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The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442

Chapter 82: Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 71: Pinkie Vs. Breakdown

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The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie sagaPart 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies RelationshipChapter 71: Pinkie Vs. Breakdown

-ooooooo-

-CH!”

Dan winced. Pinkie almost never cussed, aside from in her own pony vernacular. Dan gritted his teeth and dug his hands into his easy chairs rests, preparing for the mother of all freak outs which was likely to occur right on his lap.

“DAN! I’M STILL A PONY! WHAT DO?!” Pinkie shrieked.

“Uh…that sentence needed a subject…” Dan replied.

“THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY GRAMMAR POLICE!” Pinkie screamed she pressed face against Dan and stared at him with wide, panicked looking eyes. “I’M A DIFFERENT SPECIES THAN MY BOYFRIEND!”

“Pinkie…”

“NO! NOT THIS TIME!” Pinkie cried, scooting back on Dan’s lap and leaning back as she leveled a forehoof at him. “This is grade ‘A’, sweeps week, prime Pinkie Pie freaking out time!”

Dan sighed. “Alright, fine…”

Pinkie nodded. “…That’s better…”

“…”

“DAN! I’M STILL A PONY?! WHAT DO?!” Pinkie shrieked.

“You said that already,” Dan said.

Pinkie mushed her forehooves against her cheeks. “IT BEARS REPEATING!” Pinkie screamed.

Dan’s eyes widened as Pinkie latched onto his shirt with his forehooves. “CAN YOU LOVE A PONY?!”

“Uh…I already said, ‘yes’…” Dan said with a pensive grin.

Pinkie began to violently shake Dan. “BUT YOU MAY HAVE JUST SAID THAT TO KEEP ME CALM WHILE WE WERE IN ANOTHER DIMENSION! NOW WE’RE HOME AND WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH BEING DIFFERENT SPECIES!”

“Stop…shak…ing…me…you…id..iot..ic…goof…ball…” Dan stammered out while Pinkie continued to aggressively shake him by his shirt.

Pinkie gasped and stopped shaking Dan. “You called me goofball!” She said with a grin.

“So I…so I did…” Dan uttered dizzily.

Pinkie’s smile suddenly dropped. “Dan, don’t divorce me, please!” she pleaded.

Dan placed his hands on either side of his head in an attempt to steady his vision. “We’re not married.” he reminded.

Pinkie glanced up to the ceiling and tapped a forehoof against her chin. “Oooh, yeah…”

“…”

“Dan, don’t break up with me, please!” Pinkie pleaded, placing her forehooves together under her chin.

“Why the heck would I do that?!” Dan replied.

Pinkie leapt off of Dan’s lap and proceeded to continue her freak out, throwing panicky arms and forehooves out in all directions.

“’Cause if you broke up with me, I’d be devastated! And if I became devastated, I’d have to binge on ice cream, except no one is going to sell me ice cream BECAUSE I’M A FLIPPIN’ PONY!

“…Did you hear what I just said?”

“And since I’m a flippin’ pony, I can’t go to work! And if can’t work I might get deported…”

“Mew?”

Dan watched as Mr. Mumbles trotted out of the bedroom and towards the easy chair.

“…but I can’t be deported back to Equestria, because no one but you even thinks it’s real! So I’ll be deported to France…” Pinkie began to inhale as much oxygen as ponyly possible. “Hwuuuuuuuuuu…

Mr. Mumbled jumped onto Dan’s lap. “Merow?”

“…uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Dimensional mishap,” he said to his cat. “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll wear herself out soon…”

“…uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.” Pinkie let out a large exhale. “…WHERE THEY EAT HORSES!” she screamed.

*an hour later*

“…AND I’LL NEVER LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE SAXOPHONE!”

“Aaaany minute now…” Dan uttered, as much to himself as Mr. Mumbles. “Aaaany minute…”

*another hour later*

“NONE OF MY CLOTHES FIT ME ANY MORE!” Pinkie declared as she wore her now very loose fitting vest and shirt combination with a pair of jeans, he sleeves and pants sleeves laying limp and flat on the ground with her pony legs being far shorter than her human limbs were. Tears began to shoot out of Pinkie’s eyes like a fountain and she buried her face in the arms of her shirt. “WHUAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAhaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Dan grumbled to himself as he continued to stroke Mr. Mumbles.

*a couple hours later*

“…BUT I WON’T LOOK LIKE THE OTHER HORSES AND THEY’LL THINK I’M DEFECTIVE, SO THEY’LL SEND ME TO THE GLUuUuUuUuUE FACTORY! I DON’T WANT TO BE GLUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUE! WHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Pinkie suddenly stopped.

“Not that the last four hours haven’t been…” Dan rolled his eyes “…like…a bonkers amount of fun, but are you finally done?”

“I think I’m hyperventilating!” Pinkie cried.

Dan stared at his pony turned human turned back to pony girlfriend blankly for a second then buried his face in both hands.

“No wait…I’m DEFINITELY hyperventilating!” Pinkie declared as she began to rapidly and loudly breathe air in and out. “HUFFPUFFHUFFPUFFHUFFPUFFHUFFPUFF…I NEED A PAPER BAG!”

“They’re under the sink…” Dan reminded from behind his hands.

Pinkie quickly flashed Dan a wide, mad smile. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, her hair was a frazzled mess. “Thanks, Dan!” She zoomed over to the sink, threw open the doors to the cabinet below, placed a bag over her head, and began her rapid breathing once more. “HUFFPUFFHUFFPUFFHUFFPUFFHUFFPUFF…”

‘POP!’

Dan opened his fingers slightly to peer at Pinkie.

Pinkie’s eyes darted over the popped pieces of paper bag around her.

“I’M A BAG MURDERER!” She cried. “THEY’LL GIVE ME THE CHAIR FOR SUuUuUuURE!” She grabbed another paper bag from under the sink and placed it over her head, continuing her frantic hyperventilating.

“Merow?”

Dan looked down at his cat and sighed. “Yeah, we really should have recycled those at some point…”

‘POP!’

“OH MY CELESTIA, DOUBLE HOMICIDE!”

Dan watched as Pinkie popped 22 more bags over her head in a similar fashion.

‘POP!’

“Oh…huff…my…puff..Celestia…da…double…huff…deca…puff…quadruple…homicide…” Pinkie’s eyes rolled back into her head as her head lolled around on her neck. She collapsed to the floor, legs sprawled on all directions.

Mr. Mumbles jumped of Dan’s lap as the two made their way over to Pinkie.

Prrrrrrr…” Mr. Mumbled bounded up to Pinkie, licking tears from her face.

Pinkie giggled softly “Hehe…good kitty…”

Dan stood above Pinkie with his legs apart, hands on his hips, and gazed down at the pink pony with a look of irritation on his face.

Pinkie looked up at Dan with big, sky-blue, watery eyes and a quivering lip. “Please don’t break up with me.” She pleaded.

“I already said I wouldn’t over four hours ago!” Dan said as he narrowed his eyes at Pinkie.

“Ooooh… Sorrrrrr-yeeeee…” Pinkie offered through a nervous smile and clenched teeth. She glanced around the now thoroughly trashed apartment. The fridge hung open with all kinds of food and beverages strewn about the kitchen area floor, her clothes were strewn all over the apartment, and a couple of the windows were now broken. “Uhhh…guess I over did it…”

Dan cocked an eyebrow. “You screamed at a soda can for 20 minutes straight because you couldn’t work the pull tab.”

Pinkie winced. “I should apologize to that soda can…” she mused.

“Yeah, you threw that out a window and hospitalized a pedestrian.”

Pinkie pursed her lips into a tight frown. “Oh…”

“Finished?”

“Yeah…I don’t have the energy to freak out anymore…”

Dan nodded. “Good.” He leaned down towards Pinkie.

“Hey, what are you…Whoa…”

Pinkie’s expression turned surprised as Dan scooped her up in his arms, made his way back to his easy chair, and sat down, resting the sprawled out Pinkie on his lap.

Dan began to run his hand over Pinkie’s frazzle mane and down her back.

Pinkie felt the tension drain from her body as she finally closed her eyes and relaxed. Enjoying the feeling of Dan’s hand lighting running through her mane and gently caressing her back.

“Sorry,” Dan offered, “I’ve never had a pony as a pet…or girlfriend before.”

“You’re doing fine…” Pinkie cooed softly.

“Look,” Dan began, “I wanted to tell you this…like…a couple hours ago…but you were busy attempting to hang the can-opener for high treason…”

Pinkie winced. “We need a lot of new kitchen tools now, don’t we?”

“Actually, they’re probably all just outside in a pile where you made them walk the plank.” Dan explained.

“We have a plank?” Pinkie asked as she looked up and cocked an eye at Dan. “…Our kitchen tools can walk?”

“Well…no and no,” Dan answered. “You sort of just leaned a piece of wood out of the bedroom window and started pushing everything down it while talking like a pirate.”

“Wow…I uh…really lost it there for a bit, didn’t I?”

Dan nodded. “Now shut up, I’m trying to tell you something important.”

“Right!” Pinkie moved a forehoof over her mouth in a zipper motion.

Uh…I umm…I just wanted to say…erm…well…I still have you here with me…” Dan rubbed the back of his head. “…and…that’s all that matters…’cause I love you…and uh…it really doesn’t matter what you look like...and stuff…”

Wow…maybe I should have practiced that one…

Pinkie whimpered as her eyes began to fill with tears.

Dan stared down at her. “Well?” he asked expectedly.

Pinkie pursed her lips into a pout and pointed at her mouth with a forehoof.

“Oh, right…you can talk now.”

Pinkie moved a hoof over her mouth as if unzipping it. “BEST BOYFRIEND, EVER!” She screeched, raising herself onto her haunches and throwing her arms around Dan’s torso, constricting him in a tight embrace.

GHRK!” Dan uttered as he felt his spine crack slightly.

“Oh Dan,” Pinkie cried as she began to nuzzle her head against her boyfriend’s chest, “I love you so much!”

“Yeah…” Dan choked out. “Could…could you loosen your grip just a tad?” Dan asked. “I need my…spine for all my basic motor functions,” he explained.

“Ooops…” Pinkie retracted he arms and sat back on Dan’s lap. “…Sorry,” she said meekly.

Dan shook his head and gave Pinkie a small smile. “Don’t worry about it.” He suddenly grinned. “Hey, Pinkie?”

“Yes, Dan?”

“Dan you think you can love a human?”

Pinkie’s eyes went wide as a grin fought its way onto her face and happiness into her cadence. They slowly conquered every bit of her features until she was smiling and laughing uproariously.

“…HAHAHAHAHAHA…” Pinkie laughed loudly and hard, even to the point where tears formed in her eyes.

Dan just smiled.

Pinkie began to regain her composure. “Hahahahehehe…” She nuzzled her head against Dan’s chest and chin. “You always know the right thing to say…”

“Huh…I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me, before…” Dan mused.

Pinkie laid back down on her stomach as Dan began stroking her again, “I wonder how the bakery will get on without me tomorrow…” she mumbled.

Dan looked down at Pinkie in surprise. “Wow, you really don’t remember anything about the last several hours, do you?”

Pinkie’s looked up with a panicked expression. “Uh-oh, what I do?”

<-oooooo->

Pinkie once again sat on Dan’s lap, squishing Mr. Mumbles in between the two as she put her forehooves on Dan’s shoulders and continued to scream frantically. “OHMYGOSH, DAN! I WON’T BE ABLE TO GO INTO WORK TOMORROW!”

“Wow…uh…that’s like a new level of not really important at all you just discovered…” Dan replied pensively.

Mrrrrrrrr…” Mr. Mumbles mewed out from in between the couple.

“YOU HAVE TO TAKE OVER FOR ME!” Pinkie screamed.

“Me!? I’m sure Chris…”

“DAN! PINKIE PROMISE ME RIGHT NOW YOU’LL MAKE SURE EVERYTHING GOES OKAY AT THE BAKERY TOMORROW!”

“Uh…really? You think that’s…”

“PROMISE! PINKIE PROMISE RIGHT NOW!” Pinkie shouted as she pressed her face against Dan’s.

MrRrRrRrRrRrR…” Mr. Mumbled mewed angrily as Pinkie squashed her further into Dan’s stomach.

Dan gulped. “Cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief and jumped back onto the floor.

Suddenly, her eyes went wide one again. “I CAN’T WEAR RINGS ANYMORE!”

Dan smacked his hand against his face. “You didn’t wear rings in the first place!”

“Meow…” a more ruffled than usual Mr. Mumbles replied as she went back to laying on Dan’s lap.

“AND NOW I NEVER WILL!” Pinkie declared in a panicked tone.

>-oooooo-<

Pinkie smacked a forehoof against her face.

“Well, I don’t have to go…” Dan offered.

Pinkie sighed. “A Pinkie promise is a Pinkie promise, even if made under duress…”

“That seems unfair,” Dan pointed out.

“Well, I didn’t make the rules…” Pinkie said.

“Uh…I think you did…”

Pinkie paused. “Well…okay, but I’m not going to just change them even if I really want to…”

“If you’re sure…” Dan replied.

Pinkie sighed. “I’m sure…” Her face lit up and she looked at Dan. “Hey! I bet I can just ask Twilight if she knows a way to change me back, while you’re out! She knows everything about magic!”

Dan paused. “And this thought didn’t occur to you several hours ago, because..?”

Pinkie’s face flushed red and she giggled to herself nervously.

Dan shook his head. “Well, whatever…” He gently patted Pinkie’s head and began to sit up.

Pinkie jumped off Dan’s lap unto the floor.

“If I need to show up to bakery before it’s even light out, I better get to bed.” Dan mused as he bent down to take off his shoes. “Traveling to another dimension is hard work…and so is killing the inhabitants of that dimension,” he added shedding his jeans and t-shirt.

Pinkie just stared at Dan with a pensive look. “Bed…right…”

As Dan made his way to the couple’s bed. As he lifted the covers he turned back at the pink pony and shot her look of equal parts confusion and irritation. “Are you coming, or not, goofball?”

Pinkie’s face exploded with happiness. In a pink blur, the lights were out in the apartment as Pinkie turned them off and dove under the covers with her boyfriend.

Pinkie curled up next to Dan and nuzzled her head against his chin as Dan draped an arm across her body.

“Goodnight, Dan. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Dan?”

“Yeah, goofball.”

“Thanks for saving me…and being the best boyfriend ever.”

Dan pulled Pinkie in closer to him. “You’re welcome…uh…thanks for deciding you could love a different species.”

Pinkie erupted in laughter. “HeheheHAHAHAHAHAHA..! You’re too awesome not to love.”

Dan smiled and rubbed his face against Pinkie’s thick, luscious curls. “Yeah, you too.”

Next Chapter: Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 72: Pinkie Vs. Hooves Estimated time remaining: 32 Hours, 4 Minutes
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