I sat outside of Cross’s Pet Health Store, waiting while Twilight looked around inside for the protein pills that helped repress my meat cravings, even if those cravings weren’t that bad to begin with. I stared at the ground, chewing on the inside of my cheek. Glancing over my shoulder at the building, I frowned slightly as I looked at the ‘no humans allowed’ sign hanging by the door.

Why humans weren’t allowed into a store that catered to them I didn’t know, but since it was a nice day out, I was content to sit outside and wait.

At least it gave me time to think. Shaking my head, I returned my attention back to the dirt in front of me. Seriously, all I asked was if she knew a place that sold meat! That doesn’t mean I’m going to attack the next living thing I see to sat my hunger! I can control myself--

“I’ll be back in a jiffy, Ulrich!” I was jolted out of my stupor by a familiar voice. Glancing up, I saw the pony from yesterday heading towards the front door; Dr. Song, I think her name was. She had her human with her, and she had magicked his leash into the wall of the building. He waited until she had entered the store before looking at the leash. Eyeing it, he grabbed ahold of the leash and pulled, trying to pry it out of the building, but to no avail.

Unable to free himself, the human sighed and slumped down onto the bench, holding his head in his hands. I scrunched up my face, eyeing the human. Both yesterday and today he had displayed an abnormal amount of emotion, more emotion than any other human here in Equestria had displayed.

Standing up slowly, I walked in front of him, cocking my head to the side. What did the pony say his name was again, Ulfric?

I flinched back as the human stood up suddenly, giving me a quick once-over. His eyes narrowed as he glared at me, his hands clenching into fists. Leaning forward, he shoved his face into mine and snorted loudly. What the fuck? I thought, stumbling backwards. Why is he getting aggressive all of a sudden? He snorted again before sitting back down on the bench. I just stood there, staring at him for a few minutes, chewing on the inside of my cheek. I was unsure of what to make out of what had just happened.

As I stood there, pondering, my ears perked up as a soft noise reached them. As the noise grew, I felt my body tense up. It was a whistling sound, the sound of something fast approaching quickly…

...the sound of a rainbow missile.

I didn’t have any time to react before she was upon me. With an audible thump, Rainbow Dash slammed into me, sending us both crashing to the ground, “Gotcha, big guy!” Stars burst in front of my eyes as I tried to push her off of me, but she clung to me gamely. Growling, I tried to roll over, but she matched my movement, a large smirk plastered on her face. I was dimly aware of ponies walking past us as we wrestled, but I paid them no mind: I had a Rainbow punching bag to take care of. This was funny the first few times, but I still have bruises from our last tussle. She seriously needs to take a break!

Jamming my knee into her side, I rolled us over again and prepared to trap her beneath me. However, I was interrupted when something ripped Rainbow off of me and tossed her into a nearby stand, which proceeded to collapse upon her. My eyes widened when I saw who had tossed her: it was the Ulysses, or Ukulele, or whatever the fuck his name was.

Rage flared inside me as I looked up at him. You did NOT just attack Rainbow in front of me! As he turned to look at me, I stood quickly, throwing all my weight behind my punch as I aimed for his face. The punch connected and he stumbled back slightly, grunting in pain.

I wasn’t completely sure, but I think my fist fared worse than his face.

My satisfaction seeped out of me as the human slowly turned to look at me, spitting out some blood as he gave me a look that could boil water. He took a step forward, and it was only then that I realized how big he truly was; he looked like a defense linemen!

He took another step, and I stumbled backwards, trying to put some distances between me and this beast of muscle. At my movement, he lunged forward, arms outstretched. I was saved, however, when he reached the end of his leash. With a horrific choking noise, the human fell backwards onto his ass. Even with my heart pounding in my chest, I couldn’t help but smirk at him.

Shaking his head, the human got to his feet and glared at me. Raising his hand, he gave me the bird before turning his attention back to the leash. I froze, the smirk leaving my face. H-he… he d-didn’t, did he? With that, everything clicked into place: the emotion, the behavoir, the one-fingered salute. It could only mean one thing.

I need to find Twilight! Skirting around the human, I hurried into the store, hellbent on finding my owner.

Bursting through the door, I ignored the owner’s protests as I raced down the aisles, searching for Twilight. I found her near the back, browsing through the petcare books they had. Figures; even in a pet store, Twilight can always find some books. Her ears perked up as I neared, and she turned to look at me.

“Max?” she asked, blinking at me. “You can’t be in here; I’m sorry but there are no humans allowed.” Her ears folded back as she said that, giving me a sorrowful look. I shook my head, cutting off anything else she was going to say.

~Twilight. Human. Outside. Intelligent!~

“What?” she asked, stepping back and holding up a hoof. I was going to repeat myself, when Dr. Song appeared beside me.

“Oh, Twilight. I didn’t expect to see you here… and with your human,” she said, frowning as she looked at me. “I thought humans weren’t allowed in here-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I picked the mare up, depositing her in front of Twilight before pointing down at the unicorn.

~Her human, human from day before, is intelligent! Like me!~

“What?!” Twilight yelped, looking at me in shock. “Are you serious?!” I nodded my head.

~Positive!~ Twilight chewed her lip before looking down at a confused Dr. Song.

“Okay, then,” she said. “Dr. Song, if you’d follow me.” The good doctor just nodded her head, following behind us as Twilight and I made our way towards the front of the store. Twilight flashed the owner a quick apologetic smile, before she opened the door and stepped outside. I followed her out just in time to see the human pin Rainbow Dash beneath him.

“RAINBOW!” With a shout, Twilight lifted both Rainbow and the human up in her magic, severing the human’s leash in the process. I gave the limp pegasus a worried look, while beside me, Dr. Song was looking at her human in concern.

“Here,” Twilight said, floating Rainbow over to a pair of guards that had just arrived on the scene. “You two, take her to the hospital. I’ll handle the human.” I saw the human in question’s eyes widen in alarm, aiding more proof to my claim. He knows what she is saying, and is reacting.

“Princess, please. It--” Dr. Song began, but was cut off by Twilight holding up a hoof. The alicorn then looked over at me.

“You’re sure?”

~Positive. If he is not, I am a dumb human~ Twilight nodded, then turned to the doctor.

“Alright. Dr. Song, you need to come with us.” Turning, she headed towards the library, the human clasped in her magic. I looked at Dr. Song, then followed after Twilight, the unicorn mare falling in step behind me.

Author's Notes:

Well look at that, MadMax wrote another one.

For some reason it's more fun reading these than it is thinking of future chapters.... Hmmm....