Time seems to have flown by

Joker looked at the two representatives from Equestria’s best flying force, Spitfire and Soarin were evaluating him with mild skepticism written on their faces. Joker didn’t really blame them; if someone had come onto the Normandy and told him how to do his job he would have given them more than just skepticism. With Celestia in Ponyville dealing with the enemy army and figuring out what they’re next move Luna was in charge in Canterlot, and one of her first directives was for Joker to take two of the leading members of the Wonderbolts aside and teach them how to fly during a war.

“So you’re Joker, I’m Spitfire the leader of the Wonderbolts.” The fiery haired pegasus said offering him her hoof to shake, Joker shook it a little self-consciously. “Princess Luna told us that you know a lot about dogfighting, would you care to give us some pointers?” She asked, she wasn’t unkind just skeptical that the boring looking brown pegasus could share anything that she didn’t already know. Joker smiled, during his time in Equestria he had learned how to use his new body very well and he was confident that his days as a pilot wouldn’t be put to waste.

“Sure, what would you like to know about?” He replied confidently

“I was wondering how you attack and kill an enemy who has mass far superior to your own and has natural weapons that outrank your own by a reasonable margin.” Spitfire replied, Joker could tell that this was a test, any real flyer knew the answer whether they were in ships or flying with wings.

“It’s simple if you know what you’re doing…” He told her “…you use your smaller size to maneuver around the enemy’s attacks and slowly chip away at them, eventually they’ll tire and you can go in for the kill.” Spitfire nodded, it was the answer that she’d wanted to hear.

“What do you think Soarin?” She asked her lieutenant.

“I think that he at least deserves our attention, even if the answer is obvious.” Soarin replied giving Joker another look over.

“That’s what I was thinking; he at least seems to know the basics of aerial combat.” Spitfire said.

“Before we go any farther I need to know what you know too, what is the best way to approach your enemy when you’re flying?” Joker asked Spitfire and Soarin exchanged a glance.

“Head on before they have time to notice you’re there.” Soarin said, Joker sighed.

“Alright, that’s the way that you get shot in the face, do you have a better answer Spitfire?” Joker asked her.

“From below where they can’t see you coming and you can exploit their limited eyesight.” Spitfire volunteered, Joker looked at them in shock.

“Actually that’s a good way to get shot in the face too, to answer the question successfully I’m going to demonstrate. Soarin I want you to fly around up there by that large cumulus formation.” Joker said pointing towards a large cloud bank “I want you to be scanning the sky around you for me, after a minute or two I’ll demonstrate the proper technique.” Joker said, looking vaguely puzzled Soarin took off and began to fly in a circle looking around for Joker. “Spitfire follow me.” Joker said as he took off and flew off outside of Soarin’s view.

“So where are we going to strike from?” Spitfire asked once they had attained a reasonable distance, Joker flashed her a smile.

“Ever heard of death from above?” Spitfire shook her head “It’s an old saying and strategy where I come from, let’s demonstrate.” Joker now flew higher till he was far above where Soarin was flying looking for him. Once he was at a perfect angle he started his decent as he fell he gained more and more speed till he was just a muddy blur shooting across the sky. He was approaching Soarin who still hadn’t noticed him rapidly, twenty seconds before impact joker yelled. “Cowabunga!” Soarin looked up just in time to be blinded by the sun as Joker slammed into him sending him flying into a cloudbank. Several minutes later Soarin reappeared looking no worse for wear but he had a distinct black hoofmark growing around his left eye.

“That was incredible, I had no idea that you were there until you shouted and then I got blinded by the sun!” he said rubbing his eye absently.

“That’s the whole idea, when you’re fighting in the air you always want the high ground, now if I’d had a gun I could have killed you without you even knowing I was there. If you are forced into a physical confrontation like I was you want to catch them by surprise, I gave you the warning because I wanted to prove a second point. You always want to have the sun at your back, always, with it behind you don’t have to worry about being blinded and if your enemy does happen to notice you it’ll buy you a few seconds as he recovers from the glare.” Joker was surprised at how easily he entered lecture mode, his former professors’ mouths would have been openly gaping. ‘This’ Joker decided was going to be fun

***

Celestia looked at the group of ponies before her, Shepard’s crew were seated around him sitting in various states of relaxation, Twilight and her friends by comparison were almost sitting at attention. Celestia sighed inwardly; Twilight could never learn to relax around her.

“Alright as you all know Equestria has recently come under attack from the organization known as Cerberus, Shepard has already filled you in on the details as far they are concerned so I’ll skip over it. Our intelligence agents have reportedly located the major Cerberus base, unfortunately it is all the way across the griffin lands and there will be no rapid way to transport you there so you’re going to have to walk.” Celestia heard several groans but carried on “There is another issue as well.”

“What is it Princess?” Twilight asked her mentor in concern

“There are some maters that must be attended to that neither I nor any of my troops can complete without raising far too many eyebrows. Because of this Shepard is to travel across the griffin lands in the company of three of his crew and three of you.” She said turning to Twilight and her friends. “The rest of you are needed here on the home front to provide support and advice. Twilight and her friends exchanged looks, as did Shepard’s crew.

“Garrus, Tali, Thane, you’re with me.” Shepard said immediately, they nodded. “Ash because you technically outrank me and have more experience with strategy you stay here and offer advice to the Princess.” Ash looked pained but nodded “As for everypony else I’ll leave it to Celestia to assign you.” Shepard told his crew, James rolled his eyes; he was going to get stuck with guard duty again. The process for Twilight’s group took much longer.

“All right girls, who besides me is going with Shepard?” Twilight asked her friends.

“Ah think I should Twi, I’m handy in a fight” AJ volunteered, drawing laughter from Dash.

“Which part, the part where you spend the entire time hiding, or the part where you miss every shot that you fire?” Dash asked her after she was done laughing, AJ snorted indignantly.

“What makes yall think you’re more qualified?” AJ retorted angrily.

“Well let’s see, I’m the best flyer in Equestria, I can perform the Sonic Rainboom, I have an ancient Paladin living in my head giving me advice, and I can outshoot you any day of the week.” Dash finished arrogantly.

“Rainbow I already included you, for all of those reasons except for the last one, who else is coming?” Twilight asked simultaneously ending the argument.

“I would like to.” Fluttershy said drawing startled glances from her friends.

“But Fluttershy you got your revenge, why would you still want to fight these ruffians?” Rarity asked the yellow pegasus.

“Because nopony attacks my town and gets away with it” Fluttershy said “And because I go where Dash goes.”

“Look Sugarcube, we understand you wantin to spend more time with your marefriend, but I don think that you’re up for a long term mission like this.” AJ told her sympathetically.

“AJ I’ll be fine, I can hold my own, I can outstare a dragon, besides with two sets of wings scouting will be easier and I can provide melee support.” Fluttershy said moving her sword more prominently into view.

“Princess what do you think?” Twilight asked her master hoping to end the argument early.

“I would have to say Fluttershy; she makes very good points, besides you never know when you might need a good swordsmare around.” Celestia answered Rarity and AJ exchanged vexed looks but said nothing. “Alright now that that’s settled let’s discuss this journey that Shepard and his party are going to be going on. I can arrange passports that will enable you to get into the Griffin Land; these passports will also keep the griffin soldiers from asking questions if you show them to them. After you enter the Griffin Land you need to head north until you bump up against the land of the dragons, once there follow the map that I’m sending with you to find the location of the Cerberus base. Once there kill the Illusive Man and end this whole war.”

“When do we have to leave Celestia?” Shepard asked the monarch, his eyes drifting across his crew and finally settling on Ash, Celestia smiled at the look on his face, she understood his feelings.

“Don’t worry Shepard you can leave tomorrow afternoon when the train gets here to take you on the first step of your journey.” Celestia told him with a soft chuckle at the relived look on his face. “You’re all free to go; I’ll send Arsenal for you when it’s time for you to be at the train station.” With that she inclined her head and they began to flow out of the briefing room, except for Twilight who naturally stayed to talk to her mentor.

“Are there any things that are for my ears only Princess?” Twilight asked Celestia nodded.

“Like I told you earlier that book that Pinkie gave you is of incredible value whatever you do, do not under any circumstances let it fall into the enemies hooves. The events that followed would be so gut wrenchingly terrible that a Pan Galactic Gargleblaster would barely ease your worries. I can’t stress the point enough,DO NOT LOSE THAT BOOK!” Twilight nodded, she understood the severity of what the princess had just told her, she also made a mental note to look up whatever a Pan Galactic Gargleblaster was.

“I won’t fail you Princess, I promise that I will destroy the book before I let it fall into enemy hooves.” Twilight replied seriously, Celestia calmed down once she saw that she had gotten her point across clearly.

“Sorry Twilight I didn’t mean to do that but on to topic number two, I want you to watch Shepard. I don’t think that he’s secretly evil or any such nonsense but he doesn’t know the costumes of anypony and I don’t want any more diplomatic incidents to deal with.” Twilight nodded.

“I’ll keep him out of trouble Princess you can count on me!” Celestia smiled at Twilight’s exuberance.

“I know you will my little pony, now you should probably go and keep Fluttershy from decapitating Apple Jack while she defends Rainbow Dash.” Celestia replied just as Twilight heard the sounds of her friends raised voices.

“Get over here you rainbow haired braggart and let ma show yall what ah do to ponies who insult me.” Came AJ’s voice from outside, Twilight ran out to find AJ and Dash circling each other, standing in-between them with her hoof on the hilt of her sword was Fluttershy. “Fluttershy yall get out of ma way this is between the two of us!” AJ told Fluttershy.

“Yeah Fluttershy I don’t need you to defend me, not that I’m not glad that you’re willing to.” Dash said her voice softening at the end.

“No you’re both being stupid, AJ what Dash said was arrogant and she really shouldn’t have said it, but you’re the Element of Honesty and you know she wasn’t lying which is why you’re letting this get to you. Instead of trying to threaten Dash why don’t you ask one of Shepard’s crew to show you how to effectively use your weapons?” Fluttershy said her voice was calm and friendly; it was actually surprisingly close to the way that Fluttershy used to talk before she became a Paladin although it lacked the usual stutter.

“No she’s wrong I’m not useless!” AJ said her voice sounded desperate.

“I never said your were AJ, I just said that I was better suited for the mission!” Dash said in exasperation. “Fine I’ll admit that it came out wrong but that’s my personality and you know it!” Dash continued, as Dash’s words washed over Apple Jack her grimace began to vanish, suddenly she shook her head as if to clear it.

“I’m sorry Dash, ah think that the Paladin in me reared its head and I couldn’t help maself.” AJ said Dash shrugged.

“Don’t worry about it, the only reason that I’m not insane at this point is Shika, which could technically be used as a counter argument, but you know what I’m trying to say.” She finished lamely getting a smile out of AJ, Twilight sighed happily, her friends were still her friends no matter what had been done to them.

***

With her sister out with the army Luna had been left with the duty of delegating the royal affairs in her absence, she currently sat on the throne of Canterlot flanked by her two guards who stood like statues beside her. Luna however knew from long experience that the guard on her right must have been laughing his flank off inside his head. Luna herself was having trouble keeping from snickering herself at the ridiculousness of the request that had just been presented to her.

“So let me go over this again just to make sure that I understand exactly what you’re asking of me…” Luna said looking down at the arrogant stallion before her “…You want me to appoint you Knight Captain of the Palace Guard until my sister and Arsenal get back, did I get that right?” she asked him, she somehow managed to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

“Yes that is correct, I’m a prince after all I should command the guards directly.” Prince Blueblood said in an arrogant voice, it was dripping with class to the point that Luna felt that she would need a bath after speaking to him.

“And you have completed the required military service to be qualified for the position, correct?” Luna asked him, he seemed to be oblivious to where she was going with this.

“Why no, why would I ever wish to go through military service, I could get dirty or possibly even muddy!” Blueblood said in shock, Luna briefly considered throwing him into the sun, but thought better of it, Tia probably wouldn’t appreciate the new hole in the ceiling.

“So you expect to be able to command the guards directly and efficiently after never having served a day in your life, I’m only asking so that I have a firm grasp of the situation.” Luna replied.

“Of course as a prince I’m automatically much smarter and more capable than the average guard.” Blueblood answered, Luna exchanged secret glances with her two favorite guards.

“Well then it is only fair that you prove your tactical mastery by defeating one of my guards, this will cement your role as Knight Captain.” Luna told him “Saber here would be happy to allow you the honor of proving yourself against him.” She nodded towards her guard on her left.

“Very well I will agree to this challenge!” Blueblood replied arrogantly stepping forward, Luna whispered to Saber.

“Don’t kill him; Tia doesn’t like blood stains getting on the carpet.” Saber nodded before he stepped forward to face Blueblood who snorted disdainfully.

“Un guard!” Blueblood said and he charged forward towards Saber who sidestepped and delivered a powerful buck to Blueblood’s face sending him rolling across the floor till he wound up in a heap. “You hit me!” Blueblood exclaimed in pain “You impudent fool I’ll have you hanged for your assault on the royal ponysonage!” Saber turned to Luna and raised an eyebrow.

“Blueblood you challenged him to a duel, now you need to accept the consequences, also don’t threaten to hang my guards…it will end badly for you…” Luna trailed off but made it incredibly clear what she meant. Blueblood was shocked; it appeared that he had finally seen the corner that he’d backed himself into. The following ten minutes consisted of one of the most hilariously one-sided fights that Luna had ever seen. As Blueblood was led away by one of the court physicians her other guard Arrow leaned over and whispered just loud enough to be heard by every pony in the room.

“I thought that his blood was supposed to be blue.” Luna cracked up for a few seconds before she turned back to court who were all quietly laughing at Anvil’s joke.

“I think that that calls about the end of my meetings today, unless somepony has something urgent to report of course.” Luna said, a couple of the court thought about it for a second before shaking their heads and leaving the room. Once the throne room was empty Luna sighed. “Why did I ever want this job?” She asked herself, her two guards who just shook their heads.

AN, Loose ends

Time to explain some things that I thought would be too odd to explain in the story. I’ll start with this chapter; the Wonderbolts are emergency responders and showmen. This means that although they are the best flyers in Equestria they don’t really know what they’re doing combat wise which is why they fail during any emergency. On to other things, time moves differently in Equestria compared to how it does in Mass Effect reality which is why Anderson is Captain of the guards along with how the others know what they’re doing. When Kaidan mentioned the others coming late when I was introducing them he meant that he’d been here for around ten years, the others have been here for around five. I’m sure there’s more that I missed, just post a comment with the question and I’ll answer anything that I don’t want to come into major importance later, oh and on a side note it’s good to be back.

Next Chapter: The veil is lifted…maybe Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 22 Minutes