Nigel awoke, his eyes blinking rapidly as they adjusted to the bright light above him. He shifted, his arms disturbing what seemed like piles of paper around him. He rose from the pillows, the make-shift sheets constructed of magazines falling off his armoured body to join their fellows on the bed. Nigel looked around the room; the other soldiers were sitting around chatting to each other over cups of tea and coffee and checking their weapons. Two Corporals were hurriedly cramming as many bottles of booze as they could into the crate that had held the charges they had used the other night. Nigel considered telling them to stop, but he figured that as the commanding officer he could expect a ‘Donation’ when they returned to the Hive as a thank you.

Nigel looked at the window at the ravaged Military District, only a few fires left smouldering. Pony Pegasi were manovering rainclouds over the areas still on fire, a fact that did not surprise Nigel as the humans already had been informed of the Pegasi ability to touch clouds.

He turned to gaze out of the other window, the one facing the castle. The area around the fallen tower was swarming with ponies, a large amount of fallen masonry had already been cleared, and Nigel raised the golden telescope still clutched in his hand from the night before to his eye to receive a better view. He gazed over multiple workers all assisting in the clean-up, a few guards patrolling the area and must amusingly of all the small purple unicorn from the attack on the hive was sitting next to a huge pile of ruined books bawling her eyes out.

‘Serves you right, I hope your crying because those books crushed your mother or something’

Leaving the sight of the distressed pony, Nigel moved his view towards what was once the throne room window just in time to spot a very irate Princess Celestia apparently yelling at a group of scared pony guards. The Princess appeared to have suffered some wounds; small cuts on her face that Nigel figured were caused by glass shards, possibly from the throne room window when the bombs went off.

‘Well’ he thought as he zoomed in towards her face, her expression indicating that she was absolutely livid ‘I did tell her to not stand too close to windows’

While he was watching the amusing scene the horse known as Princess Luna entered the room with a note held in her energy field.

‘Ah,’ thought Nigel ‘seems like they got my note, now we play the waiting game’. Nigel settled back onto the bed, brushing many of the magazines onto the floor before closing his eyes.

________________________________________________________________________________________

“Over Two Hundred dead, almost every armoury destroyed and the entire Military area wiped out, what was it that you morons were doing!?”

The guard officers flinched at Princess Celestia’s outburst, the six ponies in the room the ones in charge of the city watch. The Princess had summoned them to discuss how their sentries failed to spot any signs of intruders, the guard caught completely un-aware when the Explosions happened. It was too early for a cause to be found but the Princess was positive that the humans were responsible, considering that they had already proven themselves competent in the field of explosive weaponry.

“Princess Celestia” the oldest guard began with his voice clear and un-wavering as he responded to his ruler “with all due respect I believe that we are outclassed here if it was the humans who caused the detonations. While we haven’t found any evidence of external factors, I think that judging by the previous tactics we have observed regarding the humans’ method of warfare it is entirely likely that they somehow orchestrated the explosions, possibly by using timed bombs like some of the modern copper mines are”

Celesta’s anger had subsided as the guard continued, and she made a mental note to commend him, the officer seemingly the only pony in the room that was capable enough to perform under stress, the other five officers still shaking in their armour. Celestia gestured for the old officer to continue

“This ‘Poseidon’ character appears to be an enigma, your highness, from your own account he appeared to possess the maturity of a foal, yet the creatures under his command have so far eluded capture whilst wreaking massive havoc upon our forces, indicating a high level of command skill. From what we have gathered from those who witnessed his actions at the first engagement at the Changeling Hive some of our Physiatrists have all deduced that he seems to thrive on attention, and possibly this need could be a major driving force behind his actions. If he and his soldiers were behind the bombs, Princess then” the officer took a breath “I believe that it is entirely likely that they are still in the city somewhere, based on my theory that a creature such as him couldn’t stand not being able to watch the chaos he brings.”

To say Celestia was impressed was an understatement; this officer was clearly a cut above the rest. Just as she was about to inform the Guard of this Luna entered the room, a piece of parchment in her magic and a bald spot on her forehead. Luna was incredibly pale, her legs were trembling and her mane had lost its starry texture leaving it hanging limp.

“Luna, what happened, are you alright?” Celestia cried, fearful for her sister. Luna simply stared at Celestia, shook her head and levitated over the parchment she was holding over towards her sister, The top of the parchment had a spot where it had appeared to have been glued to Luna’s forehead, blue hairs stuck to the paper. This was soon forgotten as Celestia read the note, the written contents much more shocking

********************************************************************************************

“Dear Equestrian Princesses,

As you have no doubt noticed, your city is on fire.

While this is certainly a tragedy, I hope that it teaches you one thing.

Don’t

Fuck

With

Me.

I admit, I am currently enjoying this whole back-and-forth thing we’ve got going, but it’s starting to get a little stale, and do you know why?

Your pathetic, I mean, I’m not even trying right now it’s that bloody easy so I’m going to preoccupy myself with creating a list of why you and your country sucks

1. Your military fight like a bunch of drunken toddlers with loaded diapers and are so poorly equipped it almost makes me want to somehow vomit up my own eyeballs. Your soldiers are armoured in GOLD for fuck’s sake, whoever decided that that was a good idea is a moron.

2. Your super-weapon sucks, I mean, a rainbow? A FRIKKEN RAINBOW!? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE? IT DIDN’T EVEN SCORCH THE GROUND IT WAS THAT PANSY!

3. Your porn sucks, the centre-pieces didn’t do anything for me, really killed my night.

4. Your Buildings, “Hey guys” some bright spark must have said “Let’s build everything out of flammable materials and then have an in-adequate fire service” cause you know, that’s a great idea.

5. The fact that you sic'd a group of Teenage Girls on me, not cool.

6. Every. Single. Fucking. City. Name.

7. You don’t have a Disco ball in your castle.

8. Corporal Stevens.

9. Those half-bird, half lion things. I ate half of one thinking it was like chicken and it wasn’t, tasted more like Himalayan Yak.

10. Last of all, while the Nocturne Ponies look pretty cool and have armour which actually looks half decent they are far too easy to embarrass. All I had to do was mention the sexy-times and her Wings went straight up, was fucking hilarious. Also Zarkrof says hi and he would love to ‘Examine you for science and the good of the UIP’ (We all know what that sick bastard really means, don’t we?)

Now that that’s over we can get to the main point.

As you are aware, most of your military power just got wiped off of the face of this planet and I highly doubt that your so-called ‘allies’ are going to come to your aid again, considering the fact that the majority of those armies they sent you are either captured or dead. We have achieved this with only a small amount of us as well as that one Changeling, (Buzz I believe, he still mopes around the hive with only half a tail) while suffering no losses.

Based on these simple facts, I think that your best chance of survival is surrender, and if you’re willing to discuss terms

I will be overjoyed to meet with you at that farming place, ‘Appleoosa’ I believe it was called five days from now at midday. You both can come if you want to, and I’ll even let you bring up to twenty guards each (If you have any left), hell, if you feel like it those six teenagers can tag along as well, maybe we can ‘drop some fully sick beats yo’ or just ‘frizzle in the snizzle with the dizzle’ and all of that hip junk.

Just to remind you, turning up is completely voluntary and I TOTALLY WON’T start to execute captives if you don’t.

Also if you don’t turn up I hope you get stuck in mud and die of exposure, you dried up hags.

Love,

The Guy Who Wrote This Letter

XOXOXO

P.S
Luna, you look adorable when you’re asleep, especially when your hind leg does a little kick when you’re dreaming, I should know, I sat in your room and watched you for hours that night, nearly gave you a hug right then and there.

********************************************************************************************

Celestia stood in the middle of the room frozen with her jaw agape, unable to process coherent thought.

The officers in the room looked between the two broken rulers, unsure as to what to do. The old Guard, Major Observation thought of a solution and headed straight towards the Kitchens. He returned five minutes later with a large chocolate cake suspended in his magical field. While the other officers looked on in alarm he swung the cake into Celestia’s face, the overwhelming scent of chocolate waking the Princess from her daze.

“Who, What, Watching Luna Sleep?” Celestia mumbled as she jolted back to reality, pausing to lick a large amount of frosting from her muzzle before looking over towards the Major

“If it was any other flavour you would be currently on your way to the Dungeons Major, but considering the circumstances I feel that a thank you is in order”

“It was no problem Princess; it appeared to be the only way to revive you from your awful state” the Major responded, saluting

“I do have to admit, this… Disturbing letter may have had a terrible effect on me, and that effect must have been doubled with my sister.”

Everypony in the room turned towards Princess Luna, the Midnight Alicorn still standing on the spot. Celestia walked over to her sister and put a wing across her back

“Come on Luna; let’s get you back to bed”

“NO!” the royal voice rang out through the throne room “WE HATH NO DESIRE TO RETURN TO OUR CHAMBERS! WE WILL SLUMBER IN YOURS INSTEAD!”

Celestia sighed, she hoped that this would not last for long

“It’s okay Luna, I’ll make sure that there are guards posted in YOUR chambers and you can rest there.”

Luna looked up at Celestia with Large pleading eyes, causing Celestia to sigh

“Fine, you can sleep in my room today, but today only, is that clear?”

Luna nodded her head at her sister’s terms

“Good” Celestia continued as she began to walk with Luna out of the room “I have a feeling that we both will need a lot of rest for the days to come.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Nigel lowered the telescope, laughing loudly when the pony guard had caked Celestia in the face. His letter had obviously served its intended function and his message had been clearly received. He holstered the telescope and got off the bed, taking a final swig of cider before throwing the half-empty bottle out of the window. The other wraiths were already to leave, climbing gear out and ready for their escape, climbing down the mountain side their chosen method of escape.

“Alright Men, parties over so let’s get moving” Nigel glanced at the map popping up in his HUD, Appleoosa marked with a waypoint

“We got a date”

As the soldiers left the building via the window, leaving the trashed room behind Nigel stopped, withdrawing a five-thousand-credit money chip from his suit and tossing it on the bed, hoping it would be enough to cover the cleaning costs, before joining his troops on the outside of the building, preparing to rappel down into a street full of ponies.