The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 8 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Ordinary Week

Chapter 64: Pinkie Vs. Vamparty

*****

Becky struggled vainly in the grip of the two vampires, attempting to twist her arms out of there vice-like grasps.

“Now calm down, girly.” The one in the leather jacket said. “This will be a lot easier on you if you don’t resist.”

The female vampire chuckled. “We can always go ahead and make it painful anyways.”

“Hey, guys.” The third vampire spoke up. “Wasn’t she talking to some…”

‘Shhhlltheeenk’

The vampire suddenly found completing his sentence or even talking difficult given that a silvered katana blade had just sliced neatly through his neck.

Ninja Dave silently hit the ground, landing neatly on his feet and one hand, the other having drawn his katana on the way to the ground. His glasses has been removed as had the hood to his nun’s habit.

The beheaded vampire’s entire body sparked brightly as if it had been lit aflame and quickly reduced to a pile of ash that littered the cavern floor.

Startled the two vampire’s loosened their grip on Becky.

“Hey, what the he…” ‘Shshshshsh’ “AHHHHHHHH!” The male vampire screamed as his chin began to smoke from contact with holy water.

“Where did you…” ‘Thopthopthop’ “AIEEEEEEEEEEE!” The female vampire screeched as silver pellets pierced the fleshy skin behind her chin.

Becky wasted no time and taking advantage of her would be assailants distracted state, having reached for the two boxy guns in her cassock and firing them point blank. She easily escaped their grasp and rushed towards Ninja Dave.

“Where did you go?” Becky asked with a mild hint of irritation in her voice as she leveled her weapons at the vampires.

“Up.” Ninja Dave replied simply.

“You’re going to pay, for that girly…” The remaining male vampire growled out.

“Boy or girl?” Ninja Dave asked Becky as he nodded towards the vampires.

The female vampire spit out number of pellets, wafts of smoke came out of her mouth. “I’m gonna bleed you dry, you ugly waste of flesh.” She growled out in a now, somewhat gravelly voice.

The male vampire looked over Dave’s attire. “Dude, are you wearing a dress?”

“Girl.” Becky answered.

“Boy.” Dave said simultaneously.

Becky leveled her weapons at the female vampire as Dave charged forward, holding his katana blade pointed behind him.

**

“Rock goes up!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she pulled on a one of the lamps.

A taunt chin retracted up into the ceiling, dragging up a large, rectangular carved, spiked rock with it.

‘Chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink’

Mr. Mumbles perched on Pinkie’s shoulder, watching the rock retract back up into the ceiling.

“Rock goes down!” Pinkie said as she pulled another lamp.

‘THWOMP!’

“Rock goes up!”

‘Chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink’

“Rock goes down!”

‘THWOMP!’

“Rock goes up!”

‘Chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink’

“What’s that crate doing on that wagon?”

“Eeeeek!” Pinkie cried in alarm, grabbing the wagon holding Cratey, quickly positioning it, and pulling the tiny lever attached to the small catapult inside.

‘TOING!’

Cratey flew from his position on the wagon, on a collision course for the unknown voice.

“Oh no! That crate is coming right for us!”

‘POW!’

“Ahh! I just got hit by a crate covered in silver wire and it burns!”

A man with slicked back, jet black hair, dressed in black denim pants and a button up black shirt sighed. “Ed, you are without a doubt the worst vampire. ever!”

“Whoops!” Pinkie exclaimed looking over the group of darkly clothed individuals and ‘Ed’ who wore a light-blue button up shirt, and writhed in pain from under Cratey. “Sorry!” Pinkie offered.

“Pffft…whatever.” The female of the group said dismissively, as she flicked out a bit of her long, blond hair out with her hand. “No one likes Ed.”

“Aw, come on guys!” Ed said, wincing as he pushed the crate off of him, his hand smoking slightly from contact with the silver wire as he did. “Vampire solidarity!”

“Shup UP, Ed!” A male vampire with long brown hair cried, dressed in a long, black leather duster. “No one likes your stupid” –The vampire rolled his eyes and air quoted—“‘vampire solidarity’ nonsense.”

“Hey! You guys shouldn’t be so mean to him!” Pinkie insisted.

“Lady, you don’t even know him!” The male vampire dressed all in black said. “And you’re better for it!” He insisted, pointing an assertive index finger at Pinkie.

“That’s cold, Steve.” Ed said, his once flawless, granite skin now sporting several reddish black lines across his face.

“Du’h Ed! I’m a vampire!” Steve replied. “We’re supposed to be cold!”

“Still, doesn’t mean we have to be hostile to one another.” Ed argued as he stood up.

The female vampire folder her arms across her charcoal colored blouse. “Ed, you’re just horrible, you’re lucky the boss thinks your abilities might be useful or someone would have staked you long ago.”

Pinkie walked over towards the group and put a sympathetic hand on Ed’s shoulder. “Awww, leave him alone! I’m sure he’s trying the best he can!”

Ed grasped Pinkie’s hand with both of his and looked deep into her sky-blue eyes with his liquid, golden topaz eyes. “Thank you, but I’m afraid the tragic nature of my condition must mean you and I cannot be together.”

Steve sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. “Oh, here we go…”

The other two vampires, likewise made similar signs of irritation and disgust.

Pinkie gave Ed a blank stare. “Uh…”

“No!” Ed said forcefully. “For your own good you must not fall in love me!” Ed closed his eyes, and placed the back of a hand up to his forehead for dramatic effect. “We’re just from two different worlds! And I’m afraid I’m destined to be alone!”

“Oh…Okay!” Pinkie replied cheerfully as she retracted her gloved hand.

“Huh?” Ed uttered in confusion. “But I thought…”

“Oh my GOSH, Ed.” The vampire in the leather duster exclaimed. “No woman on the planet is dumb enough to fall for your ridiculous ‘tragic figure’ shtick!”

“Whatever, James!” Ed said. “You’re just jealous because no one thinks your stupid leather jacket is cool.”

“IT’S A DUSTER!” James replied angrily. He motioned to Pinkie. “Even she’s dressed in one!”

Pinkie nodded her head up and down vigorously. “It’s true!”

“James’s duster might be lamer than he thinks,” The female vampire said,--

“Hey!” James protested.

--“but at least James is smart enough not to try to woo anyone with such a ridiculous song and dance.”

“But…” Ed protested, “but, I’m impossibly handsome to the point of being almost godlike and have perfectly quaffed bronze hair!” He whined.

“DID SOMEONE SAY RIDICULOUS SONG AND DANCE?!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“…What?” Steve uttered.

“Ooooh! Here in this creepy cave”

“I just made some brand new friends!”

“Now let’s party from the grave”

“And let this shindig beeegiiin!”

Pinkie enthusiastically wrapped her arms around the four vampires who grunted out a trio of pained replies with Ed seemingly enjoying the contact.

“Merrow!” Mr. Mumbles mewed from Pinkie’s shoulder.

“ULGHK!” The female vampire exclaimed in a pained tone. “Lady, what the heck! It’s like you’re wrapped in pure unpleasantness!”

“Awww, come on, Sarah!” Ed exclaimed. “Just enjoy the feeling of vampire togetherness!”

“It’s Mahalath.” Sarah replied angrily.

“Cough…cough…Sarah,” Steve choked out, “No one…ulgh…thinks your ridiculous made up name is cool.”

“IT’S A SUCCUBI!” Sarah insisted. “It’s from…cough…Kabbalah!” She said forcefully. “Read a book, STEVE!”

“NO ONE WANTS TO READ YOUR STUPID NEW AGE GARBAGE!” Steve shouted back.

“IT’S NOT NEW AGE, IT’S JEWISH LORE!” Sarah screamed in reply. “AND AT LEAST I CAN DRESS IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLACK!”

“BLACK IS SLIMMING!” Steve shot back.

“Cough…WHY ARE WE STILL LETTING HER HUG US?!” James demanded.

“Shhh,” Ed whispered quietly, “just let the good vibes flow through you...”

“THE GOOD VIBES FEEL LIKE PAIN AND SICKNESS!” James insisted.

Pinkie broke her hug and began gently patting James’s cheek.

‘Pap’

‘Pap’

“Shush, shush,” Pinkie whispered quietly, “just let the negativity flow out of you…”

“HURCK!” James grunted out a sickened sound has his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed into a heap on the floor.

“Oh no!” Pinkie cried. She leaned down and began to gently shake James. “Are you alright?”

James began to foam at the mouth in reply.

The remaining standing vampires looked at the scene in front of them in concern.

“Huddle up crew.” Steve commanded.

Ed and Sarah joined him in a three vampire huddle.

“Alright, apparently none of us can touch her without feeling ill…” Steve began.

“I can!” Ed said happily.

“Shut up, Ed.” Steve said as he quickly shot Ed a glare. “I’m going to get backup while you two keep her distracted.”

“What?! Why do I get stuck with the crazy woman and Ed?!” Sarah protested.

“Because…BECAUSE!” Steve insisted.

“Hey! What are we talking about?” Pinkie asked, somehow having added herself to the huddle in between Steve and Sarah.

“Mew?”

Steve and Sarah recoiled from Pinkie’s touch.

“Uh,” Sarah uttered, “we…were…erm”

Steve slowly backed away and mouthed ‘party’ to Sarah.

“We were just talking about how awesome our vamparty is going to be!” Sarah said, grinning nervously.

I can’t believe I just said that out loud…

Pinkie gasped loudly. “VAMPARTY?! Now you’re talking my language!” Pinkie leaned in close to Sarah. “My language is the language of party.” Pinkie explained quietly.

Sarah shuddered at the near contact. “Uhhh…I got that…”

“LET’S GET THIS ROCKING PARTY STARTED WITH A ROCK!” Pinkie declared as she pulled on one of the lamps.

‘THWOMP!’

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Pinkie, Sarah, and Ed all turned towards the loud noise and scream to see Steve flailing from under the large, spiked rock.

Sarah and Ed gawked, while Pinkie went for the other lever in a slight panic.

“I CAN FIX THIS!” Pinkie insisted.

‘Chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink’

Pinkie rushed over to the fallen Vampire.

“Are you okay? Anything broken?” Pinkie asked as she reached for Steve’s hands.

Steve grabbed Pinkie’s hands and immediately regretted it, as waves of discomfort and sickness washed over him.

Pinkie began to tremble and looked up. “Uh-oh…” She quickly took a few large steps beck.

‘THWOMP!’

“WHY?!” Steve cried out.

“Wasn’t me!” Pinkie insisted as she held up her hands.

Sarah and Ed began laughing as they stood near the lamp that caused the rock to fall.

Pinkie pouted. “Guys, that’s not funny! He could be really hurt.”

“It’s okay!” Sarah insisted. “He’s a vampire! This can’t kill him…”

‘Chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink’

“Oh…well…I guess that makes sense…” Pinkie said, glancing towards the rim of her hat briefly.

‘THWOMP!’

“ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU GUYS ARE WADS!”

Sarah and Ed merely laughed harder in response to the vampire’s pain.

Pinkie quickly zipped over and placed her hands over Sarah’s. “Now, I think that’s enough rocky fun…”

“Hulrk…” Sarah grunted as she puffed out her cheeks. “Uh, yeah…sure…” She responded retracting her hand.

“Oooo! I know what we can do that is fun!” Pinkie declared. She quickly set back up the wagon, Cratey, and Mr. Mumbles.

“Hit it, Mr. Mumbles!” Pinkie commanded.

“Merow!” Mr. Mumbles began to bat at the wall once again, causing the lights to flicker.

“VAMPARTY RAVE!” Pinkie declared as she rushed over to Sarah and grabbed her hands, pulling her out towards the center of the open tunnel.

“NO! Wait…” Sarah pleaded.

*soon*

‘THUMP’

Sarah collapsed to the ground in a heap.

“Whoops! Guess I partied a little hard there…” Pinkie mused, looking over the downed female vampire.

“Uh…she’ll be fine…” Ed said. “Probably,” he added. “Hey! I have an idea, why don’t I show you to the whole gang!” Ed said in an excited tone.

Pinkie gasped. “So we can have an even BIGGER vamparty!?”

Ed nodded. “Absolutely!” Ed reached out and grasped Pinkie’s hands as he walked her down the tunnel. “Let’s go!”

Pinkie quickly grabbed the wagon’s handle as she began walking with Ed. “Yay!” She exclaimed. “Now please let go of my hand.” She added.

Ed awkwardly let go of the hand he was holding. “Erm…sorry…”

**

‘Thopthopthop…’

Becky rapidly depressed the trigger on her pellet gun while spraying a jet of holy water out with her squirt gun.

Her opponent, ducked and weaved, covering her face as she approached Becky, still taking several silver pellets to the arms which began to smoke on contact with her skin.

‘Sshhwosh’ ‘Sshhwosh’

Dave took a couple of swings at his opponent who dodged to the side of each one. “Heh, you’re fast for a human, but not fast enough.”

‘Thunk!’

The vampire looked up at the shuriken now imbedded in his forehead.

“Hey! Nice aim, but you need silv…”

‘Shhhllllshh’

“GRAAAA!”

The vampire recoiled as Dave’s katana cut shallowly through his abdomen.

“You talk a lot for a guy in a fight.” Dave commented.

The female vampire got within striking distance of Becky. She swiped out her hand and easily batted the pellet gun away, then followed this up by grasping Becky’s shoulder hard. She pulled her free hand back in preparation to strike at Becky.

Becky quickly moved her squirt gun into position and shot one more stream of holy water.

“AHHHEEEEK!” The vampire shrieked as her hand began smoke, hitting holy water before she could thrust her fingers into Becky’s flesh. Instead she slammed clumsily into Becky, taking both girls to the ground.

Becky’s squirt gun clattered to the ground and slid on tunnel floor out of reach.

“Alright, girly man.” The male vampire uttered out with a smirk. “Time to show you just how fast a vampire can be.”

Dave paused as his target suddenly became a blur that escaped his field of vision.

The vampire suddenly appeared behind Dave, reaching out hands for the ninja’s neck.

“Got you”--‘Shhlllonthg!’—“Hughk…” The vampire grunted.

Dave sighed glancing behind him as he withdrew his katana from the Vampire’s chest. “Behind, dude? Seriously? Really creative there!” Dave said sarcastically.

Dave turned to face his opponent who dropped to his knees.

The female vampire’s eyes widened hungrily as she held Becky down with her weight. “Time to die!” She announced as she opened her fanged mouth wide.

Becky quickly dove her hand into her satchel, then pulled it out, positioning it in between her attacker as the vampire lunged forth.

‘Thhulorch!’

Becky grinned. “Big Mistake!”

The vampire looked down at the stake in her chest as Becky shimmed out from under.

“I hate you sooo much!” The vampire hissed.

“WAIT!” The remaining vampire pleaded as Dave raised his sword. “If you kill me, you two will never find a way out of here!”

Dave glanced at Becky and her opponent as the later sparked and turned to ash.

“I think we’ll manage.” He answered as he swung his sword neatly through the vampire’s neck.

‘Shhhlltheeenk’

Dave turned towards Becky as the vampire corpse behind him turned to ash. “Alright, I admit it, you are tougher than you look.”

Becky looked up at Dave with a shocked expression on her face.

“Uh…are you okay? Oh, geez…I guess this is your first time killing someone…” Dave said with a tone of concern in his voice.

“WE’RE REAL LIFE VAMPIRE HUNTERS, DUDE!” Becky said enthusiastically as she jumped to her feet.

Dave breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah, I guess we…” Dave was interrupted as Becky leapt at him without warning, wrapping her arms around him and pushing her lips against his.

Dave froze, still holding onto his katana in one hand, unsure of what, if anything, he should be doing.

Becky opened her eyes wide and retracted her lips and hands. “Uh…sorry…erm…just…just got caught up in the moment.” She explained.

Dave chuckled nervously. “Heh, right…it’s all good.” He replied.

The pair of vampire hunters sheepishly avoided eye contact.

“We should…” Becky said trailing off.

“…Find Pinkie?” Dave suggested.

Becky turned to face Dave. “Right! Totally! We should totally do that!”

Dave nodded. “Totally.” He agreed, sheathing his katana.

Dave and Becky began to continue their journey down the dimly lit tunnel in awkward silence.

“…”

“…”

“………”

“………”

“So uh…” Dave began breaking the silence.

“Ummm-hmmm!?” Becky replied a little too enthusiastically, looking up at Dave.

“Er…I was thinking…after we meet up with Dan and Pinkie and they get back their game system, maybe you and I can..?”

Becky began to grin. “Ummmmmm-hmmmmmmmm!?”

‘Click’

“Uh-oh…” Becky uttered as she looked down at her foot, and more importantly, the rock that had just clicked underneath it.

The ground opened up beneath Becky and Dave, and they fell into the darkness below.