I picked up the uniform along with custom shoes to match. Rarity did a damn fine job, it was practically identical to the one I had hung up back home, minus the few ribbons I had; but all in all she basically replicated the entirety of my uniform from the ranks to the beret that adorned my head the next day. I spent the few hours before bed pressing my uniform again and again, then shining my shoes, I had to be presentable...I had to be.

I woke up early, before the sun rose and got myself squared away with a bowl of oatmeal, a nice glass of milk and my first cigarette of the day, just to make everything better. I sat up in the quiet library, reading various books to pass the time. Twilight had a little closet she didn’t use down stairs, so I hung the uniform in it and thankfully it stayed as straight as I felt was presentable. Twilight woke up pretty much as the sun did, just a few hours after I did and wasn’t surprised to see me up whatsoever. “Nervous, Hazen?” She asked with a yawn. “You have no buckin’ idea, Twi.” I replied.

I got dressed in the uniform, it was surprisingly comfortable compared to the one back home...I suppose it being custom tailored for your hide will do that. I decided that I should stop kicking the shit of the protocol and act as I was taught to do and treat the Princesses as I would a friendly diplomat, polite, respectful and to speak only when spoken to...though my instincts told me to be cautious...so I tucked my pistol down my pant leg, just in case. Twilight and Spike stepped outside and I joined them in awaiting the escort.

Once the chariot surrounded by armored Pegasi guards showed up I felt a touch uncomfortable and Twilight noticed the slight change in my demeanor. “Hey...it’s alright, there’s no more guards than if it was only Spike and I...relax.” I nodded, but this didn’t comfort me...these boys had spears and I wasn’t taking any chances. We stepped forward, Twilight said some words to the lead guard and he nodded to her. Without incident we all loaded up into the chariot with no problem...what happened next still gets me. The chariot began to fucking fly, like Santa’s sleigh out of a damn christmas special. “God dammit, I’m no airborne...” I mumbled under my breath.

The flight was a short one, and we landed in front of a beautiful palace...the surrounding city was also beautiful, I had to assume this was Canterlot, the capitol that Twilight told me of days before. We stepped from the chariot and towards the palace gates. The soldiers on watch raised their spears and pointed them at me and me alone. I was ready to reach for my sidearm and inflict some high velocity lead poisoning on these guards, but a loud voice rung out from behind them. “GUARDS, I BID THEE STAND DOWN!” The source, was a midnight blue...alicorn? What the hell? The guards lowered their spears and snapped to attention Twilight moved ahead, but I stood my ground as the alicorn approached. “Princess Luna, it’s great to see you!” Twilight said to the Alicorn who smiled at her. “Tis good to see you as well, Twilight Sparkle. This is the creature thou mentioned in thine letter?” She said at a normal volume, and with Twilight continued down to meet me. I snapped to attention as she was roughly ten paces away, which caught the attention of the guards who had just held me at spear point. “Hmm...thou are a soldier?” she inquired looking me over. “Yes, ma’am. I am Private First Class Hazen Rickett of the United States Army.” I spoke loud and clear, avoiding shouting as was the first mistake I made at Basic Training, getting smoked for such a thing was not fun. She nodded “At ease, I am Princess Luna, ruler of the night who rules by the side of my sister, Celestia.” I relaxed just a bit, but didn’t get too comfortable seeing as I still had to meet Celestia, but I felt that my presentation helped my first impression with the princess of the night.

Twilight, Spike and I continued into the palace in tow of Princess Luna, as we walked (me half marching just out of habit) examined the Princess further, the mark on her flank was a crescent moon and her mane was...well it looked like a foggy night sky, twinkling stars shrouded by a deep blue mane, her tail matched. She walked with very elegant steps, trained in or natural I don’t know. A black tiara adorned her head just above her horn. By any stretch she had a natural beauty that seemed to be enhanced by her regal stature. Twilight piped up and started a conversation with her, explaining my discovery and the last few days. I didn’t say a word, speak when spoken to...I was back in the formal soldier mode.

We got to the throne room after a short walk. The high ceiling and wide interior of this room was quite awe inspiring...though the whole damn palace was awe inspiring, this room hit me the hardest for one reason or another. As we stood just before the throne I snapped back to attention, regardless of Princess Luna’s presence. The alicorn before me seemed to be the opposite of the Princess of the night, a bright white coat and rainbow mane that seemed to blow in a non existent breeze. “Princess Celestia, it is good to see you!” Twilight said, trotting up the god like figure before me. She was taller than her co-ruler as well, by half a foot at least. “It is good to see you too, my most faithful student.” She smiled warmly at Twilight and her attention turned to me, maintaining said smile. “And you must be the creature my student stumbled across.” Her voice was very soothing along with one of the warmest smiles I have ever seen in my life. “Yes, ma’am. I am Private First Class Hazen Rickett of the United States Army.” I said again, I kept my bearing no matter how badly I wanted to return her smile, it was almost contagious. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Private First Class...everypony, may we please have a moment to discuss PFC (Shortening it up for ink) Rickett’s situation?” In that instant the room cleared, Twilight, Spike and all the guards were gone and the only ones in the throne room were Princess Luna, Princess Celestia and I.

“PFC Rickett...what is thine reason for being in our lands?” The princess of the night asked me. “I have no reason, to be honest ma’am...” I told them both my tale, from deployment to arriving at Twilight’s home. They both seemed uneasy at the details of the battle and the cause of the war, but stayed attentive. I explained human’s weapons of war...what humans were, the countries and the like. “From what you’ve told us, you’re very lucky to be alive.” Princess Celestia started...”But I need to know you’re not going to harm any of our little ponies.” I nodded and replied “I understand, ma’am. I have no intention of causing harm to any of your subjects without provocation, If I’m in danger I will act accordingly, but besides that I have no plans of causing unjust harm.” Both princesses seemed satisfied with my answer, but seemed to have something more in store for me. Princess Celestia began to speak and what she requested made my heart drop.

“You’re going to have to work with the Equestrian military to earn proper citizenship?!” Twilight was floored. “Relax...I’m not a fan of this, but at least she’s giving me a few months to settle in and get prepared...she even gave me some bits so I could get a room here, so that I may report in tomorrow, since she has somethings to show me apparently...” I patted the bag of bits in my pocket. “It’s just like my deployment back home...” I sighed and reached into my pocket, taking a cigarette. Fuck it, I needed it.

I got my room in a fairly nice hotel, a stone’s throw away from the palace. Twilight had Rainbow drop off some clothes, which I immediately changed into as I took a walk around Canterlot. It was a bustling city of classy elites...fuck I hated this place already. I got some food from a local market run by a griffon, which sold meats and cheeses. I left with a few steaks that the fellow was kind enough to cook for me, it didn’t cost much seeing as I had some extra after renting my room. I returned to my room and enjoyed one of the slabs of meat, it was excellent and I thanked my goddess for them. The rest of the night was spent me lighting up cigarette after cigarette until I finally fell asleep...I was pissed off and by god I was worried, what the hell would I be doing in the Equestrian military? Would the troops take to me or would I be alienated?

I slept fairly lightly, and woke up just before 9:00, I ate another steak and got dressed in a finer set of clothes that Rarity had made the day before my departure to Canterlot. I left my BDU’s behind as they were practically ruined and I didn’t want to ruin them further. I went off towards the palace, with my sidearm tucked in my boot. “Today is going to be interesting.” I said to myself aloud.

Apparently the Princesses had a stash of human technology, each piece arriving randomly...they had a research lab underneath the palace, where ponies were working 24/7 studying and trying to replicate the most useful of objects. Celestia lead me in and I was blown away immediately by the sheer amount of badassery that lay ahead. I immediately went over to investigate a pick up truck I had never seen before...it was Ford, but the style was unfamiliar to me. I was immediately asked by the princesses what it was. “Well this is a vehicle used by humans to get around fairly quickly...it can go hundreds of miles in a few hours depending on conditions and fuel consumption.” I looked around the cab, a few Alkaline Trio CDs among many others...but no keys. I reached up under the steering column and wrenched the underside open, revealing the wires. With a little folding knife I found in the glove box I cut a couple of wires and pressed them together. The engine revved to life. “Aha! Thank you dad!” My father taught me a few useful things growing up, hotwiring cars being one of them...bless his soul. I slid up into the driver’s seat....and looking around the engine’s roar drew the attention (and scared the shit out of) all the research ponies and the princesses alike.

After returning to my hotel and grabbing everything I had brought, I loaded the bed of the truck up with a few of the heavier guns and tossed a tarp over it and tied it down. “Alright princesses so, besides taking these few goodies, what are my remaining objectives?” I lit up a cigarette I had taken from a World War II C-ration accessory pack...they were pristine, as if just delivered...Lucky Strikes...my grandfather smoked these during his time in Germany...another crazy S.O.B. in my lineage. “Well, Hazen your orders are to take these items to Ponyville and seek Pinkie Pie, she has discovered the Mirror Pond, it allows anypony to make a clone of themselves and through some research the elements have done on it, it can clone items as well...use this to your advantage, we have a specific assignment in mind for you, where this may prove useful.” Princess Celestia replied. “We’ll have shipments of the rest of the items in our research sent down that way as well as establishing a camp and making it restricted to only those who have our approval. You’re going to be in charge for now, seeing as you actually know what these items do. Any questions?” I thought about it. “No questions, but a suggestion...if you’re going to make a camp around this we are certainly going to need either a VERY large warehouse, or a series of decently sized ones...I’m certain that I’ll have to keep a steady supply of these trucks around...I have a few ideas.” I smirked, Technicals, we’re going to need technicals...and with one of the goodies loaded in the bed of the truck...this was going to be fun.

It wasn’t a horribly long drive to Ponyville, I stayed on the coach roads which were practically abandoned. Driving through the remnants of old abandoned and nearly abandoned towns reminded me of the American Southwest when the railroad made its way through, killing off the towns that thrived off of wagoneers and their patronage. I dug through the CD’s and popped in a CD that I was not only familiar with but was one of my favorite albums... “When was it that you lost your youth or traded it for something more for them to use so jaded...” The second track began...I’d listened to the first track so much I just decided to skip it and get back to it later. I began to sing along. This was Alkaline Trio’s From Here to Infirmary, an album that had just come out this year. I loved my punk rock seeing as I grew up during it’s high point and Alkaline Trio was one of my favorite bands. The song I was listening to now, Mr. Chainsaw hit home for me, it was a song about growing up and facing the real world, tossing yourself away just so you could survive. “Everything that you could never say...it wouldn’t matter anyway, I took a hammer and two nails to my eardrums long ago...” The music made the drive much much easier...thank god for a working CD player.

I pulled into Ponyville and of course everypony crowded around the truck, some terrified ones ran away while others stood around trying to figure out what it was. I hopped out and looked around at them all. “Citizens of Ponyville, there is no cause for alarm...this is merely a human vehicle and not some metal monster. Please, pay me and it no heed and return to your business.” I called out to the gathering crowd. They all began to disperse...oddly enough these ponies were fairly open minded. I was concerned I was going to have a lynch mob out for me at some point...ah whatever. I pulled it around to Twilight’s library and knocked on the door. “Oh Hazen, you’re back! Wait...what is that thing behind you?” Twilight was happy to see me, and that certainly made me happy. “That, Twilight is a pickup truck...” I explained the rest to her and what cargo I had in the bed...we decided that for the time being it would be best to keep it protected so that no one got hurt if they went snooping around. Her horn began to glow and a purple forefield surrounded the truck, effectively blocking from any unwelcome entry. I thanked her, then patted her head. “Well Twi, I hate to run off but I have orders...I need to go see Pinkie...maybe after all my work we could hangout? Have some tea or something?” It had only been a few days and I was already beginning to get more comfortable. “Sure, that sounds good!” Twilight replied. I waved good bye and began walking to Sugarcube Corner.

Finding Pinkie was certainly no chore, she was usually here if not bouncing around the town and continuing to break physics... I explained my orders to her and after getting permission from Mr. and Mrs. Cake we went back to get the truck. I had Pinkie load up in the passenger’s seat and off we went, towards the forest. Thankfully there was something of a path, though it was rough...thank god for four wheel drive...it made beating through the forest much easier. Guards had already landed and began establishing a perimeter and many of them began setting up tents while construction crews coming in from the OTHER side began knocking down forest and setting up foundations for what appeared to be three large warehouses...all around the site there were tents being raised and what looked like watch towers being set up...good god I thought I had stepped back and been sent into ‘Nam. I pulled up to a few blockers with guards manning them. A brief conversation with a guard on site who would later do amazing things, he told me that they recognized that the “metal carriage” I was in was explained in their orders they didn’t bother double checking. We pulled in just at the entrance to the cave and disembarked. Pinkie showed me inside and explained everything that occurred in her little “episode” with the pond.

After a few test runs I ended up with three packs of the Lucky Strikes...fuck yes. I undid the tie downs on the truck and set the tarp down beside the pool and began off loading the cargo...but not before rubbing my hands together manically. The first thing I set on the mat was a M240B light machine gun...belt fed 7.62mm killing machine...oh such a beast....such a beast... next to it I set down a pair of rifles, one Barrett M82 .50 cal Sniper rifle and a M40A3 7.62x51mm Sniper rifle. I set the M40 in the bed due the fact that there was no room in the back of the cab from all the other goodies I had packed...and hell with the rest of the shit that was going to be delievered we were going to have quite an armory. I carefully placed an M72 Law rocket launcher down on the tarp...damn thing was brand new...and last but not least...an M2 .50 cal belt fed death machine, not just because fuck you, but because fuck you and your cover.

Before too long I had a tarp and a few small tables loaded with guns...oh it was beautiful! I took a list of inventory (including what was shipped down), which I’ll put down here, note: this list was written before copies were made

2x M16A4 5.56x46mm NATO

2x AKM 7.62x39mm

1x M14 7.62x51mm NATO

3x M1 Garand .30-06 Springfield

1x L96 .338 Lapua Magnum

5x Mosin Nagant 91/30 7.62x54r mm

1x M4A1 5.56x46mm NATO

2x Colt M1911 .45 ACP

1x Kimber Warrior .45 ACP

1x Thompson Sub Machinegun .45 ACP

1x PA-63 9x18mm

2x Beretta M9 9x19mm

1x DShKs 12.7x108mm

1x Mossberg 500 12 Gauge

1x Spas 12 12 Gauge

Now, it seems odd I have to say, this random assortment of firearms ending up in a land that still uses spears, swords and the like... hell digging through the labs later on we stumbled across some radios, and helicopter parts, seriously...how in the blue fuck did this stuff end up here? Why does the old WW2 and older stuff seem brand new? Why did supplies end up here and no people? The questions were clouding my mind and I didn’t seem to notice a tug at my sleeve.

“Hazen, what is all this stuff?” Pinkie asked looking specifically towards the guns. “Well Pinkie, these are firearms, they fire a lead projectile at high velocity when the primer (I took a round from my concealed M9 out for reference.) is struck by the firing pin. The firing pin hitting the primer causes a spark within the casing which is loaded with gunpowder, which is highly flammable, The gunpowder ignites and explodes causing the actual bullet which is this little tip to go flying.” I reloaded the round back into the magazine. Pinkie seemed even more confused...so I put it in a more simple sense. “When someone pulls this trigger, the weapon goes off and a piece of metal goes flying really fast and can seriously hurt, or kill.” This shocked her, but I patted her on the head. “It’s alright, I know it’s different and I know it’s not a nice thing...but these weapons have saved countless lives from evil...though evil has they’re own guns too.”

After everything was set up we decided to try something...risky, though Pinkie said it was perfectly safe. I was lowered into the mirror pond and as expected a clone of myself came out with me. “Well then...cloning, this’ll be fun.” I said with a grin, the clone mirrored my grin. “Alright, so you should know the situation, we are gonna be part of the military...again. I need you to continue the cloning until we have a decent set up around here to keep arms, transport and supplies made.” The clone nodded but then asked “So...am I Hazen, or...” I cut him off. “You’re free to choose your own name, if you’d like.” The clone smiled, must be nice choosing your own nomenclature, I suppose.

We had an extreme amount of clones at the end of the day, but it was good. Supplies were being “made” and once the supply crew was set, we had more clones made to help the construction crews outside, all while I just stood and watched...so this is what being an officer feels like...probably not.

We mounted up cloned M2’s onto cloned Ford trucks, making technicals...it was nice having mobile platforms of death...if only we had tanks...damn. Rarity, being the generous mare she was designed many uniforms based off the ones I came in, sans burns and blood. We had winter gear, desert, woodland, urban...she even decided to make “fashion” camo like back home...pink and purple...ugh...

The first month passed and the orders from the princesses changed from numbers, training the royal guard to eventually posting security around various towns, villages and security. By this point, we had such an efficient line of supplies that we managed to have surplus to sell. No guns for ponies or anyone else...didn’t want to have that shitstorm brewing because of us. Uniforms for ponies, cloned cigarettes, rations and music (yes we cloned music...because morale and stuff.) were what kept the clones paid... Oh and the clones took on their own personas to make things easier...I mean in a barracks full of clones if someone called “RICKETT!” how much of a pain in the ass would it be to figure out which one?

One the arrival of the second month (I hung around Ponyville, mostly but did go to oversee operations) Twilight and her friends and I had become very close and on this particular day...well...I got new orders. “Oversee troop movements towards the Griffon Empire...we are war, sir.” Were the words one of the messenger clones passed on to me. I was at my newly constructed home in Ponyville. I had another messenger send for the six ponies...

“You’re going to war?!” All six exclaimed in unison. “Yes.” was all I could say. I had a bottle of cloned Jack Daniels sitting on my desk in my “office” it was a new bottle...but half empty already. “War...in a peaceful land...hell my troops love their assignments of the security details because they just get to move around and meet new ponies...no problems for them, no fighting...but now...damn...I was hoping it would just be a peacetime tour.” my tone was somber and slightly slurred as the booze started to kick in. I reached for an unfiltered Camel and lit it up. “My closest friends...please don’t worry about me, I’ll write when I can...but for now I say we make this night memorable.” I pulled another couple of bottles from under my desk, one being Vodka and the other being Jameson Whiskey.

My head slightly hurt, thankfully I did have some water while I was drinking the night before or else this would be hell. I popped some Aspirin as I bounced along on the tailgate of a transport truck. I looked around at the mass of trucks and soldiers on foot...these were my men...but they were also me...I reached into my vest and pulled a single Lucky Strike and lit it...a long drag and a mumbled prayer. “Let this be over soon.”