After a long and much needed nap I finally wake up. Shadow is still nestled against me, so I decide to stay here a bit longer. I saw Luna in my dream, the real Luna that is. Though I was dreaming of being human, so I guess I get to really surprise her when she gets here. I'm sure things will end...

Maybe I should save those thoughts for when I'm not laying with my daughter. Yeah, good idea. Okay, different thoughts then... I have to pee. After some careful maneuvering I slip out from bed and head into the bathroom. Okay, have to pee... can't really aim it though. Well... hmm.. I'll just sit down I guess? Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Fuck it, I'll just take a shower. I move into the shower and turn the valve... I hate hooves.

With no better option, and the need to pee clouding my mind, I bite the valve and awkwardly turn it. The pipes groan a water begins to pour out from the shower head. With that covered I relax and-

"FUCK!" I yell at the top of my lungs as I jump out of the water. Why is it so fucking cold? It's practically ice now! What the fuck?

"Dad?" Shadow asks as she steps into the room. We both freeze and stare at each other... wait, she's staring at something else. I follow her gaze and- "In the shower, really? That's... disgusting Dad." She says as she begins to gag.

"Why are you still in here, get out!" I say as I cover myself, instantly regretting it.

"Why couldn't... you use... *gag* the toilet?" She asks between gags as she backs herself into the door.

"Out!" I yell, getting her to run. Once she's gone I sigh in relief and stop covering myself. Well... at least I'm already in the shower.

After figuring out how to use the other valves and washing up I finally get out of the shower and dry myself off. I'll probably need to talk with Shadow about what she saw... or didn't see. I guess sheaths are a good thing. *sigh* I really need to work on locking doors. After tying a bed sheet around myself I head downstairs and-

"SURPRISE PARTY!"

"FUCK!" I yell as I try to run away, instantly tripping over myself. The Spartans, the girls- young and old- all of the Terradisians as well as several other acquaintances of mine surround me and start chanting surprise party. "No... no....NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I can't believe he passed out." Damian snickers as we lay him on the couch. I chuckle as well as I pull the sheet off of him.

"Yeah, but why did we do this again?" I ask him, getting him to roll his eyes as if the answer was obvious.

"To punish him for making us believe he was dead. Duh. That, and now I owe Dusty Scrolls five bits."

"Who?"

"Don't worry about it. Now, let's get this party started."

Ah man... I just had the worst dream terror of my life. Everyone was laughing, I was forced to be at a party, I had flashed my daughter. Awful. Just awful. Surely my friends aren't that evil. With a bit of a stretch I open my eyes and-

"AH!" I yell as I grab hold of the couch. Mingling, snacks, music, dancing, fuck! My friends are evil! I glance down suddenly and immediately cover myself. "WHO TOOK MY SHEET!"

"Miles, welcome back to the land of the living!" Damian says as he walks over to me.

"Damian! What the fuck is going on? Why are you all here? WHERE IS MY BED SHEET!" I yell at him, getting him to laugh.

"We hid it. Now you have to walk around in the buff. As for the party- oh, sorry. Was I not suppose to say party? I know you don't like the word party. Here, I'll stop saying party, because you hate parties-"

PUNCH

"... worth it." Damian says from the ground. I stand up and begin to move around the room, keeping my backside to the wall.

"MILES!" Twilight says as she runs over to me.

"Hey Twilight- DON'T HUG, DON'T HUG, NAKED!" I yell as she hugs me. I quickly push her away and back up against the wall. Twilight gives me an odd look before shrugging it off.

"Sorry, you must not be taking this well, being a pony and all." She says as she leans over and examines me a bit more. "Huh, odd that it would ponify your cutie mark-"

"Can you not stare at my ass?" I ask as I sit down, breaking her gaze.

"Sorry. Are you going to be alright Miles?"

"Yeah... maybe... probably not. Look, this is a little too much right now. I can barely run without tripping over myself. Can you please get everyone to leave-"

"No can do, Captain." Rainbow says as she walks over with Scootaloo on her back. "We'll only leave once you tell us what happened. How did you do this? Is it permanent? We have questions and we want answers."

"Alright, I'll give you guys your answers if you promise to leave afterwards. Deal?"

"Deal. I'll get everypony in the living room." She says before running off. I sigh in annoyance. I'd rather do this another time, but if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Before we start I try to find my bed sheet, but with no luck at all. I tried to prolong the talk, but Twilight simply lifted me into place with her magic. This is going to be a long talk.

I start the conversation going over what happen. From my waking up to my discussion with Celestia and ending here. Twilight told me that I couldn't simply deny my kingship, but I assured her that I had a plan for that. From there I simply answered their questions, most of which I had already asked myself. Is this permanent? Will I still have power problems? Why had the Elements attached themselves to me as a necklace? At the end of this I simply sat down and rubbed the bridge of my nose... face?

"Anything else?" I ask, getting a silent response. "Good, now if you please I must speak with the Spartans in private." They look to one another before leaving, saying their goodbyes and telling me their joys for having me back. It was good to hear them happy to have me. Once they were gone I turn my attention to the Spartans, tapping a hoof slowly.

"So-"

"Give me a status update on what the Regiment has been up to for the past months as well as world events."

*Silence*

"Really? What the fuck have you all been doing?"

"Hey! I've been busy, it's just been Statera business. I doubt you want to hear that boring stuff." Damian points out, getting a nod from me.

"Good point-"

"So am I off the hook?" He asks, full of hope.

"Fuck no. Especially after... this. Now, as for the rest of you. Just because I was gone does not mean you get to fucking slack off!" I yell as I march around them.

"We haven't been slacking off! We've only been back for a day now! Sir!"

"And what do you have to show for it?! Look at all of you, stuck on a cruise ship for two months and you've gone soft! Your resolve has grown weak. Your respect has dwindled and you may as well kiss that killer instinct goodbye. This is a professional military, and you will hold yourselves to that standard! This is not acceptable! This is a fucking disgrace! LOOK AT ME WHEN I FUCKING TALK TO YOU, NIGHT FURY!" I yell as I get in his face. He mumbles something and lazily looks back up to me. "WANT TO REPEAT THAT?!"

"Sir, with all due respect, if somepony were to challenge-"

"You challenging me?" I ask as I step back from him. He looks back to the others before stepping forward.

"I challenge you for the rights of Grand Captain of the Spartan Regiment by rights of blade." The others gawk at him, completely caught off guard by his challenge.

"As standing Captain, I accept. Outside, two minutes. Be ready." I leave the living room and begin to head upstairs, having Damian and Storm follow me closely.

"Dude, he's going to kick your ass." Damian says as we enter my room.

"Thanks Damian, great pep talk." I say as I grab Susurrans claymore. After all these years I finally get to know what this does.

"Miles, can you even swing a sword?" Storm asks me, making me scoff.

"Are you two serious? I can still fight you know-"

"As a pony?" Damian asks, making me doubt myself. "Look, maybe we can-"

"No. He challenged me, so I now have to face him or death. You know the rules." They look to each other before nodding slowly. I try to walk out with the sword, but find it odd to walk with three limbs. With no better option, I bite the handle and drag it along with me.

I wait for Miles to leave the room before asking Damian, "Okay, so do we let him fight or do we help him somehow?"

"If we help him, he's just going to get mad. I say we let him fight and kill Night Fury after he wins. Well, you kill him. I don't want to be Captain."

"Okay... let's go already then."

I step out into the front yard and find Night Fury talking with True Will, Dust Devil and Big Mac. Dust looks as if she's about to have a heart attack while Mac and Will have their normal unbiased gaze on. Night Fury turns to me and steps forward, rearing up and drawing his two axes.

"Till death or submission. And let that be that." I say as I rear up... and fall back. Okay, that's harder than it looks.

"Agreed." He says with a slight chuckle as I get back on my feet... hooves. I take my sword and hold it with both my hooves as tightly as possible. This is going to be hard, really fucking hard. I have far too many handicaps working against me for this. I'll need to be smart if I want to come out on top.

He charges forward and takes wide swings at me with his blades. I scramble back and fall over, barely avoid the attack. He charges forward again and tries to bring one of his blades down on me, but I raise my sword and block the attack. A wake of concussive air hits me, but my arm stays up. It doesn't even budge. That should have hit with tremendous force, but instead it felt... weak. Far too weak for his weapons enchantment in addition to his armor and his normal ability.

I shake my head and swing my leg under him, getting him to fall over. Before he hits the ground he flies back and gains his footing again, giving me a chance to get back up. He flies forward, trying to knock me back down by using both blades at the same time. I block the attack with my sword, finding it far too easy to hold against. I quickly notice a small flicker of light forming at the base of my blade. I don't get a chance to examine it though, because Night Fury doubles his attack.

He pushes forward as he wildly brings down his blades. I shuffle back and move with the blows, blocking each one. The blade is light and moves easily. His attacks aren't fazing me in the slightest, letting me keep my footing. He's forgetting his training and putting too much into his attack, trying to overpower me. All I need to do is wait and take my time. I can hold out far longer than him, I just need an opening... THERE!

BOOM

I stand there, completely shocked, as Night Fury flies back and tumbles over. Easily ten meters away. How in the fuck did I manage to do that in one blow? I didn't even put that much into it. He gets back onto his hooves and shakes off the attack before circling around me. I hold my claymore up and turn with him, waiting patiently for his attack.

"Come on Miles, you got this!" Dust Devil cheers from the side.

"Miles! Don't die! I don't want to follow his dumb ass! Only your dumb ass can lead!" Damian adds, making me shake my head. Great moral support.

"Eeyup." ... I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask when we both finally come to a stop.

"The leader of this regiment needs to be strong and able. You could barely walk, so I thought new leadership was needed." He says as he eyes the area around me, finally taking his surroundings into account.

"And I'm sure you had the regiments best interest at heart," I say, making him scoff. "I can assure you that I am completely able to lead."

"Prove it." He says as he drops his blades and holds up his hooves. I nod to him and stick the blade of my claymore into the ground before stepping forward.

"AH COME ON! Just stab the bitch!" Damian yells, earning a smack upside the head from Storm. I ignore him and get my mind into the fight. I need act, not to think. Thinking has made me seem weak, so just act. My body will follow through, just go for it.

I push forward and jab at Night, getting him to dodge left. I move forward and continue trying to connect a jab, forcing him to back away. He suddenly jumps up and tries to bring his back hoof across my jaw, but I drop back to dodge the attack. I bring myself up and hold my arms together to block a flurry of kicks from him. When he brings his wings in to drop down, I jab forward and connect with his armored gut. Another quick jab connects with the side of his head, where I hold on.

Using all of my strength, I bring him around and slam him on the ground below me. Before he could react, I begin assaulting his head, delivering blow after blow with as much force as I could muster. When he starts to cover his face, I pull one of his legs back and begin to hit critical points, breaking it quickly. One final swing jabs him in the throat, stopping him from screaming. I allow him to gag on his tongue for a moment before pressing a hand to his throat, closing his airway.

"Tap out and I'll let you live." I tell him as I start adding my weight. He tries to get out from under me, but is quickly losing the fight. "I'll give you till the count of three. One, two-"

TAP

"Hmm, thought so." I say as I push off of him. Dust Devil moves to help him, but stops when I hold a hoof out to her. "Let him learn his lesson and suffer. Now, as for the rest of you. Daily regiments will be put in place to get you all back in proper order... Storm, put your fucking hoof down."

"Sir, this is important." He says as he steps forward. "Big Mac and myself are entering maternity leave-"

"I'm making a Call. Until further notice, you we are all on high alert and will not be leaving for any distractions-"

"But-"

"Am I to assume you are arguing with me, Lieutenant?" I ask as I step towards him.

"SIR NO SIR!" He yells as he snaps at attention.

"I'm back, and that means we have a world to fix. We are the Spartan regiment, and we will bring order to this land! AM I CLEAR?"

"SIR YES SIR!" They all yell in unison.

"Good, first order of business. We're heading back to New Garnet to have some... diplomatic discussions with the remaining Unfamiliar. You are all to head to gather your materials and meet back here in twenty four hours. AND BE GRATEFUL THAT I'M GIVING YOU THAT TIME TO PREPARE!"

"THANK YOU SIR!" They all yell again.

"DISMISSED!" They all turn and run off in their own direction. I sigh as I turn back and walk inside. I didn't want to be such a dick, but if one of them openly question my ability to lead, then they all have had those thoughts. And those kind of thoughts can be dangerous. Until then, I'll have to ride them pretty hard until I can trust them again.

.........................................................................................................................................................

I sigh in relief as I set hoof in Equestria. It's good to be back home. I begin to briskly walk down the dirt path as Regina runs up beside me, panting heavily.

"WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" She asks me.

"What?"

"YOU CRASHED A BLIMP!" She yells, practically jumping on place. I roll my eyes and continue on, determined to get home.

"Please, I only pushed us along to get here faster-"

"Noooooo! You pushed us into a hill and destroyed that blimp! It was goblin made! That's not cheap! And what about the fire!?"

"I put it out-"

"No you didn't! You just made a larger fire!" She yells before feeling the burnt feathers on her head.

"I just made a larger fire to put out the smaller fire. No harm done." I say as I check my surroundings. Maybe another mile and I should be able to teleport to the mico platform in Canterlot.

"I swear Luna, I don't like you when you get hormonal. Things get burned." She says as she takes to the air to lazily glide along with me. "Whatever, the sooner we get teleported to Canterlot the better-"

"About that." I say as I slow down, getting an uneasy look from her. "Um... I need a favor-"

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"But.., he's been gone for two months!"

"NO!"

"Come on, when the last time you've got cock?" She shakes her head in bewilderment from my question. Blinking a few times as she tries to think of a response.

"Uh... are you really going to let me and Miles-"

"WHAT?! NO! That's my man! I was just going to point out how often you get it and how pent up I've been! Pleeeeeeease Regina! What do you want, just ask and its yours! Come on, I need this alone time."

"Nnnnnnngh FINE! But you owe me big time! Making me, your best friend, walk all the way to Canterlot! I can't clucking believe how good a friend I am-"

"Thank you so much Regina, you're the best!" I say as I hug her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go before I change my mind. I swear, if there's one thing I hate, it's walking." She grumbles as I set her down and begin to run down the path. "YOU OWE ME BIG TIME FOR THIS LUNA! DON'T YOU FORGET THAT!"

"I KNOW! THANKS AGAIN!" I yell as I charge my horn. Pushing my magic a bit, I teleport all the way to the back of the mountain side. I pause for a moment when I think back to Tia. I should really have a word with her... but I guess it can wait. I run around the mountain top and head down into our secret cave, where I teleport to the closet.

I step into the main closet part and hear his voice behind the door. Like a filly excited for hearths warming eve presents I throw the door open and...

"Luna!"

"No."

SLAM

........................................................................................................................................................

Okay, TB told me not to mess around with having everypony in my head. Just have to play it cool, roll with the punches. At least now I finally get to know what happens in this part of the story-

Pinkie.... why? Why you do this?

What? OOOOOOOOOOOO, inner monologue thing made it in huh... oh well. HAI PEEPS! Can't wait to get started Solar! Anyway, I'm at Sugar Cube corner... really TB?

What?

Putting me there? Kind of cliche, don't you think?

You live and work there. Where else would you be?

Wanna let me have a whack at it? I think they'll like it more.

No.

Why not?!

Because you'll either A: go get tacos with Deadpool, or B: spoil things for another story somehow.

No I wont! I totally have a plan C!

Pinkie...

Please please please please you missed some commas please please please please Reckless fix that please please please please please please it's getting really bad please please please please-

FINE! DO IT YOUR WAY! GOSH!

Okie Dokie Lokie! If you say so! I hop my way down the road to Carousel Boutique. Rarity and I were having a fun conversation when Miles had his little break down, so I wanted to see if she wanted to finish it up. See? Completely better.

Pinkie...

I mean, if we just had a party at Miles' place, why would I go back to work? I would have scheduled the day off.

Pinkie...

Not to mention the Cakes would probably want to have their 'alone' time. I mean, he only-

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME!

But he-

NO!

Then she-

NONONONONONONONO Stop before I send a plague of doom!

Sheesh, party pooper... pfft-

PINKIE!

I open the door and skip inside, finding it completely empty. Odd, I surely thought she would have been here.

"RAAAAARITY? Are ya home?" I ask as I skip around the room. I pass a mirror and see my reflection, making me giggle a bit. I move back to it and begin to make funny faces. I blink before each face to give it that extra kick. I'm sure the twins will-

"Hello Pinkie Pie."

"GAH!" I yell when my reflection turns into Discord. "YOU! What are you doing here Mr. Stinkerton! I thought we turned you to stone!"

"It would seem I got better." He says as he slithers away, disappearing completely.

"Well, whatever you want you can't have it! Fluttershy-"

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not after Fluttershy this time." He says from behind. I turn around and see him walking around as one of the mannequins, dressed in a patch-worked suit.

"Then... what is it you want?" I ask as I begin to back away from him. My hoof hits something and I fall over. When I open my eyes, the only thing I can see is Discords face. The world around me begins to crumble as his eyes begin to flash different colors.

"When laughing only makes you sad, sometimes you need to get mad."

"N-no! Laughing is, wait? Mad as in angry?" I ask, making everything suddenly go back to normal.

"Um... yes."

"Okie dokie lokie! NOOOO! NO! STOP IT!" I yell as the world returns to chaos.

"When laughing only makes you sad, sometimes you need to get mad."

"St... stop... I... won't do... I won't..."

"When laughing only makes you sad, sometimes you need to get mad."

"When laughing only makes you sad, sometimes you need to get mad."

"Good little pony, now.... have a nice day."

SNAP

"Pinkie darling, what are you doing on the ground?" Rarity asks me. I look around and sit up, trying to think back. I was talking to TB, making him mad about something.... oh yeah!

"Sorry Rarity, I guess I just came here by accident. I was suppose to go get some tacos, bye! LA-la LA LA-laa!" I say as I begin to... whoa. Twitchy eye, itchy hoof, wiggly spine. That's a new one. I wonder what it means.

Shout out to RecklessRush for picking who Discord visited next! Just a side note, don't forget to join me on Wednesday for some gaming fun!

Brony on!