Two months later

"Ryan, you are a disturbing person!" said Geoff to Ryan, as they walked past yet another house burned to the ground.

"Is it my fault that the Fire Salamanders actually listened to me? I thought they were another weird intellingent species, not actual animals! With the number of intelligent beings spouting fire on this world, I didn't think they were animals, it was a joke!" Ryan gave a half-assed excuse.

Ryan, after about two days, found out he had complete power over the animals of the planet. A disturbing but interesting ability.

"A joke, huh? 'Go forth and burn every village in a radius of twenty miles'! Those are your exact fucking words, Ryan, I was there, I heard that!" said Michael, joining the conversation.

"Alright, alright! Let's get done with this and check on Gavin, Jack and Ray to see if Ray managed to stop Jack from killing Gavin!" quickly changed the topic Ryan as they, once again, entered the snowy wasteland.

It wasn't a wasteland yesterday, but then Ryan told the salamanders to burn down all of those villages. There was snow everywhere, and you could see the ashes in the snow.

"Ryan you are already responsible for about ten thousand deaths! That is a HUNDRED times more than the killcount of every single one of us." said Geoff.

"Well, for my excu--" started Ryan but was cut off by Michael.

"Every single of us together!" said Michael.

"Okay, shut up, I know I fucked up!" Ryan said, not sounding guilty at all.

"Fucked up? Your number of kills went higher in the span of twenty four hours than the Master Chief's through his whole life! You're making the Covenant rethink about attacking Earth! The whole universe has heard of you by now! I am actually serious, just wait, we'll wake up with daggers in our throats and the Tower of Pimps gone!" Geoff said, telling lies.

Why lies, you ask? Not EVERYONE knows of Ryan.

Only most of the dimension does.

As they kept walking, nearing their base, they were ambushed.

"Halt, foul creatures! Thou art accused of great atrocities! You are to follow me to the King now, or thee shall feel the wrath of the sixthy-ninth squadron of the pegasi and griffons of the Great Empire!" shouted a completely white griffon as he jumped out of the snow, followed by a dozen of ponies and griffons.

Then they were promptly burned alive by the salamanders.

"That's ten thousand and twelve, Ryan." said Michael to Ryan.

"Let's just get to the HQ." said Ryan, tired of all those accusations.

"Anyways, how's plan TAFKART going on?" asked Michael as they were nearing their base, just to kill the long trek up the stairs to the main entrance.

It was a grand building, because it seems that the Lads and Gents were given abilities to, pretty much build as if they were still playing Minecraft. It was made out of clean stone to blend in with the mountain, mantained by snowmen that created snow.

Ray was extremely pleased to find out that the Gents made snowmen.

"Pretty much ready, we just need a little burst of magic from the Tower, you know how rare those are!" said Ryan, suddenly becoming more happy.

"A burst of magic from the Tower? That's like asking a griffon to marry a pegasus, very fucking unlikely!" said Geoff as they were nearing the door to the HQ.

There were shouts heard from deeper of the HQ, something along the lines of:

Gavin shut up or I swear to God I will let Jack kill you!

I was almost as if it came from underground.

"What are they doing with the Tower now?" asked Geoff as he sighed and entered the first room of the massive building.

It was more of a big hallway, there were doors on the right and left, and a shelf for boots and warm clothing when someone was going outside. The neverending winter WAS a pain in the ass.

To the right were doors to the rooms of the two Gents, Jack and Geoff. There was also an entrance to the kitchen and "The Wardrobe of Pimps".

To the left were the rooms of the Lads, Ray, Gavin and Michael. There was also an entrance to the "Relax Room of Pimps".

On the end of the hallway was a door to the underground. On the first floor of the underground was a giantic laundry room.

On the second floor was a garden, where there was mostly weed (#JustBlaze420!) and roses. Because fuck dandelions.

On the third floor was the biggest prize of the Lads and Gents. The Tower of Pimps. The darned thing that brought them here. The thing that kept them alive and gave them magic.

The thing they were afraid of, deep down.

This is why it was on the third floor. Below it? There was a zoo, or a farm, or whatever they decided to call it on that day. There were two of each animal they managed to find. There was also Edgar, Prince Oinkson and Edgar Third.

They also found that there ARE monsters here. This is why there is a fifth floor.

Ryan had the sixth room as his own personal lab, project TAFKART was being made there.

The seventh floor was Ryan's bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. You know, they thought it would be fun if they got Ryan into the deepet circle of hell.

It got out of hand... very fast. Like a joke on Reddit.

The group that went outside ran over to the room where the Tower was. What they found was Gavin sitting in a corner, and Ray holding Jack who was about to jump on Gavin and smash him.

"What the fuck is going on in here!?" shouted Geoff as he ran into the room and took the situation in.

"The typical Wednesday, Geoff! How did the check-on go?" shouted Ray as he held Jack back.

"Just like you predicted, all of those villages are burnt to crisp." said Michael as he got closer and caught Jack as he managed to get free because Ray lost his grip on him.

"Really? Ryan, you fucked up." said Ray to Ryan, who was tired of being called out and left to go to the Lab.

"Hey, don't be mad! I'm joking! R&R connection? Come back!" Ray shouted as he went to follow Ryan.

"Okay, what happened here?" Asked Geoff.

"This little shit insulted my family!" said Jack for the first time, if you don't count the angry growls and incomprehensive shouts.

"Accidentally!" squeaked Gavin quickly in his british accent making it sound as 'occidentolly!'

"Say sorry." said Michael, glaring at Gavin.

"B--" was all Gavin managed to say before Michael let go of one of Jack's arms.

"I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T KILL ME TOO HARD!" Gavin shouted quickly as he got up and ran out of the room.

"Yeah, Jack, don't kill him too hard!" shouted Michael as he let Jack go, who immediately ran off to murder Gavin.

"Let's barricade Gavin's door so when he respawns he won't be able to get out!" said Geoff, in one of his usual strikes of genius.

"You're a genius." said Michael as they went off to barricade Gavin's door.