“Well.... here we are.” the black colt muttered awkwardly, leading the way for his welcomed ‘guests’.

Pushing past the swinging doors, Appletini’s held a surprisingly small amount of ponies at this time of hour. Of course there were the occasional few, like the mare whose mane resembles that of toothpaste chatting it up with that mulberry mare that always appeared to be drunk off her ass every hour of the day, but other than that and a hooded figure in the corner, the bar was pretty empty. ‘Oh, thank Luna for this....’

“Well? What are we just standing around for?!” The energetic pink poofball bounced in delight towards the bartender. “Let’s get plastered!~”

“Uh....” You’re not the only one, Crimson. You’re not the only one... “Pinkie, I... never really took you for a drinker to be honest.”

“All ponies drink, silly!~ It’s good for ponies to drink a good amount water everyday! If you couldn’t drink you’d get so hot and tired! And your throat’ll get all dry and sore, and you’re lips would get all chapped and clammy! Don’t you just hate it when that happens? I know I d-”

“Pinkie Pie.” the black coated stallion groaned, squeezing his eyes shut after exhaling on to his hoof. “I meant alcoholic drinking.”

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so?!”

‘...I’m not even sure if she’s at the legal age to drink anymore. At least not mentally, anyway.’

“Actually, to tell you the truth, I’m usually not the kinda pony who does this type of thing!” squealed the beaming mare. “You just looked like you need a drinking buddy is all. And everypony knows I’ll be their buddy for any activity!”

“Pinkie, you don’t have to pressure yourself into this, it’s completely fine.” Crimson tried to reason, despite the fact that he knew it was pointless to argue with these mares by now.

“It’s fine! It’d be a waste if we just trotted all the way here not to drink something, I’m not gonna let you have all the fun, Redsy!~” Pinkie winked, her muzzle glowing even pinker than her mane. “And besides, what are friends for?”

Clearing his throat while sharing equally burning cheeks, Crimson attempted scold the mare in a more adult tone of voice. “I, um... I’m... pretty sure t-they’re not for g-getting w-w-wasted with, that’s for s-sure.” Unfortunately, that plan failed miserably, as you can plainly see for yourself.

“Not specifically of course, but-”

“Um, excuse me, guys, but... can’t we just go in and actually order something already?”

Beyond weirded out at this point, lavender the mare figured now would be a good time to butt in. Throughout the midst of the “conversation”, the two almost completely forgot that the book loving mare - and not to mention the two other ponies, the orange mare absolutely green with envy at the display, and the actual green colt who’s almost constantly adjusting the glasses resting on his muzzle - were still behind them, or even existed for that matter!

“Eheh, sorry about that, Twilight...”

Twilight just shook her head and pushed past the embarrassed colt and the positively perky, peppy, and particularly pink party pony. “Hurry up, you two. Let’s get this started. I still have questions that need answers.”

Crimson trotted up to the bar, tossing the bag of bits on its surface as the barkeeper looked up. “Alright, everypony! Raise your glasses and tilt back your heads! Drink for all your worth, for tonight, drinks are on me!”

From the few other ponies in the bar came lilting, drunken cheers. The hooded figure near the back just stiffened, grumbling incoherently.

Twilight decided on a bottle of Marelot, Pinkie and Crimson getting Afterburners. After taking a sniff at Pinkie’s drink, Applejack decided on a good old family favorite; Buckweiser. Glitch settled for a small bottle of vodka and some water as his drink.

Glitch took advantage of the lull in the conversation. “Now, listen here, Red. I know that you dislike the business, but you’re one of the best. If you don’t come back, and you are somehow able to find a way to live a peaceful life even with Boss on your ass, he’ll just get somepony new to take your place, and make sure he’s even more heartless than you.”

“What about that project the prof. was working on?”

“Pfft. You mean creating Alicorns? It was a preposterous idea in the beginning; and every pony he gave wings to died from hitting the ground harder than is preferable.” Glitch took a drink of his vodka, humming in appreciation. Pinkie looked at his drink pointedly, and he sighed, letting her get a drink.

“Spasiba,” Pinkie said with a contented sigh as she gave the bottle of vodka back to Glitch.

“Of course. Now, back to the Professor... Before he quit, he told me he had a surprise for you, and judging by that “evil” laugh of his, I doubt it’s anything pretty....” The green colt took another swig, a low, contented sigh escaping from his lips. “Just thought that might be something interesting to know.”

“Wait a minute, somepony from your company quit?” Twilight asked with an arch of her brow. “And who exactly would have quit for a reason unlike Crimson’s? Could he be of any use to end all this if we just reaso-”

“Sorry,” the four eyed colt cut in, light reflecting off his rectangular lenses. “but it’s best you don’t make this your business.”

“Not my busine- Crimson is our friend!” the lavender mare shot back, making sure to have put extra emphasis on the last word. “What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t concerned at all and just ignored all of this?!”

Glitch signed, desperately trying to keep his composure. “I see where you’re coming from, but I’d rather not hold the life of more ponies in my hoof at the moment, miss.”

“Twil-”

“Stop yourself right there.” the colt held his green hoof in the air, waiting until it was completely quiet to continue. “Sorry, but I’d rather not know. Hell, just knowing your names would be enough information to make Boss wanna beat the shit out of me to spill, and would probably be enough for him to target you in specific. Excuse me for my language, but at least me not knowing that won’t get me in as much trouble, he knows when I’m lying....”

“.....It’s Twilight Sparkle-”

Glitch simply slammed his drink onto the table.

“DAMMIT! What the hell did I just get done telling you?!” Appearing as though he was at his wit’s end, Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and even Crimson stared at the green colt wide eyed in complete shock. Realizing his error of his actions, Glitch attempted to fix it with “I’m very sorry about that. It’s just I’d rather stay guilt free and alive, thank you very much....”

Nopony else feeling brave enough to break the impending - not to mention awkward - silence, the black colt sighed and felt it was his duty to break it himself. Might as well get it over with, right? And besides, breaking things was his specialty.... right? “If you don’t mind me asking, Glitch, but why didn’t you act like this when Rarity told you her name?”

“Because at the time, I didn’t know you’d make this so difficult to come back. You just had to form ties with these mares, making them just as apart of this as you.” The green colt sighed once again. The others could tell that his tone was getting more and more unsettled by the second. Glitch, the calm, collective one of Crimson’s friends of the past, putting it mildly, was beginning to fall off the deep end. “At least her name isn’t as bad of a name to know about, considering that she’s only a simple fashionista. But now you’ve gotten a mare who’s pretty much Celestia’s daughter caught in between all of this too?! Just... what were you thinking, Red?!”

As the question dawned upon Crimson, the colt could feel his red eyes grow ever the more weighted, as he let out a faint, but sorrowful chuckle. “Heh. I'm not actually too sure myself, to be honest. I know it sounds Lunadamn selfish, but... I guess I'm kinda glad I don't have to go through this alone, y'know?" Crimson took a long pull from his afterburner, a melancholic look in his eyes.

“That's.... a bit strange coming from the guy who always wanted to be alone.” Glitch sighed while working his two hooves up and down each temple, all while managing to keep his glasses over his snout. “I remember the feats you'd perform just to distance yourself from any social interaction whatsoever. Well, at least with “normal” ponies anyway. It was pretty fun watching how you and Storm used to constantly bicker, and hell, even I have to admit that I found it a little bit humorous watching you climb roofs just to stay a "safe distance" away from everypony that tried to introduce themselves.”

“Is this story going somewhere, Glitch?” the black colt growled, face heating up from the constant girly snickers the mares at the table were producing. They were coming out in batches like fresh baked cookies. “Because if it is, hurry the hell up and spit it out it already, if you would be so kind.”

“....My point is that I’m honestly astounded that you’ve managed to not only befriend six mares by yourself -in less than a week for that matter, but also managed to get them roped into this one big catastrophe over you and your problems.” Removing the glasses over his snout and gently placing them on the counter surface, Glitch peered right towards the black colt, somber green eyes delivering a piercingly intensified stare. "What's worse is that these mares now feel the need to fight for those said problems, risking their own lives for yours. Please, do tell, old friend... How did you even manage to pull all of this off exactly?"

Orange hooves cracking over the table's wooden surface clearly signified that enough was enough. "Now listen 'ere, mister!" burned the southern accent of the farm filly. "Obviously ya ain't given' this 'ere friend of yers 'nough credit, tha's fer sure!"

"Oh?" the green colt groaned, directing his baleful glare towards the mare in disgust and other emotions Glitch would rather be without. "I've been acquainted with mister Crimson Rays far longer than I could say about yourself, so exactly what exactly makes you come to such a bold conclusion?"

"How 'bout the simple fact tha' he's made himself six friends all by himself! All o' which actually care fer him dearly an' pray fer his safety! Sure he needed a little push, but tha's what friends are for!"

Glitch could feel his jaw tightening, teeth grating against one another at the thought of the heated argument that would surely ensue, yet doing his best to keep a level head, lest he did something that he'd later regret. "Are you insinuating that I don't care? I wouldn't be going this far for some common mutt that I had no business with, so where do you stand playing yourself off as high and mighty?"

"Why ya little- do y'all not see it in front of yer Celestia damned face?!" Applejack viciously growled, "Crimson's nothin' short of bein' a tad troublesome, 'course, but he's proven to be one o' the most courageous ponies Ah've ever met! He ain't yer buckin' toy fer y'all an' that damn company ya work wit', so quit buckin' actin' like he's yer buckin' property, an' drop it already!"

"Why you..." It had been a long time since an argument could ever get him this pumped. Secretly, he was loving every second of it. Sure she wasn't in Glitch's world of speech, but this mare definitely pulled off one hell of a fight, making the green colt actually feel he had actually been given a challenge, an argument worth remembering. However, the thing that put Glitch in a higher state of euphoria was winning one; he'd wipe that smug smirk off her face caused by his irritated demeanor yet.

Unfortunately, the black colt knew it would come to this, as he proceeded to rest his head against the counter with his hooves clutched over it, letting out a flat out dreadful groan.... Why was he anything worth fighting for?

"You do understand that if I simply "dropped" it, your entire town would be in danger of extinction, correct?"

"Well, 'course Ah do, but-"

"Correct." Placing his glasses back on their rightful throne, Glitch made sure that the next thing to come out of his mouth would take her down hard. "So, tell me. Would you seriously want to put the rest of your friends this predicament as well? Friends who I'm quite certain that you've spent greater amount of time with than Crimson. And not only that, but have their corpses resting on his hooves as well?"

"Ah..."

'Gotcha.'

"....Ya think it'll be tha' easy?"

'What?'

"Sorry ta break it to ya, partner, but us mares 'er a whole lot tougher then y'all make us out to be. Ya may not 'ave known this already, but mah friends an' Ah would die to protect the bonds we share, so if ya just think tha' we'd jus' go out without no fight, than yer shit outta luck."

The silence flowing through the air, Glitch just sat with a blank stare, focusing on nothing in particular other than the uneased piece of his mind. ‘... I... can’t think of anything more to...’

As she observed the told off colt’s infuriated eye spasms, the smirking mare thought she’d let him off with one last piece of her mind.

“An’ by the way, name’s Applejack.”

“Did you completely ignore everything I just-”

“Ooh, ooh! Mine’s Pinkie Pie!” the pink mare joyfully cried out, absolutely oblivious to the sweat dripping down the colt’s green coat.

“...Do you three have a death wish?”

“You see, Glitch,” the lavender mare cut in, eyes half-mast with a confident smile painted over her petite mare muzzle. “we take the friendships we’ve made, the bonds we’ve formed, and the love we all share for each other very seriously. And because of that, we’ve conquered and tamed even the mightiest of foes and the most tragically giant messes. And throughout each and every one of those eventful disasters, we’ve all greatly strengthened our said friendships to even higher levels compared to most ponies. So let your boss try to enforce fear over our simple little town, because we won’t let it faze our true goal; to protect Crimson’s right to live the rest of his life in peace with everything we have!” Twilight pounded the table lightly with a forehoof, her wine glass tipping dangerously.

“....Holy shit.” It took Crimson a good couple of seconds to process it all, but came to a teary eyed conclusion when the sincerity of Twilight’s words ran through his brain. As he began to rub at his eyes before anypony could notice, Crimson shot a glance upon the unsettling sight that was Glitch’s anxiety.

‘Just... simply foolish... but I guess they’re going to have to learn the hard way.’ Releasing the breath he didn’t even know he had held, Glitch muttered something unintelligible to himself he maybe should have left to his thoughts. Well, intelligible to everypony but a certain black furred stallion at least. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned that’s kept me alive this long, it's that it’s not wise to underestimate Boss...”

“Thats it,” Crimson finally piped up, “I call no more unsettling dramatic talk for the rest of the night!” the colt called out, as he lifted of what remained of his afterburner over his head. “I propose a toast; to washing our worries away and enjoying the rest of this fine, beautiful night of Luna’s creation. The night is full of shadows, but let us not dwell in the darkest depths of, ugh, let’s drink!”

Everypony else nodding in agreement, Glitch sighed and figured ‘Why not’ and took hold of his vodka glass and brought it up to the others, filling the bar with a satisfying CLACK. What could possibly go wrong?

*****************************************************************************************************************

“.....can I come down now?”

“I’ve given you the same answer twenty times, now quit asking!”

“Well, I think I’ve been a pretty good boy; I haven’t killed anypony... yet.”

“Exactly. And I would rather keep it that way. Isn’t that so, Big Macintosh?”

“Eeyup.”

“Aww, but Rarity! You know you can’t resis-”

“That is quite enough, Mister Card.”

“Please, I’m at least a duke.”

“Fine. Master Card, I-”

“No, I’m sorry. We only take Equestrian Express.”

An agitated chorus of groans filled the room. Wild Card had to find a way to make the position he was in suck at least a little less. Being tied up wasn’t nearly as fun as he’d pictured it in his head, especially when all of the blood rushing to his head made it feel as if he were about to explode. Oh, did I mention he was hanging upside down from a chandelier? No? Well, I just did. ‘This stupid rope must be enhanced or some shit if the thing can even support me. That lavender one is smarter than she looks. Clever girl! However....’ The brown colt couldn't wipe off the ear-to-ear grin from his face if he tried.

"May I ask what you could possibly find so amusing?" The alluring white unicorn mare was starting to lose her patience - well, what little she still had left anyway.

"Hmhm, would you hold it against me if I said you're absolutely stunning? And I don't just say that to all girls, no sir-y!" Alright, maybe that last part was a stretch, but it's never failed him in the past!

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but flattering will get you nowhere. A true lady doesn't belittle herself by letting others take advantage of her because they shower her with sweet nothings," lectured Rarity, whose tone quickly changed from snooty to sharp with a small huff. "And besides, you're way too dangerous to be trusted without being watched!"

"Aw, come now, doll face!" he pouted, his pseudo puppy eyes at the ready. "Nerdy werdy Gwitchy got to go with emo Cwimsy wimsy when he's just like me! It's nawt fair!"

"Ugh, don't you even start! It's not cute, and it's definitely not going to get you anywhere with me!" Letting out a loud huff, Rarity decided that she had a piece of her mind that the mare would be more than happy to share with this womanizer. "It's colts like you who really make me sick! You think you have the power to control mares alike and take what you want from them anytime you want as if they were nothing more than just your sex toys! Simply disgusting! One of your friends just so happened to have done that very exact thing to one of my best friends; how that brute is so well acknowledged by Celestia herself is completely unheard of."

"Waitaminute, are you talking about Sprinkles?" That caught his attention. ‘Huh. Well that doesn't sound like Celestia's top soldier to me. Not very Storm-ish of him...’

"Yes, in fact, I am! Though Sprinkles isn’t the name I had in mind for him at the moment. What Twilight sees in him I'll never know. But let's not change the subject at hoof." Rarity leaned in until the two were eye-to-eye, making sure that Wild's focus was on nothing more than her. And of course to this, the brown colt made sure to keep his trademark fox faced grin all the way through. "Don't you dare believe for a second that my friends and I would ever fall for those sleazy techniques you use on those other mares! There are only two types of mares that succumb to your advances. There are the weak willed, insecure ones that feel that need to be in the arms a colt to feel safe, not one independent bone in their bodies; the ones who can't stand up tall from their true beauty without a colt like you feeding them sweet nothings twentyfour-seven."

"And the other ones?"

“Well, for no better words, whores - excuse my language. Neither of them worthy of calling themselves a lady. All in all, you're not going anywhere, you pathetic pig!”

"Hahaha, ouch!~ That was a bit harsh, don't you think?" Card smirked. “By the way, did I tell you that you’re a real fox, a true rarity this day and age!”

“Why did I even bother...”

“Just chill out, Rares!” the cyan mare lazily yelled from the sofa, honestly looking as if she’d rather be asleep. Then again, that wouldn’t be all that surprising now, would it? “Don’t stress yourself over that idiot. He couldn’t find his way through a cardboard box let alone understand a word you’re saying to him!”

“Hehe~ That wasn’t very nice.” Through yet another group sigh, nopony even realized what Wild really kept his eyes on. “My cards! I see that after you took them away from me, you stacked them right under me. And I thought you mares were cruel before!~”

“I'll have you know that wasn't my idea! Rainbow Dash felt it necessary to do so.” the white mare sighed.

“Well if she’s trying to kill me, it’s most certainly working!~”

“Celestia dammit, do you ever shut up!” The cyan mare shot herself up. Looks like sleep was going to wait.

“Awww, but where would the fun in that, my little Dashie?” His eyes were to the point of slits, but from what it looked like, his irises appeared to be... glowing?

“....You’re really cruisin’ for a bruisin’ now, ya psychopath.”

“Oh?” the colt chuckled, now red in the face from gravity’s cruel laws. “I appear to have struck a nerve there, eh? Well, what are ya waitin’ for? HIT ME!”

Before anypony could even get a question or a cringe in, a lengthy yellow streak of light flashed through the ropes at a blinding speed, spreading to pieces as the captive colt landed on his hooves with relative ease; his entire body now inflamed with a full on golden aura, the floor beginning to vibrate under the mare’s hooves. The culprit dropped to the floor at Wild’s hooves; a 7 of diamonds.

“Hahahaha!~ Wait, wait, you actually thought you could hold me in those ropes?! I’m the game master around here, my beauties! I call the rules, and those who don’t play, must pay, hahahahooh...” Wild Card slumped to the floor with a slight fwump, causing the shaking to cease, and leaving Rarity and Rainbow Dash at a loss for words at seeing Fluttershy standing behind him with a frying pan in her mouth.

Realizing the others were staring at her, Fluttershy gasped and dropped the frying pan, blushing slightly. The frying pan landed right on Wild Card’s head, in the same spot as before. “O-oops, sorry... You were being really scary...” Fluttershy backed away from Wild Card’s unconscious body while hiding behind her mane. Big Macintosh ambled over and picked up the unconscious colt and tied him with a new rope; the one Twilight had summoned had faded when it broke. Fluttershy looked nervous, and slightly panicked. “D-did I do good? He’s going to be alright, right?”

Rarity sighed, a tight, tired smile adorning her snout as she nuzzled Fluttershy. “Don’t worry about him; he’s got a thick skull. And he did ask for it- quite literally. You did great, Fluttershy!” Fluttershy giggled dubiously, while Rarity giggled good-naturedly. “Come, now; Big Macintosh can take care of him; let’s just get some rest. It’s unladylike enough as it is to be awake at this time of night without a candlelit dinner! We shall see how he is in the morning. Good night, Macintosh.”

“G’night, Miss Rarity. Miss Fluttershy. G’night Miss Dash.”

“I’m not a seasoning, you know.”

“Eeyup.”

Rarity trotted daintily up the steps to Applejack’s room, Rainbow Dash zipping by to take up residence in Crimson’s room. Fluttershy hung back just enough to say one last thing. “Sweet dreams, Master Wild.”

Wild Card’s lips twitched into a smile as he squirmed against his bindings. “MmMnmmI am the game masterrrr....”

*****************************************************************************************************************

“Hey! Bar guy! Come ova ‘ere fer a second!”

“Oh no, not again....”

As the black colt waved his hooves in the air like an idiot (or just like a drunk, really), the bartender stallion was leaking with primordial sweat. If this drunkard was the same one as a couple nights ago, well.... it wouldn’t have been a bad time to write a will-

“Wha’s takin’ so long! I’m thirsty!”

“Ah, s-sorry! Be there in just a sec!”

Though hesitant to say the least, the bartender made his way towards the zany looking mishmash of mares and colts alike, trying to keep a steady enough pace to keep himself from either dropping the beverages or keep that pissy colt from ripping his head off from sheer drunken impatience. He figured either or would have lead to the same result. It wasn't too hard to guess what these colorful characters wanted to be perfectly honest; two extra spicy Afterburners for the Mr and Mrs - though he decided keep his mouth shut on the subject lest he literally be dead wrong, a bottle of Buckweiser for 'southern comfort', a glass of Marelot for the elegant young mistress, and a glass of watered down vodka for Sir adjusts-his-glasses-a lot - another topic he figured wouldn't be smart to bring up either.

“Bout tiem, Celestia dammit!” You could smell the liquor on his breathe from a mile away.

“RRREEEEEEED, be nice!” the intoxicated mare with the pink coat scolded the black colt. “Hehe, don't mind him..." The mare brought her lips to the bartender's ear as she faintly whispered "I think he's just had a teeny tiny bit too much to drink.”

You don't say, Pinkie....

“Hey! Guy. Guy guy guy guy GUY!”

The bartender turned his head to face Crimson, unable to hold in a sigh. “...Yes, si- wait, not sir, I still remember the mental scars from last time I called you that...”

“Haha, an' don ya forget et!” Crimson prided himself, as he dug a hoof into his -though technically Wild's - cloak and brought it up to the bartender, who couldn't help but flinch back and screw his eyelids shut with a emasculate “EEK!!!” flying out of his pubescent sounding vocal chords. Hesitantly opening a single eye, he found that the black colt had a small bag of what looked to be some sort of coin purse.

"Wha-what is this-”

“Wat? I want ya to have dis!" The black colt unsealed the top only by a little, but it looked as if there was over twenty bits in that thing. "Call it makin' up fer teh shit I put ya through.”

“Oh, it's fine, sir, really! I-”

“Jus' take the damn money....”

“....But I don't even-”

“JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE MY BITS!!!”

"Y-yes, of course!!" Without another word, the bartender took hold of the bag of bits in his mouth and scurried off for his life. However, he made one last stop to that eerie, fully cloaked and hooded figure before he would make his way to a corner to curl up in. Jeez, only two Marelots and the guy looked like he was going to fall out of his chair. “Here's your Marelot, Sir. I would suggest that you should slow down, but the last time I did that it didn't.... it wasn't pretty.”

‘...Drink the night away, you arrogant asshat. Mark my words, I’ll....’

And this was the part where the hooded figure realized the bartender was still standing next to him....

“Scram.”

“Oh! Um, y-yes, sir!”

It looked like somepony wasn’t lucky enough for a tip this time.

‘Looks like the idiot’s too drunk to notice me anyway. Maybe now’s my chance....’

Having finished off what looked to be about five of the six shot glasses that used to hold the Afterburners he ordered, Crimson had felt -for lack of a better description from his limited, drunken vocabulary- “more energized than a motherfucker”. Good thing the lavender mare was too busy trying to keep her head together to give out scoldings, and only after two Marelots too. What a lightweight! Applejack on the other hoof looked as though she could take the entire bar on in a drinking contest if she wanted; eight Buckweisers and still going strong, the only sign that she was beginning to falter was her having a tad bit of trouble keeping her balance. It seemed like the mares who could back up their bark with their bite could always drink as if there was no tomorrow.

Pinkie was obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol -and hot sauce- in her system, but it didn't diminish her naturally perky nature any. In fact, it was making her even goofier if that were possible. Glitch seemed to be one of the only ones who could actually form slur-less sentences, but the fact he was close to his limit was apparent in the the way he held a hoof to his head in risk of it slamming against the counter surface. Five glasses of vodka and a Screwdriver - a cocktail that’s vodka mixed with orange juice - will probably do that to a colt.

“Don’t you think it’d be a good idea to calm down on the drinks, Red? It If you don’t slow down things could get....... what’s the word...? Damn, my fuckin’ head- UGLY. Yeah, that’s it.”

Crimson cocked his head at the green colt’s statement, smirk clearly evident on his face. “PSSH!!! Ah know how ta handle mah liquor, ya dork! Who d’ya think yer talkin’ to?”

“That was.... uncalled for, man.” Glitch sighed. He’d expected that kind of behavior from Wild Card of course, not Crimson.

“Ugh, look, A’m sorry fer tha, but you seriously need to lighten up.”

“Heh, funny, that’s usually my line.”

“Alright alright, I get it!” the black colt scratched the back of his scalp with a chuckle. “But c’mon! What could possible go wro-”

With an alarming THUNK, the cloaked black colt found that the end of a steel blade sunk into the wooden surface where his hoof used to be.

To his left was a fully cloaked figure, who didn’t exactly look as though he stabbed his knife into a bar counter on accident.... obviously.

“Sir! That kind of behavior will not be tolerated here in Appletini’s! I’m afraid that we’re going to have to ask you to lea-”

The shadowy figure rotated his head towards the “authoritative” ponies of the bar; only one royal blue eye visible through the stallion’s hood. Sparks of lightning coursed through his iris as if he was some sort of titan that only appeared in gryphon mythology and the more twisted foal’s fairy tales, the ones that made you squirm in your bed when the lights were out.

Bravado melting into their stomach vials as quick it came, the single bartender cowered behind the bar counter faster than you could blink. “C-continue.....”

‘Hahaha. Next time, guys, try getting some bodyguards.’

Crimson reached into his cloak, face quickly changing from ferocity to anguish. ‘Shit! How could I have forgotten to bring any of my weapons?! What am I, a fucking idiot?!’

However, something caught the black colt’s eye as the white hoof released its grip from the impaled dagger’s handle. The insignia on the blue leather handle was undoubtedly familiar; a bright orange sun that usually rested upon the flank of a certain alicorn princess....

“......Storm?”

“Oh, you didn’t think I just forgot about you, did you?” Pulling back the hood with a single hoof, a young unicorn colt with a white coat, flowing mid length white mane with blue lightning streaks running down it, and a crooked smirk was now visible from the neck down. “I sure hope you didn’t forget about lil’ old me, Red.”

“B-but I thought you-”

“Oh, I never left, dumbass.” Storm cut off as he brought back his hoof, his grin widening into a bloodthirsty smile that could even make Wild Card green with envy, “You should really double check next time. Oh wait, there won’t be a next time, will there?!”

Storm’s white hoof was now shrouded with a rosy aura, only centimeters away from connecting to the black stallion’s jawline. He began to turn his head towards everything possible, but his eye quickly caught a lavender unicorn mare standing no more than two feet away from him; an enraged scowl clear as day on her face.

“Miss Twilight Sparkle, what in the pits of Tartarus is the meaning of-”

“Cram it, Storm. We need to talk.”

Feeling his hooves take a leave of absence from the floor, Storm had no choice but to fall behind Twilight as she trotted towards the exit of the bar with a touch of fury in each step, dragging the unicorn colt at a close distance behind her as he flailed his hooves in desperation.

“Don't fret everypony, I've got this!”

“Twilight, what are you-.”

“Settle down, Crimson. I've got'cha covered!.” the mare reassured, replacing her previous scorn with a hearty smile. “You guys enjoy the rest of your night out doing whatever two stupid colts can think of next. I have a bonehead colt that needs some sense smacked into him. Take care!~”

“Um.... Have fun then.”

As the lavender mare made her way through the swinging doors of Appletini's for the last time for the night, the black colt waited for the two to be out of earshot to chuckle “Heh, lightweights in love I'd say. What a lucky little bastard.”

“Quite.” the green colt agreed, his gaze drifting off towards the metallic watch on his right hoof. “Storm doesn't know exactly how lucky he is right now.” As much as he absolutely despised that word, he found it very appropriate for this case.

“And why's that?”

“If I'd intervened a second sooner, well.... let's just say it would have been a pain in the ass to clean up what was left....”

*****************************************************************************************************************

The library’s door flung open, and a white colt was unceremoniously dumped onto the floor with a groan. Twilight trotted in after, shutting and locking the door with a satisfying click. “So, Storm... Whadda ya think yer doin’, ‘tacking the friend of the Princess’ Star Pupil, eh? I might have been pretty useless last time, but I’ve been reading some since then, so I’ve gotten quite a few new tricks stored in my horn.” She stood imperiously before Storm, a smirk plastered on her face, her eyes slightly dilated from being a tad too tipsy.

Storm struggled to right himself, but Twilight simply knocked him back over, pulling magical bonds out of nowhere to hold him down. “Wha... what do you think yer doin, you stupid mare?!” Storm winced, even to him it sounded petty. Twilight just smiled as she wobbled a bit on her hooves.

“I just want some answers, Storm. And... a reason why. A real reason.” She fell to her haunches before him, slumping until she was laying down, her face close to his. She had a tight-lined smile adorning her lips, her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized her captive. Storm felt his stomach bubble with an inkling of worry, and fear.

The only thought he could come up with, was ‘are angry mares always this terrifying?’ The answer, was something he was dreading.

“Hehe~, It might make this easier on both of us y’know, ‘cause yer not going anywhere ‘till ya spill it.” The mare snuggled up closer until her lavender coat was against the colt’s body like glue, affectionately brushing her muzzle against Storm’s burning red one. “Of course, I’m alright with having you all to myself. Mmm, you're so warm....”

“P-please, stop... I’m- you’re drunk. I don’t like this. At all.”

Twilight just leered, pressing her snout into Storm’s mane and snuffling, his musky scent filling her nose as she murred, before hiccuping. Blushing slightly, she withdrew, a snort of laughter escaping.

Storm shuddered, the feeling of the unicorn mare’s breath in his mane was unnerving. “As long as you don’t do anything like that again, I’ll tell you whatever-mmph!”

To Storm, Twilight’s lips tasted of blackberries and grapes, blended and fermented to a delicate age of twenty. Not that he was by any means a connoisseur of fine wines, that was just his favorite. A simple red Marelot to sate your thirst. His thoughts turned to jelly when she started using her tongue.

Twilight broke the kiss, her heart thundering in her chest as it raced off into a sunset ringed by electrified fireworks, her breath coming out in halting gasps and her face twisted into a smile of triumphant ecstasy. “Let’s cut to the chase, then. I. Love. You.” Twilight gave Storm another nuzzle, even though he was still slack jawed with befuddlement. Yes, Twilight’s done her research, folks. She knows her kissin’.

Storm’s eyes came back into focus, drunken rage burning the alcohol from his system, and letting his embarrassment show through upon his burning cheeks. “How could you possibly think that you love me?”

Twilight shushed him with another kiss, this time with him not putting up the slightest resistance. “I love you. I have since I was eighteen. You stole my heart, and it’s only fair to give me yours.” She leaned in for another kiss when she found herself being held at bay by the flat edge of a dagger that was crackling ineffectually. She giggled. “I’m drunk, not stupid. I know about your lightning affinity, so I created a simple grounding spell. Electricity doesn’t affect me anymore, Storm.”

"W-What?! But...." The colt clenched his teeth, his face began to contort into an infuriating scowl. Storm narrowed his eyes at the mare, who kept her confident smirk clear on her snout. "There's no way your magic can actually be stronger than mine! I'm Storm Scratch; Master Lieutenant of the Celestial Army and the divine right hoof of the Sun Princess herself, Celestia!"

As he shot his screams of rage at the lavender mare, the colt brought the cold, razor sharp edge of the blade at her jugular and held it there. However, no sign of fear or terror could be spotted in the mare's demeanor. All Twilight gave him was a half-mast stare from her violet eyes. "You and I both know you wouldn't do it, Storm."

"Wouldn't. What makes you think I won't do it now?" the colt growled, royal blue eyes locked dead on Twilight's with a cold, yet uncertain glare. "That little spell of yours doesn't make your skin hard as a rock, though that still couldn't stop me! I could just easily turn Princess Celestia against you by letting her know you've been harboring The Crimson Shadow under her very eyes..." The magical aura that held the dagger began to waver, as did Storm’s voice. "All I have to do is make one tiny snip, and watch in triumph as you bleed to death...."

"That's not what I meant." the mare said between sighs. "You might find it hard to believe, but.... I can still find traces of the Storm I met those years ago, the one you used to be, when I look at you even now. The same Storm who showered me with such love and affection that beautiful, romantic night under the stars. The Storm I'm still head over hooves for. The Storm I still cry myself to sleep over when you come into my thoughts because my stupid head can't forget about you and let you go...."

Twilight leaned into the blade’s edge, and it fell away, not leaving even so much as a single hair of her coat out of place. She closed her eyes as she brought her lips to his once more, all resistance gone from the colt. When they paused for air, he whispered hoarsely, “Why? Why do you insist on loving me? I only threw you away, like a childhood toy...” Storm closed his eyes, returning the next kiss as best he could, trying to convey to the mare his confusion and emotional turmoil.

Twilight broke the kiss, and ran her muzzle through his mane again, revelling in the thick, bristly touch. “You didn’t throw me away, Storm. You just couldn’t bring yourself to love, when you had conditioned yourself to hate.” Twilight kissed him again, the sweet touch of his tongue on hers as comforting as the stars in the night sky and as warm as a summer breeze. “I’ve studied friendship for two years, ever since I moved to Ponyville. I think it’s about time I got a crash course in love.”

The ropes and chains holding Storm dissolved into nothing, and he opened his forelegs invitingly, letting Twilight lay atop him as he held her close. A tear unbidden rolled down his cheek as his mind left him with one last thought before fading into bliss, and that thought was: ‘Warm. I was cold, but now...’

Twilight’s magic encased the library in a sound barrier, and lowered all the blinds. The rest of the night was going to be private; she only wanted to share it with the colt she had finally caught.

*****************************************************************************************************************

Pinkie and Red slammed their empty shot glasses onto the table at the same time, making a few others buckle and almost fall off. “Ha!” they both gasped. “That hits the spot!”

Applejack finished her shot, choking on it as it burned down her throat. She grabbed Glitch’s glass of water and chugged it down, draining it with a satisfied smack of her lips. Glitch glared at the three of them blearily over his fifth bottle of Vodka. “You three are crazy, yinno that?”

“Eeeeyup! Crazy’s one way ta puddit, heh heh!” Applejack leaned dangerously far to the left before righting herself once again.

“Yeah... crazy’s good.” Pinkie giggles and hiccups as she flails her forelegs to get the barkeeper’s attention.

“I like crazy. I think crazy is great. Me and crazy go waaaaay back, actually. You see, people always thought I was fucking crazy, but that’s not true! We never dated!” Red and Pinkie break into whooping, mad laughter, Applejack snorting and whinnying as tears come to her eyes.

“Well, if I’m crazy, and AJ’s crazy, and you like crazy, then you like us!”

“Shit, Pinkie,” Red said past a fit of giggles. “I love ya both. I love you, Glitch. Hey! Barkeep! I love you! I love that mare over there!”

The mare in question raised a hoof in a drunken wave. “I love you too, man!”

Red laughed again, falling out of his chair. “I love this floor. This table! Sweet Celestia of Equestria, I love everything in the world! If Boss came in here right now, I’d kiss him!”

Pinkie fell over, landing next to Red. “I love you, Red. Like, I love you, man. I. Love. You.” Pinkie rolled over, pressing her face into Red’s as she tried to kiss him before devolving into snorts of laughter.

Pinkie got off the floor, unsteadily rising to her hooves, and started stumbling towards the door. “C’mon, everypony! Le’s get on with it, yeah?” Applejack got up to follow after, muttering under her breath while Red struggled to get up, and Glitch tottered along after.

As he went out the door, Red called to the barkeeper one last “Good-bye!” before tripping over his own hooves. The barkeeper came out of the back room to find a literal pile of golden bits on the table, many of the shot glasses filled with some of them, too. The bar pony shuddered with relief, and started cleaning the table. His new favorite customer had paid a most generous tip.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie, Red, and Applejack all did their best to wave goodbye to Glitch as he ambled on towards the edge of town before they turned and started stumbling into town.

Without really planning to, they ended up outside of Sugarcube Corner, and went inside. The fresh air had cleared the fog in their minds a bit, but they were still drunk enough to not really mind. They had the place to themselves, they soon found, as the Cakes had taken the twins to see their grandparents.

“So... what d’ya’ll wanna do?” Applejack wavered slightly, her entire body swaying from side to side as she tried to stand still.

Pinkie grabbed a couple bottles of rum and a bottle of whiskey stashed in the rafters and tossed the latter to the farm mare. “Here, take a drink! We can play two truths and a liiiie~,” she sang out quite harmoniously for being drunk off her trotter, “we can make a true game of it!”

Red looked confused, his eyes dilating a bit in curiousity. “How ya play that, huh, Pinkie?”

“It’s easy,” Pinkie Pie said as she hoofed Red a bottle of rum. “Somepony tells two truths about themselves, and one lie. Then, we have to guess which is the lie, and we only get one guess! If we don’t guess right, we hafta take a drink!”

Red just shrugged, and Applejack nodded. The game was on.

“A’ight, two truths anna lie, Red. You ferst.”

Red swayed from side to side as he screwed his face into a look of utter concentration.

To Pinkie and Applejack, he looked constipated.

"A'ighty.... mai ferst one. Ahem. ‘I was born to a rich fam’bly, as an only child.’ Secun’. ‘I have no idea what my parents look like.’ Aaaan’ the therd. ‘Ah’m hated by summa my closeshst friendsh.’ Whichen d’you think is the one tha’s a lie?”

AJ and Pinkie both bit their lips; this was a toughy! Pinkie answered first. “Well, I would say the secun’ one’s the lie. How can anypony not remember their parents?!”

Red shook his head, and Pinkie sighed as she took a swill.

Applejack looked at him closely, before looking down at her own drink. “Ah’ll go with th’ first. Th’ therd’s kinda true, since Storm seems ta hate ya, so it’s the only one that makes sensh. Numbah one!”

Pinkie muttered “Nigel’s not here” as Red nodded.

“Tha’s it. My famly weren’t no rich types; Hayseed took the children of the poor off the streets. If I’d been a rich kid, Madame Foster’s would have picked me up. AJ wins, or whatever.”

Applejack grinned. “A’ight. Mah turn. Let’s see....” she hummed, a hoof resting on her chin quizzingly. “Ah got this 'ere Stetson from mah Pa, the only town Ah've ever lived in ish Ponyville, an' Ah’ve always been one fer honesty.”

Pinkie blinked asynchronously, sticking her tongue out cutely as she did so. "Ooh! Ooh, pick me! Pick me! Mememememememe~!"

"Okay," Applejack tried her best to stifle a laugh. "Pinkie Pie, ya'll go first."

Squealing giddily, the pink mare let out a walloping "It's deh secun one! The secun one! Ish tha' right?! Huh?! Huh?!"

"Yes, Pinkie, tha' one! Ah did get this 'ere hat from Pappy, an' Ah wouldn't be no Element of Honesty if Ah ain't one fer honesty o' course! Sure Ah stayed a week er so wit Uncle an' Auntie Orange, so Ah guess tha' counts since Ah packed up ta move there, but home is where yer heart is, an' mine was here in Ponyville at Sweet Apple Acres!" the orange farm mare tipped her hat proudly with a smirk.

The black colt had a minor sign of worry apparent on his face. Red only just met these mares a couple days ago, how was he supposed to beat the two of them when they at this point probably knew everything about each other?

His musings were interrupted when Pinkie sucked in a deep breath. “Alrighty rosey-posey! My three are... oh! ‘I used to be an adventurer’ is my first one! ‘I was once a rock farmer’ is my ne-hic-rsht one! Annnd.... my last one is.... ‘I have never met a pony that I didn’t like!’ That’s all of them!”

Red returned to the present when Pinkie laid back, her head resting against his side as she smiled up at him, her eyes dilating and contracting, her whole body seeming to vibrate in anticipation. He sighed, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “I think you’re pretty adventurous, Pinkie. I think that you probably were a rock farmer, too. You seem to have the head for it.” Pinkie giggled as he gave her a noogie. Leaning his back against the wall, Red looked at the lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, its form distorted by the rum bottle’s color and shape. “I’d have to say... what made you hate this pony, huh?” Applejack took a swig of her whiskey, smacking her lips appreciatively.

“Well, I would think you’d know, silly. The only pony that I don’t think I could ever like is Wild Card! I bet even your boss is okay once you get to know him, right?” She looked up into his eyes, her eyes swimming with emotion at the very thought of a pony that she couldn’t like, even on a fundamental stage.

“Depends on if he’s even a pony, Pinkie." Crimson let out a faint chuckle, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek. "The only thing pony about Boss are his hooves. Other than that..... I've never actually seen him unmasked. His eyes... They resemble that of a dragon's more than they do a equine's."

As he glanced over towards the mares, the colt knew it'd be a good idea to change the subject. "Lookie 'ere, we c’n think 'bout tha' later. We gotta whole week ta think n’ worry, but for now Ah say we quit deh worryin' an' continue teh game!" he smiled deliriously, the slurs returning to Red's voice in a heartbeat, as well as the tension dropping like a ton of bricks.

"Ah reckon yer right, sugercube." the orange mare nodded, an easy smile now plastered across her mildly freckled snout. "An' iffin Ah'm right, it happens to be yer turn!"

"Right!" the black colt smirked. "Now lessie 'ere.... 'Storm an' Ah 'ave fought one-on-one like, hundreds of times, half of those wins being mine, the other his', 'Ah've never been on a date', an' 'before making it ta Ponyville, Ah hadn't eaten or slept fer days.' Guess which one's da lie."

"Oh! Oh! I know!" the perky pony of pink squee'd in delight, her face beaming with a goofy ear-to-ear smile that almost caused the black colt to break out it laughs. "It hash ta be the therd one! I jus' know et!"

"Nope. Sorry, Pinks."

"Wa-hic-it, wha?" Pinkie's smile contorted from a smile to worried frown in just one hiccup, feeling her stomach churn in sympathy as well. "But 'ow could anypony not eat er sleep for more than a day?! That's torture!"

"Well, sometimes poniesh dat do bad tings get punishments, Pinkie. Bu' then again, Ah'm way overdue fer mah'n" Crimson frowned and let out a sigh. He was slowly chipping Pinkie Pie's innocence away, he could feel it.

Giving a frown that almost drooped off her face, the pink mare just responded with "Okie Dokie Lokie.... -hic-.... Hehehehe...-hic-HAHAHAHAHA!" Sorrow now forgotten apparently, Pinkie began a laughing fit at the cause of her own hiccups. Red almost lost it himself after she fell on her back and began flailing her hooves in the air.

"Hehehe, okay, yer turn, Applejack!"

"Hmmm. Ah'm gunna go wit' the ferst one. Sorry, but tha' seems a tad, well, silly."

"Aaaand nope. Sorry, AJ."

"Well... shoot." Applejack scratched at her blonde mane, eyes averted towards the ground. "Why would friends fight wit' each other like that?"

"Don't beat yerself up Applejack, it washn't all that bad. " the colt tried to reassure the orange mare with a smile. "Most o' them were jus' friendly spars, honest! Colts are stupid, no biggie!"

"Heh, Ah kinda figured!" And to that, the three shared a friendly laugh, as both mares had to take a sip from their drinks. However, that just left one answer left, and when the two mares remembered what it was...

Applejack and Pinkie Pie, as one, started choking and sputtering as they fought for air."YOU'VE BEEN ON A DATE?!" the two astonished mares shouted in perfect sync, both sticking their faces a little too close to the colt's for comfort.

"Oi, wha's that supposed ta mean?!" Crimson had to admit, that one kinda stung a bit.

"Hold yer horses there! We didn't mean it ta come off like that, sugercube, honest!" the farm mare apologized on their abrupt behalf. "It's jus' that.... we didn't take y'all fer the dating type is all."

"Well... Ah'm not. Ah'll 'ave ya know tha' I was hired fer it as a spai mission. It was at some fancy restaurant er some shit, I dunno. Anyway, one o' ya go already!" Crimson demanded a bit impatiently, something the colt rarely was. He wanted to stay as far away from the topic of dating as possible, absolutely despising romance -whether it was out of scorn from being an antisocial grump or jealousy was still in debate for the two mares.

"Ah'll go ferst then." Applejack spoke up, keeping quiet to search her mind for her choices, maybe something a little trickier this time. "A'ight, mah ferst one: 'Ah'm the proud owner of a border collie named Winona', ‘Rarity's looks mess wit' mah self esteem at times’, an' last ish tha' Ah absolutely hate wearin' dresses'. One of y'all take yer pick."

The pink mare and the black colt just exchanged glances with a smirk. "You can have dis one, Red."

"Why tank ya, Pinks." the colt then directed his crimson iris' towards a certain panicking farm mare. "Ah'mma 'ave ta go wit' numbah ONE!"

Pinkie couldn't help but facehoof. "Dangit, Red..."

"Wha'd Ah do?!"

Applejack let out a faint chuckle. These two were the polar opposites of each other, so it was bound to lead to some entertaining results. "Sorry, Crimson, but yer wrong on tha' account."

"Waitaminute, ya have a-"

"Eeyup!"

"....Why didn't ya tell meh, Ah love dogs!"

This caught the mares off guard. Neither could say they ever heard him put so much emphasis in 'love' before. "Well Ah'll be! Well why didn't ya just say so, sugercube?"

The colt just let off a shrug. "I 'unno, ya never asked. Heh, Ah love all animals ta be honest, dey're jus' so damn fascinating! Especially canines; fierce, loyal, an' kind. They never judge ya neither, they jus' listen; not to mention that they love so blindly half the time. Ah've always wanted one ta be honest."

"Boy, Fluttershy's gonna be real happy ta hear that!" Applejack smirked. "Winona's usually in the fields playin' wit' the sheep or sleepin' in her doghouse, Ah'd be darn happy ta introduce y'all to her!"

While the two kept up their drunken jibber-jabber, Pinkie Pie couldn't let something slip from her mind. "....Applejack? Why would Rarity lower your self esteem?"

As the black colt took a swig of his bottle, Applejack couldn't contain her heartbreaking sigh. "Jus’ think ‘bout it, sugercube. Rarity's one o' the most gorgeous mares out there. She can make stallions fall on their haunches wit' jus' a simple wink! An' then there's me..." Her eyes then hit the ground, keeping them on anything but the eyes of her peers. "That filthy, gross ol' mare that can't keep the dirt outta her mane."

"Applejack, ya know tha's not true!" the pink mare intervened, on the verge of tears herself. Had her friend always thought like this? Or only recently....

"Pinkie Pie, mah role in Ponyville requires me tah get dirty!" Applejack yelped, squeezing Pinkie with her forelegs. “Ah can't even try make-up an' mane products, they'd never stay on! Ah can't stand them anyways, it's jus' too damn unpractical! Ah probably intimidate most colts by actin' more masculine then they can most o’ the time. While Rarity always looks her best, Ah'm doomed to always look mah worst. It's no wonder Ah'm single-"

"Applejack, shut the hell up! Yer furkin' beautiful fer Luna's sake!"

The orange mare's eyelids shot open in a gasp, not expecting a masculine voice to be the one to say that. Applejack just looked deep into Crimson's eyes until she could finally let out a "W-wha'd ya mean by that?"

"Have ya not looked in a mirror lately?!" Both mares was taken back at this; why was he so full of rage all of a sudden? "Rarity is gorgeous, o' course, but ya don't have ta even try as hard as she does and ya look just as pretty, if not more than Rarity! Ah'm not a big fan of all tha’ flashy pomp -no offense to Rarity an' all, Ah like natural mares like yerself; ah tink mares like yerself look great without make-up. An' because ya have enough pride not ta not accept every hoofout tha' yer given, ya 'ave multiple talents, an' a body like no mare Ah've ever seen before, one that most mares would kill for!" At this point, the two had red all across their muzzles, but Crimson decided to ignore this for once in his life to make a point. "An' besides," the colt smiled, "dis world ish filled wit' nothin' but lies, so it's truely amazing ta see another pony who appreciates honesty as much as Ah do. So quit whining about how awesome ya are, it doesn't suit a strong-willed mare like yerself."

"Ah..." Applejack couldn't bring herself to talk any further before she began rubbing the vast volume of fluids that ran from the corner of her eyes. "Thank ya kindly, sugercube..."

"Anytime. But save the ‘thank you’s; Ah’m jus’ speakin’ mah mind is all. Now pleash stop cryin', Ah really can't stand it when mares do that."

"Hehe, fair 'nuff. Now let's get back on wit' dis game, shall we? Ah believe it was yer turn, Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh, yeah! That's right, my turn," Pinkie replied hoarsly as she finished wiping away her own stray beads of tears out of her eyesight. “Lemmie think.... OH! 'I once had a party wit' a stack o' rocks an' a bucket o' turnips', 'I can eat just about anythin' with -hic- hotsause', an' Mah favoritest color is pink!’

The black colt just gave an unsure look and shrugged. “Applejack, ya can go ferst if ya want.”

“Heh, a’ight then! Ah’m goin’ wit’ the ferst! Tha’s a bit too random, even fer ya’ll, Pinkie Pie.” The mare’s smile faded however when the pink mare shook her head. Applejack’s bottle was close running empty at this point, but she couldn’t be the only one.

“I didn’t wanna do it, really. It was Her fault!”

“Uh... her?” Applejack asked in disbelief, a single brow arched.

“Yes, Her! She’s a pessimist all deh time, an’ she’s always overreacting an’ takin’ tinks too far...” Crimson could tell that she was starting to feel uneasy by how her demeanor completely changed. “She wanted ta make Dashie an’ everypony go away. She’s nothin’ but a big Meanie Mc.... Augh!” Coming to a blank, Pinkie buried her face in her hooves and exhaled her pent up frustration.

“It’s fine, Pinkie.” sighed the tipsy black colt, resting a hoof on the exasperated mare’s shoulder. “She won’t come out while Ah’m around, Ah’ll maek shure of it!” The two exchanged smiles, which seemed to work wonders when even the Element of Laughter lost her touch every now and then. But was Pinkie really overstressing herself, or maybe.... ‘Who is Pinkamena Diane Pie anyway...’

“Reeeed, it’s yer turn!~” the pink mare sung, snapping the colt clear out of his blurry thoughts to contribute his guess.

“Ish it... teh therd one?”

“Eeyup yup yup, I don’t ‘ave a favorite, silly!~ I love all of them; purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, pink, but...” she paused. “If I had ta choose jus’ one, I’d pick red!~”

The same color was apparent on the black colt’s snout. “A’ighty, mah turn now! Mah ferst one, 'Ah've been paid ta act as a bouncer before at clubs an' bars', nesht ish...” His mind slipped back to the last time he’d been around a certain filly. “...'Ah used to plant a kiss on Star Bright's forehead every night before bed',” his voice hitched as he said it, and he needed to swallow a few times before the knot was gone enough to speak again. “An'... and lasht ish 'Ah hold no ties towards anypony in the organization from mah hitcolt days'. Take yer pick ferst, AJ.”

Applejack lifted a hoof up to her bottom lip, a hum escaping every so often. "A'ight..... Ah'ma go wit' the ferst one. It don't sound quite right in mah opinion."

"Heh, incorrect, madam," chuckled Crimson yet again, his smirk ever growing. "I've been a bouncer multiple timsh at many clubs. Ah was even hired at one of little Vinny's clubs, not that she knew or anytin’. If dere's one ting Ah have wit' meh at all timsh, it's stories." The colt prided himself as he watched the grumbly mare take a swig from her bottle. "A'ight, Pinks, yer up!"

"Woohoo!!!" exclaimed the pink poofball, as she began to teeter while staring at her forehooves, as if literally weighing her only two options against each other. "Hmm.... I say.... the therd one!"

"Aaand Pinkie Pie takes the cake!" the colt smiled, pointing a hoof at the drooling pink mare, who was licking her lips as her mind wandered off into a wonderland of frosting coated pastries. "Ah can't exactly say I never had ties wit’ dem. Those group of bastards were one o' deh only tings Ah could almost call a fam'bly at the tiem. Though it was a really fukkin' dysfunctional one, Ah can tell ya that. An’ the secun one wit’ Star....”

Ducking his head as he turned away, Red began furiously rubbing at the corners of his eyes with his hoof to keep the mares from seeing his face through his hanging, crimson striped bangs. “I never missed a single night. Not even our last one.... I’d sing ‘er a li’l lullaby, no matter what. Ah’d just sing to her, and then, I’d... I’d give her a li’l kiss on the forehead, sweet as you like, jus’ like she said her father’d dunnit.” He took a long pull from his rum, shaking his head afterwards and sniffing. “Is’ th’ least I could do, a’course, since Wild Card dun killed ‘im. Dammit, she was a downright sweet li’l thing, always so optumistic. Never saw the shadows, only th’ light that shaped ‘em.” He drained the rest of his rum, before clearing his throat and closing his eyes. “Goodnight, Star Bright. Rest in dreams away from fright. I hope you find peace when you awake, tomorrow at the hour of daybreak. I sing to you, my little Star, for my love has never stretched so far. So sleep tight, Star Bright, in dreams away from fright. In the morning you will rise, and you will never, ever leave my sight.”

He raised the bottle to his mouth again, before remembering it was empty. Tears ran down his face, and his breathing came in shuddering gasps. Pinkie was the first to throw her forelegs around him, but only through sheer speed. The two mares held him close, their own tears mixing together as they laid their heads across his chest.

Absent-mindedly, he nuzzled both of them, causing them to look up. Upon doing so, their foreheads were met with the tingling feeling of his lips, for only the briefest of seconds each. Afterwards, Red slumped back against the wall, a small smile threatening to break through the tears. “Don’t die.”

The two mares perked up their ears, not hearing what was said so softly. “Don’t die,” Red whispered again. “Please, don’t die. I loved Star. I.. I loved her with all my heart. Please... don’t die.” The two mares planted their muzzles on either side of his face, giving him twin kisses, before they wrapped their forelegs around him once again.

“Don’t worry, Red,” Pinkie said quietly as she ran her snout through his mane. “We won’t die. I Pinkie Pie Promise. Cross my heart...” She leaned back, her eyes twinkling as she did so. “Hope to fly...” She brought her head closer again, so she could look him fully in the eyes. “Stick a cupcake,” she said breathily as she pressed her nose against Red’s, her eyes slowly closing. “In my eye...” she finished the intonation with a kiss, her tongue slowly dancing around Crimson’s as his eyes shot wide with panic. As the kiss went on, however, his eyes softened and rolled back to make sure his frontal lobe was still working properly. It had nothing to do with what Pinkie was doing with her tongue. Nothing to do with that.

After Pinkie broke the kiss, she blushed and nuzzled his chest, holding him closer as she sighed happily, a soft murring noise coming from her chest. Applejack raised up and met the still befuddled Crimson’s lips, taking full advantage of his hanging jaw as she lassoed his tongue with hers, and had a slow dance in their joined mouths. Red’s mind raced as he flared his nostrils, trying to suck in more air as he panicked. Crimson’s mind started running again, still a bit uneasily from the alcohol and the kisses, but enough to get his forelegs up shakily and break the kiss. Applejack let herself be pushed away, her cheeks rosy as she smiled wide. "Sorry, hon. Ah jus' had to get tha' off mah chest."

"....................................................." Crimson just worked his jaw like a fish out of water, his mental processes not giving him the power of speech.

"Crimson? Ya okay there, partner?"

"Yoo-hoo?! Reeeed~! You in there?!"

Even as a pink hoof waved across the colt's now entirely red, slack-jawed face, Crimson didn't move a muscle. He searched his brain for words, but he might as well have been swimming in a twenty foot pool of jelly. The black colt felt as if he would lose consciousness at any minute, his scorching hot blush was even visible on the tips of his ears; his face even more red than the juiciest Red Delicious apple, warmer than a freshly baked pie that had just came out of the oven. As he swore his heart was going to bust out of his chest, Red could still feel the tingling warmth of the mares' previous contact from their lips on his own. 'So.... soft.....'

The red faced Pinkie Pie let out a small giggle, eyes only half open as she dreamily stared into the black colt's blank ones. "C'mon, silly!~ We aren't that good of kissers! Haven't you ever kissed anypony on the lips before?"

“....No.” The colt cleared his throat and did his best to control his blush, even through his drunken state. “The only time I’ve ever even really kissed was once, Vinny kissed me on the cheek when I had gotten a bad scrape, and every night with Star, on the forehead, and... the kiss she gave me, on the cheek...” The assassin, the feared Crimson Shadow, the scourge of Equestria, started sobbing. Not moaning. Not wailing. He just cried.

Pinkie nuzzled him, giving him small, brief kisses on his cheek whenever her mouth was by it. “It’s okay, Red... We’ll take good care of you, won’t we, AJ?” Applejack reached over and grabbed Pinkie Pie, giving her a wet, slobbery kiss on the cheek before nuzzling Red.

“Ayep! I reckon we can handle this’n.”

Crimson’s consciousness slipped away, his heart feeling as if it were aflame, his emotions raw, but everything perfect and warm.

Oh, there was also two mares lying on top of him.

*****************************************************************************************************************

“Fuuuuck, my head...”

Mane still leaking from the excess shower water every now and then, the dark green colt trotted over towards the wooden workbench where his trademark glasses peacefully rested, the light green Capricorn mark with thin white outlines resting proudly on both sides of his exposed flank. Slipping the lenses over his snout, Glitch took in and admired the ‘touching up’ he had done to the hidden cave he and his dimwitted counterpart were residing in for the meantime.

In less than full day’s time, the mad mechanic managed to construct two mattresses of the wool from a pack of traveling Ovis aries (or sheep for the not-so-brainy types) that were “kind” enough to shave off some of their fluffy fur coats; a refrigerator/freezer combo he had plugged into a one hundred percent magical power generator he had built off spare parts of his other inventions; a weapons stand hanging against the rocky cave wall from several nails screwed into the sides; and a tub/shower combo, secluded I might add, that he managed to connect to Ponyville’s main water supply pipe to “borrow” a tad of their water, hence where he just came from. What? Just because it was a cave doesn’t mean he couldn’t give it a homely appearance..... even though they probably wouldn’t be staying long enough to appreciate its uses.

'I can see why Red used to take so many showers. Helps to ease this Luna forsaken hangover. And those mares.... Was Wild actually right about something for once-'

Train of thought cut short by a high pitched BEEEP BEEEP, Glitch shot his emerald eyes towards the culprit of the constant ringing; his metallic watch powered by gemstones lit a light green throughout every ring over a well carved wooden workbench.

‘Hello, may I ask who is calling at such an hour?’ the green colt answered, placing a hoof over it's cold surface as if fusing with its being. ‘....Oh, good to hear from you, Boss sir.... It's a tad difficult at the moment. Crimson isn't letting up at the moment, though he can most likely still be swayed, don't worry....’

Eyelids trapped shut, Glitch could still feel the bead of sweat roll down his temple side. ‘..... Well, I'm not sure how well that might might work out, sir- no no, I'm not trying to argue here, it's just that-..... I guess I'll just have to take the precautions. I'm sorry, I will take the precautions. Have a wonderful night's rest, Boss.’

Just as he lifted his hoof, canceling his connection to the tool to hit the hay himself -for what little of the night there was left at least, the green colt stopped dead in his tracks and sighed. Another call...

‘Hello, may I ask who’s- OH! Fret not, my dear, the weapons shall arrive momentarily, I swear on my life.... I apologize sincerely, I have yet to mark any sign of either of them. Lieutenant Scratch must still be tracking Re- er.... The Crimson Shadow.... Yes, you too, Princess Celestia.’

As he disconnected the call, Glitch groggily dragged his half awake corpse of a body onto a mattress and slid his eyes to a close. It was times like these that this 'double agent' gig could be, a lack of better words in his exhausted, sleep deprived brain, a real bitch.....