I love you all, and a lot of you love me, let's move onto the show.

*The Wall of Flesh has been summoned*

"Merda, what does that mean? It doesn't sound pleasant"

"It can't be pleasant, that message was not cheery at all."

Ezio jumped into the air and flew upwards, looking over the horizon and in the town for anything, he needed to act fast if he wanted to stay alive and come out on top.

Trevor did what he always did when something threatening came up, pull out a gun, an M1014 in this case.

Lee backed up a few steps, wanting to stay out of range of whatever this 'wall of flesh' thing was, no matter what it actually was, it couldn't be good.

Wilson scratched at his cleanly shaven face, his voluminous beard having been burned off by the lava ball.

Golden Crest used his changeling magic to change to Evening Warden, he loaded up a plethora of battle magics.

"I'm not sure about this."

"Don't worry friend, we'll get through this battle, hopefully."

"Evening? Shouldn't you be back in Canterlot with Luna?" Celestia was confused, where was Crest and how did Warden get here?

"I came here as soon as I could after I heard the message of this Wall thing, in short, I teleported over."

"Come on ladies, let's get this su'm'bitch."

"I only hope that it isn't anything like Deerclops, or I'm just running."

Wilson was right, it wasn't anything like Deerclops, but he was right in the worst way possible, because it was much worse than Deerclops.

It's presence was announced by an angry growl and a sinister tune.

The Wall of Flesh sprouted upwards at an alarming speed, stretching out to about two hundred and fifty feet tall and twenty five feet wide. Two eyes opened up, both twenty feet wide and placed at the seventy five and two hundred twenty five feet marks. Many dozens of tentacles shot out of the surface, stretching twenty five feet long each. All the tentacles were capped off with hungry mouths, which gave them their name, The Hungry. A huge mouth, rectangular in shape, gaped open, going from the one hundred to the two hundred foot marks. The color of it all was, except for the eyes, magenta with splatters of red.

"By my mother's red mane, what in all the depths of tartarus is that?"

"Looks like one hell of a strip of bacon."

Ezio was panicking in the air, what was he going to do? He couldn't assassinate this! This thing was colossal! His wings flapped on their own accord, leaving him hovering idly, thinking of a plan of attack.

Trevor opened fire with an AK47, shooting the whole wall from bottom to top, just spraying bullets, they all found that whenever a bullet hit its eye, it just blinked and the eye was unharmed.

The assassin flew up to the top eye, bringing out his poison blade and falling onto it, raking his way through the cornea and releasing poison as he slid down.

*WRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAW* the beast roared as its eyes burst from the socket, raining down over thirty thousand gallons of ocular fluids onto the pegasus, soaking him from head to tail as he hooked onto the tentacles, decapitating each one as he swung around in a huge circle.

Celestia caught the enormous volume of liquid, heated it to a boil, and threw it back onto the wall, doing massive heat damage and lowering its defenses.

Lee made his way up to the wall, deciding to get within melee range, walking cautiously, right as he slashed at the wall with his cleaver, the thing started moving.

It slid forward on an ample sheet of blood, forcing the Georgian to starting running backwards, though the wall looked really tasty...

*OM NOM NOM*

The Wall of Flesh shrieked in surprise and pain, its magical corruptive power amplifying the intensity of this new fluid running through its massive veins.

Lee continued biting and chewing and eating the flesh, reveling in the taste of fresh kill, even though it wasn't dead yet, the whites of his eyes turned green and his irises turned red, his motions fueled by instinct, the desire to feed.

He was a walker, not at mind, but at heart, his blood flowed black and his instincts roared their way into his desires, pushing him to consume everything in his path.

Master Chief was sprinting towards the enemy's back side, gun aimed and firing, spilling huge amounts of dark blood. When he was close enough, he punched the meaty surface, the force of impact lacerating off a huge sheet of flesh.

A large tongue grabbed the armored soldier, ripping itself in half by trying to lift him, then three tongues came out to take its place, lifting him with ease.

"Great, I haven't had very good experiences with this."

The tongues pulled him through the thick mass, forcing him to be in front of the wall. Each muscly length was now capping by a mouth, turning them into more of The Hungry.

"Chief, biotic scans report that the enemy is called 'Wall of Flesh', and is currently at fifty three percent life, approximately four thousand two hundred and forty points of health."

John was freed from The Hungry by several bullets blowing the ravenous maws to smithereens.

"Four thousand points."

*GRAAAAOOOOOOOWWWW* another loud roar, this one more of a scream, and The Hungry fought a little harder.

John checked his equipment again, two spare BR clips, three spare DMR clips, four spare M6H clips, the energy sword, and...

Oh ho ho...

Seven plasma grenades.

One plasma grenade to the mouth, its ragged lips snapped down on the device, and a huge hole was blown open in the middle.

"Three thousand five hundre- oh wait, more shots, three thousand three hundred thirty three."

Wilson looked at this gargantuan foe with wide eyes, Dark Sword held feebly in his hand.

His life flashed before his eyes, birth, childhood, teenage age, adult life, moving out into the woods, everything in the life of Wilson Percival Higgsbury, even the mourning of his cousin William and the first attempt at creating a Meat Effigy, then the whole thing with Maxwell.

Dear god how he hated Maxwell, he hated that whole world, he wanted to watch it burn.

His ambitions had always been higher, higher than mere survival.

'Here I wait in fear, with a sword in my feeble hands...'

A new feeling, one he hadn't felt in a long time, a feeling that he thought was lost to his fragile mind.

Courage, he felt himself fill up with the emotion, it burned into his bones, boiled his blood, scorched his muscles, he felt strength, more than he ever had before.

He had had dreams of ruling the world, and now he felt like he could do it.

'If I am to complete my dream to be a king, first, I should be a man!'

"YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" the scientist called out, charging at the meaty abomination.

He swung as fast and hard as he could, his legs moving backwards as his hands moved with purpose.

"Three thousand two hu- two thousand six hundred fif- I can't announce fast enough."

With Lee eating it, Wilson assaulting it, and now Trevor had pulled out a Barrett-M82, the Wall of Flesh might as well have been getting raped for all how much luck it had at the moment.

Ezio brought himself down on the lower eye, doing a quick fly-by and cutting through it horizontally, spilling a similar titanic amount of liquid, which Celestia paused in her fireball assault to catch, boil, and throw it back.

Master Chief high-jumped at its mouth with the Energy Sword.

Wilson put his all into a final slash.

Lee punctured himself into the mass.

Trevor fired one of his rocket launchers into the mouth.

Ezio bore down like an eagle on its prey.

*SHICK-KLEW-BOOOOOOOOM* the sound of rending flesh, followed by an explosion of epic proportions.

Chunks of monster meat fell from the sky, raining onto where the boss had slid to, which was town square.

*THUNK-CLINK CLINK* a box fell onto the street, a box made of some sort of iridescent bricks.

*Wall of Flesh has been defeated*

*Michael the Guide has arrived*

Everyone calmed down at the message, all of the bits and pieces of the Wall faded from existence, as if by magic, leaving no trace of what was rampaging through the streets except for the brick box.

"Thank god that all we have to deal with is a normal guy." Chief walked over to the box of stone, looking it over for any way to open it.

*TINK* came a sound from, inside the box, "Geh meh ou of he'e" came muffled speech.

John simply uppercut the top off, freeing Michael from the inside.

The guide jumped over the six foot wall of the box with ease.

"Nice to see you're alive, buddy."

"I must say, chap, I'm glad that you're only you."

"Bene," Ezio said as he gestured for Evening to change him back to human form.

Evening complied, his bolt of neon green energy removing the transformation.

"There are plenty of goodies in here, as there always are when one kills a boss." the guide gestured to the inside of the box, tipping it over to let the stuff inside pour out.

It was somehow innately obvious who got what.

Trevor received a box inside the box, "Boxception.". Inside the box that was inside the main box was a bunch of armored vests and a skeleton key. And that was all it gave.

Chief received a refreshing of magazines for his rifles and pistol, bringing him back up to full. A special little trinket was given to him as well. And by 'special little trinket' I mean 'motherfucking Spartan Laser'. And that was all it gave.

Lee receive several medical vials, as well as several reusable syringes. The vials were labeled Norm, Boom, Smoke, Hunt, Jock, Spit, Cry, a tiny one with only one dosage named 'Rage', and a much larger vial named 'Zombrex'.

Ezio received a tomahawk, a crossbow with a closable quiver full of bolts, and several shards of gold carvings, cut into strange shapes that fit together into a bowl shape. "These designs, they look familiar." And a small box with some hidden blade parts, a few of which he did not recognize.

Wilson received a thing called the Dream Amulet. It, upon donning, turned the Dark Sword into a twig. "Was it always like this?". He pressed the button on the cloudy amulet, which turned the twig into a claymore of ivory light.

Michael received a Lucky Horseshoe, Shiny Red Balloon, and Cloud in a Bottle. Another box, this one smaller than Trevor's, but more ornate and fancy.

He tentatively opened the box, hoping nothing bad would happen.

*The Spirits of Dark have awakened to balance the Light*

Each of the protagonists' minds ran through a single statement.

'It's only funny until someone gets hurt, then its hilarious.'

'I'll save you a lot of time by giving you the truth, I'm here to kill you, and you're going to die.'

'Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, I'll leave you alive, writhing on the floor.'

'My duties are to my friends and to the Creed, but I am loyal only to myself.'

'I would give everything I have to make sure that I, and not you, will the light of tomorrow.'

'There is great power in the world, do you have the guts to claim it?'

Inside were six pieces of fancy jewelry, Celestia recognized them as almost the exact same as the Elements of Harmony, but the gems were different.

A gray key for Laughter, an green eagle with a shield for a torso for Honesty, a brown horseshoe around an off-white skull for Kindness, a red tear-drop looking shape for Loyalty, a simple circle with a line running out of the top and bottom for Generosity, and a pale yellow and dusk purple Yin-Yang symbol for Magic.

"The Destructive Elements of Harmony, embodiments of the bad side of harmony. They are sick laughter, brutal honesty, cruel kindness, selfish loyalty, violent generosity, and evil magic. The Pure Elements of Harmony are the stuff that banish the nightmares from the light. This is the stuff that makes nightmares fear the light."

"How do you know? How are you all the bearers?" Celestia knew the forbidden tale of forgotten lore, it was dangerous to the stability of the world if ponies saw the Element of Harmony as anything less than relics of incorruptible pure pureness.

"The powers that be have chosen us to bear these, for we possess the type of light that the dark fears."

"I see, then I guess there is no denying it. You, all of you, you are destined to be here, to be heroes of our world, I thank you for your brave and noble acts."

Trevor, Ezio, and Wilson tried to look away, while they couldn't say anything for Chief, Lee, and Michael, they and their acts were anything but brave and noble.

"So, does this mean we get a party in our honor?"

"I heard PARTY!" Pinkie jumped out of the cobblestones.

"Hell YEAH!"

"A celebration sounds most enjoyable." Ezio politely nodded, looking at the super-soldier in fear.

"Altair's right, I could use some celebration and good cheer after what I've been through."

"A parade in my honor? I can honestly say that it's hard to refuse that."

"As long as I can look dapper there, I agree."

"I'd say that it's settled then, when is the party?"

Pinkie grabbed all six of the heroes, and spun them around, their ears rang for a few seconds as they opened their eyes and found themselves at the party already.

"Did we just go through a wormhole?"

"It seemed more like a teleportation."

Ponies were already gathered in Sugarcube Corner, and cheered at seeing the guests of honor, those that defeated the evil Wall of Flesh.

The party went on like any normal Pinkie Pie Party, everyone had a wonderful time.

Master Chief and Wilson were in a match of darts, the former threw them hard enough to rivet them to the board, the latter used his blowpipe to hit bull's-eyes every time.

"How are you doing that?"

"I hunt birds with this thing."

Lee and Ezio drank half the punch bowl during their conversation.

"So, this stuff, it is a powder made from many things, including sugar and fruit essence, and that is mixed with water, making this drink, and the lemons add more flavor?"

"Yeah, it's good, isn't it?"

"It is a bit tart for my tastes, I wonder though..." Ezio pulled out his flask, which he had filled with fine wine, and poured it into the glass.

The assassin took a sip of the new liquid, "Much better, tell me, Sir Lee, do you drink often?"

Lee chose his words as carefully as he always did, he could say: he didn't ever have reason to, he couldn't afford to, he didn't have much liquor where he was from, he was straight-edged.

"No, Altair, I don't, I couldn't afford to where I was from."

"Oh poor soul, here take this as a token of our friendship." Ezio handed over a pouch of gold coins he took from a chest he had seen in town.

"What? No, I don't mean I couldn't afford it with money, I meant I couldn't take the risk of being drunk in Georgia, it was too dangerous."

"You're from Georgia?"

"Yeah, family and all."

"Did you ever visit the Turks?"

"The Turks? Like from Turkey?"

"Yes, Georgia is right next to Turkey, ooh how about Russia? I always heard it was very cold there."

"Oh, oh sorry no, I'm from the state of Georgia, in America."

"America? Sound like Amerigo Vespucci, did people already go there?

"What are you talking about? America's been around since 1607, declared independence in 1776, earned said independence in 1783. It's been around since then, it's 2011 now."

"One of us is wrong, then, because the last time that I checked, it was 1513."

Lee sat there, shellshocked at this revelation, "Is that AD?"

"Yes, come, we'll ask one of the ponies, surely they will clarify."

"What'cha clarifying?" Rainbow Dash flew over to the pair.

"Hello, yes, what year is it?"

"Dude, it's like, 1003 AN."

"What?"

"What does AN mean?"

"It means After Nightmare, everypony knows that."

"We aren't ponies, Miss..."

"Oh yeah, right, I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestria, and you are?"

"Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, Mentore del Assassino."

"Lee, history teacher from Georgia."

"Cool, so I hear that you" the Pegasus pointed at 'Altair', "Are some sort of counterpart thingy to my Element of Loyalty?"

"I was informed of the Element of Loyalty, yes."

"Y'wanna race?"

"I can accept a race, I'm a healthy young man, so, here's the rules, it's on the ground, no wings, winner gets to decide a punishment for the loser." the assassin had been de-aged for three hours and was already up to his old wily tricks, he knew he would win in a land race, he just wanted to see what this pegasus could do.

"I've never backed down from a challenge before, and I'm not gonna let some hoo-man make me look weak, challenge accepted." she punctuated her acceptance by crossing her arms and narrowing her gaze.

The daredevil spat on her hoof and held it out for a deal-sealing hoofbump.

The assassin looked at the hoof in minor disgust, using a napkin to dry it.

"Just bump your hand-thingy on my hoof."

"Oh." the master was poorly out of touch with these 'modern' customs, but clenched his fist and bumped it against Rainbow's hoof

With the deal sealed, the two headed outside to begin their little race.

"Oh, um, hello, Mister Lee."

Lee barely caught the voice with his infection-enhanced hearing, and lowered his gaze from the ceiling to the yellow pegasus in front of him.

"Oh, hello... uh, what's your name?"

Fluttershy gave a small smile, this man was supposed to be another form of the Element of Kindness, and his gentle tone showed for it.

"I'm Flu-flutter-shy." the butter-colored mare gave a squeak.

Lee felt his heart melt at the sight, how could something be this cute? He felt a sort of protective bond form between him and the pegasus, a lot like with the bond between him and Clementine, a young girl and a fatherly man.

"How old are you?"

"T-t-t-twenty th-th-three." while his gentle tone and friendly smile were reassuring, Fluttershy saw that his eyes held a lot of hate and a lot of hurt.

"How are y-? What the f-? What? How old are you ponies?"

"Well, um... Rainbow is nineteen, almost twenty, Applejack is twenty, same with Rarity, Twilight turned twenty one this year, Pinkie is twenty two, and I'm twenty three, but you already knew that last part."

"Huh, I'm thirty seven, by the way. It's just kinda odd to find out that you ponies are so aged, this place, it's like a cartoon or something, I bet Clementine would love it here though."

"Who's Clementine? Is she your daughter?"

"You know, you're the ninth person to ask me that, and seven of the other eight are dead, the eighth is Clementine herself." Lee slapped himself both mentally and physically after realizing just how goddamn demented, murderous, and evil that sounded. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize what I was saying, I didn't mean to sound threatening or anything." it didn't work, Fluttershy was now cowering in fear, whimpering and giving the occasional squeak.

Lee could try to repair the situation with words, be more of a threat to her (which was right off the list once the thought crossed his head), stay silent, or hug her and console her.

Fluttershy squeaked particularly loud when she felt a pair of fatherly arms wrap around her, pulling her in for a hug.

"Shh-shh-sh-sh-shhhhhhh, calm down, it's gonna be okay. I'm sorry for coming off so scary, it's just that between going through some of the things that I went through, and keeping count of the people who asked me that, I just forgot how to respond. Listen, I never killed a person, only monsters, the other people who asked me if Clementine was my daughter were killed by the monsters too, I almost got killed by one myself. Clementine, when we first met, she had been hiding out in her treehouse, and thought that I was her dad until she saw me. I've seen a lot of bad stuff, but I've come out on top in the end, and I hope that you'll forgive me and help me through this whole Elements of Harmony business. Please, just, just don't hate me."

Fluttershy locked eyes with him, she could see the pain they held draining out, the irises seemed to change from a sickly red to a soft brown. He could feel, and she could tell, that she had helped him cut open a boil to let the poison drain. The pegasus also recognized the phrase that she herself used many times, 'please don't hate me', it was odd being on the receiving end of it, but her smile brightened his visage.

"Thank you, I... I needed that, going through all that I did, it really changes somebody."

Fluttershy only whispered sweet nothings into Lee's ear as the two hugged it out.

The two crazy partiers were still dancing after almost everypony else left, then Trevor retrieved a bag of cocaine from his hammerspace pockets.

"Oh hell yeah, come on, Pinks, let's do some lines!"

"Okay!"

It started normal enough, lines on the table, maybe some lines on the floor, then it escalated, some highlights include Pinkie snorting a pile out of a party cup, Trevor snorting a layer of cocaine off of Pinkie's cutie mark, and Pinkie snorting off a cocaine moustache from Trevor's face, and finally the two doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous:

The Cinnamon challenge...

With cocaine...

If they weren't protagonists, they'd be dead right now.

Luckily they are, so they're just really, really unconscious at the moment, most likely due to sensory overload.

"Again, I'm very sorry about what happened, Lady Rarity, I simply could not control myself."

"I understand, I was once in your position too, darling, though I merely became a hoarder, rather than... the point is that I, as well as my friends, have been in your position, a loss of control, the travesties! It was simply awful, but we got through it."

"I can see the results, if I didn't know better, I'd say that you never encountered Discord at all."

"Oh trust me, he is a brute, a true monster, he attempted to turn me and my friends away from Harmony."

"Speaking of Harmony, what are the Elements, I didn't catch much information."

"Well, darling, there are six parts: I and you are Generosity, Rainbow Dash and that Altair fellow are Loyalty, Fluttershy and Lee... aaaawwwww, look at them."

Wilson looked over to the dark skinned man and the butter colored mare, they were hugging, he had to admit that it warmed his heart. To see something so precious, even if it were as simple as a heartfelt hug, it caused the beasts of insanity to be pushed and shoved and packed away into a tiny box that lay at the bottom of his mental reserves.

"*ahem* Right, they are Kindness, John, I think his name is, or was it Chief" Whoever he is, and Applejack, are Honesty, Trevor and Pinkie Pie are Laughter, and Twilight, our unspoken leader and the glue that holds us together, she and your friend Michael are Magic."

"Interesting, so I presume that Michael is our unspoken leader?"

"I hate to say it darling, but his temporary... falling... it incited the five of you to act in great measure to bring him back, fighting that abominable monster until it spat your friend back up."

"I guess, I guess it did, I felt something in that moment, I felt courage, I hadn't felt courage in almost a year, only desperation and hopelessness. My life was quite awful, here's to hoping that it'll be better from now on."

The two raised their glasses in a toast and took a drink.

"I must ask, lady Rarity, who is that little chap over there?" he pointed his spindly finger over to the baby dragon standing in the corner, a brief, indignant glare was cast Wilson's way, which made Wilson curious.

"Oh, that's just Spike, he is quite the dearie, but simply too naïve for my tastes."

"What is he?"

"He's a dragon, a baby dragon at that. He has this hopeless crush on me, and it simply wouldn't work out."

"Hmm..." Wilson had an idea, he was supposed to be the Element of Generosity, right? Well he was going to do something generous.

He was going to try to play matchmaker.

"Excuse me, lady Rarity, but I have some business that I must attend to."

Without waiting for a response, the short scientist walked off.

"Y'alright sugarcube? I juss realized ya haven't said much."

"No, I haven't, sorry, I'm just... *cough* kinda tired."

"Are ya sure? Ya didn't seem like it earlier."

"I'm sure, I haven't slept in a long time, I haven't rested in even longer, ugh... Cortana, status report?"

The programmed hologram image of the AI appeared several inches from the Spartan's helmet.

"Ammunition reserves are at maximum capacity, entity.MJOLNIR6.pbma energy levels at eighty sev- eighty six percent, entity.Cortana2.aiu at one hundred percent construction."

"Thanks, I... really needed that."

"Do you juss need somewhere to sleep, Sugarcube?"

"Yes, do you have somewhere?"

"Yes sirree I do, follow me."

The massive man stood up and followed the farmer outside and away from the party, eager to get some long-deserved and hard-earned rest.

"I have to say, it's really exciting to find not one, but six members of a new species in one day, and you're already half accepted into society, I feel like this can be the start of a wonderful friendship, Michael."

"Yes, Twilight, I must say, I know a lot about you, and it is an honor to be in your presence."

"What do you mean? I'm just a regular old unicorn."

"Regular? You're anything but. A national hero three times over, personal protégé of Princess Celestia at the age of five, five amazing friends who share both a normal and supernatural bond with you. You've a thousand times the magic of a normal unicorn. If I was you, I would be hard-tasked to stop myself from proclaiming my achievements. I can tell that you've a problem with being prideful, is it because of what happened with Trixie? You're friends recognize that you are genuine and legitimate in your achievements, letting others know isn't a bad thing. Heroes are praised as messiahs for a lot less than what you have done, so having your way a few times won't hurt any PR of yours. If it were up to me, you'd be a princess in your own right. Did you know that an alicorn's magical power is equivalent to a thousand unicorns? You also have the magical power of a thousand unicorns. I'm sorry, I've gone on a tangent, but my point is that a pony like you would be one of a kind, because the only pony like you, is you."

Twilight was struck speechless, how did this human know so much about her? Never mind that, he was seriously suggesting that she act more proud of herself. It was true, everything he said was true, she was one of a kind, and she earned her achievements, each and every one of them.

"Now that I think about it, I'd have to say that you're right. I could definitely afford to act with a little more self-respect and pride, maybe more confidence."

"My saying is: There is great power out there, do you have the guts to go out there and claim it? Well, Twilight, you didn't claim it with guts, you claimed it with friendship. It would do wonders for your life if you grew the guts to be a little daring. I'm not saying try the spell without reading the effects, I'm saying don't check the list that third time. Remember, if you don't live for something, you'll die for nothing. If you don't live on the edge, you can't see the view. It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees. It's better to live one day as the might lion than a hundred years as the negligible worm. Do you understand or need I continue?"

"How do you know all this?"

"I'm the Guide, it's my job to know things. I ask again, do you understand, or need I continue?"

"Um... go ahead, continue."

"This is your life. Do what you want and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over-analysing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Life is simple. Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion.”

Twilight didn't say anything, she just looked at Michael's slight smile, then at the ground, absorbing the words he had spoken.

This was odd, she felt something inside of her break, a flood of emotions swirling through her mind, almost driving her to throw up. Then she zoomed over to a nearby trashcan and threw up. Her head was spinning, her thoughts were racing, she knew it was true, Michael's words were words of wisdom.

Twilight vowed to live her life a lot better, not caring so much about how many years there were, and caring a lot more about what substance the years held.

Celestia trotted along the path, her destination was near.

She stopped in front of the one statue that wasn't really a statue, the one statue that she despised more than any other.

"Discord."

"Celestia."

"Still your magical tongue, Discord, or I will slag you."

"Oh how scary, wouldn't that just melt the stone off of me?"

"I said still your tongue, I refuse to put up with your shit any longer."

"And what has caused this sudden change of heart?"

"You released a killer in Ponyville."

"I did not." his tone was indignant, as indignant as someone trapped in stone could sound.

"Yes you did, poor Wilson was scared to death after I found out about your 'guidance', I'm stopping you once and for all, Discord."

"I didn't guide him to do anything, I offered him a chance at freedom, a chance to return to his home, and he accepted it. It was his and his alone, actions, that he committed, not mine. Humans are funny, Tia, they act brave in the beginning, and bookend it with more bravery, but the middle is what's great."

"Would you care to tell me?"

"I thought I was supposed to 'still my tongue', lest I be slagged?"

"I will temporarily lift that threat so that you may explain the 'human' thing."

"Okay, well, first: you have a huge flank, and I like it, and I cannot lie."

"Tell me about the HUMANS you crazy old bastard."

"Old? I'll have you know that I am only nine thousand and five hundred years old."

"HUMANS!"

"Fine fine, don't get your royal panties in a bunch, impatient twat. Humans' campaigning begins and bookends with bravery, but the middle bit is interesting. You see, there is a method to it, bravery, then charm, then seduction, then threatening, then intimidation, then bluffing, then trickery, then diplomacy, then bartering, then bargaining, then violence, and the violence is always so beautifully chaotic, it brings a lava to my eyes."

"I don't think that they can be so easily listed like files in a cabinet or flavors on a menu."

"Okay, what I said was only traits of them, but they do do all that stuff, I love humans. They are the perfect creatures of chaos, in fact, if it weren't for me and my beautiful face, they would be the poster children for the very concept of chaos."

"I know that you're trying to make me distrust them, and you almost succeeded in one case, but I'm not going to be fooled. You made Wilson a killer. You released a killer in Ponyville."

"Two things, one: I didn't make Wilson a killer, Wilson made Wilson a killer long before he was in Equestria, and two: I did not release a killer into Ponyville, I released five, get it right, stupid cunt."

Celestia was taken aback by Discord's words, not the insult, but the part before it.

"F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-five?"

"Nice Fluttershy impression, and yes, five."

"Who?"

"Who do you think? Wilson, Altair, Lee, John, and Trevor, you should see their kill counts, whooooo, incredible."

"How much?"

"Trevor has caused enough money in property damage alone to buy Canterlot and build a second one, John has successfully run over two hundred military campaigns and only lacks one medal, the 'Prisoner of War' medal, Lee survived four months in a world infested with zombies, and killed a state senator, 'Altair' has killed 90,793 people, Wilson once killed a god of darkness and insanity."

"And Michael?"

"What about Michael?"

"What evils has he done?"

"Oh, he's clean, I said five, and he's the six of them, sorry to disappoint you, Tia."

"Don't you dare call me 'Tia', I am above such foalish pet names." it was a lie, but she only let Luna call her Tia.

"If you say so, Celly, say, tomorrow, could you bring me a pack of cigarettes? I'm getting a craving for some."

"I'm leaving now."

Without waiting for a response, the solar diarch turned and trotted away.

Doubts still crept into her mind, what if Discord was correct in his assumptions? Even if one of those pieces of information was true, it would be absolutely terrible, the Destructive Elements of Harmony weren't exactly the best things to be the bearers of, anyways, and if any of these heroes turned out to be anti-heroes, well... Celestia didn't know what to do.

One thing still remained the same, she would visit Discord tomorrow, but something would change, this time she would actually bring him something he had requested.

It was weird, it was odd, it was strange and new and it was a change in the norm. Chaos included simple change, but Discord was a mischievous bastard, and he couldn't be trusted...

Or could he?

Maybe he could be reformed? It was a long shot, but it was possible, and having the god of chaos on one's side wasn't exactly a bad thing.

The goddesses of the Sun, Moon, and Love, the god of Chaos, and the Elements of Harmony, these would be the things that would keep her nation's many enemies at bay.

Celestia only hoped that tartarus wouldn't break loose and destroy everything.

It was a faint hope, but it was still there.

Author's Notes:

Trevor: 91a3b0 (cadet gray)
Master Chief: 8a9a5b (moss green)
Lee: 7b3f00 (chocolate brown)
Ezio: default red text setting
Wilson: default violet text setting
Michael/Guide: default blue text setting
Celestia: default yellow text setting
Golden Crest: default orange text setting.
and each of the Mane 6 will have their respective text color settings.

I'll post this list on every chapter, just for the sake of convenience while writing.

I know you can't carry as much in the game as Chief is carrying in the story, but fuck what the game says, Chief can carry all of his stuff, and Ezio has a slightly changed look.

Lots of color-coded conversations, I think I'm starting to get better at those.

Discord is up to his mischievous ways again, even from beyond the stone, don't worry, while he's trapped, he can't use any chaos powers without a host, and Wilson nearly became his host. By the way, his age, 9500, divide that by 500, and you have his age in developmental years. Discord's age is just a bit of my head-canon, that's all.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, please post your opinions and reactions in the comment section below, and remember:

P1: Remember fans, do drugs, stay out of school, and don't eat vegetables.