Celestia... ugh.

I tapped my hoof impatiently, as the guards told me the latest going-ons of the world. As of now, no news was good: The griffons had defected to Malideus's side of things, an evil city belonging to Malideus was erected on Ponyville's ruins, and Cloudsdale had fallen to his wickedness, the cloud city ravaged by an unstoppable supernatural disaster that the guards are now calling a 'soulnado', the weather factory destroyed, and bodies everywhere, all marking his passage. But how? How could he have found the city so quickly? He displayed no interest in Cloudsdale, if he even KNEW about it, prior... What could the pegusi have done to draw his ire? Even more so, how did he slip by the wards that were placed around the city? They should have destroyed him!

I want to know how this disaster could have happened, but further news reached me in the form of a young guard, interrupting my train of thought.

"Princess Celestia! We have new reports!" The guard exclaimed, trembling like a leaf, leading me to believe that whatever the reports were, they weren't good. What could be worse than what he's done now, Some kind of walking superweapon?

"What is it?" I ask Impatiently, turning to face the young guard, as he snaps a shaky salute.

"There's... Something's appeared in the courtyard! We don't know what he is, but we have him surrounded! He hasn't made any hostile moves, but we're bringing him here for you to evaluate yourself..." The guard says, and I perk up, stunned that something ELSE has turned up. Hoping it wasn't the same as Malideus, I consult the guard:

"Where is... Wait, he? Did you call the new... thing... a 'he'?" I ask, surprised.

"Well... That's how the creature preferred to be identified... He also claims to have no intentions of harming us." The guard says, and I relax a little: The last thing I need right now is another Malideus running around. However... how do I know I can believe it, er, him?

"Where is he now?" I ask, and the young guard beckons me to follow him, so we walk down the stairs from my room, to the main lobby, where the new creature was being held. As soon as I see the lobby, I see him: A giant mass of golden armor, with a full helmet with a crest similar to my own guards atop his head.He seems to be talking to the guards, and they... they're smiling, laughing! He laughs along with them, and it's painfully obvious that he is no threat, despite his massive size, and the great battle-axe that's slung over his shoulder. In a short summary, he's like Malideus, except... well, he's not! This being appears to be Malideus's exact counterpart, from his attire to his personality. Seeing no threat in this massive creature, I approach him slowly, and he takes immediate notice of me, looking at me with an aura of awe and curiosity about him, despite the fact that his face is hidden.

The guards, noticing my approach, quickly step to the side, and, before I can introduce myself, the awed warrior kneels, lowering his head, and speaks in a deep, metallic, but oddly hollow voice, quite different from Malideus' own harsh, commanding voice, shocking me:

"Princess Celestia... This is such an honor! I... I can hardly believe I'm here, before the princess herself..." The creature says, and I must have looked surprised, because the armored figure quickly looks to the side, obviously embarrassed. I, though, pay no mind. This being is most certainly not Malideus, or any being he could conjure, But I still don't know if I can trust him. After all, he only just appeared outside, and he bears many remarkable similarities to the wizard, so I try to talk to him, to glean what I can of this newcomer's intentions.

"Please, calm yourself, sir. Yes, I am Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria. Now... may I ask who you are? I assume the guards have told you everything already..." I begin, calming him, but the newcomer shoots up to his full height, almost as tall as me, not including his crest, and shakes his hands, stopping me mid-sentence, to my surprise.

"No, nonono, see, I've known about you for a while now! See, I'm kind of a bit of a fan of you guys... so... I kinda know a lot." The armored giant says, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "As for my name... Well, it's Nathan, and it's, obviously, a great pleasure to actually meet you, even if... you know, you're not quite how I thought you'd look... Oh, I'm just giddy!" Nathan says, bouncing inside his armor, and this shocks me quite a bit, but if he's on the same level as us, then I'll take that advantage in a heartbeat.

"I see. Then you know of our... situation?" I ask, and Nathan cocks his head to the side in a gesture of confusion.

"'Situation'? What, is it a monster attack? A magical emergency of some kind? Is all of Equestria in danger?" Nathan asks, causing me to internally sigh, but still, he's not that far off. There was certainly a monster involved, after all...

"Close." I say, getting Nathan's attention, and I proceed to explain: "Nathan, we are currently in very real danger of total conquest, by a creature very similar to you. His name... Is Malideus. He appeared much like you not even a year ago, and declared war on us, using powerful magic he stole from our artifacts, including the crystal heart, the Alicorn amulet, and... the Tree of Harmony. Now, he controls an army of devils large enough to wipe out all of ponykind, and then some, and recent reports say that he has taken Cloudsdale, and is manufacturing some kind of superweapon to finally wipe us from existence." I explain, and Nathan seems to be struck by some unseen realization, but he quickly shrugs it off, bowing his head again, and responds.

"I see... and nothing you can do will work on him?" Nathan asks, and I shake my head sadly, and the guards around us begin to receive darker expressions, knowing why we can't beat him.

"No, Nathan. Malideus is far too crafty for our attempts to subdue him, or try to make him see reason. Every time we capture him, some unseen consequence of his prior actions returns to free him from our prisons, and he even found a trick to reflect my light-based magic. He is too tricky to get a lock on, and far too dangerous and violent to let live. But, we can't do anything, since he's attuned himself to adapt to our every contingencies and strategies, so we are forced to sit behind wards while he destroys everything we have worked so hard to achieve." I explain sadly, and Nathan nods slowly, and he suddenly grabs my hand, and speaks:

"Then I will face this monster! You have my word, O great princess of the sun, that I will find Malideus, and I will stop him, no matter how many monsters he may send to face me! I promise this, Celestia, on my word, and my honor as a dignified human being; Malideus will fall!" Nathan says, raising his clenched fists to the sky, but taking care not to crush my hand, which he releases soon after. Still, he just called himself a 'human being', and I begin to wonder... didn't Malideus call himself the same thing?

"Nathan... You said you were 'human', correct?" I ask, curious.

"Indeed, Milady. Why? Is there something important I need to know concerning my race? Are there more of my kind here?" Nathan asks, with wild curiosity, and I consider telling him about Malideus being called a 'human' as well, but I think better of it.

"... No. It's nothing." I say, after a moment of pause, which felt like an eternity. I don't want to lie to our only hope of continued survival, but if he found out that Malideus was human, like him, it could prevent him from carrying out his promise, or give Malideus an opportunity to kill him, further dooming us as a race. I cannot risk that... even if I must go against everything I stand for to achieve that end. Suddenly, my thoughts are cut short by Nathan, who seems to be looking around for someone.

"Say, speaking of a lack of others, Where is Luna? I surely expected her to be here!" Nathan says. Oh, I hate exploiting the misfortune of others, especially my dear sister, but Nathan must be told, in order to completely cement his resolve.

"Luna is... unconscious, as of now..." I say, feeling my heart wrench as I remember the terrible fight with Malideus, and how, even three days afterward, she remains unable to wake up, lying helplessly in her bed. "Malideus, he struck her down... and now, even though the fight was days ago, she remains comatose, and none of our magic can awaken her." I say, and I see Nathan's shoulders slump as the weight of the situation hits him, and I myself feel on the verge of tears, dragging this innocent creature into a fight he should have never been a part of. Finally, after a moment of silence, Nathan stands tall again, and I see his burning green eyes in the darkness behind his helmet's slit visor, longing for justice.

"All the better reason to slay Malideus, then." He says coldly. "I wish I could have been there to stop it... I'm sorry for your loss." He says, but I smile painfully, shaking my head.

"No... you are a good being, but there was nothing you could have done, even if you HAD been there. Ponyville was in ruins, and Luna was being brash... and now she's going to... pay for it." I say, choking up. I hate being so emotional before my subjects, but I can't help it: My country is falling apart around me, my sister is likely on her deathbed, and this one brave hero is the only one offering to go against the terrible sorcerer. I have every right to be emotional... as much as I despise admitting it. However, my tears are cut short as Nathan grabs me, pulling me close, in a tight, but friendly embrace. I am surprised... but I do not fight. His gesture of friendship moves me more than words can describe, so, I only utter two, as I return the embrace:

"Thank you." I whisper, and I can feel the human smile beneath his helmet as he continues his embrace, and finally releases me.

"Worry not, Celestia; Soon, the overlord-to-be will lie dead, and I will see to it that your sister is returned to us!" Nathan says, his voice deep and full of comfort, and his green eyes visible in the darkness, filling me with hope. If anyone can best the evil wizard, it has to be Nathan. However, before I can continue my lament, a pegasus guard bursts through the doors, visibly terrified out of her wits, and she addresses me:

"Celestia! Celestia! News! Our scouts have reported a large, walking machine exiting the foundry at the center of Malideus' city! It's currently headed southwest as we speak, and none of our interception squads we sent after it are reporting back! Ma'am, we believe that this may be Malideus' superweapon! What do we do!?" The panicking guard asks, and Nathan shuffles a bit, looking ready to tackle this thing head-on, and I almost let him, but I have to refrain: If this truly is Malideus' greatest weapon, Nathan will stand no chance against it. However, it is just a metal box, and I can easily crush it. Finally, I make my decision:

"Send all our finest soldiers to meet the weapon, and equip them with our finest arms. I will meet up to combat it shortly. Where did you say the superweapon was headed?" I ask, ignoring the pleading look from Nathan to the best of my ability.

"Uhh... South, Ma'am. When should I send the soldiers?" The guard asks, and I reply:

"Now. Send everyone you can equip with our best armor and weapons, and stall that abomination for as long as you can! I will be there to land the finishing blow." I command, but Nathan finally loses his patience, and snaps at me:

"Celestia, let me go with you! I said I would beat Malideus, and this is the perfect test to prove my mettle! Let me do this with you!" Nathan begs, but I sigh, and place a hand on one of his massive pauldrons in a gesture of stillness.

"No, Nathan. If I send you, his machine could likely crush you in an instant. Plus, what if this was a diversion, and he was really going to show up here while we were distracted by the weapon?" I ask, and realization creeps over Nathan as he realizes my point. "You have to stay here, Nathan. Once the superweapon is dealt with, I will let you go, to do as you see fit. But, for now, you shouldn't blindly rush off into battles with an enemy you know nothing about, especially when they have giant weapons on their side. Understand?" I ask, like a mother explaining to a child... Like I would have done to Twilight, if she was here to face the metal aberration. Still, Nathan quietly nods, kneeling once more.

"Ma'am, the soldiers are armed and on their way, would you like to leave now, or later?" The guard asks, and I look into space for a while, in thought. Finally, I snap out of it, and reply:

"I will leave soon. Give me some time and I'll be off." I say, and the guard nods, and everyone, including Nathan, leaves me to my thoughts. I still have to talk to the elements about this, and I have to tell them to protect Nathan. He seems formidable, but I can't be sure yet until I've tested him. But if he is as strong as I suspect, then Malideus should be no trouble to me.

"Prepare yourself, Wizard... we may have a superweapon of our own." I muse to myself, and I stalk off, eager to inform the Bearers of Harmony of our new situation.

Malideus, moments before...

"Mal, get up, you have evil to do today." Mizzy says, shaking me out of bed, and causing me to groan in annoyance at the disturbance of my slumber. Seriously, what do you people have against sleep?!

"Uhn... you're not my mom..." I mumble, putting my head under my pillow, in a failing effort to tune Mizzy out. It may seem obvious, but I was in so much physical pain right now. I got dropped from the sky, walked for hours through a dead forest, which I found out that Kherrie has no control over, and I fought a demon from right of the first few levels of Dark Souls. So yeah, sleep is a good idea right now. Unfortunately, Mizzy seems to have a different opinion.

"Malideus, it's a beautiful day, and Kelias sent word that your new toy is done! Now put your robe on, and go be productive. Seriously, Equestria isn't gonna destroy itself." Mizzy says sternly, and I shift, but do not budge. I deserve sleep, dammit! H.O.U.N.D or no H.O.U.N.D, I'm not leaving this bed!

"Mizzy, kindly fuck off. My head hurts, and your whining isn't making it go away." I say tiredly, and Mizzy sighs, then picks up the whole bed, and dumps me out of it. Jeez, what pissed HER off?

"Kelias is waiting in the foundry for your arrival. Now git, before I drop the bed on you." Mizzy says sternly, and I grumble angrily, but obey, putting on my robes and armor, and tiredly stumbling out of the cave, down the path I made to the cave so I didn't have to climb it, and down the path I had my devils carve through the forest, leading to Malideopolis, grumbling angrily the whole way.

"Freakin' acts like my wife now... I'll never sleep with another woman as long as I live..." I mutter, among other things, as I head for Malideopolis, and I walk for a while along the trail, until I'm stopped by Otsuna, who seems to be in a talkative mood, oddly enough.

"Hello, Malideus. I thought you were sleeping in today?" Otsuna says, tilting her head in curiosity.

"Fuck off, dog." I reply nonchalantly, causing Otsuna to huff in exception.

"Well, and a fine morning to you, too." She says, following me down the trail. "So, O master of doom & gloom, have you by any chance seen Kherrie around? I haven't seen her since they rescued you." Otsuna says, and I'm about to respond, when a root, out of nowhere, might I add, snaps around my foot and trips me. I then fall to the ground face-first, and that completely eradicates any shred of good mood I might of had until that point, replacing it with sheer, horrible anger and rage. God, now I know how Zero-Two felt... sans the glass shards.

"I'm gonna burn this forest down if it's the last thing I do..." I mutter harshly, and I feel a familiar presence as two odd feet press against my back, and I hear a girlish sigh from above me.

"Oh, Mal, still can't take a joke... it's kinda sad, really." Kherrie says, and Otsuna seems to stifle a giggle as I get up, forcing Kherrie to get off of me. I then brush myself off, and scowl at both of the two chucklefucks before me, both looking particularly guilty.

"I have a great sense of humor, Kherrie. You just really suck at jokes!" I snap furiously, and Kherrie fake-gasps at my retort, over-dramatizing the situation, to my anguish.

"Oh, Otsuna, it's truly tragic! The worst possible thing!" Kherrie mocks, causing me to tremble with rage.

"What could it be, Kherrie?! Surely, our glorious leader couldn't be..." Otsuna goes on, and I feel blood vessels rising to the surface in my head.

"I'm afraid so, Otsuna! I'm afraid Mal... He's... Butthurt!" Kherrie exclaims, and both of them dramatically gasp, pause for effect, and burst out into laughter, and it takes all my willpower to not vaporize both of them, as I trudge off, leaving the two laughing dumb-fucks behind as they roll on the ground, laughing at their own stupid jokes. Why was I not being taken seriously anymore? I remember way back when, when I had at least SOME control over my minions. But now, my makeshift army was constantly trying to humiliate me, get equal to me, or get in my pants. Hell, even Kitsune, the only uninteresting diamond dog I know, is sleeping on the job more and more. The only one who listens to me anymore is Hezafen, and that's because he's a robot, basically. I need to regain the respect of my inner circle, but how? What can I do to show that I am not to be fucked around with?

I think on this for a while, when Kherrie stops me again, further raising my already-critical blood pressure.

"Hey, Mal, come on! What's eating you? You're alive and well, and it was just a harmless joke!" Kherrie says, and I sigh, forcing myself to calm down. Bolas above, I bet Celestia doesn't have to put up with this shit...

"Kherrie, listen. I have nothing against a good joke, I really don't. But I have fought your dad, and almost lost, got dropped into an undead-infested forest, and almost GOT lost, and fought a giant demon the size of a large building, and that was from the waist up, might I add, and DEFINITELY almost lost, and that was all in one day. Right now, I don't want pranks, or anything else but complete and total destruction of everything that this god-forsaken world stands for. Now, if you please..." I say, stepping around the nature goddess, who seems downtrodden about something. No, inner white knight, you stay in your corner! You've gotten me into enough trouble! I'll let you out later, when you can't interrupt anything. Okay... Now to continue on to the foundry; I'll deal with Kherrie later. Right now, I need to go see what the hell Kelias has woken me up to see. Whatever it is, it had better be big and destructive.

So, I had finally, after some walking, made my way to Malideopolis, where the sight of The Foundry greeted me, filling me with some shred of happiness. Here, no pony, even the princesses, could hope to reach me, and my evil ways were going unhindered, as my devils, and my other, less cave-bound minions continued their lives, each contributing to the cause of anarchy in their own ways. To the east, I see a housing complex, with Xenia sitting atop a low tower, looking for someone with her rifle, and to the east, a large building, with the letters "CFP" attached to the front, over the entrance. And now, I was headed toward the biggest source of anarchy in the world: The Foundry. As I walk inside, I feel the familiar blast of heat greet me, as a wave of hot air blows out of the open entrance. I hear the sounds of working devils as I enter: metal hammering against metal, the scratching of claws on steel catwalks, and the yelling of unfortunate devils who got metal sheets dropped on their tails. Ah, the sound of productive evil, the smell of ionized metal, and the sight of molten metals falling into molds, creating components for the ultimate war machine... God, it's good to be bad.

I look around a bit more, and I stop when I finally see my target: Kelias, still wearing his nifty red-and-black business suit. Immediately, I catch up to him, and he turns about, welcoming me with welcome arms.

"Mal, my favorite overlord!" He says in his usual Philadelphian accent, and I shake his hand, eager to see what he's made for me.

"Kelias, my favorite devil. I heard you made me that toy I commissioned?" I ask, and Kelias laughs evilly, motioning me to follow him upstairs.

"Oh, yes... I think you'll like it very much. Right this way, please." Kelias says happily, and I practically shudder and jump with all the pent-up excitement as I follow the devil up the stairs, to the southern catwalk that goes over The Foundry's main vat, walking over the churning molten metal as we walk for a while, until we reach a giant, boxed platform, with a drawbridge-like door in the front with chains running across it. At last, our journey has ended, and only a few feet of tempered steel stand between me and my greatest weapon ever. God, I could just explode from the excitement!

"'Kay, sir, here it is. Now, before I open it, remember: This is the only one we could make, so try not to bust it up too bad, got it?" Kelias asks, and I nod slowly, the tension in the air almost palpable. Then, without a word, Kelias nods to a bunch of devils above us, and they all scurry to their assorted positions next to the levers, and they all pull the assorted levers back, releasing the chains, and causing the drawbridge-like door to fall forward, and what I see right there, before me, in all its 200-foot, 500-ton, metal glory, is the single most epic mech I have ever seen, or ever will see: It was giant, with a heavyset, forward-joint bipedal chassis, a small, light cockpit resembling that of a fighter jet, twin hex-frame machine guns, a rocket launcher on top of the guns, and a giant, round shield, behind which was a massive 100 mm. hex-frame grenade launcher.

The whole front of its torso was shielded with giant, round shields, and the guns were so big, they looked like they could shoot a person out of the barrel.

"Oh... my... god..." I mutter, and Kelias smiles wider, looking quite proud of himself. And why shouldn't he be? He just helped create the single greatest weapon the ponies, no, THE WORLD has ever seen! And now... it was time for a test drive.

"So... is it everything you hoped for?" Kelias asks simply, and I nod, still wide-eyed at the metal giant before me.

"How... How did you manage this...? It's so glorious..." I say, dumbstruck at how a bunch of devils made such a glorious machine in only three days. Kelias, though, just smiles, rubbing his chest with his knuckles.

"That's MY little secret. Now, you wanna drive it, or not?" Kelias asks, and my decision is immediate and obvious:

"Kelias... May I have the keys?" I ask, and Kelias laughs quietly, tossing me a keyring with two noticeable features: a strange, angular key, and a pair of small fuzzy dice. Then, a ladder drops from the catwalk, and it goes up to the H.O.U.N.D, so I then climb the rungs of the metal ladder, and proceed to climb into the open cockpit, which is nice and cool, unlike the rest of The Foundry, and has a black leather recliner seat, a rear-view mirror, also with fuzzy dice attached, and four cup holders. Kelias, you magnificent bastard... I don't dare think further as I stick the geometric key in the ignition, turn it, and hear the awesome machine of war roar to life, and I try out the controls; basically, push wheel forward to walk forward, and turn it to turn the chassis. Each weapon comes with a camera, so aiming is easier, and as I walk out of the box the H.O.U.N.D was held in, a colossal garage door opens up, and I laugh maniacally as I walk the massive machine out of the foundry, leaving giant footprints in my wake. Oh, this beats magic and pocket sand any day, I tell you what.

I walk forward for a while now, trudging along in my massive mech, and I stop as I exit my city boundaries, and I ponder where to go next. I could go to Canterlot, and just end it there... Nah, they'd expect that. Maybe Stalliongrad, like planned..?... No... I'm not prepared yet. I have a hound, but not enough to breach the walls. Suddenly, I remember something important: The ponies had a city called "Las Pegasus", and it was supposedly paved in metal and riches. If I took that in THIS bad boy, who know what else I could accomplish? However, I still had to find out where to go...

"It's west." I hear a girlish voice say from behind me, and I almost jump out of my robes, and I whip around... and there, of course, is Whip, my quiet assistant.

"The fuck?! How did you get in here?!" I ask, and Whip grins slyly, showing her fangs almost menacingly.

"I followed you." She smartly replies, and I groan, facepalming.

"I mean... Oh, never mind..." I say, returning to the wheel, and turning the H.O.U.N.D west. "You said it was west, right?" I ask, and Whip replies:

"Yes. May I ask what you're doing, though?" Whip asks, and I almost stop the H.O.U.N.D to slap her.

"What am I doing?! What are YOU doing, following me? And how did you do it without me knowing?" I ask accusingly, and Whip shrugs, smiling slightly.

"I thought you could use the company." She says, and I groan in annoyance, but ultimately decide that it's not worth raising my blood pressure over, so I let it be.

"You are getting such a beating when we get home..." I growl, and Whip smiles.

"I look forward to it." She retorts, and I stifle a groan as I force the H.O.U.N.D forward. God, this was gonna be a long day. So, as was the norm, I walked my new machine of war westward for several hours, enduring constant backseat driving from my masochistic assistant, Whip. Finally, during a break in the ceaseless chatter, I chewed her out.

"Whip, why are you not at the cave? Don't you have something else to do than bug me?" I ask.

"Not really." Whip replies flatly, yawning afterwards.

"Then go sort papers! I'm trying to destroy a world, here, not keep you entertained. And what's with the attitude? I find your lack of enthusiasm disturbing." I say, squinting my eyes at the bored-looking changeling.

"Just bored, sir. Besides, what's the point of sorting everything? It's just gonna get messy again anyway." Whip says, and let me tell you, this change in attitude is so far beyond drastic, that if I was even a little paranoid, I'd likely suspect an impostor. Hmm... nah. Too obvious.

"Whip, that's kinda pessimistic. What's gotten into you?" I ask, worried that something has happened to my lovable, if somewhat kinky, minion. Last I checked, she was Masochistic, but not pessimistic. Suddenly, I'm reminded of that pooka I met in Virgil's forest, the downer one. Oh, what was her name... Kim-Juan, or something? Eh, I don't care, it's not like I'll ever see her again.

"Nuthin'. Why can't a villain's favorite minion just want to hang out with their boss?" Whip asks, reclining in the back seat of the H.O.U.N.D's cockpit.

"Because 'hanging out' is for slackers! Last I checked, you are the opposite of a slacker. Or, rather, you were." I say, but Whip only yawns, continuing to recline.

"Eh. I'm just helpin' you find your way to Las Pegasus, seeing how you were headed the wrong direction, anyway." Whip says snarkily, not bothering to make eye contact with me. First the slacking, pessimistic attitude, now this? What's happened to my Whip?!

"Maybe she survived to puberty." My inner voice reasons snidely.

"Changelings are born fully developed, you idiot... Aren't they?" I ask, shuddering at the fact that I may have unknowingly fucked a child. Oh, god, if that were the case... Wait, why am I thinking about this?! Curse my ADHD!!!

"Hey, boss, you ok?" Whip asks, startling me.

"I'm not a pedophile!... Oh." I say, jumping, then realizing that it was still only Whip. "Yes, I'm fine, now stop bugging me and go home." I finally reply, focusing back on driving the 'mech.

"Wow, don't be such a bummer. Just pretend I'm not here... that's what a lot of other people do." Whip says, killing my good mood further. I don't ignore her... do I?

"Hmm..." I mutter, now officially not in a good mood. Finally, after several hours of silence, save the steady boom of the mech's feet hitting the ground, and the loud hum of the engine, we get within shooting distance of the city. I see it now, tall buildings, wide streets, and... and army? Royal guards?! CELESTIA!!!

"Unholy construct of Malideus, stop in the name of the law!" one guard says, holding out a strange, oddly shiny sword that crackles with electricity as he holds it up at me. So, I stop, and immediately turn on the external megaphones, just to laugh at them.

"Ha! Good luck stopping me, maggots! If you'll excuse me, I have a city to wreck, and you're kind of in my way." I say, and I push the controls forward, causing my H.O.U.N.D to lurch forth, steadily beating its metal feet into the ground as it trudges forth. However, the guards do not move, and a few unicorns cast a combined spell at my massive walking tank, causing the legs to stop halfway between my starting point and them, by enveloping them in a blue aura. Now still, I sigh, clutching my face. Of COURSE they would find a way to stop me.

"Alright! Mages, shields up! Archers, crossbows on him, now! Do as much damage as you can, before Celestia gets here!" The lead guard shouts, and the mages begin their work, putting a shield around the massive party, and the archers aim their crossbows at the H.O.U.N.D, though they are not sure where to aim, judging by their confused expressions.

"Ugh... I wonder how long until this spell wears off..." I say aloud, and Whip speaks up:

"They only got the legs, right? Just aim the cool weapons at them, and fire." She says, and I rear back, offended by the suggestion.

"What?! And waste precious ammo on lowly infantry?! What are you, casul?!" I ask loudly, causing Whip to jump back, more surprised than actually scared. However, I soon realize that I may have no other choice, as I hear the soft 'chink' of arrows as they bounce off of my H.O.U.N.D, and it quickly becomes annoying.

"Well, unless you do something about these 'lowly infantry', you'd better be prepared to wait for a looong time, which we don't have, on account that Celestia's likely..." Whip goes on, but I cut her off.

"Alright, I get it!" I say, seeing no other option than to waste my ammo I was reserving for the buildings and Celestia on these tools. So, reluctantly aiming the chassis downward, I activate my tier 3 weapon: the grenade launcher. Then, before I destroy the interlopers, I activate witty one-liner mode, and hit them with my dry wit:

"Hey, ponies! Get a tasty lick of my big, fat 'nades!" I shout through the microphone, and I launch three grenades in rapid succession at the party, and the first one explodes on the shield, causing serious strain on the mages, but they do not relent, and they hold the shield. However, the second grenade impacts immediately afterward, and the shields finally give way. Then, I shudder in absolute glee as the third grenade impacts the ground, detonating before the mages can put the shield back up. The whole giant party then explodes, a few ponies being sent flying, intact, but the majority of them are blown into bloody pony-chunks, which proceeded to impact the cockpit's windshield in a shower of gore and bits of hooves and eyeballs. God, why didn't I ask for windshield wipers? Anyway, so, I obliterate the party before me, and all that remains are a few groaning, mortally injured stragglers, and the spell wears off on my legs. So, now I can continue my rampage in relative peace, without... wait, where's Whip?

I look to the back seat after noticing an odd silence and find she's vanished, without so much as a cracked window. Weird. Still, I don't have the energy to care, so I shrug, deciding to interroga- uh, question her later. Right now, I had several months of stress to take out on this city. Activate epic destruction/battle music! As I imagine this theme in my head, humming along to the imaginary beat, I press onward, the H.O.U.N.D's massive feet pounding into the earth with a thunderous din as I move toward the city, and soon, in mere moments, I see citizens flee for their lives as my mech crashes into a building, knocking it down, and I switch to my tier 1 weapons: The dual hex-frame machine guns. I don't hesitate to pull qthe trigger on them, and I laugh as the steady thumps of the guns firing rocks through the H.O.U.N.D, tearing the streets apart, and cutting down anything too slow or too dumb to get out of my way.

"Christ, nothing can possibly ruin this moment right now! I FEEL ALIVE!!!" I shout, laughing as I march through the city, destroying all in my path, as an evil villain should.

Back to Celestia.

I flew as fast as my wings could take me to meet up with my troops, and I tried my best to intercept him with the others. But... I was too late, like always. Now, I'm standing here, in this open field, where the superweapon should have been, but all that remained here were giant, geometric prints, embedded several feet into the ground like massive craters, and the remains of an entire squad of my best troops. I always knew Malideus was a monster, but to create a weapon that could do so much damage in such short notice... It was unthinkable. Every villain we ever faced always at least spared whoever they could, and only damaged the surroundings, not the people. Malideus, however... he didn't care WHO he killed, he only killed, and he did it with glee and prejudice. Soldiers, guards, even civilians, he didn't care, so long as they died to amuse him. And to think Cadence saw ANY good in this horrible, despicable creature... My thoughts are suddenly interrupted, as a lone guard groans, coughing up much blood afterward, as he tries to get up, failing in the process. I rush over to him, and pick him up in my arms to see his face: He's but a young stallion, barely in his twenties, and... both his legs are blown off, likely by the superweapon.

"Ugh... P-Princess... He... We were no match for him..." The guard says, almost automatically. He does not seem to see me, though he knows I'm there, indicating he must have suffered head trauma enough to blind him, at least partially.

"At ease, soldier... you did all you could." I say, trying to comfort the stallion, but he goes into a panic, and grabs at me, hyperventilating. I see nothing but fear in his dim eyes, as he speaks:

"It wasn't enough!!! His machine... It only fired three... things!!! It killed everyone in THREE BUCKING SHOTS!!! The soldiers, the mages... It's no use to stop it, Princess!!! It's... it's no use..." The guard faded out, his eyes closing as he bled out, his sudden panic attack finally killing him. As the guard dropped dead, I let his body down, tears in my eyes as I surveyed the carnage. Indeed, Malideus' machine had killed everyone, leaving broken bodies and bits of my soldiers everywhere in its wake. I began to wonder if even I was any match for such a grandiose machine of death and wreckage...

"No... I can stop it. I have to." I say aloud, to no-one in particular. This thing may be tough, but it's not invincible. I will find this thing, and I will crush it, and I will save whoever's piloting the damned thing for last, and I will squash them myself. Suddenly, a chill runs up my spine as the screams of thousands ring through the air, their cries of dismay and terror emanating from...

"Las Pegasus..." I mutter, realizing where Malideus had intended to strike. Without hesitation, I take off, flying for the city, and as I fly, I see the pillars of smoke rise from miles away, with new ones popping up as skyscrapers fell, toppled by an unseen, yet devastating force. The screams grew in intensity as I near the city, and, at last, I see the horrible weapon myself, with my own two eyes.

"Heavens above... What is THAT?!" I ask myself, hovering as the massive machine continues its rampages, squashing and trampling everything beneath its massive feet, and knocking down skyscrapers with massive fireballs from its head. The machine itself is horrifying and brutal in appearance: It bore two legs, like a pony, but thicker like a minotaur, with only one joint each, it being the knee. Its upper body was irregular, with massive plate-like protrusions coming from its belly and left arm, if it could called an arm: the limb pointed directly upward, and it bore what appeared to be a massive cannon on the top, instead of a normal hand, and it had no right arm, only two more, smaller-looking cannons on the side of its body, and the head, which seemed to be directly under ANOTHER cannon, was elongated, like some kind of round-beaked bird, or a snake, and it had no eyes, just a single, massive plate upon its forehead. Of all the demons in Tartarus, none would compare to the hideousness that was this metal abomination.

I can't believe what I'm seeing. A giant, metal monster is destroying Las Pegasus, and no one can stop it. Not the guards, not the soldiers, and certainly not the police and civilians. Instead, they all flee from the behemoth, only to be crushed or blown to smithereens by the odd cannons the beast wielded. I watch in horror as Citizens are destroyed violently, and those few who oppose it are simply stepped on, like insects. I see a mare, carrying a young filly in her arms, race away from the machine, but it takes quick notice of her, and the two smaller cannons activate at the same time, and bursts of flame shoot from them in rapid succession, but the mare is not burned by them. Instead, the fireballs explode upon the pavement, tearing through the mare, ripping her in half in a violent display of blood and entrails. Then, ignoring the sobbing filly it left behind, the monstrous construct turns its upper body away, and trudges off in search of new victims to wastefully tear to pieces. This... this is wrong. No, BEYOND wrong. This isn't just killing, or war... this is was murder, of a degree unimaginable by anypony, even me.

I can't feel anything anymore. I try to act, to fight the thing, to do SOMETHING, but I can only float to the ground, and fall to my knees. I can't even weep, as this thing eradicates all life in the city, and then proceeds to destroy the city itself, once everypony has fled or died. Never, not since Chrysalis, have I felt so weak, so helpless... So...

"So useless..." I mutter to myself, finishing my own thought. As another skyscraper falls, the monster stands still, then roars something, in a voice that makes my blood boil, and my eyes almost burst into flame: It was the voice... of Malideus himself, piloting the mechanical abomination, and he was TAUNTING me:

"Oh, Celestia! Come on over here, you white-assed freak of nature! I got a new toy that you'll be DYING to play with!" Malideus bellowed, his voice amplified many times to travel over the sound of destruction and death, as he walked among the ruins of the city, shooting anything that moved. I could take no more of this blasphemy. Immediately, I flew up, leaving so quickly, a left a few feathers behind. But that doesn't matter now. Now, my goal is capturing Malideus, and destroying him. No more imprisonment, no more offers. Today, the treacherous, blasphemous mistake of nature dies, and his whole army with him. using my solar power, I conjure my armaments into my outstretched hands, and in a blast of flowing, golden light, they appear: A great, sharp, golden lance, and a massive, round shield of similar coloration. I then fly to his machine, lance ready, and prepare to end this monster, once and for all.

The final battle... has begun.

Author's Notes:

Oh, Christ! I think Ol' Sunbutt's done for, guys. Imagine, if you can, a little goddess of the sun, fighting this monstrosity.

Now give the 'mech legs, and that seems a tad one-sided, won't you agree?

Oh, well, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see. Later, heathens.