I swung my sword a little, trying to get a handle on it. It was heavier than it looked, but the weight meant this thing would chop anything apart in one go. It struck me as strange for ponies to have a sword, but of all the people, the bats would be the ones. I gave it a few more practice swings as I walked towards the castle.

Moon Light was waiting near the steps up. "Hello, korssa."

"God damn it! Stop trying to rape me!" I snapped at her, rubbing my ear. "It's like your tongue's in my damn ear."

Light made a kissy face and nipped at the air. "I can make that happen for you. You might not survive the ordeal, but I promise it will be better than dying to a Dracko."

I shook my head, almost bumping into a bat that was going with me. "I'm not gonna-- Wait, were you gonna kill me!?"

Light rolled her head slowly left and right. "Perhaps...perhaps not. You're a new creature, you have potential, not spoiled like the ponies that came before, the griffons that tried to fight. You, have a chance. Or, if you die, we will eat well for a while."

I just stared at her with a face full of horror. "That's not funny!"

"Who said I was joking, krossa--"

"Ben, my name is Ben, say Ben."

"Ben."

"Say, Ben please go save the princess."

"Wha--"

"Just say it!"

Light shook her head hard. "No."

"Fucking say it!" I snapped, shouting at her.

"Ben, ori preisa" She smiled cheekily. "Oh, I'm sorry. My Equs is rather lacking at time."

"Times," I corrected. "But good enough!" I started up towards the looming castle above. "Quick question. It's just one, right?"

Light shook her head. "Virrak, rikval Dracko?"

The bat to my right scratched his head. "I-too, I-ver, ferduk I-val"

"He thinks there should only be five left, maybe less."

I let out a despondent sigh. "Well...if I die, tell my wife- girl- tell Foxglove I made out with another mare. Oh...and that I love her." I started off towards the castle, rain suddenly pouring down as we walked. I looked up, finding two bats laughing on a cloud. "Yeah, thanks!" I turned to one of the armed bats by my side. "You don't--"

"Neh drogga Equs." He stated calmly, shaking his head.

"Great...." I walked up the steps with my foreign companions. "Why the hell am I even doing this? Foxglove just--" I stopped myself. My paranoia wasn't going to help and I could interrogate her later. I focused on the slippery black steps as my little gang marched up to the dark castle doors. They were rotted away and shredded along the lock.

I felt a twinge of nervousness as I walked up and past the doors. "Arder vis--" The bat to my left stopped dead. "Dracko."

I looked around, slowly stepping across the broken stone floor. "So...how big are these things-- Why the hell am I even asking you!?"

"I...speak, Equs. Not good, but speak." A bat shot back, walking ahead of me. "We, here stay. Keep safe exit."

"Wait, so you just came to watch!? Assholes!" I yelped nervously. "Fine!"

I marched with mock confidence, walking up down to the far end of the entry and down a hall. I spotted one of the creatures looking at me and froze. It was about pony height. I felt horrendously nervous as the creature skulked over, eyes twitching and hunched over posture rather terrifying.

It was a thin beast, skinny limbs with dense muscles moving behind the creature's thing snake like skin. I got into position as the creature got within a few feet. "Come on then you fuck...I...got...." I slowly lowered my posture as the creature walked up to me. "Uh...hello- hey!" The creature shoved me into a wall and walked past. "What the hell?" I lowered my sword, letting it clank against the floor. "What the hell am I, not good enough for you!?"

The Dracko walked into the main hall and found the two bats. They got into position as the Dracko started running at them. "Krossa, help!?" The two ponies brought spears to bear against the creature, only managing to keep it back a few paces. "Help!?"

I let out a short sigh and pulled the sword over my head. I ran over, yelling like an idiot, "Aaaaaaauh!" I pulled the sword down, slashing the lizard across the back. The creature let out a sharp howl. "Shut up!" I stepped back, getting a bit of room to gather momentum and, with a final thrust, jammed the sword through the creatures gut. "Next time don't ignore me!" I pulled back, letting the creature fall into a heap. "Jackass!"

The bats took a deep breath as the backed into a wall. "I-vek" He licked his lips and adjusted his forelegs. "They come."

A shrill squeal broke out above the jostling metal of our weapons. I looked at one of the bats, holding a spear limply. "Hey, give me that!" I yanked it from his grip and dropped the sword. "Please work, please work, please work!" I chanted to myself as I went to the hall the first had came from, bracing the spear like a stake in the ground.

I called upon all those days I'd spent watching documentaries, all those days playing games, latent knowledge collected over a lifetime of archaic studies.

I lodged the back of the spear in the broken floor and aimed the head at about gut height. "Come on- come on- come on!" I yelled to myself as another of the creatures spotted me. This one seemed a bit more interested, running at me. I held on tight, lowering the spear slightly and waiting. "Don't die, Ben, not like this." I said to myself, bracing for impact.

The creature tried to force the spear back, impaling itself as the handle of the spear jammed against the stonework. A sickeningly organic noise filled the air as the creature slowly slid down ,snarling and hissing as it fell against me, the spear lodge through its gut.

"Oh god- oh god- oooh." I cringed hard as the creature slumped against my shoulder. It felt disgusting, a large bleeding lizard limp against me. I let the spear go, shoving the creature aside and pressing my back against the adjacent wall. "Ha! Eat it!"

"More!" A bat yelped, rushing to my side. "More more more!" He tossed me my sword. "They come!"

I got back into position as an even higher pitched scream rang out. Three more smaller ones rushed the hall. I swallowed hard as the miniature creatures ran at us. "Are these...they seem a little, small--" I stopped as the mini beast jumped and latched onto my leg. A pair of curved fangs sank deep into my calf. "Holy shit!" My leg started burning immediately.

I reeled my sword up, hacking at the evil little bastards. They didn't put up much of a fight, but something felt wrong as I stomped the one on my leg. "God- damn--"

A loud, bassy roar came from the hall. I started feeling woozy, my brain swimming in muck as I spotted a large Dracko clawing down the hall. I backed up, joining the others in the main entry.

How did I get myself into this!? I was supposed to take care of babies, not risk my life for some crappy stonework. I wanna go home, I wanna take a nap.

My brain went haywire as the last of them burst into the main hall, running over to me and grabbing my by the head. I felt myself lift off the ground, dangling by my neck and trying to keep from dying. I flailed and kicked, striking the creature in the soft stomach. I kept kicking the creature as it slowly crushed me.

My poisoned mind slowly lost function as the creature increased the pressure. I started fading away as the creature's eyes went to pinpricks. I closed my eyes, feeling my head slam against the floor. I let go, slipping away as my senses deadened.

Time stood still as I drifted into a black haze.

I simply floated away, my mind clearing as the darkness encroached.

"Ben, awaken." A royal voice boomed, snapping my eyes open and revealing a pure white room. I looked around, watching as Luna materialized from the white fog. "Benjamin, hello!"

"Uh...hi." I stood up. "I uh...am I dead?"

"Hardly. But first, I believe this is the first time we've spoken." She bowed softly. "A pleasure, Count Wesk."

I looked around and bowed in turn. "Yeah...a pleasure. But where are we?"

Luna let out a short grumble. "How to explain, you're not asleep. You were relived of consciousness, and generally speaking, their minds don't dream." She stood tall. "But, I felt a talk was necessary."

I looked around the endless white fog. "Alright...so...it's about Transylmania?"

"Indeed." Luna curled her legs under her and settled in. "Join me."

I complied sitting cross legged next to her. "It's kinda nice in here, quiet."

"Indeed. Now, I expect next time you wish to travel to a foreign land, you will consult me first."

I took a deep breath. "It wasn't exactly my idea. I mean, I went, I thought it would be interesting."

"You mate, I know. She has an agenda to your arrival."

"What!?" I snapped, leaning towards her. "What the hell does that mean?"

She looked at the floor. "Family matters, of which you are now waist deep into." She smiled softly. "I enjoy knowing how well the thestrals have bonded with your people."

"Thestrals?"

"Oh...I'm sorry, the bat ponies." Luna nodded a few times. "I would not suggest calling them bat ponies, or, bats."

"So what it's like...a proper name?" I propped myself up with my hand behind my back. "Well...I guess that makes sense."

"Indeed. But, your- Ben...are you alright?"

I started squirming around, an strange sensation smoldering in my lap. "Fine- just a little- what the crap!?"

Luna stared straight ahead for a few moments. I continued to try and wiggle free of the strange feeling. "Oh- oh dear...the...Moon Light is--"

"It's in my groin...and...we're in my brain...so.... Am I getting raped?!?"

Luna blushed a little and turned away. "She seems to have taken quite an interest in you."

"She's a nutcase! I get here, she tries to kill me, and now I'm getting dream raped!" I stood up and tried not to shift around too much. "Damn it!"

"Ehem, at any rate. I'm not pleased with your sudden departure. Your duty to the children is not going to be disregarded."

I rubbed my lap, dancing around like a fool. "What the he- what does that mean?"

Luna took a deep breath. "We are aware you are going to be residing in Arder."

"Residing is a strong word. I was gonna leave tomorrow!"

Luna smiled and shook her head. "Ben...you're not going to leave. They won't let you."

"What?!" I asked with a bit of heat behind my otherwise calm voice.

"You proclaimed your rule, they will keep you there until you either prove yourself, or die." Luna stood up, walking over and wrapping a wing around me. "But, your foals are worried. Your break has been too long."

"But- I--"

"And so, we shall be sending aid to your new charge, your stead." She walked me along the fog. "We understand the town may be a bit underdeveloped, but we trust you to rectify this and provide your children with a safe home."

"Wait...my kids!?"

"Oh yes. You may be bound to the township, but that does not change your bond. The foals under your name shall be brought on a train upon its return."

"Whoa, back up! This place is not sa--"

"We shall be sending a small unit of guards to you, we will reestablish trade and attempt to enlighten our subjects." Luna hurried me along through the fog as I continued to dance about. "You are brave for undertaking this, and you shall have my aid in every capacity."

I scratched my head hard. "So...if I send a list of supplies with Bane, will you make sure I have everything beforehand?"

Luna cocked her head. "It will come out of your treasury."

"Treasury!? I- what the hell is going on!?" I pulled free of Luna and stepped away. "I'm a babysitter, not a politician!"

Luna stomped her hoof. "Count Wesk, you are a Count, you have responsibilities to your town!" Luna looked around nervously. "Ben...may we speak in confidence?"

"Are we not!? We're in my head!"

"We need somepony to manage the town. We have tried, but--"

"They killed them...great."

"We have faith in you Ben. We have faith." She smiled at me, slowly turning to a frown as she looked down at my groin. I joined her gaze and spotted a wet spot on my groin. "Ben...I believe you have released."

"Yep...at least some part of me is having fun." I sat down and curled up. "How much money is there?"

"Do not worry, we shall aid you to start. I imagine Arder is rather abused, we shall send you everything we can."

I took a deep breath. "Thanks Luna...and also, fuck you." I stood up and hugged her. "You made my life thirty times more complicated with two quick steps, and you've given me an amazing new life. So...yeah, fuck you, and I love you."

Luna backed away. "You are a strange creature Benjamin, good luck."

I nodded, suddenly falling. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!" I screamed loudly as the formless floor gave way, sending me into a pure white free fall. "Ooooh my god!"

"Aaaah!" I snapped upright, in some dark leaky room with a warm heat ambient in the air. I looked around, straw and stone, wooden shelves, very rustic.

I was bare on a bed, my body horridly sweaty. I flung my hands out, finding something strange beneath my hand. "Uh--"

The sheet popped upright, revealing a frazzled silver mane popping out. I was met with a sultry gaze from a pair of silver eyes. "Congratulations, Krossa, enjoy your conquest." Moon Light laid her head back down, nuzzling against me.

I just laid my head down and stared at the roof. "I'm gonna die...."

"No, I have told the town to leave you be."

"Not from you!" I shot upright. "From Foxglove you idiot!" I clutched my head. "Oh god...she's gonna bite my dick off."

"Over my dead body perhaps." Moon Light stated, rising from the bed. "Your life is not entirely your own. You are property to many, including myself."

"Yeah well I already pinned you! I can survive you! Foxglove.... She's fucking scary!" I rubbed my head with my wrist. "Oh god...what is my life?"

"Short." A familiarly husky voice broke the rustling. Foxglove stood in the doorway. "Slut."