Some mornings, Spike could tell it was a day that shouldn’t be met head on. This morning in particular, he could just sense that only disaster would befall any attempt to leave the relative safety of the small basket he called a bed, and with such thoughts he contented himself to sleep in. What Spike was likely picking up on was that today was the day hormones carried the lavender mare he cared so much about across the line between strange and disgusting.

Twilight awoke to find herself extremely hungry rather than simply feeling ill. She didn’t bother to wake Cerulean, instead making straight for the kitchen and, checking to make sure nopony was watching, began to stuff her face with her favorite ice cream. To her dismay, she found it to be somewhat lacking in its usual ability to sate her cravings, and she stared at it crestfallen a moment before taking another spoonful, shifting it around her tongue as she attempted to identify what exactly could be missing. She levitated three bowls out and shoveled a small amount of ice cream into each, being careful to make sure they were exactly the same sizes. After five minutes of resizing the lumps, she began sorting through the cupboards and grabbing whatever ingredients met her eyes. It wasn’t long before a whole array of spices, vegetables, and condiments lined the counters.

Her immediate thought was something simple, like chocolate syrup, but a nagging doubt told her that wasn’t the solution. She instead found herself leaning more towards the mustard, even while what little remained of the rational side of her brain screamed its opposition. She hesitated a moment before squeezing out a small dollop and gingerly taking a bite. As the mixture graced her taste buds her eyes lit up with pure joy, and she coated the rest of the scoop before all but inhaling it. She immediately prepared to doctor the two remaining bowls when the thought hit her; what other combinations have yet to be discovered?

The mustard soon found itself abandoned as she sifted through the various bottles and containers, her stomach pointing towards the jar of pickles. Twilight began munching on one and attempted to put the lid back on but her mind railed against the thought, and she eyed it curiously until she understood. Pouring the juice all over the ice cream, she found this too to be a creation worthy of the Solar Princess herself. Fortunately for the princess, Twilight was quite selfish with her meal, and soon only one bowl remained.

Sweat began to bead on her forehead as she struggled to make the last choice. Curry powder? Dried parsley? Tartar sauce? Tartar sauce! She didn’t even bother to sample it, she just poured a liberal supply of the thick sauce over the slightly melted, mostly frozen sweet treat before messily devouring the concoction, licking the bowl clean and relishing the after taste. “Wait a minute, who said I have to be done?” she quipped to herself, smiling gleefully as she grabbed the tub of ice cream and began doling out new portions, eyes shining with anticipation as she turned towards a whole world of possibilities just waiting to be sampled.

Cerulean woke with a start as Twilight frantically shook him awake. Her ability to sit still while sleeping seemed to decrease as her size increased, and as a result of night after night of shifting, he’d acquired a medical case of sleep deprivation. He had operated under little sleep before back when he was attending classes at Canterlot Magic Academy, so he was able to maintain his cheery disposition for the most part, though that didn’t make it any easier to pry open his eyes.

“Hnnn, wasit?”

“Huh? Didn’t quite catch that.” The groggy stallion rubbed his eyes with a hoof and blinked a few times, giving himself a few moments to awaken before attempting to speak again.

“Morning, Twi. What is it?”

“Close your eyes and open your mouth. Trust me, this is going to be amazing!” Cerulean obeyed, and was completely unprepared for the mess that was hastily scooped into his open maw. “I can’t believe nopony has tried this before! It’s simply...” she continued before her words were interrupted as Cerulean spewed the “ice cream,” all over the floor, sputtering and coughing as his half awake brain tried to comprehend what had just been stuck in his mouth.

“I can believe it...” he moaned, too shocked to bother wiping away the trickle of drool that was building on the floor as he hung his head over the edge of the bed. “What... what was that? It was cold, and sweet, and salty... and just downright wrong, Twilight.”

“It was just ice cream,” Twilight said softly, disappointed that he hadn’t enjoyed her addition of vinegar, lemon grass, and ground anise to the frozen treat.

“Ok, gathering by the temperature and consistency, I can believe that,” he remarked, plodding wearily over to the bathroom and stepping around the mess he had made on the floor. After giving his mouth a thorough rinsing he returned with a wash cloth and cleaned it up. He was about to ask what all Twilight had added before noticing that she had left, and finishing up he made his way downstairs to find her experimenting further, ninety five percent of everything in the kitchen in total disarray all around him. He watched in awe and revulsion as she placed another scoop of ice cream into a bowl and layered a couple of her favorite discoveries for the morning atop it before downing it with gusto, giggling happily as she savored the bliss dancing across her tastebuds.

“Uh, Twilight? Did you even see what you just put into that?” Cerulean asked, growing increasingly worried. He knew that mares with foal are prone to strange habits, but this... this couldn’t be healthy.

“Uh huh! I’ve been making a list so I can remember for later too!” she declared proudly, levitating the list over to him to see. Her excitement slowly drained as his disgust grew, his facial expressions heightening her sense of embarrassment at her newfound tastes. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt you to be a little more supportive,” she stated indignantly, yanking the paper away and turning away.

“Sorry, Twilight, I can’t wrap my head around how anything on that page could possibly taste good. I’m going to go take a shower. Why don’t you try to find something else to eat?” Twilight sulked as he ascended the steps and the water began to flow. She stared miserably at all the combinations that hadn’t been tried before relenting and starting to put things away. She had just finished reloading the spices when a new thought struck her.

“Something else, huh? Well how about a smoothie!” she squealed, eyeing the remaining ingredients carefully. “This is almost as fun as magic! Let’s see, a little of this...” she started, levitating whatever caught her eye into the blender and using some yogurt as a base. She ignored the nauseatingly dark green color that her ingredients had turned the mess before taking a small sip and nearly falling over as the glorious mixture reached out to grace her taste buds. Whether or not Cerulean could appreciate her newfound mastery of the element of taste, she was determined to share her talent with everypony she could reach.

The cleansing flow all around helped ease Cerulean away from the weirdness of the morning and into an isolated current of peace. He didn’t normally allow himself to indulge, but after thirty minutes he forced himself to exit, drying himself hastily and cantering downstairs to find Twilight nowhere to be seen. There was no note, and he wandered into the kitchen to find most of the ingredients still sitting out on the counter top. He set about putting them away and, having finished, turned to wash out the blender. Cerulean gave it a cautionary whiff before blanching, sending it straight to the sink with his magic and turning on the faucet full blast to wash away whatever twisted alchemy Twilight had used to master such a disaster.

Finishing the deed, he ate a proper breakfast and sat down on the couch, contemplating what he should do. Was she angry that he had normal tastes? If she had left angry, then the smart thing to do would be to chase after her and make amends. If, however, she had left for any other reason, there was really no cause for alarm and he could catch up on his sleep. As he attempted to find the proper solution he found himself unable to resist the soothing call of unconsciousness.

“Pinkie Pie! Do you have some free time this afternoon?”

“Sure, Twilight! What did you want to do?”

“Oh, I was thinking we could do some baking! See, I’ve had a flash of inspiration, and I want to share my gift with everypony!” she declared proudly, her trusty list at her side.

“Wow, that sounds super fun! So what did you want to make? Cupcakes? Pie? More cupcakes?” she exclaimed, trotting in place excitedly.

“Let’s start with whatever is the most simple. I haven’t really done much baking before.”

“You know, Twilight, I taught Cerulean how to make cupcakes a while back. You could have just asked him.”

“He’s in one of his moods this morning, no appreciation for talent,” she muttered, following Pinkie Pie into the kitchen. Twilight had an even harder time accepting Pinkie’s methods than Cerulean, and it was a good hour before the first batch came out, looking more like charcoal than anything else. After half an hour of unsuccessfully trying to apply her own logic to the process, Twilight caved and allowed Pinkie’s madness free reign over the proceedings, immediately yielding a tray of pristine cupcakes. After a few more repetitions they moved on to pie, then cake, and finally cheesecake. Twilight had been furiously scribbling notes throughout the course of the morning, and she gave a satisfied nod before bidding Pinkie good day and heading back home.

The triumphant slamming of the door signaled Twilight’s return to the library, and the end of Cerulean’s nap. He refused to budge, cracking open an eye and watching as Twilight skipped to the kitchen to begin her afternoon of baking. Cerulean soon drifted back to sleep while Twilight fired up the oven, making as many cupcakes as she could, altering Pinkie’s recipe dramatically while keeping her methods the same, and soon the tasty looking pastries were filling the kitchen with a scent that took all Twilight’s self control to resist.

As she pulled out the last of the batch, she got right to the next, and perhaps most important, step in the process. The frosting was soon evenly distributed, and Twilight set about packing them in some boxes that Pinkie Pie had generously donated. She threw open the door and levitated the boxes out single file, stacking them neatly before turning to Cerulean who was snoring softly on the couch, and Twilight took pity on him, leaving a box of the treats beside him. As if by magic, she realized it would be terribly rude of her not to share with her mentor, and she quickly drafted a letter, waking Spike who wordlessly sent it off with the package before rolling away and attempting to fall back asleep. Twilight smiled a bit before racing back to her boxes to set up shop in town.

Finding an empty spot was fairly easy, and even though she had no stall, ponies heeded her voice and came to experience “the ultimate fix for a sweet tooth Equestria had to offer.” Much to Twilight’s dismay, her first few customers were less than satisfied with the concoction, and the pregnant mare quickly grew frustrated with everypony’s lack of understanding.

“Fine, don’t like my baking? I’ll make you all like my baking!” Even as she cast the “Want it, Need it” spell, her senses told her it was a bad idea. She mentally shoved a cupcake in her rationalities mouth to silence the yammering buffoon and watched with glee as everypony nearby fell eagerly upon her creations. Soon at least a hundred ponies had eaten their fill, faces coated with frosting and desperately licking the crumbs from the ground to sate their sudden, intense, all consuming desire for Twilight’s sweets.
“More, I need more!” Lyra wailed, turning towards Twilight. She gave a slight pause as Bon Bon cleaned what little remained of the frosting from her face before joining her plea.

“Indeed, there must be more! You, lavender mare, give us more!” a massive stallion by the name of Quakehoof bellowed, pounding a hoof and causing a small tremor to surge through the ground. The shouts intensified as everypony that had eaten the cupcakes turned and started marching towards her.

Celestia looked up from the documents on her desk as she perceived an incoming message. She read the simple note and opened the box to see a dozen normal looking, though slightly strange smelling, cupcakes. Her skepticism drew not from fear of a repeated intoxication but rather some sort of food poisoning, but she decided to give Twilight the benefit of the doubt and bit into one. The papers upon her desk were soon bathed in partially chewed pastry, the taste impossible to place but definitely not fit for consumption. As she gratefully cleared the lingering remnants away with a purifying flow of water, she couldn’t help but giggle, as she now had an excuse to dispose of the braindead proposal from her least favorite politician in all of Equestria. She made a mental note to thank Twilight later, and she stowed the remaining cupcakes for future use should he persist.

“There isn’t anymore, I spent all morning baking those!” Twilight explained, backing away as their frenzied shouts grew louder. She began to revoke the spell, but she could only focus on one pony at a time, and she quickly came to a troubling realization; she was in way over her head. She turned to run but found herself surrounded as the mob closed in. She teleported back to the library to try and figure out a solution, knowing it was only a matter of time before the horde discovered her.

“Twilight, what’s wrong? Are you all right?” Cerulean said as she teleported into the center of the main room, panting and shaking slightly.

“I enchanted my cupcakes and now everypony is trying to get me!” Cerulean stared blankly at Twilight’s wild eyes with an utter lack of comprehension, an increasingly common occurrence as she progressed through her pregnancy.

“Ok, let’s assume for a moment that I had any idea what you’re talking about, what would you have me do?”

“I don’t know! We’re going to have a horde of cupcake hungry ponies at our door any minute and I can’t think of any way to fix this!” Cerulean could only sigh as he grew even more confused, and he followed a frantic Twilight into the kitchen as she began making more cupcakes.

“Twilight, I can’t imagine anything you’ve been baking this morning would be anything anypony would want, no offense.”

“No, I am offended, but fortunately for you I have bigger problems to deal with!” she retorted, continuing and throwing the first batch in the oven as they felt vibrations in the floor with increasing intensity. Cerulean noticed the frustration turn to fear in an instant, and he dashed to the window to see the imminent approach of nearly half of Ponyville. He pushed down his rising anxiety as he noticed that every iris of every eye looked like hearts.

“Twilight, you used magic on those cupcakes, didn’t you,” he inquired, their situation finally being understood. Twilight nodded miserably and returned to the kitchen. “Twilight, they’re just going to keep coming, it won’t matter how many of those cupcakes you bake. We need to dispel the enchantment.”

“But I can’t do more than one pony at once! They’ll be here in a few seconds!” Cerulean thought for a moment before breaking into a grin. Twilight shook her head as he revealed his crazy plan. “Cerulean you can’t be serious! That’s way too dangerous for you, there’s no way I’m letting you do that,” Twilight said firmly. Her commitment wavered as a steady pounding of hooves sounded at the door.

“Twilight, you’re going to have to trust me. Quickly, before there’s no time left!” Twilight closed her eyes and summoned her magic, cloaking Cerulean in her aura before the color faded slowly from sight. Cerulean planted her with a kiss before running upstairs, summoning his wings, and jumping out of the window. He circled back around and called out the mass of ponies, who immediately fixed their gaze on him.

“Hey, everypony! I know you all want some of this!” he yelled, motioning to himself as the masses below gave chase. He drew them away from the library to give Twilight time to find a proper spell to work on the horde, landing on a low cloud to conserve his magic reserves. Cerulean lost his focus as the ponies below began standing on top of each other, stacking as many as ten atop each other before falling in a heap and trying again. “This is just... Twilight, even with all my knowledge of the fighting arts, I don’t think I know a single spell as crazy as this. I’m just glad there are no pega...” he murmured to himself, his thought cut off as Rainbow Dash careened into him, knocking him from his place of rest as she locked her arms around his waist.

“Cerulean, I never knew you were so awesome!” she said dreamily, ignoring their swift descent towards the writhing mass of ponies below.

“Rainbow Dash, cut it out! This is no time for... oh, buck me,” he muttered, noting her eyes matched those of everypony else. He summoned his wings to lessen the impact, and she leaned towards him before being tossed aside by another one of the ponies, each eager to get a piece of the quaking blue stallion that lay defenseless on his back. “Twilight, help memfff!” he called out before he was buried under the throng.

“Come on, there has got to be something somewhere for a mass cancellation! I’ve seen Celestia use it!” Twilight said as she sifted through the rows of tomes on the shelves, failing to find anything useful on the subject. Spike, unable to avoid being awoken by the din, wandered downstairs to find a way to appease the frantic mare, if only for the sake of peace and quiet.

“Twilight, what are you doing?”

“Spike, help me find a text on wards!”

“Try the ‘Big Book of Wards and Counter Spells’ under ‘B,’” he replied, reaching for the tome before Twilight yanked it away and delved in. After a few minutes she gave a squeal of delight, marking the page and dashing out into the streets, which were strangely empty. A growing sense of urgency prompted her to teleport to the town centre where she found a giant mound of ponies engaged in combat over her fiancé, who could be seen every now and again, flying through the air and screaming for all his lungs were worth.

“Cerulean, hang on, I’m coming!” Twilight shouted as she drew near to the outer ring. Opening the book, she began forming the spell in her horn. She teleported to the center as she cast the spell, and soon a soft violet light began cleansing the area of the effects of her ill fated ensorcellment. As the ponies came back to their senses, they quickly felt the effects of the cupcakes and left to go seek a means of calming the churning with. At least, most of the ponies. Lyra and Bon Bon came to their senses to find both of their tongues consuming most of the space within Cerulean’s mouth, and their disgust was not with the food consumed, but with the recipient of their affection.

“Like, ewww! I was totally kissing a stallion,” Bon Bon exclaimed, standing and sputtering all over his face. Lyra’s reaction was much the same, and they left to right their heinous mistake in the comfort of their home. Cerulean lay breathless flat on his back, not having enjoyed the experience in the slightest and quite scuffed up from all the unwanted attention. Twilight stood over him, intending to revive him with a kiss before noting the drool around his mouth that was not his own, and instead sat beside him, placing a hoof on his chest.

“Given that those two are known fillyfoolers, I will overlook your unfaithfulness just this once, Cerulean. Be thankful for being spared immediate immolation,” she chuckled. Cerulean’s mind began to function once more, and he hastily wiped away the remnants of the other two mares’ saliva, spitting a couple of times to rid himself of the taste.

“Twilight, you have no idea how traumatizing that was for me! I mean, do you know how many lips I’ve kissed today? Too many!” he wailed, struggling to his feet and shaking his head.

“Well I’ve gotta give it to ya, Cerulean, you managed to evade the fastest pony in Ponyville, so you should be proud!” Rainbow Dash laughed, taking off as Cerulean whirled around to give her a piece of his mind. Instead he found himself locked in Big Macintosh’s gaze.

“Oh please, tell me you didn’t...”

“Eeeyup.”

“You just can’t get enough of me, can you.”

“Nnnope.”

“Let us never speak of this again.”

“Eeeyup.”