Rainbow awoke to the warm rays of a mid-morning sun shining on her face. She had a fairly nasty headache. It was like a cacophonous orchestra of tiny, metal hammers pounding on her skull with a rhythmic order of percussive notes. (Shit...well, at least they can keep a beat...) It was almost as though the composition being played was titled "Good Morning, Fuckface. My Apologies...How Rude Of Me. I Meant To Say Ms. Fuckface. Anyway, Here's A Hangover For You. Enjoy."...in D minor. She put a hoof to her forehead to massage her temples. No use. Today was sure to be a veritable particle storm of fun and merriment.

"Ugh...well...this is familiar. Oh, yeah...this is great. No, really. I mean it. Fuckin' great.", she croaked in a hoarse, barely audible whisper.

It wasn't exactly a horrible hangover, but it was by no means pleasant. At least she could deal with it. A cup of coffee and some peace and quiet would be enough to take care of the worst part of her headache. But the pressing issue that concerned her the most was as to how AJ was going to react to her moving in overnight with one extra roomie in tow. That wasn't something she anticipated with any sort of enthusiasm. AJ had a tendency to grandstand indignantly whenever somepony wasn't behaving how she felt he or she should...in accordance to the Law of Applejack, Book One, Line 25-30 of Applejack's Condemnations. (Hehehe...man...that preacher...) Rainbow loved each of her friends, but each one offered Rainbow her own, unique brand of headache. AJ's particular brand of headache consisted of her irritably sporadic penchant for sanctimony and virtual immutability. She looked over to the alarm clock that Mac must've placed in her room while bringing their stuff up the stairs.

"9:22....shit...AJ is definitely awake right now." She really didn't feel like getting out of bed...she felt groggy and sore all over. It felt as though all four of her limbs were simultaneously disobeying her brain's ambulatory commands like petulant, spoiled children, crying "Nuh uh!!" in response.

Unfortunately, she had to get up...no matter how much she didn't want to move from the downy comfort of her new bed. If she wasn't up and around soon, AJ would have yet another reason to berate her. Rainbow was already indebted to the Apples as it was...she didn't want them to think she was a lethargic, little freeloader who slept 'til noon. (...even though they probably know about me taking naps at work...) She wanted to prove that she could carry her own weight around the farm and wouldn't be a burden. Especially to AJ, seeing as to how the tan, freckled farmgirl had been a little pissed at her lately. No wonder...ever since Rainbow had absconded her brother to train for the competition, AJ had been making up whatever work he missed. She was understandably tired and well justified in her irritation with Rainbow...and would likely make her fully aware of it. Thankfully, another more positive thought occurred to her...

"Mac said he'd talk to her. Maybe she won't be so friggin' pissy this morning...I mean...we're like...guests or something. Man...that makes me sound like a douche." It did indeed. But unintentionally so.

Rainbow hadn't planned on sneaking her way into the farmhouse last night. She'd wanted to talk to AJ first thing before moving in. It hadn't been as though Rainbow had intentionally bypassed AJ or anything. She couldn't help that she and Derpy had gotten evicted with next to no notice. Well...Mac had said it was okay for them to stay...was it okay? She blushed. He'd been helping her so much lately. The money he gave her...letting her move in...helping her train...it was almost too much for her to accept. She felt embarrassed. She'd blacked last night drinking with him. What had she said to him? She couldn't recall much...her head was still groggy. She rubbed her face with her hooves. Her cheeks felt puffy...she'd been crying last night...(...great..."beer tears"...) The last clear thing she remembered was...puking on the kitchen table...(shit)...and falling out her chair...she must've been too drunk to walk on her own. Mac had to have carried her up to her room...and she'd popped feather in front of him! Twice! (Oh, jeez...)

Her ears burned red...she suddenly felt a greater mortification over her reflexive and rather erotic discrepancy last night than even her vomiting all over the kitchen table and floor. But...he was so sweet about it...understanding....she felt as though she could faintly recall something else Mac had done...was it just a dream? Could ponies even dream after blacking out like she had? She could've sworn that after Mac had laid her on the bed...he had talked to her...his voice had been shaky...holding back tears. Then...she dreamed/imagined/remembered that he'd kissed her cheek and laid his head down against hers... Had she...had they...slept together? She searched the bed for any trace of him...red fur...orange mane fibers...she felt like a police detective...ridiculous. She checked her nether regions for any..."signs"...that they'd been together last night....nothing.

Her memory of Mac supposedly caressing her last night had been nothing but a sweet dream. She sighed in disappointment. Even if she couldn't remember their intimacy the next day, it's occurrence would mean she could walk up to Red any time she wanted...she could wrap her hooves around his strong neck...kiss him...she could feel the contours of his powerful form...hear his deep, seductive voice in her ear...feel his hot breath on her neck...his tongue on her own. He'd be hers from then on. Her stallion...made for loving her and only her. She could have him any time she wanted...but no cigar. She'd have to make due with pining over him and ogling his totally ripped body's attributes from afar...attributes like his tight, muscular flank. That one was her own personal favorite. John Apple had an undeniably glorious ass. Rainbow's wings popped out suddenly, sprinkling the bed with a shower of loose, baby blue feathers.

Thinking about the big stallion had gotten her...stimulated. It was no surprise. She was fairly frustrated at an age when most mares went buck wild. Most girls her age had a coltfriend...she, however, had to relieve her frustrations herself. Well...she had to take care of this now, or she'd be popping feather at breakfast with AJ...and AJ knew exactly what it meant. She placed her left hoof on top of her pelvis and her right hoof over her marehood. She began gently rubbing her pelvic bone while massaging her most sensitive region with well-practiced motions...she began thinking of him...always of him...his strong, masculine smell...his blazing, otherworldly eyes...his powerfully built body. She thought of his breath on her neck...calling her his "baby girl"...his tongue's lapping motions on her own and on her marehood. She imagined how warm and wonderful it would feel when he finally entered her...how complete she'd feel...how good she'd feel...content. Her arousal intensified. The motions quickened. Her pulse quickened with them. Her breath grew hotter. The air around her was afire with the heat of her steaming exhalations.

"Please...baby..." She was making love to him...right now...(but only in my head...my stupid...fucked up head...)

She was atop the big stallion, bucking her hips wildly on him. She was in control...the dominant one...a complete role reversal. If they were together, Mac would never have to initiate this intimacy...this bliss. Rainbow would always beat him to the punch. She'd take care of him...take care of all his needs...and of course, she'd take care of her own in the process. After all...she had to make up for lost times...she had missed out entirely in high school, so now her physical desires were nearly insatiable. Mac would have his hooves full keeping her satisfied. She bit her lip and smiled at the thought. She continued her daydream. It always felt better when she thought of him. It was always more powerful...the pleasure was always more intense when she thought of him. Her face was close to his...she kissed him...a sudden "drop" in the pit of her stomach and a bubbling pressure signaled her pending climax. She was close. So was her imaginary lover.

"...baby, I'm...oh...f-fuck!!!", she moaned to him while she came with a series of pleasurable spasms. She pretended as though her contrived image of John Apple would hear her...like he was really there with her.

"Man...phew. Well, that was pretty decent, I guess." ...it was a good one but nothing mindblowing. At least it'd get her through the day and improve her mood a bit. The warm rush of dopamine passed through her brain. She felt some of her headache's severity diminishing...she was feeling a bit better. (Thanks, dopamine! And thanks, Twilight...for telling me what the hell "dopamine" is!) She felt drowsy...she thought of him again. It was his turn now.

She could feel him releasing himself into her...she loved it....it made her feel closer to him. She couldn't imagine his withdrawal. She wouldn't let him...no. She couldn't bear to be apart from him at that wonderful moment of pure ecstasy...she couldn't imagine not taking his essence...his seed...his love. They'd be together that way. One. He'd be her very first like she'd always wanted. She just knew it would be so...perfect...beautiful. She'd look into his eyes...those unearthly portals to his soul. She'd see his love for her in those gorgeous eyes...she'd watch him quiver, moaning and calling her name in ecstasy. He'd be so cute like that...quivering with heat...his little ears flattened...those adorable freckles. She'd take a grand satisfaction in making such a macho, tough stallion moan like that...she'd break him...make him beg for it. She'd lovingly oblige him, riding him passionately with an impish smirk on her face until he'd finished the last of his cries.

He'd kiss her, and they'd both giggle about it all. He giggled...it was cute...she'd never met a stallion who giggled before. They'd stay together like that for a while...just...basking in one another. Basking in one another's love...the thing her cowardice prevented her from having. He'd nibble her ear, and she'd scream and giggle...like her mom and dad used to do. He'd tell her he loved her. She'd tell him she loved him even more. He'd tell her that was bullshit, and she'd giggle some more. They'd fall asleep together, draped in a silver moonlight. She could rest her head on his great, red chest...it looked so soft...snuggly. Warm. She'd kiss the fluffy, red expanse and coo softly to him, pressing her ear to it to listen to his great heartbeat. She'd fall asleep in his hooves listening to the rhythmic beats echoing in his chest like a soothing metronome...with a blissful smile on her face...warm...content. She'd be happy for the first time in years. They'd be one. Together finally...as she'd always fantasized.

Rainbow wrapped her hooves around her pillow, pulling it close to her to cuddle it as though it were the actual John Apple lying there with her. She kissed the cool, satin edges and smiled. If they were together...she'd be repaired. Fixed. Happy. She was...damaged...but all she needed was for him to love her to make her normal again. He'd be there in her bed at night where her friends couldn't follow...he'd reassure her when her confidence waned...comfort her when she was crying and afraid...love her when she felt lost and alone. If they were together, nothing in the entire world could stop her!! She'd be a fucking Wonderbolt in no time!! They'd win that contest no problem!! She could show her mother that even a girl as fucked up as she could be happy again...that it was okay to love and take risks again...

Rainbow released her hold on her pillow...a sudden wave of shame overtook her. She felt...pathetic. Like a fat, comic book geek who was too cowardly to tell the stallion of her dreams how she felt about him...but she'd always rub one out thinking about him. Pathetic. As much as she wanted to wallow in her fantasies while cocooned in the downy comfort of her satin pillows and soft comforter, she knew she had to get up. She shook her head and rose to her hooves. She could hear the sound of a door slamming in the hallway across from her. Somepony was getting out of the shower. Perfect timing. She got out of bed and opened the bedroom door, grabbing her Wonderbolts-themed bag of hygiene paraphernalia as she walked across the hallway and into the open bathroom. She took a quick shower and toweled off...she brushed her teeth, almost getting the bristle fibers of her toothbrush caught in her tongue stud. She took extra care fixing her mane for her signature "carefree look." Rainbow walked back into her bedroom and quickly put away her things. A delectable smell wafted by her nose...it was...familiar...she could hear something sizzling downstairs...also...she could hear a radio playing music.

She went down to the kitchen. Ditzy was awake and sitting meekly at the kitchen table with a glass of chocolate milk...her wall-eyed, gilded stare was shyly fixed on her beverage. Rainbow turned her gaze from the goofy mailmare to see the beloved profile of John Apple, standing on his hind hooves over the stove with his hat low over his eyes and a cigarette in his mouth. The radio sitting on the kitchen counter was blaring some sort of metal/rock music. She didn't mind a little music, but this particular song was a teensy bit too loud and aggressive for a pony who'd just awoken from an alchohol-induced slumber. ("Sludge metal" if I had to guess....yeah...) But music or no music, her mood immediately improved upon seeing him...she smiled and blushed. John just had that effect on her...no matter what a shitty day she'd had, talking to the big stallion or even just seeing him always lightened her mood. This particular moment was no exception...and his effect on her mood was amplified by the smell of a delicious aroma emanating from where he was standing by the stove.

He was cooking breakfast for everypony, manning two frying pans at once like a pro. It smelled like...Prench toast...like her dad used to make. She smiled, thinking about how they'd get along were they to start living together....Rainbow had always been an awful cook, whether she cared to admit it or not. So...he was the perfect fit for her! John could cook, and she could eat! He'd always have somepony to appreciate his cooking, and she wouldn't starve to death! It'd be the perfect arrangement! How could he be so wonderful all the goddamn time? He was almost too good to be true sometimes. The big stallion finally turned and noticed her, greeting her with a fairly surprising amount of warmth and energy for a guy who'd drank enough liquor to kill two fully grown ponies last night.

"Heeey! There's Sleepin' Beauty!" He was beaming...smiling at her, as though he were genuinely happy to see her. He actually liked her...maybe it was only platonic, but it was still nice. And he'd just called her a "beauty!" Did he think she was pretty?! She hoped so, though she'd never admit to caring about such a girly thing as being pretty.

"Mornin', Red. Hehehe...you pretty much put me under the table last night...like....literally."

"Eeyup. Real sorry 'bout that. You up fer some breakfast?" Mac was uncharacteristically energetic and chipper this morning.

"Sure, man. Thanks. So...why're you so bubbly an' shit today?"

"Oh, just happy to be alive an' kickin' is all, sugarcube. Don't you worry none 'bout me...I handle myself. But what about you? You feelin' okay today? No headache or nothin'?" It was amazing how energetically Mac was behaving...he was almost manic. The big guy was talking a mile a minute...for a stallion who was normally mute, that was saying a lot. And it was just the night before he'd consumed about 3/4 of a bottle of bourbon! Rainbow again pondered the possibility of Mac being bionic.

"Nah, man. I'm good. Nothin' too bad. Thanks for asking." The big guy was manning the two frying pans with an amazing speed...he was cooking and talking simultaneously.

"Glad to hear it. Sorry fer not cuttin' ya' off 'fore ya'...uhh..you know. My fault, I guess." Mac pantomimed the motions of a vomiting pony.

"Nah, dude. It was my fault. You were pretty decent keeping tabs on me last night. I guess I just overdid it...probably 'cuz I had a pretty shitty day and wanted to forget it or something."

"Eeyup. Reckon ya' would wanna' ferget 'bout all that. What with yer landlord an' all."

"Ugh....don't remind me...if that's even possible. I don't remember much from last night. Must've blacked out or something. Sorry for putting you out like that, man. I know how much it sucks to have to play as somepony else's foalsitter, 'cuz they're too shitfaced to look out for themselves."

"Awww...don't think nothin' of it, sugarcube. Weren't nothin'...nothing at all like when ya' had to take care of Pinkie Pie...hehehe. Ya' didn't hardly gimme' no trouble...'cept fer almost blastin' the veneer off the dang table with all that whiskey ya' drank....hehehe..." Mac was snickering at her...she wasn't amused.

"Aww, jeez...fuck my life, dude..." She put her hoof to her forehead. Well...at least he thought it was funny.

"Do what to yer life now? Sorry. I hardly know it enough for that. Anyway...'bout time ya' got up. The girls'll be down here in a minute. Almost done makin' breakfast. Why dontcha' sit on down at the table with Miss Ditzy 'til it's ready?" Rainbow nodded.

"Cool, man. Thanks. I'm starved." She sat down at the table and greeted her roomie.

"*yawn*...shit...morning, Derpy." Derpy looked up at her. Rainbow always tried to avoid looking directly into those wacky, unsettling eyes of hers.

"Morning, Rainbow.", she replied in a timid voice.

The grey mailmare timidly took baby sips of her chocolate milk, daintily nursing it as though finishing the entire glass would signify the end of one of the few things that brought her joy in life...like a child with no sense of the wideness of the world. Rainbow had to admit...it was pretty endearing. Adorable even. It reminded her of something a little filly would commonly do. Not a grown mare. Of course, Rainbow's own personal context wasn't at all a reliable measure of comparison to what a normal, little filly and mare might do. She, herself, would've just said "Fuck all that noise!" and begin chugging down the entire glass of milk at once...like some sort of...milk-chugger...filly...or something...which was a rather strange and arbitrarily arranged choice of words. Maybe...maybe she needed a cup of coffee to wake up a little more. Her head was still a bit fuzzy with a recent sleep. She directed her gaze to a dull, grey pitcher/pot sitting on the table.

"Yo, Red! Is this thing on the table full of coffee?"

Rainbow placed her hoof on the warm, metal pot's handle and gently rocked it. Yep. Something...warm...and liquid was sloshing around in there. But that didn't necessarily narrow her guess down by a measurably significant degree...there were lots of things besides coffee that were also classified as "warm liquids." Hopefully, it wasn't urine. But she couldn't imagine as to why John Apple would put a metal pot, a metal pot that looked quintessentially ideal for holding large quantities of coffee, full of urine on his family's kitchen table. Was or was that not a reasonably sane and contemporaneously relevant query to ask? No. It wasn't. She was still feeling a bit foggy. (Man....still thinkin' weird shit...what the hell?) She really needed a cup of coffee...pronto.

"Eeyup. Just made it. Help yerself. Ya' know where the mugs are?"

"Yeah, they're in the cabinet, right? Thanks, dude."

She filled one of the cups procured from the china cabinet and filled it up with the invigorating and aromatic, black beverage, mixing it with ample amounts of cream and sugar. She took a sip. This was some good stuff...maybe it was a gourmet brand? Rainbow usually drank the bargain bin grounds herself due to limited funds...albeit the coffee always tasted atrocious. (Ya' get whatcha' pay for, I guess.) This was a nice break from that shitacular, generic-as-fuck brand of coffee she usually drank...that was likely to eventually give her some sort of urinary tract infection or a rare form of anal cancer. And as an added bonus, the caffeine seemed to be helping her headache a little bit. Mac walked over to the table and laid out a medium-sized dish of little, store-bought cream cheese danishes and assorted fruit for the two mares to snack on while waiting on the main course. The gesture was warm...hospitable. She felt welcome. Not like a stranger. She was starting to feel a little better...about her headache and her eviction/unemployment situation. (Hey, this ain't so bad. Gettin' evicted isn't like...the "End of the World" or something.) She took a bite out of a nearby pastry and finished her first cup of coffee. The big, red stallion suddenly moved away from the stove and poured her another cup from the pot on the table.

Before Rainbow could even thank him, he laid out some silverware, plates, and napkins for the two mares. She smiled at him and told him she could get her own plate and utensils, but Mac insisted. He also gave her two aspirins from the kitchen's medicine cabinet to help with her headache. She told him that he didn't need to go to all that trouble just on her account, but the big stallion just shrugged her off and told her that he didn't at all mind. She'd been a guest here before, and the rest of the Apple's (even friggin' AJ) had been pretty hospitable to her...but nothing like this! Why was he being so servile? And why did he help her so much all the time? He always insisted on paying the tab for meals or drinks whenever they hung out together...like...like he was her boyfriend or something...she blushed. Wasn't that typical boyfriend behavior?...paying her way whenever they went out...on a date? (W-were all those times we went out like...actual dates?! D-does he actually like me, and he's just too shy to tell me!!? Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!) Or was all it just her imagination again?

But...she didn't feel right taking his money and crashing at his place without paying him back...somehow...maybe by helping around the farm? (Yeah...that's it.) She was determined to prove to him that she wasn't just a freeloader and merely taking advantage of him. She was definitely going to work her ass off to pay him back for all his generosity. But not right now...after breakfast maybe... As guilty as she felt for having him go to all the trouble of fussing over her like this, it was still pretty nice....and he insisted. Mac's catering to her like this was a damn fine change of pace from being ignored or blatantly told to "eat shit" by most ponies. She might as well enjoy it. The big stallion strode over to refill her cup of coffee. Whether she liked the attention or not, she was starting to feel lazy and ungracious. She couldn't let him go to so much trouble just for Derpy and herself.

"Hey, c'mon, dude! My legs ain't broken and shit. Both a' my forehooves work. You don't have to give yourself a friggin' hear attack tryin' to cook and pour my coffee for me at the same time. I can get it." The big stallion just grinned and kept cooking and serving the two mares at a frantic, breakneck pace.

"Nah. Yer guests in my home. This is just how we treat company out here in the country. And regardless as to whether or not I hold an especial aversion for the term of classification and all minutia therein related, Imma' country boy. An' this here's the country." (Man...he's...he's like...really smart...jeez...that made me sound like an idiot.)

Rainbow could just listen to the big lug talk all day...his voice was so deep and velvety...and he was so eloquent. His voice was purely sexual...seductive...she could imagine hearing it being spoken in her ear...his lips just inches away from it...the deep, rich bass lulling her into a trance. Rainbow blushed again. And she decided she really liked the term "country boy." It sounded erotic...like role playing or something. A "country boy" fantasy began playing in her head. She could imagine Mac's powerful body...coated with sweat after a long day's work...every muscle glistening as he put away his tools in the barn and headed towards farmhouse...then he'd enter the bathroom and get in the shower...the hot water would start washing away the day's toil-induced sweat...and it would flatten his coat making his physique all the more visible...and his big, hard throbbing co-(Stop it! Jeez...stop being so perverted. Get your shit together, dude. Just don't think about it...about his...his tight flank...how big his co-quit it!!)

"Okay...I like...appreciate the hospitality and stuff...I just don't want you to go to too much trouble. You're making me feel guilty and stuff, man.", she responded whilst still in the throes of her fantasy. Was she being too whiny? Did she sound like she was unappreciative and hard to please? She hoped he didn't think so. Now where was she? (Oh...that's right...hehehe...)

And then Rainbow would come into shower, too, to join him. Then the two of them would go at it like rabbits...which was an understatement. More like wolverines on meth, if Rainbow had any say about it. Mac would be walking funny for weeks afterwards. (*sigh*...guess I couldn't help thinking about it...whatever...fuck it.) She grinned. This little fantasy of hers was starting to sound like a certain erotic novel she'd borrowed from Rarity. The book was pretty explicit, too. It was practically pornographic. Of course, she felt a little...skeezy...and...a bit excessively lascivious reading that kind of stuff. But she had needs...and she didn't have anypony to satiate them. (Maybe he can...uh oh.) Rainbow's fantasy was suddenly interrupted, as she realized that she was about a step away from popping feather again. But hadn't she already taken care of that little problem earlier this morning?! Regardless, she couldn't risk the embarrassment of it now...especially here at the breakfast table. (No! Bad wings! Down, girls! Down! Ya' hear me circulatory system?! Negative blood flow to the wings!) She fought back panic and continued struggling to keep her wings down by her sides. She thought safe...boring...non-erotic thoughts.

"Aww...don't feel like that. Ain't no trouble hardly at all. An' it ain't like I gotta' choice or nothin'. It's an obligation for us country folk and whatnot." Safe...non-sexy...non-arousing...thoughts...she could do this. (Mind over matter...mind over matter...)

(Okay...okay...c'mon! Think about...uhh...weather station paper work!...yeah. That's it! Just filling out boring paperwork at the station...Stanley's skinny, middle-aged, unsexy ass comes into the office to tell me another boring-as-all-fuck story about something his kids did the other day...then I get bored and start falling asleep...yep...that should do it...nothing hot and sexy goin' on in here...until Mac walks in dressed up as a manager, takes over for Stanley as the new supervisor, and then he picks me up with his big, strong, totally ripped forehooves and throws me on top my desk and just starts givin' it to me...railing me with his big, hard co-Oh, goddammit! C'mon!...c'mon...try something else... think about...dead puppies...Flitter's annoying fucking laugh...that fat fucking bitch who was my eighth grade gym teacher...or what about high school gym class?...yeah, I had PE for first period...totally boring and not even remotely hot...just a bunch of nasty, superficial bitches who can't even do one pull-up teasing me...but then Mac walks in and tells everypony that he's the new gym teacher...he gets all hot n' sweaty during volleyball...I stay late after class...and catch him in the boy's shower ro-dammit! Nothin's working! Wait...the time I walked in on Derpy while she was in can...phew!...that did it. Crisis averted. Man...I hope Derpy'n Mac didn't see me sweating and stuff.) She had won a great victory this day. Her mind had conquered her desires.

"Jeez...so like...it's like a custom or something?" If only Mac knew about the epic battle that Rainbow had just fought with herself inside her own head.

"Eeyup. It ain't optional neither. Ya' might as well stop complainin' 'bout it an' get used to it. 'Cuz after today, y'all probably ain't gonna' get treated like guests no more."

"Huh? Whaddya' mean?", asked Rainbow while Derpy averted her wall-eyed gaze from her chocolate milk to look up at her.

"Y'all're gonna' be livin' here fer a while, right? 'Til ya' get back on yer hooves an' whatnot?" Where was he going with this?

"Yeah...if that's okay with you guys...we won't stay too long, though! We ain't freeloaders or nothin', dude." The big guy merely chuckled.

"Hehehe...nah, y'all ain't freeloadin' at all. It's just that after y'all've been livin' here for a while, ya' ain't "guests" no more. It's all just some rudimentary, country folk social cue an' politeness. Apples an' most other country folk done got this crazy code of etiquette on how to treat other ponies. Ya' see...when ya' become "residents," ya' lose the hospitality benefits. Meanin' ya' start bein' like family an' the like. An' that also means ya' won't be gettin' the "hospitality wagon" again fer a long while. Y'all're gonna' start havin' to follow some a' the house rules an' doin' a few chores like the rest of us, if'n ya' wanna' stay here. Not tryin' to lecture ya'. Just givin' ya' a heads up is all."

"Oh. Huh." Apple family social customs were a lot more complicated than Rainbow had thought. Unnecessarily so even. It seemed kind of ridiculous.

"An' once y'all become residents, y'all ain't gonna' be classified as "guests" again 'till ya' move out completely an' stay gone fer a full month. Then when ya' come back to visit, yer considered "guests" again...or somethin' like that."

"Jeez, man. That's...all kinda'...kinda'..."

"Goddang stupid an' unecessarily complex? Eeyup. Sure is."

"Dude! I wasn't gonna' say that! Honest!", said Rainbow while lying right through her teeth.

"Heh. Yeah, you were. I know ya' too well, girl. But I don't take no offense or nothin'. Honestly, I think we Apples take our social etiquette too goddang far. It's almost a dang religion out here. And I wasn't sayin' yer lazy or nothin earlier with all that."

"Jeez...that's...pretty... But like...it's no problem. Don't worry about us, man. We're just glad you guys took us in. We'll play ball and help you guys out around here."

"Well, I really 'ppreciate that, Rainbow. I know it all seems mighty strange to a pair a' Pegasi. Hell...even I think it's kinda' stupid. "Just be polite an' don't be an asshole" should cover it, but the old folks wanna' go an' it make it complicated....sorry fer the language."

"Holy fucking shit, Red!....again?! For the last time, man...you don't have to apologize for cursing! How many times are ya' gonna' do that?!" Mac snickered and grinned at her.

"As many times as I do it. Ain't gonna' change no time soon either. An' ain'tchu the "pot callin' the kettle black?" You done told me thanks an' how yer gonna' help out 'round here 'bout fourteen goddang times. Seriously. Ya' can cut it out now, girl. It's gettin' purdy annoyin'. Ya' best check ya' self 'fore ya' wreck yerself." Mac's usage of some rather outdated "street lingo" sent Rainbow into a fit of giggles.

"Hehehehe....oh, whatever...hehehe... Go blow a goat, Red...hehehe..."

"Hehehe...alright...but he ain't gonna' enjoy it. My lips are purdy chapped right now. Gonna' feel like a dang cheese grater." She wouldn't mind his lips, no matter how chapped they were...his lips kissing her own...and down between her knees on her cl-(Cut it out already! Damn...I swear...)

Well, she heard the stallion. This was just the "welcome wagon." She could get used to this! She wasn't even remotely accustomed to being spoiled like this, but she certainly didn't mind it beyond a feeling of being indebted to him. Whether this was a "one-time deal" or not, it was pretty refreshing...nopony other than her own parents had ever been so kind to her...so sweet. It was like having some kind of...big, strong...sexy butler or something...like those guys who worked for rich ponies...or for a princess. Rainbow blushed at that last thought...it was kind of like...she was his princess...like she was worth something. (...special...) Maybe her theory of why Mac was always helping and pampering her like this a bit of a stretch...but...maybe it wasn't just another one of her delusional fantasies.

She knew he liked her. He'd told her so himself...was the real reason he was pampering her like this solely out of affection, albeit it might just be a platonic affection?...or was it just an generalized, obligatory country gesture to show hospitality to his guests like he'd told her? Both, maybe? An affectionate hospitality? Was it the same kind of gesture ponies reserved for Princess Celestia when she visited? Well, the big lug was giving Derpy the same treatment, so maybe she was just going off into Crazytown again with another of her random fantasies. Did...did he feel the same way about her? He could be desperately in love with her or could secretly loathe her with a passion, and Rainbow would never know it. Despite the fact that she and Mac had clicked on a surprisingly deep level, there were still a lot of "shadows" in the big, red stallion's past and personality that she didn't understand. Mac seemed to have more mystery surrounding him than an Imperial secret agent. She had no idea what he wanted in a girl or even anything he wanted in life at all. As a direct contradistinction, Rainbow merely wanted to be loved and get laid...well...get laid a lot. And they say mares are complicated! (I...just...just like...give me a fuckin' clue, man, and I can go from there!! Jeez! Aren't stallions supposed to be simple an' shit?! Isn't it supposed to be mares that are like more...complicated an' junk?! Rarity's magazines are so totally full of shit!!)

She had a hard time reading John Apple sometimes...like the times when he suddenly shifted his personality from it's typical demeanor like being quietly benevolent or manically friendly like now....he sometimes changed his expression to a hard...withering...almost angry stare....his eyes would sometimes stare into....nothing. His demeanor would completely shift to a distant...removed...cold demeanor, and Rainbow wouldn't be able to get more than a simple "eeyup/eenope" out of him. It would only happen occasionally, and Mac would always return to behaving like his old self again after a few minutes. Rainbow didn't know what any of that was about, (probably veteran stuff) but she thought it best to not call him out on it. He might get angry with her, and he'd deny it all anyway...so there would be no point. But they had become so close! How could he keep things from her? And then she had a thought...maybe John Apple only showed her what he wanted her to see. What was he hiding from her? (Stop being such a tool...he's just introverted is all...) She banished the thought and returned to thinking about how Mac felt about her. Mac suddenly cursed, as he was singed by an errant globule of hot oil.

"Sorry fer the language. My bad, y'all." Rainbow again assured him that she wasn't even remotely offended...she couldn't speak for Derpy, though.

"Don't eat too many of them danishes, Rainbow. Got the main course comin' in just a minute, so don't make yerself sick eatin' too much. And don't you go upchuckin' on that table again, girl!", goaded Mac with a devilish grin as she leaned back in one the Apple family's oak wood chairs with her cup of coffee, shoveling danishes into her mouth without a second thought. Great. He'd just made her feel like a complete fat ass.

"Jeez, man, let it go! I'm not gonna'!" She found it strangely ironic how the very subject of her sophomoric daydream not ten minutes ago had also served as the impetus that had ruined it for her.

"An' don't puke on the chairs neither!" She broke into a fit of giggles. It didn't make up for spoiling her daydream, but it was still a welcome reparation...modest as it was by comparison.

"Hehehe...I'm not!...I swear!..."

"That includes pukin' on Miss Ditzy, too. An' AJ. An' Apple Bloom. An' Granny."

"Hehehe....you're the biggest douche ever. You're like...the friggin' mayor of Douchetown." The big stallion chuckled.

"Aww...just a mayor? Sounds like a downgrade from bein' the "Archdouche." Were my hopes of eventually gettin' to be the "Lord an' Master of All the Known Doucheniverse" too brazen?"

"Hehehe....yep. Just a bit."

"Oh, but how my hubris has again betrayed me!"

"That's what she said." She just rolled that joke out with no forethought, but Mac started snickering. The two of them could banter back and forth like this for hours...just...talking and laughing about nothing in particular. They were so perfect for one another...compatible. They meshed so well...they didn't have to act like somepony they weren't when they were together. It was...just so...perfect. How couldn't he see it like she could?

"Hehehe...the hell? That don't make any sense, girl."

"Neither does your face!" Mac recoiled in faux horror.

"Oh, dang! Was that a burn, Rainbow? Did I just get burned? Oh, nooooooooooooooo...", wailed Mac facetiously, as Rainbow burst into another fit of giggles.

"Hehehee...yep. Totally burned your ass."

"Somepony! Anypony! Help! I need to go to the hospital! Rush me to the burn ward! I need burn salve! An' some skin grafts! An' a whole lotta' morphine...not fer recreation or nothin'...fer...the uhh...pain...honest! An' I need some bandages! An' more morphine! An' antiseptic! But mostly morphine! Did I mention the "morphine?!"" He was so goofy...so much fun to be around. Their "inside jokes" were lame and more than a little bit stupid...but Rainbow loved them.

"Hehehee...you're such a dork....so...whatcha' makin'?" Mac showed her a bowl of batter and strawberries...Rainbow liked strawberries...and batter meant "fried" or something. Two things she already liked added together? Nice. (I put that in my calculator, and it makes a smiley face.)

"Strawberry cream cheese-stuffed Prench toast an' eggs. Figured y'all needed a nice breakfast after last night." He was...he was the best. Perfect.

"Oh. Sweet. Can I help?" Mac's reaction was fairly predictable.

"NO! Dear God, no! You stay yer little, blue behind far the hell away from this fryin' pan!"

"Heheheh....awww, c'mon dude! You're totally exaggerating! I ain't that bad a cook."

"Yes...yes, you are. Yer the physical embodiment of culinary death."

"Hehehe....that's a bit much, dude. C'mon."

"Eenope. Yer the veritable Harbinger of Dysentery. An' don't worry none 'bout all this. I got it. Like I said before...y'all're guests." She merely smiled in resignation. The big lug turned back towards the stove to finish preparing their breakfast. She was still feeling chatty so she turned to talk to her roomie.

"So, Ditzy...um...like...what're ya' doin' up this early? Aren't you off work today?"

"Yeah...post office is closed on Sunday."

"How long ya' been up?"

"Since about...uhh...5:30 this morning." That long? Had she been chatting with Red all morning? Rainbow almost felt a pang of jealously until she remembered that Ditzy was far too shy to so much as even look at a stallion as attractive as he.

"Jeez, man...I don't get that early bird shit at all...ya' coulda' slept in or something."

"I just couldn't get to sleep last night...after all that happened yesterday..."

"Sister...I hear ya'. If it weren't for Big Red'n me poundin' some shots last night, I wouldn'ta' been able to crash either."

"You and Big Macintosh drank together?", she asked with her ephemerally catawampus gaze. The wobbly eyes were threatening to overwhelm Rainbow's discipline and send her into an uncomfortable fit of guffaws.

"Yep. We hit it up pretty good, yo. Huh....I wonder who had to clean the kitchen up last night..." Hopefully, John hadn't had to clean it.

"It was Applejack. She sure was mad...she had to do all of Mac's chores on top of cleaning the kitchen. Well, it's a good thing this table is clean now...it smelled pretty bad...there was vomit with a rag over it down here when I woke up this morning...I wonder where it came from..." (Oh, great. She's thinking...well...this'll take a while...)

Rainbow patiently waited for her to make the rather obvious connection. Derpy's eyes crossed for a moment in thought as her simple, little brain laboriously commenced performing the ill-suited task of making the blatantly conveyed connection between Rainbow's bender and the pile of vomitus on the floor and table. This strenuous exercise of Derpy's mental acuities was undoubtedly placing a good deal of stress on her woefully underendowed brain. (Hope she doesn't pull something...her neurons gotta' be sweating bullets an' shit.) Her little face scrunched up with an expression of an indiscernibly profound consternation, as though it were straining to fathom something virtually unknowable to all sapient minds in a nigh-Sisyphean display of utter futility. Derpy's expression intensified. The mailmare's eyes dilated, as though she were traversing the very boundaries of the known universe in search of an absolute truth. But...finally...Ditzy figured it out. It had taken her an entire minute. So...yeah. Basically, Derpy wasn't all that bright.

"Ohhhh...that explains all the puke..." (Atta', girl.)

Derpy was pretty slow, but it was hard to find a sweeter, gentler pony in all of Equestria. Even a girl as timidly sweet as Fluttershy couldn't hold a candle to Derpy's level of benevolence. Most ponies couldn't find it in themselves to be mean to her in any way....even though she was extremely shy, she was kind of the town's "sweetheart." Everypony in town knew her name and loved her, waving at her while she flew around haphazardly to deliver their mail. She would just squeak out a timid "hello" and wave back in response, dropping her mail off and self-consciously flying off and away from any potentially scathing judgements that the townsfolk could have for her. Of course, Derpy's low self-esteem was unwarranted. Shy as she was, she was genuinely sweet and cheery, and everypony loved seeing her. Which made what had happened to her boyfriend all the more terrible.

"Yeah. My bad. AJ had to clean it up, huh? Hehehe....man...that's pretty ace!" Rainbow loved her friend and generally policed herself to keep from being a nuisance to her, but it was still pretty funny. (Hehehe...I bet she was all like "Ah, dangnabbit! That durn Rainbow Dash done puked on mah eatin' table! Now where'm Ah gonna' set my meth lab?! Tarnations, pardner!! I shore do love inbreedin'!!")

"Are you sure it's okay for us to stay here?"

"'Course I am! Like I said, Me'n AJ go way back." Rainbow could see Winona lounging on top her pet bed, watching Mac intently as he cooked. She thought about her own little animal friend. (He's still upstairs.) She wondered if Tank would get along with the hyperactive border collie as a playmate. She decided probably not...the fuzzy, little lighting bolt would be too much for the ponderously sluggish reptile.

"Oh. Okay. For how long? Are we gonna' get the apartment back?"

"Yep. We're just stayin' here 'til we get back on our hooves. Don't worry. We'll get the apartment back. We just gotta' save some money to pay Gary off and put down another deposit. I'm already workin' on it, too. Me'n Red got that contest in the bag, yo'. We're gonna' win that prize money."

"Is that what that Iron Pony thing is for? To pay the rent we owe?" Yes. Duh. For the love of God, yes. What else was it for? Rainbow was usually patient her...usually...but Derpy's sluggishness to catch on to stuff was wearing on her nerves...which is why she and Rainbow didn't often hang out. That and the grey mare's eyes creeped her out a little bit. (Man...now I feel like a douche...)

"Yeah."

"What if you lose?" Ditzy Doo's big, golden right eye was staring at Rainbow questioningly. Her left eye was off-kilter and staring the other way, as it was so often want to do. The effect was somehow simultaneously disturbing and hilarious. (...those friggin' eyes, man...it's like they see all my sins an' shit...) Rainbow had always kept a respectful distance from the goofy mare in fear of cracking up with laughter. But she would never say this to Ditzy's face...it'd hurt her feelings.

"Well...then this was all just a big waste of time....but that's not gonna' happen. We're gonna' win."

"Oh...I hope so. It'd be bad...if you lost..." Rainbow's cavalier, dismissive attitude deflated immediately. That statement by itself had worried Rainbow, but it was more Ditzy's tone that had unnerved her. Her typically tinkly, cheery voice had suddenly become distant and somber...more so even than last night. It wasn't at all like her.

"Yeah...I guess that would kinda' suck."

"...all that time wasted...for nothing." Why was she saying all of this?

"Cheery...I hope you don't ever answer phones for a telemarketing company or something. You'd turn it into a suicide hotline with that attitude." Maybe...maybe that joke was a bit tacky. (..eh...kinda' mean...too soon...)

"Huh? Answer phones? I work at the post office, but they won't let me answer the phones anymore after that one time I stood in for somepony who was on call duty...." She didn't get the joke apparently, but at least Rainbow was in for a unintentionally funny story about one of Derpy's many, many blunders. She thought it was a bit cruel to laugh at her roomy's misfortunes, but...seriously. Some of the stuff Derpy did was legendary. (Like the time she totally faceplanted right into Twilight's mailbox outside the library!! Hehehe...priceless...) And it wasn't as though she was laughing at Derpy per se....it was more like laughing with her...and at the situation.

"Why dontcha' tell me about it? Please...go on...hehehe"

"Really? You usually tell me you don't wanna' hear about work. But okay."

"Just humor me, dude. Please. Go on...hehehe..." This was sure to good.

"Well...I answered the phone..."

"Yeah. And?"

"It was a stallion on the other end."

"Okay...and?"

"He told his name was "Jim," and he wanted to talk to a post office representative."

"And?"

"I told him "okay." (Oh, for the love of...)

"He asked who was on the phone with him..."

"Derpy...just keep telling the story...you don't have to take breaks in between sentences." Or maybe she did. Remembering things was probably a pretty tall order for her ill-equipped, little brain to handle.

"Huh?"

"No, seriously. Just tell the whole story at once."

"Ohhhhh...I didn't get what you meant...okay. I can do that." Rainbow was somewhat doubtful.

"Cool. Go on..."

"Well...I told him it was "Ditzy Doo. Well, he asked who "Ditzy Doo" was, and I told him it was me. He asked if he was talking to the post office, and I told him "no." He asked what number he just called. I told him it was the post office number. He told me he was confused...I told him "me, too..." Rainbow began snickering. It was made all the more funny by Ditzy's deadpan delivery. She likely didn't even know what was so funny.

"Heheheh...aww....man...keep goin'..."

"Well...he asked how he couldn't be talking to the post office, if he'd called the post office's number. I told him he had called the right number, but he was talking to me. He said he was confused again. I just told him that you couldn't talk to a post office. Post offices can't talk like ponies can. A post office is just a building. But I told him I'd be happy to answer any of his questions. He got mad and said he wanted to talk to my manager...so I called the manager..." Rainbow was rolling. Technically...Derpy hadn't been incorrect. The guy had been talking to Ditzy and not a post office. Just...in a very...very literal sense.

"Hehehehe.....oh...shit...then what happened?"

"Well...the manager on duty came over and took the phone away from me. He said I didn't have to answer phones anymore after that."

"Heheheheh...cool story, bro. So which manager was this again? You got like...four managers or somethin', right?" Rainbow immediately regretted asking the question.

"It was Milky's dad...he came over...and...I was feeling really dumb and started crying in the break room. Milky told me I hadn't done anything wrong afterwards...he kissed me and made me feel better..." Ditzy looked back down at her glass of chocolate milk with despair. There were tears misting her eyes. Rainbow felt terrible. Just when she'd managed to get her roomie's mind off Milky's death, she went and reminded her by sheer coincidence. Nice.

"Hey...how do I put this...jeez... Look...it's gonna' be great living here. I promise. I know you've had a shitty week, but it's gonna' get better." Derpy merely lowered her eyes back down to her glass of chocolate milk and began intensely staring into it's tawny, nebulous depths, as though the sweet liquid held an unfathomably cosmic truth. (...probably wondering how white milk gets turned brown...)

"No...I don't think it will. *sniff* It's going to get worse..."

"C'mon! There're other guys out there! I'll bet they'll be crawlin' all over ya'!" Maybe...maybe that was a bit too soon...

"*sniff*...I dont...want anypony else...I want Milky back..."

"Ditzy...jeez...ya' gotta' come outta' this and start living again. Milky wouldn't want you to be like this. He'd want you to be happy."

"Yeah....but...I can't..."

"Yes. You can. Just stay positive. Honor his memory by getting on with your life. Just get back out there and start living. Milky loved you."

"Why would...*sniff*...he be happy if I start dating somepony else?" Rainbow was losing her patience again.

"'Cuz that's what love is about. He loved you. So he'd want you to be happy. Do you really think he'd want you feeling like shit all the time?"

"N-no..."

"Exactly. So try to be positive. You'll feel better."

"Every day...every day it gets worse...I can't..." The wall-eyed mailmare wasn't even trying.

"Hey! Stop givin' off a negative vibe, Ditzy! Be positive!" She wasn't in a great mood to begin with, but Ditzy's sad-sacking was bringing her even further down. Ditzy had a good reason to be depressed, but Rainbow had had enough of it.

"Sorry..."

"It's cool. Just keep thinking positive...you're not gonna' feel any better doing what you're doing. Ya' gotta' get back out there and live life, ya' know? It's what he would've wanted for you. He'd want you to be happy, wouldn't he? Just keep saying that to yourself...don't forget it. Okay?" Ditzy dumbly nodded.

"Yeah...you're right. Sorry."

Rainbow remembered the night she'd learned of Milky's death...Ditzy had been devastated ever since. But she'd only get worse just wallowing like this in a state of absolute despair...Rainbow wasn't entirely sure how long it typically took for a pony to cope with bereavement, but she knew from personal experience that you had to proactively improve your situation and stay upbeat to get better. That one, old adage, "Time heals all wounds", was complete bullshit in her experience. She knew that the pain only got worse with time. But she understood how Ditzy felt...after her father had died, Rainbow had sunk into a deep, near-catatonic depression and refused to leave her room. The then thirteen year old filly had just laid in bed with the curtains drawn over the window...she barely ate or talked to anypony. The complete and utter horror of it all...the suddenness...the complete shock of it all. Denial set in.

It had taken her completely by surprise. It had all happened so fast...overnight, her life had been shattered...fractured. She had become rattled with the nigh dissociative incredulity that it had even happened at all...how could it?...but it had. It was true. The reality struck her like the hammering fist of a great giant. She was shellshocked. But it wasn't fair! Surely, she hadn't deserved any of it! And then...she started having nightmares...the worst one was always that nightmare. The recurring one...it plagued her with a dichotomous, deceitful marriage of an awful horror and one her favorite memories. It would tantalize her with the promise of joy...and then, when she was at her most hopeful and vulnerable, the dream would horrify and malign her without warning. It would tear her apart inside...cutting into her heart and mind with a scalpel coated in acid...leaving terrible swaths of bloody, septic cuts in it's wake. There was no peace for her. No solace.

She'd just laid there for almost an entire year...her mother had tried talking to her, but she rarely responded. She laid there, wallowing in her misery. Her pain. Anguish. It grew worse and worse with each day, until it became unbearable. She only wanted the pain to stop...she wanted her daddy to come back...for him to come save her and make the nightmares to go away. But...he wasn't ever coming back. She had been beaten down by the grief...broken by pain. She gave up on fighting it all back down. She was too tired...too exhausted to fight anymore. She just didn't want to hurt anymore...but there was only one way she could be sure she wouldn't. She would have to die. Rainbow had tried hanging herself in her room one night...she'd tied her bedsheet into a noose and tied it the light fixture in her room's ceiling. Thankfully...upon the night of her suicide attempt, the light fixture came loose from the ceiling and dropped her to the floor. Her mother had burst into room to find what all the noise was about...it didn't take her mother long before she'd fully assessed the situation. Cloudia's subsequently panicked response was prompt and predictable.

Unsurprisingly, Cloudia had taken Rainbow to several psychiatrists for therapy. Rainbow hated those shrinks...they tried poking and prodding into her memories...they made her relive it all over again. She couldn't take it...she stopped listening to them. After exhausting their options, they tried to prescribe her antidepressants. The teenage filly had refused to take her meds...she thought they were just trying to dope her up. She didn't think the pills could help her. Could a bunch of pills bring her father back to life and undo what had happened to her? If not, then they were useless as far as she was concerned. She just continued sinking...deeper and deeper into the pit. Rainbow's mom had tried her best to console her, but her efforts had been in vain. Rainbow then began to feel ashamed of herself for being so selfish...her mother had lost just as much as Rainbow...it was a time when Cloudia had desperately needed her daughter's support and love, and Rainbow had deserted her...and had even tried to take "the easy way out." (I tried to...tried to bail on her...abandoned her...)

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Ditzy. Just keep your chin up, ya' know? I went through the same thing an' shit. I know it fuckin' sucks...believe me, I know!...but ya' gotta' start living again." Rainbow wondered if it was "insensitive" to tell her wall-eyed roomie all this after only two weeks had passed...but that didn't matter in the long run. What did matter was that Derpy got over all this and got her life back together...the goofy mailmare would be much happier in the end. Wallowing in despair wouldn't get the poor filly anywhere.

Rainbow's own self-pity and suicide attempt had only served to hurt her mother...her mother had had enough pain after she'd lost her husband. It was so...stupid. Selfish. She needed to be strong for her mom. She decided she wanted to live again...she wanted to beat him...to show The Beast that he hadn't broken her and to honor her dad's name. Rainbow remembered the day she came out her depression...it had been close to her fourteenth birthday...she'd just gotten so furious with herself for being so weak and selfish. Rainbow was tired of grieving...tired of being hollow...being dead inside. An entire year of her young life had been sucked into the vacuous, insatiable void of her grief. She knew she'd never be the same again, but she sure as hell wasn't just going to lose another year lying in bed...waiting for death. She wanted to be happy again...for her mother to be happy again. She knew she needed to be strong...she then looked to the one pony who'd taught her the meaning of strength.

She'd began looking through her dad's photo album. Practically all of Colton's career as a Wonderbolt had been photographed, but she was looking for one particular picture...it was special. She'd found it...that one picture where he was standing in front of the sunset...he was in his Wonderbolt uniform with the hood down. Five year old Rainbow Dash was sitting atop his head, mussing up the vibrant tresses of his prismatic mane. That picture had given her the motivation she needed. She remembered what her father had told her...that she was a fighter. She couldn't make her father wrong...a liar. She would do his memory justice. And if there were such a thing as "Heaven", she would make him proud to call himself her father from the afterlife.

She'd rediscovered her passion...her fire...she refused to go down without a fight. She'd started fighting the pain...the misery. She got herself back together without taking so much as a single antidepressant. She started being a better daughter to Cloudia, helping her around the apartment and consoling her when needed. She prepared herself to enter her first year of high school and again began her training to become a Wonderbolt. She started taking martial arts classes to learn how to fight...how to fight much bigger, stronger opponents...she was going find The Beast one day again. She was going to make him pay...make him hurt, too. She had purpose again...drive...a reason to fight again. She would fight for her father. For her mother. For her friends. For Equestria. (...for John...baby...) She turned to look at him...he was singing.