I trudged through the forest for hours after that incident, carrying the full weight of an unconscious alicorn on my back. It wasn't the weight that was getting to me, though, it was the forest. I had to trudge through that shit again and again, but at least I now know my way around this damned forest like the back of my hand. So I walk all the way to the cave, and am greeted by my lovely assistants, Mizzy and Whip.

"Hey, Mal. I see you finally got one of them." Mizzy says, then she looks surprised as she sees who it is.

"Yep, I got the big fish this time, bitches. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find a secluded place to hide this broad, so I can interrogate her in private." I say. No, I am NOT going to rape her, I just think that it's awkward torturing people in open spaces, that's why torture chambers were invented. However, Mizzietta still seems surprised.

"I thought we were going to use her horn to summon that demon, like you wanted?" Whip says.

"Yeah, I don't really see how torture fits into this plan." Mizzy notes, and I sigh, and explain:

"Listen, guys, this bitch has put me through hell and back for my entire stay here. I want to pay her back for every fucking minute I have spent stressed, in pain, or in some other uncomfortable scenario. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to find a place where no one can hear her scream." I say, turning to leave the cave, when suddenly, Mizzy stops me.

"Hey, Mal, I think I might have a place she can stay while you exact your revenge on her in this cave." Mizzy says, stopping me. I don't know why, but I like the sound of that. Maybe I'm just used to being around here.

"Well? Where is it?" I ask, looking around. I'm actually surprised that there is any tunnels in this cave, seeing as how it just looked like a single giant room, but I was wrong. As soon as I ask, Mizzy shoves a boulder out of the way, revealing a glowing tunnel with heat blasting out of it. No fucking wonder this cave was so warm, she had her own magma cavern!

"And you're showing me this now?" I ask, and Mizzy smiles.

"Yes. You see, I sealed this cave off because I had no use for it. You, however, have the perfect use for it. Plus, it suits you!" Mizzy says, and I'm inclined to believe her. It was bright inside, and I like heat. The warmer, the better, I say.

"Well, I could use a place like this... but why seal it off with a boulder?" I ask, not amused by the inefficiency of blocking off a perfectly good room.

"I dunno, I just thought I would never use it, so why not? Well, it's yours now, so do what you want with it." Mizzy says, and I drag Twilight's unconscious body inside, and look around. Very volcanic-looking, and very, very hot, though the ground isn't burning, likely due to the magma being really, really far down in the chasms. In short, it's my kind of place. So, realizing I can work with this, I wave Mizzy off, set Twilight down, and begin to wake her up.

"Uhn... Where... am I?" Twilight groans, trying to get up, but then realizing that her hands and hooves are bound.

"What is this!? Wha..? Malideus!" She exclaims, looking up at me.

"Yes?" I ask innocently, trying to make the most of this. God, this is going to be fun.

"Don't act innocent! What are you doing, tying me up? Where are we?" Twilight asks, looking around.

"Welcome... To my lair!" I say in my deepest, scariest voice, but Twilight does not seem impressed.

"Malideus, you have ten seconds to untie me before this gets ugly." Twilight threatens, but I laugh at the foolish attempt to scare me.

"Ha! You have no power, I took it all! Now that you have nothing, I suppose you won't be needing this." I say, grabbing her horn.

"Woah! Hey! Don't do that!" Twilight cries, trying to pull her head away.

"Do what? This?" I say, bending the horn in an effort to break it, and Twilight starts screaming in pain, tears running down her face.

"Stop! Please!" She begs, and I stop.

"Well, it appears I have found your weakness, little one. Shall we do that again?" I ask, and Twilight starts panicking and shaking her head.

"No! Please, just stop!" She pleads, but I just keep laughing as I grip her horn again, and she stares in horror as I start to force it.

"W-why would you do this?" She asks tearfully, and I respond:

"You put me through hell, brat. It's time I returned the favor." I say, but Twilight puts on a brave face, and tries to be a hero.

"You may torture me, Malideus, but I won't tell you anything! You hear me? ANYTHING!" She exclaims, but I just laugh, shocking her.

"You really think that your petty information is what I want?! As soon as I'm done here, I won't need any spies or secret passages, or anything like that! As soon as I have your horn, I'm going to summon something so big, so destructive, that your walls and soldiers will be cast aside like chaff before it!" I explain, and Twilight seems to take exception to this.

"What? You can't just take it! It's not right!" she says, but I pay her no mind.

"Begging won't help you, not anymore." I say, and Twilight seems to be on the verge of crying as I force her horn some more. Then, after one last pull, the horn snaps, and Twilight cries out in pain and shock, then falls to the ground and curls into the fetal position, crying her eyes out. I, however, do not laugh. Instead, I just feel sick to my stomach, like I can't stand to watch this scene; maybe I'm just not ready to torture people on my own yet. However, I never pass up an opportunity to gloat, so I get it over with:

"Aww, don't cry, princess, I'll make sure to put your horn to excellent use." I say, holding the bleeding horn in my hand.

"I hope you burn in a fiery pit of cobras, you bastard!" Twilight screams, blood and tears mixing on her face, giving her a really scary appearance. I really hope she doesn't die here; I already hate ghosts, and I don't want anything like THAT haunting me.

"The cobras would burn too, you dumb bitch." I say, walking out of the cave.

"Where are you going? Don't walk away from me!" Twilight screams, thrashing, and I stop, finally fed up with this. I then turn around, raise my hand, and lift her into the air telekinetically, choking her.

"You have no power over me, and you would be wise to remember that!But if it is your desire to witness the instrument of your demise, then so be it!" I say, dropping her. Then I walk out, dragging the coughing, bleeding alicorn behind me. As soon as I exit the cave, I walk to the circle, Mizzy and Whip in tow, and crush the horn in my hands, so that the pieces can be tossed into the circle.

"Stand back." I say simply, and the two oblige. Then I begin the chant before I toss the crushed horn into the circle:

"Sinoto cimotum nikosos demonica!" I shout, tossing the crushed bits of horn into the circle, which is now glowing red. A second passes, and then the air within the circle begins to crackle with red electricity, and fire and ash launches up from the ground, scorching the ceiling, and then the whole damn circle exploded, sending me flying into Twilight. Let me tell you, it was a rough, painful landing... for her. After the explosion, a cloud of ash remains just floating there, obscuring something. But what? Ooh, I just have to know! Suddenly, the cloud fades, and reveals... a short, red, reptilian creature with a whip-like tail, a bedraggled mane along its back, the horns of a dragon and the posture of a monkey. I had just summoned a devil. Before I could loose my rage upon Whip, who was closest to my pimp-hand, the devil starts coughing from the settling ash, and looks around, finds me, and speaks in some kind of high-pitched, Philadelphian accent.

"What's the big idea, ya bum!? Dragging me outa my pit, at this hour, when I have work in a few hours!? What's tha matter with ya's!?" The devil demands, stomping his feet. Twilight, however, just laughs.

"Some use of my horn, you moron! How is THAT supposed to be the downfall of our civilization!?" She says, laughing until tears come out of her eyes.

"Shut up!" I yell, kicking her This has to be some kind of cruel, cosmic joke. I work my ass off to get all the ingredients, capture Twilight, and go through the stupid ritual, and THIS is what I get!? Before I can exact my full anger, though, the devil eyes Twilight with contempt, and goes off.

"Yeah, listen to the wizard, ya freak! I ain't no dandy-dick demon, but I'm still a charm-breaker, dammit, and I'll still whip ya until you's all kinds a' red, comprende'?" The devil says, and I find myself liking him already. Twilight, however, does not. My partners, in turn, adore him.

"He's so adorable!" Mizzy squees, shrinking down to my height.

"I like his claws..." Whip says, blushing. Immediately, the devil turns to them, and blushes himself, practically drooling, for reasons it shouldn't be too hard to guess.

"Well, you's ladies ain't too bad lookin' yerselves..." he says, and I cough, returning all attention to me. I like the guy, I really do, but I have a problem: I need a demon, not a devil. Demons kill, and devils just... annoy. You see my predicament; he has to go.

"Look, I don't know what I screwed up on to make you appear, but I've got to send you back." I say, but the devil before me harrumphs, as if I offended him.

"Listen, pal, I want to get outa here as bad as you want me out, but you're kinda stuck with me." He says, and my blood pressure spikes a little.

"What!?" I demand, ready to slap someone.

"I said you're stuck with me. You used a pretty powerful reagent to summon me, and that warrants results: I'm stuck here, and you're just gonna have to live with that. You need that in writin' or somethin', genius?" he says, and I give up.

"Ugh... I hate my life..." I say, facepalming. "Alright, well if I'm stuck with you, can I at least know what you're good at?" I ask, not really interested, but hey, why not?

"Well, if you's gots to know, the name's Kelias, and I'm a grade-A charm-breaker, so I can do three things with the best of 'em: sniff out magic, torture people, an' break shit. Ya got anything that needs breakin'?" The devil asks, and I feel a little better about my situation, but still cheated. I wanted a fucking 9-foot demon of death and carnage, not some psychotic magic detector. Still, I've been in worse situations, and made the best out of them. Who's to say this won't turn out even better for me?

"No, I don't have... well, there is one thing you could do..." I say ponderously, and Kelias perks up.

"Well? Spit it out, ya tool!" he says, and I point to Twilight, a wicked, evil idea brewing in my head.

"You see that dumb virgin over there?" I ask, and Twilight takes immediate offense.

"Hey!!! I can hear you, you know!" She says, but I pay her no mind.

"Yeah, I see her. Kinda hard to miss that kind of figure..." Kelias says lustfully, unnerving me, but this is exactly what I was hoping for, so I continue:

"Well, she has defied me one too many times, but I find myself far too busy to torture her myself. You want to be useful? Well, there's your opportunity." I say, and Kelias grins evilly, rubbing his hands.

"Yeah, I can do that... So, like, is that all you need?" He asks, and I smile.

"For now." I say, and Kelias chuckles menacingly, and Twilight gulps.

"W-wait, you can't be serious! Look, if you let me go, I won't go after you ever again! Promise! Please?" Twilight begs, but I ignore her.

"You have your orders, Kelias. Make that bitch squeal like a piglet." I say, and Kelias laughs, cracking his knuckles.

"You know, pal, I usually don't follow my first orders... but I can make an exception here." He says, and Twilight starts panicking.

"Look, I'm sorry for what pinkie did, I shouldn't have locked you down there with her! But you can't be serious about doing this!" She says, and I just laugh as Kelias materializes a whip of fire in his hands, attracting the attention of Whip, and begins to drag the blubbering alicorn off.

"Oh, I am. By the way, I think this devil likes you! Good luck surviving!" I say, ironically quoting her speech when she left me with Pinkie Pie. Like I said, I figured this would turn out better than my original plan. Sure, I don't have a demon, but Twilight is going to suffer immensely, and I finally have someone to keep Whip happy. Plus, devils are notoriously stealthy and destructive, like termites, but for more than wood. So, in a way, I just accomplished something even better than my previous plan. Suddenly, my thoughts are interrupted by Mizzy, who was now right beside me, looking apologetic.

"Sorry you didn't get that Deathdealer like you wanted, Mal..." She says, but I just laugh, catching her off guard.

"Oh, don't be. In a way, I got something even better." I say, smiling as I think of the horrible pain Kelias was probably putting Twilight through.

"Well, as long as you're happy." Mizzy says, patting my shoulder.

"Trust me, Mizzy, I am certainly NOT happy about this: I was just cheated out of a surefire victory over those fetid ponies, but I'm resourceful. I'll survive this blunder, just like I've survived everything else." I say, patting her head.

"Now, be a dear and let me sleep, because I've had a long day, and I feel like tomorrow's just going to be longer." I say, sitting against a wall. I want to sleep, and I do, but I don't sleep well. All night, I feel some kind of dark presence in my dreams searching me, evaluating me, and I don't like it, yet I cannot wake up, like whatever is sizing me up is also keeping me asleep. Finally, after a while, likely around midnight, I wake up, except, well, I'm not really awake. I'm somehow in my own head, in some kind of night-themed antechamber. Stars line the ceiling, dark blue drapes and carpet, the whole nine yards. So here I am, and I see someone at the far end, looking at a window that's displaying...

My memories!? What the hell!? Talk about invasion of privacy! I almost go up and give the interloper a piece of my mind, no pun intended, but I stop dead when I see her: long, dark blue dress, flowing, starry mane... Oh dear god, I'm dealing with Luna herself. Will my bad luck ever end? Anyway, I must have attracted her attention, because she then turns to me, sadness and pity on her face. How dare this wench pity me!? Anyway, she looks at me for a while, then speaks:

"So, you found your way into my domain, Malideus. However, you are too late. I know everything." She says, and I feel a panic attack coming on. I don't know what she's talking about, or even how I got here, but no one looks through my personal biz and gets away with it! NO ONE!!!

"Those memories are mine, witch! I don't know how you got in here, but this is your eviction notice, you pest!" I say, clenching my fists.

"Why must you be like that, Chris? You have no reason to hate us." She says, and I almost go off on her, but I freeze. Did she just use my real name?

"Yes, Chris, I know everything about you, from your birth to your arrival here, and I know who and what you are, and I see what you are going to become if you continue this path." Luna says, and I feel my rage building, and the ground starts to tremble a little.

"You... Know... NOTHING!!!" I yell, lunging at her, but the princess vanishes, appearing right behind me.

"I do know, Chris. I have seen your true face, and , though odd, it is nothing to hide. You are kind and noble at heart, so why be so cruel?" She says, and I get angrier. This princess must not leave with these secrets!

"I am not good, or kind, and I'm not hiding anything! You know too much, princess, and shall not leave with these secrets!" I say, amassing a giant ball of fire, and I launch it at Luna, but she waves it away like an illusion, and walks up to me, placing her hands on my helmet, and pulling it off. I try to get it back, but the helmet vanishes, and I start to feel really insecure.

"You have nothing to hide, Chris. You may think you are evil, but your actions only attract greater threats, ones that pose a risk to your true self." Luna explains to me, and I start to panic.

"I don't... I don't need your pity!" I yell, pushing Luna away. "I don't like you, any of you, especially not you!" I say, but Luna does not relent. Jeez, can't these people figure out that no means no?

"You clearly do not understand your situation. Already, word of your atrocious acts is spreading, and other kingdoms are realizing your potential for destruction. But you are not a weapon, Chris. I know that you had a hard life in your world, but you should not take it out on us. You are not a monster, you are a good being, though you refuse to see it. Release Twilight, undo your work, and we can help you." She says, extending her hand to me. I think about taking it, but I don't want her friendship. I set out to rid my world of this abomination of a show, and I intend to see it done. That in mind, I shove Luna's hand away, and I glare daggers at her.

"No. I don't care who's out for my blood, they'll all scatter when I've burned your cities to the ground! Now, leave the memories here, or I'll put YOU to sleep... permanently!" I say, cracking my knuckles. Luna, though, just sighs, shaking her head.

"You have much to learn, Chris... But I alone can not stop you. Maybe we can speak again, when you have learned the truth. Until then, none will hear of this meeting." Luna says, and before I can react, I wake up in Mizzy's cave, in the waking world. I feel my head, and sigh with relief when I find my helmet is still there. It's official, I can never sleep again for now, but I can once I destroy Luna. I look around as I think this, and see Mizzy on her hoard, but no one else. So, I go into the magma room, to see how the torture is going. When I get there, I see many things, none of which appeal to me: Twilight is hanging by her hands in her underwear, looking much worse for wear, but Kelias is not whipping her, but instead has his attention on Whip, who is tied down and seeming to be enjoying herself immensely as Kelias is pulling the same torture on her as he was supposed to be doing to Twilight. Needless to say, I am not amused.

"And what the hell is this?" I ask, and everything stops, except Twilight, who's unconscious.

"Oh... hello, sir..." Whip says shyly, blushing furiously, while Kelias tries to hide the whip behind his back.

"Kelias, you have three seconds to explain what the hell is going on before I go ballistic." I say, and Kelias clears his throat.

"Well, ya see, Twilight here passed out after givin' me some info, and I end up gettin' bored, and then Whip here comes up, an'..." He says, but I interrupt him.

"I don't care anymore! What was the information?" I ask, and Kelias perks up.

"Well, boss, before the dumb broad passed out, see, she'd muttered somethin' about " HearthsWarmin', or somethin'. Sounds like Christmas to me, by the way she described it, but either way, she said she had to be there to set it up, or it was gonna be a disaster, see?" Kelias says, and I suddenly get a very, evil, cunning, and, pardon my reference, Grinchy idea.

"Well, It is certainly already a shame we have to hold her for such a grand occasion... But wouldn't it just be tragic if someone were to 'accidentally', oh, I don't know... steal it?" I say, getting a brilliant idea.

"I guess so, but I don't see how you's can steal an entire holiday from 'em..." Kelias says, and I just laugh.

"Oh, just leave the planning to me. In the meantime, please untie Whip, I might need her later." I say, and I walk out into the main area of the cave, looking out over the snow-covered forest. I still remembered the... interesting, meeting with Luna as I looked, but I waived the memory off. I was going to be this world's destruction, and no one, not even a goddess, could possibly stop me.

"Time to steal Christmas..." I mutter, thinking about my next course of action.