You know that someone loves you when they always swallow. I always swallow for my women.

--Something a guy at a bar said to me that made me laugh so hard I almost threw up

Did you know that, for lots of ponies at least, there’s foods that you can eat that’ll make you have weird dreams? Stuff like licorice, cotton candy, or peas, the last one is what messes up Aunty Celestia, but the point is that these foods can make you wake up next morning thinking exactly what the hay did I just dream about?

...Oh? What’s mine? Well, the food that makes my dreams weird is hay bacon, something I had been having a lot of recently, so it was only a matter of time that I woke up in a cold sweat…

“Oh sweet Faust, keep that butter away from me!” I shrieked, almost falling out of my bed as my eyes snapped open, my mind going a mile-a-minute as I looked around, panting.

Oh thank goodness, that was just a dream, I thought relieved, falling back into my pillow.

I blinked in the darkness. “I have to stop eating hay bacon…” I muttered, my ears perking up at the quiet breathing beside me.

There, holding a pile of pamphlets like they were his favorite teddy bear, was Ares, his hair mussed up in beginnings of bed-mane.

The sight made me smile, and I leaned over to carefully take all of the paper out of his hands. “Silly human,” I muttered, using a quick spell to pull the covers over him.

With a slight grunt, I threw the covers over my body and tried to go back to sleep, but like what usually happens when somepony tries to go back to sleep at night, I had to use the bathroom.

“Stupid dream scaring me,” I grumbled, shuffling my hooves toward my bathroom. “There’s not even a reason for those butter ponies to fly in the air like they did…”

… Like I said, weird dreams…

Anyway, after I took care of my business and got a glass of water, I noticed that Aunty Luna’s moon illuminated my bed well enough to see my sleeping friend, who had thrown off his covers on his upper body, giving me a good view of his chest and face.

I smiled, imagining how pretty those green eyes of his would be in this light before I blinked in confusion, a blush creeping onto my face.

Boy, I must be really tired… I thought before rubbing an eye and making my way back to the bed, crawling in. Ares and I should probably sleep in… We’ve been getting up early lately…

I closed my eyes, smiling when I felt Ares roll over and sleepily grab at me. “Aren’t I a better cuddle buddy than a bunch of papers?” I asked, slowly drifting back to sleep while I rolled around so I could nuzzle my friend’s neck.

At least, that was supposed to happen.

What happened, as I rolled over with my eyes closed, was that I felt a pair of soft lips touch mine, along with a pair of hands sleepily pulling me closer to a warm body.

My eyes snapped open as a sleeping Ares continued the impromptu kiss, my mind blanking out for a few seconds.

...This is happening, I thought calmly/tiredly/in panic as I just laid there. I’m letting Ares sleep-kiss me…

I tried to wiggle away from the kiss but found that I couldn’t, the human’s arms keeping me in place for a few more seconds before, rubbing our noses together before muttering some nonsense, he pulled me snugly against his chest.

As I laid there, in my friend’s arms, staring at nothing and everything, I sighed, wrapping my hooves around him and giving him a nuzzle.

“I really hope you’re sleeping,” I muttered, not pulling away when he nuzzled me again. For some reason, the way I said that sounded wrong, but I continued. “Because if you’re awake and taking a pass at me, I’m going to remind you that I’m married…”

… Right?...

@~~~@

Though the celestial sisters were legendary in regard to their kindness, generosity, and willingness to sit down and listen to any pony’s problems, there was one thing that they held almost above all other things, an event that you’d be hard pressed to take them away from for any reason.

Tea time.

Before Luna’s banishment, the two would drop everything that they were doing—within reason of course—and go into Celestia’s room for some Saddle Arabian brew, along with maybe a sandwich or biscuit., and just discuss the next hour away while drinking.

Even when her sister was enduring her banishment, Celestia kept up the vigil, going to her room at the same time, by herself, sitting on the same chair , and just letting her thoughts wander while she sipped.

Tea-time was a time of comfort, a time when you could just leave all of your daily troubles at the door and just have a decent cup of tea. It was theirs and theirs only, and that’s how they liked it.

Though Celestia was seriously considering letting Cadence in on their little get-together; if not for the company, she would be able to just sit down and tell her elders anything that was troubling her.

“Has the tea been tasting off to you, Sister?” Luna asked quietly, stirring more milk into her cup—like she always did—after taking a test sip.

The white alicorn blinked, looking up at her sister. “Oh, I’m sorry, Luna, I was a million miles away, what were you saying?”

Luna raised an eyebrow slightly but didn’t comment on that as she took another sip. “We asked if the tea has been tasting off to you lately,” She made a slight face as she swished the liquid in her mouth. “For some reason, it has tasted… off lately to Us.”

Celestia looked down at her kettle. “I could get one of the servants to bring another—”

“Nono,” Luna sighed, already weary about the hoops she knew she’d have to jump through so she could speak to her sister about what was happening. The princess of the night might have loved her sister but she really couldn’t stand how much she liked to beat around the bush. “It’s not a bad taste; it just tastes… funny to Us.”

The older sister just hummed thoughtfully, keeping her mask on as she thought the situation over and how she was going to address it. Tactfully, She thought, taking another sip of her tea. Luna may not like it, but one needs to be tactful when talking about other ponies lives.

As always, she was the first to make the first move.

“So, Luna, how has your night been lately?” Not the strongest, but it was just a probe; as all beginnings are.

Luna shrugged, reaching over and plucking a cookie from a tray. “It is fine, Sister, though our travels through the dream realm have been… interesting.”

It took all of Celestia’s willpower not to sigh. It seems that Luna is tired of my dodging already…

Even though Luna had kept her word with Ares, it really didn’t take that long for the princess of the sun to figure out what was going on; an immortal with several thousand years of experience could see a person’s emotions as plain as day if she bothered to look hard enough. Even if that person was an alien from another dimension.

In fact, Celestia might’ve been a little too adept at it, which was why the two sisters needed to have this little talk.

“Oh?”

Luna rolled her eyes, an action that was pointedly ignored. “Sister, could we please just speak of this? The two of us may need to intervene if—”

“We will do no such thing,” Celestia interrupted, gently but firmly, while refilling her cup. “It is for them to sort out among themselves.”

Luna snorted, setting down the cup roughly on the table. “If you wish neutrality, Sister, then why have thou been in the dreamscape?”

The elder alicorn flinched, her plan on talking to her sister in tatters. “Luna, I—”

“And why have thee peered into Shining and Ares’s dreams if you want them to ‘sort this out among themselves’?” Luna slammed her hoof on the table, almost knocking their cups over. “We must act! One word from you, Sister, one action, could solve this!”

Luna was about to say more but her sister’s eyes stopped her. There was desperation in them, desperation, fear, and even a little pain.

“I know, Luna, I could solve this,” the white alicorn whispered, looking down into her cup. “I could get Ares to leave the castle—maybe live with Twilight in Ponyville-- if I wished. I could order Shining to come back here to settle with his wife if I so chose,” For the first time in a very long time, Celestia slumped in exhaustion.

“But to be honest with you, Luna, I no longer wish to toy with anypony else’s lives--I’ve found that it disgusts me to shape one’s life like so much clay-- especially if that life is a friend’s…”

Without saying a word, Luna rose from her seat and made her way around the table, wrapping her sister in a wing hug. “Then we will not do anything if you wish, Tia,” she whispered, nuzzling her sister. “We will let them sort it out among themselves, even if We do not like it.”

The two stayed in the hug, trying to enjoy the quiet comfort, until Luna said, “Though, Sister, our plan still stands…”

Celestia snorted, rolling her eyes. “No, Luna, we are not going to make Ares our consort.”

“…But he has fingers and we have witnessed his—”

“No, Luna.”

“… We will still look through the archives for an immortality spell, Sister. Thou may not want fingers but we will not be picky if they are thrown our way.”

%$@@$%

“—And then you keep kneading the dough for ten minutes and we’ll put the bread back into the pan to let it rise.”

I sighed, rolling a slightly achy wrist while Ares and I listened to the royal kitchens head chef go on about bread-making. “And then we wait for an hour, right?” I asked, blowing a bit of my mane out of my face.

The chef’s smile was so wide I thought he was going to break his jaw. “Right you are, Princess!” he said cheerfully. “You and Mr. Are—” he stopped to look at Ares, who looked like he was asleep, his face pressed against is half-made bit of dough while he snored quietly.

“MR. ARES!”

With a surprised yelp the human was up, his eyes wide in panic as he grabbed his metal bowl. “You’re not gonna get me, you scaly fucks!” he roared, tossing the bowl as hard as he could.

Right into the chef’s face.

With a yelp the stallion hit the floor as Ares, somehow someway, slipped, also hitting the ground with a rather painful thud, the two groaning in pain as I also hit the floor, laughing.

“BRAHAHAHAHA oh sweet Celestia, I can’t breathe!”

*snort* I’m sorry, I was just remembering the look on Ares’s face.

I would’ve kept on laughing too, if I didn’t get a face full of flour.

“Ack!—what the hay?!”

Ares— who was now on his feet and had a big bag of flour in his hand that he had gotten from somewhere—looked down at me in irritation. “Watching folks get hurt isn’t funny, Candy,” he said with a little grin while he inched the top of the flour bag down at me.

My eyes widened. “Ares, don’t,” I warned, trying to wiggle away. “Don’t you—”

Whoosh!

Why I didn’t think he wouldn’t dump the stuff on me, I have no idea. Why I didn’t think to just use a spell to shield myself, I couldn’t tell you. But I knew what I was going to do as I looked up at him, my entire body white.

“I’M GOING TO BUCKING GET YOU FOR THAT!” I roared with a little smile on my face as my horned glowed. The look on Ares’s face as every bit of flour in the kitchen was teleported around me almost made me laugh.

Almost, I still had to enact by revenge.

I watched the human as he slowly backed away from me as I rose to my hooves, his hands making calming gestures. “Now, Candy,” he said soothingly as he tried to back toward the exit. “Let’s put that down. We don’t wanna piss off the Chef, isn’t that right, Chef pony?”

The chief just groaned as I shut the doors behind the human, the big, thick door making that satisfying thumping noise as they shut.

Sitting smugly on my rump I pointed toward him, making a come-hither motion. “Come on,” I said. “Just get over here and take your lickings like a stallion. I really don’t want to make that much of a mess with this flour.”

He just looked over at me for a few seconds, his mind churning. “Just one bag?” he said hopefully.

I hummed in consideration before nodding, and, with another spell, only one bag of flour remained. “Alright, just one bag, now get over here.”

With a sigh he took off his shirt and shoes and made his way over to me, squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw. He didn’t blink as I levitated the flour over his head. “Bring it.”

As slowly as I could, I turned over the flour, the white substance coming in bits at first before I jerked the whole thing on his head, the cloud of flour forcing my smiling self to back away from a coughing Ares.

“There, we’re even,” I said smugly, sitting on my rump and watching the human try to get the flour off his face. “Now, there’s your punishment for getting me and falling asleep in the middle of our baking lessons.”

“I’m the one *cough* that *cough* signed us up *cough* for this!”

I nodded. “You did, and that means you should at least be able to stay awake for the whole thing.”

Finally shaking himself like a dog—adorably, I might add—he finally got enough of the flour off his body to move around without making a mess—well, a big mess. Frowning, Ares made his way over to the chef and gently picking him up.

“Let’s get this guy to the ward,” he looked down at his now ghost-like body with mild amusement. “Then we can clean ourselves up.”

Before I could say anything, Ares leaned down and grabbed a handful of flour and tossing it into my face. “Hey, do me a favor and grab my shoes, will ya?”he asked mirthfully before jogging away.

Coughing, I rasped, “Bucking bucking buck!”

“I’ll take that as a yes!”

I blinked, shaking my head hard to get the flour off of my body the best I could before I glared at Ares’s shoes. I should fill those things with flour, I thought before shaking my head and raising my nose in the air. I was a princess! I didn’t need to do petty things like that!

…So I filled his shoes with sugar.

Yep, putting sugar in your friend’s clothes isn’t petty; I just thought that he needed to be a little sweeter is all.

My noble task completed, I trotted out of the kitchen with a smile on my face, sitting on my rump to wait for my friend while I ignored the gawking ponies that passed me. You’d think that they have seen an alicorn covered in flour before, but I guess not.

Well, that was fun, I thought while humming a little tune before a worrying thought presented itself. Wait, why the hay was Ares tired like that? Didn’t the two of us sleep like ten hours today?

Even though it seems a silly little thing to worry about—ponies have trouble sleeping all the time—but, since Ares almost put himself in the hospital due to exhaustion once, it was a perfectly reasonable concern.

I keep making sure that he’s not walking around all night, so is he just sitting there, staring up at the ceiling?.... Or does he get up to look at all of those papers so we have stuff to do the next day?... I thought, shifting around in worry while I ruffled my feathers. The poor dear’s been working himself to the bone to keep me busy…

Which was true, for about two weeks Ares and I spent almost every waking hour together doing stuff; each one of these activities usually consisting of silly things. One day it was acrobatic swimming, another was extreme gardening—which was actually really fun since Ares knew all about it—stuff like that.

After finishing whatever activity we were doing that day, the two of us would shower and fall asleep—together since I really didn’t want to be alone—it was perfectly reasonable to think Ares might be working himself too hard.

Maybe I can set up something to help Ares rela—

“Candy, you alright there? You look like you’re having a stroke…”

I blinked in surprise and looked up to see a shirtless Ares looking down at me in mild amusement and concern. “What?” I asked slowly before shaking my head. “What did you say, Ares? I was a thousand miles away…”

He just chuckled, walking over and patting me on the head. “Nothing, Candy,” he looked around me. “Where did you put my shoes?”

I just quietly pointed back into the kitchen, my mind still milling on helping my friend. Maybe he just isn’t eating right… I don’t think those muscles on his stomach should be sticking out like th—

“Oh you bitch!”

I jumped when a shoe hit my flank, sugar flying everywhere as I looked over my shoulder to see Ares dumping the sugar out of his other shoe. “Do you know how hard it is to clean these things?”

I just groaned, trying to use a wing to get the smelly and sticky sugar off of my flank. “Alright, alright, truce, truce,” I muttered while he walked to my side to get his shoe. “If we don’t stop this right now one of the maids is going to kill us…”

The human looked thoughtful for a second before he offered a fist to me. “Alright, truce,” he said, accepting my hoofbump before the two of us started down the hallway.

“So where are we going to wash off?” I asked, frowning when I felt sugar slowly work its way under my wing. “Are we going to my room?”

Ares snorted. “You mean our room?”

I couldn’t help but blush slightly while I nudged him. “You don’t have to sleep there,” I said bravely, silently hoping that he wouldn’t do just that…. It would’ve felt wrong for nopony but me to be in my bed… alone.

I tensed when I felt a hand on the top of my head, but relaxed when Ares started scratching my ears. “I couldn’t do that to you, Cadence,” he said calmly while I snorted in irritation.

“You know, you don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass,” I said slowly, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. “It’s sweet that you’re trying to make me feel better, Ares, but if you’re hurting yourself to keep me entertained…”

Ares just scratched my ears again. “I’m not treating you like glass, Candy,” he said before smiling. “I’m the one that needs the support. I mean look at me; what am I going to do now for a job since I’m stuck here?”

He sighed dramatically, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile as he continued. “How can a guy be a gardener and make a decent living when you ponies use fucking magic to grow everything?! So I thought about being one of those activity directors; it’s a good idea for me to keep my opinions open.”

I had to cover my mouth with a hoof to keep from laughing. “An activities director?”

The human nodded. “Of course!... If Luna doesn’t get to me first…”

The two of us turned the corner, to the royal chambers for some reason.

Deciding to keep this silly conversation going, I asked, “What about Aunty Luna?”

Ares stopped, looking at me so seriously that I thought something was wrong. “That aunt of yours might be trying to make me her sex slave.”

I blinked before I bit my lip. “R-Really?”

Ares looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. “Y-yep, she even bought me spanks the other day, big, black, rubber ones with like thirty z-zippers.”

For what seemed like hours the two of us just looked at each other, both of us trying our hardest not to laugh, until I let out a little squeak. Ares then snorted, and it wasn’t long before we were propped up against the wall, laughing until tears were streaming down our faces.

“Oh god, oh god, I can’t breathe,” Ares said, falling over. “I’m gonna throw up!”

The two of us laughed until our voices started to crack, that was when I was able to reign myself in. I smiled, wiping a tear from my cheek as I looked down at Ares, who was looking up at me with an eyebrow raised.

There’s that funny feeling again… I thought before walking over to my friend and giving him a nuzzle. “Seriously, Ares,” I said quietly. “Please don’t keep yourself up just because of something neither of us can control…”

He nodded while his smile dimmed slightly. “You don’t have anything silly like that to worry about, Candy,” he said while I picked him up with my magic and placed him back on his feet. “I’ve just been having a little trouble sleeping is all.”

Like you had the other week with Shining? I thought to myself, letting Ares lead me to Aunty Celestia’s room.

“…Ares?”

“Yeah, Candy?”

“….Why are you trying to break into Aunty Celestia’s room?”

Ares stopped fiddling with the door lock to look back at me before he shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. The two of us are just going to use the Princesses’ pool-sized tub to swim around a little.”

I hummed thoughtfully. “Alright… then why do you have a lock pick,” I thought about it some more. “Actually, where did you get a lock pick in the first place?!”

“You’re an accomplice to a break-in,” the human said simply while I gawked. “Now do me a favor and be my lookout, I think I almost got this lock…. Hard to do my ass…. Batponies don’t know what they’re talking about.”

I tried to pull the crazy human away from the door. “Ares,” I hissed, now conscious about us getting caught. “Stop that right now! We’re going to—”

Click!

“And there we go!” Ares cheerfully said, reaching up to open the door. It slid open quietly while he looked back at me with a mischievous smile. “Are you coming? Cause with or without you I’m gonna swim in this sweet pool-bathtub.”

Without waiting for my answer, Ares vanished through the room and into the dark room while I trotted in place in panic. Thatstupidbuckinghuman’sgonnagetusintrooooouble!

I bit back a yelp when I heard multiple faucets being turned on. “Ooooohh, I’m going to get into so much trouble for this…” I muttered, looking back and forth before running into the dark room and closing the door as quickly as possible.

“Ares!” I hissed, squinting while trying to find the light. “Turn off that water so we can get out of here!” And then we’ll have a little talk about how and the buck you unlocked that door…

“Why are you whisper shouting?”

I struggled not to yelp when Ares materialized beside me, the human looking down at me with a slightly befuddled expression. “Did I leave my shirt in the kitchen?”

I ignored his question, instead glaring up at him and nudging my head at the door. “Stop messing around and let’s get out of here before—”

Click!

I froze when I heard the door behind us slowly start to open, panic welling inside me when I saw a white horn poke through. “Hello? Is somepony there?”

As quietly as I could, I hopped a few feet until I was by Auntie’s bed and hopped over the thing while I tried not to breathe too heavily. Oh please don’t find—

“Hello, Princess! How’s it going?”

I facehoofed. You’d think that somepony that know’s how to pick locks would know when to hide… I thought in irritation when, to my mild surprise, I heard my Aunty laugh.

“Hello, Ares,” Aunty Celestia said mirthfully. “What brings you to my chambers?”

Ares cleared his throat while I poked my head over the bed to look at the two. “Well, Cadence and I had a little food fight in the kitchens—”

“I heard. The maids are still cleaning it up,” Aunty looked up at him hopefully. “Might I ask where the treats you promised me are?”

The human looked at her with slight guilt. “Yeah… About that… I-I accidently conked the chef on the head and had to take him the hospital ward.”

Aunty gasped in concern while Ares reached over and started playing with her mane. “Oh my. Is he going to be alright?”

I couldn’t help but feel something while I watched the human play with my Aunt’s ears. “He’s fine,” he told her, bring up another hand to pet her neck, earning him a pleased coo. “They told me that he was just going to wake up with a headache.”

Aunty nodded her head slowly, a small smile creeping on her face while I huffed quietly. “Oh say, please keep doing that,” she murmured, one of her eyes slowly scanning the room. “Now, what were you saying about you and Cadence?”

“The two of us were just about to use that big ass tub of yours—”

“Language, Ares.”

“—For a swim. I heard that that was always the best thing for sore muscles,” Ares looked over at me. “Isn’t that right, Candy?”

My head almost ducked down when the two’s heads snapped to where I was, but I slowly rose from my hiding place to look at my aunt with an awkward smile.

“Oh, hello Aunty, hehe, how was your day?”

My aunt gave me a little smile before nudging Ares. “Ares, did you break into my room again?”

“…Yes, ma’am.”

“…Luna’s guards gave you another lock pick, didn’t they?”

“…Yes…”

Aunty Celestia snorted, using a spell to magick her regalia off her body. “Well, no harm done I suppose,” she told us, making her way to her bathroom. “Now, since this is my room, do you mind if I join you? It’s been a while since I’ve used my bath as a swimming pool.”

My aunt giggled foalishly. “To be honest with you; I never really thought of it being used like that before…”

A blush exploded across my face as the human shrugged. “If you want,” he looked toward me. “Is that alright with you, Candy?”

“W-well, um, I-I don’t—” I took a deep breath when Aunty and Ares looked at me in concern. “It’s just a little weird—”

“Weird,” Aunty Celestia said questionably. “Whatever do you mean, Cadence? We’re just swimming,” she looked over my flour-covered body. “...And maybe the two of you could stand for a wash…”

Ares patted my aunt on the head again—though he looked a little uncomfortable himself. “It’s not like I’m just going to rip off my clothes and jump your guy’s bones. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve done something like this before.”

I blinked slowly before sighing, while I ignored a slight bout of embarrassment. What are you freaking out about? I thought to myself, giving them a smile and starting to take off my horseshoes and crown. You’ve bathed with your Aunt before; this isn’t a big deal…

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I said, trotting toward the bathroom. “I’m just being silly. Come on; let’s get this gunk cleaned off us.”

The two shared another look before Ares walked over to the bed and started to take his socks off, Aunty following me into her gigantic bathroom.

Because of a few spells that I couldn’t even guess at, Aunty Celestia and Luna somehow managed to fit a bathhouse in each of their bathrooms, it being taken up by a pair of the biggest personal bathtub’s that are probably in existence.

‘Why was the thing as big as a swimming pool?’ you may be asking yourself. Well, I think Aunty told me that it had something to do with her bathroom originally being somewhere where all of Canterlot’s nobles could relax and have a nice bath… And other slightly weird things. Orgy related things...

Luckily, it wasn’t that deep and the water was perfect as I slowly made my way into the crystal clear water, sighing when I felt the sugar and flour float off me.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Aunty Celestia asked me, slowly wading the water with a little smile on her face. “It may be a little behind the times but it’s one of the few luxuries in this castle that I actually enjoy.”

I giggled, wiggling around on the water. “Too bad we don’t have one back in the Crystal Empire,” I said, paddling around with a giggle. “I bet you float around this thing for hours, Aunty.”

“Cadence,” I stopped to look up at her when her tone turned serious. “What’s wrong, Honey?”

I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, Aunty?” I asked.

The older alicorn walked over and draped a wing over me, nuzzling my cheek. “You just seem a little on edge, Sweetie.”

I leaned onto her. “I’m fine, Aunty,” I assured, looking over my shoulder to see Ares, in his shorts, whistling a happy tune as he hopped into the bathtub and started to swim around. “You should go ask Ares that question though,” I told her, concerning working its way into my voice. “I think he’s staying up at night again; he fell asleep during our thing with the chef.”

Aunty Celestia raised an eyebrow, looking at the human out of the corner of her eye. “Oh? I may need to have a little talk to him about that,” she tucked her wing back against her body and gave me another nuzzle. “Just enjoy the water and try to relax for a little bit, Sweetie. Do a lap or two; it might clear your head.”

I nodded before rolling onto my back, letting the pool’s gentle little waves carry me around while I groaned in bliss.

Ohhhhh this is really nice, I thought, splashing around. I should really open up an indoor swimming pool when I get back home…

I stopped at the thought for a second. Now that Ares had all but forced Aunty Celestia and Luna to stop looking for his world, where and the heck was he going to stay?

Well, with me of course! I thought almost instantly. It’s not like I can’t not have him stay in the castle with us… I’m sure the castle staff will lose it if he doesn’t come back with me…

I opened my eye when I heard water shifting around and, awkwardly paddling my way around, I saw Ares hugging Aunty Celestia; the alicorn’s wings wrapped snuggly around his body as she held him. That feeling started to well up inside me again.

“Don’t worry, Princess, I’m fine,” I heard Ares say. “It’s just kinda hard getting used to sleeping normally again.”

Aunty Celestia nuzzled him. “Don’t you lie to me young man.”

Even though this was starting to feel like a conversation that I shouldn’t be eavesdropping on, I listened anyway.

“I’m not, Princess, I promise,” he assured while she looked up at him, her eyes slightly narrowing before she sighed.

“Alright, Ares….”

The two held the hug a little longer while I slowly kicked myself toward them.

Ares looked over at me, smiling. “Aw, Candy, you look you adorable doggy paddling like that.”

I rolled my eyes while the human started to wash the grime off his body. “Shut up,” I muttered, ignoring my Aunt’s giggle. “Aunty, do you have any soap lying around?” Looked over my body.

“This swimming is nice and all but I should probably get the sugar out of my coat before it gets lodged somewhere uncomfortable….”

Aunt blinked. “Oh, of course!” She said, her horn lighting up. “I’ll get us each a bar of soap.” A bottle of soap winked into existence beside me. Thanking her I snatched it out of the air, along with a rag.

The three of us lapsed into silence while we cleaned ourselves.

“Ares,” Aunty finally said. “Could you be a dear and wash my back? It’s always such a bother to do it myself..”

He shrugged, grabbing a rag she tossed at him. “Sure, just some over here, I’ll scrub you down.”

I watched in fascination while my aunt was scrubbed down into a soapy lather, the older alicorn smiling while Ares hummed cheerfully. “Do me a favor, Princess, and lift yourself up a little bit so I can get at your belly.”

She smiled before lifting herself on her back legs slightly. “Be careful down there, Ares, my stomach is very sensitive…”

Ares just snorted. “I’ll be careful, you baby…” He stopped to look over at me. “Are you alright there, Cadence?”

Weelllll, you’re scrubbing my aunt like she’s a big dog, but other than that everything’s great, I thought before blinking. “Yeah… I’m alright…”

Aunty Celestia opened an eye to look over at me while Ares continued his scrubbing. “Cadence, dear, why don’t you come over and let Ares get behind your wings,” she giggled when he hit a sensitive spot under her foreleg. “This actually feels really nice.”

I opened my mouth to tell her no when, for some reason, I stopped, nodding my head. “Sure… If that’s okay with you, Ares…” I murmured, slowly walking over toward them.

Ares looked unsure for a second before before gulping. “Sure…” he said after an oddly long time. “I’ll fix your guys’ wings too while we’re here if you want.”

I just blushed while Aunty hummed. “Washing, preening, you know, if you’re looking for a job, Ares, then I could set up a royal washer position for you.”

Ares quietly laughed, giving her belly a quick tickle before turning to me, a soapy rag in his hand. “I’ll think about it, Princess. As long as that sister of yours keeps her hooves to herself and the pay’s good.”

For a second, I thought he meant it, and, oddly, a feeling of body-freezing panic hit me. It must have shown on my face because Ares slowly reached up and played with my ears. “Jesus, Candy, there’s no need to freak out,” he said soothingly while I loosened up.

Oh thank Faust he didn’t mean it… Wait, why did I think that?!

“We’re just a bunch of friends showering together—like a sports team or a bunch of weirdo’s—and I have these here shorts on so just calm down and…”

I groaned as he trailed off, Ares slowly dumping some warm water on my back before he started to lather my back.

“There you go,” he said as I closed my eyes with a little smile on my face. “Now do me a favor and spread those wings for me, will ya?”

I did as he asked, smiling when I felt those fingers of his softly tickle my body as he ran them around in a circular motion, using one hand—the one with the rag—to soap me up, and the other to rub it in more.

Oohhhh~!

It was a difficult sensation to describe to you, mostly because I don’t have fingers, but imagine a bunch of really warm, strong feathers running all over your body. And it was, honestly, bucking awesome.

All too soon though, it was over, Ares taking a step away from me and saying, “Alright, there you are, Candy,” he said awkwardly, almost as if he was afraid, while I panted, my wings drooping into the water. “You can rinse off now if you want.”

I was about to tell him to get the buck back here when I noticed something rather…embarrassing…

Well, you see… the hands and um… Iwasalittleheated!

Thank Faust that I was partially underwater or Aunt would probably be able to smell it… Though that didn’t stop a blush from exploding on my face. Just calm down, just calm down, I thought over and over while I clenched by back legs—my nethers tingling slightly-- trying to cool myself off while Ares started to preen Aunty’s wings.

“You need to keep those wings straight, Princess. Every time you fold them back up like that you bend those feathers there.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ares. I was just trying to dry them off quicker.”

The human hummed while I wiggled uncomfortably, taking deep, calming breaths. “Why don’t we get out of this tub then? I’ll dry you guys off and we can get back to that.”

Aunty looked up at him while I sighed in relief, finally calming myself down. “Wait, Ares, did you wash yourself off?”

Ares looked down at his still slightly dirty body. “A little bit, but I could use a little more scrubbing. Just give me a seco—”

“Nono,” Aunty interrupted, levitating a rag over. “Let me; it’s the least I can do.”

…And now I was getting a little heated again.

What the buck is wrong with you?! I thought, prying my eyes from wandering over Are’s dripping body-- which was plenty visibly even with his shorts on. Ares is YOUR FRIEND and you’re MARRIED, you hussy!

“Cadence, could you please pass me some shampoo?” Aunty asked, almost making me freeze again. “I have it in that bin over there next to you.”

“W-What?”

Aunty and Ares looked at each other before the older alicorn nudged her head at the various soaps that were right next to me.

“Could you please get me some shampoo, I’m going to—”

“No, not shampoo,” I said instantly while I looked away from them. “Ares washed his hair the other day; just use soap,” still running on automatic, I looked over the soaps and magicked her one of the liquid shampoos.

“Here, this one will work,” I muttered still flipping out.

You’ve seen him naked like ten times! In fact, half of the castle’s seen him naked! Why are you acting like a filly in heat?

Thanking me, Aunty squirted a generous dollop of soap into her rag before looking back at Ares. “Alright, take those off,” she said, pointing toward his shorts.

For the first time since he was in here, Ares blushed, his hands going to his pants protectively. “Um… no thanks,” he said while cautiously eyeing Aunty Celestia.

She just rolled her eyes. “Stop being a baby, Ares, and just take those off. You know with those on that I wouldn’t be able to properly clean you.”

“My bits are there!” The human argued before narrowing his eyes. “Wait… you’re not Luna just trying some crazy thing to rape me, are you?”

Aunty just facehoofed. “Ares, now isn’t the time to be shy,” she said soothingly. “I’ve bathed Cadence over there, I’ve let my sister wash me like you just did, and I’ve seen more of those,” she pointed at his crotch. “Then you could guess at. So stop being a baby and take those off so I can properly wash you.”

Now, I know that Aunty didn’t mean any of this in a sexual way—She was probably just in motherly mode—but it was just so weird. I mean, I know ponies are usually naked and Ares would still be in his boxers, but....

Grumbling, the human did as the white alicorn asked, leaning over, red-faced, and pulling his shorts down and off and tossing them onto the ‘shore’, revealing boxers that may as well have not been there--for all of the concealing they did .

“There,” he said, spreading his arms while I gawked, slowly starting to back away in panic. “You happy now?”

I cleared my throat awkwardly while my rump hit the far edge of the bathtub’s wall. “Hey, Aunty, Ares,” I shouldn’t have said anything at all, because all I got was an eyeful when they turned toward me with questioning expressions. “I just remembered that I had something important to do,” It took considerable willpower to keep myself from looking lower in Ares’s direction. “So, sorry, but I have to go now.”

Celestia nodded. “Alright, Dear, don’t let us keep you,” she said while slowly rubbing Ares’s arm down.

With a final red-faced nod, I spread my wings and lifted myself into the air and toward the door.

@$~~$@

Celestia exhaled the breath that she didn’t know she was holding as her niece flew out of her bathroom. Well, that answers that, she thought calmly while Ares looked down at her in concern.

“What the hell’s wrong with her?” the human asked, lifting up his arms to let her scrub his underarms. “And quit scrubbing so hard; you’re gonna rub me raw.”

The alicorn blinked. “Oh, I’m sorry, Ares,” I wonder if public bathing really is something normal for humans or if Ares just doesn’t care… She blinked. No, he just cares if my niece is around, she corrected herself. It was true, as soon as Cadence left the once slightly body-shy and nervous human seemed at ease, he even went so far as to close his eyes while she scrubbed him.

“Turn around please.”

She scrubbed his back carefully, paying special attention to his neck and shoulders, but staying away from his anything below the belt--she still hadn’t figured out how to cross that bridge tactfully yet.

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, she said, “Turn around again.”

“Why you didn’t get my front first the whole way is a mystery,” the human mused, doing as she asked.

The princess hummed a little while she continued, getting his chest and his stomach before gingerly going downward.

“Ares, could you--” she started awkwardly, eyes on his boxers.

He just sighed, yanking them down almost without a thought and tossing them away.

“Watch my boys,” Ares said calmly, still looking at the door. “You squeeze one of them and I’m going to drown you.”

The alicorn chuckled, getting the area before dropping the rag into the water. “Alright there, I’m done,” she said, making her way toward out of the giant tub with Ares following after he rinsed the suds off his body.

“Thanks for getting my back,” he said while she hoofed him a towel, a distant look in his eyes.

Celestia just smiled, trying to keep that mask that she had made herself the last couple of days on. “Thank you for washing me down, Ares,” she said, nudging his side. “And I’m sorry for pushing you so hard; I just wanted to make sure you were clean.”

And to see if Cadence is leaning toward where I think she’s leaning…

For a brief second, the alicorn couldn’t help but run an appreciative eye over her friend, over the muscles in his arms and stomach before looking at his flank.

A few choice words and I could fix this, she thought, watching him use another towel to dry his hair. A sway of the tail, a bat of the eyes, a choice word or two… And Ares would make an interesting mate…

For a brief, selfish moment, she imagined being held by her friend, the two of them sharing a bed together, those green eyes of his greeting her every morning...

Celestia blinked when she felt a hand pat her face. “Hey, Princess,” Ares said, making sure that his towel was wrapped securely around his waist. “I’m gonna go see what’s eating Cadence.”

She just smiled lightly. “Aright, Ares,” she said, hopping up on her hind legs and wrapping Ares in a hug—much to his surprise. “You do that,” Awkwardly, the human patted her on the back.

“Are you alright there, Princess?” he asked in confusion.

That’s a very good question… She just nuzzled him. “I’m fine, Ares,” she nudged her head toward the door. “Now go and see if my niece is alright.”

Nodding, Ares walked quickly through the door while the princess used a towel to dry her mane. “Ares,” she called. “Don’t walk out without those clothes of yours.”

“Do me a favor and get those cleaned,” he called back, opening the door to see a pony that he really didn’t want to see at the moment.

“Oh…hello Dust Bunny…”

“Unnnfffff!”

Celestia heard him sigh loudly.

“Do we really have to do this here?”

“…But that flank though…”

The alicorn couldn’t help but giggle quietly when she heard Ares’s heavy footsteps echo off the hall.

“I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave!”

~~~@@~~~

I paced my room, trying to figure out what was going on with me today.

Alright, my heat isn’t due for a few weeks so that isn’t it…. Maybe I just really miss Shining and I’m portraying those feelings on someone else…

I hummed nervously, sitting down on my rump while I quietly panicked. But why Ares?!

Not knowing what to do this myself, I got up and started pacing again.

Sure, he’s a great stallion and he looks kind of cute and he’s—

I groaned, facehoofing. “Why am I even thinking this?” I said aloud. “I’m married… I’m married…”

… Was I now?

My blinked at the stray thought. Would Shining really want to have a mare like me after he came back from his soul-searching?

I slowly crawled into my bed, sniffling sadly while I grabbed a pillow and hugged it. I couldn’t help but think of how differently the stallion and I were back before we met Ares.

Were we really that different?... I had to say yes.

Was it better or for worse?... That was the question.

I continued to try to rationalize this.

Alright, think about this, think about this, I thought, closing my eyes. You—

I froze when I heard a knock on my door.

“Cadence, can I come in?” A muffled voice that I knew all too well said through the door.

My eyes snapped open. “A-Ares?” I said lamely before biting my lip in panic. Pleasedon’tcomein!

There was silence before I heard the doorknob turning. “Cadence, I’m coming in.”

For a brief second I was going to tell him to go, but something stopped me as Ares poked his head through the door with a concerned expression. “Cadence?”

I wiped my eyes and sniffled, giving him my best smile. “Yes, Ares?” I said a little too loudly; in that fake way where everypony knows that there’s something wrong with you but you still try to hide it.

Please just go, I thought, hugging the pillow tighter. …Please just stay…

I watched almost in panic as he slowly, cautiously made his way over to the bed—fully clothed now, thank Faust—before sitting down on the edge.

What happened after that was the oddest thing. He didn’t ask me if I was okay, or if I needed anything, he just sat there, looking down into his hands almost sadly.

“…I’m sorry, Cadence,” he said quietly, which made me raise my head up from the bed in confusion.

“For what?” I blurted out.

He just continued to look down at his hands, slowly opening and closing them. “For whatever made you flip out,” he waved his hands around. “I should’ve asked the princess to stop with that whole weird ‘stripping me’ thing, so i’m sorry for that…”

I didn’t realized that I had crawled out from my fetal position and made my way over to Ares until my wing was wrapped around him. “It’s not your fault...”

I couldn’t help but smile at his relieved look, Ares reaching under the bed to pull out a bunch of papers.

“You know,” he said before yawning. “There’s this really neat art thing that’s coming out tomorrow.

I blinked owlishly as he continued

“I was up last night and I heard a few ponies talking about it; I thought we could go see what’s going on there if you want.”

...He really HAS been staying up all night to look up things for us to do… I thought, confronted with how I felt about that.

“--Or we could go play putt-putt golf; there’s a really nice place down in the southern part of the city--”

He’s been losing sleep because he wants me to be happy…

“Or we could just go out to the lake and--”

I don’t remember bringing the human into a full hug, nuzzling his cheek, but there I was again, hugging my friend as that sensation that I was slowly starting to recognize resurfaced.

Ares patted me in the back. “Are you alright there, Cadence?” he asked me, though I ignored him.

We stayed like that until, with a little smile, I said, “Ares, you remembered when you offered to preen me in Aunty’s bathroom?”

Ares blinked before nodding slowly. “Yeah, why?”

I batted him in the head with a wing gently, the two of us chuckling, before I got up and offered him a wing while setting my head in his lap.

“Go on,” I said teasingly, closing my eyes. “Get to work.”

He chuckled and started to run his fingers through his wings, adjusting my feather slowly, carefully, and almost lovingly, making me sigh happily.

Here I was, lying in the lap of someone who, just a few minutes ago almost, made me have a panic-attack, and now I was as calm as can be.

Is this what you felt for Shining when you two were dating? I thought, trying not to fall asleep. …No, I don’t think so… It feels different, somehow…

I cracked open an eye to look up at my friend.

“Ares?”

He looked down at me. “Yeah, Cadence?”

I frowned at the use as my name. “First off, stop calling me Cadence!”

He grinned. “Alright Mi Amore Cadenza,” His grin only got bigger when I swatted him with my tail.

“Use that nickname that you’ve insisted on giving me,” I muttered. “You’ve used it so much that when you call me Cadence it makes me feel like something’s wrong…”

“I’m going to start using your full name then just to piss you off.”

I grumbled good-naturedly. “Ponies are usually only allowed to call me by my full name on my birthday,” I told him jokingly. “Aunty made it a law a few years ago; you could go to jail if a guard catches you.”

He chuckled before yawning again. “I’d be out within the week,” he said while I frowned at him, sneakily magicking all of his papers away.

“Hey, Ares,” I said, sitting up. “Could you do me a favor?”

The human blinked before smiling. “Sure, Candy, whatcha need?”

He yelped when I pushed him into the bed. Fighting a smile, I said, “Stop looking over those silly papers and get some sleep.” I saw the defiant look on his face. “If you don’t I’ll put a sleep spell on you,” I threatened, throwing covers over him.

“You’re going to get some sleep while I go get a little snack, okay?”

“...Okay…”

Smiling, I nodded before hopping out of the bed. “And if you get out of that bed I’ll know~!” I sung before trotting out of the room.

A quick sandwich later in the kitchens later…

You put the peanut butter on the bread and you eat it all up! I sang to myself as I made my way down the halls, a peanut butter sandwhich in my mouth. You put the peanut butter on the bread and you eat it all up! You put th--

“Oh, hello, Cadence!” A voice cheerfully said.

I turned around and smiled when when I saw Twilight trotting toward me. When she was within reach we shared a nuzzle.

“Hello, Twilight,” I said --after moving my little snack into my back--with a small sly smile while I looked around the little purple alicorn. “Where’s Flash?” my smile grew when I noticed her blush. “Off prowling, eh? Maybe looking for a certain purple filly?~”

I laughed when she nudged me, squeaking angrily.

“S-Shut up!”

While she was breathing heavily, I couldn’t help but notice that she was holding something in her magic.

“What’s that, Twilight,” I said, pointing at the little card. “A love letter?”

The unicorn flinched before hoofing me the thing. “It’s a happy birthday card, thank you very much,” she said. “It’s for Ares.”

I cocked my head at her in confusion. “...What about Ares’s birthday?...” I asked.

Twilight blinked before shaking her head. “Oh right, he wouldn’t have told you,” she almost muttered. “Ares’s birthday is tomorrow.”

And then there was a bout of righteous anger filling my body. “And he only told you?”

She blinked again. “Oh, he said that it was a cultural thing; apparently, human’s don’t celebrate birthdays!”

That’s a bucking load of horseapples if I ever heard it…

“I just thought that he’d like a little card,” Twilight gave me a smile. “I, um, have some very important… things to do tomorrow, so I won’t be able to give it to him, so I thought you could…”

“I’ll give it to him,” I heard myself say while I resisted the urge to grind my teeth. “And a bucking piece of my mind…”

Before Twilight could say anything else I walked away, ready to give a certain monkey-man a piece of my mind.

“Wouldn’t tell me it’s your birthday will you?” I muttered, my wings ruffling angrily. “After all you’ve done for me…”

I opened the bedroom door and stopped at what I saw, my anger draining away as I looked at my sleeping friend, who was hugging a pillow with a little smile on his face.

“...Awwwww,” I whispered while he quietly drooled on the thing.

Quietly making my way over to him, I put his card on the counter and started to take my regalia off. “How am I going to stay mad at you when you look at that?” I demanded before wiggling under the covers.

Almost as if sensing me, the human’s arms were wrapped around me as soon as my head poked out of the covers. Giving him a nuzzle, I whispered, “Well, Mr. Grumpypants, if you don’t want to tell anypony about your birthday, then I guess that’s too bad for you, because I know now.”

I leaned up and gave him a peck on the forehead. “I’ll make sure that you have the best birthday of your life.”

The sleeping human sighed, tightening his grip around me as I looked up at him.

… I shouldn’t… I thought, looking up at him.

I really thought about it, digging deep, deeper than I think I’ve ever gotten. After what seemed like hours I leaned up toward Ares’s face, my nose brushing past his lips. After a little more thought, I leaned up a little more, planting a kiss on my friend’s lips, humming as I closed my eyes.

I didn’t think about the consequences, the bad things that may or may not happen, I just enjoyed the sensation of kissing someone that I knew cared for me more than he cared about himself. My heart fluttered, and the butterflies that I had ignored for days came back in full force.

An eternity later, I broke the kiss, placing my head on Ares’s chest and closing my eyes.

“Goodnight… Ares…” I muttered. “You get a good night’s sleep. I have some thinking to do…”

Author's Notes:

As usual comment, point out mistakes(every one helps), etc...