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The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442

Chapter 94: Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 83 Dan Vs. Awkward Silence

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The Wheel and the Butterfly







A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga







Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship







Chapter 83 Dan Vs. Awkward Silence

-ooooooo-

Pinkie continued to snooze quietly on Dan’s chest as he was left trapped on the bathroom floor.

Just out of the doorway sat Pinkie’s ornate mirror displaying Twilight Sparkle as she sighed heavily and concentrated on the spells in front of her.

Dan attempted to shimmy out from other Pinkie, but found every time he moved, her legs and arms would wrap tight around him and pin him in place.

Dan sighed, “Looks like I’m stuck here.”

Pinkie’s quiet snoring and Twilight’s silence was Dan’s only response.

Dan leaned his head back to shoot a quick glare at the purple alicorn. “Hey, Sparkles…”

“What!?” Twilight replied in an irritated tone of voice.

“... Nothing…” Dan said as he shook his head. He suddenly smiled, “Here kitty, kitty… here Mr. Mumbles…”

Dan waited for the pitter-patter of kitty paw pads on the floor but there was nothing.

“Great,” he growled out sarcastically, “she must be out.”

“No doubt with that compact, disrupting the Princess Summit,” Twilight uttered in annoyance.

-ooooooo-

“MERRROW!” Mr. Mumbles cried angrily.

“Unwashed offspring of a three-toed-sloth!”

HISSSSSSSS!”

“Fascist courtesan!”

“Uhhh… sooooo…” Shining Armor said has he simply trailed off. He stared At Celestia from across the table as the alabaster alicorn continued to hurl insults at a grey, mangy cat on the other end of plain looking mirror with a wooden frame.

Cadance sighed and shook her head, “Doesn’t seem like we’re going to get much done this summit.”

“…You two act like these are out of the ordinary diplomatic proceedings,” Luna replied.

“Wait, you mean this has happened before?!” Shining Armor asked in disbelief.

Luna nodded, “We’re at the ‘almost completely random insults’ part of the debate. You should have seen the fights my sister had with the Gryphon representative over a thousand years ago. They were so legendary that we had stain glass windows commissioned and installed in the grand hall.”

“Huh… how come I’ve never seen them?” Cadance asked.

“We had to put them in storage because we kept getting complaints about how vulgar they were,” Luna explained.

MERROW! HISS!

“Slutty dishwasher assistant!”

-ooooooo-

“Well that’s hardly my fault!” Dan cried

“Is it?” Twilight asked as she cocked an eye at Dan.

“WHAT! I wasn’t even here when you morons made the second mirror and Pinkie gave Mr. Mumbles her compact,” Dan reminded.

Twilight scrunched her lips to the side as she considered Dan’s words. “Still your cat,” she mumbled out.

“Yeah! So? It’s not like I arranged for Mr. Mumbles and tallest horse to get into it with each other!”

“Alright, fine!” Twilight said exasperatedly. “You still cause mayhem wherever you go.”

Dan rolled his eyes, “Really now.”

“Oh please,” Twilight said, “don’t try to act innocent here.”

“Oh you mean here?!” Dan cried. “Right here trapped under my girlfriend who’s gone into crazy, nymphomaniac, pony mode and wants to work it out with me by locking me in small, cramped room with her and nailing potential exits closed?! Go ahead Sparkler! Explain how this is my fault! Come one!”

“Well uh… you…”

“Please explain how it’s my fault we get transported to another dimension and she got changed back into a pony.”

“…Erm… that is to say…

“Ooo, ooo! Here’s a good one! Explain to me how it’s my fault those same cloudy jerks tried to kill her!”

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprised, “What? Kill her? I thought they just were trying to banish her…”

“Well they changed their minds apparently, I had rip a hole in The Nexus through sheer force of anger then beat one of those things senseless.”

“…You’re not joking, are you?”

“Why would I joke about that?!” Dan cried. “Oh, wait! Explain to me…”

“Dan, stop,” Twilight said, “You’re right, I’m wrong.”

“DON’T YOU INTERRUPT… wait…”, Dan’s eyes widened in surprise, “what did you say?”

“You’re right, I’m wrong,” Twilight repeated.

“…Huh…” Dan replied.

“Well? Aren’t you going to say that you’re always right or something like that?” Twilight asked.

“Uh… honestly, no one has ever so quickly admitted they were wrong to me… I can sometimes berate Chris into admitting as such, but it usually takes a lot more screaming...”

“Well,” Twilight began, “it’s just this whole situation is so stressful… and weird! I’m sorry I’m taking it out on you. I mean… you saved Pinkie! If it wasn’t for you she’d be lost to us… all of us, forever! I should be thanking you.”

“You really should,” Dan said with a nod.

Twilight paused, “…Thank you, Dan. You saved one of my best friends where I couldn’t… I’ll never forget it.”

“Uh… sure, Twilight…” Dan said in an almost uncomfortable tone as he rubbed the back of his head, “…it’s what I’m here for.”

“I mean…” Twilight continued, “… you can hardly be blamed Pinkie’s pheromones aren’t working on you.”

“…My, what an utterly bizarre thing to say…” Dan replied as he looked up at Twilight in confusion.

“…Sorry…” Twilight said, “I forgot all my mating talk makes you uncomfortable… “

“You are oddly eager to share it with me,” Dan pointed out.

Twilight blushed slightly, “Just… just trying to be helpful…”

There was another awkward pause.

“Alright, Sparkles. Lay it on me.”

“Uhh… lay what on you.”

“Whatever skeevy science presentation you want to share, go ahead.”

“But you always make fun of me or yell when I talk about this stuff,” Twilight pointed out.

“I’m trapped on my bathroom floor with nothing to do. Even your bizarre equine society talk seems interesting at this point. Also, I’m afraid if I make too much noise, Pinkie will wake up and go all crazy sniffy, nibbly on me again… Especially since she’s already gotten rid of my jeans button and undone my zipper. There’s very little separating her from her goal at this point.”

Twilight chuckled, “Alright, fine… it’s just… if you were a stallion, it’s unlikely you’d find Pinkie’s behavior off putting… in fact, it might be her trying to get away from you after a little while.”

“Forgive me if I find that completely ridiculous and moronic statement incredibly hard to believe.”

Twilight shot Dan a glare.

“What!” Dan protested. “I said ‘statement’, I made no comment about the stupid horse who said it.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Anyways… A mare in heat can be pretty hard for a stallion to resist, even if they find her behavior a little off-putting at first. If she hangs around long enough, often time her scent will win the stallion over.”

“Uh… so is like… the same true for guy horses?” Dan asked. “Pinkie keeps on mentioning that I smell nice…”

Twilight nodded, “She’s attracted to your smell all right.”

“Hmmm…” Dan thought about this, “Maybe I can get her to lose interest if I cover myself in garbage…”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, “Or you know… take a long shower?”

“Hey, not bad Sparkler, keep throwing ideas out, you’re a good brainstormer.”

Twilight shook her head, “It won’t matter. Pinkie’s going to be very attracted to scent, but she also finds you attractive in other ways. And no matter what you do to yourself, she’ll still be in heat and be one-hundred percent focused on you.”

“Geez, what happens in pony land when a guy just isn’t that interested?”

“Well, that’s just it…” Twilight said, “… Pinkie’s behavior isn’t all that weird because under normal circumstances, you would be interested. Often times, a couple in your position would practically disappear for about a week.”

“Oh?”

Twilight nodded, “Couples have it a lot easier during mating season. They usually have their feelings worked out so things don’t get…uh… messy when the mare’s heat kicks in, or awkward when it’s gone.”

Dan glanced at the sleeping mare on top of him, “I see how that could get pretty awkward.”

“Why do you think Heart’s and Hooves day is before spring?” Twilight asked. “It encourages everypony to find a special somepony before mating season hits so they don’t have to worry about all the crazy symptoms of being in heat without anypony to work it out with.”

Dan cocked an eyebrow, “What the heck kinda stupid Holiday is ‘Hearts and Hooves’ day?”

“Oh right, you wouldn’t have it…” Twilight mused.

“Well, we obviously don’t have hooves,” Dan pointed out.

Twilight nodded, “It’s a holiday where you’re supposed to buy candy and exchange tokens of affection, usually shaped like hearts, with your special somepony. Flash Sentry bought me a giant box of chocolates and so many flowers I ran out of places to keep them…” Twilight smiled, “…He also wrote me poetry…” she paused, “…and also there’s this giant teddy bear he got me that I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with.”

“Oh, like Valentine’s Day,” Dan replied. He knitted his brow, “Man… orange horse has it bad for you…”

Twilight paused, “Has what bad for me?”

Dan blinked a few times, “You’re… joking right?”

“Uhh…” Twilight decided to quickly change the subject, “So you have a similar holiday over there?”

“Well… it’s more of an invented holiday made by corporations to sell chocolate and flowers… but yeah… shame there’s not more attention to the saint it was named after.”

“Oh?” Twilight asked.

Dan smiled, “Yeah, he was beaten with clubs and stones for marrying and helping Christians at a time when it was considered a crime, and when that didn’t kill him, he was beheaded.”

Twilight chuckled, “I see how that would appeal to you… it sounds rather… erm… what was that expression you used to describe our adventures? Uh… Steel?”

“Metal?” Dan suggested.

Twilight smiled and nodded, “Yes, metal.”

SNORT…

Dan’s eyes shot open as he held perfectly still at the sound Pinkie just made.

Twilight, likewise went completely quiet and kept a pensive eye on her friend.

Snore…zzzzzzzzz…

Dan and Twilight both breathed a sigh of relief.

Twilight sighed, “I just wish… I just wish I could get her back here somehow… even until this whole thing blew over… She’s good at keeping her mind of her urges here.

“Does it really bother you that much?” Dan asked.

“Does what bother me that much?”

“That Pinkie’s stuck here.”

“Well, yeah… there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about how I can get her back,” Twilight answered.

“But you get to talk to her almost whenever you want. And hey,” Dan said with an enthusiastic smile, “you even helped find her in the first place.”

“Thanks Dan,” Twilight said with a smile, “It’s just not quite the same without her here… She really knows how to put a smile on everypony’s face.”

Dan patted Pinkie lovingly as she continued to snooze quietly on his chest. “I noticed,” Dan said.

Twilight smiled at Dan’s gesture, but soon the two quickly found themselves awkwardly avoiding each other’s eye contact.

“…I’m sorry…” Dan uttered.

“…What?” Twilight replied, unsure of what Dan was sorry for, or what had come over him to make him apologize for anything.

“I’m sorry about the whole, ‘lonely nights’ crack,” Dan said. “I mean… you probably would be out right now talking about the proper amount of times to brush hair, or how friendship makes you feel warm inside, or whatever ridiculous garbage you pony princess talk about if it weren’t for all this. Instead you’re stuck in your library ready to blast your friend at a moment’s notice in what has got to be one of the universes most awkward situations…”

Twilight’s face flushed crimson, “Uh thanks… and yeah… it is pretty awkward. Sorry I snapped back at you.”

Dan shrugged, “It wouldn’t have stung if it weren’t true…”

Twilight chuckled, “Ditto…”

“So… I mean… this situation has got to win the grand prize of weirdness at things that happen in pony land, but do you all really have to put up with this multiple times a year?!” Dan asked.

“Well… Pinkie is a special case…”

Dan chuckled, “Special as in ‘needs to attend a class where everyone wears mittens pinned to their jackets all year long’ or special like a snowflake?”

Twilight giggled and waved a hoof about dismissively, “That’s not what I meant… I mean… it’s not uncommon for mares to go loopy this time of year. Usually everypony without a special somepony just figures out a way to keep themselves busy.”

Dan paused as he processed Twilight’s last sentence, “…Was that intentional.”

Twilight’s expression turned confused, “Was what intentional?”

Dan shook his head, “Nothing, never mind.”

The two continued to look at each other as both attempted to sort out something to keep the conversation going.

“You know… this reminds me something.”

“Yeah?” Twilight replied.

“Elise and I were snowed inside a cabin for about a day.”

Twilight chuckled, “From what I’ve heard from Elise, I’m surprised she didn’t try to kill you.”

“What makes you think she didn’t?”

“Touché. So… did you two talk like this?”

“Uh… no… not really,” Dan admitted, “mostly we argued and drove each other up the walls until we figured escape was our only option. We only opened up when we figured we were both going to die.”

Twilight winced, “Glad things aren’t that desperate, here.”

“Speaking of being alone… where the heck is my Accidental Arson Bro?”

“Spike? Well, he said he had some sort of important meeting to go to…”

-ooooooo-

“I mustache you a question,” Spike said as he twirled his bushy mustache.

“Shave it for later,” Button Mash said with a grin. A mustache, likewise, adorning his upper lip.

“But it’s such a hairy issue,” Spike replied as his grin increased.

“Sorry, but we mustache…” A soft voice said.

Spike and Button Mash turned towards Sweetie Belle, who also sported a mustache, and gave her a blank stare.

“Erm... you know… like ‘must dash’?” Sweetie Belle explained as redness crept onto her cheeks.

“…”

“… HeheheheHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Button Mash began a giggle that slowly grew into uproarious laughter,

Hehehe… Nice one, Sweetie Belle, jab me…” Spike held out a fist that Sweetie Belle bumped with her forehoof as she grinned.

“Hehehe… I’m so glad I asked you to join the Mustache Meeting,” Button said to Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle grinned, “I must admit, I’m growing attached to it myself.”

“… Pffft! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Button Mash and Spike erupted into hysterical fits of laughter as Button banged his hoof on the table and Spike fell out of his chair.

-ooooooo-

“…Anyhow,” Twilight continued, “it’s probably good he’s not here for… well this…”

“What about orange horse?” Dan asked. “I thought he was in town.”

Twilight sighed, “I sent him to the Princess Summit meeting to take notes for me.

-ooooooo-

“…Does ‘prostitute’ have two or three ‘o’s in it…” Flash Sentry asked.

Cadance raised an eyebrow at the orange pegasus, “One…” she answered.

Flash frowned and crossed out something on the notepad in front of him, “Oh…”

Cadance leaned over and glanced at the sheet Flash was writing on, “P-r-o-s-t-i-t-u-t-e” she spelled out.

“Thanks!” Flash said as he happily wrote the word down.

Shining Armor knitted his brow as he stared at Flash, “Are you… are you writing down literally EVERYTHING that’s being said?”

Flash looked up, “Well… Twilight said for me to take notes…”

“Uh… look… I know my sister can be a stickler for detail, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t need to know every nonsensical insult Celestia shouts…”

“HAIRY TOILET UNCLOGGER!”

“MERROW, HISS!”

Luna sighed wistfully, “Ahhh… that one takes me back…”

“But… but I want to make sure I do a good job…” Flash said meekly.

Cadance chuckled and shook her head, “Oh, leave him be, honey… it’s actually really adorable how hard he tries for Twilight.”

“Uh… adorable?” Flash said as his face flushed red and he rubbed the back of his head with a forehoof.

“Adorable?” Shining Armor asked as he cocked an eyebrow at his wife.

Cadance nodded, “Yes, he actually reminds me how you were like when we first started dating.”

Shining Armor’s face turned bright red, “Uh…Hey Flash, why don’t I take over note taking for a while and you go pay my sister a visit.”

Flash’s face lit up, “Really, sir?”

Shining Armor smiled and nodded as he levitated the notepad and pen over to him, “Yeah, dismissed. I’ll make sure to write down…”

“Inglorious mushroom smoker!”

HISSSS!

“… whatever the heck is going on with those two…” Shining Armor finished.

“Thank you, sir!” Flash said as he saluted Shining Armor and dashed away from the table.

Shining Armor turned to his wife, “Was I really that bad when we started dating.”

Cadance raised a hoof to her mouth and giggled, “I have boxes and boxes of your horrible poetry… At least Flash is actually good at that!”

Shining Armor’s ears flopped down around his head as he grinned nervously.

Huff… puff…” Red faced and perspiring, Celestia’s chest puffed in and out as she took deep breaths, “…alright, I admit those where pretty good, for a flea ridden, collection of mange, that is.”

Meeerrrow… Hisss…

Luna raised her forearms onto the table and rested her muzzle against her forehooves, “Oh good, we’ve reached the backhanded compliments portion of the proceedings.”

-ooooooo-

“How do you put up with it all?” Dan asked.

Twilight shot Dan another confused look, “Uh… How do I…?”

“All the crazy pony shenanigans,” Dan interrupted.

Twilight paused and thought about this, “…I can ask the same thing about all the craziness that goes on over there… you know… things that aren’t normally combustible don’t just burst into flames if you push them over, here…”

“Guess we both have our weirdness to deal with…” Dan mused. “Still, you’re like some sort of ruler of all the insane ponies, that’s gotta be rough.”

“Well, I’m still figuring out what my responsibilities are, exactly. I mean… the Mayor still runs most day to day tasks… I just seem to get involved when things get a bit crazy…”

“Which happens like… once a week?” Dan suggested.

Twilight giggled, “Sometimes it sure seems like that…”

Awww… it’s so nice to see you two getting along…”

Twilight and Dan froze as their eyes slowly drifted to the now conscious pink mare sitting on Dan’s chest.

“Uh… how long was that sleep spell supposed to last?” Dan asked.

“It usually gets me through the night…” Twilight said, “but I didn’t account for using it on a pony who probably already got a full night sleep and has a crazy, fast metabolism…”

Speaking of getting along…” Pinkie cooed out as she glanced down at Dan with wild, hungry eyes.

Dan’s eye’s shot back to the mirror, he paused briefly as he stared into it, “…Uh, Twilight… you might want to…”

“ON IT!” Twilight said. Twilight’s horn glowed purple and she quickly shot a beam of purple energy through the mirror and into Pinkie.

“Hmmmm…” Pinkie hummed as she closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly, “that feels nice…”

“Uh… Twilight…?” Dan continued.

“She must be getting use to the spell!” Twilight cried. “I’ll up its power…” The purple beam glowed brighter as it increased in size and continued to engulf Pinkie.

Pinkie’s eyelids began to twitch rapidly as her happy smile pulled up into a look of mild euphoria.

“Twilight!” Dan called.

“Just a little more…” Twilight murmured.

The beam increased in intensity and Pinkie closed her eyes and moaned with pleasure, “Oh YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES…”

“Got her!” Twilight said happily as she ceased hitting Pinkie with the purple beam. “And now to put her to bed…” Twilight’s horn quickly glowed purple once more and another burst of the purple energy hit Pinkie.

The pink mare once again collapsed onto Dan’s chest and she resumed her gentle snoozing.

Twilight’s breathed long, deep breaths in and out of her open mouth. Her lips pulled up into a small smile. “Huff… That did it… puff… that was fast…” Twilight commented, “I guess I’ll have to start increasing the power on my ‘feel good’ beams…”

Dan nodded, “Good work… now, as I was trying to tell you, you might want to turn around and explain the situation to orange flying horse over there… he looks kinda… broken…”

Twilight’s eyes shot open as her pupils shrank until they were drowning in the ocean of her nervous, purple irises. She swallowed and glanced behind her to see Flash starting at her with an expression that mirrored her own.

“… Uh… I take it now’s not a good time for a visit?” Flash asked.

Twilight merely stared at her coltfriend, her deer in the headlights expression nearly set in stone at the moment. She desperately attempted to work her vocal cords and mouth, but no sound came out.

“You know what?” Flash said as he grinned nervously and his face flushed a brilliant shade of vermilion. “I’ll just… I’ll just catch up with you later,” Flash said as he made his back to the Library door and quietly exited.

Twilight said nothing as she stared at the closed door.

“Uh… Twilight?” Dan said. “Come on, speak to me girl… I’m sure this is not as bad as…”

Twilight’s lower began to tremble as her ears flopped down the side of her head. Hot streams of tears began to fall from her eyes as her breathing turned rapid and shallow.

“… you think…” Dan sighed out. He shook his head as Twilight closed her eyes and began to cry out in a low wail that quickly escalated into loud, sorrowful sobs.

Next Chapter: Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 84 Twilight Vs. Freak Out Estimated time remaining: 29 Hours, 15 Minutes
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