Author's Notes:

Holy mother of all revisions, did this chapter go through massive changes!

This is not intended to be a commentary on the position of vegetarianism vs an omnivore diet. I don’t think any of the characters in this story are really suitable mouthpieces for that sort of agenda, anyhow. I hope the treatment of this subject doesn't offend anyone. I just think the consuming of meat would be something Pinkie would run into and have to deal with sooner or later and Dan’s not exactly the sort of person you turn to for a balanced discussion of a potentially touchy subject.

Thanks for reading!

The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 1

Chapter 4: Pinkie Vs. Meat

Pinkie looked at her reflection in the large bathroom mirror and let out a sigh.

For her, being another species was easy enough to adjust to, but in addition to being a complete mess, she was collecting bruises at a fast pace with her constant tripping, stumbling, and falling. The worst one showed prominently on her forehead, courtesy of Dan teaching her a lesson on the importance of proper vehicle safety.

Pinkie grabbed a large length of paper towel from the dispenser and started toweling her wet hair and clothing.

Ugh, I shoudn’t have yelled at him like that…

Okay, so yes, he deserved to be yelled at with how he was talking to me, but that doesn’t mean I should have done it.

And besides, he seemed like he was trying to help… in a rather tough and unconventional way.

Also, he definitely saved me from death, there…

Pinkie cringed.

…or something really, really bad probably followed by death.

Alright, I totally need to say ‘I’m sorry’ to him when I see him next.

…

Now what in the heck are those bulgy things on the wall with the other, chrome bulge sticking out of THAT, and the button..?

…

Well, STARING at it certainly isn’t going to answer anything.

Pinkie walked over and pushed the button.

‘Fhhhhmmmmm…’

A loud noise emitted from the device. Pinkie instinctively jumped back and covered her face with her arms while keeping an eye on the device.

It doesn’t seem to be dangerous.

She tentatively reached out a hand and touched the metal bulge on the device, it was warm.

Oh, cool!..er…Hot, actually…

She smiled to herself as she waved her hand under the device and felt warm air blowing.

Looks like I can at least dry my hair.

“Hmmmm…” Pinkie carefully examined the contents of her bag. “Oooo! Ooooo!” She cried excitedly.

In addition to her wallet; she had a flat, pink, rectangular object with what appeared to be her cutie mark on the top. The item was roughly a foot and a half across, and another foot wide. She had a second, much smaller flat rectangular object in a pink flip case; a pink compact mirror; a small camera which she was particularly excited about; a couple of cords with metal parts protruding out of either end, and, she was in luck, a pink hair brush.

I wonder who would set me up with all this?

Hehehe…they even know my favorite color, pink! Pink everywhere!

Maybe my friends sent these...?

Oh, I hope they’re okay…

Well, those blue-black cloudy thingies were after me…

Pinkie took another look at the items in her bag.

Guess I’ll have to sort through all this neat looking stuff later, I bet Chris and Dan are waiting for me…

…And I reeeeaaaalllly don’t want to give Dan any more reasons to be mad at me.

Pinkie sat on the floor under the hand driers, positioned them so the air would blow directly on her and proceeded to brush her hair while using the mirror.

It wasn’t long before the pink-wet-matted mess was a pink-dry-curly mess.

She sat up and looked herself over in the mirror. “Perfect!” she said, despite the large bump on her head. She grabbed the camera, examined it carefully and tried a few buttons. Eventually, it turned on with a beep, a little music fan-fare and a screen on the back that showed what the camera was pointing at.

“Wow! Fancy and smancy!” She said to herself. She positioned herself in the mirror and snapped a photo. The camera made an electronic ‘click’ sound. She stared at the screen and much to her delight, it showed her exactly what she just took. She smiled, giddy with delight; packed everything but the camera and slung the bag over her shoulder; grabbed the camera and exited the restroom.

“Undercover cop,” Dan posed to his friend Chris.

Chris thought for a second. “That’s basically the same idea as your ‘spy hypothesis’ except she arrests you instead of kills you. Plus, she witnessed you set a man on fire. I doubt she’d be holding out for something else to haul you into jail on.”

Dan rested his chin and mouth on his hand and concentrated.

I will figure out what your angle is, pink girl! Oh yes, nothing escapes the watchful eyes of Dan!

Why does Chris have to be so good at shooting down my theories? The jerk. I really thought I had it pegged with robot…stupid girly body getting covered in bruises shooting that one down…Chris mentioned apparently no one liked watching me on reality T.V…Lousy mass of crappy show watching sheep wouldn’t know entertainment if it set fire to all their belongings.

URRRGH, I’m usually so GOOD at this!

“Say CHEEEEESEEEEEE~!”

Chris quickly looked up and put on his best photo face.

“I HATE CHEESE!" Dan screamed.

There was a ‘click’ followed by Pinkie examining the photo she just took.

She sat down next to Chris, and before either man could say anything she burst out with: “Okay, so I’m sorry I yelled at you, I’m just really, really, not used to any of this, and I know it can’t be easy for you to keep taking care of me, and I really appreciate it, and I’m really, really, really…”
--Dan positioned a ketchup packet on the table…--
“…glad you came along and saved me when I did. I don’t know what…”
--…took aim...--
“…I would have done without you, probably be lying in a filthy ditch right now if…”
--…positioned his fist over the ketchup packet...--
“it weren’t for you, so once again I’m really sorry I screamed at you and called you a jack-@$#, I actually really, really, REALLY, REALLY want to be your friend, and…”
--..Chris leaned over the table to grab Dan’s hand and waved a shame on you finger at him.
Dan sighed.--
“…did I mention how sorry I was?”

…Okay…that seemed a lot shorter when I practiced in the bathroom…

Dan waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it,” he said nonchalantly.

“Really?!” Pinkie said excitedly, leaning forward on the table.

“Yes…Really.”

“Dan, don’t you have something to say?” Chris said.

Dan glared at Chris.

Well…at least she apologized first.

“I’msorry”, Dan said, barely audible.

“Dan, you’ll have to be louder than that.”

“I said 'I’m sorry', OK!”

Pinkie smiled, extended her hand, remembered something, spit on into her palm and extended it again. “You’re forgiven.”

Dan glared at her hand at first, but soon his lips curled into a smile. He spat in his own palm, grabbed hers and gave it a shake. “Likewise,” he said. He quickly retracted his hand and gave it a wipe with some napkins on the table.

Pinkie followed suit.

The bored cashier from earlier came by and dropped a tray piled with food on the center of the table.

“Finally,” Dan snarled and hunted for his burger. Chris, likewise started grabbing items. Pinkie starred at the feast before her blankly.

Dan sighed, grabbed the empty cup from the tray and stood up. “Chris, why don’t you stop being such a fat, self-centered pig, and pick out the food you ordered for the lady,” Dan said before he continued his walk to the soda fountain.

Chris looked up, grinned sheepishly, and picked out the smaller order of fries, a milkshake, a small rectangular apple-pie and a wrapped burger that he placed in front of Pinkie. He also positioned the onion rings in convenient reach of the both of them.

Pinkie stared at the wrapped burger in front of her.

Alright, the fries I get, and we have plenty of milkshakes…but what the hay is that?

Her thoughts where interrupted as Dan returned with the cup and placed it in front of Pinkie.

“Drink,” Dan said simply.

“Dan, you didn’t get her anything with caffeine in it did you, because….”

“What kind of moron do you take me for? It’s ice water,” Dan informed.

Pinkie thirstily drank the water through the straw.

Oh wow, I’m thirsty! Like, really, really thirsty!”

She quickly got to the point where the straw was making an audible sucking sound.

‘Ssssssssssssgghghghsghgsghg’

“GIVE ME THAT!” Dan snatched the cup and got back up, refilled it and placed it back in front of Pinkie, who proceeded to drink it at a slower pace this time around.

Dan found his own burger out of the mix, unwrapped it and opened it up. With a satisfied expression, he emptied the contents of three ketchup packet onto it, put the top bun back on it and began eating.

Pinkie looked from Dan to Chris who were both eating their burgers. She unwrapped her own burger, examined it quizzically, brought it up to her mouth and took a large bite.

Pinkie’s eye’s widened and she let out an audible, “Hmmmmmmmmm…” of delight. She happily chewed and took a few more bites.

I’ve never had anything like this, before! It’s super-amazadelicious tasting!

She took off the top bun to examine the contents. It seemed to be some sort of sandwich with a hot, brown substance in the middle.

Huh, wonder what plant that’s from…

“What is this?” she asked Dan, pointing at the patty.

“Dead cow,” Dan said simply.

“Dead…cow?” Pinkie stated in disbelief as she began to tear up.

“Don’t tell me you’re a filthy vegetarian.”

Pinkie’s face continued to get sadder as more tears and snot started to leak out her nose. “Herb…herbivore,” she informed.

“They don’t have meat were you’re from?” Dan asked.

“N…no…”

Dan sighed.

What is it with this weirdo?

“If it makes you feel better, the cow was probably very well taken care of before it was brutally dismembered at the slaughterhouse,” Dan said.

Pinkie’s distress increased, she looked mere seconds away from completely losing it.

“What, are cows special where you come from…are you Indian?” Dan glanced at Chris. “Dot, not feather.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “I got it, thanks.”

“W…Well,” Pinkie sniffed hard, “I have a friend named Daisy Jo who always orders cookies to have with her…to have with her…” Pinkie imagined her dear friend being killed, ground up, cooked, and eaten, “sniiiiiiiffff…MIiIiIiLLLLK WOUAAAAAAA!” Pinkie buried her head in her arms as she sobbed into her shirt sleeves.

“Did she just said she knows a cow that orders cookies to have with her Milk?” Chris asked from behind his burger. The display not enough to deter his eating.

“Kinda perverse, ain’t it?” Dan responded.

“That’s not exactly the part that I was questioning,” Chris said.

Dan looked back at Pinkie, “Are you saying cows talk where you come from?”

Pinkie looked up, “Of….of course…”

“Right, I thought as much.”

“Dan, what are you getting at?” Chris said, looking across the table at his friend.

“Something you said earlier made me think…” he looked back at Pinkie, “Cows don’t talk here. They just ‘moo’, eat grass, produce milk, and are collected for convenient eating. Exactly as God and Nature intended.” Dan took another bite out of his burger, then slipped his slushy.

Pinkie frowned, looked down at her burger and pushed it away.

I don’t think I’m ready to sort this all out…

Dan passed her some napkins which she used to blow her nose and wipe the tears from her face.

“Is there meat in anything else?” Pinkie asked waving at the spread in front of her.

“Nope. Go nuts, kid,” Dan said.

Pinkie took a bite of her fries, her eyes went wide again and another, “Hmmmmmmm…” escaped her as she started alternatively eating fries, onions rings, and taking large sips from her shake.

“You are wasting a precious free resource here!” Dan cried.

Pinkie looked up at Dan with a confused expression.

Dan proceeded to open a number of ketchup packets then empty the contents all over her fries and the onion rings.

Pinkie blinked a few times, then tried a fry smothered with ketchup. Her smile grew wider as the pace of her eating accelerated. Only interrupted by a muffled “ThankyouDan” as she consumed fries, onion rings, and chocolate shake. It wasn’t long before Pinkie and Chris had consumed almost all their food, Chris having claimed what was left of Pinkie’s burger.

“Elch, watching pigs eat would be less disgusting,” Dan directed at the pair with a scowl, having finished his burger and slushy.

“Pigs don’t tend to talk where I’m from for some reason…” Pinkie said, considering the strangeness of that for a second.

“Fascinating,” Dan responded flatly.

“Soooo…” Chris began, “Were are you from, Pinkie?”

“Ponyfhille”, Pinkie said, munching on her apple pie.

Huh…it’s alright…I guess… I miss Applejack's baking…

Dan raised his eyebrows.

“Where’s that?” Chris chomped into his own pie. “Neferherdofit,” he said through a mouth full of pie.

“It’s a few hours train ride from Canterlot.”

Dan continued listening with the same expression.

Chris stopped chewing and just stared down at Pinkie.

“…OR maybe it’s a just a few hour walk from Canterlot…Come to think of it, it seems to be a different distance from Ponyville every time we travel to it…”

Chris slowly swallowed the contents in his mouth, unsure of how to respond.

“Erm…in…Equestria...?” Pinkie ventured.

Chris looked across the table at Dan, who had maintained the same expression.

Dan sighed, “You were right, Chris.”

“I was?”

“She’s not from this planet.”

“Dan, that’s not what…”

Pinkie went wide eyed and started to inhaled a large volume of air, before she could speak Dan put her finger to her mouth, silencing her.

“You’re from a planet where the primary sapient species are horses, which you are one of, of course. However, other animals are also sapient and have the ability to speak. You were transported here quite unexpectedly and we happened on you within just a very short time of your arrival.”

Dan moved his finger, and Pinkie continued her inhale, only to have Dan replace his finger back in front of her mouth.

“FURTHERMORE, you’ve had a friend go through very similar experiences who’ve you pestered endlessly to talk about what happened to her…or him.”

Dan moved his finger, Pinkie, whose face was starting to turn blue from holding her breath. She inhaled just a little bit more air, quickly exhaled as she began to look pale. She rolled her eyes back in her head, and dropped her head onto her arms on the table.

“Dan, I don’t think…”

“That was amazing…” Pinkie gasped out in a high pitched voice, “how did you know?”

Chris’s jaw dropped.

Dan put on his best Sherlock voice, “Elementary, my dear Pinkie. First there was all the locations that pointed to an equine based society. 'Ponyville', 'Canterlot', 'Equestria'. Second, it seems just about every other thing you encounter is foreign to you, especially if it requires hands to work. Third, you seem to be having a lot of trouble keeping your balance, thus showing you’re not used to walking on two legs. Fourth, there was the comment you made about being an herbivore.”

“Wow, Dan! You’re like the smartest person ever, EVER, EVER!”

Dan smirked to himself, “Yeah, I know. The only thing that threw me off is you seemed to adjust a little too fast. Leading me to believe you know someone who’s given you some idea what it’s like to be in a human world.”

“Right again, Dan!”

Dan’s smile grew wider.

Chris stared at Dan, then back at Pinkie.

Well, she seems to agree with Dan, but this is really far-fetched, even for the sort of stuff that happens to us!

Pinkie suddenly became uncomfortably aware of how much water she had drunk.

“Uh…would you two excuse me?” Pinkie dashed for the restroom, slipping, but regaining her footing before hitting the floor. She quickly entered the women’s restroom.

“Alien horse girl? Really?” Chris asked skeptically.

“Technically, she’d be from another dimension,” Dan said. “So, ‘slider’ would probably be the best term, here. Anyhow, you’re the one who suggested she was from another planetoid.”

“No, Dan. I thought she was from Europe.”

“That’s ridiculous! She doesn’t even have a European accent of any sort.”

“I…” Chris trailed off, Dan actually had a point. “Okay, but that doesn’t mean she’s a ‘slider’.” Chris air-quoted 'slider', to highlight his skepticism.

“Reeaaaally?” Dan said with a look of smug satisfaction. “Alright then, smart guy, were do you think she’s from?”

“Uhhh…”

Okay, well we did go through a collection of theories, even entertaining the more implausible ones.

But this is really far-fetched.

Though, it does explain much of Pinkie’s behavior…

“Besides,” Dan added, “am I ever wrong about these sort of things?”

Chris looked up, then thought about this some more.

Well…Dan’s often wrong. But not usually when it comes to the off-the-wall, crackpot theories. Heck, he even figured out Wolfman from some scratches and some odd sets of footprints.

Still…girl from a horse dimension? I don’t know…

Pinkie washed her hands in the sink; it had taken her a bit to figure out the soap dispenser. Thankfully, the bathrooms here were similar to the ones back home and despite not wearing clothing very often, she at least had some experience with most of what she was wearing aside from a couple of new articles she had mostly figured out already.

Pinkie stared down at her chest.

Ulgh, I hate whatever this tight thing around my chest is…

I guess it must be to hold this strange chest lumps in place.

She dried her hands using the hand drier.

Oh, I still hope everyone back home is safe.

At least Dan has some things figured out…

Besides, Twilight knows everything about magic. There’s no way she won’t be able to figure SOMETHING out!

Pinkie took a quick glance at herself in the mirror and beamed at her reflection.

Things are looking up!