Since Steven's voice is in italics, bold will now mean thought and underline means emphasis. From now on.

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Thursday, January 24th

I woke up slowly today. The kind of waking up where you have to lay there for a few minutes before your body lets you move. I hadn't dreamed last night, or at least not that I could remember. As my brain slowly started working and driving away the haziness from my vision, I felt... heavier. I was laying down on my back, and somehow Rarity had uncovered herself and rolled over in her sleep and was laying spread-eagle on my chest. Her newly repaired mane was slightly frizzled, and she was snoring away softly. She was freakin' adorable. I didn't want to wake her up, so I decided to lay back and be quiet. She didn't suddenly jump awake, so I assume Steven was either still asleep or decided not to bother her either. I just sat there for a while, listening to the soft rhythm of Rarity's breaths.

"God I love it here." I mumbled quietly. Then I started thinking.

Everything is awesome here. Where else can you wake up with a pretty fashionista unicorn sleeping soundly on your chest? No matter how many times I get beaten, moments like this make it worth all the pain and confusion this world causes me. That and Unity. God I love that little guy. That reminds me, shouldn't I go check on him? Nah, Twilight has it covered I'm sure. Thank Celestia her and Fluttershy agreed to help me out. Without them, I'd be hopelessly lost with Unity... I can't believe how lucky I am. This easily is the single greatest thing to happen to anybody. Ever. Then, Rarity began to stir on my chest, interrupting my thoughts. She moaned lazily and stretched her limbs before blinking her eyes open and staring right into my open eyes. I smiled at her.

"Hey there." She blinked a few more times and I could feel her tense up against me, but then she relaxed and let her body relax.

"Hello Sharky..." She said softly. She laid her head on my chest and sighed. "This is nice..."

"Yeah, sure is. It feels great not to have to run off and do something for a change..."

"How often do you get a break like this dear?"

"Uhh... I don't. Not since I came here anyway. The constant work is nice... but even I need to rest eventually..." Rarity let out a soft giggle.

"Not that you don't try to avoid it dear!" I laughed along with her.

"Yeah, I guess I do push myself a little. It's for the good of everypony else though, so I'm gonna keep doing it."

"Heh, I'll bet you will..."

"Oooooooh!!! This totally proves it! I knew she was your special somepony! I just knew it!" Sweetiebelle was in the doorway, jumping like a crazed kangaroo. Before I could say anything, she dashed off triumphantly.

"Oh no! I'm sorry Sharky!" Rarity started to get up, but I pulled her back down and laughed.

"It's no big deal. She's just one filly, it's not like it actually matters. Right now though... I'm enjoying just laying here. With one of my best friends ever." Rarity flinched against my chest then sighed.

"Yes... friend... I'm enjoying this too..."

"Good... do you mind if we just lay here a while? I haven't relaxed like this in ages it feels like..."

"Of course not dear, I suppose I could stand to relax a little myself..."

"Really? You stressed out too?"

"I suppose you could say that."

"What's got you upset?"

"Oh, just the densest pony I've ever met." I blinked a few times.

"Who would that be?"

"... Dear Celestia... just go back to relaxing Sharky..."

"Whatever you say... Ahh, it feels good to just--"

*HAAAALELUJAH*

"Oh for the love of all things holy!" I edged Rarity off of my chest and onto the bed next to me. I pulled out my phone and answered the call. Luna's face filled the screen. "Hello Luna, what's up?"

"Uhh... the sky? Is that not always above?"

"No, it's a movie."

"A what?"

"Nevermind. What do you need?"

"We... I hath a new mission for thou, Sharky."

"Well darn... Sweet! Just woke up, what'd I miss? Well, what am I hunting?" Luna gave me a confused look.

"Thou... hath just awoken?" I gave her a confused look right back, but Rarity started clearing her throat, so I turned to look at her. She mouthed 'Steven'.

"Ohhhh! I guess I haven't told you about Steven yet, huh Luna?"

"No, thou hath not mentioned him. Is he a new friend of thous?"

"... No, he's one of my two voices. Steven is a total prick and when my voice changes, I'm Steven, not Sharky."

"We... I apologize, please expain this further?" I sighed.

"I have two people in my head. One is me, this one, and one is Steven. Steven is a jerk. If my voice changes, I'm Steven, not Sharky." Luna slowly nodded.

"We... I suppose this makes some form of sense... Anyway, thou hath a new mission Sharky... and Steven."

"Bitchin'! I loves me a good fight! Ok Luna, if you need my help, I'm there. What is it?"

"A stone golem has accidentally been let loose in one of the unicorn cities."

"A golem?"

"Yes, an animate creature made from--"

"No, I'm familiar with golems, but you guys can make them? That's pretty sweet."

"A rampaging rock monster is no sugary snack Sharky..." I facepalmed. I've been doing that a lot lately.

"Nevermind, just get me to the city..."

"Now? Doesn't thou wish to prepare?"

"How big is a golem here?"

"Only slightly larger than it's creator."

"Nah, I'll be just fine. I can go now."

"Very well, teleporting thou now..."

"Wait, if a golem is a magically animated creature, how come nopony in a unicorn city can stop it?"

"Once a golem has been released, it cannot simply be stopped by magic, one must defeat and destroy it."

"Got it. Ready to go now."

"Good. Teleporting thou now..."

"Bye Rarity!" In a flash of black light, I was gone.

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I was flashed into the middle of what appeared to be a town square. All the buildings around me were styled to look like books or piles of books.

"Geez, Twilight would love it here... So, how does one find a rampaging stone po--" I heard a giant crash as a book building to my right exploded outward. A shower of dust was flung out by the impact, and when it cleared there was a rock pony just a little bit bigger than Big Mac standing among the debri. It's eyes were piercing white with no pupil whatsoever. It's gaze locked on the only living thing in the area, Me. "Oh, joy. Found it. Huh... I was expecting a bit more." The rock pony lowered it's head and charged at me like a crazed bull. I rolled my eyes. I crouched down and braced my arms to catch the golem. It's head rammed into my hands, stopping it cold. I grabbed it's rocky throat with both hands and lifted it off the ground. He was a heavy guy, but the miasma gave me enough strength to lift and hold him.

"Oh no! Another monster!" A unicorn screamed from a nearby building. I sighed in relief.

"Good, a town where they don't know me! Hey, focus. You're holding a giant rock pony." The golem was flailing around wildly in my grasp, and it wasn't making it any easier for me to hold him up. "So, let's see... My shark blades won't effect you... Ah, I've got an idea!" I heaved greatly, and managed to throw the golem a short distance away. He hit the ground, becoming momentarily stunned. I pointed directly at his head. "Thundraga, thundraga, thundraga, thundraga." Four bolts flew at the golem's head in quick succession. The energy it cost me brought me to my knees. "Way to go genius! Huh, energy drain is new... Guess I never used it like that though..." The golem laid on the ground limply, it's head reduced to mere pebbles. "Well, got the job done I suppose..." I pulled my phone back out and called Luna.

"Sharky! Calling so soon? Is there trouble? Doth thou need assistance?"

"Nah, golem's dead. You're welcome. Can I go home now? I just no found out the physical cost of using my magic too many times in a row..."

"... Thou hath dispatched it already?! Thou hath only been there for a grand total of 3 minutes!"

"Yeah, he wasn't very strong..."

"... Very well... We... I suppose we... I should not be shocked by this..."

"Next time send us to a real fight! Ya got my hopes up fer nothin' bitch!" Luna flinched at me.

"That Steven fellow truly is horrible..." She muttered.

"Oh man! Steven, shut up! Can you just send me home now?"

"Very well, we... I shall teleport thou now..."

"Cool." Again, I disappeared in a flash of black light.

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I flashed back onto Rarity's bed.

"Oh! Sharky! You're back already!" Rarity exclaimed. She was in the corner of the bedroom, in front of a mirror.

"Yeah, easy kill... why are you wearing a maid outfit?" Rarity was dressed up in a cute little frilly maid's outfit.

"... I always dress like this when I clean?"

"Oh god, I got good money on him buying that! Oh, that makes sense I guess. Well, I should get back to my son. I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted with him yesterday... Called it!" Then I swung my legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand up. I fell backward onto the bed the moment my feet contacted the ground. "Ok... dizzy..." My vision swam and my head pounded as the fatigue from the spell casting reminded me of it's prescence. "Whoa... ok, guess I'm not standing for a bit..."

"Are you ok dear?!" Rarity ran over to my side and started running a hoof over my head as if I were sick.

"Yeah, just a little exhausted from some rapid spell casting... apparently using my thundraga four times in a row is a bad idea..."

"Oh you poor thing! I'll go get you something to drink!" She darted out of the room and I groaned.

"No way I'm goin through this crap again, last time I let somepony take care of me, she ended up getting drunk and kissing me." I forced myself to stand again. This time I stayed standing until the desire to vomit and fall over subsided. I stumbled towards the door, but Rarity came back before I could leave.

"Oh no you don't! You need to rest mister!" She lifted me with her aura and moved me back over to the bed.

"Ah crud... you know, I really can do fine..."

"Ha! I think not my dear! You can't even admit when you can't stand!"

"So? I'll be fine! I just need to get back to my son."

"Look, you know I'm your... friend, yes?"

"Of course I do Rarity!"

"You know I only have your best intrests at heart yes?"

"And I yours."

"Then please trust me? I only wish to help you dear!"

"But--"

"Ah ah! No 'but's!"

"... Fine, I'll trust you I suppose..."

"Good. Now, drink this." She levitated me a small cup. I grabbed it from her aura and looked inside. Just water. I tossed it back and handed her the cup. "Good boy. Now, go to sleep..."

"But I'm not tire-- whoa... what the..." A sudden wave of drowsiness washed over me from nowhere. "W-what the..." Rarity smiled.

"I'm sorry dear. I got some sleeping potion from Shadow a while back to help Sweetiebelle with some insommnia. I knew it would be the only way to get you to stay put and rest."

"... Fair... enough... Wow... That's some... strong stuff... I... regret... nothing." Soon, both me and Steven were out like lights.