“Thish ish nice...” I slurred as I drank my.... gah, fuck the numbers. Lots of wine. Luna was keeping even with me, but I was too dulled to tell if she was as drunk as I was. I decided being drunk was rather enjoyable. Everything was funny and pretty. Especially Luna.

“Yesh, We musht agree... You’re the besht Sharky...” Luna rubbed her face on the top of my head soothingly. “I’m sho glad you came inta my life.”

“Aww, it’s no big *hic* deal...”

“No no, it really ish. I was sho alone Sharky... For a thousand yearsh We were awl alone...”

“I’m sorry Luna...”

“Even before that. Nopony loved the night... We never had any friendsh.” I could feel a tear drop onto my head. I was quiet for a moment and Luna continued talking. “Yer one of the few ponies that likesh me fer me.” Luna lifted her head off of mine and looked down at me. “You do like me for me don’t ya?”

“Of courshe I do!”

“... What if we weren’t a princess? Would you shtill love us?”

“Heh heh, I don’t give a flying fuck about statuses.”

“How about if I was poor?”

“I never even use money here! I’d still love ya.”

“Ugly?”

“Have you seen me?” I joked. Luna giggled a little.

“What if... What if I was... a Nightmare?” I frowned a little.

“Whaddya mean?”

“We... We’ve done terrible things Sharky...” Luna muttered. She scooted off of my lap and sat with her back to me. “I was a terrible thing. Shomething nopony could ever be ok with.”

“Luna, that was a long time ago.”

“I tried to kill my shister...” She sobbed. Her body started to rock with sobs. “It was horrible Sharky... I was a monshter...”

“Luna... You aren’t like that anymore...”

“I am! She’s shtill inside me Sharky...” Luna cried. She collapsed to the blanket and cried openly. “I don’t want her anymore! I’m shtill a monster!” She wailed. The sight broke my heart, and if I could think straight I might have been more concerned about the Nightmare. I stumbled over to her and laid down on top of her. I reached my arms around her neck and hugged her. I leaned my head down to her ears and whispered to her.

“Luna, you’re no monster.” I consoled. I struggled for a while to think of some good words to make her feel better. Then it came to me. “I’ll tell you what, we’ll beat her together!” Luna’s sobs slowed down a little and she sniffled.

“W-what doth thou mean?”

“Well, Ah’m a monshter hunter, right? I’ll help you with the Nightmare. I’m shure we can get ‘er together!”

“Y-you want to help? You aren’t shcared of her?”

“Heck no! I’mma fuckin’ bossh! I’d beat her fer sure, and you can too!” Luna giggled a bit at my drunken confidence. “Point is Luna, I’m here for you, no matter what.” Luna started to tear up again. I put on a big frown and tried to understand why she was sad. Then she rolled around and I was under her. She dropped down so that she was laying on top of me and hugged me tightly.

“You really do love me...” She sobbed. “Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou! I know I’ll be fine with you by my side!” She gave me a big kiss on the cheek. I hardly noticed. “You are the best ever!” She gave me another kiss. Then another. Then another. Then she was actually kissing me on the lips. I blinked a few times as I tried to figure out how she had gotten her lips to my mouth. Hadn’t they just been on my cheek? Why was she rubbing herself against me? Wait, when did she start rubbing against me? Why did I like it so much?

“L-Luna?” I tried to ask, but my voice was entirely muffled by her mouth. I don’t know what she thought I was doing, but she seemed encouraged by my muffled voice and drove the kiss further. She tried to coax my tongue to tangle with hers, but I put my hands on her chest and pushed. She was lifted away from me, but her mouth kept trying to kiss me.

“W-wha?” She asked after her mouth stopped trying to find mine. She blinked her eyes open and I saw some confusion in them.

“Luna you’re drunk.” She smiled at me.

“Hee hee, lucky you!” She pushed back down on me and tried to lay on me again. I managed to keep her supported in mid air.

“N-no Luna! Thish is bad!”

“Oh, how can it be bad?” She giggled. I struggled to remember why it was bad. The answer was in my head, but it refused to come to me.

“It... it just ish!”

“Oh, I get it!” Luna crawled off of me. I sat up and breathed a sigh of relief. Judging by the heat coming from my groin I wouldn’t have been able to resist much longer. Luna was still grinning at me lustily when I stood up. I frowned and started backing away.

“... Sho... I’m gonna go now...” I said warily. Luna nodded off behind me.

“Go then.” She giggled. “I like a little ‘hard to get’ myself. Let’s hope you run faaast!” Luna sang the last word a little.

“N-no, that’s not what I--”

“5... 4...”

“Shit. HA! Dis gon be good!” I turned around and took off running. I stumbled much more than I should’ve, but I managed to stay upright. I didn’t have the slightest clue where I was going. Bushes and flowers blurred as I ran by, becoming entirely unrecognizable and creating confusing colors and patterns.

“Here I cooooooome!” Luna sang from somewhere behind me. I picked up my pace and didn’t bother to look back. I didn’t hear hoofbeats or anything behind me at first, but I decided running was still a good idea. I ran into a huge collection of hedges and stopped for a moment. I was somewhere in the hedge maze. I ended up here surprisingly often now that I thought about it. I jumped into the wall of the hedge maze and stood completely still. I heard rushed hoofsteps fly right by me right afterward.

“... Ok, coast should be clear...” I poked my head out of the hedge and came face-to-face with Luna.

“Boo!”

“Shitshitshit!!!” I backpedalled through the hedge and took off running down the maze again. I was already unsteady, so it wasn’t long before I kicked a root and fell to the ground. I slid a little and tried to leap back to my feet. A hoof thudding into the middle of my back stopped me cold.

“I win!” Luna cheered. I tried to scramble out from under her, but I couldn’t muster the strength in my drunken state.

“N-no! Luna, pleash!” I slurred. She laughed louder.

“You can give up the game! I hath beshted you!” Luna teased. “Now I get to take what’s mine!” I was wrapped in an aura and Luna removed her hoof. She started slowly trotting back to the blanket with me in tow. I was too drunk to feel the pain from her magic rushing into me, but unfortunately I was also too drunk to use her magic.

“Luna no! I don’t wanna do thish!” Luna stopped for a moment.

“You can shtop now Sharky! Let’s just go have our fun!”

“I don’t want to! Let me go Luna!” Luna started to falter.

“W-what doth thou mean?”

“You heard me! I don’t wanna do this! He’s lying! Bone him now!” Luna’s frown deepened and she looked a little hurt.

“Steven says you’re lying... Why do you pretend shtill?”

“I’m not pretending! Please Luna, don’t do this to me!”

“W-why? I thought you loved me...” I faltered for a moment. I did love her right? Why was I fighting again?

“I-I do... but... I think thish ish bad...”

“H-how could it be bad? We love each other, yesh?”

“I... yesh...” There was something in the back of my head still trying to tell me I needed to fight, but it was getting quieter and quieter as time passed.

“Then why do you resist?” I couldn’t find the answer. I was tired of not being able to find answers and decided being drunk sucked. I decided to ask a question for a change.

“Well... why do you wanna do thish? I don’t understand...”

“Sharky, you make me feel good.” Luna answered. We arrived at the blanket and she set me down. I collapsed to my knees. “You make me feel shafe, shtrong... happy. I feel not alone anymore. I wanna make you feel good too!” She explained, and dammit it seemed like a pretty solid answer.

“Oh.” All of my mental debating skills left were put into that rebuttal. Luna grinned at me again. "N-no Luna, thish shtill isn't right! Ah love you, but I didn't realize you wanted thish kinda love!"

“Stop fighting my love...” She ordered. A black wind swirled around me for a moment, and that little voice telling me to fight went away completely. It was replaced with a voice that made me see how pretty Luna looked tonight. How much I liked her, but different than the friendly way I usually thought of her. The new voice made me want to hold her, touch her, do things that I had never even considered before. It truly frightened me that I was suddenly willing to abandon all my morals and have premarital sex. WITH THE PRINCESS!! I had to think of a way to stop this, I didn't want to ruin her honor just because she was drunk and made a bad decision

“Y-yesh Luna...” I felt myself whisper as she leaned down to kiss me again. In the second before she kissed me, I felt my body try to collapse from the sheer amount of magic I had forgotten Luna was forcing into me. In a last ditch effort, I looked around for a method of escape. “Moon Tomato...” I mumbled to myself. I threw the last bit of strength I had into directing my fall towards the half black fruit. I hit it and a pain lanced through my skull, but to no avail. I was still awake. I rolled onto my back, all resistance gone. Luckily, Luna saw my head. The horn was splitting my forehead open, and the blow from the Moon Tomato was all it needed to start bleeding profusely. "FUCK! Jig's up."

"Oh dear, are you ok?!" Luna squealed in shock. I shook my head and blood ran down the sides of my face in little rivers.

"To be honest, this is a bit of a firsht for me." I whimpered. The pain was now breaking through the dullness from the alcohol. Luna lfted my head and cradled it in one of her forelegs.

"Oh... dammit me! Why didn't I see this?!" Luna cursed herself. I patted her cheek and looked into her eyes.

"Hey, it's fine. You didn't know, an' I didn't tell ya. Besides, thish ish minor. I'mma just need a lil rest..." Luna nodded quickly.

"Of course, of course. Besides, somepony might be coming along soon anyway... We'll consider this a blessing in disguise.

"Cuz I feel blessed right now."

"... Shorry..."

"Heh heh, as far as I'm concerned, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger... Just... send me home, I'll talk to you soon." Luna frowned slightly, but she didn't look like she was going to argue. She gave me another quick peck on the cheek and smiled. "Sorry I went an got hurt..." Luna let out a light chuckle.

"For the first time in awhile Sharky, thish wasn't really your fault!" A flash of black light enveloped me and I disappeared. Luna sat there, momentarily hating herself for hurting Sharky so much. Then she reflected over what she had done over the course of the night. She face-hoofed and groaned. "Oh my... I can't believe I almosht did that! This was out firsht real date, and he tried to shay no!" Not only had she hurt him, but she had lost all control of herself and nearly... "Raped him..." Luna admitted out loud. That was what it would have been after all. She had abused the very oath she had instilled in him to protect herself from him should he turn on her. She decided she had to make it up to him. Preferrably in a non-amorous situation to avoid repeating her previous behavior.

"Restless night, sister?" Came Celestia's voice from behind her. Luna leapt to her hooves in suprise.

"Oh! 'Tia! W-what art thou doing here?" Luna's suprise managed to overcome the slur in her voice.

"Just visiting my sister, is that so wrong?"

"No..."

"Good! Then perhaps you could tell me who else was visitng you tonight?"

"Hmph. Don't even shtart that game Celeshtia. I know you know who it was."

"Drinking too? Well, I hope you're pleased with yourself."

"I'm not, if you musht know!"

"Good! Playing around with the knights like that. You're going to hurt his heart. Besides, he already has others after him. MORTAL others."

"It's not like that! There was no 'playing around'. As much as I might have tried..."

"What do you mean tried?"

"He forced me away... and now that I think about it... I belive he injured himshelf on purpose to preserve my honor..." Celestia's expression changed to one of mild disbelief.

"Forced you away? Impossible, no mortal has ever turned you down on such an offer."

"He's different from those others!"

"Really? He's no different from any other stallion you have for a night to sate your desires. Don't try to tell me different." Celestia sighed and sat down next to her sister. Luna hesitated for a moment, but sat down as well. "Look, I know what it's like to wish for love from... well anypony really. However,the simple fact is, nopony truly loves us. They only respect us."

"No, that's not right! He loves me back, he said so!"

"Ponies say things they don't mean all the time."

"What about your beloved student?" Luna countered. Celestia faltered.

"... That's different, it's a non-romantic love. Sharky on the other hoof was likely just telling you what you wanted to hear in order to get what he wanted."

"That logic would be sound if he wanted anything!" Luna's quickly growing anger gave her a brief relief from her foggy mind.

"Well, he may have rebelled against rutting, but maybe he wants money. Power. Possibly just bragging rights."

"Celestia, he has no use for money! He gets plenty of free favors simply for being a hero. He's more powerful than almost anypony we know. He wouldn't need to be with me to have power. He also isn't a braggart. His opinion of himself is so low that the first time I ever heard any kind of self-respect from him was tonight."

"Luna, even so... Look, I just don't want you to get your heart broken... I'll grant you that he does appear to be a fine stallion, but even he is mortal. You can love him all you wish, but he will still die one day. I don't want you to have to endure that pain." Luna opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again. She knew her sister was right. Then she remembered some of Sharky's words from earlier.

"As far as I'm concerned, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger." She quoted. Luna stood and walked away from her sister, leaving her to contemplate her words. Celestia sighed, she already had a response. She whispered it to nopony as her sister walked away.

"Unless it cripples you sister..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hiya Twi!" I shouted a little as I appeared in her bedroom. Twilight leapt about three feet off of her bed, she had been reading.

"S-sharky! Don't scare me like that!"

"I'mma shorry..." I stumbled over to her and peered at the book. She whipped it away and shoved it under her pillow. "Whatcha reading?"

"Are you... drunk?"

"I think sho... Is the room spinning?"

"No..."

"Then yeah, I'm drunk." Twilight levitated me over to my bed and tucked me in.

"Get some sleep... and don't expect me to miss any of my time tomorrow because you were up so late."

"Wouldn't dream of it... thish bed is fuckin soft." Twilight shook her head at me.

"Well, at least you had fun. I guess I should be happy for that. Wait, wh-- Why is your head bleeding so much?!" Twilight shreiked as she saw the streams of blood falling onto my pillow.

"I had ta hurt myself to keep from gettin sexed up by Luna..." I mumbled as I fell asleep.

"... WHAT?!?!"