SUB-TITLE: Off Into The Sunset

{Let’s reiterate shall we? After coming back and being told I was too guard the sole ruler of Equestria and raiser of the sun I’d like to say I said an awesome punchline, got some armour, and went to work. Sadly instead first my jaw dropped to the floor defying physics. Secondly I’ve been told I screamed like a girl. And finally I was told I fainted. And was then put on Celestia’s carriage and sent to Ponyville for my required week and a half of R&R to set up my affairs, with my armour and apparently the Ice sword cause It was real which was extremely awesome.}

“Why am I reiterating everything that happened like I’m in a damn book?” I questioned the air forgetting about the ponies pulling the chariot and how I was never told whether or not they can hear their passengers mid-flight.

“I think I’ve finally gone more insane than Merthyr and he’s king nut job of the freaking walnut armada.” I said as we came into view of Ponyville or more specifically Sweet Apple Acres.”Yo! Guard peoples! You listening!”

“Yes mister emperor coconut.” Replied the leading stallion. “We hear you loud and clear.”

“Yeah well just set down over at that apple farm I know the way from there and I know the owners so don’t worry about it.” I replied ignoring the coconut comment as we landed. “Thanks for the lift!” I shouted to them as I jumped off with my stuff.

“Don’t mention it Mr.Nut!” Laughed the lead stallion as they flew off.

Just as I grabbed Zapada and was to attack him. Two apples flew up at breakneck speeds hitting him where no stallion deserves to get hit and smashing on impact and launching him up a little before he fainted from pain.

“That’s what you get for insulting my friends!” Screamed out a extremely pissed looking Applejack. Seemingly ignoring the fact that now the others had to carry the now unconscious stallion back to Canterlot. She also failed to notice that I had drawn a huge sword that was emitting ice particles somehow.

“Applejack!” I shouted as I put Zapada back in its sheath. “”It’s great to see you again! How’s Applebloom and Big Mac been?”

“Why you! You leave her for 3 whole Weeks without saying a single thing to all your friends and only sending back some small little letter about ‘being busy’.” Ranted a extremely pissed Applejack. “And they’ve been fine though Applebloom’s been worried sick about you. She kept thinking you’d left and would never come back or that you had gotten hurt. Even when we told her everything was fine she still felt worried about you no matter what we said.”

“Oh crap.” Was all I said as I remembered how Applebloom always looked up to me like Scootaloo looked up at RD only multiply that by about three, and add in the fact I see her at least once every day or so since I’ve always liked coming to Sweet Apple Acres whenever I didn’t have anything to do which was often, and how I was always the one stuck going to the school whenever the little fillies and colts got hurt. Also I always tried to help her whenever she had any problems. Needless to say we were pretty close and the fact I had forgotten about her for those three Weeks cut me pretty deep. At this point Applejack finally noticed my sword and the wrapped up bundle on my back.

“What in tarnation are you doing with a sword?!” She asked incredulously. “What in sam heck happened to you while you were away?”

“Could we please go see Applebloom first and tell her everything is all right?” I answered. “I’m more worried about how she is right now then explaining about Zapada.”

“Zapada?” Asked Applejack.

“The sword.” I replied. “It’s name is Zapada. It means ‘snow’ in that language Merthyr told us about remember? It was called Romaneien I think.”

“Oh right.” Said Applejack. “I forgot about how he taught you some of that weird talk. well Applebloom is of in her room doing her school work right now if you really want to see her but I expect you to explain why you have a sword as soon as you finish talking with her.”

I quickly trotted over to the house as Applejack went back into the far house to continue whatever work she had left to come see me leaving me alone to go see Applebloom. I quickly trotted up the stairs to Applebloom’s room and took a deep breath as I slowly opened the door to see Applebloom banging her head against the desk repeatedly until she stopped with her head smashed into school books. As I walked over to her I saw that she was doing her least favorite subject ever language arts. For those of you who don’t know Applebloom is actually pretty smart for her age she may be a little filly in elementary school. She wasn’t there because she was at their grade level but because the school system believes in social interaction as a very important part of life and that it should override grades when deciding a foals classes. She was actually in geometry, biology, and in a language arts class equal to the level of difficulty as that of a 8th grader in their third quarter even though the school year had only started a month ago.

“Well I can see where the problem is in this writing.” I mused aloud causing her head to jerk up in response to my words. “It’s missing the most smartest, best, and most D’awwable filly to ever walk across this side of Equestria or any other one. Why I’d say that with-” And like that I had suddenly been tackled to the ground in a hug by what appeared at first sight to be a small little yellow fuzz ball with hooves and red hair.

“Oh no!” I joked aloud. “I’ve been captured by the great  monster of Sweet Apple Acres that crushes you with hugs and disables your thoughts with all the D’awww she emits! I’m doomed! Doomed I say!”

“Unless!” I said with as a smirk flashed across my face and stayed there. “I exploit her weakness and tickle her to submission!” I suddenly brought my hooves down and started aiming for her chest causing her to let go of me and start laughing as she tried to push me away from her...which made no sense since she was sitting on my chest.

“Do you give up?” I asked the now hysterical Applebloom.

“Ne-never!” She shouted out in defiance.

“Well then prepare for th-” I was suddenly cut off as I felt myself get tackled by Applejack.

“C’mon and help me sis!” She shouted to Applebloom who immediately came over to help her sister tickle me into submission.

“N-no fair!” I called out between fits of laughter as the sister sister tag team worked together against me. “Y-you ca-can’t team up!”

“Whoever said we teamed up?” Replied Applejack as she suddenly turned and tickled her sister. “It’s still a free for all and I’m gonna win!”

“Eenope.” I said as I took my chance and used my one advantage over then both, my wings, “I think it’s more like I will win!” I said as I started to flap wings just right so they each got a face full of feathers. If anyone wants to know why it’s because little known fact that while extremely tough pegasus feathers are also one of the softest things in Equestria so basically they were crying from the laughter in only a few seconds.

“W-we give!.” Applebloom and Applejack shouted out almost perfectly in sync.

I then stopped and looked at the two earth ponies. Applejack still had a couple of tears on her face and had a small smile while Applebloom looked at me with a smile that would put even Pinkie Pie’s to shame. “So who wants to hear how I met the princess and got an ancient sword?”

“Oh! I do!” shouted out Applebloom as she sat down in front of me.

“I reckon I could take a seat for spell. I could always make you do some of the work if it doesn’t sound good enough I could always put you to work to help with all this work.” Commented Applejack as she sat down next to Applebloom

“Well I was asked to come to Canterlot to treat the princess...*We interrupt this boring long ass re telling of what happened to say screw it we ain’t rewriting that stuff so wesa gonna skip ahead now.*...and then I woke up in the carriage on my way to Ponyville.” I said finishing up my re-telling of everything that had happened these past 3 weeks. “So any questions or what?”

“That..was...AWESOME!” Shouted out Applebloom. “You got to meet the princess, fought a evil pony napping villain, save a mares life, and got  a really cool sword and did a sonic rainboom!”

“hehe.” I chuckled out at Applebloom’s antics. “I don’t think I can call it a sonic rainboom anymore Bloom. how about a sonic frost boom?”

“I know you wouldn’t lie to us sugarcube but I think I’ll need a sec to take this all in.” Stated a worn out looking Applejack. “Oh tarnation! I forgot why I was so stressed earlier before you dropped by. I need to head to Appaloosa to meet up with Big Mac and help my cousins with apple bucking season. I only stayed behind to find a pony to watch Applebloom because we can’t bring her along since school started.”

“Well I could always watch her?” I suggested. “I’m back for a week and a half and I don’t need to do much. In fact all I really need to do is grab all my stuff which ain’t much and also say my goodbyes and such.” At this Applebloom suddenly frowned and turned to face me.

“If you move then that means I’ll never see you again and we won’t be friends anymore.” Applebloom said as she suddenly jumped forward and wrapped her hooves around my neck. “Ah don’t want to lose my best friend. Even if it means refusing Celestia she could always get somepony else for a guard.”

“Ahhh don’t worry Bloom I won’t be gone forever I’ll be able to visit every now and again also princess Celestia will be coming here for the occasional visit since the Everfree is so close by. Besides who ever said we would stop being friends? I know that even if I never saw you for the rest of my life I’d never stop being your friend.” I replied to her giving her a hug of my own. “Besides I could always send letters to. Now who wants to go look at my new armour eh! I haven’t even worn it yet.” And like that Applebloom was already over at my bag opening it up and taking out the parts.

“Hey what’s this thing?” Asked Applebloom as she took out a pocket watch from inside the bag. "Ah don’t think this is part of the set.”

“Oh! That’s part of being a guard.” I said. “Every guard has a special item to signify that they are a guard when not wearing armour so that they can still perform their duties if need be. Every guard company has a different one all of Celestias Royal guards have a special pendant. Only the medics have the same item no matter your company and that’s a pocket watch, the only difference in mine to signify my rank is the engraving on the side which is a older version of the one engraved on the other medics watches.”

“So if I wore this people would think I’m a royal guard?” Asked a optimistic Applebloom. “Then ah could come with you to Canterlot and meet the princess!”

“Sorry Bloom but I don’t think that would work on the guards also your sister would kill me for putting you anywhere near any kind of danger.” I replied to her while reaching over and taking the watch from her outstretched hoof and putting it on. “Besides if I did that who would be Scootaloo’s best friend then, also who would be there to make sure Pinkie Pie doesn't destroy the town with that party cannon and warn newcomers about her? I’d need somepony to fill that role while I’m gone."

"I’ll do my best sir!" Replied Applebloom wearing an oversized helmet and trying to salute me but falling over in the process. "Guess ah need more training." I laughed at Blooms antics and suddenly got an idea.

"Applebloom I, Red Crossed Hearts bestow upon you the title of protector of Ponyville in my absence. Do you accept the title!" I asked.

"I accept!" She quickly shouted back at me helmet tipping her head to the side.

"How about first you take off your helmet and then go check the fridge for possible threats to Ponyville while me and your sister chat for a sec."

And with that she was off to the fridge to "dispose’ of all the monsters that happened to look like candy. "So what do think? I know Bloom loves the idea but you get to decide if I watch her or not."

"Ah reckon it’s okay. I’ll think of it as repayment for all the farm work ah missed." She replied. "I’ll be back in a week though to keep an eye on her and say my goodbyes so you can head off to your new job with a proper going away party."

"That sounds like a good idea to me now let’s go make sure the new guardian of Ponyville doesn’t eat all the snacks and candy you have eh?" I said. "Being stuck here without any junk food seems like a bad idea to me." and with that we went to go find Applebloom sleeping in front of the fridge and decided to wait till she woke before Applejack would finally leave. After about 2 hours the new guardian awoke and we said our goodbyes to Applejack as she walked off the farm wagon behind her and sunset in front of her. As she walked off the farm and we waved goodbye and she finally fell out of sight I turned to find two dinner plate sized eyes and a smile that would give her earlier smile a run for its money and that suddenly disappeared leaving a cloud of dust heading towards the farmhouse. For the pony with the most stable mind within miles had just left and would be gone for a week. Leaving a extremely energetic little filly with almost no cares and a full grown stallion with a ice sword and not in the best of health mentally. As she trotted off into the sunset only one thing was shit was gonna hit the fan. Now all we gotta do is watch it fly and probably laugh our asses off as it impacts cause when it does. You will be praising the day that Applejack. Rode off into the sunset.

Sub-Title: Of Jealousy, Fighting, And Hearts

"Bark. Bark." Was the sound I heard at four in the morning as I awoke from Winona’s sudden barks.

"Why do I have to be such a damn light sleeper?" I complained to the air around me. "I can’t get a full nights sleep ever can I? And now it looks as though my sanity is still sleeping, Lucky bastard."

As I continued to grumble and for lack of a better term, bitch. Into the air I tried to stand and realised that Applebloom was currently snuggled up to me under my wing. When I looked I swear the D’aww nearly killed me. She was curled up in a little ball with her nose buried into my side just below my wing but the best part was that it seemed that when she snuggled up with me she was on her back, so it looked like my wing was her bed and that gravity had reversed, she also seemed to think my wing was a toy cause her forehooves were wrapped around its base.

As though she was holding a plushie and if I hadn’t had experience with how much D’aww she could make I don’t know if my heart could’ve kept beating. Even though I didn’t want to I knew I had to wake her up for school so after about five minutes of watching I was finally able to make myself wake her up.

"Wakey, wakey." I said to her sleeping form. "Time to get up for school." As I sat there I saw nothing happen to her besides her tightening her hold on my wing.

{Well what do I do now?} I thought to myself. {Oh! Wait Merthyr told me how to wake up Scootaloo once because she could as he said, "Sleep through a group of trumpeters on Royal Canterlot Voice setting." At least I know where she gets it from. I can’t even imagine who Bloom got this from.} I slowly brought my head down and nuzzled her just under her chin lifting her head slightly in the process. As I nuzzled the underside of her chin I started to hear little noises from above me which soon erupted into full blown laughter, which was sadly infectious for I soon was laying there laughing as though I had gone completely mad as Applebloom laid under my wing doing almost exactly the same thing as me. Only she was fairing much better then me and her laughter was already dying down as she looked up at me and erupted with laughter once again. I was finally able to calm down enough to stop and she soon started to stop as well until finally we both stopped. She let go of my wing which she had somehow kept hold of and crawled out from under it allowing me to stand up and stretch my hooves.

"So what’s the plan for today Bloom?" I asked her.

"Well actually ah have school and today's show and tell." She replied. "And ah was wondering if you’d come in and tell everyone about the princess and your sword and all the crazy stuff that happened to you! will you?" Her eyes suddenly grew to the size of saucers and her lip began to quiver. I knew what was about to happen and quickly replied to her.

"Bloom you know that doesn’t work on me." I said hoping the old lie would hold which luckily it did for she immediately turned off the waterworks. "And of course! I’d love to come and talk to your class about the royal guard and the princess." She screamed in delight and began bouncing in a circle around me.

"But first." I began catching her mid bounce in my fore hooves. "Somepony needs to brush their teeth." At this she smiled and jumped out of my hooves and trotted over to the stairs to go do as I had said as I smiled. Today was already seeming like a good day and I was excited to get started.

"There there!" Shouted Applebloom into my ear from her position on my back as I flew her to the schoolhouse with my armour in a bag I held in my hooves and Zapada in its sheath strapped to my chest. "Over to the left! I think it’s Scootaloo!"

"I see her!" I replied to her as I turned to the the filly who was heading to the farm where we had just come from not seeing me and went into a steep dive causing Applebloom to scream in excitement as I did one of her favorite moves for her whenever I offered to fly her around for fun. Even if AJ still hated the idea I couldn’t care less as I heard her scream in delight. Aj never could understand why her sister enjoyed flight and neither did I but she enjoyed it so why not? Not as though I can’t be trusted to keep her safe and not do anything to dangerous when she came along. Though I did do a Buccaneer blaze once when Rainbow dash egged me on but that was a one time deal and nothing worse then me being in the hospital for a week because I protected Applebloom when I realised I had fucked it up. But she was still fine and that’s all that matters. Even if it hurts me a lot more when she’s here and how my muzzle won't ever be exactly straight since I reset the cartilage slightly to the left. I’d still do it because it made her happy. Snapping back to reality I quickly made a hard left leaning into it drifting right by Scootaloo who had seen me coming and apparently guessed at what I was attempting to do and grabbed my outstretched hoof joining Applebloom as I turned out of my drift and flew toward the school building with the two smiling fillies on my back. and her scooter somehow strapped onto her back almost like the sheath to Zapada.

"So what’s with the bag?" Asked a curious Scootaloo from over my shoulder as we continued our flight to the school not noticing the sword strapped to my chest. "You gonna show us some medical thingys for show and tell?"

"That my dear niece is a secret between me and Bloom but know this. I’m not sure if even RD could say this needs to be 20% cooler." I replied to her and after seeing the look of doubt shoot across her face I quickly added on. "I’m not kidding with ya but if you don’t believe me just wait and see."

"Fine I’ll wait and see but it better be awesome." Replied Scootaloo. "If it’s not I’m telling Dash what you said."

"Oh! Don’t worry it’ll definitely live up to my expectations." I said as I continued to fly towards town and began to see the school houses outline. "Well who’s ready for a very weird day at school?" I asked but before they replied some crazy stallion wearing a cape jumped out of the building screaming bloody murder and was quickly followed by some mares.

"Weird." I mused aloud. "Usually sanity waits for me to show up before it completely goes out the window. Also usually it doesn't literally go through the window. Sure it’s gone through the walls before but the windows a new one." I continued as I spiraled down to the school yard praying Fluttershy would not show up with one of the students. Luckily for me my luck held and she was nowhere to be seen.

"Why hello there Red how have you been? I haven’t talked with you in ages." Said Cherliee as she saw her old friend from school. "I haven’t seen you in weeks everypony says you went to Canterlot for some reason and hadn’t returned yet or even said why you were gone." At this point she had a straight face but Red had slept through enough of Merthyr's rants about psychology to at least be able to notice the obvious signs in her body language that betrayed the fact that she had been worrying over all this.

"True I did have to go but at show and tell everything will be revealed so just wait till then cause this is one long story." I replied hoping she would relax from the news. Luckily she did. "I think you might wanna go inside I think I can see something going on in the classroom through the new hole in the wall." I said pointing to the broken window.

"See you later Red!" Cherliee happily replied as she quickly trotted into the school using the doors instead of the now open window.

"well time for the little fillies to get off my back and tell me when is show and tell cause apparently Bloom never thought to tell me earlier." I said giving the now blushing filly a look that. "So who wants to tell me?"

"It’s during first period." Replied Scootaloo. "And guess what? Dad said he’d be coming with a "special" guest from work! She’s supposed to be some really smart unicorn mare who’s met Celestia herself!" at this she nearly beat Applebloom’s biggest smile with one of her own.

"You meen Twilight Sparkle." I responded without thinking. "She’s the princess pupil. I’ve seen her around the palace Merthyr’s supposed to be in charge of keeping an eye on her and protect her in case of emergencies. Though he’s her only guard since the likeness of that happening is very small and it’s a voluntary position so not many ponies ask for it." At that moment the bell rung and we trotted into the class as we trotted inside I noticed Pip was sitting in a corner looking through the shattered window without somepony or something with him. But before I could ask him why Scootaloo asked first.

"What’s wrong Pip?" She questioned the small colt who from what I had heard. Was actually one of the oldest colts in the class but that he had a birth defect of some sort. "Where’s your show and tell thingy?"

"Well." Pip began."He sorta just jumped through a window and ran off with Octavia and Pinkie Pie chasing him with Pinkie yelling something about 'breaking a pinkie promise!' And Octavia screamed something like 'Sister no!' I'm really not sure what just happened."At this I stared wide eyed. If that guy broke a pinkie promise and it related to Pinkies little sis Octavia then I doubt the possibility of even Celestia herself saving him.

"Well if you want you can double up with me?" Scootaloo replied oblivious to the small betraying slight shuffle of her wings, which while missed by most. Spoke volumes to someone who knew her well like me. "My dad said he was bringing in somepony for my show and tell but I don't think he would mind helping you out”

{Welp he’s boned.} I thought to myself as Pip immediately responded with a yes. {knowing Merthyr that stallion Pinkie was chasing has better chances of survival than Pip most likely does at this moment.} At this moment a sudden ball of light appeared and suddenly dissipated and left two ponies where it was, Merthyr and Twilight Sparkle, as soon as they appeared Scootaloo was over there faster then even Pinkie Pie and was hugging Merthyr who tried his best to stay up as the little filly smashed into him and hugged his neck transferring her momentum to him and sending him onto his side...and right into a stunned looking Twilight who sadly couldn’t move out of the way after using the teleportation spell. What followed was the sounds of screams, apologies, and me laughing my ass off as they all righted themselves and tried to not let anyone see their shared blushes.

“hey you’re Twilight right?” I said to her already knowing her name but deciding to try to break the ice with formalities. “I’m Red Merthyr’s told me quite a bit about you and spike. How was that trip west to meet the dragons?” I asked remembering what Merthyr had told me to explain why I didn’t see her after that first time across the lake.

“Oh it was very informative. Merthyr’s told me you’re  a very good doctor. Even been asked to come do princess Celestia's check up in person.” She said. “though I haven’t heard what has happened since I left. Care to fill me in?”

“How about this. Since I’m here to be a show and tell pony and Pip’s asking Merthyr to be his since his last one did that.” I said gesturing to the broken window. “How about we each tell our version of what’s happened to us in the past month. Sound like a fair deal?”

“Fine but I wanna know everything that’s happened.” She replied. ”Deal?”

“I thought I already said that?” I joked. “Looks like there done. Wonder how much longer it’ll take Merthyr to realize Scoots has a crush on Pip? Well when he does you mind helping me keep him from raging?”

“Fine but that depends on what Pip is like. Who says Merthyr may not like him?” She replied. “She may be his little girl but I don’t think he’ll rage.” At that I shut it because we had just entered hearing range of them and lo and behold Pip had already somehow won Merthyr over entirely in about 15 seconds flat. As we joined up with them and begin to go into the school I heard some snickering from two little fillies each three personal body guards, one of each race, and with an attitude that just oozed arrogance. Or to be more specific Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Oh I may be against hitting children but I they are a special exception they caused Fluttershy to hate me, made Scootaloo and Applebloom cry multiple times, destroyed my pride on many an occasion, tried to buy several ponies off as though they were objects, insulted everyone I cared for, always complained when I didn’t use healing magic cause it wasn’t anything serious, and were also the most arrogant hot heads I’ve ever met.

“Oh this is gonna be good.” I said to myself as I walked into the school with plans already forming in my mind. “Oh revenge will be mine. They will regret ever doing all of that crap oh yes they will!” I said to myself seemingly slowly losing my sanity as I walked into the school thinking of all the ways to get my revenge for everything they’ve ever done. Oh sanity why must you leave me whenever I’m about to have a good day? Cause this was looking to be the best day ever. Next Chapter: Love’s A Fickle Thing, And It can Come From Anywhere, So Never Look Down Upon Its Eccentric Nature. [part 2] Estimated time remaining: 38 Minutes