A Royal Pain

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Chapter 8: A Royal Craving

Twilight Sparkle wrinkled her nose as Prince Blueblood shook even more salt on his plate of pancakes. He pressed them flat with his fork before cutting a hunk of no longer fluffy cake from the mess on his plate.

“Is there anything wrong with your pancakes?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

“They’re fine. They’re just not what I want right now,” Blueblood replied.

“I could make something else if you want. What would you like?”

“Fish,” Blueblood blurted out. Twilight Sparkle inhaled sharply, pushing back from the table.

Twilight Sparkle collected herself and turned to Blueblood. “Sorry. I mean, I know intellectually that it’s just protein, and there’s nothing preventing our bodies from processing nutrients from animal flesh in the same ways as, say, eggs. It’s just that, I’ve never met a pony who wants to eat fish.”

“I have, I think. I assume this is a seapony taste?”

“Correct. Seaponies mostly eat fish and other creatures of the sea.”

“It was a stupid thing to ask for,” Blueblood said. “Nopony will have fish, anyway.”

“Actually, I know of one. My friend Fluttershy should have fish. She takes care of animals that eat fish, and so she normally has a supply.”

The name was familiar to Blueblood, but he couldn’t place her location on his mental map of Ponyville. “Where can I find her?” he asked.

“She lives in a cottage east of town, near the edge of the Everfree Forest.”

“Ah. Outside of the town boundaries.”

“I want you to do one thing for me, Blueblood. Be honest with Fluttershy about why you want fish,” Twilight Sparkle implored. “She is the Element of Kindness, so I know she won’t do something so unkind as share your condition with anypony. All I’m asking is that you show her the same kindness, and not make her worry about why you want to eat fish.”

Blueblood sighed. “As you wish.”

Cloaked in his illusion, Prince Blueblood trotted to Fluttershy’s cottage. The building was charming, blending function with natural form in a way that any number of vacation homes Blueblood had stayed in tried to imitate. While he kept his head turned in one direction, the babbling brook and bridges and garden painted a tranquil landscape. But in the other direction, the ominous Everfree Forest loomed. The light of Celestia’s sun seemed muted, and every sound suggested an unseen danger.

Blueblood could not figure out how a mare known for her kindness could survive here.

A knock on the door was soon answered by a light yellow pegasus. She opened only the top half of the door, and almost seemed to be hiding behind the rest of the door and her pink mane. “Hello?” she offered quietly.

“Ah, yes. Miss Fluttershy? I am Prince Blueblood. I am in need of assistance, and Princess Twilight Sparkle directed me to you.”

“Umm... what kind of assistance?” she asked.

“I need... fish,” he replied in a hushed tone. “There’s a reason for my request, but could I discuss it inside?”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. “Sure,” she replied hesitantly, opening the bottom half of the door.

Blueblood stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “I find myself with an intense craving to eat fish like a seapony. And that’s driven, I fear, by this.” He let the illusion fall from his body, revealing his obviously pregnant form.

Fluttershy stared at him, mouth agape. Time passed agonizingly slowly as he waited for her to recover. “Oh. Oh, my,” she finally whispered.

Then, something shifted in Fluttershy’s demeanor. “You must be feeling terribly alone. Here, let me help you,” she said. She trotted into her kitchen, and soon returned with a glass bowl in her mouth. She set it down on a table.

“My little otter friends are still waking up, so I have some extras now,” she said, smiling warmly.

“Thank you,” Blueblood replied as Fluttershy returned to the kitchen.

Blueblood stared at the dead fish floating in the water of the bowl. The fish were whole, with lidless eyes staring at him. The smell was vaguely like the ocean, only more concentrated. Part of him wanted to turn away in disgust. The other part pulled him closer.

“Um, I’m not sure how to prepare fish,” Fluttershy said from the kitchen. “My griffin friends mentioned frying them.” She returned to the living room, frying pan in her mouth, only to see Blueblood with a wet muzzle and half a fish sticking out of his mouth.

Fluttershy dropped the frying pan. “Or you could eat them like that.”

The tail of the fish fell out of Blueblood’s mouth, severed from its body by his own teeth. He didn’t even recall chewing or swallowing, but the rest of the fish was gone. Its taste, utterly foreign yet strangely alluring, lingered in his mouth. A drop of blood dripped from his lip, landing in the bowl below.

“I’m a monster,” he whispered. “A terrible, hideous monster.”

Blueblood squeezed his eyes shut with a hope that he would not see what he did. But he still pictured the fish tail in his mind. Worse, some part of him was telling him to finish the meal. He hoped those weren’t tears he was feeling welling in his eyes.

He felt a light touch along his back, the warm and feathery embrace of a wing. Something brushed his muzzle. He opened his eyes to see Fluttershy gently cleaning the remains of his meal from his mouth with a tissue.

“Don’t you ever say you’re hideous,” Fluttershy said kindly. “You are bringing new life into this world, and nothing is more beautiful.”

Blueblood looked in Fluttershy’s eyes. Even with her gentle tone, there was a firmness in her words, a command to listen that resounded even clearer when he saw her eyes.

“Now, you have a little one that’s very hungry,” Fluttershy said. “I’ll leave you alone, and when you’re ready to see me again, just call.”

Again, Blueblood found himself alone with his fish. This time, he recalled Fluttershy’s encouragement. Twilight Sparkle said there was nothing biologically wrong, but Fluttershy said there was nothing wrong at all.

The fish quickly disappeared down Blueblood’s throat.

He was eating for two, after all.

Fluttershy returned after he ate. “I know cravings can be unpredictable, Prince Blueblood. You can come back any time, but I might not always have fish to spare,” she said.

Blueblood nodded. “Where do you get the fish from? Do you fish?” he asked.

“Oh, no, not normally. I don’t enjoy fishing,” she replied. “There are a few stallions in town who fish as a hobby, and I buy their catch for my animal friends. Magnum, Golden Grain, and Noteworthy, mostly.”

“That’s... unusual,” Blueblood said. “But it’s good to know so many ponies are spending their time helping you out.”

“Yes. The ponies of Ponyville are so kind.”

Blueblood recast his illusion spell. “Thank you again for your kind assistance, Fluttershy. Until next time.”

“Please, feel free to visit whenever you’re feeling troubled.”

Prince Blueblood had a feeling he’d be craving fish until his seapony foal was born. He didn’t relish the prospect of being driven mad by some craving he couldn’t sate. He suddenly had the image of himself, swimming in one of the ponds around town, and diving under the surface to try to catch a fish in his mouth.

He wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that that was how seaponies fed. Celestia knows how often he’d had strange instinctual reactions caused by the foal’s magic.

Avoiding further embarrassment required Fluttershy to have enough fish for him and her animals. So he decided he would fish. How hard could it be? At least Blueblood could learn from a stallion he got along with.

He walked to the Golden farm on the outskirts of Ponyville. Even though only weeks had passed since Winter Wrap-Up, the fields were already thriving, promising a bountiful crop. Unsurprisingly, given its owners, the Golden farm had extensive fields of grain and carrots; both were being tended to at that moment.

“Hey there, Prince Blueblood!” Golden Harvest called, waving at him with her hoe. “Looking for some more vodka?”

“Not right now, though I’m happy to say my good friends heartily approve of your brew,” Blueblood replied. “I’m actually here to talk to your husband.”

“Oh?” Golden Grain said as he trotted up.

“Yes. I spoke earlier to Fluttershy, and learned she was running low on fish. I thought I might help her out. Could I join you the next time you go fishing?”

“I think that’d be great!” Golden Grain said. “How about tomorrow afternoon, around 4:00? According to the weather schedule, it’s perfect fishing weather.”

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

The next afternoon, Prince Blueblood met Golden Grain at the edge of the large lake that marked the northern border of their farm. Celestia’s sun was a brilliant gold, having just begun to pick up a hint of orange, and reflected beautifully off the still surface of the lake. A simple pier and shack had been erected at the lake’s edge. Golden Grain was already there, busily moving equipment into a two-pony rowboat.

“A good evening to you, Golden Grain,” Blueblood said.

“Likewise. You ready to go?”

Blueblood nodded. Golden Grain stepped into the boat. Blueblood followed, causing the boat to tip precipitously.

“You’re heavier than you look,” Golden Grain commented.

“I am not some lightweight! I pride myself on my physical fitness!” Blueblood countered. Of course, that wasn’t the real reason; the illusion covering his form didn’t change his weight. Fortunately, Golden Grain accepted his explanation.

The earth pony stallion gripped the handles of the oars in his pasterns, and his powerful forelegs turned them and propelled the rowboat across the water. He headed to the opposite shore, to a partially shaded area. “This place is perfect in the evening,” Golden Grain said. “Now, fishing isn’t hard. Just watch what I do.”

Golden Grain stuck his muzzle into a small tub of earth, and came out with a worm in his lips. He stuck it on the hook of his fishing pole.

“I’m glad I didn’t just eat,” Blueblood said, disgusted.

Golden Grain laughed. “When you’re a colt growing up and playing on a farm, you get a lot worse in your mouth. Trust me.”

Blueblood shrugged and used his magic to bait his hook. “How in Equestria do you collect worms?” he asked.

“Just find a nice patch of soft earth, push your hoof in, and twist it around. The vibrations attract the worms to the surface, and then you pluck as many as you want.” Blueblood then watched as Golden Grain’s gaze traced upward. “I bet it’d work even better with a horn.”

“Yeah. Not going to happen.” He stared at his hook. “Now what?”

“Now you cast the line, sending the hook and bait into the water.” Golden Grain took the pole in his mouth. He twisted his head so that the line was behind him, and quickly reversed the maneuver, sending the line out towards shore.

“That doesn’t look hard,” Blueblood said. He picked up his pole and imitated Golden Grain. But he didn’t see the hook sail out. Rather, he felt a sharp pain near his dock, and he yelped. The fishing pole clattered as it landed in the bottom of the boat.

“Don’t worry. It happens to everypony,” Golden Grain said. “Now stay still.”

Blueblood hissed as Golden Grain removed the hook from his coat. He nodded and picked up the pole again, but stopped before casting. “Where did the worm go?”

Golden Grain looked, and laughed again. “You’ve got a worm in your tail.”

“Get it out get it out get it out!” Blueblood screamed as he flicked his tail furiously.

Golden Grain recovered the worm and baited Blueblood’s hook. Not even holding a worm between his lips removed the huge grin from his face.

“Pretend you didn’t see that,” Blueblood said.

“Not a chance,” he replied. “Now, if your magic’s good enough, you could try using it to cast the line.

“I think I’ll do that.” The line played out slowly, and finally the hook was lowered into the water. “Now what?”

“We wait for a bite.”

All was still. Golden Grain seemed content to wait quietly; he calmly watched the water. But the silence got to Blueblood. He had to talk about something.

“Did you grow up in Ponyville?” Blueblood asked Golden Grain.

“Me? Nah. I’m from Dodge Junction. Came to Ponyville when I got hitched.”

Another awkward silence filled the boat. “So, uh, how did you meet Golden Harvest?” Blueblood continued.

“Our two families go way back. It was one of those things. Dad said, ‘You’d like this mare,’ and then we met. We did. And when I saw her bend over to pick some carrots? Best sight in Ponyville by far.”

“Mm-hmm,” Blueblood muttered noncommittally. While he agreed with Golden Grain’s statement completely, actually expressing that agreement, in the middle of a lake with no witnesses around, didn’t strike Blueblood as a very good idea.

“How about you? Is there a Mrs. Blueblood?”

“Please,” Blueblood scoffed. “If I were to marry, everypony in Equestria would know.”

“Don’t care much for that kind of gossip. Any prospects?” Golden Grain asked.

“No. I probably have a few years before I’ll be expected to settle down.”

Golden Grain assessed the prince. “You don’t look too thrilled about the idea.”

“I don’t think anypony would care if I like the mare.”

“That’s rough,” Golden Grain said. “There’s nothing better than coming home to a family you love. It’s been ten happy years for me.”

“Ten?” Neither of the Goldens looked that old. “Congratulations, then.” Silence again descended on the boat while Blueblood thought about something else to ask.

That idea came when, with a kick, his foal made his presence known. “Any foals?” Blueblood asked.

“Not yet.” Again, it was silent, but Golden Grain was pointedly looking away.

Before things could get too awkward, Blueblood saw the sinker on his line twitch. “I think I have a bite!” he shouted.

Golden Grain perked up. “Good! Now get a firm grip on your pole and slowly reel it in.”

Blueblood found the fish to be surprisingly strong; it pulled and fought his attempt to reel it in. He pulled back as his magic worked the reel.

“Don’t overdo it! You could snap the line or worse, you could....”

At that moment, Blueblood experienced the worse. With another tug, he lost his balance and tumbled over the edge of the boat.

Blueblood spat out water and pushed his wet mane away from his eyes with one hoof as another held onto the boat. It took a while for Golden Grain to reach out to help him back on the boat.

“Great news! I got the fish!” he said.

“Yes. That was clearly the most important task at hoof,” Blueblood deadpanned.

“Obviously!”

Prince Blueblood needed a long shower. The smell of the lake still clung to him, not to mention the lingering odor of fish. He itched where he was bitten by the annoying bugs that flitted around the surface of the water. But he had four fish to show for his evening’s work.

“Pretty good for your first time,” Golden Grain said. “You up to try again later?”

“I think I would like to fish again. But is that what you want?”

“Huh?”

“Are you sure you don’t prefer to fish by yourself?” Blueblood asked.

“No, it was fun. I like the company, even if I don’t have much to say. Now, if I want company and quiet at the same time, I’ll just invite Big McIntosh.”

“Okay. Well, you can find me at the library when you’re ready to fish again.”

Golden Grain slapped Blueblood on the back. “Will do!”

Blueblood helped Golden Grain return the equipment to the shack and departed, his catch in a pail floating beside him. As evening fell and the sky darkened, he made the journey back to Fluttershy’s cottage.

Fluttershy responded to his knock with wariness, only cracking open her door a sliver. But when she saw it was him, she opened the door and welcomed him in.

“Good evening, Miss Fluttershy. Golden Grain taught me to fish, and it was a very successful evening. So I have a gift for your otter friends.”

Fluttershy smiled and looked in the pail. “Oh, wonderful! You caught three fish!”

Blueblood stifled a belch. “Yes, that’s right. Three fish.”

Author's Notes:

My original plan was to have some clop in this chapter, but it didn't fit the way I was writing Prince Blueblood.

There will either be one or two more chapters, depending on how long the part before the royal birth goes, and then an epilogue.