Ponyville

A quant but cheery little town much like every little town that peppered the countryside of Equestria, filled with ponies that loved their neighbors and helped even the worst-looking stranger that came into their town.

What set the little town apart from all of its brothers and sisters was that, unlike most towns whose founders had the sense that god gave a rock; Ponyville was a neighbor of the Everfree.  Why Ponyville had been put so close to the dangerous forest was debated among the younger of the town’s ponies for many, many years, the young colts and fillies coming up with numerous theories on the subject, most of them wrong.

If you carefully read over the land rights that Princess Celestia had given the Apple clan all of those years ago you’d see that the land they were given was closer to Trottingham than to the forest. When she was asked why and the hay the Apples had lost direction so badly, Granny Smith would give the offending pony the stink-eye.

“Now ya listen here, Young’un,” she would always say, “We Apples are farmers, not one of them fancy navigators. We had no idea where we was a-going and setting up near the ol’Everfree seemed like a grand ol’ idea at the time.

Who did what or who stayed where is only the concern of the occasional history nowadays, not for a practical pony of Ponyville, who couldn’t care less why the location of the town was where it was, just that they lived in it.

That and that living in Ponyville was as dangerous as all hell.

You see, though they were neighbors of the hostile Everfree, the citizens of Ponyville had lived very normal, peaceful lifestyles, the word being had. Now the once peaceful town had crisis after crisis, ranging from parasprites to a god of chaos coming in and throwing everyponies lives for a loop.

But like most creatures when faced with change, the ponies adapted to their new, crazy lives, so much so that when Fluttershy walked into a town with a Manticore trailing her nopony even blinked.

This is a metaphor of course, the ponies did actually blink, but not in the ‘I’m gonna jump down a well to save myself’ kind of blink.

Sure they were mildly scared and a little bit of a push would of set off a panic riot, but it would have been far less than the average Equestrian would have done if they had seen a big monster walk into their town.

Where the usual pony would take one look at the monster screaming and running away, all the townsfolk did was send word to Ponyville’s local scaredy-cats, the flower sisters, telling them that there was a monster in town so they could panic in the comfort of their own homes, and sigh, thinking over why Fluttershy had brought a Manticore into town.

The beast in question looked at ease amongst ponies, so at ease that it almost looked bored as Fluttershy fiddled with her sweatshirt and talked to the creature.

“So you don’t think he’ll be mad?” She asked Bob, looking up at the Manticore’s back to see a still knocked-out Phil slung over his back.

“Rawr Rawr,” The Manticore answered, keeping an eye on the local townsfolk, who, though they kept their distance, really didn’t look too concerned about a Manticore walking about their town.

The Pegasus whimpered slightly at that. “I just don’t want him to be angry at me,” she practically whispered.

The Manticore looked down at the pony with sympathy. “Rawr,” he said soothingly, calming her fears of Phil’s wrath; the human was, after all, not one to hold a grudge, even with one who thoroughly whipped his ass.

Wither or not this was because Phil was just that kind of guy or because he had the mind set of ‘if they knocked me out once then they wouldn’t have any problems about doing it again’ could not be asked because of him being out cold.

Fluttershy looked back at Bob with a weak smile, trying not to look at Phil. “I-I’ll apologize to him after we get him to Twilight’s,” her eyes widened as she brought her hands to her face. “Twilight! She’s not going to like this…”

…

Twilight was not having a great day, in fact her day had been pretty awful and it wasn’t even twelve o’clock but, since it was a Thursday that wasn’t too unexpected. Twilight, though a scientific mare by heart and one who usually wouldn’t believe a superstition as far as she could throw it, still held onto the very firm belief that Thursday was a cursed day for her.

Nightmare moon came back on a Thursday, Trixie brought the Ursa Minor into town on a Thursday, and she could have gone on and on about the unluckiness and just all around cursedness that was her usual Thursday, but she didn’t have time to do that at the moment, because as of now she had cleaning to do.  

She had spent the whole morning looking for a dress shirt that was clean but she had found out that Spike picked today, today to do the laundry, so she was stuck wearing dirty clothes until he was finished. Her assistant had also forgotten to clean the house today, so she also had, in her OCD mind at least, a dirty house. Did she mention that she also had a very bad headache, and that she had to greet an alien today?

So there she was, running around her house, trying not to panic…. Okay, trying to at least not completely lose her mind while she ran around cleaning every nook, cranny, cranny-nook, and even nooky-cranny in her house.

“Spike! Is the laundry done yet?!” The alicorn roared as she used a quick spell to sort out her books for the tenth time that day, the little purple dragon scrambling around like a foot-soldier would for his general.

“They’ll be done in five minutes, Twi!” Spike called, waddling around as fast as his little legs could carry him, sorely wishing that he hadn’t forgotten to clean up.

“Five minutes?  FIVE MINUTES?!” Twilight cried, her eye twitching, “I’m about to be the ambassador for all pony-kind, I’m about to meet an alien species who’s technology we probably can’t even comprehend. WE MIGHT NOT HAVE FIVE MINUTES!!!”

The young dragon couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the display. “Twilight,” he said as calmly as he could as he balanced himself on a stool while cleaning everything within reach with both of his claws and tail  . “This guy has spent Celestia knows how long living in the Everfree forest, the EVERFREE FOREST, he’s probably not going to care that our house is a little dirty, or that you have a coffee stain on your shirt… Drama queen”

The alicorn looked down at her assistant, hyperventilating before a look from the dragon made her sit down. “Your right, Spike,” she finally said with a sigh, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. “It’s just-”

Knock knock

The two jumped at the noise, Spike humming to himself, “Hum, someponies at the door, I wonder who-” The dragon would have said more if Twilight hadn’t bowled him off his stool to get to the door.

“It’s the alien! She mumbled/screamed to herself, straightening her tie and fixing her hair. “Calm down Twilight, calm down. You’re just going to have contact with an alien, no pressure, there’s probably no way that you’ll accidentally offend him and start an inter-dimensional war. Nope, no way, no pressure at all.”

With shaky hand she grasped the doorknob, and, with a ruffling of her feathers to calm and steel herself, she opened the door…

To see a nervous Fluttershy standing at her doorway. “Oh, h-hello, Twilight,” She said as Twilight sighed in relief.

“Oh thank Celestia it’s just you, Fluttershy, I thought it was,” the alicorn stopped, narrowing her eyes at the Pegasus, who wilted under her gaze. “Wait a second; weren’t you the one that needed to get the alien and bring him here?”

She then noticed the giant Manticore behind her, the beast looking around with a look of boredom. “There’s the Manticore, but where’s…” She then saw what looked to be a hairless and shirtless pony slung over the beasts back, obviously out cold.

Fluttershy watched in mild dread as Twilight turned her twitching toward her. “Fluttershy, tell me that’s just a pony that you happened to find unconscious on the road and not the alien?” Fluttershy’s squeak was all the response she needed as she felt her spirits drop and her panic really start to set in.

Before she could have her little mental breakdown Bob reached over his shoulder and gently picked up the unconscious Phil from his back, presenting him to the alicorn, who looked at the human with concern.

“Rawr, rawr rawr rawr,” he simply said to Fluttershy, breaking her out of her stupor.

“You’re right, Bob,” She quietly said, “he’s probably going to need his head looked at,” she then turned toward Twilight. “Um, Twilight? Could you please use your magic to carry Phil inside? Bob can’t get through the door and he says Phil’s a lot heavier than he looks… I mean, if you want to that is.”

Twilight mentally facepalmed, Of course, I can panic about having ‘Phil’ knocked out at my doorstep later, right now I need to see if he’s okay. Stay calm, Twilight, maybe it was just a silly accident, she thought as her horn glowed, gently plucking the human out of the Manticore’s grasp.

Looking him over with a critical eye she muttered to herself, “Hum, he looks like he couldn’t weigh more than a hundred and forty pounds,” She levitated Phil into her house and onto her couch, which creaked slightly under the human’s weight. “But he has to be at least two hundred and fifty pounds. Is it because his kind’s density is more than ponies? Look at how small his eyes are; I wonder if he sees the same lightwaves as us. Or does he-”

Though Fluttershy didn’t want to interrupt her friend’s ramblings, her worry for the human overcame her politeness. “Um, Twilight, he still needs-”

The alicorn ignored her as she closely inspected Phil, first opening his mouth and grinning nerdly as she peered inside. “Hum, it looks like he’s an omnivore,” she teetered excitingly, “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I took a few samples while he slept, maybe run a few-”

Everyone on the room froze as they heard a threatening growl, Twilight turning around to see Bob glaring at her.

“Of course, I should get my first-aid kit to see if he’s alright first,” she said after clearing her throat nervously, “Spike could you get me our first-aid kit?”

The dragon, who had been gawking at the alien creature before him, blinked before saluting, “Right on it!” he said, waddling upstairs as Bob gave the alicorn one final glare before laying down and closing his eyes, ready for a well-deserved mid-morning nap, content that the ponies probably wouldn’t try anything funny.

Back inside the tree house there was an awkward silence between Fluttershy and Twilight as the alicorn tried to catch her eye. I wonder what happened, did the alien fall? I mean, it’s not like Fluttershy knocked him out or anything, she thought as she knelt down and carefully touched the ugly bruise on the humans jaw, wincing at the small trickle of dried blood running down his chin.

“Humm,” she muttered, “It looks like whatever hit him knocked him right in the Mental Foramen, if his kind are anything like us that is, so he should be fine. All he’ll have when he wakes up is a nasty headache… Oh, thank you Spike.”

Fluttershy watched as her friend as she tried to open the small metal box with a red-cross on it. “Um, Twilight?” She all but whispered, “Do you, um, need any help at all?”

Twilight looked over at her and smiled. “No I think I got it, Flutters, I- Oh, horseapples!” The mare cursed as the box flew open, all of the medical supplies flying everywhere. “Darn it, I’m trying to fix him up and look at what I do, almost kill him with scissors, “she muttered, using her magic to collect everything except a small alcohol patch and the scissors.

Cutting the packet open she didn’t notice the human slowly opening his eyes…

Oh sweet teddy bear juggling Jesus, my head, Phil mentally groaned as he opened his eyes, purple invading his vision. Slowly blinking Phil took in the odd creature standing over him.

It looked strangely human, with what looked to be purplish fur covering everything he could see. Taking a look at the long black hair with the stripe in it Phil could only guess that whatever this was was a female.

Look how big her eyes are, the human thought as he looked over her carefully, noticing that she also had a horn and what looked like a pair of wings. Looking downward he saw that she was wearing a white dress shirt with a purple tie that matched her coat and a simple black skirt to finish off her outfit. All-in-all she just looked like a big-eyed purple/lavender human who also happened to have a horn on her forehead and wings on her back.

Phil couldn’t help but narrow his eyes as he continued to look. Huh, look at that, she has a stain on her shirt, must be a slob, he quietly whimpered, touching is sore head tenderly. What the heck happened? There was my and Bob and then an angry pair of eyes and-

During his self-contemplation it really never occurred to Phil the gravity of his situation. There he was, in the room with multiple alien life forms, two of which could have passed as humans in the right light. It was a room that any human Scientists worth his salt would have killed to be in and there was Phil, wondering why Twilight had a stain on her shirt and where Bob had gone to.

That is until he saw the scissors in the alien/inter-dimensional beings hand.

Freezing up, Phil’s mind raced. Oh, shit, she’s one of those pony thingy’s Bob told me about! She’s gonna cut me up for science! He tried to control his breathing as he thought out his situation. Come on, Phil your just overreacting. Bob said-

Phil took a quick look and saw those eyes, those teal eyes he saw before he saw black. Phil whimpered as the eyes turned to gaze upon him, their gaze showing surprise, not anger, but that didn’t matter to the human, only the fear that he felt as Fluttershy squeaked, alerting Twilight to the now awake Phil.

The princess, not noticing the human was now slightly shaking, gave him her best smile. “Oh hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle,” she began, backing up a little to give him some space. “You must be-”

“Our hero’s going to get cut up by the aliens!” The announcer boomed, freezing the human in place.

As Phil’s mind went blank from fear he did what any good human did when his flight response was screaming in his ear, look for an escape route. Then he saw them, a set of stairs. Stairs meant an upstairs and an upstairs meant windows and windows meant freedom.

…

Fluttershy watched as her friend Twilight fretted over her medical supplies, a small smile on her muzzle, it was always nice to see that her friend hadn’t changed after becoming a princess. She would always be that slightly clumsy bookworm that everypony loved.

A slight movement caused the Pegasus to look toward the human, who now had his eyes open and was looking around cautiously. She froze for a moment as the human stared at her, his eyes slightly widening as they locked gazes. Then he whimpered and Fluttershy saw something in his eyes that broke her heart, pure terror.

She flinched as he rolled off of the couch, Twilight squeaking as he ran upstairs. “W-Wait!” she shouted, standing up and making her way to the foot of the stairs. Before she could yell again the two mares and dragon flinched as they heard the sound of broken glass.

Spike looked out the window and saw the alien hit the ground with a roll and scurrying away with a sigh. “Celestia-damned Thursdays,” he muttered, calmly walking around his now crazed sister/mother and Fluttershy to look for a broom. “Now I have glass to clean up…”

Gotta get away, gotta get away, Phil though as he hit the ground, ignoring his multiple glass-cuts that covered his bare chest and the ponies all around him to find the first thing that anyone needed to do when in a situation like this, higher ground. He found said higher ground when he spied a towering white structure that looked strikingly like an old-timey town hall.  

There we go, he thought as he made a beeline toward the structure, tightening the rags around his hands, getting ready for the climb. And climb he did, making his way up to the top of the town hall like a squirrel would a tree until he reached the top.

“Alright,” the human said to himself, shielding his eyes from his the sun as he surveyed his surroundings. “Where the hell’s Bob?” His eyes, sharp from searching for trouble in the Everfree, scanned the town carefully until he saw a sight that made him groan. For there was Bob, curled into a giant ball and snoozing the morning away right in front of the place he had just escaped from.

“Of course, of course! He has to be there, just my luck,” Phil cursed to himself as he squatted over the ledge. “They must have used some evil mind control stuff to put Bob under,” the human squared his shoulders and set his jaw, a determined look on his face. “Don’t worry, Bob, I’m gonna save ya!... Now I just need to figure out how to get down…”

During his stay in the Everfree, Phil had become accustomed to using a set of skill that had maintained his survival and helped the pride in their day-to-day lives, climbing being the foremost skill of importance.

It was also a skill the human took to like a duck to a pond, the human being able to scale the tallest, most deadly trees with little ease. But there was a kink in this skill that Philip the human had, he could climb up anything, but he had a little problem getting down, like an I’ll slip-and-fall-and-crack-my-head-open-if-you-breathe-on-me-wrong kind of problem. But Phil had quite a good solution to this; find something soft to fall into.

“It’s a long freakin’ drop if I can’t-,” Phil smiled as he spied upon a wagon loaded with hay not too far away. “There we go!” He looked up into the sky, clasping his hands together. “God, Buddha, Odin, if one of you guys could make sure that I don’t miss the landing I’d be awful grateful.”

“Our hero is a big scaredy-baby!”

Phil stiffened at that, looking around angrily. “I am not!”

“Yes you are!”

“I’m going to jump it!”

“No you will not!”

“YES I WILL!”

“BIG CRY BABY BIG CRY BABY BIG CRY BABY!”

His pride pricked the angry human took a few steps backward before roaring, “Banzai!” With a little hop the human soared into the air for a moment or two before dropping like a stone toward the hay-cart of life and safety. Curling up into a tight ball Phil quietly prayed to every deity, made up or otherwise, as he hit the hay with a firm thud.

Now, due to some of the video games of today, some people believe that if you jump into a bail of what looks to be soft hay that it is a soft and comfortable landing; those people would be wrong.

Most people don’t know that along with the perennial grasses, legumes, clover, and alfalfa that are in hay, there are many different types of painful, sharp weeds that beg to poke and stab flesh in it, which makes falling into a bale of hay at any height a usually painful experience. Never mind if you jumped in one at forty feet and without a shirt on.

So it was a only a second or two when Phil, horribly happy at not cracking his head open on anything, hopped out of the cart cursing while he tried to rip out the weeds that had buried themselves into his flesh.

“Our hero survived his-”

Not bothering to look around the human lifted his arm up into the air to give the one finger salute to the announcer guy before charging back to the treehouse, the townsponies who had been watching the whole scene with amusement shaking their heads before going about their daily lives. It was just another day in Ponyville after all.

…

Bob was a simple Manticore, though an admittedly an odd one. All he usually needed to get through the day was a hunk of meat, a good conversation, and about ten to fifteen naps a day. And like every Manticore in Equs, there was one thing he hated more than anything, when his naps were interrupted.

Now Bob was incredibly a very forgiving creature, far more so than his brothers and sisters, because he when off a three-tier system, as in he would let three wake-ups slide before he then began to maul/attack whoever dared to wake him.

To his irritation he was already at one right now.

But the situation was bettering itself in that he had almost drifted off into-

“Bob, wake up your fat ass and let’s get outta here; these ponies are crazy and they wanna cut me up!”

Bob sighed, not bothering to open his eyes as his human friend began to shake him. Now Bob understood, though Phil and maybe even Twilight didn’t, the situation. Phil panicked, Phil ran away, the ponies are looking for him, the ponies are trying to help but Phil’s a big scaredy baby. A very short but true take on what was going on.

So Bob did what needed to be done in a situation like that, he ignored his friend and pretended to be asleep. Such a thing might have been considered cruel but it needed to be done, besides, Bob needed a nap to absorb all of this craziness that had already started on their journey.

…

“Bob, Bob, wake up! For Christ sake, Bob, get up before they come back!” Phil whimpered, peering inside the house to see that it was empty. They must be out looking for me, he thought to himself miserably, What am I gonna do?

Before Phil could contemplate how he was going to wake up his friend, tell him what was going on, and get the two of them back into the forest unscathed, his stomach angrily reminded him that it hadn’t been fed that day, growling loudly as the human looked down at it with a small frown.

“Huh,” the human muttered, peering back inside the treehouse, library thingy. “I wonder if this place has anything to eat…” Looking around to see if he could spot a flash of purple or yellow Phil went inside, closing the door behind gently as he looked around the little house.

“Books, books, and more books,” he muttered, scrunching his nose at the smell of ink and paper. Then Phil found something that he hadn’t seen since landing in the middle of the Everfree forest, a light switch. With a Dopey grin he flicked the switch, trying not to flinch as he was bathed in artificial light.

“Neat, I wonder if they had plumbing, or,” the human whimpered eagerly, “toilet paper,” Flicking the switch off the human started to nose around the first floor of the building, poking at things that weren’t his, until he spied the motherland, the kitchen.

...

Rarity Belle considered herself many things, a lady of high class, one of the greatest fashion designers in Equestria, and somepony who could make the colors pink and black go together well. What she was not was punctual, spending time to ‘freshen’ herself up even before going off and saving the world.

Which is why, when she was told by her Spiky Wiky that ‘Phil’ the alien was running around Ponyville, she had spent the last thirty minutes fixing herself up, she had to show her fabulousness off to this ‘alien’ after all.

Oh, I hope that I picked the correct dress, the mare thought to herself as she gazed at her low cut but tasteful sky-blue dress. Oh, who am I kidding, this Philip is bound to love it! She walked toward Twilights house, still thinking that the mare was there waiting for her.

Looking over herself one final time as she reached her friends door, Rarity knocked and then opened the door, “Twilight, Darling,” she called, walking inside, “I have arrived, now we can-”

The mare froze in place as she saw something that brought terror and disgust into the heart. There, with a whole loaf of bread in his mouth and a wedge of cheese in each palm was Phil, looking at her, frozen in place.

…

Phil froze as he watched a white pony with a horn on her head look at him wide-eyes. Boy, are those eyes are big, he thought as she gasped, big but kinda pretty. Now how am I gonna get out of her-

“Darling!” The pony screamed, making her way over to the human who backed up in terror. “Look at the state of those pants and your hair, sweet Celestia your poor hair; it looks like somepony took a knife to it! And look at your fur, all covered in dirt and grime! For shame, for shame!”

Phil swallowed his mouthful of bread as his back hit a wall, whimpering as the mare came so close to him that he could smell her. “Um,” he started to say before yelping as the mare squashed his face together with her hands.

“Don’t you worry, darling, if you’ll just come to my home I’ll have you fixed right up!” The mare cried, clasping his hand and dragging him toward the door, poor Phil dropping his food as he tried, and failed, to get out of her grasps.

“BOB! BOB! Get up and help me!” Phil cried as the mare took him away, the Manticore opening an eye before shifting his position to be a little more comfortable.

“Our hero furthers his journey!”  The announcer cried, the Manticore snorting to himself as Phil’s screams lessened and finally stopped.

“Rawr,” he murmured, promising to himself as he went back to bed. “Rawr Rawr, Rawr.”

Canterlot

“Prince Blueblood,” a servant uttered, bowing before the prince, who waved a hand impatiently.

“Yes, yes, peasant, enough of the formalities; do you have the blueprints?” The prince said, snatching a bundle of paper out of the servants hands, smiling as he peered inside and read.

The Everfree villa

“Excellent,” he said rolling everything up. “Are the construction crews ready?”

The servant bowed again. “Yes, my lord, they await your orders.”

Blueblood smiled evilly. “Good, good…”