Author's Notes:

Warning: while, unlike two previous chapters, this one doesn't contain clop, I wrote part of it while drunk. Not that the part I wrote while sober is much better or something.

“I can’t believe they ended up in prison!” Octavia exclaimed. “Bon Bon is so responsible…”

“Yeah, right.” Vinyl deadpanned. They were walking down the street, unable to find any taxi. To makes matters worse, it just started to rain.

“I still don’t get how they got caught.” Berry observed. “Lyra can teleport, why didn’t they escape?”

“I think I know,” Vinyl replied, smiling mischievously. “When Bon Bon called, she mentioned something about public indecency. If it was indecent enough, she wasn’t able to teleport.”

“What do you mean by ‘indecent enough’?” Octavia asked, smirking at Vinyl.

“That thing you did with your hooves tonight would surely be enough…”

“Excuse me while I throw up,” Berry said, her face indeed a bit green. Octavia looked at her and decided that quarreling with Vinyl about who was more indecent last night wouldn’t be wise. Especially considering the fact that she had a habit of vomiting when she saw a pony throwing up. Probably her subconsciousness didn't want the fellow pony to feel lonely.

“I hope they weren’t too indecent…” she said. “Your brother was really kind to give us the money to bail them, but they can be in a real trouble…”

“From what Bon Bon said, they murdered a cabbie and molested a filly… Or the other way round.”

“Bloody hell…" Octavia cursed with her flawless Trottingham accent. "We’ll need to get them a barrister…”

“A barista?" Vinyl asked. "Well, a coffee would be great, but I don’t think it’d help them.”

Octavia facehoofed.

“A barrister, not a barista. It’s how we call an attorney in Trottingham.”

“Cool. They not only help you with the law thingy, but they also make a coffee. I’d like to go there one day…”

Octavia only shook her head. Being Vinyl’s roommate taught her to just give up hope sometimes.

“I wouldn’t bother.” Berry said. “You know what I think about foal molesters. I have a daughter and–”

“Yes, we know.” Vinyl interrupted her. “But we’ll need to confront them about that first. You know, no one is guilty until proven innocent.”

Berry looked at her, amazed.

“That’s quite wise for you… Did you also study law?”

“No, that’s just what my attorney said when Sapphire Shores filed a restraining order against me.”

“Vinyl, thousands of ponies saw you fighting with her during that MTV Equestria event.” Octavia sighed. “There was no way somepony would prove you were innocent.”

“Yeah, but I also filed a restraining order against her…”

“Because she kicked your ass?” Berry laughed at Vinyl's expression. “What? I saw that on TV too…”

Vinyl shot her a nasty glare and turned away from her.

“I’d still cut every foal molester’s balls off and feed them to him…” Berry said.

“Well, good luck trying that with Lyra and Bon Bon. Dunno how about Bonnie, but last time I checked Lyra had no balls. And I was really close...”

“Vinyl, please..." Berry made a gagging sound. "Small technical difficulties. I’ll find a way…”

“Are you misandric?” Octavia asked innocently.

“What kind of question is that?”

“Every time we meet you, you mention castrating a stallion at least once. That’s getting creepy.”

“She wants to have a dick, that’s simple.” Vinyl grinned. Berry gave out a fake laughter.

“Vinyl, sweetheart, penis envy is soooo last century... Octavia, I assure you, you’d want to do that too if you were married to Mr. Faster-Than-Light…”

“So, it’s about your ex? Do you want to talk about that?” Octavia asked. She started to look for some comfortable couch to sit Berry on it, but she found none. Manehattan was a weird town, but even there it was difficult to find a couch standing on the pavement in the middle of the town.

“No. Besides, I don’t want to castrate every stallion, just the ones who hurt foals.”

“Did your husband hurt them?”

“No, it’s just–”

“So, you want to castrate the molesters and your husband?” Vinyl asked, smiling triumphantly. “Because he couldn’t satisfy you and left you with a foal, you hate the whole male population of the planet?”

“I don’t want to castrate my husband, buck off! When did that conversation become a psychoanalysis of me, conducted by a pony who got rutted by her own brother?”

“Hey, I didn’t! Octavia was between us for the whole time!”

“Vinyl!” Octavia blushed heavily. Several ponies looked at them.

“Still, it sounds incest-ish.” Berry smiled triumphantly. “Besides, this whole conversation will be pointless, if they actually killed the filly and molested a cabbie.”

“Double standards now, huh?” Vinyl asked. “You’re okay with harassing stallions?”

“I’d be more interested in Berry’s approval for killing fillies,” Octavia said.

“Okay, you got me. I hate kids…” Berry blushed.

“Your daughter must be a poor child…” Octavia sighed.

“Actually, I think I know how it works.” Vinyl said. “You know, foals are like farts – you’re okay only with your own ones…”

Octavia facehoofed. As a Vinyl's roommate she knew more about her farts than she wanted to know. Berry snickered.

“You know, that’s the wisest thing I heard from you in a long time,” she told Vinyl. “You should shag your brother more often.”

“I didn’t shag my brother, for Celestia’s sake!”

“His bad…” a pony walking behind them said, “You’re hot, sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” Vinyl said, flattered. “and go buck yourself with a shovel.”

“If you say so…” He laughed and walked away.

“Geez, this town is full of creeps…”

“...said the pony who had a threeway with her own brother…” Berry replied.

“...said the pony whose pick-up line is ‘lower my IQ even more’...”

“What?” Berry looked at her, dumbfounded.

“You don’t remember?" Vinyl grinned. "Too bad, that was rich…”

“Okay, it’s official: I’m not going to drink anymore. Ever.”

“Sixty eight,” Octavia muttered under her breath.

“Is that some kind of code?” Berry asked.

“It’s like sixty nine, but with a fat chick,” Vinyl explained.

“Thank you Vinyl, I’m always fond of an expert’s opinion…” Octavia sighed. “I meant, Berry that it’s sixty eighth time I hear you telling us that you’re not going to drink anymore.”

“Sixty eight times since we met?”

“No, in last six months.”

“Sweet Celestia, I need help…” Berry shook her head.

“Don’t worry, that’s what friends are for…” Vinyl wrapped her hoof around Berry, causing her to groan with disgust. “I can be your sober companion.”

“Vinyl, there are few sober companion requirements you don’t exactly meet,” Octavia said, “like being sober, for example.”

“Don’t worry, I can go without drinking for–” Vinyl made some quick calculations, “–three days in a row? Geez, I guess I need help too.”

“Too bad I can’t help you,” Octavia said. “You simply drive me to drink…”

“That’s not what you told me last night…”

If stares could kill, Vinyl would be dead. Well, if they really could kill, she’d dead long ago. Every pony in Ponyville sent her a death glare at least once. It was a kind of tradition.

Silent, they approached the police station. The building was quite familiar to Vinyl – in fact, she had already gotten arrested in Manehattan twice. It was long time ago, in the early years of rave scene, when illegal gigs were still truly illegal, instead of being merely a form of entertainment for bored posers. Vinyl still had a scar on her forehead after she’d hit her head against the bars.

In fact, she was lucky that she only was arrested twice. She was always good at running, especially in her teen years, before she had acquired a layer of cancerogenes in her lungs.

“You know, I got arrested here once,” Berry said suddenly.

“What?” Vinyl asked. While Berry had a tendency to have too much fun from time to time, she always knew where to draw a line. Well, for most of the times.

“I don’t exactly remember. I got drunk, then my friends carried me to an illegal rave party…”

“Carried?” Octavia rose her eyebrows.

“Illegal rave party?” Vinyl’s jaw dropped.

“Exactly. I hardly remember anything, but the DJ was shit. Then the guards came and my friends left me on the floor. That imbecile DJ tripped over me and they caught her too…” Berry chuckled.

“You know…” Vinyl muttered, “When I first met you in Ponyville you looked strangely familiar to me…”

“No way… Really, Equestria is a small place...”

“THEY LOCKED ME IN THE CELL WITH A GROUP OF AGGRESSIVE FILLYFOOLERS BECAUSE OF YOU!” Vinyl shouted at the top of her lungs.

“I don’t know these mares!” Octavia, her face red, shouted to the crowd gathering slowly around them. Nopony believed her.

“You should’ve called a guard then…” Berry replied, trying to stop Vinyl from trying to strangle her.

“That’s not the thing! They were going to have an orgy in the cell... But when I was locked with them they told me that I was too young, stopped being aggressive and spent the night talking about knitting… I hate knitting...”

“That’s not what you told me last Hearth-Warming…” Octavia deadpanned. Vinyl told her what she could do to herself with a knitting needle, earning another nasty glare from her.

“Oh… I’m sorry, Tavi…”

“Apology accepted. I’m used to the fact that you talk first and think later…”

“If ever,” Berry added. “From what I understand, you just tried to strangle me only because a few years ago you landed in jail with a group of aggressive fillyfoolers who didn’t want to molest you?”

“They told me that I was too young!” Vinyl exclaimed, tears in her eyes. “I was sixteen! Who wouldn’t want to buck a sixteen-years-old?”

“Me!” A pony next to them, escorted by two guards, replied. “They’re too ol–” The door closed behind him.

“Well, me neither,” Berry said. “Though for different reasons. Also, Vinyl, you have issues. Like, tons of them.”

“What do you know about her issues…” Octavia said with a sigh. “I live with her…”

She sighed again and started to sing:

Suddenly, Berry put her hoof in her mouth, almost causing her to gag.

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but we spent last ten minutes standing in front of the police station, talking about aggressive fillyfoolers, bucking underaged fillies and knitting. Singing is the last thing we need…”

Octavia muttered something incomprehensible.

“She asks you to remove your hoof. You stepped into something gross,” Vinyl explained.

“Whoops… Sorry…” Berry smiled sheepishly.

“Okay, don’t you remember why we’re here?” Vinyl exclaimed, while Octavia was spitting on the pavement. “We need to save Lyra and Bon Bon.”

“Maybe you should stay outside then?” Berry asked. “I know you, you’ll only cause more trouble…”

“Don’t worry, I know how to talk to the guards…”

Actually, it was true. Vinyl, being the DJ, anarchist, drunkard, and junkie met a lot of guards in her life. In fact, from the Crystal Empire on the North to the Changeling Territories on the South, there was no police station without at least one mugshot of her. She quickly learned that storming the commander’s office yelling “whom should I give head to be released from here?” wasn’t exactly the best way to get out of arrest. Deep inside, Vinyl was a master of diplomacy. She could easily become a lawyer, if she didn’t have an attention span of a goldfish with ADHD, fed with cocaine. Don’t ask how she knew how a goldfish on cocaine looked like.

Before Berry could say something, Vinyl stormed the police station. She walked down the corridor, found the room with the biggest number of guards in it and yelled:

“Good morning, guys. Whom should I pay to get my friends outta here?”

“It depends,” a grey unicorn guard replied. “Who are your friends?”

“Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon… Hmm, I don’t think she has a surname. That’s weird. All my friends have surnames, but Bon Bon…” She noticed the guard’s condescending expression. “Actually, nevermind. They were accused of some small shi– I mean small things, like having sex in public, murder…”

“Oh, I know that case,” he replied. “Luckily for them, it figures that they didn’t kill the cabbie. Also, the filly they allegedly kidnapped is at home, preparing her cute-ceanera. That still leaves public indecency, vandalism, stealing a cab and–” Suddenly he froze when he saw Berry and Octavia entering the room. “You…” he said.

“Yes, me,” Berry replied coldly. Vinyl looked at her, then at the guard. Then back at Berry and again at the guard. Some rusty gears started to move in her head. Out of the blue she remembered that Berry’s daughter was a unicorn.

“Oh, I didn’t recognize you…” she said to the guard. “You must be Mr. Faster-Than-Light! Berry told us lots of things about you! Like, really nice things…” Despite her best attempts, the temperature in the room continued to drop. The silence was getting really awkward and Berry finally decided to break it.

“Vinyl,” she spat with disdain. “Did your mane catch fire when you were a foal and your dad tried to quench it with a shovel?”

“No, it was my mom. Why are you asking?”

“How the actual fuck could you think my ex-husband’s name was Faster-Than-Light?”

“Umm… because you’re calling him like that all the time?” By the “I will kill you slowly” look in Berry’s eyes Vinyl deduced that it was wrong answer. “Because we live in a country where you can call your child Filthy Rich and no one says anything about that? Hell, poor Bon Bon doesn’t even have a surname!”

“Vinyl… two words: shut the fuck up…”

“These are four words…” Berry’s ex-husband, whose name definitely wasn’t Faster-Than-Light, corrected.

“Shut up! And you were wondering why I left you…”

“Could anypony tell me what’s Bon Bon’s surname? I won’t be able to sleep at night if I don’t know that…”

“Her surname is ‘Bon’,” Octavia explained. “First ‘Bon’ is her name, while the second is her surname.” Behind her, Berry and her ex-husband were arguing whether ‘the’ was a word or not. A moment later, their argument was about the source of the “Faster-Than-Light” nickname. The guard wasn’t very pleased when Berry told him.

Vinyl nodded. However, she had one more question.

“Excuse me,” she said to Berry’s ex-husband. “If your name’s not ‘Faster-Than-Light’, then what your name is?”

“Sucker Punch,” he deadpanned.

“Wait,” Vinyl turned to Berry. “You still use your husband’s surname?”

“Of course not!” Berry exclaimed. “I returned to my maiden name, which happens to be ‘Punch’...”

Vinyl grinned mischievously. “And you were trying to tell my that I’m into incest…”

“It’s not incest! We’re not a family!”

“Yeah, right… How many Punches are in Equestria? I bet you’re cousins…”

“I can give you enough punches to break all your bones… And I guess Sucker will also throw you some for a good measure.”

“Oh come on… his name is really Sucker? That’s a lame name if you ask me...”

“Heartstrings! Bon! You have a new friend!”

The door to the cell opened and Vinyl was pushed inside. She looked at Lyra and Bon Bon and smiled sheepishly.

“Hi, girls,” she said.

“Let me guess,” Bon Bon muttered, sitting on the bunk bed and watching Vinyl carefully. “It wasn’t your fault?”

“Totally not,” Vinyl replied. “One of the guards is Berry’s ex-husband. Things kinda escalated from there.”

“Of course,” Bon Bon deadpanned. “Then why she’s still free while you’re in prison?”

Vinyl flipped her mane and sat on the bed next to her.

“I may or may not have implied that their relationship was incestuous…” she said. “But she started it. She kept telling me that I had sex with my brother–”

“You did?” Lyra asked. Her ears perked up. “So, that’s what this noise came from!”

“What noise?” Vinyl’s cheeks suddenly became red. “I didn’t make any noises…”

“Yeah, right… You were squealing like Bonnie when I brought that huge, black, spiked–”

“Lyra, please…” Bon Bon facehoofed. “It’s not something you discuss with other ponies…”

“Says the pony who had sex on the top of the Statue of Liberty,” Vinyl giggled. “How it was by the way? I always wanted to try, but I’ve never had an occasion.”

“Best night ever,” Lyra said. Bon Bon decided that facehoof wasn’t enough and hit her head against the wall. The brick fell off, revealing a rusty spoon hidden behind it.

“Oh, come on, Bonnie…” Lyra patted her marefriend’s head. “I’ve been with Vinyl before, we are kinda open in that matter. Like, she also passed the test with a huge, black, spiked–”

“I’d rather not have that mental image in my head, thank you,” Bon Bon interrupted her. All she wanted now was to change the topic of this conversation. “Before you got yourself arrested, did they say something about the bail?”

“And did your brother fuck you?” Lyra asked innocently. She wasn’t the pony who’d get drifted off the topic easily. “If I had a brother, I’d totally do him… How about you, Bonnie?”

“I’d like you remind you that my sister is sixteen… And no, I’m not attracted to her in any way.”

“Too bad. She’s cute. And adorkable.”

“I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that. And that it didn’t sound creepy at all. How about getting us out of there, Vinyl?”

“Well, you’re only charged with assaulting a guard, stealing a taxi, public indecency, and vandalism. The filly you foalnapped is at home, preparing for her cute-ceanera.”

“We didn’t foalnap a filly…” Bon Bon was tired of explaining that to anypony. Yet, deep inside her soul she also wanted to hear the story of Vinyl’s relationship with her brother. She didn’t care about the fact that Vinyl was also tired of explaining that to anypony. Talk about double standards.

“Is her cutie mark a toaster?” Lyra asked.

“I have no idea. I’ve never met her, you know. Was she hot?”

“I’m not into fillies, especially the ones who called me a spinster,” Bon Bon replied.

“I don’t know…” Lyra said. “The closest I got to her was when my whole tail got covered in her piss.”

“Kinky,” Vinyl commented while Bon Bon covered her mouth with her hoof. Weird, considering the fact that she had witnessed that, but Bon Bon was one of those ponies who could watch almost anything, yet hearing about it made them sick. Vinyl was on the other side of the spectrum: at home, she had a special calendar with a fetish for each day. After ‘vore day’ Octavia wanted to move out.

“Okay, fillies aside, we have a problem,” Vinyl said. “Berry and Octavia have money only to bail two of us. Currently, they’re considering various options.”

“Octavia and Berry? Then you have a problem,” Bon Bon deadpanned.

“Not since I gave Octy an orgasm of her life yesterday,” Vinyl replied. Then she sat back on the bed, watching her fellow inmates’ shocked expressions. “Also, Berry thinks you two are a bunch of fillynappers, so she has a hard time deciding who of us to free…”

A restaurant table was littered with papers. Berry tossed the pencil aside, drank some coffee from the cup next to her and looked at Octavia.

“Well, according to my calculations, they won’t get too big sentences… Vinyl’s too smart for that,” she said. “How about yours?”

“With our money, we can ditch them, go to Las Pegasus and we’ll have some money left to waste in the casino…” Octavia replied.

“Hmm, Pinch will be on vacation for one more week… We can totally go there.”

“Still, it doesn’t feel right… We can’t leave them here like that…”

“Oh, come on!” Berry rolled her eyes. “We’ll go to Las Pegasus, win some money and then we’ll be able to bail all three of them.”

Octavia sighed and took a sip of her tea – third one this morning. She was from Trottingham, after all.

“I wouldn’t feel good in Las Pegasus without Vinyl… It’d be much funnier with her…”

“Your definition of ‘fun’ is surprising…” Berry replied. She knew that being with the hyperactive DJ in place such as Las Pegasus would end up in total humiliation. They’d end up getting thrown out of the casino, vomiting on the pavement and waking up in one bed in some dirty hotel room. That didn’t fit to Octavia, but Berry…

“Yes, we must definitely bail Vinyl out. Then we can go to Las Pegasus.”

“How about Lyra and Bon Bon?” Octavia asked.

“We can bail Lyra. Bon Bon can’t drink, play poker, and she’s always sarcastic.”

“Yeah, because you’re totally not sarcastic…”

“Said the daughter of some upper-class twits from Trottingham. Sarcasm is your first language…”

“I come from working class…” Octavia blushed.

“Oh, come on… Reverse snobbery now? Due to a certain accident involving love poison and Apple Bloom I now live next to Carousel Boutique, I can recognize a fake fancy accent when I hear one…”

“Are ya sure? I’ve been learnin’ it for years. Since I got me cello, I’ve decided vat I’ll be like one of ‘em upper class twits as ya called ‘em.”

“I can recognize a fake non-fancy accent either,” Berry deadpanned.

“I ain’t no cheatin’ ya… Okay, I do. I kind of wanted to show my parents that I’m not like them. That’s why I moved to Ponyville and–”

“–started to live with Vinyl? Well, that’s a sacrifice…”

“Vinyl’s not that bad. At least she does the shopping and flushes the toilet.”

“Good to know that she got the basics… How about… umm… weird stuff? Like, Vinyl level of weird?”

“Oh, I got used to it. Really, she’s not that bad once you get used to her leaving pornographic newspapers everywhere, sleeping at random times of day…”

“Yeah, right… My cousin is kinda similar. Maybe you know her… Her name is Cherry Berry.”

Octavia thought for a moment, trying to recall the name.

“She’s the one who likes balloons, right?” she asked.

“Balloons, helicopters… Definitely she thinks ‘earth’ in ‘earth ponies’ isn’t something that would limit her. You know, she once crashed that absurd helicopter of hers… Since then she has a titanium implant in the skull… And she’s even weirder than before. She wanted me to help her build the alcohol-powered aircraft…”

“Did it work?” Octavia asked. She knew that the primary reason why Berry liked to hang out with Vinyl was because she seemed normal in comparison.

“Not really. I drank the whole fuel. If we ever managed to take off, I don’t remember it…”

Octavia decided not to tell her about that memorable day in Ponyville history when Berry and her cousin became the first earth ponies to reach Mach 1. Cherry Berry probably didn’t know about that either – due to numerous crashes, her short-term memory was as reliable as some of her flying machines. In fact, she was recently making more money as a test subject in various neurology research programs than as an engineer.

“Couldn’t Cherry take us to Las Pegasus? We could go there, win enough money to bail all three of them and go back in one day.”

“If you really want to get a concussion…”

Octavia thought for a moment before finally resigning from this plan. Playing cello was difficult enough even without brain damage, and the chance of winning was too small to take a risk.

“Okay, let’s go and bail Vinyl and Lyra. Bon Bon can wait.”

“What’ll her sister say?” Berry asked. “She’s one of those kids who ask too many questions… Besides, I don’t wanna wake up one day with a death ray shoved up my flank...”

“Oh, come on. Twist doesn’t construct death rays…” Octavia replied.

“No?”

“No. She’d poison you with a candy. And then she’d apologize and smile adorkably at the jury so long that nopony would find her guilty…” Octavia said.

“Crap… So, maybe we should bail Bon Bon? Too bad none of our friends reaches Twist level of adorkableness...”

“Hey, I’m quite close,” Lyra said, walking in. Berry Punch choked on her coffee.

“You!” she shouted when she managed to cough it out. “How did you get out of jail?”

“Vinyl offered a blowjob to every guard in the station if they set us free,” Lyra replied and looked at Berry and Octavia, expecting them to look surprised. They didn’t.

“How long before she’s done?” Octavia asked. “We have a train to catch…”

Lyra rolled her eyes. “I said she offered that, not that they accepted. But then Bon Bon remembered that she knows a good lawyer and called him.”

“What lawyer?” Octavia asked. She knew a few lawyers personally. They were all heavy drunks and had a sick sense of humour, but still they were more well-behaved than, for example, doctors. Octavia knew a few doctors too. They had even sicker sense of humour and liked to swear when the patients weren’t around. But they were still nothing when compared to nurses.

“Hmm… Do you remember that guy who murdered seven ponies with an axe, burned down two houses and pissed off Twilight Sparkle by not giving back a book from the library in time?”

“Yes…” Octavia replied unsurely. In fact, she had every article about the pony in question in her scrapbook. Reading about murders was helping her in composing.

“It’s his lawyer. You know, the one who convinced the jury that all of this guy’s mental problems were caused by the fact that he had to go up the hill to get to school.”

“And what did he do in your case?” Berry asked.

“He talked with a few ponies and they set us free. For example, he proved that our indecency was public only because there are cameras on the Statue of Liberty... Vinyl and I have to find a support group for anonymous sexoholics and Bon Bon has to go to an assertiveness training…” Lyra explained.

“Hmm, I’ve heard Iron Will will come to Ponyville soon,” Berry said.

“And we’ll have to do some community service… He told us that he can get us out of it, but we didn’t agree… After all, we did some bad things tonight…”

“Yeah, some…” Berry muttered. “Is there any catch?”

“One. We don’t have money to pay him… And he refused Vinyl’s offer to pay him, umm… you know how.”

“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart,” Octavia said. “We didn’t have to bail you, so we have money… How much do you need?”

Lyra told her. At first Octavia just stared at her blankly, before finally articulating a long and complicated bunch of words commonly considered inappropriate to use, especially in presence of young fillies.

“So…” Berry muttered. “I guess I’ll call Cherry Berry…”

The four turboprop engines powering contra-rotating propellers were making lots of noise. Berry Punch was trying to focus, as she was about to make one of the most important decisions in her life. Too bad, her own cousin, a pink mare with a yellow mane wasn’t helping her.

“Fasten yer seatbelts and *hic* light yer cigarettes… or whatever...” Cherry Berry exclaimed. She took a sip from the bottle she was holding and grabbed the stick with both her hooves. “Soon, we’ll be in *hic* Fillydelphia!”

“Las Pegasus,” Berry deadpanned. “It’s Las Pegasus.”

“Of course, Pinot Noir.” Cherry Berry laughed to herself. She just had to make a sharp turn to dodge the group of pegasi flying in another direction. She wasn’t sure of many things since she had left hospital with a titanium implant in her skull, but she knew one thing for sure: a pegasus and a contra-rotating propeller meant trouble. And lots of cleaning.

“It’s ‘Berry Punch’, you drunk moron…” Berry sighed.

“You know?” Vinyl said. “One can guess easily that you two are a family…”

“One more word and I’ll take care of your parachute…” Berry looked at the board in front of her, then at the cards she was holding. Also, I’m buying Manehattan.”

“That’ll be 160 bits,” Octavia said. She was a banker in every Monopony game they were playing. Unlike Vinyl, she was able to count the money and, unlike Lyra, she could resist the temptation to rob the bank when nopony was watching.

“Can I buy it from you?” Vinyl asked Berry.

“No.”

“But I already have Baltimare and Las Pegasus!” Vinyl exclaimed, banging her hoof against the floor. Some piece of the machine fell off. Fortunately, it wasn't really important.

“That’s why I won’t let you have it. Last thing I need are your hotels here…”

“Watch out, turbulence!” Cherry Berry shouted from the cockpit. They braced themselves, but nothing happened.

“False alarm,” Berry said. “She’s always like that.”

“Five hundred bits,” Vinyl offered. “And I can give you Appleloosa.”

“Take those bits and put them where the Sun doesn’t shine. I took Manehattan and I’m not gonna give it to you.”

“May I?” Bon Bon asked and took the dice. She threw them and moved her piece. “Hmm, Trottingham…”

“I already own it,” Berry said. “I even have a hotel there.”

“Friggin’ capitalist…” Vinyl muttered.

“Said the pony who owns Canterlot and Cloudsdale…” Lyra deadpanned. Due to some unfortunate throws in the last few turns, she was now almost bankrupt.

Suddenly, Cherry Berry’s flying machine started to shake. Vinyl screamed in fear and hugged Berry, simultaneously stealing Manehattan card from her.

“Told ya!” Cherry Berry shouted from the cockpit. “Remember not to throw your fellow passengers outta window. Not to mention the pilot. We’ll be in Hoofington in no time!”

“I have a feeling that she knows you better than the map of Equestria…” Octavia said to Berry who was now trying to strangle Vinyl.

“Yeah…” Berry replied, taking the dice while Lyra and Bon Bon were putting the hotels which had collapsed during the turbulence back on the board. “Hmm, it seems that I’m going to jail…”

One of the props made a weird sound. Everypony froze but it didn’t seem that the machine was going to fall apart soon.

“What was that?” Berry asked unsurely.

“We hit a bird!” Cherry Berry replied. “Though… a bird with saddlebags is a rare thing I think…” She chuckled.

“I have a feeling that we’ll need a lawyer again before we get to Las Pegasus… Or wherever we are flying…” Octavia said, looking through the window unsurely.

“Don’t worry,” Berry looked at the Monopony board in front of her, then at her cards and money. “As long as Vinyl doesn’t own Manehattan, everything is okay…”

The weird-looking-flying-whatever-thingy (it was its official name; Cherry Berry was a good pilot, but she wasn’t good in inventing names) headed into the sunset. In fact, it was supposed to go more to the south, but Cherry Berry thought that ‘navigation’ was a name of some kind of a foreign cheese. Besides, she liked to read and she knew well that every good story should end with main characters riding (or, in this case, flying) into the sunset after fulfilling their goals. The goals were fulfilled. Not that they were very complicated to begin with:

Vinyl managed to have sex with Octavia.

Octavia managed to have sex with Vinyl’s brother.

Lyra and Bon Bon managed to have sex on the top of the Statue of Liberty.

Berry Punch managed to take Manehattan and was on a good way to win the game of Monopony. Not that Vinyl was an especially challenging opponent.

Meanwhile, in Ponyville, Twist and Silver Spoon managed to accidentally discover cold fusion. This discovery would later revolutionise Equestria and turn the turboprop engines used in weird-looking-flying-whatever-thingy obsolete. Cherry Berry didn’t know that, but even if she knew, she wouldn’t mind. She was in the air with her cousin, her friends and a bottle of booze that could be used as an emergency fuel, and it was the most important for her. It was as important as helping Berry Punch to wrap up the story of her taking Manehattan, and much more important than getting to the airport.

Las Pegasus could wait.