“Come on, come on…!” Dipper breathed, leading Luna after him in a panic. The gratingly loud wail of police sirens behind them tore at his ears, growing closer and closer. “We’ve got to get out of here, now!”

“Why?” Luna queried, bare feet slapping the pavement rhythmically behind him. “What besieges us? And what in Tartarus is that ghastly noise?”

“Police!” he answered, hurriedly darting down an alleyway. “Come on before they catch you!”

“Why are we fleeing the law?” Luna pried, throwing a glance at the flashing lights over her shoulder before following him out of their view. “Have you committed atrocities against your kind?”

For a brief moment Dippers considered admitting that it was because he had called them, but it made him feel even worse.

“Uh, because…!” he thought quickly, taking a breath and struggling to find an excuse that didn’t paint him in an awful light. “Because of… the magic!”

“Magic?” Luna peered down at him, and didn’t even seem winded. Dipper felt a bit out of shape from that.

“That’s right!” he snapped his fingers. “Most people in this world don’t have magic. So if the long arm o’ the law finds out you have it, things might get sticky. Best to just lay low on that kind of stuff for a while until we can get everything sorted out,” Dipper explained.

It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but Dipper still felt dirty for saying it nonetheless. The estranged princess cupped her chin in two fingers as she lost herself in thought, and nodded after a few moments.

“I understand,” she said a little sadly, only serving to make the boy cringe again. Dipper shook the feeling off, waiting until the noisy sirens had long since passed before finally allowing himself to breath again.

“… Alright,” he spoke up after a little while. “I think we’ll be safe enough if we don’t draw attention to ourselves, Princess.”

“Please, call me Luna.”

“Do you have anywhere to stay, P-Luna?” Dipper asked, and the princess’s hand crept wearily up one of her forearms as if to feel a part of herself that wasn’t really there.

“I am afraid that I am just as lost in this strange world as I have been many others,” she confessed tiredly. “I had all but given up hope when you rescued me from that iron beast.”

“Aw, it was nothing,” Dipper forcibly pretended that he wasn’t blushing and was actually very suave looking despite the glow in his cheeks and ears. “I totally have a place that you could stay for now, if you want.”

NO DIPPER NO STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP STOP STOP STOP-

“Your generosity is graciously accepted, heroic colt,” she smiled warmly at him, which he matched. “I shall remember your hospitality for all time.”

“That’s a long time,” he said jokingly, although the princess did not smile. Dipper coughed into one hand awkwardly. “By the way, I, uh… might have to take care of something first.”

“Well?” Mabel danced eagerly back and forth from one foot to another. “Well well well well well well? Where’s it at, huh? Huh huh huh huh?”

“Uh, yeah…” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, nervously holding their bedroom door in the Mystery Shack just wide enough that his face was revealed. “About your candy…”

“Are you telling me you went all that way and didn’t even get the candy?” his sister gawked at him in a mixture of disbelief and offended shock. “Are you kidding?”

“Well, actually, I kind of did bring something back,” he chuckled anxiously. “Or, uh… someone, rather.”

“… Oh. My. Gosh,” Mabel broke out into a toothy smile that showed off her braces. “Dipper, did you bring back a little lost puppy?”

Dipper opened his mouth and promptly shut it again.

“Eeeey-no, not-not a puppy, exactly…”

“Lemme see, lemme see!” Mabel shoved the door open hard, eliciting a yelp when it smacked him in the nose.

“… Hello,” the revealed Luna greeted her calmly, almost double her height.

“Agh! Stranger danger!” Mabel screeched, almost tripping over herself to get away from the slightly hurt princess.

“Mabel, shh!” Dipper struggled to quiet her whilst gripping his throbbing nose. “Hush, you’ll wake up Grunkle Stan!”

“I do not know what this ‘Grunkle’ you speak of is,” Luna eyed the small room with a hint of disdain. “But it sounds unpleasant.”

“And he smells like old people and beef jerky,” Dipper deadpanned, rubbing his nose.

“I am not acquainted with this ‘beef jerky’ either,” she blinked, all the while Mabel was slowly strolling around her and inspecting the princess with a careful eye. “Is it a form of currency in this world?”

Mabel finally stood still to gape at the little black tiara atop her head.

“Holy acorns you’re an alien princess,” she blurted aloud, looking far more gleeful than she was surprised.

“Alicorn, actually.”

“She’s staying with us for a while,” Dipper explained as he dragged out a couple of spare blankets from their shared closet.

“At least until we have thrown off the ‘long arm of the law,” Luna said with a conspiratorial grin.

“It’s like Grunkle Stan says,” Mabel nodded sagely. “Anything’s legal when there’s no cops around.”

“Mabel, that’s awful advice,” Dipper deadpanned. “Now help me get the blankets, one of us has to sleep on the floor-”

“What in the blue blazes is going on in here?”

Mabel and Dipper nearly had cause to change their pants.

A crankily blinking and withered face peered in from around the corner, glaring drowsily at the trio for a full beat before resting his eyes on the silent princess. The heavy scowl of Stan Pines, the owner and proprietor of the ‘Mystery Shack’ tourist shop seemed neither pleased nor all that attentive.

“Hello,” Luna nodded toward him politely, tiara glinting a little in the light of the hanging bulb. “I am an alienated alicorn princess in search of a new home ever since my kingdom was destroyed in a great calamity.”

“… Yeah that’s great,” Stan turned unblinkingly to the twins. “If your hobo friend takes anything from the fridge she’s either paying for it up front or working it off.”

“Uh… y-yes sir, Grunkle Stan!” Dipper saluted at an odd angle, to which he only grumbled and wandered off. Dipper let out a heavy sigh of relief at long last, thoroughly exhausted.

At long last, Mabel broke the silence.

“… I’m not sleeping on the couch.”