Cerulean knew this day was coming, but it didn’t make it any less terrifying. It was a day any coltfriend, or in this case fiancé to a pregnant mare, dreaded and feared like the apocalyptic harbinger of doom that it was. Add to this the fact that his allegations of rape still hadn’t fully been dispelled in Canterlot, plus the fact he never received their blessing before his proposal, and you have a recipe for a very dead stallion. In light of all this, Twilight awoke to an empty bed the day of their departure, and after fifteen minutes of searching she found her significant other cowering in the laboratory, tucked firming underneath the stairs in as tight a ball as he possibly could squeeze.

“Cerulean, we don’t have time for this, we’re going to miss the train!”

“I know, isn’t it great?” He shortly thereafter found himself teleported outside, along with a night’s luggage which landed firmly on his head, stunning him as Twilight appeared next to him.

“You really need to relax, it’s going to be fine.”

“Shows how much you’ve learned...” he muttered sullenly, strapping on the saddlebag and rubbing the slight inflammation just above his horn. “Aren’t you even the slightest bit nervous?”

“I will be if you keep asking ridiculous questions, now move!” she barked, her patience quickly wearing thin. Honestly, he can handle living with somepony who has landed him in more awkward, and often times painful, situations than anypony else she knew, and yet he’s scared of meeting her father? Her mind couldn’t wrap itself around the logic. Cerulean trudged in silence, boarding the train and promptly falling asleep, likely to deny his brain further access to the areas that stimulate fear. Unfortunately for him, said area remained fully active during the sleep cycle, and he woke with yell a few minutes before they pulled into canterlot.

“Cerulean, keep it down.”

“Twilight, your father doesn’t own any weapons, does he?”

“A few, why?”

“Because I don’t know what the hay a ‘shotgun’ is, but I’m pretty sure not even magic could make that big of a mess!” he shouted, causing multiple ponies to poke their heads around to see what was going on.

“Cerulean.” He froze at Twilight’s commanding voice, dropping silent and shifting nervously. “I do not know what you are talking about, but you’re going to land yourself in another Mandarin moment if you don’t calm down and act like a proper gentlecolt. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Babe?”

“Cerulean, you’re pushing it.”

“Twilight-li,” he started, before having his mouth magically sealed shut with a flash of Twilight’s horn. He glanced around in total confusion as his lips had somehow become one entity, and he quailed under Twilight’s burning gaze.

“If you so much as mention that near my parents, you will find yourself to be a very unlucky stallion. They don’t know about that little phase, and I intend to keep that that way. Capisce?” A hasty nod from Cerulean signaled the end of the silencing spell, and he took a few deep breaths of air before dropping silent. Either Twilight was super hormonal today, or she was secretly just as nervous. Or both, in which case his chances of survival dropped a good twenty percent. Humor seemed to have left her vocabulary, so he decided to try a different approach.

“Twilight, I’ll do my best to make this as painless as possible, ok?” Scooting closer to her, he slid a hoof around her neck and gave her a light squeeze, of which she was surprisingly receptive.

“Me too. I don’t know why I’m so short tempered this morning.”

“Well, and every other morning for the last...” A half lidded glare assured him that there was no need to continue the statement. It also confirmed that his beloved sarcasm would be the death of him should he not relent. Unfortunately, it was thoroughly ingrained into his mind, and thus attempting to set it aside normally only worked for a matter of seconds. As they stepped off of the train, he fervently hoped that having the death penalty hanging over his head would be motivation enough for his mind to keep itself in check.

Taking painstaking care not to let his speech slip, Cerulean had managed to restore Twilight’s mood by the time they came to a stop in front of her parents’ house, but any confidence he had worked up instantly drained as the door swung open to reveal her parents. Twilight bore a striking resemblance to her mother, but that was the least of Cerulean’s concerns as her father simply glared from the doorway.

“Mom, dad, it’s so good to see,” Twilight started before her father’s cold words cut her off.

“Twilight, are you pregnant?” Silence can speak a thousand words, and at that moment all Cerulean heard were funeral bells.

“Twi, you didn’t tell them?”

“It may have slipped my mind, yes,” she replied, swallowing hard. Her father was old fashioned, and this was likely the worst possible introduction for Cerulean. She began to wonder if whatever dream he had was more a premonition, as her father certainly looked like he could kill. She cautiously stood between the two stallions as her father, Night Light, began stalking towards Cerulean. “Dad, please, just calm down. It’s not what it... I mean...”

“Twilight, stand aside.” She fearfully obeyed, standing beside her mother who lay a comforting hoof around her shoulders. “What’s your name, colt?” My name? He must want to know what to put on my tombstone, how polite.

“Cerulean Snowgleam, sir.” Night Light’s scowl turned from angry to something Cerulean couldn’t quite place, but whatever it was, he was pretty sure his life was over.

“Odd, that’s also the name of a pony who was charged with rape five years back. And now, here you are, with my daughter. And she’s pregnant.”

“Don’t do it, Cerulean. Don’t respond,” Twilight whispered to herself as she watched him take a step back. Unfortunately, frustration is deceptively adept at sneaking in and changing an innocent rebuttal into a monumentally stupid one.

“Actually, she started it.” Twilight’s facehoof garnered the attention of everypony nearby.

“Dad, take it easy, he never,” she started before her father’s calm voice cowed her into silence.

“So you gave yourself willingly? I thought I raised you better than that.”

“Dear, why don’t we take this inside?” Velvet interjected, motioning to the increasing number of staring ponies. Twilight gave Cerulean a supportive nuzzling before following her parents inside, where she was immediately hit with a wave of nostalgia. Night noticed Cerulean’s adoring gaze and drew Velvet close.

“Do you see the way he’s looking at her right now?”

“What, it’s exactly how you look at me. Could you at least try to give him a chance? It’s been many years since Twilight’s been home, and I don’t want to run her off.” Cerulean noticed their hushed whispers and added his own, murmuring out of the side of his mouth.

“So, do you still expect me not to be nervous?”

“No, I’d say your trepidation is justified. I haven’t seen my father this peeved since... no, nevermind, that wasn’t even close.” Well that was about as comforting as a night in the Canterlot dungeons, a prospect he had little desire to ever revisit.

“It didn’t occur to you to break the news to them beforehoof?”

“Clearly, it must have fallen off of my checklist.” A sudden silence descended as both couples ceased whispering at the same time, and a moment or two passed before Night Light pointed to a couch, motioning for Twilight and Cerulean to sit.

“Let’s start off with something easy. How did you two meet?”

“I saved him from being killed by wolves in a forest.”
“I woke up with Twi passed out on top of me.” The answers came simultaneously, though Cerulean’s was the only one that was heard. Night raised an eyebrow.

“Cerulean!” Twilight hissed, shooting a worried glance at her father.

“What? It’s the truth. Well, both are accurate, but I wasn’t conscious for the forest part.”

“Take two seconds and think about what you just said.” One... two... oh dear Celestia. Strike one.

“Sir, I assure you, I have never taken advantage of your daughter, contrary to how what I have just said may sound. The fact is she ran out of magic while teleporting the both of us out of danger, and we landed in a somewhat awkward position.” Twilight gave an inaudible sigh of relief as her father’s features softened slightly. It may have been imperceptible to Cerulean, who she could feel shaking slightly, but it was heartening none the less.

“How long were you dating before he asked you to marry him, Twilight?” her mother asked suddenly. She smiled a little as both ponies shifted nervously, the couch creaking slightly as they let their eyes roam anywhere but her own. “Or rather, how long did you know each other before he asked you out.”

“Uh, a little over a month, I think,” Cerulean offered, not having the clearest memory.

“Not long, but I can accept it. Now, my first question?” Velvet continued.

“About the same, actually,” Twilight replied, smiling as she remembered the event.

“Let me get this straight,” Night said, his controlled fury sending shivers down Cerulean’s spine. “You met my daughter, asked her out a month later, and asked again to marry her the following month?” Somehow, Cerulean knew that was strike two no matter how he approached it.

“Yes, I did.” Of all the times for Cerulean to attempt to be assertive, that was likely the worst. “It was a very long two months.”

“So, I’m curious, when did Twilight conceive?” Velvet replied calmly, not appearing the slightest bit disturbed by the news.

“Mom, really?” Twilight exclaimed. “Are you trying to make dad angry at Cerulean?”

“What? It’s a fair question,” Night agreed, fixing his eyes on Cerulean.

“Let’s see... it was, what, three days after I asked you out?” Twilight was tired of having to tiptoe around her parents, and since they weren’t having any success, she decided that she might as well just be out with it.

“I think so. Hard to tell, I was having too much fun that night,” she giggled, giving Cerulean a wink. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realized all bets were off. Regardless of what had actually left his mouth, which took no heed of the dire situation, he really had been trying his best not to cause Night Light to burst into flames, or whatever it was he did when he wished somepony bodily harm.

“Three... days.” Strike three. Oh, what the hay.

“Yes sir, that’s correct. She was much more eager than I had anticipated, but have no fear; I treated her right.” Being able to see the vein near Night Lights left eye bulge as his blood pressure approached critical limits was contrasted nicely by Velvet’s polite nod.

“Just what kind of pony do you think my daughter is?” Night Light cried, leaping upright. “It’s quite clear that two months is all it took to corrupt Twilight, likely just as you did that other mare!” Twilight immediately stood between the two as their horns began to glow.

“Father, you have no right to bring that up, especially when he’s been cleared of the charges!” Her scowl, which she had hoped her father would notice and relent, was soon given a lesson in how to do it right as Night Light slammed a hoof on the table.

“And it doesn’t bother you that he was accused of rape in the first place?”

“Not since I know what actually happened, no!” she fired back. Velvet remained silent as she watched the tempers flare, sighing that nopony could seem to stay rational for more than a moment’s notice. “You have no idea what he’s been through, dad.”

“Twilight, let me pass. I’ll just show him so he’ll shut up.”

“You get that horn near me and I’ll break it clean off, colt.”

“Now dear, that wouldn’t be very fair to Twilight. I’m sure she rather likes his horn.” Everypony in the room turned and stared at Velvet, who looked at Twilight’s pleading eyes before continuing. “Night, you’re acting every bit as foalish as he is, if not more so. So please, everypony, can we at least try to feign civility?”

“You expect me to act kindly to a stallion who has effectively turned our daughter into a skank?” Twilight let out a gasp as a sudden thump from Cerulean’s hoof shot a sharpened icicle from the ground which stopped right at the base of her father’s throat.

“Don’t you ever... talk about her like that again.” His words sounded like thunder in the silence. “Twilight is the most precious thing in the world to me, and I will not let anypony, much less her own father, speak of her in such a manner. I don’t care what you think about me, but she is off limits.” He tapped the icicle and it shattered, restoring Night Light’s ability to breathe as Cerulean slowly sat down, meeting her father’s shocked gaze.

“Hmmm, I approve, Twilight.” She gave a pointed look at a defeated Night Light before continuing. “If he’s that willing to defend your honor, then I find no faults. Besides,” she said, giving Twilight a wink, “he’s willing to take responsibility for your child, so we don’t have to castrate him. Congratulations, Cerulean. You get to keep your horn.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“Cerulean, thank you,” Twilight whispered into his ear as she wrapped her hoof around his foreleg.

“We may have moved pretty dang fast, but you’re not loose. And having been accused of rape, I of all ponies know how much that kind of statement can hurt,” he said softly, dropping his gaze. Twilight couldn’t stand seeing Cerulean look so dejected, and a culmination of anger and hormones caused her to march over to her father and connect horns as what really happened with Bangles flooded his mind. He didn’t have time to apologize, primarily due to his abrupt transformation into a sizable cactus upon the completion of the memory transference.

“Oh my, I haven’t done that to him in ages,” Velvet chortled, walking over and sitting next to her husband. “Twilight, this brings up a good question, how are you handling your pregnancy?”

“Well...”

“I fear for my life on a daily basis, Mrs. Sparkle. Please save me.”

“I guess I can be a little difficult.”

“A little? Twilight, I had to pole dance in the center of town! You turned me into a mare! I was forced to nearly make love to Big Macintosh!”

“Cerulean, I think that’s quite enough out of you, thank you,” Twilight stated flatly, sealing his mouth once more, though he continued to rant in muffled grunts.

“Oh, but Twilight, his stories were interesting!” Velvet laughed, horn glowing briefly as she removed Cerulean’s vocal restriction.

“Don’t even get me started on her eating habits. I’ve never imagined nastier combinations of food in my life. It’s like she’s worked down ‘raunchy’ to a science.”

“Have you attempted to interfere with her culinary endeavors?”

“I prefer to stay amongst the land of the living, thank you. Dying once is enough for anypony.”

“Smart colt, though maybe not in speech. Fitting for Twilight, I must say. It wasn’t easy for Night Light when I was pregnant, either. I think I even hospitalized him with a magically enhanced frying pan from the sky, once.”

“Miss Velvet Sparkle, please, don’t give her any ideas. She has enough of her own.”

As evening came, Twilight decided to allow her father to assume pony form once more, and the four gathered around the table for dinner. The pregnant mare relished her parent’s cooking, though as with most of her food, it was missing ten or more condiments to complete the taste. Cerulean averted his head while she “improved” the dish, and the rest of the evening passed by without a hitch, largely due to Night Light not saying a word. Velvet Sparkle and Night Light retired early, leaving Cerulean and Twilight alone on the couch where they sat speaking in hushed tones.

“Ugh, what a day. I’m sorry about my father, Cerulean. He’s really not a bad pony, but he’s always been very protective of me.”

“Mmhmm.” It was an odd reply, especially for somepony so needlessly wordy and sarcastic. A glance at Twilight and he knew she had caught it. “Sorry, I guess I’m just a little bit stressed after everything that’s been going on.”

“Today wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“I wasn’t just talking about today, Twilight. You’re getting more irritable, more distant.”

“Well, excuse me for being pregnant! Whose fault is that again?” Twilight readied her horn to dole out punishment at the arrival of his comeback, but the glow faded as he said nothing. The lavender mare heaved a sigh and stood, making her way towards the spare bedroom. “I’m going to bed, are you coming?”

“I’ll be in soon, Twilight.” She gave a snort and closed the door loudly behind her as she entered. Cerulean sat staring ahead as he tried to calm the anxieties that had been building for the last week or two.

“You sure have your work cut out for you, colt.” Oh great, as if things weren’t bad enough. Well, now I don’t have to worry, it’s shotgun time. “Come with me.” Cerulean nodded and followed Night Light into the streets, and after the house had dropped out of view, Night started to speak. “I must apologize for my actions.”

“Why, is Velvet making you?” He cringed inwardly at his own disrespect, but he was pleasantly surprised by Night’s response.

“Partly, yes. That, and something tells me you’ve had a rough time of it, if Twilight is anything like her mother when she was pregnant. Longest twenty two months of my life.” Ah, that’s right, Twilight had mentioned she had a brother a while back.

“Was it really that bad?”

“Hmmm, there was the time when she turned my salad into a live squid after I had eaten. Oh, and there was also the time when she electrocuted me for waking her five minutes late. Although, if I had to pick a favorite, it would have to be the frying pan from the sky. I think I was out for, what, four days?” Cerulean couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought, though given Twilight’s capabilities, what he was to face would likely be much worse. “Listen, I don’t fully trust you, Cerulean.”

“Gee, here I was thinking this heart to heart was my first hoof in the door.”

“It might be if you’d learn to keep your mouth shut.” He took the hint and clammed up. “Hmmm, at least you can listen, that’s a start.” Cerulean swallowed back his response and continued plodding along. “As long as our daughter is happy, I will try to accept it. But I have to ask, did she really turn you into a mare?”

“Yes, as part of her research. I ended up regaining control of my body to find myself lip locked with a rather dashing stallion, thought it took a few hours to get the taste out of my mouth.” For the first time since he had arrived, Cerulean heard Night Light laugh. Now, this was not a pitying, “wow, I’m sorry to hear that but it’s still funny” laugh. No, this was a “that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard and I will never let you live it down” laugh. And it was, fortunately, a laugh that signaled his acceptance.

“Don’t relax yet, colt,” Night warned with a none too friendly chuckle. “When Shining Armor finds out about this, my lectures will seem like foalsplay.” With Night Light’s inspiring message of hope for the future, Cerulean raised his eyes to the sky and wished for a frypan to mercifully take him to the realm of dreams.