The next morning found me trapped in a tangle of blankets. Extracting myself proved to be a rather arduous process involving a gymnastic act that I was surprised my half-awake body could pull off. When I finally did escape, I crawled into the bright morning, blinking as the sun infiltrated my eyes.

I could tell Dr. Song had come and went earlier, my food and water bowls having been re-filled. I absently crunched away at the kibbles, trying to boot up my higher-reasoning systems. Unfortunately, all I got was:

Brain.exe encountered a problem and had to close. Please start Coffee.java before attempting to boot Brain.exe again.

Yeah. I'm one of those people. Anyway, I finished the paltry meal and stood, trying to force myself to wake up. I shuffled around to the best of my ability, slowly but surely resuscitating my heart to pump blood through my veins. It sort of worked, rousing my brain to near-alertness.

Maybe a half-hour later, Dr. Song came out with a leash in her telekinetic grasp. As she neared my cage, however, she stopped and dropped the leash, her eyes widening as she saw me.

What is she... Oh, right. The garb. I thought to myself as I remembered last night.

"Wait.... You... but I never put them...." Dr. Song 's eye twitched for a moment, before she shook herself. "No. I'll just ignore it and go shopping. If I don't think of it, it will sort itself out. I need to clear my head. I'll just... Yes, the market.”

I perked up upon hearing that, watching as she went inside. This was it. My chance to escape. I'd sneak out while she was buying groceries and then...

I'll figure that out later. For now I wait..

About twenty minutes later I scaled the fence and entered the house. This time I could actually see her house in the morning sunlight, and I have to say it was rather nice. She had a good-sized kitchen with white tile walls and a nice mosaic floor. The countertop was scaled for someone half my height, so I kinda felt like Gandalf. I was just glad the ceiling was human-sized.

I proceeded into the front room, the bag with my armor sorely absent. I assumed it had been put away. I moved to the front door when I realized something. I had no shoes on. Which would spell disaster for me if I ended up needing to survive in the woods. One misstep and I'm dead of an infected cut.

I did a one-eighty, looking around for my boots. The first floor proved fruitless, so I turned towards the basement. Inside I found what looked like a mix between a dungeon and a mad-scientist's lab. One whole half of the room was a large cell, while the other half held various science-y tools. A quick search showed that Dr. Song's Dominatrix Lair held nothing but hand-cuffs and chemicals.

After that I went upstairs, and found my prize in a closet along with my armor. A quick search turned up my boots, a pair of, thankfully washed, socks, and the small pouch that generally held my fighters card, medallion (if the event called for it) and my Mjolnir pendant to keep them safe and on me when fighting. My fighters card was missing, but I gladly donned the pendant. You see, I'm not christian; I, instead, follow the Nordic traditions most notably known about through the Vikings and, more recently, Marvel comics. Thor was my patron, as he is for many warriors of Nordic blood. And no, not the Marvel hero. Anyway, upon finishing, I went back to the front door.

In the daylight, I could see it was one of those stable doors that had an upper and lower half that opened separately. The irony in that simple fact alone made me groan. Other than that, I couldn't glean much more other than the fact that it was locked, and that the hinges were not on the inside. Which ruled out my simpler, easier plan of removing the hinges and pulling down the door.

I sighed, before taking a few steps back and lowering my shoulder.

Dr. Song hummed merrily as she left her house, trying to drown out her thoughts on the human. She knew that she had never given him back his clothes. She even put the bag that had them inside away herself this morning. And the zipper was still closed.

She snorted, stomping her hoof as she forced the thoughts out of her brain. Instead she decided to list what she needed in her head.

Let's see. I've been away for a while, so the milk is bad. I also need some more eggs. The cereal should be okay though. Hmm, what else. Carrots, apples, celery. Might even get a rose to munch on while I'm out.

She was so deep in thought, she almost didn't notice the purple pony in front of her. Thankfully for her dignity, she stopped, her internal shopping list being filed away as she turned towards the newest Princess in Equestria.

“Oh, hello Miss Sparkle!” Dr. Song said, all too familiar with Twilight's preferences about her Royal pronouns.

“Hello Dr. Song!” Twilight responded, “I haven't seen you around recently.”

“Oh, I was in Canterlot. They had a rash of human aggressiveness up there and I was called in to lend a helping hoof. If you ask me, though, it's those nobles and what they're doing to these humans that 's causing it.”

“Wow. I take it everything turned out okay now that you're back?”

“Well, actually there was an... incident. Basically, this new human showed up in the Gardens, and... Well, I'm not supposed to go into great detail, but I was asked to study him. In fact, he indirectly proved my theory about the increased aggressiveness, though there's not enough evidence to prove it.”

“Oh?” Twilight prompted

“Well, Prince Blueblood got it into his head that he needed to inspect Ulrich, or some such nonsense, and entered his cage. He got a hospital visit for his troubles, even though the human had been cleared for contact.”

“It sounds like Blueblood's antics finally caught up with him.” Twilight said, having firsthoof experience with Blueblood's hobbies after accidentally walking in on him once. Some things could never be unseen.

“Yes, well, Blueblood tried to get Ulrich put down, but I was able to secure his safety. The Princess actually let me keep him!” Dr. Song almost squeed as she finished.

“Oh, really. You finally got a human? Congratulations. I actually just got my own just over two and a half weeks ago. Max!” Twilight turned.

Dr. Song looked up at the human that had been absently standing a few feet away, staring off towards the market.

“Wow, he's certainly a specimen.” She said, walking around. “He actually reminds me a little of Ulrich, though yours has a bit less... muscle. No offense.”

“None taken.” Twilight said. The human did a little jig like thing, and Twilight laughed.

“You seem to take good care of him.” Dr. Song finally said. Nodding at Twilight.

“Yes, well, he's special. He's certainly kept me sane, though he's sometimes a hoofful."

The human huffed, but Dr. Song ignored it, in favor of giggling. “With one that large, I'd be surprised if he wasn't.”

The two mares giggled for a little bit, but finally Dr. Song stopped, nodding toward the market. “I actually have to go. I have to re-stock my kitchen. I can't believe I left the milk here. Goodbye, Miss Sparkle.”

“Goodbye, Dr. Song!”

Dr. Song turned towards the market with a new spring in her step. Who cares if her human was wearing clothes. It was her human. A smile found its way to her face.

As she trotted, however, a small ball of fur blindsided her, a high-pitch squeak accompanying the impact. There wasn't enough force to do any damage, but it caused Dr. Song to stumble none-the-less.

“Oof... Who did.... Oh. Hello, Sweetie.” Dr. Song said.

“I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there, are you ok? Oh, please don't tell my big sis, I just got ungrounded. I was just going over to Applebloom's and now I won't be able to go and please don't be mad! I just want-”

Dr. Song held up a hoof to the white unicorn, stopping the panicky tirade of words.

“It's alright, it's alright.” Dr. Song said, “I'm not hurt, and I won't tell Miss Rarity. Just be... careful.” The unicorn ran off before Dr. Song could finish, a Sweetie Belle-sized dust cloud following her. She remembered when she had last seen the filly, a subdued mess beneath a swath of bandages. It was good to see that the human attack hadn't hurt her personality too much. Though that eye. Dr. Song shivered. Best not to think to hard on that one, she thought to herself.

Shaking her head, she continued on her way. A few minutes later, Dr. Song was at Carrot Top's stall, picking out a nice bundle.

“That will be twenty bits.” Carrot Top said to her when she finished.

“Ouch. Ah well. Here you... Oh no...” Dr. Song said, looking for her bit pouch. “Ponyfeathers. I'm sorry Carrot Top. I think I left my bits at home. I'll be right back in a jiffy.

“No problem. I'll keep these right here for you when you return!”

“Thanks!”

Dr. Song turned and trotted down the road, heading back home. She mentally berated herself for forgetting her bits. As she walked, she continued to mentally organize her shopping list. Her mental activity seemed to make the trip that much faster, so she was surprised when she found herself at home. She reached out with her magic for the door, her money bag clear in her mind.

I sighed before taking a few steps back and lowering my shoulder. I took a deep breath, then charged the door, urging all my might into my right shoulder.

At the same time, a green glow enveloped the handle, and before I could stop myself the door opened. I flew outside, barreling over Dr. Song as she yelped in surprise. I crashed into the street, giving myself quite a few bruises as I met the hard-packed dirt. I forced myself onto my feet and shook my head to clear it before picking a random direction and taking off at a dead sprint. I didn't even give Dr. Song a chance to recover.

A few seconds later I could hear Dr. Song's voice shouting out to the ponies in the street to stop me, but I was shooting past before they could comprehend what was happening. I could hear Dr. Song's hoofbeats as she tried catching up, as well as a few other unknown sets. I put on an extra burst of speed, trying to ignore the sense of Deja Vu creeping into my head.

I sure hope this doesn't become a habit, I thought as I sped into a small alley, the colder, shaded air inside cooling my forehead slightly. I shot out of the alley and into a massive open area, a veritable sea of ponies in front of me. I mentally shrugged, weaving my way through the packed square. The ponies around me gave out shouts of surprise as Dr. Song burst from the alley, shouting out for help stopping me. I pelted out of the crowd, making my way onto another side street.

In the distance, I saw a large forest that would be perfect to make my escape into. At least, unless a purple unicorn somehow got under my feet and sent me flying. But how unlikely would that be?

Yeah, well, the next thing I knew I was in the air, a strangled yelp escaping me as the cold, hard, unforgiving law of gravity exerted it's power over me. In a last act of defiance, I rolled to let my shoulder take the impact rather than my head.

A split second later I landed, a sickening pop echoing out from my shoulder as the rest of my body thumped to the ground. A stabbing pain shot through my arm and into my chest. I let out a scream, the sheer amount of pain blocking most everything out as the ponies I could see backed away in fear.

I forced thought through the pain, though, trying my best to analyze what happened.

There's... nnggh... no blood, so I didn't shove a rock into... it... The pain continued to lance into me, but to a lessened degree. It doesn't feel broken... Dislocated maybe? I looked down at the shoulder, seeing my arm hanging limply there. Yup, dislocated.

I had dislocated my arm once before, and I had been able to pop it back into place.... with the help of my father. I had been nine at the time, trying to catch myself when I fell out of a tree. Now, though, I had to do it by myself. Not that I knew more than the basics. I sighed internally, groaning as my arm moved a bit.

Looking up, I could see Dr. Song galloping through the market towards me while the purple unicorn... wait, no it's another of those pegacorn things... anyway, the pegacorn was favoring her right side while a human in a roughspun tunic and pants combo stood by her, giving me what looked like a hostile glance. I forced myself to stand as Dr. Song got closer. I also spotted two armored ponies coming through the street on my right.

I clenched my teeth, grabbing my arm and pushing up and in. Instead of the feeling of relief and the pop I expected, however, I merely succeeded in making myself collapse again as pain reeled through me.

By the time I recovered, Dr. Song was already upon me, her emerald magic lifting me off the ground. She gave me a worried glance, quickly popping my arm back in place. The pain spiked before relief rushed in, and I relaxed into Dr. Song's aura. The arm still ached, but it was bearable.

“I'm so sorry, Twilight!” Dr. Song said. “I didn't expect him to come rushing out the door the moment I opened it. He didn't hurt you, did he?”

“I'm alright, thank you. Just a bruised wing and a sore ego. I'll be fine.” The purple pegacorn, Twilight, said as she waved off the guards, who stood uncertainly for a moment before nodding and dispersing. “I take it this is Ulrich?”

No, this is Patrick I thought to myself, a small smirk trying to find it's way to my face, but I hid it in a scowl.

Dr. Song sighed. “Yes. This is Ulrich. I'm actually surprised he managed to make it out of the cage he was in. But, live and learn.”

“Well, I can certainly see what you mean when you said he had more muscle. Those arms must be seventeen inches around at the least!” Twilight said.

Damn straight! Took me forever to work on these babies I thought, unconsciously flexing.

“You're actually spot-on. The measurements I have of him put them at seventeen exactly.” Dr. Song replied.

Uggh... I thought as the two ponies prattled on. I'd like to just get back, nurse my arm, then escape successfully this time. So hurry up!

I really wish they could of heard me. Anyway, I looked around, bored with them already. I could see a few ponies looking on in interest, but the rest had already shrugged and moved on with their lives. As I looked around, I caught sight of the human that was standing by Twilight. He seemed to be studying me while thinking intently.

Either that, or he had a huge dump that he had to take. As I watched him, he clapped his hands and stomped his feet a few times, prompting both ponies to look over at him.

“Well, I should get Max home soon. He gets antsy if we're out too long for some reason.” Twilight said.

“Alright, besides, I should get Ulrich home too. And I've still got shopping to do.” Dr. Song replied.

Both ponies split, 'Max' following Twilight while I was carried back to the house.

The 'ride' back was uneventfully, aside from the appearance of a pink pony who had to have been jacked up on some onholy mixture of Monster, Redbull, 51/50, 4 Loco, a barrel of sugar, a dash of jet fuel, and just a tiny, massive barrel of Concentrated Crystal Meth. I swear that her jaw should have flown into orbit based on the sheer speed at which it moved to formulate word-like sounds with her mouth.

She ended up stuffing a piece of paper into Dr. Song's face before disappearing again. Dr. Song, however, seemed unaffected and just calmly walked back to her house.

Anyway, once inside she headed right for the basement, stuffing me into the large cage.

I'm really not into the whole S/M thing you'v- ah who am I kidding. You can't hear me. I'm just wasting brainpower. I sighed, causing Dr. Song to turn around.

“Don't worry, Ulrich. I'll take you for a walk tomorrow. Maybe that's why you got out...” Dr. Song said, continuing back up the stairs.

... Well, now I'll finally answer the question 'Why does my dog like walks so much?' Uggghhh...

I turned back to my stony prison, now completely lost on what to do. This was gonna be a long night.

Author's Notes:

Edited by MadMaxtheBlack