"Can somebody please explain what the Hell is going on?" Gogurt pleaded to the Changeling Queen from the confines of the oozing, green cocoon.

Chrysalis smirked at the human's confusion, and stalked closer, "First, why don't you explain what you are?"

"Wait," Gogurt squints at the Queen's question. His lips curl in disbelief, "so, you decided to chase and kidnap somebody without even knowing a thing about him? May I ask where your logic decided to hang itself? Or are you just a special kind of stupid?"

Ditzy nudged Gogurt's arm, "Uh... you probably don't wanna make fun of her.."

"I suggest you take the pony's advice!" Chrysalis snarls. "If you must know, it was not my original intention to pursue. You can thank my reconnaissance unit for that. They spotted you wandering Hayseed Swamps during a mission, and decided to give chase. The problem is, we don't know what you're supposed to be... and you are going to be of use to us. So, explain."

"And what manner of coercion will push me to tell you that?" The Queen responded by hissing and baring her glistening, white fangs.

Gogurt shrugs, "Alright, that'll work. I'm a human. My race is Indian, but not the dark kind. I'm a male. No need to check. I like long walks on the beach, enjoy Italian food, do a bit of art in my—"

"—That's enough!" Chrysalis roars, "Now, what are you doing with a Pegasus and a... raptor?"

"Running like a liberal out of Hell."

The large Changeling raised an eyebrow at the political shot, but pressed onward nonetheless, "Running from what?"

Gogurt sighs, "You, raptors, timberwolves, an angry dragon, and whatever decides to eat me next. I was sorta running in the same direction as these two, so they joined in."

Good, good..." Chrysalis croons, "... now, where do you come from?"

"Earth. In short, I'm a looooooong way from home... so, is it my turn to ask?"

"I suppose so." Chrysalis responds in a flat tone.

"What the Hell do you want from me?"

Chyrsalis begins to cackle at the question, causing the rest of the changelings to join in the buzzing laughter. "For now, food."

Gogurt blanches, only capable of uttering, "Wut?"

"Changelings feed off of love," Ditzy whimpers. "and she's gonna suck the love other ponies have for us!"

Gogurt blows a raspberry, "Wow, ain't that lame and cliche? And, besides, how are we gonna feed aaaaaaall of them?"

Chrysalis shakes her head, "Oh, don't you worry about that. There is a steady supply of love to be consumed from these creatures." she brings a cute, furry, wide-eyed, kitten-like creature to view in the hold of her magic. It mewls, and gives the Queen a paper heart with 'I Wub you!' written on it. "You three, however, are going to be my personal love farms. The cuddly type of love these creatures give tends to leave a tiresome taste in my mouth."

Upon understanding the implications of the situation, Gogurt assumes a deep grimace, "Wait, we're gonna be your personal harem..? Look, lady, I bet your all kinds of nice and all, but bestiality is waaaaaaaaay off limits for me. I don't know if that term applies to sentient creatures, but it stays because you're creepy."

Ditzy blushes and hides behind her hooves, whereas Reginald the Raptor and Chrysalis face-hoofed (face-clawed?).

Gogurt throws his arms into the air in resignation, "Can't make a damn joke without someone takin' it too seriously, can I?"

Chrysalis growls to a nearby changeling-drone, "Leave, I can feed on these idiots myself."

The drones briefly bow to their queen before buzzing out of the open door.

The Queen turns back to the trio with a wide smile and exposed fangs, "Don't worry, you will be of more use than food in the future... but I need to wait until you are all nice and weak." Chrysalis focuses her slit-eyes on Gogurt, "You should prove quite useful yourself."

Gogurt cocks his head to the left, "And why do you say that?"

"Can't you tell?" Chrysalis asks, "I, and every other changeling here can see it, smell it, and feel it. There's a dark and sinister... thing... to you. Every time I look at you, I immediately notice that heavy, suffocating, slimy, seductive, presence of evil."

Gogurt shifts nervously, "You're giving off that rape-y vibe again..."

Chrysalis ignores his remark, "Why, I'm surprised this little Pegasus hasn't run away yet! Most ponies would take one look at you, and see a villain. They would scream in terror, and dash as far as possible from any trace of you!"

Gogurt's mind instantly turns to the book hidden beneath his jacket. "What are you trying to say...?"

"That you look like a monster."

Before the human could deny anything, Chrysalis's mouth yawned open, causing a strange suction to occur. Gogurt immediately felt and saw a green miasma drain from his being, into the mouth of the Changeling Queen. Something was literally being sucked out from the corners of his soul, leaving the human more and more tired. Gogurt turned his head to see that his two companions were experiencing the same sensation.

Chrysalis finally closed her mouth after what seemed to be ages, and assumed a dopey-eyed look of ecstasy, "Mmmmm... I haven't had new love in too long."

Gogurt sways, and falls to the ground. He groans, and says to the Queen, "Still... creepy..."

Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks... Gogurt was unable to tell how long it has been anymore. All he knew was the constant exhaustion and pain that had resulted from being fed upon by the Queen during their imprisonment at Changeling Castle.

The only thing Gogurt has been able to do was think, think about the seemingly impossible plight that had befallen him and his seemingly impossible new companions. Gogurt also could not help but think that this was all his fault. The poor Pegausus and... raptor... would never have been chased by Changelings if he had not accompanied them.

His thoughts would also shift to Queen Chrysalis's words. She said that there was something about Gogurt. Chrysalis said it was something dark, something sinister, something evil. He looked like a monster. Why would he look like a monster? Ditzy had not seen a monster when she carried him to safety, neither did Reginald. However, Gogurt could not deny that something had changed. Every time a Changeling drone would pass by his chrysalis, (the changeling's term for the cocoons) they would keep a wide berth and recoil at his stares. Some nearly ran from his presence. Even Chrysalis kept a wary on him above all else.

Gogurt only had one answer for this: the book, the Necronomicon. The first thoughts he had regarding this matter, was that the creatures were simply afraid of the book's very proximity, despite the fact that it was unseen. However, Gogurt soon realized in his imprisonment that this was not the case. The reasons involved the fact that the Changelings did not turn tail and run when they first encountered him in Hayseed Swamps. This remained true for the raptors and other creatures. Plus, Ditzy had not refused to aid him either, so she did not feel the book's influence either. Of course, this could have been simply due to her well-meaning nature. However, this still left the human with some form of a conclusion. The the book was slowly getting stronger and stronger, and that it just began to exert its influence. But, why didn't Gogurt feel the same irrational fear that the others did?

Gogurt watched the amorphous bits of water drip from the dank, musty, stone ceiling and burst onto Chrysalis's sleeping form, pondering what to do about the matter at hand. A groan interrupted his thinking. Gogurt shifted to the noise's source to see that it was Ditzy. She was stirring awake from her drain-induced slumber. Ditzy yawned, and blinked the tiredness from her eyes. It was then that Gogurt realized what he needed for an answer was a second opinion.

"Hey, Ditz'?"

The Pegasus grunts, and turns to Gogurt, "Yeah?"

"Do...uh..." Gogurt struggled to find the right words, "... I look different from when you first found me?"

Ditzy frowned. "Well, um, you've got a beard and mustache now, so you look old, I guess?"

Gogurt furrowed his brow, and stroked his spiky, hair-covered chin, "Crap... always grows back fast. At least mine isn't some fuzzy, prepubescent peach hair. I feel rugged, as if I were some grizzled, war-torn adventurer with a dark and obscure past."

Ditzy attempts to focus her eyes, "Huh?"

Gogurt waved it aside with a weak flap of his arm, "Sexy facial-hair aside, that wasn't what I was talking about. I mean what the Glory-Hole Queen was saying."

"Glory-Hole Queen..?"

Gogurt gestures to the Queen, "You know, 'cuz she's got holes all over her legs and stuff?"

"Oooooh..." Ditzy half-nods in understanding, "...what's a glory-hole?"

"Don't worry about that. Question is, was there any truth to what she said?"

Ditzy immediately flinches, "Well... uh... you weren't like any of that... when I first met you."

Gogurt raises his eyebrows in anticipation, "And now?"

Ditzy looks away, "Now, I get a little scared every time I look at you. I know you aren't evil, or anything like that, and I always feel bad about getting scared... so I've been hiding it. I don't know why I would get scared, it's just that whenever I see you, my instincts always wanna say, run, run away. He's bad news, run."

Gogurt was struck with silence. Judging from what his new friend said, merely glancing in his direction would cause unexplained terror. He was akin to a monster... all because of that damned book.

Ditzy noticed his falling expression and hastily added, "But! Every time my mind tells me you're evil, I remember how silly that is. All you've done is been nice to me and Reginald. You're one of the only ones that never make fun of my stupid eyes! So, I tell my mind to shut up, because no evil monster would act like that."

Ditzy's amendment had a visible effect on the human. It was nice for Gogurt to know that there was someone—or, somepony—that knew how to look past the thick exterior. He grimly smiles, "Thanks."

Ditzy smiles back and nods, "I'd give you a hug, but I can't really move that well."

"It's okay, mental hugs work... for now." The two chuckle, but Gogurt's mind quickly goes back to the matter. The exchange confirmed his fears: the book was growing stronger.

"Awake, are we?"

The Changeling Queen rises from her pink reclining couch, and steps to the encasing chrysalis. "Good, because it's about time I reveal your true purpose in all of this."

Chrysalis marches the chained human through the stone corridors. A pair of armored Changeling officers flanked the Queen's left and right, to make sure the prisoner would not try anything funny.

"Why are you taking me alone, again?" Gogurt moans as he strains to keep up the heavy pace.

"Because," lulls the Queen, "you are the only part that matters in the plan. The other two are merely guilty by association, so I see no cause in including them in the plan. Anyways, here we are: the War Room."

The Changeling officers push the large, oaken, double-doors open to reveal a round room centered by a octagonal shaped table covered by a detailed map from edge to edge. On the table were various forms of figurines and a single crystal orb.

"Some time ago, my kind attempted to take over Canterlot and feed off its love as a part of our new empire," Chrysalis saunters to the map with the human in tow, and points the aforementioned city at the center of the map. "However, my disguise was blown. Shining Armor and his wife, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, used the power of love to blast our kind to the far reaches of Equestria."

Gogurt snorts, "Mi Amore Cadenza, Shining Armor, talk about pretentious names and a cheesy win."

Chrysalis chuckles, "Oh, don't even get me started on the pretty-pink-princess! Anyways, my Changelings and I ended up in a village full of the furry, loving creatures I showed you before. We fed off of their love, and eventually took this castle. Soon after, I tried to take the magical power of the Element of Magic, Twilight Sparkle. I failed... now we're trapped in this castle by some jabbering, possessed costume. If it weren't for the Changeling Reconnaissance left in the swamps, I'd be stuck here forever." Chrysalis grunts, "I can't leave for more than a minute or that costume finds out, and alerts the Elements.

Gogurt raises his eyebrows, "Elements? And Twilight Sparkle? What mother gives these God-awful names?"

"Oh, that's right, you don't know about the Elements of Harmony, do you?" Chrysalis notes. "As for the names... ugh, don't ask me."

It was at this moment, that the enervated human came across a realization. He knew next to nothing about this new world! He had been too busy trying-not-to-die, that he forgot to inquire.

Gogurt shakily took a seat at the table, "Would you be able to educate me a bit on Equestria and stuff? It'd be nice to know more if I'm going to be forced into doing any slave-work for ya."

Chrysalis sighs and takes the biggest seat at the table, "I suppose so, but I'll only tell you what's necessary."

The Queen quickly briefed him on Equestrian knowledge. He learned of the three races of ponies, the alicorn rulers, the Crystal Empire, the Elements of Harmony, the Elements of Harmony being returned to the Tree of Harmony... and how well they took to monsters.

"I hope that satisfied your questions, because I'm not wasting anymore time. Here is what I need." Chrysalis points to the Crystal Empire. "Here, as I've just told you, lies the Crystal Heart."

"The thing-a-ma-dick that powers the shield around the city?"

Chrysalis nods, "Correct. The Crystal Heart is an artifact charged with the light and love of all the Crystal Ponies, effectively creating a shield that repels evil."

Gogurt squints as he begins to put the pieces together in his mind, "I see where this is going... if that heart is constantly charged with the love of the Crystal pony-things, then that's a lot of love for you to feed off of."

Chrysalis clops her hooves together in applause, "How sharp of you! With that ridiculous amount of love, I'll grow powerful enough to rise again, I'll be more powerful than all the Princesses combined, and EQUESTRIA WILL BE MINE!!!!"

Gogurt holds up his hands, "Alright, enough of the theatrics. I get it, you want me to go get it, because y'all are too, 'evil', to get past the defenses... but what if I can't get in? Didn't you say that I had an evil presence?"

Chrysalis freezes, and puts a hoof to her chin, "I did not account for that. The whole reason I picked you out of all things was because you wouldn't be missed when found missing, and you don't seem to have any allegiance to the wretched Princesses. Well, you could pass. You look like a monster, but you seem nice enough, so maybe you'll pass through? Besides, evil is such a subjective term."

"I agree," Gogurt says with crossed arms, "but isn't this a bit of an oversight? I mean, a lot can go wrong now. I'm not supporting your megalomaniac-ideals or anything, I just don't see the logic."

Chrysalis sighs, and scratches her horn, "Well, the problem is that we don't have much time. Today's the New Year's celebration, and the best time to slip in and out of the Empire with the Heart. With so many ponies in one place, it makes it quite easy to steal, and we won't get this chance again."

The humans blows a raspberry and leans back into the chair, "Well, screw it, that's the plan then. So.... how do I go about getting this most likely heavily guarded artifact integral to the Empire's safety?"

Chrysalis whispered to one of the officers. The officer stepped to Gogurt and deposited a large haversack into his lap with a flash of his horn. "The Queen has said that the steps for the plan are written in the scroll, inside the haversack, for easy remembrance. Do not open it until you are before the Empire's gates."

Gogurt curls his lips, "And if I don't do this?"

"Why that's simple!" Chrysalis sings, "If you fail to bring back the Crystal Heart within the allotted time inscribed within the scroll, I'll keep your Pegasus and Raptor friends as a food-farm for the rest of their lives!"

Before the human could execute a witty remark regarding the holes in her legs, the Changeling officers, along with their Queen, charged their horns and released a spell onto him. The world briefly twists and warps around his eyes, before he vanishes.

Gogurt reappears into existence. He opens his eyes to see a wide, moonlit green pasture with a single river cutting through the grass. He looked down and saw that he was enveloped within the shadow of a large monolith. His eyes followed the river, finding that it eventually flowed into a gigantic city with twisting, tinkling spires in the far distance.

Gogurt remembers the haversack in his hands and proceeds to open it. He widens the hole and pulls out a brown paper bag with the distinct smell of spicy mustard.

Written on the bag was, "Inside is a turkey and spicy mustard sandwich on sourdough. Considering the ponies don't take to meat very well, I figured it would be best to go ahead and give you something to eat myself. This should also restore the energy you've lost from being my love-farm the past days. Enjoy...

XOXO, Queen Chrysalis

Knowing well that this is a bad idea, and that it is very creepy, Gogurt opens the paper bag and pulled out the aforementioned sandwich. Of course, it is quite delicious, and true to the message, quite energizing. He feels all the drowsiness and pain fade away within seconds. Gogurt took another look at the bag, and saw that there was a message on the other side.

"By the way, this enchanted sandwich will make you take the appearance of an earth pony stallion to anypony but yourself, and mask any of that dark presence you ooze so much of. It should help you move along inside the Crystal Empire. It shouldn't wear off until the final steps of the plan. There should be enough of the enchantment to affect you, but I'm not sure. Once you finish it, read the scroll."

Gogurt polishes off the rest of the sandwich, and digs through the haversack for the scroll. He finds it, and pulls it out. He breaks the wax seal and reads the numbered steps.

Step 1: Enter the Empire without garnering suspicion

Step 2: Locate the Crystal Heart. It should be at the very center of it all.

Step 3: Cause a distraction. Break a window, cause a dispute, whatever.

Step 4: Tamper with the fireworks. Do not destroy them, simply cause a delay.

Step 5: Try to distance yourself from the Royal Guards, they might be able to sniff the magic disguising you. ESPECIALLY stay clear of Shining Armor. If he traps you in a shield, you won't be able to escape.

Step 6: Grab the Crystal Heart once the appropriate distractions have been made.

Step 7: Slip through the crowds and make your way out of the Empire. Use the Teleportation Crystal in the haversack to bring yourself back to the castle instantly, but it will not work unless you reach this rock. Don't question it, it's magic. And above all, don't lose it, they're not very easy to make.

If you fail to retrieve the Crystal Heart within a week, or if you inform anypony of the plan, or if you even get captured, consider your friends my food for the next generation.

XOXO, Queen Chrysalis.

Gogurt grimaces at the distant city, "Better get moving...."

Gogurt reached the glowing Crystal Empire with thirty minutes. It was quite an impressive sight to behold. The city twinkles and casts off luminescent colors through the night sky, glistening, laughing, Crystal Pegasi zip in and out, popping small-scale firecrackers at each other. The most noticeable feature, however, was the shining, iridescent shield that flashed from time to time.

Time to ruin it all.

Gogurt, not wanting to look suspicious, takes the main road that all the other ponies were using to enter the Empire. As he slips into the crowd, he notices that none of the ponies take half a notice of him. It appears the magic sandwich was magic after all. Maybe this would go as smoothly as possible.

But the shield says otherwise.

Gogurt was having trouble with the shield. It's not that it completely bars him from entry, more that it is confused as to whether it should bar him at all. It was like trying to push your way through jello. What's worse, was that some of the ponies were starting to take notice.

Gogurt finally heaves his way through the Crystal Heart's shield, but he sure as Hell failed Step One of the plan. He pretends not to notice the other ponies stares, and quickly blends with the moving crowd of equines. Luckily, he got no more than a few looks.

"HALT!"

Gogurt freezes and faces the guard that had called his name. "Sup?"

"What is your name?"

Uh oh. He had forgotten to think of a name, but it did not stop him from blurting out, "SEXY BEAST. That's my name. Sexy Beast."

The guard raises an eyebrow, and hands Sexy Beast a ticket from a pouch on the side of his armor. "You forgot to register yourself a ticket at the gate, Mr.... Sexy Beast. You need this to enjoy the festivities. It's all for organization. Have a good New Year's Eve." the guard nods, and walks off.

Gogurt sighs in relief. That was too close, but at least ponies had to call him Sexy Beast now.

He looks back to the scroll. Now he has to locate the Crystal Heart. According to the instructions, it is at the center of the very Empire. It is a good thing there were many helpful signs located at every corner. Sexy Beast passes happy, playful ponies and foals. They are really enjoying themselves on this New Year's night. How strange it is. He had never expected to spend his New Year's in a land populated by talking ponies, nor did he expect to be the instrument in a Changeling scheme. Well, that is life.

Sexy Beast finally finds himself in the center of the Empire. He ignores the kiosks selling strange "crystal" foods, and homes in on the piece of the hour: the Crystal Heart. Unfortunately, it is completely surrounded by awed ponies... and the Royal Guard. However, there is a glimmer of hope in this hopeless situation.

Sexy Beast looks up, and gazes upon the cyan-blue Crystal Castle. At the midsection of the caslte were the fireworks. They had been arranged in a ring around the castle, angled towards the sky. Sexy Beast catches the balcony the fireworks originated at, and sees the pump-activated detonation device. If he could set them off... that might provide an ample enough distraction to retrieve the Crystal Heart. His eyes wander down, and sees the ponies pouring into the castle. A free tour, how lucky!

Sexy Beast realizes that getting to the Crystal Castle through the roads would have meant a large detour. He sees that ponies were walking directly across the square, in close proximity to the Crystal Heart, no less, but were not even given so much as a glance! If he cut straight across the square, he would get to the castle much quicker, and nopony would even mind!

Sexy Beast begins to trot through the central square where the ponies were watching the Crystal Heart, confident this would go down easier than expected, but that was when it all went wrong. All at once, the music, the banter, the talking, the festivities, they all abruptly stopped. Then Sexy Beast hears the gasps. Sexy Beast stops walking to see that everypony is staring directly at him. Well, it seems that sandwich did not last as long as expected.

"THAT MONSTER'S TRYING TO STEAL THE CRYSTAL HEART!!!" screams a nearby unicorn mare.

"Wait, what?" Gogurt looks down to see that he is right next to the glowing, blue, Crystal Heart.

It did not take him long to realize the implications of this. "Well, shit."

The situation only got worse when the guard unintentionally surprised him from behind, "Step away from the—URGH!!!"

The sudden surprise had prompted Gogurt's reflexes to roundhouse kick him in the head, knocking the Crystal Guard to the ground.

Gogurt dropped to his knees and struggled to apologize, "Aw, I'm sorry, man! This is that thing with the Clinton cop all over again! It's just that when people sneak up on me—"

"NOW HE'S TRYING TO EAT THAT GUARD!!!!" shrieks the same mare, working the ponies into a nickering, bucking, and neighing, fear-frenzy.

Gogurt screams to the crowd, "Will you all calm down?!?!" but to no avail. They simply continued their cries of terror.

"Don't touch the Crystal Heart, evil-doer!" shouts a commanding stallion's voice over the crowd.

Gogurt wheels to the voice's source, "Evil-doer? Come on, are you really that cliche... oh, f*ck me with a thousand spiked demon-badger dicks."

The voice had happened to belong to a large, white, unicorn stallion in purple armor. From the descriptions Chrysalis gave, this had to be the Captain of the Royal Guard: Shining Armor. The Captain tentatively saunters closer to Gogurt, "Don't resist. We're gonna take you in and figure out what kind of...... monster you're supposed to be."

Gogurt remembered the requirements of the mission. If he got captured, Ditzy and Reginald were as good as dead. Capture was not an option. He looked to the Crystal Heart and saw that a trio of guards were now blocking it at every angle. Gogurt slowly steps away from the Crystal Heart.

The Crystal Heart was lost now, but he could always get it later. "I'm sorry, but I'm not coming with you." Gogurt placidly states to the Captain.

Shining sighs, "Well, guess I gotta do this the hard way." He lowers his horn, and begins to charge a spell. Gogurt quickly remembers his forte: barriers. If Shining Armor releases that spell, he's done for. So, how does Gogurt stop the spell in its tracks?

With a pony-shield, of course.

Gogurt grabs a nearby mare, the one that was shrieking, and holds her in front of his body. Shining Armor discharges the spell... onto the mare, enveloping her in an imprisoning bubble. Gogurt drops the bubbled, now very disgrunteld mare, and runs in the only available direction. He ran towards the Crystal Castle.

Shining undoes the spell on the mare, and points to Gogurt's fleeing figure, "After him!"

And so, the chase begins.

"Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" Gogurt ducked a zap of magic from a pursuing guard.

Gogurt's escape through the Crystal Castle had not been the brightest of his ideas. He had been running for five minutes now. Shining's platoon had the advantage here. They knew the castle like the back of their hoof, and Gogurt was getting very, very lost. It all looked the same to him. Blue, blue, and even more blue over there. He could not tell if he was going up or down anymore.

However, for some reason, Shining and his Guard has still failed to capture him. Gogurt either ducked, strafed, or bludgeoned with a vase, every time a Guard got close enough to attack. That does not mean they completely missed the human. They had gotten a few zaps in, sending scorching magic through his body, but Gogurt could not stop running to nurse the pain.

Gogurt threw a nearby chair at a diving Pegasus guard, causing him to lose control and crash against the crystalline wall. Gogurt looked ahead and smiled in victory. A staircase! Unfortunately, as he neared the stairs, Shining Armor blinked in front of the steps. Shining lowered his horn for an imprisoning spell. The monster could not dodge this spell at the speed he was sprinting.

However, in the heat of the moment, Gogurt opted for a different maneuver. As he gets closer to the Captain, Gogurt drops to the ground, using the momentum and slick floor to slide under the Captain's standing body. Gogurt leaps to his feet as he clears Shining Armor, and delivers a kick to his Shining-Gonads (well, they weren't actually shining).

The Captain hits the floor from the sudden shock and belly-breaking pain. Gogurt laughs, and runs up the stairwell. He reaches the very top, and enters another hallway. Gogurt spots an open room in the center of the hall. He rushes inside and slams the door shut.

Gogurt pants from exhaustion, and turns to face the room he found himself in. He freezes upon seeing the pretty-pink Alicorn staring at him in a mix of disbelief and fear. Gogurt puts a finger to his lips, and rapidly explains his situation, "Take it easy, Princess, I'm just hiding from the Captain of the Guard. You see, I just kicked him in the horse-testicles and—"

"—Hold on!" Princess Cadance angrily interjects, "You kicked my Shiny in the Shining Un-Armored?! Wait a second, you're that monster that was trying to steal the Crystal Heart!"

Gogurt rolls his eyes, "Aw, Hell, that's right, you're married to the Douche-Burger."

That was when the door burst open, with a groaning Captain of the Royal Guard behind it, "Cadance! Are you alright? There's a monster..." he falters upon spotting the monster in the room.

Gogurt sighs, "Yup, I'm here." Gogurt looks to the side and notices the open door... leading to the balcony. "And now I'm out there."

Before Shining or Cadance could act, the human leaped through the open door and onto the balcony. Gogurt grins and scans the area for the interconnecting balconies and doors that accompany this one. He would run to a different balcony, open the door through there, and continue his escape.

Gogurt frowned, because he saw that there were no other doors or balconies! He had effectively cornered himself, and Shining Armor knew it. Shining slowly approaches the human with a smirk on his face.

Gogurt stumbles backwards and lands on a giant, cone shaped rocket decorated in black plastic. Beside the rocket were various assortments or firecrackers, some were even situated on the balcony's rails. The single-pump detonation device, resembling something off of Looney Tunes, sat in front of the rocket, awaiting activation. That's right, this is where the fireworks were supposed to be firing. It's funny. This was the human's destination before the magic sandwich wore off. Now, it was where he would be captured.

"I've got you now, monster!" Shining lowers his horn and charges a final spell.

Gogurt clambers up the rocket, "No, wait, you—"

*Click.*

Shining and Gogurt stop whatever they were doing to find where that ominous noise had come from. Gogurt looked down at his left foot. While he had been stumbling on the slick rocket, it had slipped and pushed down the detonation pump. A shower of orange sparks began to rain from the rocket's base.

Gogurt clenched the rocket as tight he could, and utter one word to the dumbstruck Captain, "F*ck."

*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Within seconds, Gogurt had left the grasp of the Crystal Castle, and had soared high into the sky, desperately holding onto slick rocket.

"WHYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!??!"

Instead of rising directly above the castle, the rocket's intended path, Gogurt's weight had caused the rocket to fly at a sharp angle, towards the northern end of the Crystal Empire, and past its gates. Of course, as is the fates of all fire-cracking rockets, it bursts into a brilliant display of sparking, colored flame....... blasting a sizzling human to the frozen wasteland beyond the Crystal Empire.

While he fell, with the explosion ringing in his ears, Gogurt still managed to hear the Necronomicon's hearty chortling beneath his jacket.

The incredibly unfortunate human pondered how it remained under his jacket shortly before screaming, "DAMNIT, STOP LAUGHING!"

Gogurt eyed the quickly approaching, snow covered ground, and held out two middle fingers for the world to see, "HAPPY NEW YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!"

Author's Notes:

There you have it, my New Year chapter, and my longest one to date.
Not Lee focused, but there had to be some development for Lee's lost friend.

Have a Happy New Year, everybody!

Note: I based the Changeling's current situation after what happened in the comics. Look it up if you want a bit more info.