Of course, it just had to be dark and stormy.

Thundering gray clouds roiling in a quiet tempest overhead, darker and darker along the skyline as they trundled toward the battlements only served to cast the already long shadows in a deeper shade. Only silent whispers of the night to come.

“Christ, was it always this gloomy looking?” Eris stared through the curtained window up at the castle, brows furrowed.

William wanted to echo the sentiment, but between the constant jostling of the carriage, the bouncing in his head and his unpleasantly churning stomach, he didn't trust himself to speak. Instead he shrugged with one shoulder, glancing away to keep his gaze toward the carpeted flooring.

“... Yeesh,” Lyra tittered weakly as they thankfully rolled to a halt, free at last from cobblestone and settling onto smooth grass in front of the low vibrant hedges. “Everypony looks so down, are you two feeling okay?”

“Yes fine of course ma'am,” William replied instantly without looking up.

“Not exactly fond memories of this place,” Eris wouldn't seem to meet her gaze for the longest time before letting out a quiet sigh. She lifted her arms high over her head, paw clasped tightly around her wrist as she cracked her back and resumed her usual tilted grin. “But I guess the sooner we get this thing over with, the sooner we can bail.”

“Not a fan of parties, then?” Lyra asked as she exited the carriage first, thanking their transport stallions and holding the door for the passengers.

“No,” he frowned.

“Yes,” Eris responded simultaneously. “But this is like... an ambassador thing, right?”

“Sure,” William said noncommittally without looking at her. He kept his saddlebag tight to his side, nervously eyeing the castle ahead. “I don't want to be here either, Eris.”

Swiftly.

Eris cracked her back, glancing over at the retreating carriage wistfully as more arrived before turning her head back to William, who was already heading towards the lit up castle.

“Then how come you were so eager to come to this thing?” she asked lowly, tail swishing back and forth behind her.

“Mother and her friends received an invitation as well.”

Eris only let out a heavy expectant sigh through her nostrils, glancing over to Lyra with a frown. Lyra, however, seemed to be thoroughly entranced with the castle's cliffside overhang, the warmly glowing lights sneaking from behind every window, the long shadows patiently awaiting the rain. Seeing no help coming from her, Eris shook her head again and followed more closely. Ponies were already milling through, loitering around the castle entrance in fancy suits and flowing dresses. Eris dusted her mismatched hands on her thighs, grinning weakly at the pony marching steadily beside her.

“Man, kinda feel under dressed, seeing all these puffed up peacocks. Know what I mean?”

Again, William did not respond.

“... Because if you think about it we all just kinda showed up naked.”

“Eris,” William said through his teeth as they approached a standing guard at the grand entrance, red carpet rolling through the hall. He whipped out the crumpled parchment from his saddlebag and shoved it in the face of the slightly surprised armored pegasus, who only nodded to him as he rammed it haphazardly back into the bag. “If you don't mind, let's just hurry along. I don't have the time.”

“Oka~y, hold up,” Lyra trotted up to him after nodding politely to the royal guard, nervously eyeing the place as William marched along like he knew the castle comfortably. She dropped a hoof onto his shoulder and he paused for just a moment, and the turn of his head in the bright lights only enunciated the creased lines darkening his eyes. “... Um,” Lyra cleared her throat, a sudden spike of discomfort piercing her the same time those unnaturally sharp eyes did. “Maybe don't run off, okay, William?”
“Of course ma'am,” he responded robotically. “Wouldn't dream of it.”

“What's with the bird faces?” Eris muttered loudly, getting William's attention away from the black and white checkered floor. He glanced up to where she was nodding, and his eyebrows actually rose a little. He knew that coat of arms from somewhere, the emblazoned coats that all of the griffons seemed to be wearing. Lumped together in tightly knit groups, long cloaks covering most of their bodies, the griffons seemed to be in deep conversation alongside one of the walls in the spacious entryway, and more could be seen in the decorated grand hall. Bursts of music emanating from an unseen band further within could be heard, but William's gaze was solely on the griffons until it clicked.

“Gestalt,” William murmured under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he twitched, not noticing that Eris had leaned down next to him. He adjusted his saddlebag cautiously, careful not to rattle the neatly wrapped and packaged preparations. “Let's get into the 'party' already.”

“See, already getting excited!” Lyra proffered hopefully, almost prancing ahead to the wide entrance to the grand hall, poking her head around and taking in with wide eyes the packed floor, fanciful ponies littering the entirety. Her grin expanded at the sight, and she perked up promptly. “Oh, this is gonna be so cool! I'm gonna go talk to the band,” she pointed a hoof toward the corner where a steady stream of classical music was filtering the air. “You should totally come meet them-!”

“Actually I'm very thirsty from the trip here,” William cleared his throat conspicuously. “If you don't mind, I'll just go get a drink.”

“Suit yourself!” he flinched as Lyra patted him kindly on the head. “Just try to keep in sight of us, okay?”

“I'll get me some sip too,” Eris chimed in immediately, and she could feel the sudden clench of William's teeth. “C'mon autobot, let's roll out.”

“Okay...” Lyra stuttered before straightening up and glancing eagerly back to the band, her wide smile already returning. “Don't go too far, I'll be right back!”

They were left standing as ponies milled through the place around them, seemingly everyone that wasn't openly staring at the odd pair were mingling with perfume dusted debonair. William said nothing as he watched as much as he could with intensity, scanning the crowd almost feverishly for a sight of familiar mane.

“... So how's about that drink.”

“Are you sure you don't want to go catch up with Miss Lyra?” William still wasn't looking her in the eyes for the longest time before eventually, finally meeting her gaze for only a brief moment before flipping his stare back to the crowd intently. “Because I plan to loiter away from everyone until we can leave. I'm just going to avoid as many people as I can.”

“Sure,” she shrugged, turning on the spot. “See you in a bit then.”

William let out a silent sigh of relief as she walked away. Her tail swished back and forth like a cat stalking prey, twitching hypnotically in perfect rhythm with her lightly swaying steps. William forcibly blinked and shook his burning face a few times, keeping his line of sight firmly on the drink table not far away. He was so, so close. He took a deep breath and slipped through the crowd, ignoring as many ponies as possible and even rudely pushing through a startled couple, but his buzzing mind was too preoccupied to bother apologizing. He probably wouldn't even see them again. The only ones he was interested in seeing hadn't even noticed him yet. But he'd certainly noticed them. The frizzy pink mane, that repulsively tall behemoth escorting her. And of course, that vibrant collage of color and confidence that had his heart pounding in his throat since the moment he spotted her with them both.

He could hear his pulse slamming in his ears like a feverish drum, the strumming in his chest guiding him onward. A couple of fanciful goblets and a swift casual slip under the tablecloth later, he was almost ready. Thank goodness the constant din and roar of the crowd was dimmed under the thick cloth. He was close, he was so, so close that he could taste it. William hadn't even noticed that he'd been holding his breath so hard that his lungs burned and his throat ached, and he released a shaky breath and tried to keep his quivering hooves still as he mixed the ingredients together. His now open saddlebag kept the final piece of the liquid puzzle, and with a shaky, careful drop from the small crystal decanter that he'd 'borrowed', it all swirled together in a sizzling brew. The heat from the mixture rose and bubbled and grew until it was so hot that he almost couldn't hold it in his hooves, nervously biting his bottom lip and not daring to move an inch unless the concoction properly developed. But then, at last, at long last, the multitude of hues in the hastily mixed potion settled, the smoke collecting in bubbles throughout the thing until it burst out the top in a dark, blackened conglomeration.

William felt as though he were losing it just a bit more as he watched the coal colored smoke form what looked like a heart before dissipating.

He stared breathlessly at the twirling color within as it assumed a singular pinkish color, muddied and dark in the shadows. Perhaps it was just the dim lighting, but it looked almost as if splotches of ink had slipped into the bottle, and vanished quickly within. But that was ridiculous of course. William was very careful, there was no way that such a thing could be. He was pristine, he was cautious. He wouldn't botch this, not after all this work. Granted, this wasn't necessarily the situation that he'd have preferred to find himself in, but the sooner that he could get things in motion the better. He was going to make this work, he'd fix this. It really was a beautiful sight, he could appreciate it now that he had a moment. It was breathtaking in hue, the dimly luminescent coloring sending dancing spackles over the underside of the table. He felt an inexplicable and ridiculous urge to try reaching out and grabbing the little sparkles of light for a bare moment. Perhaps it was brought on by the giddiness.

“... 'sup.”

William yelped and jolted, dropping the crystal decanter. It bounced and slipped in his hooves as he scrambled for it, wild jarring desperation screaming behind his eyes as he struggled to wrap his forelegs around the bottle to keep it from hitting the floor. Very nearly falling right through his clumsy hooves, he managed to slap the whole thing tightly to his body, his lungs aching once again as he realized that he hadn't been breathing. William took in a sharp breath through his teeth as the intense panic faded slightly, replaced instead with jagged irritation, and his glower leveled at the draconequus across from him could have burned a hole through a wall.

Eris shifted under with him, letting the tablecloth fall behind her as they were curtained in. William could not at all read her expression, her crimson eyes locked onto him with an unexpected intensity. She revealed no emotion in the slightest, and that was perhaps even more off putting. Eris was usually easy to read, and the fact that she hadn't said a single word since was throwing him off. He could feel a heat ribboning through his body, uncomfortable sweat making him itch horribly but he forced himself to remain still. William kept his gaze on hers as he tried to shift his hoof casually over the bottle, knowing full well it was too late to actually hide it.

“What. Are you doing.”

“Just practicing chemistry-”

“Don't bullshit me, William.”

That bizarre tension in his heart seemed to be back again, and it was getting difficult to breathe properly. He tried to swallow and found an odd lump in his throat that he couldn't explain, but forced it down anyway, trembling hooves revealing a bit more of the hastily concocted potion.

“Look, I just-just need some help,” William admitted quietly, unable to meet her accusing gaze any longer.

“Dude, if that's what I think it is-”

“It's not!” he blurted. “It's not, it's not poison!”

“What?” Eris blinked, slightly taken aback.

“I just have to get some of this to Mother,” William was rambling at this point, and he knew it. It felt as if all of the needlepoint secrets he'd been trying to bury were sticking their way through him to get to Eris, everything trying to spill out at once no matter how hard he tried to keep it down, just so that someone, anyone would know. “I studied this, I've b-been working on it for a while Eris and I think I've gotten it down pat so it should be a cinch, we just need to get Mother and Miss Pie to d-drink a bit and then they'll remember that they love each other and we can-”

“A love potion,” Eris interrupted, rising so much that her head was pushed against the table. William stared her down, despite how utterly unsettling it was that it almost felt like she had grown in size, tried to ignore the quiet fear that spiked in his belly at the sight of her tightly clenched and shaking fists. “Are. You. Shitting me.”

“I didn't think it was possible at first either but it's fine Eris I can fix all of this I can make it work I just have to try harder this time!” he blurted all at once, feeling flushed and feverish as he held out the bottle to show Eris the whirling tinged liquid. “Look – look look, see?” he could feel his head spinning just a bit and didn't know why, the painful lump in his throat taking precedence over his speech yet again. “It will work I know it will, this time will be different!”

“Dude!” Eris snatched at the bottle and he yanked it away fearfully, scooting away from her while squeezing the decanter tightly to himself. Her hurt expression just made the ache worse. “Will,” she started carefully, deliberately not making any sudden movements. “Listen to me. Listen to your sissen. M'kay? You have. To let. It go.”

“No!” William shouted as he pulled away from her again, shooting her a filthy glare. It was hard, why was it so hard to breathe? “I can fix this Eris, I know I can!”
“What is there to fix?!” Eris was just as loud as him at this point, her lips pulled back in a snarl. She threw a mismatched arm out to the tablecloth, glowering at him. “Things change, Will! They aren't the same people, I need you to realize that, and I have been trying, but this is just fucking nuts!”

“Shut up,” his eyes were stinging as he stamped his hoof against the floor, careful not to drop the bottle. “Just-just shut up Eris! I'm not crazy, I know exactly what I'm doing-”

“And it is bananas,” she insisted firmly, trying to draw slowly closer without spooking him off, but her own fury was tripping her up. “Just listen to yourself for chrissake! It's done, they're gone, it's over, let it go!”

“STOP it!” William spat through clenched teeth, hyperventilating, desperately sucking in short gasp after gasp. “I can fix Mother, I-I-I just have to make her normal again, that's all!”

Eris only gaped at him in disbelief.

“Normal?” her aghast stare said more than her words did. “There was nothing normal about her!”

“You take that back!” his scream tore at his throat, leaving him feeling hoarse. “She's fine, I just have to-to get her t-to remember-!”

“Remember what, that in another timeline she was an abusive loon?” Eris scoffed aloud.

“Lying!”

William tried to speak, struggled to form words and none of them seemed to make it past his lips. His eyes were burning furiously and he didn't know when they had started streaming tears against his will, and a hot rush of shame only made the bundle of barbed wire anger tighten.

“You don't know what you're talking about,” William seethed, his eyes narrowing dangerously, and he pulled the crystal container closer as if he could squeeze it into his chest. “You don't!”

“Like hell I don't!” Eris was over him at this point, having backed him completely into a corner. William was pulling at the tablecloth needfully and only reached wall, internally screaming at his own stupidity. “Like hell I don't! I know exactly what she was like, why do you think I got outta dodge?”

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up,” he'd lost his grip on the decanter at some point, he heard it roll somewhere but couldn't see in the dim lighting. It was so hard to focus, so hard to breathe. “It's not true so shut up Eris just shut up please god please just shut up you're lying-”

“I am not a liar! You have to let go, Will! You keep acting like she's this perfect angel, and she's not! She wasn't alright in the head, I know that, you weren't there when she tried doing shit to me in my sleep, okay?!”

“You're making it up!” William didn't know when he'd started sobbing. He didn't know how to make it stop, either, but that didn't stop him from vainly trying. He shoved her back with shaking hooves, hardly budging her at all as the fractured shout tore his throat. “Just stop it you're making it up!”

“WHY would I make that up!” Eris threw out her arms angrily. “How would you even know?!”

“Because she doesn't love you like she does me!”

There are certain times in life when one is stricken with a sudden intense feeling. For instance, right then, in the absolutely deafening stunned silence, William was regretting literally every single choice and action that had ever led him to that particular point in his life, coupled with a surprisingly stark realization of just how badly he'd botched things. There was, after all, a very slim margin of possibility to him that maybe, perhaps just possibly, he might actually be wrong about one or two things.

“Oh,” was all that Eris managed to whisper after an eternity of shocked silence, her crimson eyes wide as saucers. “Oh. My fucking god.”

William was suddenly finding the act of standing upright quite the herculean task.

His legs buckled underneath him as he slowly sank to the floor, quietly pulling his forelegs up to hide his face. The empty feeling in his gut and chest was back, and it certainly didn't seem to be helping matters. He could feel the heat trickling down his cheeks and across his hooves as he struggled in vain to push back the tide, silently convinced that if he could just try harder he could shove back the shameful disobedient tears staining his features.

“... Will.”

He tried to respond and his throat seized painfully, his warbled answer barely slipping past his hooves in the form of a cracked whimper. He wished that he was anywhere else. Anyone else. It was such a clear realization.

Maybe he needed to think a few things over.

“William.”

William did not trust himself to speak at all anymore. He couldn't quite seem to get the wretched shivering to stop, and the intense flood of heat burning his face made his head feel weak and dizzy. So instead he remained as still and quiet as possible, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could, and even that wasn't enough to make his body listen to the wordless demand of calm that he so badly wanted.

“I'm. I'm, uh...” he heard Eris say quietly after what sounded like a long, steady exhalation. “Shit. I'm gonna hug you now. I mean, if-if you're... I mean, dude, fuck, you are not alright. I'm just- I'm just gonna hug you. M'kay?”

William hardly heard her at all. There was such a strange ringing in his ears that wouldn't seem to go away, like he'd been punched in the side of the head. Maybe that would be preferable, actually, it couldn't possibly be as painful as the ache in his chest.

“I'm not hearing a no,” Eris continued softly as he felt a presence beside him. “So don't freak out on me. I'm right here, right next to you. A'ight? I'm here.”

“I know, Eris,” William released a croak at long last, uncertain of what to do with the arms wrapped around his neck or the accompanying unrecognizable sensation blossoming in him because of it. Eris just pulled him a bit closer until he was in her lap, arms and tail tightening around him like a curled fuzzy shield, and he didn't even bother fighting it anymore. He was too tired, his brain felt like mush. He didn't want to so much as contemplate pushing her away anymore. Not right now. Not when she was quietly trembling and rocking them both back and forth, murmuring soft nothings that they both knew were pointless. The befuddlement was there, always there; and William despised himself for it, for not understanding her quite enough, for not understanding everything as much as he was supposed to, as he needed to. God she confused him. She confused him so much.

So instead he did the unthinkable, the illogical and unnecessary.

He silently leaned into Eris and hugged her back.

She still hadn't returned.

Of course, William wasn't about to go out there.

He couldn't. Not right now. Not yet.

He couldn't risk her seeing him like this. Even that thought alone made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

So William pulled his legs a bit closer to his body, curling inward against the tablecloth covered wall. He really should have planned this out a bit better. But no, he had to go and get all anxious like always and jump the gun. But perhaps that was for the best. William had no idea whether or not the potion would have actually worked, he hadn't run trial tests. Always test first. Something could always go wrong, he needed to always, always prepare for error. And lately it seemed as though he'd been bungling quite a lot of things. He let out another silent sigh through his snout, resisting the urge to interlock his no longer existent fingers together. A love potion was a dumb idea anyway, he just had to keep repeating it was all.

Speaking of which...

William worriedly glanced across the underside of the table, still waiting on her return. She seemed to be taking hours and hours, and the lump in his throat seemed to swell yet again as he pushed his hooves against his eyes. No need to go starting that again. He tried to keep his breathing as steady as he could, the weird semi-convulsions of his upper body returning the longer he tried to ignore it. That stupid sharpness in his heart wouldn't seem to go away either, it always made it so hard to breathe, but it was fine. Everything was fine, he just had to keep repeating it was all. It wasn't his fault that he was falling apart like this, it couldn't be. His mind was just fine, which he reiterated to himself in a silent mantra that failed over and over to convince him.

My body is wrong.

Everything is wrong.

He fought to clear his head, which was turning out to be a slow process. All of the thoughts felt so jumbled between his ears. When exactly had it gotten so hard to think? It all felt so clear and concise before. So much simpler. Somewhere down the line, things had gotten strange, and it baffled him. Maybe, though... maybe it wasn't that everything else was confusing. Maybe it was just his own head that was the problem. He wasn't right. He'd been wrong before, he could be wrong about this. He wasn't... normal.

“... 'sup,” Eris's voice jolted him out of his worried reverie. He hadn't realized just how fiercely he'd been chewing on his bottom lip, and flicking his tongue out rewarded him with a taste of copper. He self consciously wiped his face with the crook of his foreleg, unable to meet her gaze again.

“So,” his voice was still scratchy from what he'd prefer not to think about. “Did you...?”

“Yep,” Eris flopped down beside him with a grunt, letting her tail roll out comfortably between her legs as she passed him a filled goblet. She settled in comfortably beside him as she promptly switched directions with her prehensile extension, awkwardly shifting with her tail wriggling behind him. He twitched away only for a moment of irritation before sidling in a bit more with a sigh. “I made sure to get rid of it, don't even worry bro.”

“... Thanks, Eris.”

“Don't mention it,” she took a long drink of her own goblet before smacking her lips a few times. “I don't even know what this stuff is, man. Booze-y? Apples? A cider-y thing? Kinda spicy, you know?”

“Not really?” William distractedly stared up at her at long last as he took a few small experimental sips of his own. Why was she being so casual about all of this? He was fighting just to do the same and still felt like he was on the verge of screaming incomprehensible noise just to get it out of his body. Maybe Eris was just handling everything better than he was. Somehow, that bothered him even more. “I mean, it is most certainly cider, yes.”

“Not strong enough for my liking,” Eris rubbed the back of her long neck, taking another swig and swishing it around her mouth before swallowing. “Next time we'll bring a keg, then it'll be a party. I've definitely had stronger than this, it's just not what I was expecting is all.”
“So what were you expecting?” William resisted the urge to yawn off the sleepiness. He took another nervous drink as he stared at her, watching her gaze narrow a bit. It was odd to see her so contemplative over something so trivial. At least the cool drink helped the burning in his throat, until that started burning a bit too.

“I guess I expected it to taste, I dunno...” she rolled her wrist calmly. “Shittier?”

“Hopefully not literally,” William responded with a tired, ever so tiny smile.

Eris only balked at him, mouth hanging slightly open, eyebrows shooting up.

“... What?” he glared, all friendly emotion draining instantly.

“Okay,” Eris blinked and looked away before rubbing her face with her free hand before chucking the goblet. “I just feel like I need to address that you – specifically you – are using humor to cope.”

“And what pray tell is wrong with that?” William's lips pursed as he took another drink, not dropping his gaze from her for an instant. Her tail felt awfully fuzzy and cozy so close to him, he wasn't certain if he was being drawn closer to her or vice versa. Either way, he refused to admit it.

“I didn't say there was anything wrong with it,” she reached out and ruffled his mane, causing him to sputter indignantly. He didn't move away, though he did ineffectually slap at her mismatched hands and try to realign his white mane, much to her amusement. That silly, almost unnoticeable smile kept trying to make its way back to his face despite his will. “I'm just saying, my dude, I wasn't expecting it out of you to start managing stress with jokes. Like, I mean, I thought that was my thing.”

“Who says it's entirely your 'thing', as it were?” William swiveled a bit to face her without pulling away from her too much. “You aren't the only one to have a thing, you know. I can have things, I can like things. Maybe that's my thing. I'm significantly adept with my thing.”

Eris was already snickering before she opened her mouth.

“Don't,” he deadpanned, only causing her titters to worsen as she poorly hid her smirk behind her talons. “Caught it just after I said it.”

“But-”
“Seriously Eris don't,” William stared at her. He started to speak before his words failed him and he wound up taking an unsteady breath, glancing away for what felt like hours. He closed his eyes for a bit as he leaned into her a bit closer. “... I'm. I'm sorry. Eris. For... for everything.”

“C'mon, man. I know it's hard. But sometimes you just gotta let it roll off, like water on a duck.”

“She's really not the same person, is she...” he said through clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes closed before prying them open, and he didn't have to look in a mirror to know that they were still red and puffy. “None of them are. They're... everyone, everything is different now. Maybe it... maybe change isn't as awful as I thought. Just maybe.”

“Just wish it hadn't taken me so long to get that through to you,” Eris sighed through her snout. “Should have... shit. Should have been smarter. Should have tried harder.”

“It isn't your fault, Eris. If anything, it's my fault. Usually is anyway.”

Eris blinked and slipped her mismatched hand into his free hoof, watching as he twirled what was left of his cider around his goblet absentmindedly. William wasn't really certain how to handle the thumb of her paw drawing small circles. He felt his fingers twitch trying to grasp her hand back before the realization set in yet again. It always left that strange sense of disconnect.

“Dude, you can't blame everything on yourself. Stop that junk.”

“I just-” William started before cutting himself off, biting his sore lip again. “I miss them. I miss my Mom, Eris.”

“Even though-”

“Yes,” he interrupted, clearly uncomfortable. “I know, I know Eris. I suppose I just...”

William stared at the murky liquid before sighing for the umpteenth time, throwing back the entire thing. His cheeks were brighter than they were before and he shook his head fiercely, shuddering slightly.

“I guess I thought that I... owed her?” William murmured in an unexpectedly abashed tone. “She was the first one to take me in. The first one to take care of me without treating me like-like some kind of side show, the first one to... to even bother. I suppose that at some point I just got it into my head that, after everything she'd done for me, I... I would always owe her, somehow or another.”

“Will,” Eris gripped his chin with her talons, forcing his weary gaze up at her. “I want to make sure you've gotten that outta your system, because you do not owe somebody jack diddly squat. Got it?”

William wasn't responding. He simply stared.

He finally turned his head away, shifting with unease, but he kept her paw tightly gripped to his hoof, unable as he was to separate himself from her.

“It doesn't make me stop missing her.”

“It's not healthy, dude.”

“I know, Eris,” William put his empty goblet down on the floor carefully, rubbing his face furiously afterwards. The bitterness cracking his voice was plain as day, even the turmoil of forcing down any emotion from littering his features was apparent. “I understand that, painfully clearly. But it's... it's what I knew, okay? It wasn't like I could just... well, actually,” he corrected himself, rubbing his temple with the tip of his hoof. “I actually did run away. Several... several times. She always found me. It didn't matter where I went, it wouldn't matter anyway. There's no point in mindless repetition.”

Eris let out a sigh, blowing out her cheeks. She only gave him a stare that he couldn't easily identify, eventually running her talons through her hair and scratching the tip of her antler awkwardly.

“Gotta admit,” Eris said after a while of silence. “Not really where I anticipated you'd go with that. If you knew then, then why-?”

“Because it doesn't matter, Eris,” William answered quietly without looking at her. She hadn't noticed when he'd gotten so still. “It didn't matter. Neither do I. All that matters is whether or not I make her happy.”

“Fffffffffuuuuuuuuuck that,” she jabbed him in the side with a talon, making him squirm suddenly. “You listen to me, and you listen good you puffy pink pastry,” Eris gripped him fully, and he was a bit thrown off by the intensity of her stare. “Somebody like that doesn't deserve to tell you what you're worth or what you're for or whether or not you matter. Because you do. You matter, okay?”

William once more found that speaking without his tongue fumbling was not as necessarily simple as he'd have liked.

“... Shut up Eris,” he mumbled as he buried his face in her chest fluff, hugging her.

“You don't mean that.”

“I know,” William sighed again as he pulled away. “Please don't think badly of her – I mean, who-who she used to be. She can change – I mean, she did change,” he corrected himself quickly, an unsettling discomfort rising in his chest from the look she was giving him. “If things got out of hand, then she would change and it would be fine.”

“So is that your observation?” Eris asked in a low tone. “Or did she just say she'd change and leave it at that?”

He didn't seem to have an answer at all.

“It was all my fault anyway,” William closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He was just so tired. He didn't think that he had any more tears left to shed, and wouldn't want to even if he did. The weariness was so bone deep, the ache in his chest wouldn't go away and the thrumming headache didn't seem to be lightening up either. “I have a nasty habit, Eris. All I do is ruin everyone's lives. I'm just as bad as she was then. I'm not a good person, Eris.”

Eris was stuttering something at that point, her eyes widening, but he silenced her with a quick hoof over her mouth.

“No.” William glared flatly. “I know, you're going to say something stupid and cheesy about how I can't blame myself or a myriad of inanities, but you need to understand, Eris. I hurt Mother just by being seen by her. Every time she looked at me it must have reminded her, all I did was steadily wear on the poor woman as a constant burden, so it's no wonder! I'm – I am sorry, Eris. Please. I'm sorry.”

“... You done?” she gripped both of his hooves in her mismatched hands. Her narrowed stare faded slowly as she watched his eyes water and his head dip, unable to force himself to look at her anymore.

“I just... I just want things to be normal, Eris,” William muttered bitterly. “Just once. Just for a little while. I want things to be normal again.”

“Uh-”

“I know it wasn't normal,” he confessed angrily, trying to pull away from her grip to wipe his eyes, but Eris wasn't releasing him. “I know, alright? I k-know I shouldn't want to go back, I know it's not good, I know it's not normal, but just-just... goddammit Eris! Will you stop looking at me like that?!”

Eris's shoulders heaved as she drew him as closely to herself as she possibly could, arms and tail wrapped around him like a tightly packaged gift. William let out a strangled and slightly irritated noise, but did not fight her further. He heavily contemplated releasing a stream of choice words and debated against it, instead going limp in her grip completely.

“Fuck dude,” he heard her choke out. “Big sis, be the big sis. Said I wasn't gonna cry, said I wasn't gonna cry anymore, and I'm fuckin' doing it anyway, fuck shit fuck-”

“Eris, good lord you need your mouth washed out with soap,” William refused to open his stinging eyes. He hugged what part of her he could from the awkward angle, sighing through his nose. “It's... it's fine, Eris.”

“My ass.”

“It's going to be fine,” he reassured her. William pulled away a bit to see Eris violently scrubbing her eyes with her palms, blowing a breath through her cheeks again and clearing her throat. “Alright?”

“Yeah,” Eris said without looking at him. “Guess I just didn't really figure out how bad shit was.”

“It. Is going. To be fine,” William reiterated firmly, grasping her cheeks in his hooves and forcing her to look at him for a full beat. “Maybe not right now, certainly, but-but-”

“But we'll make it that way,” she finished for him. He exhaled a silent sigh of relief and released her.

They fell silent for a while, simply holding each other in the dark as the din and muffled music wafted through the air outside.

“... Kinda weird to think everybody else is just having a normal party right about now,” Eris said eventually. The pain in his chest still hadn't stopped entirely, but William wasn't all too concerned with it anymore. Just being in close proximity with Eris seemed to have that strange effect on him.

“Do you think Miss Lyra is worried we're missing?”

“Probably not,” she scoffed. “I doubt she's even noticed, dude.”

“Maybe...” William didn't want to move away from her. Weirdly, it was probably the most comfortable and simultaneously uncomfortable he'd been in a long, long time; and even weirder, he found himself worrying about whether or not Eris felt the same. “Maybe.”

“So Dad is here.”

“He is?” William balked suddenly, a spike of panic shooting through him.

“Not at the party thing,” Eris cast out a paw toward the tablecloth. “But Princess Venasaur Solarbeam out there was talking about Dad with those macho military flamingos.”

“Eris, sometimes the hardest part about talking with you is deciphering most of what you're saying.”

“I know, dude. I'm a ton of fun.”

“Well, you're half right-”

William found it suddenly hard to breath from the incessant sharp tickles to the ribs.

“Eris stop that!” he giggled, the absolute horror plain on his face at hearing such a ludicrous noise emanating from his own mouth. “S-stop Eris, I'm not ticklish!”

“Really?” Eris grinned wickedly, snagging him by the sides and viciously tickling him further, her delight obvious at his discomfort. “Because for somebody's who's not ticklish, you sure do wiggle!”

“Alright alright alright alright I'm sorry!” he managed to wail angrily through the awful titters. “Dammit woman you will not infantilize me!”

“Chill, my dude,” she snickered, setting him down on wobbling legs. “But just to let you know, you are not getting away with that. It's really mean.”

William began to shoot back a retort as he brushed himself down before he clamped his mouth shut, promptly freezing in place and blinking at her.

“... Sorry, Eris,” he cleared his throat and glanced away. “You are correct. It was immature of me, and a low blow.”

“Which you happen to be at the perfect height for,” she added seriously.

“REALLY, Eris?” he stared at her with a tilted, blatantly irritated deadpan.

“Sorry, dude, I know you've got a short fuse.”

“What were we just talking about?” William didn't bother fighting the grin anymore. It was obvious from her playful tone that she wasn't too serious. And right then, William would most certainly prefer going along with it. “I will have you know that I am the perfect height.”

“Yeah, for a troll doll,” Eris pushed his nose after he flopped – actually flopped – right into her lap. “I mean, have you seen your hair lately, Einstein?”

“Speak for yourself,” he inspected the bottom of his hoof casually. “But you do make a toupee look good.”

“And you'd make a good toupee, don't push me,” she poked him in the belly, making him instantly wriggle with aggravation.

“Absolutely scathing!” William gasped in faux offense. “I'll have you know I am coat material, I'll settle for nothing less than the best.”

Eris couldn't contain her laughter anymore. She did her best to hold it in and only wound up sputtering through tightened lips as she gave up trying to hide it.

“Dammit dude,” her toothy grin widened upon seeing a genuine smile on him for once. “Alright. You got me with that one.”

“... Thanks Eris,” William closed his eyes temporarily and hugged her, even if it still didn't feel natural doing the hugging thing. “Just... thank you.”

“No need my dude,” Eris rubbed the back of her stiff neck sheepishly. “Thanks for putting up with me.”

“Oh, please. Putting up with you?” William scoffed with a matching smirk. “I already told you, Eris. I'll settle for nothing less than the best.”