I Am Not Spartacus - A Call to Burden the Bear
by Dan's Comments
Based in the 'Your Human and You' universe by MadMaxtheBlack
This story is NOT canon with Your Human and You

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

It's pretty clear that sleeping on a gravel beach is not the picnic I had thought it would be, the stones weren't insulation, they leached the heat right out of me. I had tossed and turned for a good five hours, dozing off until the cold woke me enough to move, then more tossing and turning, doze, and then I slept, soundly and at the time I had no idea why.

Waking provides more questions than answers. The stones on one side of where I'd slept were pushed down, as if something heavy had been set on them. On the other side, there was a lens-shaped depression much deeper than the first.

Now I walk the two anomalies and think. The 'set down' is easily 8 feet wide, 14 feet long and about three inches deep at the lowest point. The lens is a uniform five inches deep, from two to about eleven inches wide as it curves from narrow to wide back to narrow, and a bit under 8 feet wide. And I cannot for the life of me figure out what the heck happened. If it was a joke, it's a puzzler not a laugher.

I sit on one of the stones some ways from the shoreline and drum my fingers on my knee. Then I stop and look at my hand. Fingers curled, wrist and forearm on my leg, and look at the depression. If I had a wrist 8 feet wide, and really skinny fingers, that's the shape they'd make if I cupped something under my hand. I'm tall and kinda skinny, my wrists are maybe two and a quarter inches. Assuming the same build, whatever made this was about 250 feet tall. Now invoke the square-cube law for reality and make its wrists say 4 inches and make the thing the human-equivalent of 4 feet tall, like an elephant rather than an ostrich, and that still means it was about 100 feet tall. Something the size of a blue whale reached out a hand to keep me from freezing. While I appreciate the sentiment, anyone who's ever talked to a Canadian about regional politics understands the consequences of having a really big, friendly friend, who isn't always so deft as they think. 'Long-tailed cat with a roller-skating elephant'. Add rockets to some of the roller-skates and I think we have a winner.

This is the same. Unless it was put there by Pink or the Great White to freak me out. An intelligence test, if I make the connections and go batshit crazy in terror, I'm intelligent. Only one problem, so far, only earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi have tried to hurt me. Even the local dogs haven't bitten me. They have snapped and missed, but usually they don't go out of their way to attack. So if this isn't a pony, I might not have anything to worry about. That said, the elephant on rocket skates probably doesn't have any malice either. Doesn't help as it trumpets 'sorry' after it runs over your tail.

Suddenly, I catch another glimpse of something else. I walk over to the circular depression about 12 feet across and easily eight-inches deep. At the bottom are two of what I first thought were really gruesome but accurate cardboard cutouts. Then I realize that they are, were, ponies. A couple of escaped prisoners or a couple of assassins, squashed very flat. Not splatted like you got with a fly hit by a swatter, but crushed, like something caught them and applied a great deal of force, very slowly. The similarities to squeezing a juice orange don't escape me. There being no blood splatter adds to the similarity. Something squeezed the life and fluids from these two, leaving a pair of desiccated husks.

I take some time to look around my prison and realize that the lake is large enough to hold something very big, but something this vast, even if it is sessile, is ridiculous. So whatever it is, it can't be human-shaped, but it's also instantly protective, lethally so. So, what is it that's bigger than a bread box, likes humans as pets or objects of interest, and has no problem physically or psychologically crushing ponies to death? And can do so quietly enough that I never woke up while it was happening. Sound dampening magic or so terrifying that the ponies never even had a chance to scream? Or it crushed them sideways and later laid their corpses out flat when it finished?

All in all, a very disturbing revelation for first thing in the morning.

The scream of terror from the hardened ponies of the prison guard does nothing for my sense of well-being. They leave breakfast behind, maybe breakfast for a lot of the prisoners, as they run screaming down the corridor. They also leave the gate open.

I drag the breakfast wagon in and find the simmering pot of gruel is nearly empty. I relock the door, hang the keys on the breakfast wagon and ladle a bowl for myself of the leavings at the bottom. This stuff is worse than tasteless, it seems to suck all the flavor out of everything it touches and effectively murders it. Bologna on white with mayo would be a taste sensation compared to this material. It seems to be ground up lima beans mixed with grits and boiled until the last nutrient and flavor molecule has given up the ghost and fled. So food may still be an issue. Still, there have to be fish in this lake. Fish that aren't 30-feet long and 20% teeth by volume.
------------------------------

It is quite a bit later that a contingent of guards arrives. They snicker that 'Percy locked himself back in and left the keys where they could be seen' tells me the group isn't hostile. Armor (in full-battle armor) as well as the 'Four Corners' and Pink all arrive. Pink looks ridiculous wearing armor, like a cheerleader in full combat dress still with her makeup and pompoms. Pink practically tackles me, but she does set my cello case aside before doing so. She's crying, so I hug her back, and act as if her distress is all that's wrong. The Four Corners react with disgust to incredulity.

Then the military looks at the mashed villains, so I also lead Armor over to the 'handprint' where I was sleeping. Difficult considering Pink won't let go. When he doesn't understand, I make the hand gesture which duplicates what I think happened. I didn't think it was possible for him to get paler than he normally is. Wrong again. The Four Corners are even more frightened.

It worries them even more that I'm not bothered. I already realized if it had wanted to hurt me, it would have. That kind of makes me willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. Now, if it were a giant pony, that would have me frightened.

So while they're chattering about old prisoner tales about monsters in the lake, large fish they've actually seen, and generally scaring the crap out of each other, I unpack the cello and check out the strings.

My first pluck is answered by filly-like screams from all of them. I try to make the cello produce a similar sound, it's too low a register, but the modulations and pitch changes are fairly accurate. I look at them all blushing and staring at each other, then I smile. That freaks the Four Corners out more than the flattened corpses did.

"Nightmare Moon did that to him," Pink explains, "I haven't had the courage to ask Princess Luna why. She keeps running away from me when she sees me."

Drag her down her by the ears, she likes that.

I start playing a couple of bits of the sheet music I had left in the case. The Four Corners are really staring now. I feel like Stringfellow Hawke serenading eagles, or whatever lives in the lake. The ponies are soon relaxing, ah music hath charms to soothe the savage beast. The original is breast, but breasts aren't savage, they're cuddly, what takes offense at the unwanted cuddling is the savage part.

They're all calm, quiet, relaxed, not noticing the huge eye surfacing out of the water to watch. I don't react. Something that big is almost more dangerous panicked than on the attack. I vaguely wonder if Octavia realizes her 'too fast to play' music can also serve as a lullaby when slowed down even further.

The splash as it submerges breaks the spell and all the ponies are staring in terror at the lake, and the large ripples coming towards the shore. From the time and the speed of the ripples, that eye was quite large a fair distance away. Without a reference I can't tell how big, but I suspect it was glowing, or I'd have never seen it at that distance. The panic runs through them, but a scratch behind the ears on Armor gets him to calm down a bit. Pink is looking quite put-upon that I'm not soothing her instead.

"Thank you," he whispers to me, then continues on with his rather cursory investigation.

I return to playing the cello. Pink is staring at me with dewy eyes. I honestly can't tell if she's happy, sad, or so angry she's crying, but no matter, she seems to be enjoying not having to be the reasonable peacemaker. A good challenge for her, to learn she can run up the black flag and slit throats with the rest of us.

There's an interval of hugs, tearful from Pink and the Four Corners, stoic from Armor, then I'm alone with my new dancing partner.

I begin a concert of several pieces, some from the music, some from memory. And for most of the rest of the day, only echos accompanied me. That I might be torturing some poor souls imprisoned here, who'd only heard whatever the latest children's music was, I couldn't have cared less.
------------------------------

Several days pass with the same pattern. A team fearfully delivers a double portion of breakfast. I suspect it is from the guards' breakfast kitchen rather than the prisoners' gruel, because it actually tastes like something. I would almost prefer the gruel, or at least of cup of it to deal with the aftertaste of this stuff. Then a concert for my admirer, and a few attempts to climb the walls and barriers to see if there is anything beyond.

Now while I am in good shape, free climbing on damp, somewhat crumbly rocks slows my progress to the point that this ends up being more exercise than escape attempt. From what my more dark-adapted eyes can see, this lake is very large, and I've seen some of the denizens. None as large as my friend, but nothing I'd want to risk swimming with either. The occasional skeleton of a pony stripped to the bone poking up out of the water doesn't hurt either.

I usually make my way back to my 'cell' in time for the bed check. Then it's sleep. I don't try to be clever and 'feign sleep' to lure it in and make a surprise revelation. My day's activities leave me feeling tired enough that sleep comes easily. Besides, if it wanted me to get a good look at it, it could reveal itself at any time.

The fifth day, my patience is rewarded, sort of. The addition to being held in the large creature's 'hand' as I slept came in the form of a small shoal of the little, blue ribbons. There weren't enough of them to really cover me like a blanket, so they settled on covering my feet, hands and head. Nice of them. Pieces of Nightmare, but they didn't feel hostile, considering what happened to her, they seemed more like pets looking for a new owner/home. The idea that Nightmare Moon wasn't a single entity, but a composite of many leads down some very interesting roads. I'd read enough science-fiction and fantasy to know about creatures that fed on emotions. I wonder if these pieces feed on intense desires. Like my desire to a) stop having to kill everything that confronted me, b) go home, and c) if I can't go home, find intelligent humans and start a family or even a colony. That leads to a very uncomfortable possibility with Luna's transition to Nightmare Moon. That they intensify these desires, to obsession and madness.

Hopefully, I will discover what they need to survive, if they are dangerous, and if I can keep Luna from killing them once she discovers that some of them survived. Of course, theoretically, another dose of the Elements of Harmony would deal with them. Or they might be self-sustaining, and not have any effect on the 'host' beyond what a pet would. I think, if I decide to keep them, it's going to take a lot of diplomacy and research. Well, I hadn't been planning on doing anything else anyway.

The first demonstration of their power was given after the ponies left my breakfast. Interesting that the critters hid from the ponies. Fortunately they didn't hide under my kilt. Considering the reaction the first one had to me, I almost expected that. While interesting, it also would have been extremely embarrassing.

One of them, settled on my brow and suddenly it was day, not night. The darkness was light colored and all the details stood out like black lines on a white board. The effect is startling, and takes a few moments to get used to. I know a little about taking photos with different light sources, that's what medical x-rays are, but this is more like VR goggles, or some kind of radar sense. It makes everything look like a wire frame drawing. I can see the fish swimming about, and the structure of the stalactites hanging from the ceiling. Some of them are massive!

I also spot my 'night nurse'. The description out of Lovecraft certainly fits 'It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster than any subway train - a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes forming and un-forming as pustules of greenish light all over the tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us'. The creature certainly fits the Old Man from Providence's description, as if done by a six-year-old, and that the word 'scary' was never part of the discussion. Frankly, aside from being as big as a pair of elephants standing side by side, it actually looks kind of cute.

It's also looking a bit nervous as it realizes I'm looking right at it, despite it being underwater. I decide to start the concert. That draws it closer. It thins itself out so it can get right up to the shoreline. Then it squeezes between the spaces between the gravel. I don't see the gravel move, but I can see the shapes as it passes between the stones.

I have my own theories why it hasn't escaped. Panicky ponies being my first guess. That and something like that would probably be attacked as soon as it lurched out of the darkness. Ponies in my experience have proven so tolerant and understanding of the feelings of other races. They are always and forever the soul of love and tolerance. As long as you have four hooves and a tail, aren't from the zebra lands, aren't from a lower-class city than they live in, aren't too loud or too strange, and have something they want, they will treat you as their dearest friend. John Hobbes or Plato would look at these ponies, then go have a good long cry in his beer. My experience with most ponies is exactly as Hobbes described life, nasty, brutish and short. Only the most powerful or forceful personalities can be what all ponies claim they stand for. The others follow the baser instincts of the herd: xenophobia and bullying.

The blue ribbon on my brow leaves during the concert, I get a suspicion that it's tired. But there's nothing to base that suspicion on, unless that is their form of communication. Inspirations, flashes of insight, deja vu may be how they talk. But I'm guessing on very limited information.

Once the concert is complete, I see no indication of the shoggoth, and when I walk into the water, I am met only with freezing cold water. So it either opened up holes in itself, or it has retreated completely. Either way, it isn't ready for physical contact. Or it is afraid of me. Stranger things have happened.

I spend the next hours before lights out interacting with the ribbons. During that time, I cannot shake the odd feeling of being watched, not by the ribbons or my friend, but by something else. Something I cannot see. I vaguely wonder if that something, possibly Luna, possibly Celestia, had sent the ribbons, to see how I'd handle a 'first contact' situation, how I'd learn to communicate with something that lacked my primary means of communication. It's an absurd thought, but I can't get the thoughts out of my head, and I also realize how ridiculous it is that any of the ponies would be 'grading' me on how I handle a situation where most ponies react with either terror, or a plan to bash it unconscious and enslave it.

As for communicating, they don't seem to have the problem-solving intelligence that humans do. They seem more like a school of fish, darting in, flashing away, and very hard to discern their intelligence and desires. Besides, it's my other companion that I want to contact. If this thing is anything like a real shoggoth, heh 'real' as if a fantasy monster from one genre would apply to this new world. If it were intelligent, it would definitely have its own set of desires and plans. I just have to guess what they are, and try to use them to make contact.

I do, however, recover a few of the pony bones to see if I can make a fishing spear, and some tools to butcher the fish when I get them. I also doubt that I can cook the fish, or salt them, so this is busy work. I also need them to kill the fish if they follow me onto the shore. I am not going to depend exclusively on my new friends to defend me from something coming after me.

The next day looks like I will have to put the plans to communicate with my two, new friends on hold. Three pegasi arrive well before breakfast. The ribbons are no where to be seen, and despite their guards' armor, I am getting a very bad feeling about the trio flying over the lake rather than coming through the corridor. They are also laughing quietly. As I teacher, I've seen small groups of assholes psyching themselves to do something wrong. This has all the earmarks. There is also no feeling of being watched. Either somebody is asleep at the switch, or I am supposed to be lulled by the feeling and should be asleep when they arrive, or they were watching to figure out the best time to do this.

I watch them flare and land. I show no outward sign of interest. But the club I'd crafted from the pelvis and femur from the skeletons is hidden in the gravel beside me.

"Come here," the leader says in a singsong, she's waving her butt and tail, "Come on you know you want it."

Not really, not by a long shot. The others chuckle. My blood runs cold. Not because I can't take three pegasi who aren't expecting it, but because I thought I'd put this behind me. I am not thinking this is a 'test' by Armor or Celestia. Because in the remote chance that it is, then it's time to be done with ponies entirely.

This is clearly a threat, and I don't intend to wait for the first rape to act. But I am going to let them force me into a corner.

"Just drag him over here, he'll get the idea," the leader says, something I've heard from ponies for years. Sometimes directed at me, sometimes just said in my hearing. It always presages pain and humiliation for the human.

Corner achieved. The two followers advance. "What does Celestia have that we don't?"

"She asks," I tell them. All three freeze, it won't last, but I can act, they can't. One gets a face full of gravel as the club lashes out and catches the second follower on the joint of wing and body. It shears through and severs the wing. Before the first can start to scream, I hit the second at the same point, but the club splinters. It's still enough to dislocate the wing. That's two down. I throw the bleeding wing into the water. The third pegasus wakes from her paralysis, and rears to bring her hooves to bear.

The screeches of the other two convince her to 'wisely' keep her wings folded, but that also means she can't fly. As she rears, I jab underhand with the jagged bone, slashing her belly where neither armor nor ribs protect her vitals. The bone splinters further, but still bloodies her and makes her squeal herself.

She shies from a handful of gravel, she tries to keep her wings out of my reach. But that's not my target. The last thing she sees is my thumbs entering her eyes. Now she really shrieks as she whirls around striking in all directions with every limb she has. But I'm well out of reach of the whirlwind.

I close in on the more out of it of the first pair. Well, she wanted me to stick something in, she gets her turn first. The jagged bone slams in under her tail with all my strength behind it, and she lets off a sound that no one in that prison will ever forget.

She's on her feet, kicking and squealing and shrieking as she plunges into the water. She tries to dislodge the bone, but with one wing she just worries it around the wound. The blinded pegasus also has stumbled into the water and is thrashing around.

The third is looking at me in terror, I smile broadly and point to the water. "Humans can't swim, remember?"

That's all it takes and she's charging into the water with the others. I throw the bloodied bone shards into the water to police up the area, then rinse my hands. As the backwash and exhaustion from the adrenaline rush hits, I sit back and watch. Blood, the noise of wounded prey, and no coordination among the three, should be the recipe. I'm not angry, or frightened. I am what ponies like these so lovingly crafted, a killing machine. The gears turned, the lights flashed, and the answer was provided. The ponies just never expected to be the recipients.

The first fish looks like a cross between a python and a pike, it rises to rip a piece from the blind one. A moment later, another drags the bloody wing under.

The sound of the guards at the door spoils my watching the last of the tentative bites. I'm at the door blocking the way, and watching the feeding frenzy start. None of the three is thinking, not as soldiers, not as people in 'shark'-infested waters. They are all acting every bit as prey animals, terrified, wounded prey animals facing predators.

One of the guards telekinetically picks me out of the way and the guards charge in. They stop well short of the shoreline. I do my best 'frightened human' act to herd them away from the shoreline. It's hard, not because they resist, but they are horrified by the size of the denizens of the lake that are tearing those three ponies to pieces. The unicorn who'd moved me is too shocked to even try to save any of the pegasi before they disappear under the water.

Once I've got them back in the corridor, I close and lock the door, then throw the keys to them. I take a position on the highest place in the 'cell' and watch the waters. They are glassy smooth again, not a ripple, not a bubble. There seems to be no blood stains on the gravel, and no evidence of the struggle. No feathers, no scraps of skin or hide, not even any sign of what I did to the leader. Although if they scraped beneath my fingernails, they'd find some. So I locate a piece of rock to scrape those out and I keep watching to water.

It takes nearly an hour for the next contingent of ponies to arrive. Armor is among them. He doesn't seem eager to question me, but pulls the breakfast crew aside.

"What the hay made them think they could come out here?" he hisses at the breakfast crew leader, "They're almost lucky the fish got them. If they'd carried out their little plan, if Percy didn't kill them, one of the princesses would."

Oh joy, they told their fellow guards what they had planned and nopony stopped them. That bodes so well for my continued stay here. My opinion of ponies is just rising by leaps and bounds here.

"Did any of you idiots think why the restriction on flying over the lake exists?" he asks the crew.

I see a whole series of safety lectures in their future. As long as there's no repetition of today's events, I don't really care.

I start the concert on time, although without breakfast. That gives Armor a strange expression, then when he hears the selection of music, mostly dirges, he accepts. The breakfast crew are taking the dirges to apply to them. Having your colleagues planning on using the Captain of the Guard's human, who has a relationship with the Solar Diarch herself, without either giving permission is not a good thing. Saying nothing about it to any of those worthies is certainly career suicide. I do wonder who told him. The feeling of being watched only returned after Captain Armor's arrival, and my new friends don't seem the chatty type.

He leaves with the crew after a rather cursory investigation, and me tackling him and dragging him away from the water.

"I wasn't going to go in," he scolds, but then tousles my hair. "It's only for a little while longer," he adds quietly, "Sorry."

I don't follow him out, which amazes the guards. As much as I want to, I don't stare at them. Better they don't know that I know who my real enemies are here. Leave them in ignorance, and let nameless fears gnaw at them. Ponies are better at paranoia and lashing out, than analysis and dealing with the real issue.
------------------------------

Several more days follow a recognizable pattern. Wake with hood, boots and gloves: where were you guys when I needed you? Then breakfast, by an even more nervous crew than before. A concert, and then wait.

On the sixth day, I decided to take the shoggoth by the eyes. One of the ribbons is doing the 'wire-vision' thing and I know the shoggoth is in close, so I set the cello aside in mid song, and walk up to and carefully onto the water. I couldn't imagine that would panic my new friend, but it does. My foot hits the water, and it's under me, an eyeless section to step down on. It's not slimy, or cold. It's dry and somewhat warm. But it's the immediacy of the reaction that heartens me. I vaguely wonder what the interaction between this creature (or are there several) and the humans was, and how was it so singular that even a thousand years later a chance to rekindle it is jumped at. The ribbons follow as we begin moving out into the deeper water, and the motion isn't the creature rolling, it maintains a level platform for me.

The tentacles come out, touching me, looking at me, presumably smelling me. I guess to verify I'm not a pony in disguise. I'm not as ticklish as one, which seems to satisfy my host for a while.

Where we arrive is a major cavern branching off from the main one containing the lake. I can easily make it through the gap in the rocks, and so can my companions. I doubt a pony could even see it in these low-light conditions, unless they knew exactly where to look. Beyond this choke point is a sight like the caverns in France and Spain with the ancient cave paintings. They display hunting, some sort of ritual behavior/town meeting, the shoggoth being given sacrifices, and other details. But nothing about ponies. No interactions, no displays of ponies attacking them, nothing about Discord or any of the aspects that were so prevalent in pony culture. Which means the ponies brought diseases which wiped them out, or attacked so swiftly that like the death of Pompeii, they had no time to record the event. In any case, the humans used to be far more sophisticated than they once were. The midden heap brings further evidence, and a grand desire to have attended some actual archeology classes, rather than picked up some bits and pieces from The History Channel. I don't know if they were neolithic or paleolithic or something in-between. But they were clearly potters and tool makers. The broken shell tools and pot shards show that. No metal, not even in decorations. Native gold and silver are soft enough you can form them with a stick and a bit of elbow grease, but there's no evidence of that. Of course that and gems are common enough on Equestria that they lack the store of value they'd have on Earth. They'd just be pretty, but pretty evokes a lot in Terrestrial humans. People put different color glass bottles in walls to make them pretty and to admit light, so there should be gems just to add some sparkles. Unless the place has been picked clean in the intervening millennium.

My guide tugs me away after a time and leads me back through the gap and onto the lake. Actual for my guide it's into, for me it's onto my guide's back. The ribbons are tagging along with both of us.

We visit two more villages similarly cut into the lake cavern's branching arms. These show a similar development. Cave paintings, shell tools and pot shards, in one I see a mother of pearl inlay on something. The first example of ornamentation, or the first example that's still here. It's possible the ponies stripped the place of any gold or gems to feather their own nests. Considering the story of Hearth's Warming Eve, the early ponies were right royal bastards on par with the Nazis and the Bolsheviks: invading Equestria for Lebensraum for La Raza everything, for others nada. Since they couldn't abuse each other anymore, they had to find someone else. And the evidence around me shows pretty plainly that these new 'things to abuse' were someones, not somethings.

I have to wonder if Celestia sent me down here to see all this, as one of the few who could recognize it, and would have no impulse to 'sweep it under the rug'. The Chinese have a long and glorious history of 'the world begins with my reign' and destroying all records of previous times. The ponies might have a similar streak in them. Who am I fooling? Of course they do! Little Blue's existence was essentially erased. Ponies 'knew' that humans had always been animals. There're rumors about other monsters who may escape their confinement and rampage, and these aren't common knowledge. And if Tartarus is real, what's stored there? No one talks about it. The details of their entire civilization in the pre-Classical period are all legends, and as far as I know, no attempt has ever been made to return to their old homeland and investigate.

The night following is one of endlessly disturbed sleep, as I weigh all the speculations about this place, the people who had lived here. And what the ponies did to them when they found them. Human history is rife with the effects of weaker civilizations encountering stronger ones. Or the reign of self-important nobles/bureaucrats on the populace who cannot effectively retaliate. The weirdest part remains the dream.

I am on a factory manufacturing floor. Lights come on overhead as I walk. For someone else that might be spooky, I just assume it's motion-controlled lights. The place is where I earned a living while getting my Masters. I helped stage, direct and participate in a bunch of safety videos for industry. The hours weren't bad, and the pay kept a roof over my head and clothes on my back. And they catered lunch and breakfast, 0600 start time, so food stopped being a problem for a few weeks at a time. It also taught me that I didn't want to go to Hollywood or New York. 'Artists' are the toys of the money people and things that would get you arrested in most businesses are not just status quo, but de rigeur for the entertainment industry. Industrial and safety films were under the rules of regular industry, and the 'movie' veterans told the rest of us all kinds of horror stories about Hollywood, and New York. I made sure I could become a professor, and do a lot of community theater during the summers and winter breaks. It also prepared me for this place I realize, the movie moguls and Broadway backers are different from the ponies in only one way, the moguls can kill your career, the ponies can kill all of you.

The pony who trots out of the darkness is one of the ones who first captured me. Except I know this is a dream, so when the horn lights, the unicorn turns into a table lamp. I keep walking towards the big gantry crane and the large billets of material to be loaded into the Acme-Gridleys. We did a lot of heavy-load and repetitive-motion safety films. Aging workforce. The place is quiet, and the occasional pony who I knew from the bad old days I ignore, until they move against me. Then I make them unreal. Nets pass through me, unicorns' spells have no effect. All of it I ignore. I don't want to slaughter them, I don't want to give them the time of day. They only have power if I allow it, and I won't.

I can't shake the utter certainty that something is watching me. Then the shoggoth rolls out from behind one of the machines. Yes, the machines are big enough to hide a bus. The eyes are wide and searching. I walk over and rest a hand on it. The eyes slow and begin focusing on me. The eyes are like bubbles. They join and become larger until only two huge eyes look at me. I smile and pat the space between, and gesture for it to follow me. It rolls after me as we walk among the machines. I still have the feeling of being watched. I wonder, if Little Blue is supposed to be aligned with the night, does she have spells that let her watch dreams?

The unicorn I don't recognize. Crimson coat and black mane, he looked like a less artistic version of what the Great White changed me into. His blue eyes stare into mine. He lowers his head and paws the ground. Challenge. Except he proves as vulnerable to my control as all the others. As I walk towards him, he charges and passes through me with no effect. He gets into the cage where the billets are kept, then I let him be real. He quickly learns not to kick the framework supporting what amounts to 10 railroad rails per shelf.

I find the main office, and the banks of phones. I dial 911, and get a busy signal. Time, and get disconnected, my bank and play with the phone tree for a little while, never getting to talk to another human. I call the police, the fire department, the IRS help line, even suicide prevention, all of them either don't connect with a human, or the recorded messages send me in telephonic loops. I honestly don't know why I'm messing with the phones. Am I trying to connect with another human, even in as surreal a place as this?

I abandon my indulgent activity and move back into the factory proper. The place still occasionally throws up another pony who either put me in captivity, or mistreated me while I was a gladiator. Strangely, none of the ponies who were better, who treated me as something more valuable, or as a being to be properly handled, appear. Occasionally, I'd spot the shoggoth following me. But it doesn't stay close, disappearing into the shadows as I travel. And through it all, the certainty that someone somehow is watching. I get no impressions on approval or disapproval of this observer. It is not the reason I don't raise my hand against the phantoms of the past that my mind throws up. The reason I don't is that they don't matter. They are just dreams, they can only hurt me if I allow it.

In the morning, I'm not lying on the gravel, but on an extruded section of the shoggoth. The intimacy and consideration of the gesture only further proves this is not the old man from Providence's shoggoth. It retreats at breakfast, although I suspect that the ponies would panic more. It keeps an eye on me, so I finish quickly, then board my 'steed' and we head out into the lake.

There my trust is tested, as it forms a dome, trapping me inside it, and submerging. I don't freak out because when dealing with something that can bench press an elephant, and has no single vital spot, anything less than an obvious murder attempt demands you proceed with caution. It also has done me no harm despite many opportunities, and this doesn't feel like the 'god for a year then we sacrifice you' pattern. It obviously assumes I either know what's going on, or will figure it out.

The reason for the enclosure becomes apparent as we drift under the great bridge. Stealth. As powerful as this creature no doubt is, it either fears the ponies or wants little to do with them. Once we're a distance from the bridge, we surface and the dome retracts.

The gap in the cave wall is just as hard to see, but my guide knows where it is. We enter, but this isn't the entry to a town. The cave paintings are very specific. This is the shoggoth's nest, and the sacrifices offered by the humans were not food, but friends. More important, they were midwives. The images are very clear, sophisticated and detailed. The ribbons have something to do with the meiosis, the division/duplication of the chromosomes. I watch the ribbons move inside the huge creature. The ribbons begin vanishing. After a while, the creature itself began to narrow and pinch together. From the 'instructions', I touch and rub the surface, trying to soothe the creature as it pinches off its offspring. It takes most of the morning, but when it is done, the new piece, about a third of the total mass, opens its eyes and looks at me. We look at each other for a while, before the 'daughter' slips through the opening and moves away. The mother remains, even forming a concave surface clear of eyes, offering a place to rest. I honor her request. Whether she wants some emotional comfort, or if my proximity provides some unknown foodstuff. The wall instructions also support my actions. I haven't been harmed by my proximity, so I don't think there's anything I can't afford to lose. The walls seem to agree.

We stay there through the night. There are alarms and activity, but I ignore them. I already have a reputation for insanity. Wandering out of the cell, especially after the pony massacre, will only cement that reputation. As long as I get back before tomorrow's bed check I should be fine.
------------------------------

From the wrought iron table on the beach, I pick up and uncover the dish of carrots.

"AUGH! HE'S GONNA EAT US!" they scream.

Cover goes back on and the dish goes back on the table. I let out a breath as I look at the scrumptious dishes laid out before me, many of them my favorites, and then just shrug. You'd think ponies, with a sweet tooth like they all have, would have invented steamed/boiled carrots with a brown sugar glaze, but no.

Okay, what she 'eats' is the rationality of my dreams. I look at the elegant dinner set me before me on the beach and decide I am going to accept the rules as they stand. I throw the lobster back in the water.

"I can't swim!" it squealed as it sailed through the air.

Yep, internally consistent, but with no anchoring in anything like reality.

The girl isn't as alluringly curved as Celestia's human form. But she seems far more human, despite the jet black skin. Her green eyes are almost luminous, and the maillot she wears is decorated with multiple green eyes of various sizes.

"Hello," I say as I approach.

She continues to stare at me, showing no concern about my proximity. She smiles as she extends her arms, touching my shoulders, running her fingers over my upper arms and chuckling as she does.

"You have," she says, and struggles with the word, "An irregularity, I needed them, I've been so long without." She looks at me carefully. "I hope you do not mind that I could not explain myself before now."

"You didn't try to hurt me, and you protected me from the cold and my enemies," I reply, "That was a good start. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."

She nods, then stares over my shoulder. Now she's showing real concern.

The pony who appeared from around the head lands looks at them. It is clearly Little Blue's body, but the hardhat diving helmet with the 'horn dormer' shows that all is not well. The flippers on each hoof limit her to shamble worthy of a grant from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

My companion, the Lady of the Lake, chuckles slightly at Little Blue's antics.

Score one for our side. Her usual manner is rather off putting.

The large tanks hung over Little Blue's back are both labeled 'grins and rainbows'.

I crouch to look into the glass windows of the helmet, but can only see the swirls of colors rather than her features, but from her reactions, she can clearly see me.

"Why wouldst thou benight Our existence thus?" she asks, her voice echoing in the copper helmet.

"This is a dream," I reply as I stand back up, "It is supposed to be bizarre."

"Ponies' dreams are not so," she replies, turning her head this way and that, presumably to get a better look at me and the Lady of the Lake, who is stationed directly behind me.

"This is calm compared to some of my dreams," I tell her.

"There is a being We tremble at the thought of thy meeting," she says as I look over the gear she's strapped into. "Why doth Our wings and magic avail Us nothing?"

"I wouldn't take off the helmet if I were you. I suspect you can't comfortably live without it," I reply. The Lady of the Lake keeps me between herself and Little Blue, although she does grin occasionally. "I also suggest if you can't handle weird dreams, you stay out of mine. This is nothing. I had one a few weeks ago that would curl your hair. Or in your case, straighten your mane."

I noted the dial switch on the regulator, and the four settings: Luna, raft, barge, and aircraft carrier. It's currently set on 'Luna'. I suspect that her dignity is going to be seriously affronted if she stays. "In fact, you might want to leave right now."

"There is naught that could mortify Us more," she tells us.

"Just remember you said that," I tell her. I turn to my companion. "Luna, the Lady of the Lake, Lady of the Lake, Luna. I'm assuming you wanted to show me something."

"Yes, you seemed very interested in the history of this place," she says.

"Yes! Tis a mystery that hath plagued Our sister and Our own repose for years unending," Little Blue says with such ferocious enthusiasm, that she frightens the shoggoth.

"I'm guessing that the only way to see it is across the water," I say, and thankfully this dials down Little Blue's overwhelming exuberance.

She looks at her body, fins and presumably the inside of the helmet. "We art thy presumed mode of transport?" The tone is brittle, but more mortified than angry.

"No, we could forego the whole thing and try again later," I tell her.

There's a pregnant pause as Little Blue realizes everything needed for the quest has been assembled: Witness, Guide, and Transportation. And she's discovering she's not the witness.

She bows her head, and the unfamiliar weight of the helmet takes her all the way down. CLANG. She jerks her head up as I steady the helmet and try to damp down the ringing.

"Ow," she informs us, "Before Our brain settles, do what you must."

I switch the selector to 'raft'.

"Wait! Stop! We command thee! This is unacceptable! This, this, this is . . . " She trails off as she stabilizes at the size of a very fat Clydesdale. Her legs are a bit longer and more muscular, but not bloated like her body. Fortunately, her head neck and horn seem to have been immune. Other than being a ridiculous figure head attached to the Graf Luna.

"We despise thee and will punish thee fully on Our return," she murmurs.

The imp in me makes me foolish. "Lighten up," I say as I swat her on the butt. She feels not like a pool toy, but a basketball, solid with a little give.

She whirls around, and the now purple pony confronts me. "Repeat that transgression and We shall smite thee with all Our force and fury!"

"I apologize, I didn't mean to hurt you," I tell her.

Now she turns violet and shifts from foot to foot nervously. "Your apology is accepted. Now willst thou mount - how willst thou board?"

I leave that little verbal landmine laying right where it is. I have no need to know, no desire to know, and a strong sense of self-preservation. The urge to tease or even act is there, but oh, no. I'd better just leave it at that, and just get on with the 'mission'. Of course the shoggoth in human form is struggling not to smile, but the eyes on her swimsuit look like the eyes of someone killing themselves laughing. Every single one of them. Little Blue notices both reactions, and proceeds to go straight to violet without passing through purple.

Little, now Huge Blue, kneels and extends her tail. I help the lady climb up and follow after. Little Blue is noticeably quivering, and not because she's filled up on 'grins and rainbows'.

Little Blue steps into the water and begins paddling.

"You can go faster if you swish your tail," I tell her.

"What!?"

"Undulations, like a crocodile," I tell her.

"Ah," she says, and shades into the purple again.

What were you thinking I was suggesting? But I don't dare ask that, or she'll dump us in the water. I think about the dynamics of the sisters, their alienation from others and their loneliness. And the fact that yours truly is the only being in Equestria not scared senseless around them. Other than the nobles, and they get senseless as part of their standard package.

"What is our heading?" Little Blue asks.

"First star to the right, and straight on till morning," I reply.

"An incantation, understandable," Little Blue says, "This is a dream after all." She alters her course slightly and continues on.

"Lie with me," the shoggoth says.

Little Blue's ears swing up and back so fast I hear them hit the inside of the helmet.

"Excuse me?" I ask, as much for my sake as to quell Little Blue's pique.

She splashes me with a little water. "It is cold, she will need our warmth and us being lower, she will have an easier time not rolling."

It's a perfectly reasonable and logical explanation, but I know what lying across a mare's back implies, and I have a sneaking suspicion that my friend does too. Transitioning from in-line sitting to side-by-side lying creates some interesting postures and Little Blue notices. If this is a ploy to get her tail moving to propel us faster, it certainly works. She's lashing the water nearly into a foam. Once we're both down, my companion snuggles against me and falls asleep. With our bodies entwined, we ride out the bulk of the trip. I can hear Little Blue's grumbles, but not understand the details. Although I suspect them mostly have to do with us 'cheating' on her older sister in dreams, and her inability to prevent it.

It's her unwillingness to prevent it. She wants that history lesson, and I think she's also titillated by the way she's getting it. That and she realizes she is pretty much at our mercy, and we did not betray, much. And we were willing to put ourselves totally in her hooves on the trip. She could dump us in the cold water out of sight of land, and we'd be finished. So she's caught on the horns of several dilemmas, and her outrage is 'required' to balance her other feelings.

It also points out that she still feels subordinate to her sister rather than just loyal to her. Nobles regularly 'steal' each other's humans and have sex with them, returning them or letting them wander away full of the thieving noble's scent. It's a subtle cold war because they fear what a hot war would entail. While Celestia has followed the letter, she has violated the spirit in making certain I was willing, Pink had no objections, and I suspect Pink wants a friend, bodyguard and body servant, not a lover. Luna no doubt has feelings she is ashamed of: she has unlimited access to someone who makes her sister feel wonderful, and no chance that it would get back to the Great White, because it's only a dream. Curiosity and loneliness are not good additions to her already volatile mix of inexperience and need for approval. I suppose I could do worse than being found absolutely adorable by two ruling sisters. As long as I can keep a crush on a teacher from escalating out of control. She needs a guru/taskmaster to impress, not a lover, but lacks the wisdom to see that.

The turgid warmth of Little Blue and the firmer but nonetheless moldable warmth of the Lady of the Lake combine with the gentle rocking and soon has me slipping into sleep. Ironic, considering I am asleep.

The dream is an idyllic one. Childish play, with me, the Lady of the Lake, the Great White, Pink, Armor, and Little Blue enjoying a picnic in a meadow. Running around playing tag, eating together, taking a nap after too much good food, and enjoying each others company.

When it is over, we load the baskets into a motor home large enough to accommodate three alicorns and a unicorn and two humans.

Waking to the Lady of the Lake grinning at me and snuggled against me is quite welcome.

"Humans often have such dreams," she tells me, "They are also welcome to be included in."

"Dreams?" Little Blue asks, "We are within a dream even now, what dost thou take me for with such flittering about?"

"We just went to sleep and had a dream," I tell her.

"Yes, this one," she replies.

"No, one inside this one," I tell her, "And in that dream we slept, but I don't remember any dreams."

"Thou dreamt thou were asleep, possessed of a dream that thou fell asleep in?" Little Blue asks. The helmet muffles the tone, but I think she's both intrigued, and horrified.

"Basically," I tell her.

"We think you both mad," she replies and turns front and continues paddling, "Or We are."

"Why not all three?" the Lady of the Lake says.

Good she's warming to Luna.

"While you are an expert in Pony dreams, your ponies did something which stopped humans from dreaming long ago," the Lady of the Lake tells Little Blue, "If you did it on purpose, then you would be an expert in humans' dreams."

"We were unaware they even dreamt," Little Blue replies, "And We are sorry for thy loss."

"It was your loss as well," the Lady of the Lake says, a great deal sharper than she had before. "You went mad when your ponies ignored you. I felt your rage even here in the depth of the lake. And for what? That the ponies denied you what they had already denied the humans, their value. And you were angry at such people ignoring you? You should have reveled in that security."

Normally I don't step into cat-fights, but I'll make an exception. "Perhaps Luna was not feeling out of sorts because of ponies ignoring her," I offer, "Perhaps it was the effect of her not being able to reach out to or restore the humans. As I understand it, that was one of her points of friction with her sister."

"What breeding took away, We, I believed breeding would restore," Little Blue says, "It was not I who stripped the humans of what they were, I will admit, I do not know what did. But I had theories."

"Then wonder and theorize no more," the Lady of the Lake says and points, "We have arrived."

For someone with such a mild tone, she sounds thoroughly pissed. The water shoals up beneath Little Blue's hooves and we come ashore on an outcropping similar to where I had explored with the Lady of the Lake. The 'sky' above us is a mass of crystals, of all colors of the rainbow nearly as bright as daylight.

I head for the opening.

"What are we supposed to do?" Little Blue asks. Her royal pique was peeking through.

It makes me wonder if I should Peking duck.

She gestures at her distended bulk.

"This might work," I say and set the selector back to 'Luna'. Unfortunately, nothing happens. "Or, your royal dignity is going to take a major hit."

"Thou dost not mean," she says.

" 'Fraid so," I reply.

"We shall ever remember that thy dreamscapes are inhospitable," she says.

"Not inhospitable, just demeaning."

Little Blue turns her helmet, presumably to glare at us. Then she lifts her tail.

BUBROKABROKATRALLFAZZZZZZZZZZZ.

"The rainbows are breathtaking, the two full ones and the third branching the apexes of the lower two. You are quite the artist," I tell Little Blue, now back to her regular size.

"Thou hast no apprehension of the totality of Our loathing for thee at this juncture," she replies.

"I think the main event is about to start," I tell her as I slip through the gap in the rock and into the village.

I can tell that I underestimated the humans considerably. While the spoken 'word' is not well developed, they are trading, building fairly sophisticated ornaments of shell and crystals and gold. And they are also experienced boat builders. The vessels are able to be broken down and carried through the gap in the rocks.

The entire scene is not the paradise of the Garden of Eden, it looks like a downtown flea-market, in good and bad ways. But the people are fed, somewhat prosperous and happy. I feel like I am looking at Atlantis or Thera on the last day.

The end comes not from a volcano or tsunami, but a battalion of brightly-colored ponies. Parents are separated from prepubescent children, those too young are picked up with teeth by the arms or legs and dashed against the stone walls. Leaving only wailing parents and blood smears. The parents are driven by fire and spears to the water. Some manage to grab young children and boats. The few humans who try to fight find that stone fishing spears do little against metal, pony armor, and these ponies are veterans of the internecine war that claimed their homeland.

Little Blue whimpers at the sight, begging for it to stop. Then she looks at us, and shies. Not that either I or the Lady of the Lake are angry, worse, we accept that this display is typical of ponies and are untroubled by it. Our simple acceptance of this inhumanity hurts her worse than her own outrage. 'I hate you' can be responded to with hot fury. 'I don't expect any better of you' doesn't sting so much, but the poison goes deeper, and it also doesn't have an easy answer. It also highlights that a thousand years of 'progress' haven't really changed things. Sorry kid, I don't see any difference here, save that the humans had a more sophisticated culture. At least as advanced as the ponies, except in the crucial point of making war. That remains the area that I exceed even the ponies, despite having only a peripheral connection to it.

I don't rub it in that if the humans had been able to slaughter the ponies back, the humans' fate might have been averted. That it wasn't 'love and tolerance' that won their land and slaves, it was brutality and magic. Worse, the ponies are laughing at the ease of their victory and the humans' reaction to their cruelty.

The children are rounded up, the prepubescent from the pubescent. The castrating and spaying of the pubescent males and females begins. Little Blue tries to assault some of the phantoms, but this is no more than an image of what was. She screams at them in several dialects of the pony language I doubt anyone but she and her sister remember. The ponies' laughter is their only response to the anguished cries of the young, and of the horror of who would be their princess. I and the Lady of the Lake move out to observe what the pegasi who pursue the parents are up to. What we see is not something that would surprise anyone familiar with the fighting in Iwo Jima or later in the Pacific War.

The pegasi fly over the boat and drop liquid on them. Some gets in the humans' eyes and stings them. Little Blue has joined us to watch the bombing runs.

"What are they -?" she asks as the liquid-bearing pegasi clear the field.

The Lady knows, I can guess, and the Little Blue is horrified to realize what the second wave of torch-bearing pegasi are going to do. Every boat and most of the humans aboard them go up like a gunpowder trail. Some jump into the water, and learn the ponies true and magical cruelty.

"Water has a higher mass fraction of oxygen than air," I tell the two women, as the submerged humans turn into fireballs, "If you can separate the hydrogen from the oxygen, say by magic."

The hydrogen bubbles up out of the water and adds to the fire on the boats. And the laughter goes on. Laughing, happy ponies and stoic humans, same as you'd see on any street in Equestria. Little Blue stares at the last burning items as they slip into the water, to flare and be consumed.

Little Blue looks at the Lady of the Lake. She forces aside her horror at the scene. "I'm sorry."

"Unless you can undo this, your sorrow is your own and I want no part of it," the Lady of the Lake replies, "I want no restitution, no justice, no words from ponies. They took the humans, stripped the cavern of its crystal ceilings, and threw their worst into this place. There is naught you could offer me that would have any meeting. But you have your facts, little good will they do you." She gestures. "The way out is the path of the ponies. That is your escape, and there is nothing for you here any longer. We will abide a time, then you will take him away from me also. But I was here before the ponies, you will destroy yourselves, and I will raise the humans to where they once stood. Then I shall have my revenge, by erasing the injustice your ponies did to them, and that you and your sister turned a blind eye to. And no one will remember you."

Little Blue seemed to be working herself up into a righteous fury, but the quiet on the lake lets the screams of the herded children be clearly heard. And the laughter of the ponies.

She bows her head and walks away, following the massacre party out.

The Lady of the Lake looks at me once Little Blue and the cavern fade from sight. "You object?"

"Not really. She could have been an ally," I point out.

"She will not admit it, but she desired to monopolize dreams. Pony dreams are easy, and she could enter and mold them. Human dreams either run their course, or the human alone can shape them. This form, is of your choosing, and I thank you that you made me comely to you. When the human dreams died, in her heart she celebrated, for they always humiliated her. She did not want an ally, and I would not have her as one. Do not presume on their benevolence, it will be withdrawn as soon as it is either convenient, or maintaining it becomes difficult."

"Point taken," I say, "But I think I have an opportunity to adjust that. She is alone and believes that all are against her. She can be brought around far more easily now than when she felt powerful."

"I will leave that in your judgement. You have seen, and you can guess why I never revealed myself to the ponies," the Lady of the Lake explains.

"There are one or two who might surprise you," I tell her.

"Point taken," she says, then grins, "For you, I will try."

"Thank you."
------------------------------

I woke to darkness, the brilliant crystals of the human-era cave are gone, leaving only the rock. The guide has also covered me like a blanket and she seems to be in 'just a few minutes more ma' cuddle mode. It's amusing, but I wonder idly what all the trouble I've gotten us both into with last night's dream.

If Little Blue told anyone, even the Great White about the dream, there's going to be seven kinds of Hell to pay. It may be exactly why the Great White keeps the history of this place secret, and the historians from coming down here. After all, the ponies might not survive being forcibly reminded of their inhumanity to their fellow sapients. It would get everyone upset and healing that rift would require nothing less than a radical restructuring of pony thinking (admitting other nonequines are their equals). I don't see that happening without a much greater population of intelligent humans. But with the ponies breeding them more and more docile, and less and less clever, the odds of a throwback are on par with the odds of another intelligent human from Earth landing here. Read 'zero'.

It feels odd, giving up on the chance of finding other intelligent humans. Since I arrived on Equestria, I've gone from just trying to stay alive to excelling at a horrific task. Then to seeking a place to escape to. Then seeking others of my own kind. Now, admitting that there is no chance and that I am stuck here, alone, until I die. I don't feel despair at admitting it, but a hollow emptiness. Something important has gone out of my life and there's nothing there to replace it.

Maybe trying to reconcile Little Blue and the Lady of the Lake. Little Blue supposedly wanted to institute exactly the eugenics program to return intelligence to the humans. While it doesn't' make up for what the ponies initially did, they might have some success cooperating. After all, here the colony would have a protector and a place to hide. I do wonder what they did to get her out of the way when they attacked the human villages. Then I realize that the ponies probably hit all the targets at once. The Lady of the Lake is only one entity. She might have defeated one onslaught, but not two at the same time. Let alone one for each community.

We are soon heading out across the water. The Lady is taking me to the bridge rather than back to my cell. A good plan, I can claim I circumnavigated the island. I wave goodbye and start scaling. I'm about three-quarters of the way up when a pink blur yanks me off the cliff. Pink is so bewildered that she nearly crashes into the water while holding me. What we land on is considerably softer, and drier.

And it's time for a bit of diplomacy.

Pink's blubbering eases and she is still hanging onto me and deeply sobbing. Only I'm aware that we're being observed, and how confused our observer is.

"Percy," Pink says as she strains not to drop into incoherence, "I know you can talk, please, please, please explain. All of this. We don't understand." She tears up and hugs me more tightly. "We want to understand, want to make up for all ponies have done to you." She breaks the hug and leans back. "We love you."

I frankly don't know which of the three of us is more shocked. Me on hearing it, Pink for saying it, or the heartfelt admission by a pony to a human stunning the Lady. Pink relaxes to snuggle against me. "I love you. You've done nothing but good to me and the ponies around me. But you frighten me, I am frightened for you, because I don't understand you."

"Then look at this place. Imagine it with crystals veined through the ceiling lighting it to the brightness of a cloudy day."

"That's what Princess Luna told us about," Pink says, sniffling a little. "And some really disturbing things." She hides her grin at that, confirming that the slap on the flank had an 'uplifting' effect on the Lunar Diarch.

"The humans here, over a thousand years ago, had a thriving settlement. Trade, making ornaments, raising their families. They were advanced at least as far as the smaller village of Equestria. Then the ponies came and they ceased being intelligent. They ceased dreaming, they lost their homes, their culture and technology. A thousand-plus years of selective breeding and cullings, and you have the humans as they presently exist: less intelligent, barely sapient, stoic and living and dying at the whim of ponies who have less regard for them than they do dogs and cats. Her Highness got that all in one fell swoop. I'm not surprised she was shocked to her core."

"And you?" Pink asks.

"For me, it was last year, and the year before that. It was no different than the ponies I have known all my life, except the last little while, and then only a select few. The rest, such as that trio of guards, still regard me as something they can use without regard for my wishes, or the desires of my owners."

Pink looks at me with her head bowed. "And you hate us for it?"

"Me hating all the ponies who have wronged me is a waste of time. What really hurt Princess Luna was not that I was angry, but that neither I nor the Lady of the Lake expected any better of the ponies. If a dog saved my life, I'd get him a box of doggy treats, or at least play fetch with him for a while. But I got no acknowledgment from Twilight, not so much as a pat on the head. But I wasn't expecting one from her either."

Pink looks particularly sour about that reminder of her pupil's ingratitude, and my acceptance of it. Like Little Blue, she doesn't like the possibility that humans simply expect ponies to be uncivilized, unthinking and cruel towards them.

"Let's get you home," she says and notes that the patch of dry ground has moved to the shore under the bridge. "Oh," she says as we step on the collection of scree fallen from the cliff side.

"Thank you. I'll see you when I can," I tell the Lady of the Lake, who opens an eye over the entire area we were sitting on.

I think Pink carries both of us to bridge level and into the twisting stairway before she starts screaming in terror.

"I don't think much for your taste in friends either," I tell her as we race through the corridors.
------------------------------

The Grand Galloping Gala, oh dear merciful Lord in Heaven, if I never have to go through with that insanity again, it will be far too soon. I finally got a decent look at Twilight Sparkle, poor kid. She seemed so excited to be with the Great White, but in a receiving line? Set me on fire and poke me with a stick. That's torture for anybody. You can't really have a talk because you're too busy talking to the endless stream of high-ranking nobodies trooping before you. I don't know what the kid, kid ha, she's supposed to be a young adult, was thinking but even I know that's how a 'high-class' party is supposed to go.

I walked along the 'whisper galleries' these apparently ornamental fixtures high above the walk ways, where the head servants can observe and send maids, janitors or security to any problem. Most of the servants know me, so they don't have a problem with me moving along. Although they snicker a lot at me watching the Great White, Pink, and Armor as the evening progressed.

The pony I'm really trying to get a glimpse of is Little Blue. I haven't seen her since my imprisonment at the lake, and the rumors of what she saw in my dreams have run absolutely rampant. Brewing with the effect that place has on the guards as well makes a potent cocktail of denials, guesses and pony hysteria. It's a desperate attempt to explain the intended rape of Cadence's human by the staff who should have known whose special somepony the human Percy was. Anything to ignore the facts.

I travel through the galleries to my other target. Octavia is in the main hall with the string quartet. The dreams of a lifetime coming down to this one event. Her debut before the crustiest of the upper crust. She's immaculately coifed and made up, her dress is extremely understated, but her cello is doing the talking, not her fashion sense. I spot the Mighty Poof, he's heading there, to enjoy the music. I'd already planned to pry Little Blue out of her room, literally if it came to that, have her sit with the Mighty Poof and listen to Octavia. She's a thousand years out of date with music, but he knows enough that they'll at least be able to discuss it intelligently. Good for both of them. I have to fight hard to hide a grin.

Except, I hate it when there's an 'except', this gold digger latches onto the Mighty Poof the moment she laid eyes on her. I mean she talks with a Mid-Atlantic accent, nobody in real life talks with a Mid-Atlantic accent, it was invented in the Northeast and used by Hollywood in the 30's on to make their stars sound sophisticated. So, she's putting on airs. Her dress, to be fair, her dress is no worse than the rococo horror Twilight was wearing, but Twilight doesn't know any better. Pony fashion is so baroque it's broken. This dress looks like a 6-year-old sugar-fiend's idea of what a princess would wear. Odd, considering the real princesses are normally attired by efforts of a blacksmith/jeweler rather than a dress maker. It's easier to picture Pink, the Great White or Little Blue in full plate armor (appropriately jeweled, gilded and embossed) than in a dress.

The poor Mighty Poof does a polite attempt to get her to buzz off, but Mitsubitchy (yes, her cutie mark is three diamonds) can't get it through her head that he isn't interested, and he's far too polite to simply crown her a zero and be done with it. He tries to scrape her off on some other noble for a good ten minutes. So much for Little Blue's debut on the arm/foreleg of the Mighty Poof.

My contingency plan to get her out there to listen to the music alone falls flat when, where did they get these clothes? The pink maniac practically mauls the entire quartet, because, get this, they aren't partying like a six-year-old's birthday party. Lady Hornswoggle, I have to thank, she had the guts to tell that manic maniac 'it isn't that kind of party!' Bless you. Saves me the trouble of using a harpoon on the idiot. The servants are already plotting a quiet assassination, for all the work they put in to making this party work. And ponies call humans uncivilized savages. The humans wandering among the crowd as waiters or with their owners are better behaved than Candyland's Rorschach. Just clear the room for two seconds, I'll take care of it. Douse her with pure alcohol and the air friction will light it off.

With my plans for getting Little Blue out of her shell merrily burning at the hooves of Mitsubitchy and Candyland's Rorschach, I wonder about just escorting her through the gardens. Let her look in on the ponies having fun at night, her kind of quiet fun. When the universe just has to give me a big ole kick in the head as I climb down out of the galleries to the gardens themselves. There's a pony manning a concession stand right outside a fully-catered party. Where is the logic in that? If she's staff, she shouldn't be charging. If she isn't, she should wheel that out to where the reporters with the long-reach lenses are plastered against the fences trying to get a photo of who's talking with whom, and which ponies are dancing. Egad. She'd be doing a land office business. But less than 30 yards from the buffet, what were they thinking? Were they thinking?

I stifle an urge to beat my head on a wall or tree, especially with all the photogs with a clear line of sight on me. No human would think anything about this blatant insanity, much less be disturbed by it.

Okay, walk through the gardens, get my bearings, try to come up with a new plan. Maybe help out that concessionaire by moving her where she can get some sales, considering she isn't hurting anybody. That's it! Little Blue and I can move her out, let's everybody see 'Luna's a good sport, kind, thoughtful and clever'. Then I can lead her back to the main party so she can -

I'm. In. A. Net. I'm upside-down in a goddamned net. I'm in a goddamned net hanging upside-down from a tree! Okay universe, I was willing to let bygones be bygones, let you have a little fun at Percy's expense and make my victory a little hard and that much sweeter. Now, it's war. No more 'happy Percy', the Crimson Death has raised the black flag and is offering no quarter.

The yellow and pink pegasus wanders up and looks at me. Her dress, other than it's dirty from rolling around in the garden, is no less awful than most of the other troublemakers this evening. Is it the uniform for lunatics this season, or did they all escape from the same asylum?

"You aren't a squirrel or a little bird, you're a bad boy for setting off my trap," she says, and she glares at me. One of those glares you get from your mom after you put lipstick on the dog.

No sale. I hope you like your dress Peep, because they're gonna be burying you in it.

"WRRAWRARAHR!" I holler as I reach out with every intention of gouging that glare right out of Peep's head and ripping her limb from limb. I also tear the net apart while I'm thundering. There are stories about a pegasus so fast she can make a 'Sonic Rainbow' or some such. Now there might be two.

I stand there, under the net, getting my breathing under control and hating the entire universe in general. A buzzard lands in a tree a short distance away. Just wait bucko, there'll be carrion a plenty in just a few moments. I should feel a little guilty about scarring Peep for life, but there's being reasonable and accepting, and there's just being a punching bag. Beside, scarring her for life is only about five minutes, maybe ten at the outside, so it's okay. I follow the little bits of dress stuck to the bushes Peep screamed through. I half-expect Armor to show up with a contingent of guards and ask me if I've seen a terrifying monster out in the gardens. If they've got Peep with them, I'll point at her, let out a terrified shriek and go climb a drainpipe. Hilarious, and truly fitting revenge. I break through the trees on her trail and back onto the garden path.

The concession stand is gone. Odd, but hopefully she moved and is making a killing. Then I spot Little Blue. Finally, maybe things will start working out.

"I would have expected you to be staying near Cadence and Shining Armor," she chides me as Cadence and Armor arrive.

I smile at them and motion them forward. Then I peer into the main hall. I honestly don't know if God loves me or hates me as the scene unfolds. The Mighty Poof has still not shaken Mitsubitchy. She isn't a remora, she's a lamprey. Candyland's Rorschach tries to do a header onto a cake, and ends up sending it sailing through the air. Rather than diving out of the way, the Mighty Poof takes the opportunity to put Mitsubitchy right in the path. And Mitsubitchy is too much 'a lady' to dive out of the way on her own.

Now ponies use pies in combat against each other, so a cake that size should be either heavy artillery, or a light cruiser round. The gold digger sits there like a ditz awaiting rescue and just lets it hit her. Pink and Armor are horrified, I can barely keep from laughing.

Of course Mitsubitchy gives the Mighty Poof a piece of her mind, but he's having so hard a time not laughing at her I can feel for him.

Next, the universe decides to mess up everyone else's night. Some pegasus rams a Celestia statue into one of the pillars, which happens to fall against another pillar, and another, and another, and so forth. Before the entire roof can be fatally compromised and collapse, the Great White arrives. Peep explodes into the room screaming about monsters trying to love her, or something.

Little Blue, Pink and Armor are all staring at me, raised eyebrows seem to be the uniform of the moment. I'll let them wonder.

The general, panicking exodus from the room is in the Great White's direction. She stands out of the way and lets the others go as she surveys the general carnage.

"So, whence begins this 'fun' of which you were speaking?" Little Blue asks as she surveys the damage. Armor facehooves and Cadence just laughs nervously. Neither is enlightening to the Lunar Diarch.

The quartet retrieve their instruments before the room is closed due to the pillars. Cadence and Armor lead them and the other guests to the throne room to continue the party, or calm the ponies enough so they can leave without endangering themselves or others. I and every able body and unoccupied horn return to the site of the disaster. Well, Little Blue gets her debut, cleaning up a mess of monumental proportions. Not my plan, but it serves. I sigh as I set to work.

The rest of the night is spent putting the pillars back up, determining which sections are no longer sound, and generally cleaning up the mess. The Great White left, probably to spend some time laughing her flank off with Twilight at this disaster. Little Blue and a team of construction ponies and humans work through the night. I think she enjoyed it, the crews are grateful for a spell caster that powerful for the more delicate and difficult tasks. They need humans who can follow directions on the block and tackle or the push rods. That's how I spend my evening.

Well, Octavia wanted her debut to be memorable. No one is ever going to forget this gala, but I doubt anyone will remember her except as part of the group that calmed everypony down after the disaster. The disaster will be what's remembered. I wonder if the Great White knows who those trouble makers were. A nice quiet explanation, involving sharp knives, salt and electricity comes to mind. But I can wait.

It's almost dawn when I finally retire to my bed. Cadence and Armor likewise leave word that nothing short of the end of the world is to disturb their slumber. As an afterthought Cadence includes me in the proclamation. A bit tardy, but she is learning. She's learning how other ponies think about humans, and I don't think she likes it.