I woke up, surrounded by a pink, nicknack laden, frilly bedroom, "What the....where am I?"

"...oh...you're still here," A pale blue mare walked in, "I thought you would have left by now...."

"What!?"

"Look let's not make this awkward...I think you should just go," I looked around one last time before throwing myself off the bed and finding my clothes, "...you were....ok,"

"Shut it.....I don't even know how I got here!" She was about to say something when I rushed past her bumping her into the door frame.

"Well....you're a lot ruder than before...why couldn't ya be that forceful last night!?" I made a few disgruntled noises before rocketing out of the front door, almost knocking it off the hinges.

"Un-fucking-believable!" Sorry.....it didn't go very well...I'm getting better though! "Shu-" Shut it! Never do that again ya fucking retard! I angrily rushed through the streets, with only a vague idea of where I was going. "Now I'm fuckin lost, god dammit!" Take the next left.

"Oi, there you are!" Kim ran out the front door, "Where were you last night?"

"Don't ask....just....go make me some toast or something..." I pushed passed her.

"Oi....looks like someone had a rough night."

"Shut it...I can't deal with you right now," I took a sharp turn into my kitchen, "Well.....you gonna cook?!"

"Oi calm down...you're acting like an kid!" I used my elbow to hold my head up, covering my eye.

"Look....I've been dealing with a lot of crazy shit lately....just....just help me out for once," Kim slowly walked around the table.

"Tomas tell me whats wrong? Does it have to do with you eye?!" She tried to pull my hand away.

"No, yes...look it's not just tha- We have been put in a rather precarious and lofty position." She jerked back violently, "See....crazy shits been happening to me..."

"Ok....if I cook something nice will you tell me what's been going on?"

"Kim I- Yes," I just slammed my head on the table, "....just do it..."

"Whoa....that's bonkers..."

"Indeed- and whats worse is that he wont shut up.." I slapped the side of my head, "Augh....I need to rethink my life- too late now......I hate you...I know." I looked up to see Kim staring at me with a mix of amusement and worry.

"Well...you two seem like an interesting duo ta say tha least,"

"Right....well thanks for the food, I gotta go and start training my people," I stood up and started towards my bedroom, I needed to change.

"Since when do you have people?!"

"Since all this crazy shit..." I slammed the bedroom door. Best to just take a nap and get ready for duty.

So do you think they will notice? Rhys said as we walked into the training yard.

We have two different colored eyes....and your accent is completely different.

Then we should buy some glasses! I just shook my head.

Look just...let me talk, don't cut in, don't even try!

Fine....but we visit Mistress Luna later...

Fine, that was the plan anyways....seems like it always is. I quickly ducked inside the HQ, it took a few moments to reach Libra's office, "Libra?"

"Yes, what did you need," He swung off his chair and onto the ground, "Oh...right, their in the meeting room, what are you planning?"

"I have no idea...maybe physical tests? Ya have a timer?" He went around his desk again and tossed a timer on the surface, "Thanks," I swiped the timer and looked around, "So...what else should I do?"

"Hmm....well get familiar with them, once assignments start coming in it'll be better to know who to send on which patrol..."

"Right.....so nothing?"

"Not really...you just pick their assignments and make sure they are staying out of trouble."

"....and ya needed to almost kill me for that?"

"No.....we also expect you to be patrolling....we expect you to also take the more dangerous assignments."

"Great.....wait dangerous? Like what?"

"Uncooperative unicorns, kidnapping, rape, physical violence, you know...normal dangerous stuff....oh and wildlife..."

"...great....I'm just gonna go...meet the guys..." I quickly stepped out of the room, "Normal stuff....ha...."

"oh you've gotta be joking....you?"

"Aye.....Lokahkno-"

"Look shut it....I can't even understand ya...fuckin Glaswegian....just....go stand with tha others," He sauntered off. You know....while I don't condone your hate for the other Britons....I do understand it. He speaks worse than yourself! I ignored it and stood infront of the four, "wait....four? Hey...you in the back, are you supposed to be here?"

"Huh? Oh...no...I guess not..." There was a brief pause.

"....well....get the hell out!" I waved my arm at him, "Go on, get!" He quickly left, "Wanker....anyways....quick introductions I am Lieutenant Eldridge, save your names I'll learned when it matters. Right, first off I need a baseline for your athletic abilities, follow me..." I quickly walked out the door, the trio following close behind, "Right, four laps, get set up on the track and ready to go." They quickly took their places, "And....GO!" The trio bolted off down the track, "....looks good...I think..."

"Hurry up Glasgow, you're in dead last!" He managed to sprint the final length and clock in at about seven minutes, "Not....terrible, anyway the boss didn't give us assignments yet but you're not off the hook, Ya can either exercise or practice writing reports....either way ya got another few hours!" Glasgow and the skinny one started back onto the track, while the blond one went over to the dummy we use to simulate dead weight ponies, "Right.....OI CANCER!" I called out across the yard, "Mind making sure these boys don't skip out on their training?"

"Sure!" The stout bat pony yelled back.

"Thanks!" Well that went well....off to see Luna? Yes...... Well let's not waste time then!

"Oh....wow...." I slowly made my way down the throne room, "Huh...." An absolutely massive line of ponies was queued up to see her, "Wonder whats going on..." I hurried my pace to the throne.

"We can assure you it will be handled," Luna was talking with a small group of ponies, "Fear not, your safety is assured." Once the group started walking away I managed to walk up to her, "Ah...Tomas...greetings.

"Yo....what is all this?"

She gave an exasperated sigh, "With the royal guard looking for your brother many fear their safety, they come to me to assure themselves,"

"....oh....bummer...can I help in any way?" I asked, turning back to the massive line of ponies.

"No Mr. Eldridge, these are simple, if time consuming, matters. Perhaps once my sister takes her place we can speak again,"

"Right....well....bye," I slinked off towards the door, the line slowly eeking its way forward, "Man....that's a bloody raw deal...."

"Oi...you're home early." Kim said from behind the couch, "What happened?"

"Eh nothing.....really dull day after all...." I tossed the content of my pocket into a drawer, "I'm gonna go relax...."

"Right, it's about bed time for me too," She got up and brushed past me, "see ya whenever ya wake up..." She ducked into her room and slammed the door. Have you ever noticed she never showers?

".....Jesus...." I quickly went into my bathroom and started the shower, "God...I never wanted to think about that..."

Jesus Tomas....really?

Well at least I didn't stick it in some random mare!

There is no reason to focus so much attention on it....

Yeah there is, BECAUSE YOU STUCK IT IN SOME RANDOM MARE YOU GIT *Crash* "The hell?!"

I quickly switched off the shower and jumped out. Tomas towel!

"It's my fucking house!" I rushed towards my room, it sounded like someone broke a window. I rammed the door and knocked it open, "What the fuck!? Andrew!?"

He knocked the glass away and climbed into my room, "Oh...hi Tom, listen I'm in a bit of trouble here..."

"You're damn right you are!" I bolted to my dresser and found the gun the Russian gave to me. I quickly leveled it with his chest.

"Hey now, Tommy...how about you put that down..."

"No! Fuck you, Get the fuck on the ground!" He slowly stepped towards me.

"Come on Tomas you wouldn't do it, we're family," He creeped towards me, "Now how about you-" I lowered the gun to his shin and squeezed the trigger. *Bang* "OH CHRIST!" He fell to the ground, "TOMAS, WE'RE FAMILY, WHAT THA FUCK!?"

Shoot him again....just to be sure! I holstered the gun, "Ya know Andrew...you're the reason dad drank, and why mom cried all the time...ya fucking ruined my childhood with your stupid shit, and everyone knew you would end up in prison...." I found something to stop the bleeding and tie his hands, "Now....you're going to be locked away for a long time....hopefully long enough for them to figure out what the fuck is wrong with ya," With his leg bound I slowly dragged him outside, stopping to ask Kim to go get the guard.

"Tomas!" Libra and several guards rushed over, "Good work!" The ran over and stopped in a semicircle around Andrew, who I had gagged to stop his obscenities.

"Fucker broke my window...." I said stepping on his leg, "NOT SO FUN WHEN I'M IN CONTROL IS IT!?"

"Tomas, Rhys, please....we can handle this," The two extra guards quickly loaded him onto their backs and started off towards the castle, "You've done us a great service....actually....you know what yes, lets go for a drink!"

"....really?- Sure man!" He started off towards the bar, "Ta celebrate that madman's imprisonment!"

"Indeed, the reports can wait!"

"An then I shaid....is that a pussy or a pussy!?" I burst out laughing, "Get it? Cause....fur....eheheheh..." I slammed my drink on the counter.

"Tomas....you're drink...oh ponyfeathers...."

"Ha....you're a drunk horsh too.....really gentle...-men...this is becoming...out of....eugh...I cant focus"

"Tomas....tell yourself to shhut up...."

"Shut up me....you douche...." How- -rude.... "hesh not shuttin up...."

"Tomas....shut up....other Tomas shut up too....too many of you...."

"Too too too too tooooo, you shaid too alot...."

"No I dont....you do..." He said trying to grab his drink, "I cant...come here...." He eventually pawed at it enough to where it slid off the counter and off the bar.

"Libra....Tomas....I think you drink enough...." The barkeep said sliding over to us, "I think is best if you leave...."

"Hey!.....yeah you're right....hey can your friend help us...I dont shink we can move very well..." I said trying to get to my feet.

"....Bliad'.....Nightshade!" The young mare quickly came from the other side of the counter, "Your brother needs help..."

"Hey I never-" he started tipping off his stool.

"Oh wow....Libra you're really drunk...." She said giggling slightly and stabilizing him, "Thinking about Sparky again?"

"You shut up about Sparky....now he was a stallion!" He slowly managed to slide off his stool.

"Ha....gay horsh..." they started out of the bar and down the street with me following a ways behind.

Why...do...ugh...drink?

"Cause it's yummy....jerk...." I could see Nightshade looking back confused, "Just....talking.....don't worry." She gave me an odd look before turning back around, "An shee....things look better while drunk...look at it....DO IT" She shot around again with a slightly angry glare, "Sorry.....I'm gonna....go...find a place to sober up...." I broke off from the group and stumbled my way home. It was a fifteen minute bout of nausea and confusion, eventually leading us back home.

After fumbling with the keys and falling onto the couch I could finally feel myself overcoming the disgusting feeling. I'd have to go and visit Luna for some attention later....no doubt she would finally let me take the lead for catching that psycho. But...for now I just need a nap. Just a nice, drunk, nap.