The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship

Chapter 86 Pinkie Vs. Ketamine

“Chris! CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS!” Pinkie repeated.

“Uh, Hi, Pinkie.”

Pinkie giggled, “Silly Chris, you already said hi to me. Silly Chris…” Pinkie’s expression suddenly became incredibly serious. “I need you to help me with an important task!”

“Uh… sure Pinkie, what do you need?” Chris asked.

Pinkie leaned her face in close to Chris, “When I wrap myself up in a blanket and pretend I’m a burrito, I need you to dump salsa on me so I can get in character.”

Chris paused, “Can I… can I eat some of the salsa before pouring it on you?”

Pinkie nodded, “Yes, you may.”

Chris smiled, “Alright! Let’s do this!”

Pinkie bounded off towards the bedroom as Chris raised to his feet and and rushed for the kitchen.

Elise held an open bottle of Everclear and gargled, quickly followed by her swallowing. She rapidly shook her head back and forth. “Man, that burns!” She declared.

“Hey, beautiful,” Chris greeted.

“Hey, handsome,” Elise replied. “What’s up?”

“I’m helping Pinkie become a burrito,” Chris explained as he opened the fridge and pulled a jar of salsa out.

Elise took a quick swig of the Everclear, and set it on the counter as she began to sputter and cough, “Cough… cough…Of course you are… How about we get the mirror and Pinkie into the van before I’m too drunk to lift anything and she’s too messy to take anywhere.”

Chris scooped up a handful of salsa in his hand and ladled it into his mouth, “Gwood Idwea!”

Dan opened the door to his bathroom and peered out. He noted that the mirror had been moved from its position of right inside the bedroom. As he looked further he noticed a note taped to his bedroom door that read, ‘Mirror and Pinkie in van, waiting on you.’ He walked out with a towel around his waist. Water dripped from his hair and one of his cheeks was bright red. He snatched the note and examined it, knitting his brow as he did.

Well… it’s curt, so probably Elise… but I thought her handwriting was a tad… less sloppy.

He shrugged and crumpled the note, throwing it over his shoulder. He walked into the bedroom and quickly got dressed in his usual attire of ‘JERK’ shirt and jeans.

Dan quickly exited the apartment and made his way down the steps to the white van parked in front of Casa Paradiso. He slowly opened the sliding door and peered inside.

Elise was the first one to great him, or rather see him. She parted fingers that were covering her face and peered at Dan with one eye. She then motioned him inside with a hand that held a bottle of Everclear.

Dan cocked an eyebrow at her and stepped into the van where he was hit by the strong scent of alcohol and a collection of familiar smells. “Alright, the alcohol I get,” Dan said, “but why does it smell like a Mexican restaurant in here?”

Elise sighed and pointed towards the end of the van.

“Oh…” Dan muttered as he stared into the back of the van

“I’m a burrito!” Pinkie announced happily as her head stuck out from the collection of blankets and bed sheets she was wrapped in.

This was not what caught Dan’s attention, however. Dan was much more focused and concerned with the pile of beans and salsa that had been heaped upon his blanket covered pony girlfriend and the man who was busily grating cheese onto it.

Dan smacked a palm against his forehead then slowly pulled it all the way down his face. “Monkey-face, what the heck are you doing?” Dan asked in a tired tone. “Please tell me you haven’t confused Pinkie wrapped in blankets for an actual burrito and are planning to eat her.”

“Dan, I know you don’t put much stock in my intelligence, but give me some credit,” Chris replied.

Dan rolled his eyes, “Fine. Explain yourself.”

“I’m helping Pinkie get in character,” Chris informed.

Dan pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb, forefinger and middle finger as he clenched his eyes closed. “Great Chris. You really restored my opinion of your intellect there.”

“Well it was Pinkie’s idea!” Chris declared.

Dan opened in eyes a bit kept his fingers in place. “Pinkie’s ideas are bad on a good day!”

“The future is in the PAST!” Pinkie declared. “ONWARDS AIOSHIMA!” she cried as she pointed a hoof out into open space.

Dan motioned to Pinkie, “Today, Pinkie is having an off day, so off in fact, that she’s no longer on this planet! She's in deep space charting new courses in crazy land!” He continued, “So her ideas are horrendously bad, and you are an idiot for going along with them.”

Chris shot Dan an angry glare, “Oh yeah! Well…” Chris trailed off and frowned.

Dan folded his arms, “You don’t actually have anything to say in defense of yourself, do you?”

Chris sighed and let his arms drop to his sides, “No… no I do not.”

“You did this because you figured you could snack on anything you dumped on her, didn’t you?”

“Uh… yeah…” Chris admitted. “…I’m not even going to try to deny that…”

“Snack rhymes with yak!” Pinkie cried. “COINCIDENCE?!

Dan sighed, “Yes, goofball, it is!”

“THAT’S JUST WHAT THE ILLUMIYAKI WANT YOU TO BELIEVE!” Pinkie cried as she pointed a forehoof at Dan.

Dan’s eye twitched briefly before he heard the sound of something sloshing in a bottle. He turned to see a red faced Elise offering him the open bottle of Everclear.

“Wanna hit?” Elise asked. “It takes the edge off…”

Dan grabbed the bottle and placed it up to his lips, he tilted his head and bottle back and took a giant swig. Gulping it down with nary a reaction.

A hint of admiration entered Elise’s expression as he lowered the bottle, “Wow Dan, I’m impressed. You took a swig of that stuff without flinching.”

Dan glanced at her, “You think this burns, you should try tear gas.”

“That’s quite the pain tolerance you have there, that stuff is like… what? 90… 95 percent ethanol?”

Dan turned towards the back of the van again, this time focusing on the mirror that was secured in place with a number of ropes. “Thanks Sparkler, how’s it going?”

Twilight stared up at Dan from the collection of books and spells in front of her and shrugged, “I’ve accepted that there’s simply a new level of surrealism to my life I’m going to have to deal with until we figure this out.”

Dan nodded, “I hear that.” He turned to Elise, “Are you too drunk to do science?”

Elise narrowed her eyes and shot Dan a smirk, “I’m never too drunk to do science.”

Dan and Twilight exchanged a quick, moderately concerned glance.

“Uh… good enough… I guess…” Dan said. He turned to Chris, “Hey, fatty-fat- fat- fat, stop stuffing your face with all the stuff you’ve dumped on my blanket covered girlfriend and drive us to your home.

“But I’m delicious!” Pinkie protested.

Chris grinned sheepishly as he lowered his bean, cheese, and salsa covered hand from his mouth and walked towards the front of the van.

Dan walked towards the back of the van and sat in between Pinkie and the mirror.

“How you holding up, goofball?”

“There’s a lot of things you can eat that aren’t food!” Pinkie replied.

“Truth!” Chris shouted from the front of the van.

Dan sighed and took another quick swig from the bottle he was holding, “Yeah, that’s what I thought…”

Twilight shot the short man a sympathetic look, “Don’t worry Dan. We’ll get her back soon.”

Dan sighed, “I hope so, Twilight.” He looked down as Pinkie grabbed his shoe, brought it up to her mouth, and began gnawing on it. “I really do…”

Chris examined his surroundings as he sat in a clean looking, chrome, metal chair. The walls were grey and barren, much like pretty much everything else he had seen in what he could only describe as an underground secret lair. The monotony of the plain surroundings was broken by equipment and fantastic, if somewhat frightening looking, devices that were spread across the complex. This room in particular sported something more benign looking, a set of laboratory equipment on top of a counter, and a rather large looking super computer with a couple of monitors and other peripherals attached. Pinkie sat in front of the equipment as Elise knelt in front of the pink pony.

Next to Chris lounged Dan in another metal chair, and next to him sat Pinkie’s ornate mirror. Through the mirror was Twilight, who still laid on her stomach in her library with scrolls and spells spread around her. She looked out the mirror with focused interest at Elise and the equipment she was using.

“I can’t believe all this is attached to the shed,” Chris declared as he looked around. “This place is bigger than our house.”

“Well… I promised I wouldn’t take my work in the house anymore,” Elise replied, “so I had to have a little work area created for myself.”

“I guess it beats the near constant threat of radiation or poisonous gas exposure,” Chris mused.

Elise held up a small blue funnel attached to a small plastic tube in front of Pinkie’s face, “Spit please”

Pinkie’s eyes rolled back in her head as she scrunched her muzzle up and made a phlegmy sound, “Sniiiffghghg…pttouhh…”

“HA!” Dan cried as Pinkie spat a massive, viscous glob of saliva all over the funnel, the tube, Elise’s hand, and Elise’s face.

Elise shot the pink pony an annoyed glance as she wiped thick, gooey substance from off her face. “Pinkie, I just needed you to get a sample into the funnel,” she explained.

“But I have so much juice to share!” Pinkie cried. She gave Elise a mad grin, “Especially with Dan.”

Elise looked across the sterile, concrete room to Dan, “I think the tranquilizer is starting to wear off.”

Dan rolled his eyes, “I got it…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a three inch long cylindrical device and hit a button on it. Suddenly, a glowing red dot appeared on the wall across from him.

Pinkie gasped, “My tiny, glowing red friend is back!” She tilted her head as she stared at the dot. “Hello glowing, red friend! Please let me hold you!” Pinkie galloped over to the wall and started batting at the red dot as Dan moved the laser pointer. “NO! Come back glowing red friend! LET PINKIE LOVE YOU!” Pinkie said as she ran back and forth across the room and desperately batted her forehoofs against the wall.

“Do you really think that will hold her interest for long?” Twilight asked.

“TEACH ME YOUR MYSTERIOUS RED, GLOWING WAYS!” Pinkie cried.

“Yes,” Dan replied simply.

“Uh… fair enough,” Twilight replied.

From her chair in front of her computer setup Elise frowned, “Well… that’s unexpected.”

“What is it, Elise?” Twilight asked.

“I can’t seem to get a good reading on Pinkie’s DNA,” Elise explained, “there seems to be a number of other foreign components mixed with it.”

“So what you’re saying is you’re useless,” Dan said snidely, “surprise, surprise.”

Elise shot Dan a glare.

“Dan,” Twilight said in a somewhat maternal tone, “give Elise a chance. Pinkie’s not from your dimensions and also can do a number of things we haven’t even been able to explain. I’m sure given enough time here, we’ll start coming up with some useful data.”

Elise smiled at Twilight. “Thank you Twilight,” she said earnestly, “at least someone here appreciates what science can offer.”

Dan sighed and rolled his eyes, “Fine whatever… Just hurry it up! I don’t want to spend all day faking my girlfriend out with a laser pointer.”

“GOTCHA!” Pinkie said as she placed both her forehooves over the dot. The dot quickly appeared on her forearm. “Ooo, a quick one, eh? Bet you didn’t count on this~!” She sang as placed her mouth over the dot and bit down. “OUCH! IT STUNG ME!”

“…As oddly entertaining as it is,” Dan added.

Elise squeezed a pipette over a small, rectangular glass microscope slide, allowing a drop of Pinkie’s saliva to fall out. She carefully picked up a small, square glass cover slip and placed it over the droplet of viscous, translucent material. She slid the slide under a microscope and peered into the scope. “No… it can’t be… ” she murmured in disbelief.

“What?” Chris asked as Dan and Twilight looked on in interest.

Elise shook her head and sighed. “Chris, hit the lights,” she said.

Chris complied and the room went dark.

“Ha, ha!” Pinkie said. “You fool! Now that I have waited for nightfall, you are even easier to spot!” she cried as she continued to chase the red back and forth on the wall.

Elise hit a button on her microscope and a round image projected onto the wall in front of her.

Twilight’s mouth unhinged as she stared at the image, “I don’t believe it…”

Dan sighed, “I do…”

“Hey, where’d Mr. Red Shiny go....” Pinkie paused and looked up at the image that was being projected. “Hey! That looks fun!” she cried.

The round image projected a number meandering, clear round creatures suspended in a watery substance. However, these creatures sported party hats, noisemakers, and seemed to be engaged in a rousing game of ‘pin the flagellum on the bacteria’.

“Wait… so whatever is in Pinkie is having a party?!” Chris cried.

Twilight shook her head, “This can’t be happening! This is not scientifically possible!”

“Honestly, the most surprising thing here is you’re all surprised,” Dan said. He knitted his brow at Twilight. “What’s with the mug? Are you drinking?”

Twilight tilted her head back and emptied the contents of a wooden mug into her mouth. She set the mug down next to her and wiped a bit of foam from her mouth. “What!” she protested. “Everyone else was drinking! I was starting to feel left out.” Her expression softened slightly, “Also, I needed something to take the edge off. It’s been a weird couple days.”

Dan sighed. “I’ll drink to that,” he declared as he reached down for the Everclear bottle next to his chair, raised it, and took a swig.

“Chris, turn the lights back on,” Elise commanded.

Chris did as asked.

Elise opened up a cupboard under her counter and fished out her largest funnel.

“Hey Elise?! What’s going in there?! Is there fun in there?! Are you hoarding fun?! Tell me! TELL ME! TELL ME! TELLMETELLMETELLME!”

“Dan could you…?”

Dan turned his laser pointer back on and shook it about, allowing the dot to dart randomly across the room’s floor.

“BACK FOR MORE, EH!” Pinkie cried. “HAVE AT YOU!” she said as she began chasing the dot again.

Elise rigged her large funnel up to another small tube. She turned to Dan, “Thanks, Dan. That’ll do.”

Dan hit a button on his laser pointer.

Pinkie gasped, “He vanished!” Her expression immediately turned serious. “I will not rest, I will not eat, I will not do anything else until the red glowing dot is…”

“Pinkie?” Elise asked. “I need you to spit into this funnel,” she said as she held the item up in front of her face.

“Oh! Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie said enthusiastically. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she scrunched her muzzle up and made another phlegmy sound; this one louder and more drawn out than the last, “Snffiiiffffghghgghg…pttoughgh…”

“Oh, COME ON!” Elise cried as she lowered the phlegm covered funnel, the same substance clung to most of her body.

“So much juice!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Dan quickly erupted into a fit of laughter “Pffft…HAHAHAHAHAHA…!” He fell out of his chair with a soft, ‘Thud’ and continued his laughing fit from the floor, “…HAHAHAHAHA…!”

“Uh…should I get you a towel?” Chris offered.

Elise sighed, “Don’t bother, who knows what other fluids Pinkie might share with me before the day is out…”

Dan paused… “Alright, I’m kinda icked out by that last statement…”

“It’s okay, Dan,” Pinkie said, “I’ll share most my fluids with you!”

“Alright, now I’m really icked out!”

“You know…” Twilight said, “I’m kinda glad I’m in another dimension at the moment… It’s cleaner, here,” she added.

Elise collected a sample from her tube and went about setting it up for another look under the microscope. “Ooookaaaay… These cells seem to be at some sort of crazy, microscopic circus…”

Twilight merely stared out the mirror with an unamused look as her mug glowed purple and floated away from her. On her side of the mirror, there was the sound of liquid quickly filling a cup, and soon the mug was back in sight s Twilight took another large gulp.

“Soo…” Pinkie cooed as she turned to stare at Dan, “…about all these fluids I have…”

Dan wasted no time in turning his laser pointer on.

Pinkie gasped, “Get it, get it, get it!” she cried as she chased the red dot across the floor, up the wall, and onto the ceiling.

Everyone paused as they stared up at Pinkie with dropped jaws.

“Pinkie?! How are you doing that?!” Twilight asked.

“Doing what?” Pinkie asked as she continued to bat at the red dot on the ceiling.

“You’re on the ceiling, goofball!” Dan informed.

“Huh?” Pinkie said as she looked up, or down rather. “AHHH!” she cried as she fell back to the floor with a painful sounding ‘Thump!’

“Pinkie?!” Dan called in alarm as he rushed to his fallen girlfriend’s side, “Are you okay?!”

Pinkie woozily looked up into the green eyes of her boyfriend. Her mouth suddenly shot open wide, “DAN!” she cried as she leapt off the floor and tackle-glomped the short man.

“Ooof… I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” Dan said with a slightly strained tone as Pinkie held onto him with a vice like grip.

“Dan!” Pinkie said excitedly, “Dan, Dan, Dan, Danny, dance, dandy, dandelion, da…”

“WHAT?!” Dan shouted in an irritated tone.

“Hi, Dan!” Pinkie said.

Dan sighed, “Hi, Pinkie.”

“Hey, Dan?” Pinkie asked. “Guess what! Guess what! Guess what, guess what, guesswhatGuesswhat!”

“Uh… I smell nice?” Dan asked in a pensive tone.

“No, that’s…” Pinkie paused and lowered her snout to Dan’s hair and took a few quick sniffs, ‘Sniff…sniff…Actually, you do smell nice,” she declared, “but that’s not what I was going to say!” Pinkie informed.

“Oh… what then?” Dan asked.

“I’m hungry,” Pinkie informed. “I mean, really, really, hungry.”

“Oh,” Dan replied, “I’m sure we can…”

“IT’S JUST NOT FAIR, DAMNIT!” Pinkie declared as the faucets behind her eyes turned full blast and she starting wailing. “WHUOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Dan grumbled irritably from his spot on the floor as salty tears rained down on him, “Well… there are worse fluids you could have shared…”

“Why don’t you two take Pinkie back up to the house and find her something to eat,” Elise suggested, “I think Twilight and I could use a little quiet time to work this out.”

“Pffft, yeah right,” Dan replied, “you just want to be alone with Twilight so you can start fangirling around her without us watching.”

Pinkie suddenly stopped crying and looked up. “…And you you’ll be all like,” Pinkie place her forehooves against her cheeks and emitted a girly shriek, “‘AAAAAAEEEEE!’ And then Twilight will get all red-faced and embarrassed”—Pinkie’s expression turned bashful—“because she doesn’t know how to react to fangirling,” Pinkie pointed a forehoof at Elise, “and then you’ll get all apologetic because you want Twilight to think you’re cool and smart, but because you’ve never seen a purple, smart, magic, flying alicorn before you’re going to continue to be all giddy and giggly around her and make a dork of yourself…”

Dan began to chuckle to himself as Elise’s face got increasingly redder and redder.

“…and Twilight will be understanding but you’ll reflect on it and convince yourself that Twilight thinks you’re a total pyscho geek and then you’ll like… cry for hours and hours and hours and eat like a gallon of ice cream and-Ooo! Ice cream sounds good!” Pinkie looked down at the person she was sitting on. “Dan, can we get ice cream.”

“Uh… Hey monkey-face, you got any ice cream?”

Chris cocked an eyebrow at Dan, “Whose house do you think this is?”

Dan paused and nodded, “Alright, yeah… I walked right into that one.”

Twilight glanced over at Elise. Elise stood motionless except for her fists which hung at her side and trembled as she clenched them tightly. Elise hung her head low, but Twilight could still catch a glance of bright red cheeks and tears streaming down her face. “Dan, I think it’s a good idea for you take Pinkie upstairs with Chris. Elise and I will probably work better without the distractions.”

“Uh sure, Sparkler,” Dan looked up at Pinkie. “Hey goofball, its food time.”

“You know…” Pinkie said, “…I’m actually starting to like it riiight here…” Pinkie said with a grin.

Dan rolled his eyes and pulled out his laser pointer. He turned it on and pointed the dot towards the long corridor that went passed the room.

“MY MORTAL ENEMY!” Pinkie cried. “SO WE MEET AGAIN!”

Pinkie jumped off of Dan and raced for the dot. She crashed into the concrete wall with a loud ‘thud!’ “I’m okay!” she announced as her back rested against the wall with her head on the floor and her back hooves dangling over her.

Dan got to his feet, walked towards the corridor, hit the laser pointer, and moved it down the hall.

“MINE!” Pinkie cried as she scampered down the hall after the dot.

‘Thud!’

“I’M OKAY!” Pinkie assured from the end of the hall.

Dan rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. Chris followed.

Twilight turned back to Elise, “Are you okay?”

Elise quickly wiped the tears away from her face and looked up at Twilight with red cheeks and puffy eyes, “Fa…fine…” she stammered out.

“It’s okay, Elise. You can tell me the truth,” Twilight said. “It’s been a pretty rough day for me, too. Worse than yesterday… and that’s saying a lot!” Twilight paused, “…Was it what Pinkie said?”

Elise nodded weakly.

Twilight chuckled to herself, “I thought as much… If it makes you feel any better, Pinkie’s done that to some of her friends here without the aid of a delirium inducing psychotropic.”

“It’s just… you’re so cool!” Elise squealed.

Twilight blushed slightly, “I’m not that cool.”

“Yes you are!” Elise exclaimed. “You’re a talking pony that can fly and use magic!”

“Well… I’m not very good at flying,” Twilight offered sheepishly.

“Well, I can’t fly at all…” Elise said. “Unless you count helicopters, jet-planes, and experimental hovercrafts…”

Twilight’s ears perked up and her eyes widened excitedly, “That’s it!”

“What’s it?” Elise asked as she turned to Twilight.

“When you mentioned some of the devices you could fly I was impressed… I mean… Pinkie’s talked about a few of them and we have somethings that compare, but not nearly all the technology you have on your world. Maybe you can tell me more about your skills.” Twilight smiled, “That way we can be in awe of each other instead of you just amazed I can use magic.”

Elise paused and thought about this, “Well… I am something of an inventor…” she offered.

“Really… show me something you’ve made…”

Elise paused, “Alright… first let me change into something that’s not covered in spit.”

Twilight chuckled, “Naturally.”

Elise walked back into the room wearing a button lab coat. She held an apple in one hand and a boxy, gun metal colored carbine in the other that was covered in several knobs, switches, and blinking LED lights.

Twilight looked on with interest as Elise set the apple down on the counter walked back a few yards to stand next to the mirror, and leveled her gun at it.

“Does that… does that change apples to oranges?” Twilight guessed.

Elise chuckled, “In a manner of speaking…” She pulled the trigger on the weapon and out fired an arcing electric blue and yellow line of electricity, like a bolt of controlled lightening, which hit her target.

Twilight watched in amazement as the apple shrank into seemingly nothing, replaced by some sort of yellow glow.

Elise smiled, “Now… to reel it in…” She pressed another button on the weapon and the electric arc as well as the glow retracted into the weapon. The end of it hissed and smoked slightly as the light from the shot cleared.

“Wha…what was that?!” Twilight asked as her eyes remained open in amazement at the scene she had just witnessed.

Elise smiled at Twilight, “Neat huh? I modified a matter adjustment ray. I figured out I could use its shrinking properties to the point where I started breaking down the matter into pure energy. I then capture that energy to help power the machine itself for its next shot.” Elise frowned, “It’s not perfect though. There’s always a slight energy loss… stupid second law of thermodynamics…” Elise muttered.

“Oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH!” Twilight exclaimed. “Elise! That’s amazing! I mean… I figured you were smart by the way Pinkie talked about you, but I didn’t think you were a certifiable genius!”

Elise grinned as her face turned red, “You… you really think so?”

“Are you kidding?!” Twilight replied. “The stuff you’ve created is amazing! And without magic?! I mean… that’s just incredible! It’s beyond incredible! I’ll admit I was a little skeptical that you could turn Pinkie back… but now that I’ve seen all this…” Twilight smiled wildly, “… alright, let’s figure this out! You and I!”

Elsie grinned wide, “Really!?”

Twilight smiled and nodded, “Really! With your scientific knowledge, my magic, and our combined intellect, I bet there isn’t a limit to what we could do!”

Elise chuckled, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about the prospect of combining magic and science.”

Twilight’s smile began to widen, growing wild and untamed as her lips drew further and further apart, “Can you imagine what we could do?”

Elise’s expression suddenly went serious, “Anything… probably literally anything…”

“The laws of physics would become our plaything!” Twilight declared.

“Why stop at physics?” Elise asked.

Twilight’s eyes widened, “You’re right Elise! Why stop at physics!? REALITY WOULD BEND TO OUR WILL!”

“WE’D BE UNSTOPPABLE!” Elise declared. “THE MOST POWERFUL TEAM OF FEMALE SCIENTISTS IN THE WORLD!”

“World?!” Twilight cried. “TRY UNIVERSE! WE’D BE ALL POWERFUL!”

“DEMI-GODS!” Elise added.

“GODS THEMSELVES!” Twilight replied.

“YES!” Elis cried.

“YESyesyesyesyesYESYES!” Twilight said in a fervor of mad excitement.

Drunk on the prospects of their combined abilities, and just slightly drunk to begin with, the girls erupted into mad, maniacal cackles that echoed through the underground compound.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…”

The two women paused and glanced each other. They quickly looked away and began coughing and clearing their throats. They both took a few more quick samples of the beverage available to them and turned to face each other once more.

“Maybe we should concentrate on changing Pinkie back,” Twilight suggested.

Elise nodded, “Cough…Yeah… good idea…” She sighed, “I just wish I could make sense of her cells! I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Twilight paused. Suddenly her eyes shot open wide. “Maybe you can test multiple samples and look for some commonality between them, like some sort of mean… I’m sure that’ll clear up all the oddities of the samples,” she suggested.

“That’s a great idea!” Elise said, “My computer should be able to do that easily enough.”

Elise and Twilight smiled at each other, finally they’d be able to make some progress.

“OH, COME ON!” Elise shouted as she stared at the computer screen.

Twilight took another gulp from her mug, “No luck, huh?”

Elise shook her head. “NO!” she said in frustration, “It seems no matter how many samples I try to normalize the data with, I can’t get rid of all the fructose, sucrose, or rubber elements!” Elise reached for the bottle of Everclear next to her and took a quick swig, shuttering slightly as the substance burned her throat on the way down. She sat the bottle back down, “Cough…cough…It’s like Pinkie is partially made out of cotton candy and bubble gum! I even collected a few hair samples of the ground and tried those, and they just gave me the same results!”

“Is it sad that I can believe that?” Twilight asked before she took another gulp of her drink. She sat the empty mug down. “Well, I’m out of sensible ideas…” she announced.

Elise raised an eyebrow at Twilight, “Did you want to try some nonsensible ones?”

“What did you have in mind?”

Elise shrugged, “I figured we could just start bombarding samples of Pinkie’s DNA with magic and different rays and see what happens.”

Twilight giggled. A purple glow enveloped her cup and drifted out of sight briefly, and returned full of a foamy substance. “I’ll drink to that.”

Elise grinned and picked up the bottle of Everclear, she walked up to the mirror and held her bottle up.

Twilight and Elise lightly tapped their beverages against their own side of the mirror and brought them to their lips.

Elise smiled wide behind a pair of large, yellow tinted, goggles as she placed a petri dish under an aperture. She slid a thick, clear, transparent protector into place and stood back from the large, black, boxy device that held the sample provided by Pinkie and the aperture.

Twilight peered through the mirror with interest. Her eyes were now covered with a pair of dark, protective goggles. “So, this device does…?” she asked.

“It bombards whatever is under the aperture with gamma radiation,” Elise informed.

Twilight giggled and shook her head, “Amazing.”

Elise smirked at the purple alicorn, “Want to fire your magic into the sample at the same time and see what happens?”

“DO I?!” Twilight cried enthusiastically.

Elise pulled a small remote control from her pocket and hit a button, “Then let’s get started.”

Lights on the machine began to come to life and blink rapidly as the machine hummed.

Twilight smiled mischievously to herself as her horn glowed purple, “This is my favorite kind of magic!”