"Ah' still don't see the point o' this..."

"Come now, Applejack, just sit back, relax, and enjoy the treatment!"

"Ah' know..." Applejack assured Rarity, "it's just that I don't completely understand the point of payin' for a mud bath when Ah' could go outside an' get one for free."

"Oh, well, you see, Applejack," Fluttershy quietly coughed from a nearby mud tub, "the mud from the spa is full of special minerals and such that—"

"—the heavenly soil base in the mud bath is filled to the brim with soothing minerals that work wonders on absolving a mare's skin from impurities." Rarity unintentionally interrupted, "It's also quite relaxing! Don't you agree, Fluttershy?"

At first, the shy mare contemplated on the accidental interruption, but then she waved it aside. It was not her friend's fault that she was so soft-spoken. Besides, her sickness today did not allow her to speak too loudly. Fluttershy simply decided on agreeing, "Yes, Rarity, it's quite nice...!"

Applejack nodded, and settled further into the mud bath, "Ah'll take your word for it."

Today was the weekly event where Rarity and Fluttershy met up at the local spa to chum and release the week's stress. Considering the craziness regarding the comic book which conspired the other day and the restoration of the castle in the Everfree along with Applejack's regular duties at the farm, it was no surprise that Applejack was a bit overworked. Due to a past lesson regarding the consequences of overworking oneself, Applejack reluctantly accepted Rarity's offer to be pampered at spa. Despite the fact that the earth pony did not really care for spa-activities, she had to admit that the treatment was alleviating much stress.

"So, my dear, Applejack, may I ask who's minding the farm and apple stand in the market? Did you leave it to Apple Bloom ?" Rarity inquires as the spa twins, Aloe and Lotus, applied a white cream to her face via fine-haired brushes.

Applejack snorts, and chomps on a cucumber slice that was placed on her eyes. "After the last time mah lil' sis was left in charge of the apple-stand, she won't be sellin' nothin' pretty soon. The farm's got Big Mac, there ain't much work for today anyways since it's so far into winter. As for the stand, Lee offered to take it off o' mah hooves for today."

Rarity raised an eyebrow, causing a cucumber slice to topple off. "Really, Lee did?"

Applejack grunts, "Yup! It was mighty kind of him, too. Sure, Lee's got a bit of sailor's mouth, and he can be a bit rude, but he's a friend Ah'm glad to have. Apple Bloom seems to like him a lot too. Just hope that mouth don't rub off on her."

"Very true!" Rarity concurred, "I believe that attitude and coarse language is simply his way of playing, even though I can't quite grasp what Lee says half the time. He's actually quite the gentleman, when he chooses to be!"

"Sure, he's, um... fun, I think?" Fluttershy says as she sniffles from her runny nose.

Rarity blinked several times upon hearing Fluttershy's uncertainty, causing the remaining cucumber slice to fall into the bath. "Oh, are you not too fond of Lee, Fluttershy?"

"Oh, no! It's not that," Fluttershy vigorously shook her head, stifling the oncoming sneezing fit, "it's just... I haven't really gotten to know him very well. Plus, I can't ever tell when he's serious or joking. So, it's really confusing for me."

Applejack stretches, and turns onto her stomach, with her hooves and head resting above the bath. "He's a good fella once ya do get to know him. Hardworking, diligent, doesn't like to complain, that gives him a good mark in mah book. Big Mac agrees, even though Lee bucked him right in the 'little-macs'."

Fluttershy blushes and half-submerges her head within the bath, so that she resembled a hippo. Except that she was not enormous. Or a hippo. "Oh... my. Uh, I wonder how he's doing with the apple-stand?"

"Oh, I'm sure Lee's doing swimmingly." Rarity assures, "When I was creating that tuxedo ensemble for him in the Swag-Off, Lee told me that he had experience with business. You know, supply-and-demand, stocks and such."

Applejack consumes the other cucumber slice with a swipe of her tongue and swallows, "See? He's probably doin' just fine right 'bout now."

A brief silence followed, only to be broken by the dainty sniffing sounds of Rarity. "I say, does it not smell like smoke?"

"For God's sake, just tell me what you f*cking want before I anal-falcon punch your sorry-ass."

"Just give me a second, ya freaky, ignorant, country bumpkin! I'm not done here, yet." replied the groomed donkey in the swanky, white, pinstriped suit with a matching fedora. He picked up an apple and absentmindedly tosses it from hoof to hoof.

Lee held his head in his hands, so that he would not have the mule's throat in his hands instead. Lee straightens up, and points to the stand's wares, "Look, here's what we got. We got apples, apples, some more apples over there, and green apples over there if you're feeling rebellious. You've been eyeing the same sh*t for twenty minutes. Make your damn choice." The queue of customers stuck behind the indecisive donkey angrily shouted their agreement.

The literal ass tugged at his collar as he felt himself become more and more auspicious. He leans towards Lee and whispers, "Where's the bucking package, bozo?"

Lee pulls a face and shouts, "What the f*ck kind of package are you talking about?"

The donkey cringes, and pulls his fedora over his eyes. "You know pretty bucking well what I'm talking about. Now you better give it before this looks even more suspicious... otherwise something unfortunate might happen to your little farm..." the donkey pulls his collar slightly away, revealing a lighter emblazoned with a donkey skull over a flame.

Lee returns the ass's glare, "Do something."

The ass chuckles, and slightly shifts his shoulder back, "Alright, how about I do it now—"

"—SURPRISE, B*TCH!" before the pinstriped ass could throw a hoof, Lee had tackled him over the counter.

What ensued then, was an epic battle between a five-foot-eleven-inch human and a donkey dressed like a mafioso. The rapid exchange of blows, the fierce bucking, and the testicle-targeting dispersed the crowd and brought their fight closer and closer to an aforementioned establishment. The Spa.

They crashed through the front doors, scattering spa-ponies and various ointments. They ignored the shouting hosts and customers, and carried their brawl through the entire building. Eventually, they reached the aromatherapy section. Lee and the donkey did not seem to notice that they knocked over several dozen lit candles onto dozens of very flammable surfaces. It was a fiery fight, indeed.

"Again, I'm really sorry about causing part of your spa to burn down."

Aloe and Lotus only gave annoyed leers.

"So... will a hundred bits cover the damages?"

Lee only received the same reaction.

"Ok, a 150 bits?"

Again, the same stares.

"Fine, two-hundred bits." the raised deal caused the two spa ponies to break into a smile. Lee sighs, reaches for the required monetary repayment in his Altima's dashboard (he learned to have it handy since these situations tended to occur often), and dropped it into Aloe and Lotus's outstretched hooves.

Before Lee drove off, he pointed an accusing finger at the two, "I know you b*tches are insured, and I know that flowery smelling sh*t doesn't cost that much."

Aloe and Lotus responded in mock, wide-eyed, hurt expressions.

Lee grimaced, "Stupid-damn-foreign-f*cking-adorable-ponies." and drove off.

Inside Lee's car were three mares. They were Applejack, Rarity, and an ill Fluttershy. Applejack did not seem to mind what had happened with the apple-stand, especially because of the threats the donkey had made against her farm. Rarity was slightly upset that her favorite spa would be closed, but she understood the situation in the same manner Applejack had. The question is, why is Fluttershy sick? Apparently, the mare had been feeling slightly under the weather the entire time, but decided to go on a spa-trip anyways, thinking it might heal her. Fluttershy did not count on the fire and smoke and running for her life, which worsened her condition into a fever.

Lee began to take the ponies to their desired destinations. Applejack had asked to be released at her apple-stand. She only wanted to check on it, not work herself anymore. After that, Lee took Rarity back to Carousel Boutique. The dress shop in question looked like a frosted cake due to the falling snow.

"Are you going to be alright, Fluttershy dear?" a concerned Rarity asked the sniffling Fluttershy.

"I should be...! I don't have to take care of the animals since most of them are hibernating. I just..." Fluttershy began to sway in the backseat, "need to stay... in bed."

Rarity purses her lips, but suddenly, inspiration strikes! "You shouldn't stay alone in this state, Fluttershy. I have a lot of winter lines I need to work on, but maybe Lee can nurse you back to health..?"

Lee shrugs, "K."

Fluttershy stutters, "A-are you s-sure you want to? I wouldn't w-want to waste your day..."

"It's cool, I didn't have anything planned anyways. So, leggo to yo' house." with that, Lee speeds onto the icy street, and drifts around the corner. The shivering and meeping Fluttershy clung to her belt in terror as Lee laughed maniacally at her reactions. It was going to be a fun day.

"Um... Lee?" Fluttershy tentatively asks Lee from the comfort of her bed.

"What up?"

"I don't think I need to be tied down..." Fluttershy shifted against the restraints tied around her midsection, attempting to get into a more comfortable position.

Lee grunts, "I know you don't. But..." then a wide, sadistic grin broke across Lee's face, "I like my kinky sh*t this way!"

Fluttershy breaks into a cold sweat upon hearing the ominous reasons, and struggles even more.

Lee's grin fades away. "What the f*ck is your problem? I was joking."

Fluttershy stops struggling, and relaxes. "Oh..."

"It's okay if you feel stupid." Lee picks up a pitcher full of cold water from the bedstand, "Want some water, you butter-lookin'-ho?"

"Oh, yes, please...!"

Lee undoes the restraints, pours her a glass of the clear liquid from the pitcher, and offers it to the fevered-Fluttershy. She slowly drains the glass, and hands it back to him. Fluttershy retreats into the bed's blanket. "Would you tuck me in, please?"

"KK!" Lee proceeds to tuck the blanket under the mare, and over her, and around her. The result was something that resembled an adorable churro.

"I, uh, didn't mean to tuck me in that much, but thanks!"

"You didn't mean it that much because b*tches never know what they want."

Fluttershy gave a half-hearted chuckle, unsure if to chuckle or not. This action begot a raised eyebrow from Lee. Fluttershy clears her throat, and decides to address the matter, "Lee, if it's okay to ask, um, why do you always talk like that? Do you... not like me that much?"

Lee curls his lip, "SHUT YOUR BUTTER-B*TCH-MOUTH, of course I hate you and your friends!"

Fluttershy shrinks into her blanket-armor, and squeaks, "Really?"

Lee breaks into a chuckle, "Naw, I'm just playin'. Y'all are cool."

Fluttershy squints, "But... then... why?"

"That's how I talk to all my friends." Lee explains, "It means I'm comfortable with sounding like a three-headed-jackass around you guys. You should see how bad I talk down to my other friend."

Fluttershy then thought to herself, "Well, that's a simple but confusing answer... I guess it makes sense."

"You know, it doesn't smell that bad here," Lee compliments, "I figured it would smell like radioactive-ass-piss and goat-semen, but it doesn't."

"Lots of animal-friendly air-freshener!" Fluttershy cheerfully answers, warming up to the human.

Lee nods, and scans the mare's room. "So, any animals inside?"

Fluttershy shakes her head, "Nope! They are all with their families, playing in the snow or hibernating!"

"Then what was that weird black thing that ran through the hallway just a second ago?"

The question froze Fluttershy. Her eyes widen, and mouth attempts to form nonexistent words. Fluttershy quickly hides her expression when Lee gave her a strange look. "Oh... that's, um, just a cat! A cat must have gotten inside, heh, heh."

It was at that time that Lee discovered Fluttershy was incredibly bad at lying. Lee leans forward, "Fluttershy, what the f*ck is in your cottage?"

Fluttershy squirms away from his convicting gaze, "N-n-nothing! It's probably just a dog or cat! Here, let me up, and I'll t-t-take care of it! Okay...?! It won't take but a....." the panicking mare's words dropped into a whimper when she saw what stood in the doorway.

Lee took notice of her stare, and glanced at the creature that began to plod into the room. "... what the Hell is that?"
The "that" in question was a small creature. In height, it seemed no taller than Lee's knees, and no longer than a cat. It was completely covered in velvety, black fur. Its body type was the cross between a raccoon and a chimp. On it's wolf-cub-like head were a pair of floppy and pointy ears. Its arms were long and gangly, topped with sharp, hooked-claws and eerie thumbs. The most disconcerting feature of the creature were the eyes. They were milky white, showing no expression, no thought, as if they were soulless.

The creature whimpers, and hops onto the bed to cuddle with Fluttershy. Fluttershy looks to Lee pleadingly, "Please, don't tell..." but Lee had already risen from his seat.

"I'll be right back. I'm locking the door so it... and you... don't leave." with that, he reties Fluttershy's restraints, locks the door, and closes it so that it clicks in place.

In a matter of minutes, Lee returns with a book tucked under one arm. The creature and Fluttershy were still there. Lee wordlessly sits down, and opens the book titled, A Comprehensive Bestiary of All Creatures, Seemingly Myth or not. Due to the strange, monstrous occurances in his stay at Equestria, Lee learned to keep a book for these matters in his car for easy reach.

"What is that thing?"

"A bunyip..." Fluttershy tearfully mumbled.

Lee flips through the many, yellowed pages until he finds what he is looking for. Lee is greeted by the illustration of a monstrous, black creature with huge fangs and claws, gigantic muscles capable of ripping prey in half, and the same, soulless eyes.

"How much do you f*cking know about this bunyip thing? And where the Hell did you get it?"

Fluttershy shrugs as the little bunyip licks her face. "Not... too much. I just know the name and that they are really scary when they get big. Oh, and he likes eating fish! I couldn't get a book about bunyips from Twilight otherwise she'd get suspicious. This isn't the first time I've taken an animal to nurse like this... I found Jerry, that's his name, near the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters after I went with Rarity. He was hurt... and scared, I couldn't leave him!

"At first, I was surprised, bunyips are rare, and don't even live near here. They live in the Badlands, usually. So, for now, I was gonna take care of Jerry, until I can figure out what to do with him. He was in the cellar, there's a lot of space, but he must have missed me... aww..." Fluttershy turned away to enter a fit of violent coughing. She took notice of the traces of blood on the sheets from the wheezing. "But, he needs to stay away. I don't want him to get sick from me."

Lee begins to tremble with rage, "You don't have a f*cking clue, do you..?"

Fluttershy coughs up another blot of blood before voicing her concerns, "What do you mean..?"

Lee abruptly stands, and shows her the image of the vicious bunyip. "You know why this thing 'misses' you so much? You know WHY you're getting even sicker?! IT'S THAT THING!"

The infantile bunyip ignored the screaming, and continued to lick Fluttershy. Fluttershy looks to Jerry, and the entry about bunyips.

Lee continues his rant with rising intensity, "BUNYIPS. THEIR FIRST F*CKING PREY IS THEIR CARETAKER. They ain't strong enough to kill by themselves when they're babies, SO THEY HAVE TO USE POISON! EVERY TIME THAT THING LICKS YOU OR EVEN GET NEARS YOU, THE CLOSER YOU ARE TO DEATH! YOU'RE F*CKING KILLING YOURSELF! When you're weak enough from the poison... you know what it does? IT F*CKING TEARS OUT YOUR THROAT! THEN IT GROWS, AND MOVES ON, AND GROWS UNTIL IT CAN KILL BY ITSELF! CONGRATU-F*CKING-LATIONS, FLUTTERSHY, YOU DAMN NEAR KILLED YOURSELF!"

The pegasus would have done everything in her power to deny it, but she read the entry for herself and knew it to be true. Tears streamed in rivers from her eyes as she writhed against the truth. Fluttershy begins to wail. "Then what am I supposed to do?!"

Lee quickly grabs Jerry with one hand, eliciting a confused glance from the bunyip. "I'll tell you what we we're supposed to do..."

Fluttershy shakes her head, and struggles against the restraints as she realizes Lee's answer. "No! Please, no! Don't kill him! You can't, he's just a baby! Maybe he won't—"

"—maybe?! Maybe you'll die quickly, or maybe Jerry's gonna have fun with it! It's going to F*CKING EAT—" however, Lee was cut off by the sickly Fluttershy which had still managed to break free of her restraints. She leaped into the air as Lee held the perplexed bunyip far out of her reach.

Fluttershy weakly flaps her wings, but only hits the floor. She clings to Lee's leg, sobbing incessantly. "Please.... don't. There has to be another way. I still love him..."

Lee inwardly sighs as his previous resolve to run over the miserable little thing with his Altima was shattered by a crying, powerless, pegasus. He snorts, "Element of Kindness... huh...?"

Lee places Jerry onto the bed. Fluttershy looks into his eyes, hers filled with endless gratitude and tears. "We're gonna need Spike."

"My student, you said that you required my presence immediately...?" Princess Luna asks Lee as she stood before him, Fluttershy, and a small cage.

Lee nods to the princess. He bends down to unlock the cage, and pulls Jerry out with two hands. Luna squints, and steps closer to Jerry. "What is a baby bunyip doing here, so far from the Badlands...?"

"I found Jerry near the castle..." Fluttershy answers tearfully, "... I-I didn't know what I was doing when I took care of him... I didn't know he was going to... kill me."

Luna nods in understanding, "I see, fair Fluttershy, your kindness got the better of you and you merely wished to nurse an infant back to health. But, now knowing of its ontology, you wish of me to dispose of it painlessly."

Fluttershy shakes her head and hooves, "Oh, no-no-no! You can't kill Jerry, he doesn't know any better!"

Lee shrugs, "I was gonna run it over with my car... but, I gotta respect her wishes... plus, that wouldn't sit well with me. I ain't lettin' her keep it, that's for sure. I was sorta hoping you could, I dunno, find a way to take care of it without killin' it? Like, so that it won't kill no one when it grows up? It's still a baby, so maybe you could stop the whole parent mutilation it likes to do so much?"

Luna raises an eyebrow, looks to Lee, Fluttershy, and Jerry. She begins to chuckle, "I'll personally give Jerry the best of care. After all, its poison is of no effect to me, so I should be safe. And if my sister can have a mythical pet, why shouldn't I?" Luna puts a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder, "Rest assured, Fluttershy, he will be safe."

"Um... will I be able to visit from time to time?"

"Naturally."

Fluttershy throws her hooves around Luna and Lee, bringing them together for a great, big, bear-hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you soooo much!" She releases the two to turn to Jerry. "Momma's gotta go, you're gonna live with Luna now, okay? Be good for me, sweetie!" Fluttershy places a kiss on the bunyip's puzzled expression.

Princess Luna waves one last time, places Jerry on her back, and flies off.

Fluttershy was already looking better from the sickness. Her flu was gone, and no more bloody coughs! She looks to Lee with tears of joy. "Thank you."

Lee held out a fist for her to bump, "Ain't no no 'thang, dumbass ho." Fluttershy chuckles, finally understanding Lee, and bumps him back.

Lee returned to Golden Oaks Library. Spike didn't inquire of the letter he sent, but was not allowed to read, due to the fact that Lee asked specifically for him not to. Lee simply explained his day to Twilight as one where he nursed Fluttershy back to health, leaving out the bunyip-bits of course.

As Lee retired to bed, he thought that he had done good in his decision to call the princess. Lee felt good about it too. That feeling would've remained if it were not for the terrifying nightmare that followed.

Author's Notes:

Weeell, here ya go, new chapter, and some friendshippin' with Flutters. Expect this to occur with Pinkie and Rainbow soon.

BTW, that donkey will come into play for a future chapter that I will very much enjoy writing.

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