The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 1

Chapter 5: Dan Vs. Forehead wound

Pinkie exited the bathroom. As she did, Chris and Dan sat up and made their way to the restaurant door.

Chris held the door open for both Dan, who passed wordlessly, and Pinkie who smiled and said, “Thank you very much, Chris,” with a smile on her way out.

The trio walked to the car and before Pinkie could reach for the handle, Dan grabbed her hand and silently held up a finger signifying she should wait as he gave her a stern look.

Pinkie stared at Dan’s finger as Chris got into the driver side and unlocked the car.

Dan let go of Pinkie’s hand and entered the passenger’s side before buckling up.

Pinkie opened her door and sat down; fumbled with her seatbelt for a moment before she managed to get it to ‘click’ again and gave herself an excited, “I DID IT!”

“Congratulations,” Dan mumbled as he rolled his eyes. “Soon you’ll move up to tying your shoelaces.”

“Did you say something, Danny?” Pinkie asked.

“No, and don’t call me ‘Danny’!” Dan growled back.

Chris started the car and backed out of the parking spot. After a glance to insure the road was clear, he exited the lot and they were on their way.

“So Pinkie,” Chris began, “where do you want to be dropped off.”

Pinkie’s pupils narrowed slightly and she went uncomfortably silent.

“I’ve known goldfish who pay better attention than you, Chris! She doesn’t have a place to be dropped off at! She just got here from another dimension!” Dan turned his palms upward and leaned closer to his friend. “How can you forget something we just talked about a few minutes ago?!”

Pinkie nodded vigorously from the backseat.

“Well, I can’t take her to my place,” Chris said.

“What?! Why not! Just make a spot for her on the couch! I do it all the time!” Dan countered with a tone of disbelief.

“Normally, that would be fine but Elise has taken some of her work home with her,” Chris said, his tone betraying his frustration at the situation.

“Ah, so the couch is currently occupied by a Chinese spy that Elise is interrogating?” Dan posed.

“No, she turned Cao over to her superiors last week. This is much worse.”

Pinkie leaned forward, interested in the conversation, “What’s a Chinese?” she asked.

Dan looked back at her, “Excuse you, the men are figuring out what to do with you!”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes, stuck her tongue out at Dan and leaned back in her seat.

Alright, Pinkie. Remember, you want to make friends with Dan!

Even if he’s not going to make it easy-peasy.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Dan said. “What’s worse than having to share a roof with a captured, hostile, international spy?”

“Elise is working on something involving plutonium. She won’t say what it is, but we’ve had to put a tent over the house and claim we’re fumigating. She says there’s not a great chance for a leak, but to be safe we’re both wearing hazmat suits around the house, and we only have the two.”

Dan sighed. “Typical,” he mumbled out.

Pinkie stared back and forth between Chris and Dan.

Uh…plutonium? Sounds fun…maybe? Geez, I wonder what else is here I don’t know about…

“Why do you think I so quickly agreed to help you?” Chris asked Dan.

“I’m sorry if I thought you were committed to my noble quest to improve the English language.”

“I thought you said you had an ‘agenda’ against it,” Pinkie reminded Dan.

Huh, she’s paying a lot more attention that I would have thought a ditzy air-head is capable of.

Alright, time to put Pink Girl back in her place.

“I’m on a quest to burn the English language and raise it back, not unlike the mythical phoenix.” He smiled, “A Phoenix is…”

“…A magical, fiery bird that sheds its fiery feathers and burns up, reducing itself to ashes, before igniting once again and emerging in its full, fiery might over and over again,” Pinkie said with a smug sense of satisfaction.

Dan closed his mouth and grimaced at her.

“We have those back where I’m from. Oh, and they’re not thaaaat mythical. There’s quite a few in the Everfree Forest,” she added.

Dan sat back in his chair, his attempt at putting Pinkie in her place having completely backfired. He examined the area the car was passing, “What? Chris! NO! Stop the car! She is not staying with me!”

“Well, where else is she going to stay?” Chris asked.

“I DON’T CARE! JUST NOT IN MY APARTMENT.”

Pinkie let out an audible whimper from the back.

“Hey! I have an idea! Why doesn’t she try to rent the place next to your apartment? Didn’t you say your neighbors just recently moved out leaving most their furniture behind?”

Dan thought back to a night of a pile of electric guitars, a drum-set, some amps, gasoline and a bonfire rising high into the nights sky as he stood from his second story walkway and laughed maniacally.

REVENGE IS MINE! I’ll NEVER have to hear that crappy band play again or have it disturb my sleep.

Ahh, memories…

HehehehehehMuaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..!

‘Tap, tap, tap…’

Dan looked out his car window to see Chris staring at him with look that said ‘seriously?’

Dan rolled down the window, “What?! How’d you get out of the car? Where is that girl?! Weren’t we just discussing how she wasn’t going to stay with me?”

“Dan, that was over 30 minutes ago. You started laughing and kept laughing all the way here. I would have stopped you, but Pinkie” –Chris broke eye contact with Dan and motioned as if he was introducing an invisible Pinkie Pie—“also started laughing. She didn’t even ask me what was so funny until we were both out of the car.”

Dan peered outside, “CHRIS! NO! She cannot move in next to me. End of story.”

“Yeah, I think you already lost this battle, she was going over the paperwork with the Landlord as I went to check up on you.”

“What?! She can’t move in tonight she doesn’t even have identification, or a social security number, or…”

“Your landlord said he was fine renting out to a ‘pony girl’ and said he ‘trusted her kind.’" Chris looked out into space. “He also called me a ‘bear guy’. Man, tonight has been weird...”

Dan let out a sound of rage and frustration. “Graaah! Could this night get ANY worse!?” he asked the heavens.

The heavens responded.

Pinkie Pie bounded to the car window. Enthusiastically holding up a set of keys. Chris moved out of the way as she rested her hands on the car door, stuck her head in the door and excitedly bobbed her body up and down as Dan absently followed her with his eyes

“Hey, Dan! Guess what, guesswhat, guesswhat!? We’re neighbors now! Oh, I know we’re going to be best friends FOREVER, and we’ll spend SO MUCH time together, and we’ll play together, and dance, and sing…” Pinkie’s feet slid out from under her on the wet concrete. She hit her forehead with a very audible thump on the open car window frame on her way down.

Dan actually changed his expression to concerned as he heard her face slowly slip down the rest of the car door before he heard it hit the ground.

‘Thump’

Within an instant, Pinkie was back up with an, “I’m oooooookaaaay!” She felt something warm and wet drip from her forehead, onto her nose, then down around her mouth. She felt her forehead and examined her hand to witness a hand full of blood, dirt, and gravel. “I’m NOT Okay…” she corrected and slumped forward against the car door.

Chris leaned down and looped his arms around Pinkie,s, backing her up so Dan could exit the car.

“Should we take her to the hospital?” Chris asked, his voice concerned as he held Pinkie up.

“So we can all spend hours in the emergency waiting room just so an actor in a lab coat can fondle her, give her a loli-pop and send her on her way?” Dan held one of Pinkie’s eyes open with one hand and moved a finger back in forth in front of it as Pinkie followed Dan’s finger with her pupil.

“Dan, that’s not how hospitals work,” Chris replied.

“That’s pretty much exactly how hospitals work,” Dan countered. “Here,” Dan went around to where Chris was standing, “switch places with me.”

Chris allowed Dan to take his place as Dan put his arms under Pinkie’s and crossed them across her stomach. “Great, now grab her legs, we’re going up.”

Chris pocketed Pinkie’s dropped keys, “Dan, we can’t just abandon her in her new apartment. What if she has a concussion?”

“Concussions are usually followed by much worse symptoms. Believe me, I’ve had a few,” Dan answered as he backed towards his apartment. “She just needs to get her head elevated, get this cleaned up and get some rest. Besides, money-face, we’re taking her to my apartment. I’m well stocked on first-aid supplies. You couldn’t imagine how often I’ve had to dress my own wounds.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I can.” Chris answered, rolling his eyes.

Pinkie moaned softly as the two carried her up the stairs.

“Wow, Dan. This is without a doubt the lightest person we’ve had to drag up or down your stairs.”

“Shut up,” Dan said as they reached his door. “Switch places with me.”

Chris obediently complied, gently lowering Pinkie’s feet as he waked around her and took Dan’s spot holding her up by her shoulders.

Dan unlocked and opened the door to Apartment ‘8’ and entered. He walked over to his yellowing couch and cleared it’s surface of some random junk, unceremoniously allowing it to drop to the floor. Dan sat down and grabbed a few frilly looking throw pillows from the other end of the couch.

Chris shook his head.

I can’t believe he still has all those pillows after he assaulted that Hollywood producer with them…and after they got taken when I gave away most his belongings…

Geez, Dan is determined…

Dan piled a couple pillows on his lap and motioned for Chris to come forward with Pinkie. Dan patted the pillows to signify Dan wanted Chris to lay her head on them.

Chris lifted and then gently lowered the pink haired girl onto Dan’s lap and his couch.

A mangy-looking, grey cat walked in, meowed and climbed on top of Pinkie.

Pinkie meekly moved her hand to stroke the cat, “Awww…nice kitty.”

Dan calmly dictated a few instructions to Chris while maintaining his typical, slightly irritated tone of voice and facial expression, “Go to my bathroom. In my medicine cabinet, you’ll find some dressing pads, gauze, and a couple clean rags. Grab those, check under my sink for a bottle of Everclear, and my freezer for a prepared icepack. Bring everything here, then open the cupboard above the stove, grab a can of the beef flavored canned cat food, and feed Mr. Mumbles.”

“Awww…what a cute name,” Pinkie murmured as she scratched under the cat’s chin who “mewed” in reply.

“And you,” Dan looked down at the girl whose head currently occupied his lap, “stop bleeding all over the place. You’re wrecking my nice throw pillows.”

“So…sorry, Dan,” Pinkie whimpered. “Tha…thanks for taking care of me…”

“Dan, you have about two dozen of those,” Chris called out from Dan’s bathroom.

“So?” Dan replied angrily. “Doesn’t mean I have enough that she can just bleed all over a couple!”

Chris sighed and continued grabbing supplies. He returned with the medical supplies Dan had asked for, setting them on Dan’s coffee table within his reach.

“Great, now go feed Mr. Mumbles. Beef flavor. Chicken liver was yesterday!”

Chris shot Dan an annoyed expression, but returned to the kitchen. At the sound of a cat food tin opening, Mr. Mumbles hopped off Pinkie and trotted into the kitchen.

“Awww…why’d you have to do that?” Pinkie said, already missing scratching Mr. Mumbles.

“So she doesn’t claw my face off, when you start screaming at ‘step 2’,” Dan answered, dousing a rag in Everclear.

Pinkie sniffed the strong smell of alcohol and her expression turned concerned, “What’s step…”

Without warning, Dan cupped one hand over her mouth and put the Everclear wetted rag over Pinkie’s forehead.

Pinkie's shrieks were muffled by Dan's hand as he cleaned her wound with the stinging alcohol. Chris shot back into the living room looking concerned.

Soon, Dan had finished and moved onto drying the wound with the clean cloth as Pinkie began to sob gently.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” Dan commented.

Pinkie tried her best to stop crying and held back her tears.

“Dan, was that really necessary?” Chris asked.

Dan said nothing while placing a couple dressing pads on Pinkies forehead, followed by the icepack, Pinkie gasped at the chilly ice-pack, but it did numb the pain a bit.

“Hold her head up so I can bandage these in place," Dan said.

Chris complied and Dan wrapped the gauze around Pinkie’s head a few times, holding the dressing pads, and icepack in place.

Finished, Dan motioned for Chris to let the girl’s head down.

“Thank you, Dan,” Pinkie managed to whisper.

“Well! It has been fun and weird, but it is getting very late and I must get some sleep,” Chris said in a chipper tone of voice.

“WHAT?! Chris you can’t just leave me here to take care of her all by myself!” Dan insisted.

“You seem to have the situation well in lap…I mean hand. OH!” Chris reached into his pocket and tossed a set of keys on Dan’s coffee table, or rather, the crate that served as Dan's coffee table.

Pinkie murmured an apology to Dan.

“Chris! Come back here!” Dan demanded.

“Sorry Dan! I have to get back, suit up, and get some shut-eye. I will stop by tomorrow to make sure she’s okay,” Chris stopped for a second, turned around and put a very serious expression on his face. “And she better be okay Dan. I mean it.”

“I PROMISE NOTHING!”

“No Dan, No. If you intentionally go out of your way to hurt even one hair on her head, that’s it. Our friendship is over and I’ll make sure you don’t get away with it this time,” Chris leaned into the door frame with one hand and pointed the other at Dan for dramatic effect.

Dan, reached down a grabbed a strand of Pinkie’s hair, Chris’s expression hardened.

Dan let go of the hair.

Wow, he’s actually serious about this.

Pinkie murmured another apology.

“FINE,” Dan growled angrily. “I promise I won’t intentionally physically hurt her or even arrange for physical harm to come to her.”

Chris’s expression softened, “That’s fair. Even spending time with you is mentally scaring.”

Pinkie giggled softly.

Dan gritted his teeth.

Great, now they’re tag teaming me…

Chris walked outside.

“I hope you die of radiation poisoning,” Dan called from the couch.

Chris’s face went pale, “I don’t.”

Chris shut the door and walked back to his car and prayed that Dan wouldn’t traumatize the poor girl too much.

Author's Notes:

Revised, Revised.