Chris’s brain came to a complete halt as he stared at the woman with the eyepatch and tattered gray bodysuit standing in his doorway. It’s not that this was exceptionally weird for him, in fact, this didn’t even crack the top 10 or maybe even 50. Still, in a perfect world, such things would no longer phase him, or better yet, not happen at all. However, he seemed quite doomed to deal with such random events. Sure, strangers showing up at his doorstep wasn’t unheard of. The odd solicitor would show up to the house; he lived in suburbia after all. Though, usually said solicitors were children, wore uniforms, and had coupon books to sell, or better yet, cookies or candy. This woman seemed to have none of those things, knew him by name, and was also dressed quite strangely by pretty much any metric.

The tell-tale signs that Chris’s quiet night of bingo was going to have a distinct lack of both quiet and bingo.

In addition to the guest being quite unexpected, there was also something eerily familiar about her. In addition to electing a strange sense of déjà vu, the woman also looked familiar. Not so much that he had seen her before, though he wouldn’t have argued with anyone that told him that he had, more that she resembles someone or someones, though Chris couldn’t quite put his finger on whom.

“Hi… uh…”

“Last Laugh,” the woman said as she extended a hand.

Chris raised an eyebrow and took the hand and shook it, noticing that Last Laugh seemed to have a fairly strong grip. “Last Laugh? Are you a friend of Pinkie’s?”

Last Laugh pursed her lips slightly. “That is a complex question with a classified answer.”

Chris’s forehead creased. “You’re not here to kill Elise, are you?”

“What?!” Last Laugh shook her head vehemently. “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! I need your help to save Elise.”

Chris’s eyes shot wide open. “Elise is in trouble?!”

Last Laugh frowned. “Yeah… Wow… This isn’t happening at all how I planned… Let’s start over.”

“Uh…”

Last Laugh leaned into the house, grabbed the knob to the door, and shut it on herself.

Chris merely stood there in confusion.

‘Knock!’

Frowning, Chris waited for a few seconds then opened the door.

“Chris? Chris Pearson? I need your help.”

Chris couldn’t help but frown slightly. “Okay, so you need my help to save Elise.”

“What?!” Last Laugh replied, her eyebrow lowering slightly. “How could you possibly know that!?”

“You just—”

“Uggghhhhh! You’re ruining it!” Last Laugh exclaimed, her voice raising an octave. “Let’s try again!” Last Laugh once again reached for the door and shut it, this time with more force.

‘Knock!’

Chris sighed and opened the door to see Last Laugh glaring at him from the other side.

“You’re supposed to wait a few seconds before opening! What’s the point of having a secret knock if you’re just going to open the door like that!?”

“How do you know about Pinkie’s secret knock, anyhow?!”

Last Laugh let out a frustrated growl. “Do over!” she cried as she grabbed the doorknob.

This time Chris reached over and stopped the door from shutting. “Maybe if you tell me who you are, that’ll help,” Chris said with a grunt as he struggled with Last Laugh to keep the door open.

“Oh… uh… Last Laugh,” Last Laugh said as she extended a hand.

Chris scowled at the woman. “We did this part already.”

“No we didn’t!” Last Laugh insisted. “We started over! Or at least I tried to, but you wrecked it. You wrecked it twice!”

Chris raised a palm to his face. “Could you just tell me what happened to Elise and how you know her?”

“Welll… Okay! Elise got possessed by a Kandarian Demon and I know her from work… Those two things are totally unrelated, be the way!” Last Laugh said with a rather unconvincing smile.

Chris’s eyes shot open. “Elise is possessed?!” His phone was out in an instant. “I better call Dan, he can—”

Last Laugh swatted at the hand holding Chris’s phone. “No!” she said forcefully.

Chris looked at Last Laugh in confusion. “No?”

Last Laugh shook her head. “No!” she repeated. “Dan is the last person we want to know about this.”

Chris frowned. “But Dan’s dealt with a demon before.” He began a list on his fingers, “And also vampires, skeletons… werewolves on multiple occasions.”

“I know all that, but I also know an expert!” Last Laugh said in an excited tone. “Maybe I can come in and call him.”

Chris stepped away from the open doorway. “Well alright. I guess that’s a start.”

“Great!” Last Laugh exclaimed. With that, she leaned forward into the doorway, grabbed the doorknob, and closed the door.

‘Knock!’

Chris let out a groan.

‘Buzzzzzz! Buzzzzzz!’

A feminine hand with light skin kissed by the sun shakily reached out for a rectangular smartphone vibrating on a dark woodgrain nightstand as beams of sunlight peeked in through closed and drawn blinds. After some drowsy mumbling and groping about, the hand wrapped itself around the phone and pulled it towards a freckled woman with long, blond hair. Emerald eyes half-opened blearily to look at the phone and closed immediately as they were hit with the glare from its rectangular screen and the unwelcome intrusion of sunlight into the room. The woman poked at the center and brought the phone up to her ear.

“Hello?” she said in a tired voice.

An all too chipper voice answered her.

The woman yawned. “Yeah… He’s here…” The woman rolled over slightly and not-so-gently elbowed something under an orange blanket lying in bed next to her. “Hey! It’s for you!”

An arm that ended in a metal socket reached out. The woman attempted to place the phone into it and heard a ‘clank’. Her eyes opened in tired frustration. “That’s yer stump hand, you idgit!”

Another arm came out, this one ending in the standard five-digit meat hook of a man. The woman thrust the phone into it as fingers wrapped around it. Her unexpected and unwelcome job done, the woman rolled over and pulled the orange blanket she was under around her tightly with a yawn. “Don’t know what that’s about, but if it’s a girlfriend of yers, Ah’m not above having her killed and killin’ you myself,” she threatened sleepily.

On the other end of the call, Last Laugh held the phone to her ear and paced about Chris and Elise’s living room. “Gee, no!” she answered. “My names ‘Last Laugh’!” Last Laugh narrowed her eyes. “It’s a code name, alright? Look, we have a situation that you’re uniquely qualified to handle.” Last Laugh nodded. “Yep! You got it! People being possessed, the dead rising to take their vengeance on the living, the whole shebang!” Last Laugh paused and listened for a bit. “Sure, that sounds reasonable.”

Chris watched as Last Laugh pulled the phone away from her ear and gave it a little half smirk as the sound of someone jubilantly cheering could be heard on the other end. This was followed by an audible ‘smack!’ and a masculine, “What the hell, baby?!”

Last Laugh brought the phone back up to her ear. “So, that’s a ‘yes’ then?” Last Laugh nodded. “Alright! I’ll text you the address! See you soon!” She smiled at Chris as she lowered the phone and began dragging her finger over the screen. “Okay, that’s one down, but I think we can use a few more people to round out this awesome team of possessed people putter downers!”

Chris frowned heavily. “I thought you needed my help to save Elise not—” Chris cringed “—put her out of her misery.”

“Well yeah,” Last Laugh said as she lowered the phone and looked up at Chris, “but I had some good alliteration going! So! Who do you think we should call next? D.H.? Not sure if she’ll be super helpful, but maybe we can ask her to bring her husband.” Last Laugh smiled widely. “He deals with crazy stuff like this all the time! Literally! Ooo! Ooo! I bet Ninja Dave would be great help!” Last Laugh giggled mirthfully to herself. “Maybe he’d even have a little showdown with Elise.”

Chris raised an index finger. “Uh…”

“Hahaha… I know, I know… Don’t worry. We’ll make sure to get Elise back to herself…” Last Laugh tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Gibson, maybe? I guess another gun wouldn’t hurt…” She stroked her chin. “Hrrmmm… He’d probably be demon bait, though…”

“Dan,” Chris said simply.

Last Laugh narrowed her eye. “I already said, ‘no’!” Last Laugh crossed her arms in front of her chest then threw them to her sides. “Under no circumstances do we want Dan to find out about this!”

“Erm, Okay but…”

With a few wide strides, Last Laugh closed the distance between her and Chris, her right index finger practically wielding like a weapon as she pointed it up and under his chin. “Look! You have no idea what the consequences will be if Dan gets involved. There is no way that Dan can ever, ever know about this, alright?!”

Chris’s eyelids lowered ever so slightly and he simply nodded his head towards something behind Last Laugh.

Last Laugh’s lips tightened and her eye widened. “… You weren’t trying to suggest Dan join us, were you?”

“No,” Chris affirmed.

“Dan is standing right behind me, isn’t he?”

Chris nodded. “Yes.”

Last Laugh sighed and smacked herself in the forehead a few times. “Should have secured all the entrances...”

“Yeah, Elise has tried that,” Chris said. He shook his head. “Never works for some reason.”

“Ahem!” Dan said loudly.

Last Laugh took a deep breath and clenched fist to her chest as she began murmuring to herself, "Alright Ellie, you can do this.” Putting on a slightly askew toothy smile, Last Laugh turned. “Hieeeee!”

Dan stared at Last Laugh angrily, his knuckles turned white as he clenched them hard. Pinkie stood next to Dan, staring at Last Laugh with the expression of a deer caught between a set of headlights.

Last Laugh walked up to the couple. “I’m agent Last Laugh.” She extended a hand. “I work with your friend Elise.”

Dan extended a hand…

…directly into Last Laugh’s eye.

‘POW!’

Pinkie let out an audible gasp as she raised her hands up to her mouth.

“GHA!” Last Laugh exclaimed as she reeled back and brought both hands up to her eye. “Why?! Why right in the eye?!”

“No!” Dan said forcefully as he retracted his fist.

Rubbing her palm over the top of her eyelid, Last Laugh looked at Dan in confusion. “No?”

Dan shook his head. “No!” he repeated. “You are not running off to fight a possessed Elise without us!”

Last Laugh slowly removed her hand from her eye then turned towards Pinkie.

Pinkie wordlessly nodded her head.

“Fine…” Last Laugh sighed out.

“Also, your name is ‘Last Laugh’!?” Dan cried angrily as he turned and scowled at Pinkie.

Pinkie let out a small, nervous giggle and shrugged.

“That’s just my code name!” Last Laugh said. “My real name is—”

“You shut your mouth right now!” Dan roared. “The adults will figure that out for you…”

Last Laugh immediately stood at straight up at full attention. “Yes, sir!”

Dan continued, “And I’m not calling you ‘Last Laugh or even L.L.” Dan shook his head. “That’s too much of a mouthful to yell at you when you inevitably tick me off again.”

Last Laugh let out a sad whimper as Pinkie flashed her a sympathetic look.

Dan turned towards Pinkie. “So… Lain?"

Pinkie blinked at Dan a few times. “Lain…? Like… like the girl from that crazy, surreal anime Becky had us watch?!”

Dan nodded. “Sure! Sounds like a pretty enough name.”

“Dan, no!” Pinkie said. “You can’t just give her a name out of some psychotic, super-duper confusing anime! That sounds insane even by my standards. Mine!”

“Well, what do you want to call her?!”

Pinkie smiled. “How about Ellie?”

Last Laugh spoke up, “That’s actually my—”

Dan turned and kicked Last Laugh directly in the shin.

“OWIE! WHY!?” Last Laugh cried as she brought her knee up and wrapped her arms around it

“I TOLD YOU TO ‘ZIP IT’!”

“Alright, alright!” Last Laugh replied.

“Wait,” Chris said. “Are you two going to name her? You can’t just—”

“I’ve got plenty of punches and kicks to go around, Chris!” Dan bellowed.

Chris sighed. “Alright, shutting up…”

Dan turned towards Pinkie who looked at Last Laugh as she rubbed her shin, then turned to glower at Dan. “Alright, for that, we’re going to stick with ‘Ellie’.”

“But it’s so close to ‘Elise!’” Dan whined.

Pinkie smiled. “I know! If Chris gets stabbed trying to bring Elise back with the power of true love, maybe we can bring her back with the power of friendship! And Friendship is M—”

“If you say the ‘m’ word, I’m going to make it so your eyes match hers!” Dan threatened as he pointed behind himself with a thumb at Last Laugh.

“… What’s this about me being stabbed now?” Chris asked.

“Alright, I won’t say the ‘m’ word,” Pinkie replied. “But I’m not budging on the name!”

Dan let out a loud, continuous groan as he threw his head back and rolled it around before facing Pinkie again. “Fine!” he said through gritted teeth. “But I’m calling her ‘Elle’ for short.”

“Yay!” Pinkie exclaimed as she celebrated with a few claps.

Elle giggled. “Saw that coming a mile away and I only have one eye.”

Dan turned to fire off emerald eyes full of frustration and anger in Elle’s direction.

“Eep!” Elle exclaimed as she bent down, covering her eye with one hand and doing her best to protect her shins with the other.

Dan grumbled something incoherent and walked past Elle to a dark blue loveseat, throwing himself on top of it and throwing his head back with a grunt.

“Well,” Chris said as he clasped his hands together with a ‘clap!’ “Now that that’s settled, who do we call next? D.H.? Gibson?”

Dan’s head snapped up and he scowled at Chris. “We can’t call D.H. She’s working!” he snarled. “Gibson, too… Everyone’s working Chris! You should know that!”

“But…but… Elise!”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I can’t just let people off work every time someone we know gets possessed or needs help. The Bakery would be understaffed or closed about half the time!” Dan frowned. “Eeesh… Can’t believe I just said that… I think I’ve become infected with responsibility.”

Pinkie nodded. “You are a productive member of society now… sorta.”

“I know, right?” Dan said. “Tragic.”

“How about Ninja Dave,” Elle suggested. “He doesn’t work for the bakery.”

“True,” Dan said, “but he is working.”

“Hey!” Chris protested. “That’s never stopped you from pulling me into one of your schemes!”

Dan got back to his feet and leveled an index finger at Chris. “Yeah, but you’re the Chris. You have no rights unless I say otherwise!”

“Hey!” Chris protested.

“Besides!” Dan continued. “Where am I going to get delicious cookies if Ninja Dave has to close shop because he’s always helping us?”

“Pinkie can make you cookies,” Chris pointed out.

Pinkie put her palms up in front of her. “Whoa! Don’t use me as a bargaining chip against Dan! That’s not nice!”

Dan nodded. “Totally uncool Chris!” Dan narrowed his eyes. “Do you want me to take lunch breaks away from you?!”

“Dan, you can’t do that,” Chris insisted. “That’s illegal.”

Dan raised an eyebrow. “Are you honestly trying to threaten me with the law?”

Chris paused thoughtfully then hung his head and sighed. “Alright, no Ninja Dave, but what are we going to do then?!” Chris exclaimed.

“Oh, calm down, bacon breath,” Dan shot back.

“My breath doesn’t…” Chris breathed into his palm and then sniffed it. “Okay, it does, but that’s beside the point.”

Dan glanced around the room. “I’m sure we have everyone we need for dealing with a little demon possession.”

Elle spoke up, “Erm… There’s actually a lot of demons possessing people… people with guns.”

Dan shrugged. “Okay… So I’ll make liberal use of my new superpowers and whip up a big batch of holy water!”

“Ooo! Ooo!” Pinkie said excitedly. “And we can find where they store all the water for the building then you can make all that holy water and we can set off the sprinklers like in that movie where Neo fights demons!”

“Sprinklers don’t work that way!” Dan snarled.

“… They don’t?” Pinkie, Chris, and Last Laugh asked simultaneously.

Dan growled in irritation as he dug his nails into his own scalp. “No! They don’t! Look, I don’t care if there’s a thousand possessed people all armed with assault rifles!”

Elle shrugged. “Well… It’s more like a couple hundred…”

“Whatever!” Dan snapped. “We’ve got everyone we need right here in this living room! Anyone else would just be superfluous.”

‘Knock, knock, knock’, came the sound from the door.

Dan narrowed his eyes at the door then glared at Chris. “What did you do?”

“Not me.” He pointed at Elle. “She made the call.”

Elle scowled at Chris. “Snitch!”

Dan repositioned his scowl at Elle and tapped his foot impatiently. “Well, young lady? Explain yourself.”

“I, erm, hired an expert!” she said with a nervous grin.

“I AM AN EXPERT!” Dan roared.

Elle flinched slightly. “Okay… a specialist then. Someone who's dealt with the specific type of demon we’re dealing with.”

Dan expressed his announce in a drawn-out growl that eventually ended with him throwing his hands up in the air. “Fine! So long as they’re quiet and stay the heck out of my way!”

‘Knock, knock, knock!’

“I better get that…” Chris said as he walked over towards the door and opened it.

A man with a wide face, large chin, brown eyes and neatly cropped dark hair stood in the doorway. He wore a buttoned up blue shirt crossed with two leather straps, and brown trousers held up by a brown belt, though his clothing was a bit difficult to focus on with the butt of a gun sticking out from behind him and the red chainsaw in place of his hand.

Chris immediately stepped away from the door as the man looked over the group in the living room. “Hello, did someone here call for an exterminator of the undead?” The man said, smiling knowingly at the end of his question.

“Yep!” Elle said as she raised a hand high. “That was me.”

Dan let out a groan and raised his hand to his face, covering his eyes.

The man took several confident steps into the home. “Okay people, you’ve got an deadite infestation, but your salvation has arrived. Forget what you think you know about the world, because things are about to get bat shit weird. But all I need is some shotgun shells, a six pack, cash for expenses and my services, and I’ll help pull your sorry asses out of the fiery pits of Hell, literally if necessary. Don’t worry, yours truly has this situation well—“ the newcomer raised his chainsaw hand “—in chainsaw.”

Dan lowered his hand as his expression went from ‘very angry’ to ‘seething, blinding rage’ so fast those around him were sure his muscles made an audible ‘click’. His mind reeling with all the things going on and around him to be angry with, it finally settled on one thing.

Dan threw his arms up towards the sky and roared at the heavens.