"Richard! RICHARD!" I groaned as I slowly surfaced from sleep. I had been dreaming about skinning and cooking a nice rabbit into a stew, and it was real enough that it made my mouth water just thinking back on it. Sadly, Dr. Song's voice yanked me from such pleasure. Groaning again, I rolled out of the slightly too small bed and onto my feet.

"Richard, wake up already!" Dr. Song yelled, hoofsteps echoing up the stairs and to my door. I stomped on the floor twice to let her know I was awake. "Get dressed quickly, we need to pack for the beach today!"

Her statement gave me enough of a jolt to pull on my underwear, leggings and tunic. I grabbed my belt off of the nightstand and left the room, knowing that a steaming mug of restorative brew would be waiting on the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Ever since she had found out about my near-addiction to coffee, Dr. Song had been making sure to have a pot ready and a mug poured for me if she woke up first, which she normally did. On the few occasions where I was the first one up I made sure to return the favor.

When I reached the kitchen I was happy to find nothing had changed and that Dr. Song was in the midst of cooking eggs and toast, with some hay bacon for herself and a bag of bacon treats for me. I grabbed my mug and moved to a seat, tapping out a quick +Good Morning+ to Dr. Song as I sat down.

"Good morning to you as well." Dr. Song said, smiling as she flipped the eggs. "Twilight said to meet her around ten and to bring some stuff for the picnic. I was thinking about whipping up some of that blueberry tart from last Friday, and bringing some of the bacon treats for you and Max. What do you think?"

I took a sip of my coffee before answering. +Well, the tart would be a good idea, but doesn't it have to be cooled for two hours after baking?+ I looked meaningfully at the clock on the wall, showing that it was just after eight in the morning.

"Oh ponyfeathers. I should have thought about this yesterday!" Dr. Song said, adding another curse under her breath.

+How about some of that Beer Bread recipe on the fridge?+ I had actually been moderately surprised when I had found out the ponies had alcohol, but it was a pleasant one. I had made sure to get at least the occasional IPA (Indian Pony Ale) or a Stallion Red six pack when Dr. Song went shopping.

"But, I've never made it before. I don't want to bring something that I don't know how it will turn out!" Dr. Song replied, flipping the eggs and respective bacon onto our plates.

+I've made beer bread before. It's delicious. Hell, I'll even make it if you want me to+ I replied.

"That would be lovely, but umm... What is hell?" Dr. Song said. I chuckled quietly. I had made sure to translate expletives from English to... whatever the pony/English hybrid language was, and while most of them were already here, words like 'Hell' and 'Motherfucker' were blatantly absent. I felt it was my cheerful duty to educate the locals by transferring curses over in a way they'd be able to understand it. Or at least the phonetics of it.

+It's a mild swear from my world. Nothing big, and surprisingly useful.+

"O-kay then..." Dr. Song went back to eating her meal, while I sipped contentedly at my coffee, the food already having been wolfed down seconds before.

After breakfast was finished, Dr. Song started doing the dishes while I got to baking. First off, some flour, water, and quite a bit of sugar, and started mixing them together in a bowl. Then I took out one of the IPAs and popped the cap, taking a swig of it before splashing a generous helping into the dough I had made. Next was some kneading. and then some more kneading, and just one more knead for good measure. Finally, I formed the dough into a roughly circular shape with a slightly raised edge, and doused the whole thing in beer. Then I turned to the oven, adjusting the grate from the firebox underneath before slipping the bread inside.

You see, the ponies were in a... weird technological paradox. Since they had magic, many advances humans had made, computers, cars, planes, electricity grids, simply didn't exist. Others, such as ovens, washing machines, dishwashers, were mainly still in the medieval stage while a few in the 'big industries' were at the 1900s level of tech. If that. So the oven in Dr. Song's house had to have a fire set underneath with coals to heat it, and a metal... flap, for lack of a better word, had to be used to adjust the amount of heat in the oven. With magic, it made it easier to start said fires, but didn't help with much else. I was grateful that I at least knew how to cook with a fire from my time in the SCA.

About half an hour later a wonderful aroma began to fill Dr. Song's house. Taking a quick peak in the oven showed that the dough had turned a nice golden brown, with an uneven top crust where the beer was. I gave it another couple minutes to ensure the ineer dough had cooked all the way, before pulling it out of the oven and setting it on a counter. Dr. Song eyed the bread appreciatively.

"I have to say this looks like an excellent bread." Dr. Song said, "but looks can be deceiving."

I gave her a hurt look. +How can you say that! You'll hurt his feelings!+ I signed mockingly. +Don't worry, Bear Bread, you'll be loved at the picnic.+

"Alright, alright. I'll trust you on this one. Though I will have to take the credit for making it. I don't think anyone would believe me if I said a human made it. No offense." Dr. Song said.

+None taken.+ I replied cheerily.

We spent another hour getting various bits and bobs together while the bread cooled on the counter. Finally, we had everything together in a small basket: a towel for lounging on, a plate for Dr. Song, a bag of bacon treats for me and Max, and the bread wrapped in a small tablecloth.

I started lacing on my boots, but stopped as Dr. Song approached me, a collar in her grip and apology in her eyes.

"Richard, I'm sorry, but the beach requires all humans have a collar on..." She trailed off, the collar floating there. She had taken it off the morning after our little argument as an olive branch. She knew I was against being treated as an animal, and I felt honestly touched by the gesture.

+Alright. Put it on me.+ I tapped out, resigned to my fate. +Though I'm gonna need to talk to Max about keeping all this secret.+ He was the only reason I hadn't thrown off the collar and 'came out,' as it were, the day after being discovered. He just asked me to keep it a secret for now, and I acquiesced. Now I was starting to get annoyed with it.

With my collar on and a basket on Dr. Song's back we started off towards the beach. My leash was thankfully absent, apparently well-behaved humans didn't need to be on leashes. It was a win in my book though. A few minutes later we could see Twilight and Max talking with some maroon mare with a trio of flowers Cutie Mark. Twilight had told me of cutie marks a week ago, but I still found the concept confusing and mildly insulting. It would suck to have to obey a preset 'destiny' about your life.

"That's Cheerilie, the school teacher." Dr. Song cut in.

+Well, whatever she said it certainly embarrassed both Twilight and Max.+ I said as I watched Twilight's and Max's faces glow crimson while Cheerilie left chuckling. +Let's see whats up!+

We sped up our pace as we neared Twilight, Dr. Song calling out a greeting. Twilight and Max both stopped and turned to face us.

"Hey Melody, hey Richard." Twilight said.

+Sup+ Max signed. Apparently he had worked on making slang in hoof-language.

+So...+ I tapped out, +What was that all about with the school teacher?+

"Nothing" Twilight said quickly, followed by Max's head nodding.

"Richard, play nice." Dr. Song said. "Anyway, we've got some stuff for the picnic. Richard made some beer bread, and I've got some treats for both Max and Richard."

"Aren't they a little, oh, I don't know, too intelligent for treats?" Twilight said condescendingly, Max once again nodding along with her sentiment. I just smiled knowingly.

"You'd be surprised." Dr. Song replied, pulling out the bag with her magic and grabbing two strips of pure deliciousness out.

Max just stopped, looking at what was in the bag. +Is that what I think it is?+ He asked. I nodded.

"Alright boys, sit!" Dr. Song called out.

"Melody, as much as these might be treats for regular humans, I don't think waving them around is going to... do anything?" Twilight just gaped as she saw both myself and Max sitting in front of Dr. Song, staring at the bacon.

"Alright, now roll over." Dr. Song commanded. Max and I were perfect mirrors of eachother as we rolled left and right respectively. Twilight's mouth just gaped wider. "Now play dead." Max just went limp where he was, while I stood up and did the best impersonation of a stabbed man as I could, even going so far as to throw in coughs, winces, death throes, and a death rattle.

"Good boys!" Dr. Song said, holding the bacon out. I grabbed mine and immediately stuffed my face while Max signed out
+Baaaacccccoooooonnnn!+

"I don't believe this" Twilight said, facehoofing.

"Alright, no more till the beach." Dr. Song reprimanded. Me and Max both gave her puppy dog eyes. "I mean it!"

I sighed, gesturing Max to the beach. From an outsiders perspective, it would have looked like we were just told that Christmas/Yuletide (I wasn't sure what Max believed in) was cancelled and we were instead going off to work in the coal mines.

We walked for about another mile, eventually cresting a hill. Below us was a large lake, probably about a mile and a half in diameter. Along the closest edge was a large beach full of ponies, with a line of sand dunes leading its way towards us. We had stopped as a group instinctively, shading our eyes as we peered down the slope.

"Before we go on." Twilight said, inviting all of us to look at her, "I should warn you two." She gestured to myself and Dr. Song, "Rarity is going to be there with us."

"Rarity? The designer? Ok? Why should we be warned?" Dr. Song asked confused.

"Well... If you remember the incident with Sweetie Belle a little while ago?" Twilight said, her hoof describing circles in the air.

Dr. Song winced. "Yeah... That was horrible. But what does that have to do with..."

"Well, Rarity kinda... has this... thing against humans now, so she'll be a bit more... icy than she normally is. I didn't tell her that either of us would be bringing our humans, so she might be a little... confrontational about it."

"Oh." Dr. Song said in understanding. I, however, was lost.

+What's all this then?+ I tapped out in confusion.

"Well," Twilight said, "Basically Sweetie Belle, Rarity's little sister, was attacked by a human not to long ago and, as a result, she ah... she lost her eye... So there's a bit of tension between Rarity and all humans nowadays."

+Ouch. I get it. I'll just.. avoid her I guess?+

"Probably for the best." Twilight said. "Anyway, we might as well get to the beach, or else we'll be late!" And with that she started trotting down towards the lake. We followed shortly. Once we reached the beach itself we could make out much more detail. I could see Pegasi diving from low clouds they had probably moved there themselves, while other ponies either splashed around or laid in the sun. Every now and again there would be a human with a group of ponies, but every one of them was closer to the sand dunes than the lake. I shrugged the observation aside as Twilight pointed to a specific group of ponies.

"There they are." Looking more closely, I made out five distinct ponies. I could see that three of them were playing volleyball while one of them spectated and a fifth was lying down and... Is she trying to tan? I thought to myself as I saw the white coated, purple-maned pony lying there with one of those three-sided mirrors on top of her. Of the five, she was the only one I couldn't identify, so I guessed by elimination that she was Rarity. The others I had seen around town or in the library. Applejack when Dr. Song brought me along to buy groceries, Fluttershy on the off occasions that she visited the library to check up on Max, Pinkie Pie I had seen practically everywhere, and, of course, Rainbow Dash, the pony that seemed intent on ripping Max limb from limb, playfully.

I had seen her on multiple occasions surprise attack Max, my first time witnessing it being the day I was discovered. Had I known it was a normal occurrence, or if I couldn't have done anything about it I'd probably still be inside the cage in Dr. Song's basement. Anyway, she was the only one of the four that seemed to genuinely not like me, though she had warmed up to me a little bit after she crashed into the library one time and fell on top of me. She still seemed a little scared of me though.

"Hello everypony!" Twilight called, halting the game and bringing attention to out little group. Almost immediately I saw Fluttershy zoom over and glomp onto Max. Had I not already seen it before and/or knew the person/pony that had done it, I would have been trying to separate the yellow ball of hugs from Max. Every time she dropped by, though, she gave him a massive hug, so I knew it was benevolent. As I looked back I saw that Rarity had sat up from her position to see who had arrived, and her gaze became one of extreme contempt.

"Twilight, dear, I can almost see why you would have wanted to bring that thing with you." She said, venom dripping from her voice, "but why did you see fit to invite another?"

"Hey now, Rares, that's no way to treat our friends or their pets. It's perfectly fine if they want to bring their humans with them." Applejack said.

"The more the merrier!" Pinkie said, a massive smile plastered on her face. "Speaking of which, Dr. Song! IT's supperific that you came here! I've been wanting to invite ponies to our picnics for ages and Twilight said no, but no she's invited somepony, and it kinda confused me, but I was fine with it nonetheless, and-"

I tuned Pinkie out as she continued to talk, her babble having made everyone forget about Rarity for a moment. I moved over to sit down under the shade of an umbrella and turned to beckon Max over. I caught sight of his leash, however, and nearly burst out laughing. Apparently Twilight didn't trust him or something, because she kept a firm hold on it. I just waited under the umbrella until the girls started setting up the picnic, Twilight laying out a small checkerboard tablecloth and putting the plates out. Then she turned and attached Max's leash to the umbrella and gave him an apologetic smile. I nudged him in the side.

+Twilight keeping you on a tight leash?+ I tapped out.

+Shut up.+ Max replied, pushing me in the shoulder. I shoved him back.

+Behave. Both of you.+ Twilight signed from her position at the picnic, not even turning her head towards us. She was in the middle of levitating a large array of drinks and sandwiches to the many plates around the cloth.

"I made some cupcakes and cookies!" Pinkie Pie said as she pulled the aforementioned baked goods from her mane and placed them on the table.

"I brought some apple crisp and some pie, and Granny made this here cheesecake." Applejack said, pulling it out of a small basket.

"I... uhm... brought this.." Fluttershy said softly, pulling out what looked like deviled eggs.

"I brought myself!" Rainbow said proudly.

"How uncouth." Rarity said, seated as far from myself and Max as possible. "I, of course, decided to bring some hors d'oeuvres, namely these sinfully delicious mini custard cakes. And what about you dear, did you bring anything? Besides that dreadful beast, of course?" The last line was directed towards Dr. Song, with jut a hint of icy venom at the end.

"Oh? Oh, right. I uhh.. made some uh, Beer Bread." Dr. Song replied, already showing me how bad of a liar she was. "I kinda found the recipe in my attic, and the beer was right there at the uhh market, so I just..."

"Beer Bread?" Pinkie Pie jutted in, seemingly confused for a moment, "OH! I've always wanted to make that! I had it once when Mr. Cake made it for this one griffon holiday, I can't remember what it was called, something about octopusses, or is that octopi? Anyway, it was apparently a big hit, but the beer was so expensive that he stopped making it and he never showed me and I'd love to make it so can you tell me the recipe?"

"Uhh.... It was uhhh.... I'll uhh..." Dr. Song's face went red as Pinkie Pie leaned in closer to her.

"Pinkie, leave her alone." Twilight interrupted. "I'm sure she'll give you the recipe later. Let's just enjoy the meal, ok?"

"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie said, going back to her plate. The remaining dishes were served out, and soon the ponies were eating, leaving myself and Max looking longingly at the food.

"You know, I must say," Rarity said a few minutes later, "I never expected something made with such a, shall I say, barbaric drink would taste so good. It is certainly a delectable treat."

"Why, thank you Rarity." Dr. Song said after swallowing a mouthful of sandwich.

+Not to interrupt, but Max and I are rather hungry over here+ I tapped out loudly.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Dr. Song said after hearing my message. "I brought some treats for the humans too!"

Out came the yellow bag, and with it bacon was distributed freely about the ponies. Dr. Song, of course, decided that she would show everyone how 'well behaved' Max and I were by showing off all our 'tricks.' A quick nod towards Twilight released Max from his leash, and soon we were doing all sorts of things for those strips of pure awesomeness. Everyone but Rarity, and Max and I, of course, had a smile on their faces, and Max and I were showered with bacon. It was a good day.

Sadly, the bag was soon emptied, and we plopped into the sand exhausted. Rainbow had kept commanding us to do wilder and wilder things, half of which we couldn't even do because, and I'll quote Max "+We're too stupid to understand that direction, remember?+"

About a half hour later I was bored out of my skull. Sure, the beach was fine and all, but there was one thing that we had left to do. I nudged Max and gestured to the water in an obvious challenge.

+Center of the Lake?+ he asked.

+Or until the obvious winner stops! I replied cheerfully, before racing off towards the lake. It took Max a half a second before he shot after, the ponies' shouts of surprise following us. I didn't bother with the shallows, gathering up as much energy as I could before jumping clear of that water and into the lake proper about six feet out. I scraped the bottom as I dived, using it to springboard forward. One breath of air later and I was under the water swimming as fast as I could. The water itself was the clearest water I had ever had the pleasure of swimming in, giving me a full view of the bottom ten feet below me and the surface as well. I hadn't seen Max pass me yet, so I put on another burst of speed before surfacing again for another quick breath. Another underwater sprint had me burning for Oxygen and rest, so I surfaced and turned around. Max was barely a hairsbreath behind me, also surfacing. He had a wicked grin on his face.

+That. Was fun.+ He said, doing an awkward paddling dance as he tried to stay afloat and communicate.

+Yup.+ I took a look back towards the beach, just a strip now with tiny ponies scurrying across it. I could see that a crowd had started gathering around the point that we had entered the water. I pointed it out to Max .+What has them all riled up?+

+I don't know, but DIVE!+ Max cut himself off with the sudden command and I dove instantly, watching as purple hooves skimmed the surface where we were.

+What was that about?+ I signed underwater to Max.

+Sorry. I saw something moving towards us. I think it's Twilight now that I got a better view+

+I'll not say anything dirty over that on the account I need air.+ I surfaced quickly, Max right next to me.

"What the buck is wrong with you two?" She hissed at us.

+ What?+ Max and I signed at practically the same time.

"What do you mean what?!" She continued, her voice raising in pitch.

+Is there a problem? Is something in the lake?+ I asked.

"Of course there is! It's you! Humans can't swim!"

I looked at Max. He looked at me. We both looked down at ourselves, watching as we both tread water.

+I'm pretty sure you're wrong there, Twilight.+ I said after a moment of consideration, before ducking under the water in near unison with Max. I gestured to the left and kicked off, before resurfacing.

"Will you two stop that?!" Twilight asked after she found us again. "What am I going to tell the others?"

I shrugged at looked at Max. Max looked back at me than sighed,

+That... you are a very smart unicorn. I mean, alicorn that taught two humans to swim?+

"UGGHH!" Twilight groaned. "Alright, just... come back closer to shore, would you?"

+Only if you get a ball.+ Max replied.

"A ball." Twilgiht deadpanned.

+It's a round, spherical object normally used to play games, including, but not limited to, watersports. A ball.+ I added helpfully.

"Alright! Just come back to shore and I'll get your stupid ball!"

We spent the next two hours messing around with the volleyball from the game earlier. After the ponies on the beach heard what had happened, most of them joined us in the water, having fun just bouncing the ball back and forth. Eventually, we all dragged our tired bodies onto the sand, falling down in exhaustion.

+That. Was. Fun.+ I tapped out to Max slowly. He nodded. We spent another few minutes laying there, before Rainbow Dash decided to literally get the jump on Max and pounced on him. I watched on approvingly, seeing Max using several of the techniques I had taught him. Half of them were inexpertly executed, but he was at least trying. The two were at it for a few minutes until Max was eventually pinned by Rainbow.

"Ha! Got you, big boy!" She said triumphantly, hoof bumping the air. Max just sighed. I had the ghost of a smile on my face as I looked at the two. Then a shadow fell on me. I rolled to the left suddenly, jumping back on my feet and turning to face the caster of said shadow. Staring back at me was a 5'10" beefy meathead of a human. Behind him were two others, looking like the Crabbe and Goyle of Equestria. Both of them were built like Gorillas, including the short stature.

As I looked at the 'alpha' of the little pack, I could see that he had the light of challenge in his eyes, and the meaty little beads were staring directly at me. None of the ponies had noticed yet, engrossed as they were with watching Max and Rainbow.

Oh joy. I'm going to be an 'example.' I thought, thinking back on some article about how new alphas in a wolfpack would find a rival wolf from another pack to take down and assert their own dominance. As far as I could guess, humans here were very similar to that.

My theory was proven correct as the wannabe alpha stepped towards me, trying to intimidate me. I knew that retreating would be a mistake, so I stood my ground, widening my stance in a nearly imperceptible manner. I heard a few gasps behind me, telling me that the ponies had finally noticed. I tuned them out, instead seeking out the little beads that were my opponents eyes. Barely a flicker of movement rippled through him, and I reacted, my left arm going up and blocking what would have been a raking slash across my face. Instead the claw-like fingernails of his impacted my arm with a heavy weight, digging in deeply. I grunted in pain, but acknowledged it no further.

Before my assailant had a chance to understand what happened I took a half step forward, crouching a little and shoving all of the force I could muster into my right shoulder. I impacted just below his neck with all of the combined power of my leg and back muscles, sending him nearly to the ground. He growled in frustration and rushed me, and I grabbed him by the neck and let his own forward momentum drag his legs past me until he was level enough to slam into the ground.

I then stood up and turned towards the ponies, confident that even an animal would see they were outmatched and retreat. Every one of them stood there with their jaws wide open, looking at me. I smiled internally and started walking towards them. As I took a step, however, I saw several hooves go up and point behind me, a "Look out!" echoing from a few throats. I didn't have time to turn before a huge weight slammed into me and knocked me to my hands and knees, followed by a tabbing, ripping, burning pain in my left shoulder.

I screamed in rage and pain, my right arm going across my body to slam into the nose of my opponent, forcing him to release my shoulder from his bite. Before he had a chance to recover, I stood up quickly, pulling him from his feet, before I whirled around and grabbed him by his throat once more. This time I forced him to the ground myself, and put my knee across his neck. I pushed my face right into his, keeping pressure onto his windpipe. In his eyes I could see the carnal fear of an animal that knew it was going to die. I only increased the pressure, waiting until the eyes almost rolled up, before I moved my knee. I heard him start to take a breath, and I stopped it with my hand forming an iron grip on his neck. I pushed my face into his, making sure he made eye contact as his weak struggles against his fate fell. I saw the panic rising ever further as he found his limbs difficult to move. I kept the same pitiless stare up, until I was sure that he accepted that I was better than him. At which point I released him for good.

Just like with a dog, make sure they know you're the alpha. I thought to myself with a grim sense of humor as I walked back towards the ponies, wincing as the pain of my wounds made themselves known again. I put my hand on my shoulder, wincing as it touched the jagged hole in my skin tainting the hand a deep red.

Ow. I thought as I fell to my knees. Instantly the ponies surrounded me. I dimly noted that Rainbow Dash and Rarity were both absent as Fluttershy treated my wounds with a small first aid kit she had brought with her. She put a salve onto the scratches on my arm, and then surrounded them with gauze. I assumed she did the same for my shoulder, as the pain from both wounds started to fade. The small tunnel that had formed around my vision without me realizing it slowly left, and I could finally hear the ponies around me.

"There, there. It's alright. It's all better." Fluttershy cooed as she put on the last of the gauze and went over to the other human that was still lying there.

Twilight and Dr. Song were both standing staring at me, equal amounts of fear an concern evident in their expressions. Max was also looking at me, though more concern was in his eyes. He knew that I could fight.

"Landsakes, Melody, I've never seen a human do that before! And you let him outside with foals around?" Applejack asked. Pinkie just gave me a funny look, seemingly lost in thought.

"I... I've never seen him do that before." Dr. Song said, shocked. "I've seen him play fight with Max, but they've never seriously hurt themselves before, and they always seem so friendly."

"I just hope Rainbow gets back with the guard soon." Applejack said, shading her eyes towards Ponyville. "And speak o' the devil, here she is!"

Wait, the guard? Shit. This is going to be a problem. I thought to myself as a half dozen armored pegasi landed near us, spearheaded by Rainbow Dash.

"What's all this then?" The closest guard said in a brusque voice, scrutinizing the scene. "Something about some fighting humans?"

"Yeah." Applejack said. "That human over there." She pointed to the human who Fluttershy was currently overseeing with a large neckbrace, "came outta nowhere with two others and attacked Richard here. Richard here gave the other guy a run for his money, and his two friends just disappeared."

"Alright, we'll take it from here. I assume you own this human?" The guard walked over to me and put manacles on my wrists and ankles. I scowled at him.

"No, Richard's mine." Dr. Song spoke up.

"Well, we are going to need to take it and the other into custody. If it checks out alright you can take it home tomorrow, otherwise it might have to be put down."

Well, shit. I thought as I heard the words. I hate being right.

"But-" Dr. Song tried to interject.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but the law is clear. If it's found too aggressive, it'll be put down. We can't have humans running around and biting ponies, so move along. Nothing to see here."

Dr. Song slumped in defeat. "Bye Richard, I'll pick you up in the morning." She said as she turned away. The other ponies dispersed as well.

"Kowalski, Rico, go get the human cart. I don't want to have to walk these beauties back." The lead guard said, licking his lips. "It'd give me too many opportunities to lose them to an 'accident'."

Lovely, I get the one human-hating pony in the guard. I thought to myself as the two indicated Pegasi flew off. This is gonna be a fun night.

Author's Notes:

I'm BAACKK!!!! For now at least! I've had about a week to actually have internet access and freetime, so I decided to touch up the story as you've undoubtedly have seen. And here's a new chapter! PLease don't kill me for the long wait!

Edited by MadMaxtheBlack

Editor's Note: Needs More Bacon