A Sailboat, Two Mares and a Crate Full of Rum

Chapter Nine

You Can't Spell Shipping Without Rum

***

"Lyraaaa."

Lyra woke up, her eyelids still closed. As she remembered why exactly she had fainted, she realised she didn't want to open her eyes. Ever.

"Maybe I should hit her?"  Vinyl's voice suggested from above. "With a stick?"

Lyra opened her eyes and sat up in what turned out to be a very decent single bed. "Don't." She took a glance about the room she found herself in, with all the needed furniture neatly arranged about her: a solid redwood desk with a fine marble polish, maps scattered all over it; a bookcase filled with old, dusty tomes that seemed like they had never been read (Lyra assumed that they had not even been touched); the bed itself; and a hammock in the corner, meant to guest one pony. For now, it was guesting Bon-Bon, who snoozed peacefully, while Vinyl and Octavia stood guard over the mint mare, deciding her imminent future.

"How long have I been out?" Lyra wondered with a good yawn. She immediately cast a glance at her wife. Bon-Bon was, thanfully, fast asleep.

"Enough for us to drag you to the new ship." Vinyl grinned. "I like ships. Shipping is fun."

Octavia smacked her newly-wed wife. "Vinyl, shipping is not about ships." What I have to put up with...

Vinyl rubbed the sore spot. "That's what they want you to believe." Government shipping conspiracies. "I'll tell you all about shipping," Vinyl promised, patting Octavia on the shoulder. "When you're older."

"Vinyl, I'm older than you," the cellist observed.

"Well, I'm smarter," Vinyl countered.

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No."

"I know Maths. And stuff." A winning argument, Vinyl.

"My wife's pregnant," Lyra said dumbly, staring at the wall. "How can a mare get a mare pregnant?"

Vinyl stopped her arguing, tapping her horn. "Magic."

Octavia huffed. "That's your answer to everything."

Vinyl nodded. "That's because it is. We're, you know?, magical." The DJ tapped her horn again for good measure. "Unicorn master race."

"My wife is pregnant," Lyra repeated. "I'm going to be a mother."

Neither Octavia nor Vinyl seemed to care, however, as they argued in such a heated manner that it was only obvious the argument would soon grow into an especially kinky form of angry sex. The two mares already neared each other, standing dangerously close.

Bon-Bon yawned and rolled over, landing on the floor with a thump. Lyra shrieked and ran towards her wife, elbowing Vinyl and Octavia aside. "Bonnie!" she yelled at the still sleepy mare. "How are you? Are you hurt? How's the foal?!"

Bon-Bon blinked with a yawn. "I'm all right... Lyra!" The cream-coloured mare shot up at once. "You fainted and-"

"Shh." Lyra pressed her hoof against her wife's lips. "It's all right. I'm just so happy about the foal. I'll protect you, and it, from whatever may come."

Bon-Bon wrapped her mare in an embrace, teary-eyed. Vinyl let out a soft 'aww'. "Tavi." She nudged her wife. "It's so cute! We should totally make babies. Come on." Vinyl took Octavia by the hoof, dragging her outside. "Let's go make some babies."

Just as they stepped outside, Vinyl let out a sigh. Octavia stared at her wife intently. "Vinyl..." she said cautiously. "When you said 'let's go make some babies', you just meant sex, or..."

"Just sex." Vinyl grinned. "What?" She shrugged. "I hate foals. I don't want to have one. If I could have a grown-up daughter at once, that'd be cool, but foals..." She paused. "I have a five per cent discount at Horn Condoms & Stuff."

Octavia raised her brow. "Really?"

Vinyl nodded. "Really. Can't risk having a foal with you when we're being kinky."

Octavia kissed the white cheek. "That's sweet."

"After all," Vinyl smirked, "I'm their sponsor."

"Oh." Octavia pondered for a moment. "So that's where all the money's been going off to."

"Yes." Vinyl nodded.

"I'm glad you don't want a foal," Octavia said. "I'm actually a member of Composers Against Foals foundation," she confessed.

"Really?!" Vinyl jumped in place. "Me too!"

And so, on the empty deck of their newly-acquired ship, the two mares did the CAF secret hoofshake, under the rays of the smiling sun.