Good reception so far, ON WITH THE SHOW!

"Your queen is missing? Do you have any idea of where she might be?" Ezio asked, deciding to join wide-eyed creature, maybe these things was actually really normal here.

Yeah, what if these bug-horses were widely accepted as nice and friendly beings?

"Sssshe isss near, wassss ssssent flying far into foresssst, I've been ssssearching for hourssss," the black thing lisped, looking a bit sad.

"What's your name? What are you, in fact?" the killer asked with a tone like a gently-caring father. He stroked his beard, which had changed to brown.

"I am Chitin Sssshard, a changeling," Chitin answered, feeling like he could trust this thing.

"I am, well, I already told you my name, but I am a human, a man, or male, as the scholars say. Tell me, are there others like you?" 'Altair' asked, giving no hint of any reason for the changeling to doubt him.

"Yesss, there issss a whole hive of changelingsssss, Queen Chryssalissssss issssss our glorioussssss ruler, we were recently thrown out of Canterlot by the princesssss, ssshe isssss a vile sssscum, the poniessss are evil, not like us changelingsssss. All we need issss love, and thossse cruel poniessss wouldn't give usssss any, but you Altair, I can sssenssssse that you are a caring persssson, would you give usss ssssome love?" Chitin explained, his lisp sizzling into the assassin's ears like meat grease dripping into a fire.

"Let us wait until after I've met the Queen, shall we?" he politely refused.

*BUZZZZZZZZ* the sound of a swarm of insects caught his ears, he activated his eagle vision.

He nearly pissed his pants, dozens of presences, all around him, but they were green, which meant neutral.

"Ah, Chitin Shard, you have returned, and you brought a... thing... I can feel the love coming out of this thing, tell me, do you speak?" Chrysalis asked, flipping her mottled turquoise mane and giving a charming smile.

"I am Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, I come from Rome, in Italy, I presume that you are Queen Chrysalis?" he kept his manners about him, getting down on one knee in the presence of such a respectable noble.

"Yes, I must say that I love your accent, Istaly you said?" the queen asked, dismissing all but Chitin Shard and a black armored horse.

"Um, yes, 'Istaly', I am from Rome." anything to keep his cover.

"Wonderful, I have never been to Roam, tell me, are the streets as violent as they are full of PDAs?"

"Full of what?"

"Public displays of affection, I adore those, so easy to feed on the love,"

"I see, no, no PDAs, but there is plenty of violence, which is why I always come prepared,"

"Interesting, I'd say that you would be perfect for a mission to take out a tyrant,"

"I am the perfect person to execute such a mission, but here are my terms." one didn't get to be the leader of the assassin's without a few skills in deal-making.

"Alright, what are these terms?"

"I want a map, a location, a compass, and some payment,"

"How much payment?"

"What am I going up against?"

"An entire castle of armored guards to get to the target, and said target is a large mare who controls the sun,"

"Sounds like myth, but I'll do it, for fifty thousand."

"Well, luckily we have no use for pony money, but how would you do this for us?"

"You can call it parkour, but I do it 'hardcore'. My dexterous hands make killing into an art form. Death's cold taste is sweet as Honeyed Boar. I believe that there is no reason to start a war over a difference of opinion."

"Oh great, a philosopher,"

Ezio didn't hear her, "But give me the name of your antagonist, and I'll stick them in the ribs," a flick of the wrist revealed his hidden blade, with gleamed in the obscured light.

"Wait, what? Is it really that simple? How is this that oozing simple?"

"Because, I'm an assassin,"

"What kind?"

"One with a passion, for innovative swagger," he did a slow twirl, showing off his highly stylized and very fashionable garments.

"How fast can you do the mission?

"I'll drop her so fast, you'd probably have a problem to follow my actions."

"You're weaponry seems primitive, I have not seen a sword like that in many decades,"

"I'm part of the Creed, we're so ahead of our time, we might as well be walking backwards,"

"What else do you do?"

"I'm a scholar of Latin, with a Master's in Dispatching,"

"Why should we pay you?"

"Because anybody that hassling one of my customers, I'll cut them up, and shut them up in a casket,"

"Ooh, that sounds wonderful, how would I get you to do that in particular?"

"All you've got to do is ask, and then I'll have grabbed them and then stabbed them in the abdomen,"

"Again, how quickly?"

"That minute, and I'll be finished with the killing before you've finished with asking."

"You paint yourself in a master's light, how am I sure that you are capable of this?"

"I'm a bird of prey, with an exterminating murder rate, I serve plates of pain up, like a perverse buffet. I'll take anyone to the pearly gates. I'll impersonate a passerby, they wouldn't bat an eye, until their circulation's pacified. So practiced I couldn't count the crimes and perpetrations, how many spines and vertebrates I've snapped. My killings affect history and time's reverberations, and generations are permeated, from an old assassin's devastations, to the earthly kill-list. So I'd say this was... a revelation,"

"I'm convinced, here, take the map and the compass. I've marked the map with our location and the location of the target. Her name is Celestia, my spy Mirror Eyes will help you get close enough to her." Chrysalis levitated over the map and compass 'Altair' had requested.

"Thank you, anything to help the world prosper," Ezio replied, taking the items, "By the way, might I ask how you did that?" he asked, referring to the levitation.

"It's magic, not much to explain," the changeling queen shrugged.

"I shall not question it further, then," Ezio gave a quick stretch, whatever had brought him here, it was kind enough to rejuvenate his youth, if only a bit, he had been about fifty seven before, now he felt thirty three.

"Come, her highness has not much of an open window of opportunity," Mirror Eyes directed, casting a spell to change his dull gray coat into a bright white one, the black armor with turquoise accents changed to gold armor with ruby accents.

"Alright then, say, how did you do that?" the assassin asked once the two were far enough out of earshot.

"Changeling magic, I am a paladin, or at least, I pose as one for each of the great powers, I am a unicorn of many names, Mirror Eyes of the changelings, Golden Crest of Celestia, Evening Warden of Luna, Emerald Embrace of Mi Amore Cadenza, and Shift-Perception of Discord. From here on out, unless I change forms, refer to me as Golden Crest," the altered paladin explained, leading the way with a ball of light in front of him.

"Interesting, very interesting indeed," 'Altair' whispered, staying low and quiet in case of emergency.

Little did the master and the paladin know, the fecal matter would soon make contact with the rotary air-circulation device.

"So, Cortana, any information?" John asked, he had been wandering around this forest for several minutes now, his armored form creating small shockwaves with every step.

"No, I can detect telecommunication devices, but they're too primitive for anything I can manage," the blue hologram answered, it was strange indeed, had she and her soldier been blown back a few centuries?

His weaponry was severely under-prepared, after cleaning the frost out of his rifles, he check his stocks, only one hundred and eighty six rounds for three different firearms, would he manage to get by on just that? He hoped that support came soon enough.

A rustling came from the bushes.

*rustle rustle*

"Hm? the supersoldier hummed as he got into stance, his rifle aimed at whatever would come through the bushes in front of him.

*RUSTLE RUSTLE* it was closer now, how much longer would it take? He stayed vigilant, who knew whenever something would jump out it would be right in his sig-

He was hit from behind.

Of course, weighing half a ton didn't do a lot for stability when you're hit by a combined weight of about three thousand pounds, the mass knocking him to the ground.

The dark skinned man somehow had that meat cleaver still, and the small axe-like weapon was now being used to fight off some sort of wooden wolves.

"GAH, I'm not going down that easily!" he cried out in defiance as a wolf's bite tore into his arm, earning the arboreal beast a hard punch to the head, shattering the shell of sticks, twigs, leaves, and geo-biotic magic, killing it instantly.

The other two wolves howled in a small bout of mourning over their dead companion, and starting coming in close to this wretched prey. Lee backed up, not sure whether to protect his face, neck, torso, or crotch. He settled for cringing away after several feet, waiting for not only the wooden wolves, but a massive lion-thing that had just appeared, to attack.

The incessant rustling sound of the four predators going through the bushes was brought to its crescendo, sending the large man falling into a clearing and toppling over some hard and metallic.

Master Chief rolled several feet away, and laid there for several moments, checking his systems.

Lee swung the cleaver hard, hitting one of the two wolves and creating a large gash on the lion-beast's bat wing. The manticore hissed in pain and wrenched the cleaver from Lee's hand with its teeth, throwing it far away.

"Oh shit!" Lee shouted as he took another step back and tripped on something.

The other wolf pounced him, which meant he needed to 'q' his way out, it was something his father had taught him.

'Cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-EEEEE!' his internal thoughts raced, strength finding him and filling his muscles, he threw the wolf a few feet back, then caught it's second pounce with his foot, kicking it into the manticore.

"How has history helped me in such a cruel way?" he studied a bit of history, and with it came mythology, and he knew that this lion-beast was a manticore.

The only way this knowledge helped, was he would know what killed him.

His gaze turned to the object on the ground, he picked up the heavy device and tried swinging it in a sideways fist-slamming motion.

A pair of translucent blue blades of light formed at the two ends, both going forward, and both stabbing the timberwolf in the face.

His lower body was showered with sticks and branches, what just happened?

The manticore backed away from this scary light, animal instinct drove it to think that something bright and hot was something to be feared. Lee began waving the energy sword at the massive monster.

Master Chief completed his system check and got to his feet, watching some civilian handling his precious energy sword.

Lee swiped at the manticore again, trying to think about how to use a sword properly, "Alright, swish, swish, stab!" he shouted, the heavy handle causing his arm to swing a bit sluggishly.

The manticore backed away from the first swish, took a searing cut to the nose with the second swish, and was about to get stabbed, when suddenly...

The sword shut off, Lee's strong arms just weren't strong enough to keep the necessary force upon the grip to keep the sword activated.

Stuck in an awkward lean, Lee tried to pull himself back, but lacked the core strength and leverage to do so. Luckily Master Chief shoulder-tackled the giant lion-bat-scorpion love-child, knocking it away from the civilian.

The manticore roared as loud as it could, angry that its prey had dared to try to fight back. It tried to flare out its wings and fly up, but the prey became the predators. Chief pulled out his M6H and fired into the monster's shoulder, Lee's eyes went red and glassy as he used his teeth to tear one of the bat wings apart, driven by a sick madness.

Together, with a mad, ravenous mauling, and a bullet fired into the manticore's head, the two protagonists won the fight, dismounting the corpse and putting away their respective weapons..

"Thanks *snort* man *spit*," Lee thanked, hacking up a bit of bile and spitting it onto the dead animal.

"I do my duty, civilian, who are you?" the soldier asked, checking everything again.

"Uh, my name is Lee, what about you?" the black-haired man informed, skinning a handkerchief-sized patch of furry hide and wiping the blood off of his mouth.

"I am Petty Officer Master Chief of the UNSC, soldier name John-117,"

"Whoa, you special forces or something?" the survivor queried, straightening and smoothing out his clothes.

"I was Spartan-II, but am now classified as Spartan-IV, Spartan combat veteran," the Chief explained, wiping a bit of dirt off of his visor.

"That sounds... really neat, I'd like to hear some combat stories, but I think we should get out of this forest, I've had bad experiences with forests," Lee insisted, remembering the whole episode with the Dairy and the cannibal family who ran it, the whole time, it seemed like getting close to trees was practically a death wish.

"I shall lead the way, we will find the nearest civilization, get you on a transport home, and I shall return to the station," the green juggernaut led the way, his footsteps still causing tiny tremors throughout the ground.

"What kind of military guy comes from a 'station'? I thought you all had bases." the former teacher narrowed his eyes in distrust of the armor-clad 'soldier'

"It's a space station, civilian, they're quite common," John responded, not breaking stride or anything.

"Space station? How the fuck would people still be in space stations almost five months into a goddamn pandemic!" this was ridiculous to Lee, but John caught a detail.

"Perhaps, this might make a lot of sense, but perhaps the two of us come from different universes? Even where I'm from, a machine that acts as a UI to people, is still in the prototype stages, I presume that such a thing for you would be hardly more than wild mass speculation and theories," the soldier didn't like the answers that were the best, he liked the answers that made the most sense, and this answer fell under the first category.

"Yeah, actually, it is, so alternate dimensions, eh?" a somewhat awkward silence fell between the two, the situation was just so weird.

"Yes, in my dimension, it is the mid 2500s, and for you?"

"It was around 2012. I think, living through that does things to you..."

"What have you gone through? I have been through over two hundred campaigns since age fourteen, I'm forty six now,"

"I lost everything, job, wife, parents, brother, my friends, all of them, and I lost my life almost,"

"Ooh, a close-call huh? What happened?"

"I got bitten by a walker, uhhh, it's like... I guess I never realized that they were just like zombies, too busy being scared and paranoid out of my mind. Anyways, I fought through a lot of them, with only this cleaver-" he pulled out the small butcher's tool, "-and a shard of glass,"

"If you were bitten by a zombie, wouldn't you become one of them?" John had a small, but useful amount of knowledge on such fantasy subjects.

"I did, I was still alive though, it's like that phrase 'A fate worse than death', and the reason why was basically 'I have no mouth, and I must scream', it was awful. I actually felt sympathetic for the walkers, my body moved on its own, but my mind was intact, luckily I barely got through with one meal, another walker, before I ended up here."

"Did you, perchance, end up here in your sleep?"

"I had just finished eating a piece of walker, then my vision got filled with light, and now I'm here, I showed up standing."

Chief didn't have any more questions, he knew all he wanted to know, and that was that. He was a respectful and respectable, disciplined, professional soldier, and someone like that does not pry into people's lives.

Lee only watched the behemoth of a man lead the way, "Do you know where you're going?"

"Of course, I have a scanner and radar, the largest clearing, perhaps the end of the forest, is this way," John informed, the sounds of the forest around them made him keep his fists clenched, he could flip tanks! How difficult would flipping something else be?

The two silently trekked, the only evidence of their presence being John's armor, which had lights and made tremor with each step.

"So I says to the man, 'Yeah I shot yer ass, whatcha gonna do about it?', and he just crawls backwards in fear, so I shot him in the head, it was hilarious, the blood splatter made him looked like a plum tuckered-out clown," the druggie laughed his wood-saw-meets-sheet-metal laugh, in other words, it was painful to listen to.

"Right, well, come on, we're almost out of this forest." Michael had been listening to this psychopath for the past hour, he had even counted how long! Thirty eight minutes and fourteen seconds about drugs and the various details about them, twenty one minutes and forty six seconds about the escapades of him with two other guys named Franklin and Michael.

The dark path was starting to get lighter, a lot lighter, they had reached the end of the forest!

"Trevor, we're almost out of the forest, just another... fifty feet to go."

"Alright, I'll race ya!"

Trevor pulled off an impressive sprint, something that he didn't look like he should have been able to do.

Michael tried to keep up, going full speed, and the two reached the edge in less than ten seconds.

"I must say, miss Rarity, this tea is simply... divine," the scientist praised, trying to keep the delicious liquid inside his mouth as it soothed his nerves and warmed his belly, a pleasurable enough sensation to evoke a moan of satisfaction, but he kept it in, it would be ungentlemanly to do such an act, especially in the presence of a lady.

"Oh it's just some normal tea, darling, I must say though, your jacket is very dapper," the fashionista praised back, running a hoof over the gold garment.

"Right, so, this place is very interesting, I like the colors, very cheery, unlike Maxworld,"

"Yes, the way you described that place is... nightmarish, if just a summary is so horrible, I would simply die of shock if I saw it for myself."

"Trust me, dying hurts, I should know, I've died over a million times."

Rarity's mouth fell in shock.

"Luckily I had plenty of meat effigies, revival amulets, and touchstones to bring me back."

Rarity still stared in shock.

"Enough about my escapades, what about you? What sort of adventures have you and your friends gone on?"

Rarity recovered when she realized that she had been asked a question.

"Oh, well, from the beginning, we traveled into the Everfree Forest to save the day."

"So was there a monster threatening the country or something?"

"Well, yes, but we were saving the actual 'day' itself, it was night time, and this terrible brute, Nightmare Moon, tried to take over and make the day never come again, it was terrible,"

"How terrible?" Wilson prepared his dark sword under the table, he still needed to cause some chaos in order to free Discord so the god could send him home.

"It was THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THIIIING!"

The scientist struck out, catching the mare with a tiny cut to the front, too low for a neck shot, too small to do considerable damage, the incision was less than half an inch wide.

Rarity lunged backwards in shock, why had her new friend done this?

The scientist grabbed and donned his golden jacket, the armoring vest was quite comfortable, despite appearances, he stood and ran to the door, sword held high.

The door opened gently, then the previously harmless man ran outside, the door wasn't a problem, as he was five foot five, well below the top of the door's frame.

The chaos began, and in the Canterlot statue gardens, Discord's statue began cracking.

...

Lyra was happily trotting through the streets, heading towards Carousal Boutique, she had heard that there was a human in town, and she wanted to meet him.

Lucky her, he was coming down the street now, he looked like he was holding a shadow, but that was probably her eyes playing tricks on her.

"Hi human!" she called out before she realized how rude that might have sounded.

"Hello, pony," Wilson replied, putting away his dark sword.

"Oh I have so many questions, tell me, how many fingers do you have?" the unicorn was giddy as a schoolfilly, this was her dreams come true!

"Eight, and now I'm going to show you something I can do with them," the gentleman reared back his hand.

Lyra was so happy, happy enough to have that expression where you smile so big that you close your eyes. What was he going to do? Was he going to show how hands looked when they were clapping? Would he show her the legendary 'snap' thing? Would he-

*SLAP OF THE 'BITCH' VARIETY*

Lyra was knocked to the ground, Wilson had already moved on, wreaking havoc, anything to get home.

He would do anything to get home.

"Hey big guy~, y'wanna~?" some drunken mare approached him, leaned into his side, sighed in a more-than-friendly manner, and nodded her head over to a nearby house.

"No," the bearded man declined, running down the street again.

He would do anything to get home, but he would not do that.

"Ah, Ponyville is close, just up ahead," the paladin announced, the homely town coming into view.

"So, is that still a no on the whole 'back riding' thing?" Ezio had been trying to use his wily ways and influential diplomatic abilities to get Golden to carry him, sure the assassin could walk, but why walk an unknown distance when one could go their on horseback, or in this case, ponyback?

"No, you have legs, USE THEM," Crest rebuked, picking up the pace a little bit.

"I... they... don't know," the master had been bested by this unicorn's stubbornness.

"I've always wondered that... WWWHaaat if, your legs, didn't know, that they were legs?" Crest had apparently passed the breaking point of sanity.

"I guess, I guess you wouldn't be able to walk?" the assassin replied, fists clenched and ready to counter if this stallion went hostile.

Golden Crest suddenly spun around, his eyes wide with realization, his horn flared up green and fired a bolt of energy at 'Altair'.

As the magical bolt flew through the air, the master lunged forward, trying to disable his seemingly crazy ally.

Lunging...

Lunging...

Fall forward...

'Altair' tried to get to his feet again, but fell, what happened? Why did his knees feel weird?

"I forgot, the town will act crazy if some random human comes in, running about with obvious weapons on his person." Crest's ears picked up some panicked screaming coming from town, oh shit, had he tempted fate?

"What did you do to me?" the middle-aged stallion asked, looking down at his new hooves.

"I used changeling magic to turn you into a pony, don't worry, it'll only last for a day if not dismissed." Ezio turned around, trying to look at himself.

All previous masteries of agility, dexterity, and generally capabilities of coherent movement had metaphorically flown out the window.

The almighty 'reaper of death, demon of shadows, the antithesis of all', as the Templars called him, was reduced to a stumbling idiot walking in circles.

"Gah, how do, I... hooves, this... shit, GAH!" he swore as his movements ever-so-slowly became smoother, several minutes passed before he managed to walk in a straight line.

"Excellent work, now come on, we need t-"

"HOLY SHIT IT'S A HORSE!" a raspy voice called out, earning a glance from the two stallions.

"Those are ponies, Trevor, they are sentient beings,"

"Even better!"

"Those two are strangely clothed."

"Act natural."

"Alright..." *nom*

"I didn't mean eat the grass, you racist bastard."

"What's racism?" Ezio said through a mouthful of grass.

"Hello ponies, I am Michael."

The other two were now within arm's reach of the stallions.

"And I'm Trevor, nice ta meet ya."

"I am Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, he is Golden Crest, we were just returning to Ponyville, are you strangers lost?"

"We aren't no strangers, we already got our names out there, in my books, we're already kinda friends." Trevor was a master at making and breaking friendships.

"Do either of you need help? We can take you to Ponyville."

"Ponyville? Take us there, please."

"Sure," Golden agreed, and without another word, the paladin and assassin turned around and led the way.

Trevor was mesmerized by the horn on the armored one and the wings on the robed one, he was seeing colors at the moment.

*THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD* was the only distinct sound that came from Chief, Lee's shoes only made soft padding sounds, easily drowned out by the soldier's heavy steps.

"The signals are coming from ahead, three hundred meters," announced a feminine voice.

"Who was that?"

"That was me, I am Cortana, an AI unit in the Spartan program, I selected Master Chief to assist, and-"

Lee half-listened, his eyes glassing over, he only wanted a name, not a life story, time was ticking and he needed to stop this or he would go insane.

What was wrong with him? He had never been this aggressive or impatient.

He had to choose what to say, he found himself choosing his words a lot more thoughtfully after the whole apocalypse thing.

I understand, can you please stop talking?

Interesting...

Excuse me blue lady, would you kindly shut you mouth?!

Or just say nothing and keep listening.

"I understand, can you please stop talking?" he asked, though it came out more aggressive sounding than he wanted it to.

"Do not be a rude bastard, following this advice will make your life a lot easier and lengthy."

Lee chose to stay silent, for fear of rousing the anger of the metal giant that the AI was attached to.

Cortana disappeared, deciding not to waste anymore time, morale, or energy, as all three of those things were very important.

"Don't get her mad, she's the talker, I'm the actor, and I do what needs doing." John's voice was gruff, almost condescending in a way.

Lee chose to respond indignantly, a choice made easier by the fact that the two men had exited the forest. This response tore him up a little on the inside, but he needed to get his point across.

"I was just asking for a name, not a life story, nigga dayum." the survivor picked up the pace, coughing a few times and hacking up more bile-esque fluids from his throat.

John stopped walking for several moments, processing this strange response.

By the time he came up with a rebuttal, Lee had already sped up into a sprint towards the town.

Civilization called, and Lee would answer.

"THE ANSWER IS VICTORY!" Wilson shouted, his sanity having sufficiently dropped to the point at which he experienced very intense hallucinations.

"I don't hallucinate, I dream, and my dreams come true, even the nightmares," he shouted to nothing, prying the door to town hall off and throwing some dynamite inside.

This was chaos.

Chaos would awaken Discord

Discord would send him back home.

"Ponyville is on fire."

"Merda, come on, we have to go." Ezio flared out his wings, wait, did he have wings before? His back had felt more heavy than it should have been, so maybe he did.

No matter, he needed to fly to town and do it fast, so he took off like a bird, flying through the air with inborn grace.

'Now THIS is something I would like to do,' he thought, imitating the birds he had seen so many times, flight just came natural to him, and his caucasian-colored wings were strong.

Of course, caucasian typically referred to 'white people', but caucasian was a color of its own.

"Look at that graceful motherfucker, what a glorious bastard he is."

"Come on, we need to find out what's going on." Michael's vast knowledge did not tell him about this incident, but he knew that simply seeing a bit of it would fill his head with knowledge.

Trevor responded by shoving an orange painted M1911 into Michael's hand and running off with a Desert Eagle XIX in his own.

"Make haste, destruction is being wreaked." Golden Crest galloped away as fast as he could.

Michael started running, wishing that he had a pair of Hermes Boots.

The princess of the day finally had some free time, diplomats and other various political bullshit always seemed to catch her at the most inconvenient times, and she always worried if she was missing something dire because of an argument on the price of corn (or something similarly arbitrary).

"I do wish that the letter Twilight sent me two hours ago is not dire." she pulled up a cushion large enough to support her massive rear end.

The letter began: To Celestia

Emergency in Ponyville, there is a killer on the loose, we can't seem to find him, it's like he's nowhere and everywhere at once, I don't know the goal of this destruction, but one of the results will be the town going up in flames.

Here is a sketch of him by Rarity, but he's wearing a golden jacket.

The letter seemed hastily written, Twilight never wrote something hastily after the incident with the sentence 'I love to study organisms' being written as 'I love to study orgasms'

In hindsight, it was pretty funny, it nearly turned the white alicorn's mane purple with excitement!

This creature was strange though, it looked like a human from the myths, but the proportions were really messed up, she estimated this being to be about five feet and five inches tall, if the scale ruler on the side was correct.

A drawing of a black, ethereal scimitar was directly below the picture, labeled 'Dark Sword (?)'

This weapon, it looked odd.

*BZ-ZHOO*

*KROOM*

Celestia violently opened the window to her sister's bedchamber.

"LUNA, ARE YOU DOING EVIL MAGIC AGAIN?" the older sister shouted with a tone of a haggard mother.

"Sister, what the buck, I was sleeping," Luna yawned as she was violently ripped from her domain of sleep.

"Oh sorry, have you been doing evil magic again?" Celestia whispered, her formal facade dropping completely.

"No, get the buck out, I'm trying to sleep." Luna slammed her head onto her pillow and rolled onto her belly.

"Oh great, how am I going to find out how to disable that killer in Ponyville now?" the solar diarch worried, putting a hoof to her chin.

"Just kill it back," Luna muttered, wishing to her mother's red mane that her sister would leave.

"Good idea!" with that, Celestia opened the curtained window wide and flew out.

Luna magically closed the window and curtains, then cast an anti-teleportation field in her room.

Sleeping during the day time was hard enough without annoying older siblings interrupting you.

Lee stopped for several seconds to catch his breath, he had run to the main road in order to put as much distance between himself and the super soldier as possible.

"HEY BUDDY, y'alright?"

The georgian turned around, seeing a balding man who seemed to enjoy food a little too much, if his gut was any indication.

"Yeah, just out of breath." Lee spat out more bile, feeling his throat slowly clearing up.

"Come on civilians, there are other civilians in danger!"

"Hurry up, and thanks for the Phoenix Blaster."

The two earthling men looked at each other, then ran into town.

"This flying thing is great! I wish I had my own wings normally, this is just amazing, thrilling, in fact!" the master shouted over the wind, he scanned Ponyville for anything out of the ordinary, there were several miscolored dots running around in the streets, one black, one brown, one whitish-tan, and one gold.

A white blur passed him, making him spin out temporarily before righting his flying again, he watched the blur as it slowed down, clearing up into a large regal form.

Normally, Ezio didn't dig on pony beauty, but with his pony eyes, he had an understanding at the moment.

"Damn, I don't know whether to kill her in the figurative sense or the literal one," he complimented as he descended slowly to what his mission dictated was 'Celestia'

Tyranny before pleasure, though he had always considered raping a corpse. Never a very prominent thought, nobody would even notice it, but it was there, hiding in secret.

The scientist was surrounded. A pony knight to his north. To his east was two men, one with a gun, the other with nothing.

"Hey Trevor, do you have any spare guns?"

"Sure man, here you go," Trevor handed Lee a Beretta 93R

To his west was a smart looking guy with a shortsword and a flaming pistol in his hands.

He spun to the south, seeing a large pony with both a horn and wings. The two pistol guys weren't distracted, neither was the knight, but the smart guy was.

Wilson turned to run towards the lone man, but before he could take a single step, he was blasted with fire.

The bolt struck both his body and Amulet of Life Giving, setting him and his grizzly mountain-man beard ablaze and deflecting the other half of the lava-like magic towards the smart guy.

Celestia smiled, that was really easy, "Oh, hey Crest, thanks for helping me catch this killer." she shouted over to her paladin

"No problem, your highness, it was my duty."

"Holy shit, you're a princess?"

"Yes, who are you two?"

"I'm Lee, this is Trevor, we aren't from around here."

So the small conversation began.

...

Michael was running from the ball of magic, he had to get away, he didn't want to die like this!

"Wait a second, I'm a player now, I can take this!" he realized, and spun around to face the attack.

*SPLAT*

*sizzle sizzle*

*fwoom*

He was on fire, but after several seconds, the fire subsided, leaving the ashes of an item he had inside his shirt.

A few unmarred pieces of cloth, orange, blue, gray, black, and tan.

"Shit." was all he could manage as fell to the ground, dead.

It was a well-known Guide Voodoo Doll fact that if it was burned, the guide would die.

"And I am Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, of Italy."

"I'm Trevor, I'm Canadian, but I live in Los Santos, in the US."

Celestia looked at the two sheepish males, the stallion had fallen out of the sky and ended up stabbing her at the base of the neck, luckily not a fatal blow. Trevor had opened fire upon sight, he was under the effects of hallucinogens, so such a thing was understandable.

"Well, I am glad that only the killer was seriously hurt."

The sky was torn asunder by a bolt of red lightning, the sun flew through the sky at a blurring speed, followed by a five second night, and then back to day.

"HOLD ON, I'm okay, oh god my head hurts, what happened?" Wilson groaned as his body returned to normal, mind fully healed from all traces of insanity.

"What? How are you alive? You were consumed in flames!"

"My amulet revived me, I am sorry for my transgressions, I was unable to fight the influence of Discord, the god of chaos." Wilson's mind had processed everything that occurred, and he realized that doing anything for the God/Goddess/Spirit/Demon/Anything of Chaos was a bad idea, as his experience with Maxwell taught him.

"I see, I shall see to it that this will not happen again, what of the other man?"

Words appeared at each of their respective feet/hooves, it was a bit spooky and quite unsettling.

*Michael the Guide was slain*

*The Wall of Flesh has awoken*

Author's Notes:

CLIFFHANGER, MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

Speech is and will be color coded for your (and my) convenience:

Trevor: 91A3B0 (cadet gray)
Master Chief: 8A9A5B (moss green)
Lee: 7B3F00 (chocolate brown)
Ezio: default red text setting
Wilson: default violet text setting
Michael/Guide: default blue text setting
Celestia: default yellow text setting
Golden Crest: default orange text setting.
and each of the Mane 6 will have their respective text color settings.

^ this is more for my convenience, actually, I need the hexadecimal codes for the respective text colors, as that is how I will differentiate between speakers.

EDIT: MAJOR UPDATE, FIXED A LOT OF STUFF, HOPE IT'S BETTER!