“The popularity of smoking has taken a slight dent in my world since the link between cigarette smoking and lung cancer was publicized and plenty of concerned individuals have run campaigns against cigarette companies.” A good body of smoke came from my mouth as I started that sentence. I smoked since I was 16 and by god if I didn’t waste so much of my pay now on my habit. I always got a nice ass-chewing from my superiors, but I tended to brush them off. I mean they were right, the damned things were gonna kill me in the long run, but hell they took the edge off and that’s why I always had a pack on hand when I could. I packed my cigarettes tight just out of habit, I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts where I would typically run into a fair amount of wind or rain and the tight packing, while making taking a drag a bit tougher made sure I didn’t have to re-light. “So people use machines to make cigarettes?” Twilight asked, magically levitating a small jar over to where I was, just as I had asked. “The cigarettes here are all packed using magic...well that and we don’t add any chemicals. I don’t smoke, though.” Huh, so I can keep smoking while I’m here...awesome!

“Well good on you, Twilight and thanks for the jar, I really don’t want to make a mess of the floor...though I could’ve just stepped outside...” “It’s alright, Hazen; l’m fairly used to smoke, though it’s mostly just the magic scrolls, they still leave that odor. I never thought I would need an ashtray, since I have few visitors who actually do smoke...” She replied while I held the cigarette between my index and middle fingers on my left hand and reached over to pet the baby dragon with my right hand. My attempt at petting the creature was denied, as right before my hand came into contact with the green scales on his head Spike backed off. “Nu-uh. I’m not a dog.” Spike said, sounding fairly annoyed. “Sorry, little dude.” I replied, withdrawing my hand back to the rather SMALL chair I had been sitting in.

I finished my cigarette fairly quickly and I dropped the butt into the ash jar, but just as I was about light another but then Spike’s cheeks puffed up and he belched up a flame that nearly singed my eyebrows. It was a scroll, a reply from the princess. Spike cleared his throat and in an attempted announcer voice he read “My dearest Twilight, while this is indeed of importance I am far too busy to pay a visit at this moment to see this creature of which you mentioned. I will inform you of my arrival in advance. Your Teacher, Princess Celestia.”

“Darn, looks like Princess Celestia has things to take care of.” Twilight sighed. “Well she is your country’s royal sovereign so she is bound to have duties to take care of.” I said...well partially muttered as I was putting another cigarette between my lips. I sat there, fairly calm and enjoying the slight nicotine high, my mind began to wander. Why hadn’t I followed the standard protocol when I first met Twilight? I should know better, I mean so far so good but what if their leader treats me differently? I shook these thoughts away and replaced them with my theories of the world I was in. I went through all possible scenarios, from my aforementioned Alternate universe and future of earth theories, to a possible pocket hidden away from earth in one of those dark zones people who go to never return from. I was subconsciously taking drags from my cigarette, as I usually did when I was deep in thought, then I noticed that Twilight was speaking. “Sorry, Twilight, I keep drifting off into my own mind...I’m still trying to get a grasp of this place... I mean this is no where like where I was before you found me.” I said sounding slightly dejected, and she looked at me with the deepest expression of concern. Then I told her my tale, of the city and the firefight...I explained guns and how they worked and then about White Phosphorous and of what ended up happening to me in the end before I woke up. “I just don’t understand what would bring me to a place like this.” What I thought would be a slight tone of melancholy was actually quite overwhelming. I was certain now that maybe I was in a form of afterlife seeing as I shouldn’t have been able to survive the cloud of WP. The Purple unicorn, who seemed to feel sorry for me came over to me and wrapped a leg around me and gave me a light hug, which partially caught me off guard, I didn’t return the hug but I certainly did feel better. “Well I’m very sorry you’ve been through so much...” Twilight started to speak, but I cut her off. “It’s okay, it’s my job...I fight and if I die, I die for my country...that’s what I signed up for, after all.” I said, a smile upon my face. I enlisted on July 20th, 2000. I went through basic training and graduated eight weeks later. I enlisted for a few reasons, I felt patriotic enough to enlist so I suppose that is reason number one, though I never felt that I had real qualifications for a civilian job, I just felt drawn to the military to help me find out what I was good at. Then comes the final reason, my family has lineage in the military. My father was a grunt and so was his and so on...though the one man in my family that changed my view of it all was my uncle who fought in Vietnam. He was a tunnel rat, a crazy S.O.B by pretty much all standards, but he was a cool guy. He told me this “You see boy, when you’re a soldier you have to remember a couple of things; first, you’re superiors have your name and your ass, don’t piss them off. Second, when you get out there and you’re fighting, you’re fighting for your country...your friends, your family...those suits in Washington who decide who you’re fighting...no matter how you feel about some of the people you’re gonna fight for all of the people.” He was right.

“I asked you if you would like to meet my friends.” Twilight’s words managed to shake me from my thoughts this time. “Eh...would that be a problem to the rest of the town?” I wasn’t ready to start a panic in a strange land I knew so little about, hell I wasn’t even armed...was I? I patted myself down and felt the familiar bulk of my pistol, right where it should be. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I’ve been shitting on protocol since I got here! Twilight opened her mouth to reply but I cut her off again. “Twilight, I’m going to take a gun from my belt, I’m only checking it.” Her expression changed to a mixture of curiosity and excitement, she nodded. I unfastened the strap and pulled the pistol from it’s holster. Twilight leaned closer with extreme interest. “So that’s a gun? What is that made of? Can we disassemble it?...” She had more questions than I noted, but I feel I had to cut down for the sake of saving ink.

After a long examination of my side-arm and a long discussion, Twilight finally decided it was time to venture out and see her friends. We went to meet her friend Rarity first, apparently she was the most fashion savvy woma- ... mare in town; she had her own boutique and as Twilight put it “Makes the highest quality clothes in all of Equestria.” As we were walking over, the thought popped into my head. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small leather square that was my wallet, and from the wallet I took a small photograph of me and my girlfriend, her in an elegant black dress and I was wearing my Green Class A uniform and beret, a few ribbons on my coat, my name tag and the usual. I was going to see if maybe, just maybe I could have Rarity re-make my uniform, so that I may be presentable when I was to meet the Princesses. Twilight gave me a light nudge on the arm. “Deep in thought again?” I nodded. “A couple things are on my mind...I’m still a bit worried about causing a stir in the town.” She pointed her foreleg around, showing that some of the other ponies didn’t even look in my direction, and even the ones who did didn’t look twice.

We arrived and I have to say the design of the building was an...interesting concept; the building itself resembled a carousel, painted purple with yellow accenting it. Twilight gently shoved the door to the boutique open; which revealed the small reception-type area, most likely where she would take orders; Twilight motioned toward a rather comfy looking, lavender colored sofa, on which I took a seat; it was indeed the most comfortable seat I’ve sat in, since deployment. Twilight vanished into the back of the store, calling for Rarity while I sat there taking in the atmosphere. The room smelled as if it was perfumed, yet it had a subtle undertone of a smell of creativity mixed with hard work and ambition. Besides the smell, it was a bright room; both the amount of light inside and the colors that filled the room made it very comfortable, those shades of a deepish pink color with yellows and purples indeed reminded me that this building belonged to a lady.

“Well hello, welcome to Carousel (called it.) boutique!” The new voice was very pleasant, it was what I would expect a sophisticated female to sound like, clear with a touch of what sounded like a proper English accent. I looked up to see the source of the voice and my eyes took hold of a beautiful white unicorn mare with a deep purple mane and tane, both were curled. “Hello there, Ms. Rarity.” I greeted her pleasantly, which seemed to catch her surprise...did she think of me as a savage? I could understand why, I was covered in dirt and blood. She looked me over, acting as if she was inspecting some of her designs. I could feel her stare and with that I stood up, and walked over to her; “If I may say, this shop is quite lovely...though the designs aren’t really in my taste...or form for that matter.” I smiled at her, only to have it returned but hesitantly. “Well, well, well...looks are deceiving, with the state of your..’clothes’(She said it sounding mostly like they weren’t really clothes)...and the dirt and Oh my, that dreadful blood in your hair! We certainly must clean that!” I chuckled and was about to tell her that I was fine, but I was dragged away by that familiar feeling of unicorn magic.

“And I must make you some new clothes! I cannot...CANNOT...let you wander around in those rags!” She was certainly generous...though it was a little...overwhelming. “Actually, I had an idea about that...but I don’t know how I could pay for such a task.” I said as she was scrubbing the blood from my hair with some very fragrant soap. “And Rarity, these “rags” are the uniform of my country’s military. Please treat it with respect.” I partially said, partially snapped. I noticed that she was fairly hesitant to continue conversation. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any disrespect.” She sounded very...guilty? I realized that I must’ve sounded very harsh. “No, no. I didn’t mean to snap like I did, It’s just what I was used to back home, I had a few instances of disrespect towards me personally and towards the military.” I was very apologetic, I didn’t mean to make her feel bad; especially since she didn’t know. “Really? I don’t understand why anypony would disrespect those who protect them.” She sounded quite surprised. I nodded and spoke “It’s just because of the day and age my world is in I guess.” With that settled she continued to clean the blood from my head.

“Oh! That looks simply divine, Hazen dear! May I hold on to this picture for reference?” Rarity was “holding” the picture in front of her with her magic. “Of course...just make sure it gets back to me later.” She smiled and nodded. “Goodbye, Ms.Rarity; thank you.” I stepped out of the boutique wearing a new black wool pea-coat, custom tailored which included a little pocket on the inside of the coat for my cigarettes, new grey pants...the material I’m not really sure of... a black belt, a comfortably fitted white T-shirt (much to her objection, she wanted to make me a dress shirt) all along with my boots, cleaned to the point where they looked almost brand new...oh and a bag with my BDU’s (which she did the best she could to clean them.) Twilight trailed behind me for a moment before turning back and snapping at Spike about dilly-dallying. He (adorably) toddled back to us with his head practically cemented in the direction of the boutique.

I stopped for a moment and flanked around to catch a look at the baby dragon’s face. He was obviously love struck. “Oh boy...” I muttered as I caught back up with Twilight. She looked back at her assistant and giggled. “You noticed?” She said then giggled again. “Are you kidding, a blind man could’ve noticed.” I said before chuckling myself. “Whaaaat?” the baby dragon whined and I chuckled again. “You’re just so adorable with your crush on Rarity.” I stuck my tongue out at him playfully and he frowned. “Sorry, buddy I was just teasing.” I felt bad that I had potentially insulted the baby dragon. “It’s alright, Hazen...I just wish she would return my feelings.” Spike sounded fairly somber at this point and as if it was my little cousin of ten years old, I picked him up and hugged him. “Hey, everyone has their chances in life and love; if she doesn’t work out you’ll find someone, but you need to step up...observing from a distance and hoping for them to come to you doesn’t always work out.” I patted him on the head, and set him down; he was smiling. “Thanks for the advice.” said Spike.

Our journey took us to a farm, a large plot with apple trees for acres and acres in each direction.

Twilight and I were discussing the history of earth as well as I knew it. She was very interested in the industrial revolution periods of England and the United States and then very saddened at the events of the Second World War. I was about to bring her up to the modern times but I was beaned in the head with an apple. “GOTCHA!” a female voice exclaimed, I rubbed the back of my head with a groan. Twilight and Spike started to crack up with laughter. “AJ, come out!” Twilight called once she’d wiped the laugh-induced tears from her eyes. “Whut in tarnation is that thing?!” an orange mare called. She had a blonde mane covered by a light brown stetson hat as well as a blonde tail and green eyes and a fair southern drawl. “My name is Hazen Rickett and I’m a human.” I replied to the country pony. “And whut are ya’ll doin’ here?” She asked fairly suspiciously only to be reconciled by a quick, but detailed explanation of everything I had told her. “So you’re a soldier from a differ’nt world?” the pony asked me and looked me over once, then twice. “Ya’ll don’t very...soldiery...” I replied with a light chuckle. “Well I had met Ms. Rarity earlier and she made me some new clothes...every soldier has to have a civilian side, right?” She smiled, apparently satisfied with my answer. “Well ahm, Applejack, AJ to my friends, sorry about earlier.” She held out her hoof, I took it and shook it. “Well I understand, seeing an odd creature, let alone anyone unfamiliar on your property is fair enough for such action...though I could think of something a sight better than apples for that.” She gave me a look of “Well I’m waiting, what is it?” I waved the thought away. “Well besides my thought, I have to say that was a damn good toss, I certainly felt that apple.” She smirked. “Well ahm am one of those farm-mares no one wants ta go tusslin’ with!” I laughed heartily. “Well that’s for sure.”

“Ya’ll are welcome here anytime! Don’t be a stranger, ya hear?” Applejack yelled as Twilight, Spike and I walked down the dirt road. I smiled and waved back to her as we left. “Well she’s certainly a friendly one.” I said walking along, I put my hands in my pockets, my smile wide. The walk back towards ponyville was a quiet and comfortable one. I reached into my coat for my cigarettes but...I didn’t feel the urge for once. “Huh, that’s odd.” I said to myself outloud. “What?” Twilight and Spike said at the same time. “I don’t feel like I need a cigarette right now...that’s sort of odd for me.” They both shrugged. “Well I guess it’s maybe because I feel at ease for once...l dunno...even when I wasn’t enlisted I smoked out of boredom...when I was stressed...hell...I smoked for damn near any reason I could.” This was true, since I started smoking I found it to be my go to curb the edge of a situation.

We headed back into Ponyville and towards a rather interesting looking store, the roof looked as if it was a gingerbread house with frosting along the edges of the roof, with a small addition through the roof that was decorated to look like a pair of cupcakes...speaking of which the shop’s sign was simply a cupcake. “A bakery? We gettin’ lunch?” I asked aloud for either of my companions to answer. “Well if you’d like to, but actually one of my friends works here.” Twilight replied as she magically opened the door and held it open for me. “Thank you, Twilight.” I stepped through and just out of the doorway, reaching back to hold the door open for my companions. As they entered I felt a sudden weight slam against me and knock me to the floor, by instinct I reached for my sidearm, bringing it up into the face of a giggling pink pony.

“HIHIHIHIHIIHIHIHIHIHIIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!” she said

“I’mPinkiePie!Whatareyou,whatisthat?Oh!HelloTwilight!” She turned and launched herself off of me and toward Twilight, only to be stopped by a magical field trapping her mid-air. “Aw, you’re no fun, Twi.” Pinkie said with a faux disappointed tone...only for the act to be killed by her giggling. Twilight dropped the field and she came back to me as I was rising to my feet, I put my sidearm away and was rubbing the back of my head. “Ow...” I mumbled. She then appeared hanging upside down in front of me, looking at me with a wide smile...the sudden breaking of physics and science proceeded to escalate my headache. “Uh my name is Hazen and uh...how in the hell do you do that?” I asked the beaming pink pony. “She’s just Pinkie Pie, it’s easier to think of it that way.” Twilight said. “She’s one of my friends and Ponyville’s finest baker and party animal.” Pinkie proceeded to shake her head up and down so fast all I saw was a pink blur and I swear to any and all gods that I heard a cow bell being struck as she did so...what is this a damned cartoon?

So...there was no lunch, but hell I didn’t care, I didn’t have any money to buy food and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna have Twilight pick up my lunch, no matter how many times she insisted I held firm. “So where to next?” I asked, lighting a cigarette....I didn’t need it until my run in with Pinkie Pie, she broke physics for fucks sake, I felt like I got mind fucked and what goes good after getting fucked? A cigarette, that’s what. I laughed at my own stupid joke to get an odd look from the purple pony and the baby dragon. “Uh...we’re going to see Fluttershy over by the forest...you okay?” Twilight asked, sounding genuinely concerned. I explained I remembered a funny joke that the two probably wouldn’t get and left it at that.

We arrived at the small cottage, which sort of resembled a tree with a roof covered or made of leaves. There were birdhouses all over the place, with many birds flying in and out of them, many species I recognized and some I didn’t. Twilight approached the door and gave it a knock as I dropped my cigarette butt in a little glass container that had some cigarette butts in it already. “So...is she a smoker?” I asked Twilight, as we waited. “Not really, but Angel her little bunny has been going through a phase and has been smoking plenty.” She replied. Okay, that’s fuckin’ weird...a rabbit...smoking...then again the fact there are sentient talking horses who also smoke...eh fuck logic. As I finished my internal monologue the door opened up just a crack. “Oh...hello Twilight, hello Spike.” A very soft voice said. The door opened further, then an “EEP!” was heard...then the door slammed and pretty damn hard too. “Fluttershy, it’s okay! He’s friendly!” Twilight called as she banged on the door yet again. I moved towards the door, then something heavy and hard hit my head...again and everything went black.

I found myself in an alley way back in Iraq, it was hazy...I saw one of my squadmates laying down fire around the corner, but I couldn’t hear anything but this loud ringing in my ears, I tried to talk, but couldn’t hear what I was saying...he turned and looked at me and started to shout, but again the loud ringing was dominant. He started to turn back to where he was shooting before, but a round impacted his head and he went limp.

I awoke with a start, my head was bandaged. I looked around the room, it was a very cozy little living room in which I appeared to be just tossed onto the sofa. “Ah...my fuckin’ head.” I said, rubbing the sore spot. A little bunny hopped into the room with a lit cigarette in his mouth, he hopped over to me. I looked at him inquisitively and he made the gesture of a lighter with his paws. “Need a light?” I asked, he nodded. I reached into my coat pocket for the little red disposable lighter I had and flicked it to life. The rabbit hopped over and extended his cigarette towards the flame, taking a drag and exhaling the smoke. He gave me a rock on sign and hopped away, only to be passed by a yellow pony with a pink mane.

“Oh! You’re awake! I’m so so sorry about that, Angel thought you were a monster and dropped a big rock on your head.” The pony explained. “Wait...the bunny that went by with a cigarette.” I asked, she nodded. “Dammit...he just bummed a light off me...little bast- jerk.” I didn’t want to insult her friend..or pet or whatever. “You’re Fluttershy, right?” I inquired as I sat up. “Y-yes...Twilight and Spike went to get some pain relievers and some more gauze since I used the last of mine on your head.” She replied, bowing her head, she has suddenly become shy on me...and by god it was adorable! “Well thank you, Fluttershy. My name is Hazen Rickett. I smiled at her, hoping to coax her to do the same...she lightened up a bit but not a lot.

After a short discussion about my world, humans and the animals of earth she had finally loosened up to a level that I didn’t feel like I was talking with a turtle in it’s shell. The door swung open and in stepped in Twilight and Spike with a small vial of pills, a package of gauze and two packs of “Unfiltered Saddle Arabian” cigarettes. Angel hopped up and took the packs of cigarettes and hopped over to Fluttershy. “Oh Angel...you need one?” The bunny nodded and Fluttershy opened one of the soft packs and pulled out a cigarette. She gave it to the rabbit who then hopped over to me, I took my lighter and lit his cigarette again then a thought came into my head. “Uh...could I see one of those?” I asked Angel, he nodded. Fluttershy handed over the open soft pack and I took one out and looked it over, it smelled just like an unfiltered Camel.

I exhaled a fair cloud of smoke, riding out a nice little head rush from the smoke...it was like Camel and American Spirit merged and made a damned fine Organic foreign cigarette, clean and flavorful. To be fair, I gave Angel one of my cigarettes, though I hoped he wouldn’t mind since it was a processed brand. He finished his Saddle Arabian and put the Marlboro Red in it’s place. I lit it and he seemed to enjoy it.

I left without the bandages, seeing as Flutters had just wrapped my head out of habit. We were off to try to find Twilight’s other friend who as she put it “Could be anywhere she can stroke her ego.”

I saw a cyan blur with a rainbow trail behind it traveling quite fast across the sky. I pointed out to Twilight who turned off in the direction of said blur and began to run, Spike bobbing up and down on her back, holding on for dear life. I followed the two across town and into a small clearing. It wasn’t a long jog, but it was refreshing compared to the sprinting I had done back in the sand...

A cyan pegasus pony with a rainbow mane and rainbow tail was stood in front of Twilight, and they were talking, Twilight pointed towards me with her hoof. Rainbow bolted towards me and flew all around me looking me over carefully. “Uh...hi.” I said, following her around her orbit.

“Can you fly?” the cyan pegasus asked me once she landed in front of me. “Not without a vehicle, sorry.” I said and she seemed quite disappointed. “Darn, I was hoping for some competition...” She shrugged “Eh, don’t worry about it dude...name’s Rainbow Dash.” Competition, more like someone else to smoke...shit she was going pretty fucking fast a minute ago. “Good to meet ya, I’m Hazen Rickette, just call me Hazen.” I said extending my hand, she put her hoof forward and we shook. “Well if you want some competition in something besides flying, I could give it a go.” I said jokingly, her smile went wide. “Really?!” I nodded and she looked ready to list off possibly every possible competition we could have, but Twilight stepped in and explained that we were busy...which was true, gotta get living arrangements settled.

We returned to Twilight’s library and discussed the issue over tea and dandelion sandwiches. “Well you could stay here, as cramped as it might be.” Twilight said levitating her cup to her lips and sipping at the tea. “I wouldn’t want to impose, I mean...” I started but she cut me off. “I insist, I cannot leave you out on the street or in the woods, that wouldn’t be right!” Well, looks like I’m crashing here for a while... “Thanks Twilight, I will pay back this favor how ever I can.”

The next few days were pretty uneventful, just hanging around and doing chores... turns out winter was coming soon, so I began chopping wood and piling it up beside the library. Chopping wood brought me back to when I would visit my grandmother in New Hampshire during the summers. It was taking a break, shirtless leaned up against the Library with an Saddle Arabian burning down between my lips when Twilight came out with a glass of water. “Ah, I got you on break, good. Here’s some water and thank you again, I can’t always have wood delivered during the winter.” She said levitating the glass into my waiting hand. “No, thank you for taking me in. This is the least I can do.” I took a large sip of the water, emptying half the glass in one pull. “Oh, by the way Princess Celestia sent a letter, she’ll send an escort to pick us up tomorrow afternoon.” I nodded. “Alright, I better go see if Rarity has my uniform ready, thank you Twi.” I petted her head, she smiled.

I was off to see Rarity for my uniform and tomorrow I would meet the rulers of this land...to say I was nervous was a fucking understatement...