"Mmmmm... Man... that stuff just knocked me out..." I mumbled as I entered the dream realm. I was in a school bus driving backwards on the bottom of a cloud. Upside down.

"Yeah, it got me too." Steven was in the seat at the back of the bus.

"Well duh! You go out when I do!" Steven laughed.

"Not quite. Remeber that snowman fight? When you got majorly owned, I stepped in and killed it for you."

"... You can control my body?"

"Fuck yeah! Only when you can't though."

"... Note to self, no more going unconcious... Well... I guess I should thank you for that..."

"Fuck yeah you should thank me! I saved your ass bitch!"

"Well... if you're gonna be like that then nevermind. So if that potion could knock us both out..."

"Yeah, it was pretty heavy-duty. Ha! I said duty."

"Wow, what are you, 4? I was gonna say that is Sweetiebelle needed something that strong her insommnia must be really bad..."

"Wow, you just got drugged by one of your 'friends' and you're worried about another one's insommnia? Pitiful man. Just pitiful."

"Hey, at least I've got friends! Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt your feelings..."

"... Dude, grow a pair. Also, get a better insult book. I don't care about not having friends! All I need is myself!"

"You need me."

"What?"

"Yeah, if anything happens to me you'd be SOL."

"... Dammit. Hey, are we waking up already?" A huge light was bearing down on us.

"Well, it may feel like already, but in dreams time is distorted, so it could be like... night there."

"Huh, I guess I see your point. By the way... Ask Rarity what she did to you while you were out."

"What?" Then the light enveloped us and I was thrown into the waking world.

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"Ughhh... Whoa..." I woke up, feeling crazy groggy. I looked around. I was still on Rarity's bed, but Rarity was nowhere in sight. "Sweet, escape time..." I tried to stand up, but I couldn't move my arms. I looked down at myself, and my upper body was tied to the bed with a red ribbon. Literally, the ribbon wrapped all the way around the bed and my body, tying me firmly to the matress. I laughed. "Oh how cute, she thinks she can keep me here with ribbon." I wiggled my arms around a bit until one of my shark blades cut the ribbon around my hand. I slowly worked my arms free then sliced my way out of the binding. "Much better." I stood up again, no wave of diziness hitting me this time. I must have gotten enough rest to make up for the thundraga abuse. I walked out of Rarity's bedroom.

"Gah! What are you doing awake Sharky?!" Sweetiebelle was near the stairs leading down.

"Is Cheerilee still sick? Poor girl. What's wrong with me being awake?"

"Well... it's just... Rarity said she gave you my sleeping potion..."

"Yes..."

"That stuff is supposed to keep you asleep for 8 hours! Shadow said something about it being a healthy sleep amount..."

"How long have I been out?"

"Only 4! Rarity left to go get some stuff to help you rest 'cause she thought you'd still be asleep!"

"Well then it's my lucky day isn't it? I'm running while I can. Tell your sister that I'm fine now ok?"

"You're just gonna leave your special somepony?" I sighed and crouched down. I placed a hand on Sweetiebelle's shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"Look, Rarity is not my special somepony. She is one of my best friends, but she doesn't think of me like that. We're just friends. I'm sorry. Look at me, I'm not even a pony! It just... it can't happen ok?"

"... But you're always hugging her and stuff!"

"Because she's my friend. I hug all my friends. Even my guy friends when it's necessary."

"Are you sure? I saw you two laying on each other this morning..."

"That's because she rolled over in her sleep and we woke up like that. It didn't mean anything."

"... Well... I'm not sure... but if you say so... are you sure you don't want her to be your special somepony?" I stood up and started walking down the stairs.

"I don't recall saying that." I walked down the stairs and left the building without saying another word.

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*SMACK*

"Oh, hi RD. You know, smacking into me is bad for you now." I had been walking back to the library when RD had divebombed into my chest. I caught her as she fell away from me and cradled her in my left arm. "What's up?" She was holding something in her mouth and I grabbed it with my free hand.

"Read that. Then you tell me what's up!" She sounded remotely angry. I frowned and placed her on the ground by my side. Then I looked at the paper she had given me. It was a newspaper. This time I looked at the name of the paper company.

"Huh... Equestria Daily... No comments about that... You know, I always wonder how daily newspapers find enough stories... anyway, front-page article..." I read the bold print on the front page. Damn, about me again. "Cool as ice, hotter than flame. Ok, what's this about... News about Equestria's new hero is the hottest thing out there right now! This hero is cool as can be, but could a certain mare be heating his life up? Our hero, shortly after slaying a gigantic snow abomination, admitted to dating a white unicorn by the name of Rarity! Then, after saving a kidnapped filly, he was seen returning to his new mare friend and taking her out, presumably for a romantic evening!" I pulled the paper away from my face and threw it into the air. I pointed at it as it fell. "Thundraga!" A lightning bolt lanced through the paper, sending it up in a small plume of fire and smoke.

"Whoa! Why'd you do that?! I'm supposed to be the mad one!" RD exclamined.

"Gahhh!!! Why?! Why would this happen! I was just trying to take Rarity to get her mane fixed! I told them she was my marefriend for one second so they would leave me alone! I had to go save a filly! I didn't want this to happen! Rarity's gonna kill me! Oh, and I love how the demon snowman and the filly each get less than a line of text!"

"... So... you aren't dating Rarity?"

"No... Wait, why would you have been mad? Oh god, this'll be good."

"... I... was mad because I never got mentioned even though I got accepted into the Wonderbolts?"

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry they never gave you the attention you deserve. Oh my god he still bought it! Ha!" RD frowned at me.

"Steven gets it?" I frowned at her.

"What did Steven say? Man, I told you guys not to talk to him! Yeah, of course I get it! This guy... he's a real dumbass huh?" RD narrowed her eyes at me.

"Don't you dare talk about him like that!"

"What? What did I do?"

"Oh.. uh sorry Sharky. Nothing... So, when are we gonna get to hang out again?" I thought for a moment.

"Well, I wanna spend some time with Unity... I really feel like I haven't been much of a dad..."

"Oh, what if I bring Scoots and we have a little play-date kinda thing!"

"Sounds great! Where is she anyway?"

"Shes still asleep. I let her sleep in really late when there's no school."

"You just instantly became one of the coolest moms I know." She grinned sheepishly.

"Really? Aww..."

"Eeyup, now, come to the library when she wakes up for that play-date. I... might still be there."

"Sure thing Sharky! See you soon!"

"Yeah, see you soon buddy." RD's ears drooped.

"... Bye." She flapped her wings and took off. I kept walking to the library. I made it and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" Spike shouted from inside. I pushed the door open and walked in. Spike was re-arranging some books on the shelves, but when he saw me his jaw dropped and he ran over to me. He started pushing on my leg.

"What are you doing?"

"Run! Run now man! Before--" The door slammed behind me. "Oh no..."

"Oh... hello Sharky..." Twilight was at the top of the steps leading to the bedroom.

"Hi Twilight! How ar--"

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be out there? With your new marefriend?" She practically spat out the word 'marefriend'.

"Oh geez, you read that paper too? GAH! I officially hate the paparazzi! Is he not sensing the danger here? I feel it. I feel very threatened right now. Look, I'm not dating Rarity!" Twilight gave me a confused look.

"... You... you aren't?"

"No! I just told this huge mob that so they would leave me alone! I was trying to save a filly's life! Ugh.. when Rarity finds this out... she's gonna kill me... I'm not even a pony! I don't see why the news crews even think it's possible for her to like me! So, is he in flat-out denial, or does he really believe this? Maybe he's trolling us... nah, I got his trolling. Nevermind."

"You... you're serious right now? Is Pinkie Pie going to jump out of somewhere and tell me how good you guys pranked me?" Twilight started looking around wildly.

"Uhh... no. I haven't even seen Pinkie in a while... Why?"

"You're sure? You really don't understand?"

"Noooo... why, should I? Am I missing something? Nope, he really believes it. Damn."

"Sharky... Ugh.. my head is pounding from the pure exposure to obliviousness... I need to go lay down..."

"Uhh... ok. Goodnight Twi!"

"... Sharky... Yes, goodnight. Do you want to read later?"

"I'd love too! As soon as I'm free. I've got a play-date with RD and Scoots here soon, then I've got to take Rarity to a dinner I promised her tonight... as soon as Luna sends me my pay... So how about right inbetween those two things?" Twilight nodded.

"Sounds good. I'm going to go lay down now. Unity is down for an afternoon nap. He should wake up soon though."

"Fantastic! Thanks for taking such good care of him Twi!"

"It's no trouble Sharky."

"Oh no, it really means a lot to me. Without you... I'd be hopelessly lost with Unity. I feel like a horrible dad..." Twilight totted down the steps to me.

"Come now! You're a great dad! You just have to work a lot..."

"I know I have work... but that shouldn't be an excuse! I need to make time for him! I need to make time for you guys too! I feel like I'm slowly losing my friends the more time I spend away from them..."

"Now that's ridiculous! All your friends care about you very much! I'm sure they don't mind you being busy!"

"Well I know you do. You complain about it all the time."

"No! I complain about you being busy hunting monsters! I wouldn't mind... as much... if it were a regular job!"

"Well, all the same, I'm too busy all the time and I need to focus on spending more time with you guys."

"Sharky, you don't need to try even harder! You already work like crazy to spend time with everypony and do your job and take care of Unity! You're going to burn yourself out!"

*BLEEECH* Spike burped loudly.

"Well, excuse you Spike!" Twilight chided. "Where were we?"

"Me burning myself out. Are you sure? I really do feel like I've been neglecting everypony."

"Nonsense! I'm sure everypony here knows just how much you care about them!"

"Ok... If you say so... Well, you get that sleep ok? I'm just going to wait for RD and Scootaloo."

"Ok Sharky. Wake me up when the play-date is over ok?"

"Sure."

"Hey, Twilight... I hate to interrupt, but Shining Armor just responded to your letter!" Twilight turned away from me and trotted over to Spike.

"Oooh! He finally responded! Give me the letter please Spike!" Spike handed Twilight the parchment he had burped up.

"Who's Shining Armor? Sounds like a fag."

"He's my BBBFF!" I blinked a few times in confusion. Twilight sighed.

"Big brother best friend forever." She explained.

"Ohhh... I didn't know you had a brother!"

"Not many ponies do... I haven't really found a proper time to tell my friends yet either."

"They don't know you have a brother?"

"Not yet, I just haven't mentioned him I suppose..."

"Ah, I understand. What's the letter about?"

"I was just telling him about what it's like in Ponyville! I send him a letter about what goes on here every once in a while... I told him all about you in my last letter!"

"Oh, that's cool! What does it say?"

"It says he's really interested in meeting you! He says he's in Canterlot for the next few days, and he'd like us to visit him!"

"Oh! That sounds great! Yeah, great. Does this Shining Armor fellow know you like this guy?" Twilight blushed for some reason.

"Well... I might have mentioned it..."

"Might have mentioned what? Ah crap, he's gonna give us the 'big brother' act..."

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Little time setting here... This takes place in the winter before the royal wedding. Twilight's second year in Ponyville.