A Royal Pain

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

Further disclaimer: Contains clop. For mature audiences only. All characters, although fictional, are intended to portray consenting adults.

Chapter 1: A Royal Surprise

Across the ballroom, ponies dressed in formal gowns and tuxedos mingled. The band was still setting up, allowing all those who arrived fashionably early to converse. Old friends and acquaintances shared greetings and gossip.

On the balcony overseeing the ballroom floor, Prince Blueblood stood, watching the crowd with mild interest. Truth be told, this ball, hosted by one of Canterlot’s minor barons, was nothing special. Approximately twice a week, some ball, formal, or soiree was held somewhere in Canterlot, allowing the nobles to trade favors or jockey for standing.

Being supremely confident in his standing, Blueblood did not need to worry about such trivialities. Instead, he shared a small table with two of his good friends as he waited for the dance to begin. On his right stood the pegasus Lightning Shield, son of the former Captain of the Guard, youngest lieutenant in the Royal Guard, and heir to some title in Cloudsdale that was important to the pegasi. On his left was Full Sail, an earth pony who was a star athlete and heir to a shipping fortune in Baltimare. They had met in the various boarding schools and sporting clubs common to prominent families in Equestria, and found friendship in their shared passions. And since neither had noble aspirations that could challenge his own station, Blueblood could maintain an honest friendship with them.

Together, the three stallions talked about a particular one of their shared passions.

“A bit scarce pickings today, don’t you think?” Lightning Shield observed.

“Yes, the crowd does appear to skew old,” Blueblood noted.

“I do believe I spot Rose Greenfield,” Full Sail said.

The other two looked, noticing the earth pony mare, the daughter and heir of the duchess of Omahay. She looked radiant in a gown with a faint floral theme, a gown that highlighted her taut flanks.

“Mmm. I’d like to plow her field,” Lightning Shield said.

“I already have,” Full Sail said, nonchalantly examining his champagne flute.

“I’ve plowed both her fields, if you catch my drift,” Blueblood boasted.

“Look over there,” Full Sail said. The three ponies spotted an indigo-coated thestral, wearing a violet gown that accented her batlike wings.

Blueblood caught a glimpse of the thestral’s fangs. “I wonder if she sucks blood?” he asked.

“Oh, I know Midnight Haze,” Lightning Shield said. “I don’t know about blood, but she does suck. And swallow.”

“You going to talk to her?” Full Sail asked.

“Maybe,” Lightning Shield replied. “I might look for somepony different.”

They watched the crowd in silence for a while longer, slowly sipping their champagne. On another scan of the crowd, Blueblood did a double take. “Hello, who’s that?” he said.

All eyes focused on the newcomer, a unicorn mare in a glittering green sequined gown. She moved in a strange though graceful manner through the crowd, her hips swinging just so. But what really caught Blueblood’s eye was her blue and green mane. Commonly, ponies had distinct stripes or patterns to their manes. But for this mare, the blue and green mingled. With each turn of her head, the light of the chandelier caught her mane in a new way, making it look like a completely different color.

“She’s new to me,” Full Sail said.

“Me as well,” Lightning Shield noted.

“You have good taste,” Full Sail said. “You calling dibs?”

“I shall,” Blueblood responded. “I do believe I have found the mare worthy of being taken home by me.”

Blueblood sauntered down to the dance floor as the band began its first musical number. He assessed the ponies who remained on the sideline, looking to see who arrived unaccompanied. There would be time to dance with the mysterious pony. For now, he selected an older mare, offering her a dance.

Blueblood saw these dances as an obligation, one of his duties as prince. There was no romance, no passion, just an expression of respect for another prominent pony. Some were widowed, others chose to spend time away from their stultifying marriages. What he got from these dances was good will, something most important to his house.

And sometimes, these ponies arranged a date with a daughter or niece, yielding a more appreciated reward later.

Blueblood shared the dance floor with five mares, never for more than one dance, always excusing himself to allow them to return to their own crowd. After that final obligation dance, he sought out his target for the night. Fortunately, she was alone. He headed over to her, planning a path that would make their meeting appear to be one of chance.

“Good evening, madam,” Blueblood said. “I am Prince Blueblood. May I have the pleasure of your acquaintance?”

“Melodia Starsea. Charmed,” she replied, lifting a hoof.

A traditionalist, Blueblood thought. He took the proffered hoof, kissing it. “Would you care for a drink, Miss Starsea?”

“Another glass of that delightful champagne. And please, call me Melodia.”

Blueblood smiled as he sought out a waiter, picking up two glasses. If she was ready to be on a first name basis, that boded well for the evening.

“Here you go, Melodia,” Blueblood said, separating the two glasses in his magical aura. She reached out and took hold of one.

“Have you been in Canterlot long?” Blueblood asked.

“Only a matter of days,” she replied. “My father was recently named ambassador, and I came with him to handle the normal hostess duties. And to keep him out of trouble,” she added, smiling.

Prince Blueblood smiled again. This new mare was everything he liked in a short term fling. A bit of romance, a lot of fun, and then “royal duties” could excuse him until she rotated out of Canterlot. He finished his champagne, noting the progress of the music. The current piece was about to finish. “Would you care to dance?” he offered.

“I would be delighted to.” Melodia let Blueblood lead her to the dance floor, where she placed her hooves in position. As the band performed a slow waltz, they danced. Poorly. Blueblood grimaced internally at each missed step, at each time her hoof landed on his own. He had met some pretty poor dancers in his time, but she was like somepony having her first dance lesson. But to be fair, she could be from some country without Equestria’s dance traditions. And to be honest, her dance skills were not what he was most interested in.

Blueblood kept a smile on his face as he endured several dances with the new arrival. When the band took a break, Melodia addressed him. “I apologize for not being an experienced dancer,” she said.

“No need to apologize, my dear Melodia. It is the company that makes the dance memorable, after all,” he replied.

“Then perhaps we can share our company in a more private location,” she suggested.

“Would you care to retire to my estate?” Blueblood offered.

Melodia smiled seductively. “I can think of nothing better.”

The senior butler of the Blueblood estate greeted the prince as he returned home with his guest. “And a good evening to you, Sterling,” Prince Blueblood said in return. “Please send a bottle of the Chateau Cheval Cabernet to the upstairs sitting room.”

“As you wish, your highness,” the butler replied.

Prince Blueblood walked slowly up the broad staircase of his family mansion. While a few unicorn mares would appreciate the slower pace when forced to walk, it was more done to show off the grandeur of the estate and the family wealth displayed in artwork, artifacts, and precious metals. Blueblood remained silent as his date took in the sights. It gave him time to reflect on how often this scene had played out in the past, most often with a different mare than the previous time. The staff were well trained and well paid to keep quiet about the young prince’s visitors.

By the time the two ponies made it upstairs, the staff had already set out the requested bottle of wine, along with two glasses. “Would you care to sit and enjoy a glass of wine?” Blueblood asked Melodia.

“That sounds lovely,” she replied.

They sat at opposite ends of one couch, an appropriate distance apart according to standards of etiquette, but suited to move closer if they desired. Blueblood filled both wine glasses. “Cheers,” he said, as they clinked their glasses together.

What then proceeded was very familiar to Prince Blueblood. He engaged in small talk, mostly focusing on Melodia’s experiences as a new visitor to Canterlot. Years in court and among the nobility allowed him to keep up a conversation like this as he focused his efforts on watching her reactions. He topped off her wine glass as she drank. That step often helped in improving a date’s reactions. But Melodia already seemed very interested in him, an attraction that became more obvious as the level of wine in the bottle fell and the distance between them on the couch shrank.

Finally, when the last of the wine was consumed, Prince Blueblood leaned in for a kiss. Melodia responded passionately, her tongue parting his lips. He responded in kind, their tongues battling until both ponies were forced to come up for air. Melodia gasped.

“My dear, would you do me the honor of staying the night?” Blueblood asked. Melodia responded with another kiss.

Blueblood reached out with his magic, opening one of the doors from the sitting room, the one leading to his bedroom. They walked slowly to the bedroom, steps constantly interrupted by kisses, nips, and nuzzles. Once inside, he closed the door and dove in for another long kiss. With tongues locked and his eyes closed, Blueblood felt with his magic, finding the fasteners of Melodia’s dress. Much experience in the matter had made him quite good at dealing with mares’ clothes. Slowly, one by one, the buttons on her dress came undone. Melodia nodded her head as they kissed, a tacit sign of her consent.

As soon as Blueblood slipped Melodia’s dress from off her, he felt magic tug at his jacket. Buttons came unfastened and the jacket’s fabric was pulled away from him. Slowly, more of his pristine white coat was revealed to his date. He opened his eyes and saw her appreciating the sight. She placed her hoof on his barrel, feeling for the final buttons. Soon, he too was unclothed.

Blueblood unfastened his horseshoes, and saw Melodia do the same. When she finished, she walked past him, the tip of her tail brushing his muzzle. He gazed at the gentle arc of her lifted tail, following it to the treasure revealed underneath. Wordlessly, she jumped on the bed, presenting herself.

Blueblood pushed his muzzle under Melodia’s tail, inhaling the scent of her arousal. He caressed the edges of her nether lips with a steady stroke of his tongue, finding her already wet. She winked as he pulled his tongue away. Melodia took a few steps forward, clearing up room for Blueblood. Her head was turned and she was looking at him, her face with an expression that said, “What are you waiting for?”

Prince Blueblood certainly wasn’t waiting on himself. His shaft was rock hard, begging to be used. He followed Melodia onto the bed, and then reared, placing his forehooves on her barrel. He lined up his shaft with her entrance. With a thrust, he sank into her dripping cunt. She was unbelievably tight, almost virginal in nature, though the lack of a hymen indicated she probably wasn’t. Blueblood reveled in his good fortune to find a mare who was tight as a virgin with the lust of an easy mare.

Blueblood built up a steady rhythm. When he felt Melodia was fully used to his thick shaft being in her, he withdrew until almost all the way out, and then slammed back inside her. She squealed in delight. He smiled and repeated the process, picking up the pace until he was slamming into her every few seconds.

He gripped further down her barrel and leaned down, kissing and nipping at her neck. She gasped and craned her neck, trying to reach his mouth. He smiled and lightly brushed her muzzle with his lips. They played a seductive game as he continued to thrust, she trying to meet his lips while he peppered her with light kisses and gentle touches of their horns. Finally, he “lost” the game, bringing his lips close to hers. She pounced, their lips interlocking, her tongue forcing its way into his mouth. As they kissed, he felt her inner walls tighten and contract. He strained to push against the force of her orgasm, she so desperate to hold him in and milk his cock.

But Blueblood would not give in so easily. Her steaming juices dripped down his shaft, trickling onto his balls and the bed below. She screamed. Still he pushed until she came down, though her pussy still felt delightfully warm. She continued to gasp and breathe heavily as he worked her over. He returned to her neck and withers, nipping and biting all over. He felt the pressure build in his balls. With one last nip, he thrust in as deep as he could. His sticky seed surged up his shaft and shot after shot filled her.

Melodia screamed again. Suddenly, her inner walls spasmed again. This time, Blueblood let himself remain trapped, enjoying the pulsing feeling of her pussy working over his cock. When he finally dismounted, both Blueblood and Melodia were breathing heavily. The only sounds were their panting and the soft rustling of the curtains in the gentle breeze of a summer night.

Melodia wasted no time as she turned and kissed him, passionately but far too briefly. But then he smiled as she crawled under his legs. He felt her tongue caress his softened shaft. She savored his musk and her own salty tang. With only a brief ministration, Blueblood was hard and ready to go again.

“Are you ready for round two?” Melodia asked.

“I am ready for as many rounds as you wish, milady,” Blueblood replied.

“Then you’ll need to catch me first!” she announced. She jumped out the bed and opened the doors to the balcony. “You’ll find me at the pond. Don’t keep me waiting.”

Blueblood, shocked, watched Melodia step onto the balcony and climb down the stairs to the garden below. He shook his head and chased after her. As he stepped outside, totally nude, in pursuit of a totally nude mare, he was again glad his servants would not talk.

Prince Blueblood gave chase, the musical sound of her laughter the only sign that he was close by. He knew where the pond on his property was, and he was going in that general direction. As he got closer, he caught glimpses of Melodia before she darted off. It was clear that this wasn’t a true race, but a pursuit he would eventually win. The thought of grabbing her again turned him on. With each step, his rock hard cock slapped against his barrel.

Blueblood broke out of a copse of trees and stood at the edge of the pond. Melodia winked and smiled, and dove in. He blinked when he glimpsed a large fish, uncertain if his eyes were playing tricks on him under Luna’s full moon. But then Melodia surfaced again, floating on her back, revealing herself in all her glory. Where her hind legs were, she now had the body and tail of a large fish.

No wonder she was a bad dancer. For some reason, that was the first thought that went through Blueblood’s mind as he stared at Melodia’s exotic seapony form.

“Do you like what you see?” Melodia asked.

“Very much, my dear. Though it comes as a surprise.”

“It wouldn’t have been a surprise if you had asked where I came from.”

“Indeed,” he admitted. Almost everypony he knew was from Canterlot, so it wasn’t a question he was used to asking. “That is some impressive magic.”

“The ability to take landpony form for a short time is actually an inherent gift of all seaponies, but only we narwhal seaponies can maintain the magic for lengthy periods of time,” Melodia explained. “But it feels good to get back to my proper form.”

“And I am quite happy to have seen it,” Blueblood said. He traced every detail of her form with his eyes. He particularly focused on the slit on her lower body, which started at the point where her pony torso met her silvery fish tail, and extended down. He licked his lips slightly.

“Forget see. I want you to experience it. You let me fuck like a landpony, so it’s only fair that I let you see how we seaponies screw. Now lean down.”

Blueblood was rather enjoying her eagerness and dirty language. He lowered his head. Melodia stood up, so to speak, balancing on her fish tail and lifting her pony half out of the water. She reached out and wrapped her forelegs around his neck. Bringing their mouths together, Blueblood expected another kiss, but instead Melodia breathed into his mouth. He felt the familiar tingle of magic.

“That will let you breathe water for a few hours. Now try to keep up.” Melodia fell back into the water, twisted, and disappeared beneath the waves.

While not the most athletic of ponies, Blueblood was an experienced swimmer, though he always used the pool in his mansion, built to Equestria Games standards. He dove in and swam. He discovered a side effect of Melodia’s magic was vastly improved vision underwater. Features shone in blues, greens, and violets he had never seen before. And the most beautiful sight was Melodia herself. Each individual hair of her mane glowed a shimmering green and blue, and a gentle violet glow covered her body, solid on her pony half, sparkling on her tail.

With a solid kick, Blueblood began his pursuit. He swam around rocks and water plants he had never seen before. The pond wasn’t that large, so it wasn’t hard to draw near Melodia. As before, she was clearly letting him catch her.

As soon as Melodia was in reach, she hooked one foreleg around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. The other stroked his shaft; she found its hardness to her satisfaction. He looked over her body. Sex seapony style was his least favorite position, but with an actual seapony, he’d gladly make an exception. Blueblood reached his legs around Melodia, a move made awkward by their continued swimming and the water. It took multiple tries, with his cock bouncing off her tail or just rubbing her slit, before he felt the tip enter her.

Blueblood wrapped his hind legs around Melodia’s tail and thrust in her. She responded with a kick of her tail, the muscular appendage easily slipping out of his grasp, and causing him to slip most of the way out of her. The feeling of the muscles in her tail working, flexing, as he slipped out of her sent waves of pleasure through Blueblood, and he almost came right there. He was determined to enjoy that feeling again. And again.

Blueblood kicked again, sliding into her, and Melodia’s tail pushed, pulling him out. They kept that rhythm as their mouths locked again. As they fucked, Blueblood came to appreciate Melodia’s talents. She was in control of their combined movement. Her one foreleg held him close, so that he never withdrew from her completely, while her tail and free foreleg directed them safely around the pond. They twisted and turned as they swam. At times, Melodia was above him, something he was only sure about because he saw Luna’s moon through the surface of the water above. Other times, he wasn’t sure of his orientation, but he saw the seapony framed by glowing plants, rocks, or fish.

Melodia’s ministrations continued to drive Blueblood wild. He willed himself not to come, but the grip of Melodia’s tail muscles was insistent. Not even the strongest of minds could restrain those feelings. He felt Melodia’s strokes become shorter and more erratic. He redoubled his efforts, thrusting with renewed vigor, his tongue fighting hers, his forehooves stroking her back. He noticed her shudder as he rubbed the point where her scales met her coat. Once he focused his attention on that point, he felt her cunt grip his cock like a vise. That was too much for him, as Blueblood filled her again.

Melodia rubbed the base of her horn against his. Potent magic connected the two of them, heightening Blueblood’s orgasm. For what seemed like hours, he experienced the purest of joys. It radiated from his cock and spread, washing over his entire body. It was such an intense feeling that he didn’t notice a narrow tube extend from Melodia’s slit and pierce his belly, and the magic at work there blended in with what he was already experiencing.

Finally, the feelings of their mutual orgasm subsided. Melodia half-dragged Blueblood back to shore. Once both their heads were out of water, he could hear how heavy they were breathing. “Another round, my dear?” he asked between pants.

Melodia kissed him gently on the lips. “I’m afraid I have a father I don’t want to worry any more than I already have. But if our paths cross again, I’ll be ready for another romp, on land or sea.”

The seapony pulled herself completely out of the pond, dragging her tail across the grass. She shook it dry, and then her horn flared. Magic traced over her form, and before Blueblood’s eyes, her tail separated and reshaped into legs.

The two ponies nuzzled as they returned to Blueblood’s bedroom. She dressed, and he helped adjust her dress, making it appear that she had just left something no more strenuous than a ball. It wasn’t a step he always took, but she deserved a little reward for showing him a night unlike any other.

Prince Blueblood didn’t see Melodia again across various balls and social gatherings, but he bragged about his conquest to Full Sail and Lightning Shield for weeks. Their own ball conquests were decidedly more mundane. And so life continued on, as these three young stallions sought casual flings and short term relationships.

Three months later, Blueblood found himself in one of his least favorite places. He was in the examination room of Equestria’s finest doctor, naked, shivering on a cold paper-covered examination table. He endured this indignity for minutes before Doctor Well Heart entered the room.

“I don’t see you much except for your annual physical, Prince Blueblood,” the unicorn doctor observed. “What seems to be the problem today?”

“It’s terrible, doctor,” Blueblood said. “For a few weeks, I have been feeling sick in the morning, with nausea and sometimes even vomiting. It passes in time, but I am a prince, and cannot afford to be at less than 100 percent at any time.”

Doctor Well Heart nodded solemnly. It took all his training to not laugh when he heard Blueblood’s symptoms. He knew exactly what that sounded like, symptoms for a condition that stallions never had. However, he was extensively trained in medicine for creatures beyond the three common pony types, and was often called upon when a foreign dignitary was ill. This training told him that it was not impossible for that condition to be responsible for Blueblood’s symptoms.

“I would normally suggest it’s just stress or nerves, but don’t worry, Prince Blueblood. I will do a complete medical examination,” Well Heart said.

The doctor concentrated, and a pale yellow aura enveloped his horn and spread over Prince Blueblood. It slowed as it extended over his abdomen. The doctor’s eyes opened wide. He repeated the scan a second time. At this moment, his training failed him, and he broke out in a huge smile.

“Congratulations, Prince Blueblood. You’re pregnant.”

Blueblood’s jaw dropped. He shook his head, and forced an expression of calm to his face. “My dear doctor, this is no time for levity. I could be seriously ill!”

“Although it would appear to be a joke, I am completely serious,” the doctor replied. “You are carrying a foal, and are about three months along. I’m sure you learned in your schooling how seapony stallions carry the foal to term.”

“But I am clearly not a seapony,” Blueblood retorted.

“True, but seapony magic will grant this ability to any of the other pony races. Relationships between seaponies and other ponies are quite rare, but these shared pregnancies have been well-documented,” Well Heart explained. “And since your foal is half seapony, I can surmise what happened. I am somewhat surprised, though. I wouldn’t expect this connection to form after a single encounter.”

“A single encounter?” Blueblood scoffed. “My virility is beyond question.”

“And your current situation is beyond question as well.” The doctor levitated over a pamphlet. “Now here’s some reading for you, What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Certainly, not all of it will apply in your case, but it’s the best I can do.”

Prince Blueblood stared silently at the offered pamphlet for a minute. Then he crumpled it up, stuffed the wad of paper into the pocket of his jacket, and dashed behind the curtain to don his clothes.

“Auntie! I have terrible news!”

Prince Blueblood was sitting in Princess Celestia’s chambers, sharing afternoon tea. Normally, such visits were a mere formality, but today’s meeting allowed him to explain the terrible tragedy that had befallen him. As he described his diagnosis, Celestia sipped her tea and watched with an enigmatic smile, one carefully shaped by being witness to the experiences of countless lifetimes.

The solar princess set down her tea. “That is wonderful news, Blueblood. I will contact your cousin Cadance and ask her to plan the shower.”

Prince Blueblood spat out a mouthful of tea. “How can you say that? This is a disaster! Can’t you do something?”

“My dear Blueblood, what is allowing you to experience the miracle of birth is life magic in its purest form,” Celestia said. “Your two lives are now intertwined, and any attempt to harm your child would be fought by you exactly as if your own life were in danger. To kill you both is no solution.” She took another sip of tea before continuing. “Besides, I am certain your parents and tutors taught you that pregnancy is a potential consequence of intimate relations. It is a lesson learned by more than a few mares you have known, if my ears in court are correct.”

“But it’s not supposed to happen to me!” Blueblood whined.

Princess Celestia shook her head. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to talk to the headmaster of Canterlot Academy. Apparently, their lessons on our seapony allies need to be strengthened.”

Seeing he was getting nowhere with his aunt, Blueblood tried another approach. “Think of the scandal, Auntie! Do you really think this is the type of image we want Canterlot to project to the world? I mean, after so many recent problems, can we risk looking so weak?”

Princess Celestia pondered, her eyes closed, as she finished her tea. “I can see the wisdom of your words, Blueblood. I have long told you that you would go far when you learned to think of the needs of others.”

Blueblood smiled and nodded.

“So I have reached a decision,” she continued. “We shall send you away for a year. There’s a small but growing town that needs the talents of a surveyor, so I will arrange a loan of your talents from the Canterlot office to this town. You will stay in royal accommodations, but be removed from the eyes of the court. Gather some of your belongings. I shall arrange for a carriage to depart this evening.”

Prince Blueblood frowned. It was not what he wanted to hear, and it was clear that his aunt and sovereign had made her decision. He bowed, and rose with a calm expression on his face. “As you wish, my liege,” he responded formally.

“And best of wishes to you, dear nephew.”

Prince Blueblood ran around his estate in a panic, ordering around servants as he tried to figure out what he needed to pack. He only had the briefest time to explain how Princess Celestia had ordered him out of Canterlot for work reasons. The surprise on their faces was comforting, in a way; knowing smirks would have suggested that his secret had already gotten out.

Soon, the royal carriage arrived. His staff helped pack his gear, and he made one final wave to them as the pegasi took to the air. He settled in for a long journey, only to feel the carriage start to descent not long after reaching cloud height. He looked out, seeing the small village of thatched roofs approach. He suddenly realized what Princess Celestia had meant by royal accommodations.

Prince Blueblood stepped out of his carriage after he landed, right onto a dusty dirt road. He had only one thing to say.

“Ugh. Ponyville.”

Author's Notes:

This story idea came from a post in the Clopfics forum, suggesting a clopfic focusing on seaponies with reproductive processes resembling seahorses. I liked the idea of the comedic aspect, the story of the pregnant man, which while hardly original is not something I've read here before. And if there's somepony who deserves to get pregnant seapony style, it's a womanizing Prince Blueblood.

I'm not expecting to put clop in every chapter. Rather, the focus will be on comedy, both the obvious comedy above and the fish out of water aspect of Blueblood being forced to live in Ponyville and do actual work.

For this story, I will take reader requests. Anything you want to see, in terms of clop or comedy?