A bright light woke me up, "Eugh- Songhai...close shutters." There was a loud ding before the shutters slammed shut around the windows, "Songhai I love you." I chuckled as I prepared to face my hangover. As I tried to stand I was reminded of the sleeping horse perched on my head. Deciding not to argue with the world for once, I slung her over my neck and carried her through my ship, "About...sixty...Songhai: measure weight."

Another ding sounded from the comms, "Total weight one hundred eighty KG."

I had hit it spot on, "Thank you Songhai," I smiled at my guess as I walked into the restroom block. I set the slowly waking mare on the floor of the shower and walked into a toilet stall.

"Where is the what?" Lyra asked, sounding extremely fucked up.

I finished with my morning piss and started undressing while walking back into the shower, "Shower, best way to clear up a hangover besides hair of the dog."

I chucked my pants outside the shower, followed by my shirt and other clothes until I was left standing nude in the middle of the public shower with Lyra staring at me, "I thought you said you-"

I shook my head, "I've showered with an entire ship crew...you learn that it really doesn't matter." I walked over to the shower room panel and queued up a cold shower. I found a plastic chair in the side of the shower and sat back, "This is gonna be cold, three, two, one." I pressed the button from my seated position and was immediately met with a frigid rush of water, "Okay fuck that!" I slammed the panel until the water went from freezing to luke warm. I dare not take a hot shower while hungover, ends up just feeling gross.

Once everything was sorted and the room was spitting out a torrent of pleasing water I just sat back in my chair and tried to enjoy it. Once I opened my eyes again I was being stared at by a mop of a mare, "Can I touch it?"

I scooted back in my chair, "Seriously? And a better question, how, you don't have hands."

Lyra didn't seem to care about logic, simply content staring at me. "So...it's...big."

I backed up into the wall, "Human eugenics is amazing isn't it...almost as useful as human pride." A combination of gene therapy, good breeding, and physical training has given me everything I need to be amazing, yet still my dad had the foresight to bless me with a decent sized pecker.

In a hasty moment of not wanting to be molested right after waking up hungover I scanned the shower wall and found a bar of soap, "Hey catch-" I hurled the soap past Lyra and to the other side of the showers, "Aw, ya missed. Mind walking over there and getting it?"

She smirked devilishly as the bar quickly slid across the floor and behind her. She quickly turned around and bent over, lifting her tail over her head and wiggling her rump, "I just cant get it, no hands. I might be down here for a while, I might never be able to pick it up."

I was face first with a sopping wet vagina convulsing at me. Had I known her better this might have been awesome but as it was it just made me uncomfortable. I quickly crossed my legs and stared at the shower heads that lined the ceiling, "I'm gonna go, do something somewhere else." I walked out of the shower, grabbing a towel as I passed, "I'll be outside."

I hurried to my room, grabbing a pair of pants, an undershirt, any my mass driver. I always did like shooting the thing, only problem was I was never in an open area like this. I checked the machine and grabbed a few magazines and bottles that littered my room. I really needed to clean this place up...maybe I can make the stowaway do that.

I hurried outside, skipping the mask and braving the fresh air. It was some time in the early morning, sun just cresting over the top of the canyon. It felt nice to feel an actual sun on my face instead of the buzzing electrical lights I normally deal with. I wandered into the canyon and set a few bottles down along the wall.

I walked to the other side and took aim. I always liked these mass drivers, a rail gun that shoots a solid steel spike through just about anything.

I loaded the gun and took aim. The shot was thrown straight through the bottle and deep into the side of the canyon. I moved to the next. I took aim at the very tip of it, trying to shoot off the head. I took my time, lined it up, and... "Human!" The voice caused me to jerk the rifle and send the bolt into the rock above.

"God damn mother fucker!" I threw my gun down, "Don't do that! I could have killed someone!" I stood up and turned, about to scold Lyra, "Just because you-" I bumped into a navy horse, eye to eye with me, "Oh."

The dark blue mare smiled at me, "Human, it is good to see another, even if it has been some time." She pulled me agaist herself with one hoof, "Truly we are pleased to see another."

I pushed free and took a step back, "You horse- ponies- people, whatever, have no concept of personal space!" I pulled a long strand of deep navy hair off of me, "What the hell?"

The mare stomped her hooves, "Human, we request assistance. We need to go to the moon!"

I finally got the hair off of me, "You want to go to the moon...whatever! Fine, maybe then you'll stop invading!" As much as I didn't want these things thinking they could just invade and I'd go along with whatever the moon looked barren, barren moon, no people.

I scooped up my rifle and hurried back to my ship, the mare was breathing down my neck the whole time, "Can you back up please?" I held her a step back, "You can come along but seriously stop standing so close to me...might get the wrong idea."

She looked confused at that, "We don't understand."

I shook my head and walked her towards the pilots station, "Songhai: start launch protocols."  A loud ding sounded once again, followed by a loud whirl as the engines started up. As we walked through the halls Lyra peeked her head out from the galley door, "Find a seat, we're taking off."

"Wait wh-"

"Find a seat, we're taking off." Once I was done I pushed her back into the galley and closed the door. I walked backwards and looked over the dark mare, "So moon butt, what's your name?"

"Moon butt?" She looked at her flank, "Ah, we see...humorous. We are princess Luna!"

"And we talk in the third person!" I mocked, once again flying over her head, "Never mind...name's Ryan, find a seat and get ready." I swung around into the pilots seat and started everything up. Once my new guest was seated I took us up and off the ground. Exiting the planet was a breeze, getting onto the moon was even easier. Only a loud ding caught me off guard, "Songhai?"

Luna leaned over to me, "Who is Songhai?"

The ship gave a soft ding, "Songhai: Sh-"

"Songhai: disregard!" Another loud ding, "Songhai is the ship...now, Songhai: what have you found?"

Another ding, "Ship ID signature: C-6291"

"A ship...on the moon?" I looked at Luna, "You knew about this didn't you." She nodded, growing slightly melancholy. "Songhai...find the ship." I let go of the controls and let the ship fly itself. After a few minutes of flying it settled itself down, "Great...I'll go take a look."

I hurried to the airlock and got suited, Luna once again towering over me, "We will accompany."

I shook my head, "There's no air...on that note, Lyra!"

"What?!"

"Don't use the door, we're on the moon!"

"Okay!"

I shook my head and finished with my suit, "So, you go wait in-" I quickly felt a hoof plink off my helmet.

"We have been on the moon before human...we are not dim. We wish to...pay respects to a lost friend."

"Whatever." I was more interested in seeing what this ship was now. I started the cycle and was quickly met with the dark void of the moon. I was quickly flung aside as the larger creature barreled past me. Once I regained my footing I followed. Behind a small dune sat an antique ship and a ring of paper hats surrounding a corpse, "Man...I'm really not the first human."

I bounced over and found Luna laying with the corpse, "We have missed you Hastings." She laid her head across the well preserved corpse.

"Wait...did you say Hastings? No way this could-" I looked back at the single man ship, "That logo...holy shit!" I ran over to it and inspected the logo, "Holy shit! Oh my beloved god!" I ran over to the corpse and looked him over. A small tag on its suit read Salem Hastings. I stood there dumbfounded, "This...is...amazing!"

Luna looked up at me, a bit teary, "Human?"

"This guy...this body, ship, all of this. This is worth so much money! I can pay off my bounty, buy a ship, buy a planet! I have to go call this in!" I ran back to my ship, leaving the mare to her grieving. I bounced into the airlock and quickly got inside again, "Songhai find the nearest Miran ship and ping them!" A loud ding confirmed it as I hurried to the cabin. I swung into my chair and started pulling up comms.

Another ding came from the computer, "M.C.S. Munich in range. Connecting."

While the computer connected me to the Munich, Lyra strolled in, a towel wrapped around her head and a pair of boxers strapped to her flank. I did a quick double take and looked her over, "Are those mine?!"

She looked back at her flank, "Yep, question, why do they have a tail hole?" She turned around and showed me her butt. She had threaded her tail through the crotch hole.

I blinked hard and drew my lower lip into my mouth, "That's not a tail hole. That's supposed to be for a penis...."

She looked back at her flank before smiling at me, "It still can be if you want~"

"Eugh..." I turned back to my computers and waited.

"Really human? I mean, not to be pompous, but I'm pretty hot." She sat in the chair next to me, "I mean-"

"For a horse...also, do you not know my name? You keep calling me human...."

She looked at me and rolled her head, "Well, I was just gonna call you Humie the human."

"That's terrible, like if I called you pony the...pony." She cocked an eyebrow at my example, "You get what I meant. Anyways, my name's Ryan." I leaned back in my chair, "So this human thing is a fetish isn't it?"

"A little, still just like em though- you- humans I mean. Bigger than I thought you'd be...in both ways." She smiled again, "Oh don't look at me like that...I found the magazines."

My grimace turned to a scowl, "Why are you looking through my stuff!?"

She stuck her tongue out at me, "Studying. Also, are there really lizard people?"

I leaned back in my chair and sulked, "Yeah...they feel really weird, like oiled leather. Nice people though, one of the few races to not immediately shoot at us." I picked a photo off the pin board I kept in the cabin, "Nice girl." I held the picture out for her, "The nice thing about the universe is, generally speaking, females always have holes, males always have pokers, so you generally know what you're in for."

"Huh...scaly," She levitated the picture back to me, "So why not me?"

I stuck the picture back to the board, "I knew that girl for two months before we started dating. I've known you, a stowaway, a few hours?"

She scrunched up her muzzle, "Yeah but I've been waiting for humans a lot longer."

"Deal with-" I was cut off by a loud buzz from a monitor, "Oh, here we go."

The monitor flashed to life, revealing a slender women in a grey officers coat, a bright orange stripe running down the breast of her uniform, "Captain Messer of the Munich, who are you and what do you need?"

I shoved Lyra aside and got ready to talk, "Captain...I have a proposal. I have a small bounty on my head-"

"A criminal!? Yet you think to call a government ship!? Are you stupid?" She asked as if honestly worried.

"Ow...my pride. Listen I think I found the body of one of the Hastings. You know who I'm talking about, I'm offering the location for a pardon, maybe a bit of spending cash. Confirmation on the body: Salem Hastings, ship ID: C-6291. Death from what looks like suffocation."

The captain looked off to the side and spoke some German, "Ensign, check the records. We will see if you are correct..." A few moments later and the captain was handed something, "Repeat ship ID."

"Charlie, six, two, nine, one."

The captain scanned the paper, "...And the body is intact?"

"It's on a rock with no atmosphere, no decomposition, no deterioration. So we have a deal?"

"And you? I need a name for a pardon."

"Ryan Hannik, ex captain of the Songhai, now AWOL." The captain shouted off the screen again, "And don't get any ideas, you try anything funny and I'll throw the whole set into the nearest star."

The captain furrowed her brow, "Ryan Hannik: one count of joint smuggling, one count of dereliction of duty. The bounty for any returned pioneer... Ja, we will be clean, you're small time mein friend. Consider yourself clean once we arrive. Who knows...maybe we leave some money for you." She laughed, "Frau Messer, out." The console shut off.

"Bitch..." I mumbled, "I'll show her small time- wait!" Right after I said it I could hear Lyra snickering, "Shut up!"

"Hey I've seen your penis, I'm not gonna make fun of it. Even if you do." She snickered as she walked out of the cabin, "I'll be in your room if you need me."

"God damn it." I looked out the main window, Luna was rearranging the paper hats around the body, "She's gonna be mad."

"Wait really? You're okay with it?" I yelled as I laid the body out, "I thought you'd be mad."

Luna shook her head, "He was my friend, but I understand. He truly was a hero, deserves to go back to his home."

I moved the body to a stretcher and started back to the ship with Luna, "Huh, that's really nice of you. So how do you know him?" I pressed the button and started the cycle.

Luna smiled and started telling me her story.

With the body stowed safely, I sat with Luna in the cabin, "He just went to sleep..."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, "That's...wow...that bums me out." I look at my ships clock, we'd been up here about three hours, "Man, that- I mean...sorry. You ready to go back down?"

Luna gave one long look at the lunar landscape, "We are ready. We thank you for your time."

"Thank me? Oh believe me, you don't need to thank me." I started up the ship and started off back to the canyon, "Alright...we'll land in a bit. So...you gonna be alright?"

Luna smiled at me, "Yes human, we will be fine. We thank you. What will you do now we wonder."

"Wait...the ship I contacted is about a half a year out. So yeah, I'll be around." Before I could continue we touched down, "And back again...god I love this stupid ship." I stood up and started walking Luna outside, "So you think the natives will be excit- oh." As the ramp slammed open, it revealed an absolute horde of ponies watching me.

"We think so." Luna giggled before prancing out and taking off.

I quickly turned away and started jamming the close door button, "Dude, sup." A neon blue mane strolled into the airlock before it shut, "Don't mind me, just a fan."

"Seriously!? Why does everyone think it's okay to come in he-" I was pushed against the wall of the airlock by the new mare.

"Dude...chill, I'm here for the machine."

"And that mak- Can you fix the ramp?" I asked lazily.

She smiled, "You mean because it slams when it drops? Probably just an over torqued drive chain. You got tools?"

My eyes snapped wide at her knowledge, "Okay...so...I'm not looking for crew...but..." I made sure Lyra wasn't around, "You can stay...just fix the fucking ramp please."

She smiled, "Got a place for me?" I nodded frantically and walked her to a free room, "Sweet," She levitated her bags off and tied her mane back. Her glasses were quickly replaced with a pair of safety glasses as she walked back over, "So, we got work to do?"

She went to walk past, but I caught her in the door, "How do you know about machines?"

"Dude I'm the only pony in Ponyville that has a computer...the one they call when the train breaks, and the one with the sickest beats.... That's a long way of saying I'm awesome."

I said nothing, just giving her a quick hug and leading her to the access hatch. I brought her everything she would need and laid them out while she worked, "So...you're really gonna fix the ramp? Cause...either you're gonna break it worse and I will toss you out on your ass or-"

"Got it." She said, pulling her now grease stained head of the the panel. "Like I though, just needed an adjustment." She tossed a wrench aside. She walked with me into the airlock and pressed the button. The ramp eased down before landing with a soft thud.

I turned to her in amazement, "...I wanna have sex with you really bad right now...."

She smirked, "Maybe later dude. You got something to drink?" She bopped the button and stopped anymore ponies from getting in.

"Seriously...say the word and I will go down on you..."

Her smirk grew a bit worried, "Dude...it was just a ramp...."

"I'm just- oh wow I sound like Lyra- I'm just putting it out there.... Anyways...yeah I think I have some soda somewhere." I wandered off with my new greasy, mechanically gifted, friend to find some soda.

I tossed her a can of fruit juice, "Dude I don't give a crap if you're an alien. Just someone to talk to about something besides apples, friendship, and books is enough for me."

I popped open a can of orange soda and leaned against the counter, "See I thought you'd all be backwards hicks, glad to see I'm wrong. How the hell did you learn about machine parts? Scans said this place is a technological deadzone."

She slammed back the can and crushed it under her hoof, "Well...started with a computer. Then I started mixing music on vinyls, then they built the train. Not a lot of ponies like getting dirty, but those who do are pretty good at it."

I covered my face, "Please stop...seriously you can't get anymore attractive."

"Thanks dude but seriously we just met-"

"Look you're the first anything I've met, that had the skills and the knowledge to fix the stupid thing. It's been broken for about a year and now it's not. You could be anything- you could be a sentient rock for all I care.... Anyways...you like machines?"

She chuckled lightly, "Yeah...on that note, anything else need to be fixed."

"Stop! God damn...I mean...I'm sure I could find a reason for you to bend over but really-" I looked around the room, "Ah here," I grabbed a book on basic maintenance for a spacecraft from on top of the fridge, "Just take this and go before my penis explodes."

She sighed, "Fine...but we're talking about computers later!"

"Over drinks?" I asked with a laugh, "Sure..." I stared at her as she walked off, "God damn...figures at least one of them would be useful." Finally alone in my own ship I sat quietly in the galley. "....Can't go outside...Lyra!"

"What!?"

"Can you make the outside people go away?"

"Ponies pestering my human? Oh heck no." I saw her run past the galley door and towards the airlock.

"Huh..." I sipped my drink, "It's not Hanukkah yet is it?" This was working out pretty well and I just got here, serendipity your name is...wait, I never asked her name. That should really be the first thing I do. I wandered off to find the blue haired mare.