“And then I said, ‘Oatmeal!?’ Are you–”

“I’ve heard this story before, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash growled as she walked next to her continuously hopping companion.

“Oh. Well, did I tell you about the time when–”

“Yes,” Dash cut her off.

“Hey, you didn’t even let me say which one it was! How do you know which story it was gonna be?” Pinkie said with a frown.

Dash stopped walking and made eye contact with her friend. “Was it going to begin with somepony saying something about parties being inappropriate for the situation, and end with you proving them wrong by throwing a party for it?”

“... Touché,” Pinkie said, eyes narrowed.

“Look, let’s just get to Fluttershy’s house, so we can… Uh…” Rainbow scratched her chin with a hoof. “Why are we going to Flutter’s place, again?”

“To invite her to the party for Rarity, duh?” Pinkie chirped, her bounce resuming.

“Of course,” Rainbow said as she dragged her forehooves down her face.

“Anyway, we’re here!” Pinkie giggled as she crossed the small bridge in front of Fluttershy’s house and hopped over to the door. Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief and floated over the rest of the way, landing in front of the door and immediately rapping it with a hoof.

“Fluttershy, open up!”.

The door remained closed.

“Fluttershy? It’s me and Pinkie,” Rainbow said after a few long moments.

The door remained closed.

“Let me try,” Pinkie said, pushing Rainbow to the side and rolling her shoulders to produce a satisfying crack. She then flexed her legs, pulling them to the sides to loosen the muscles before returning to all fours.

“Watch and learn,” she said with a grin, before repeatedly ramming her face into the door.

“FLUTTERSHY! ME AND DASHIE ARE HERE TO INVITE YOU TO A PARTY!” Pinkie cried as her forehead hammered against the wood.

Rainbow suppressed a chuckle as she pulled Pinkie away from the door. “Come on Pinkie, stop before you hurt yourself.”

“But Dashie, Fluttershy’s not answering! What if she’s hurt or something?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “She’s probably just upstairs or something. Look, she keeps a key under her doormat,” Rainbow said as she reached under the mat and pulled out a small silver key. “We’ll just let ourselves in and–”

Right as Rainbow went to place the key in the hole, the door blasted open, crushing her beneath it as a bear, a flamingo, a flying squirrel, a seal, a group of otters, a kitten, a bat, a falcon, a hawk, a family of beavers, a small armada of chipmunks, and a moose stampeded out of the cottage.

“Oh dear, come back my friends!” Fluttershy’s voice called after the retreating animals as she stepped out onto the fallen door.

“Hi Fluttershy!” Pinkie chirped.

Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my, Pinkie! Are you alright?”

Pinkie giggled. “Yep! But Dashie might not be feeling too good.”

Fluttershy quirked an eyebrow and looked around. “What do you mean? Where is she?

“You’re standing on her,” Pinkie said, pointing a hoof.

Fluttershy gasped as she immediately began lifting the door off the ground and inspected Rainbow’s slowly twitching form.

“Oh my goodness, are you okay Dashie?” Fluttershy’s voice quivered as she helped Rainbow to her hooves.

“See?” Rainbow croaked, her eyes still rolling in their sockets. “I told you Bananas were a vegetable, didn’t I?” She promptly fell over.

“She’s fine,” Pinkie giggled. “She’ll be right as rain after the next jump cut.”

Fluttershy frowned as she looked between Dash and Pinkie. “If you say so…”

“Anyway, what was the deal with that fracas there?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh Pinkie, that’s just it! I have no idea what happened, but… Well, maybe it would be easier just to show you…” Fluttershy shook her head as she motioned inside the cottage, and Pinkie followed her.

The scene that greeted them inside the cottage could not have been further from Pinkie’s expectations. The entire first floor had been torn to pieces, furniture overturned, walls marked by claws, and floorboards snapped. While that wasn’t too unusual an occurrence for Fluttershy’s home to suffer, what set this incident apart was the layer of shredded pink fabric that seemed to be coating every available surface. Pinkie gaped as she took it all in. “Wow, you must’ve had one hay of a party in here! And you didn’t invite me?”

Fluttershy held her head in her hooves as she flew around the room. “But I didn’t have a party! When I got home from the spa earlier, all my animal friends were wearing… these!” She motioned at the scraps of fabric littering the room. “At first it was kind of cute, but I guess they didn’t like it very much, because they all just went berserk!”

Pinkie frowned as she sat on her haunches. “That’s not how you play dress up at all.”

“I don’t think the animals were playing dress up, Pinkie,” Rainbow deadpanned.

Fluttershy gasped as Pinkie leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Told you.” Fluttershy glanced back and forth between them, Rainbow quirking an eyebrow and Pinkie grinning ear to ear. Finally she sighed exasperatedly as she floated over to her couch and sat down.

“And now all my animal friends ran away! Even Angel! They’ll never forgive me for letting this happen to them…”

Pinkie clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “Of course they will! And you know why?”

“Why?” Fluttershy sniffled.

“Because Pinkie ‘Detective’ Pie (and her lovely assistant Dashie) are on the case!” Pinkie beamed.

“Hey, why am I the assistant?” Rainbow groused.

Pinkie wrapped a leg around her neck and mussed her main with a snort. “Because you don’t have any experience detectiving, Dashie!”

“Whatever,” Rainbow said with an eyeroll as she slipped out of Pinkie’s headlock and approached Fluttershy. “Do you have any idea who did this, ‘Shy?”

Fluttershy tapped her forehooves together tentatively. “Well… I did find this note…”

“What note?” Rainbow asked.

“Umm…” Fluttershy ruffled through the scraps of fabric on the broken coffee table and came up with a small folded piece of paper. “This o–”

“Our first clue!” Pinkie cheered as she snatched the paper out of Fluttershy’s hoof and examined it with a magnifying glass. “Dashie, write this down! White parchment, folded in quarters, each one measuring exactly 4 by 5.75…”

Rainbow was going to get dizzy from all the eye rolling she had to do. “Fluttershy, is there anything else you can tell us about what happened?”

“No, I don’t know anything else, I just got home, and then all my friends were wearing tutus,” Fluttershy said frowning.

“... it was clearly folded with great care, as the edges line up perfectly…”

Rainbow tapped a hoof to her chin. “Well, what were you doing before that?”

Fluttershy shrugged. “I was at the spa, with Rarity.”

Rainbow narrowed her gaze. “Aren’t you usually done with that by, like, late afternoon?”

“... unfolding the note reveals an exquisite border on the parchment, making this detective conclude it must be somepony’s stationary…”

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh, yes, but Rarity paid for me to have a… Umm… Special treatm–”

Rainbow shook her head. “Oh jeez Flutters, I don’t wanna know that!”

Fluttershy blushed. “No! No, nothing like that! Just, she paid for me to have my wings preened, so I stayed later than usual.”

“... in the center of the note is a single word, written in what is clearly magical calligraphy…”

Rainbow wiped her brow with a hoof. “Oh, okay. Wait…”

“... The word is ‘Fun.’”

Rainbow’s eyes lit up. “Let me see that, Pinkie.”

“Hey!” Pinkie pouted as Rainbow snatched the note away from her.

There it was, right in the center of the paper; ‘Fun.’

“What is it, Dashie?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

The torn fabric. The elegant penmanship. A lack of understanding of the concept of ‘fun.’

“Did you even write any of that down, assistant? That was some high quality deducing I just did!” Pinkie grumbled.

“How can you say I never want to do anything fun, Rainbow? I love having fun as much as the next pony.”

Rainbow balled up the paper and threw it over her shoulder.

Nopony pranked Fluttershy and got away with it.

Rarity smiled – genuinely smiled – as she bit into her crepe and tasted the delicious raspberry filling spilling onto her tongue. Twilight seemed to be enjoying her breakfast just as much, if the small appreciative sounds escaping her mouth were anything to go by.

“Thank you so much for doing this with me, Twilight. It really does mean the world to me,” Rarity said with a polite smile.

Twilight chuckled. “How many times do I have to say not to worry about it? It’s my pleasure, really.”

“I know,” Rarity nodded. “I just… I guess I’m just feeling a bit guilty.”

“Guilty? Why?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

Rarity rolled her tongue across her teeth. “I just… I was so suspicious of you all, that you were excluding me, and I should have had more faith in you.” Rarity paused and took a sip of her water. “You’re my friends for a reason, and it would do me well to–”

Rarity paused. She heard a distinct whistling sound, like rapid winds moving through leaves. She looked about quickly, trying to place its source.

“Rarity?”

“Do you hear that, Twilight?” Rarity asked.

“Do I hear what?”

Rarity would have answered her, but it was about that time their entire seating arrangement was thrown into the sky by a rainbow-colored blur smashing into the ground right next to them.

That’s odd, Rarity thought as she watched her crepes roll across the fluffy white surface in front of her, I don’t remember asking to be seated at a cloud.

Before she had a chance to scream as gravity reasserted its presence in the world, Rarity found herself encased in bubble of purple magic, floating softly to the ground.

“YOU!” A familiar voice bellowed from behind her.

“What!? What did I do?” Rarity shrieked.

“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU… Uh, Twilight? Could you turn her around? This kinda loses a lot of the cool, dramatic flair if I’m shouting at the back of her head,” the voice, which Rarity could now identify as belonging to Rainbow Dash, said.

“Sorry, sorry,” Twilight apologized and Rarity felt her body spinning around.

“Thank you for catching me, by the way, Twilight,” Rarity said with a smile as her field of view passed her friend.

“Don’t mention it,” Twilight said with a polite nod.

“Now then,” Rainbow Dash coughed into her hoof as she came into Rarity’s view, “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU–”

“Wait,” Twilight interrupted her. “Why are you yelling at Rarity in the first place?”

Rainbow groaned. “I’ll get to that, just… Just let me have this, okay, Twi? Please?”

Twilight appeared to mull this over for a few seconds before nodding. “Alright, but don’t take it too far, or I’m pulling the plug, okay?”

“Jeez, fine, mom. Now, where were we?” Rainbow said, turning back to Rarity.

“You were in the middle of an exclamation,” Rarity offered.

“Right! Right. Ahem,” Rainbow coughed into her hoof again, “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU–”

“Assistant!” Pinkie could be heard yelling off in the distance. Rainbow smacked a hoof to her forehead as Rarity and Twilight looked for her on the horizon. “You’re not supposed to leave the head detective behind! That’s insubordination!”

“AUUUUGH! Pinkie, could you drop the whole detective/assistant thing for like, one minute? I’m kinda in the middle of a big, dramatic… thing, here!” Rainbow yelled back.

“Speaking of,” Rarity said with a wave of her hoof, “that was a phenomenal entrance, darling. Positively exquisite. It really set the tone for the scene.”

“I know, right?” Rainbow giggled, her face lighting up. “I was all, ‘WHOOSH!’ and then ‘BOOM!’ and you were like ‘Woah, what’s going on!?’ It was so cool.”

“Absolutely, and it took me by complete surprise! Have you ever considered becoming a stunt mare, Rainbow Dash? I think you’d be great at it,” Rarity said.

Rainbow tapped a hoof to her chin. “I guess that’d be pretty cool, if the whole aerobat, Wonderbolt thing didn’t work ou – HEY!” Rainbow furrowed her brow as she pointed an accusing hoof at Rarity. “Don’t compliment me while I’m trying to yell at you!”

Rarity covered her mouth with a hoof. “Oh, so sorry dear, please, resume.”

Rainbow stamped her hoof. “And don’t apologize! It sounds like you’re mocking me,” she growled.

“Oh no,” Rarity shook her head, “I wouldn’t dare. You have complete control of this situation.”

“... Okay,” Rainbow said, leveling her gaze. “You know what you… Ah, ponyfeathers…”

Rarity raised her eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

Rainbow rolled her neck and sat on her haunches. “I’m just not feeling it, now. The whole moment’s screwed up.”

“Do you want to go back and start from the beginning?” Twilight asked. “You can do your entrance again, and no one will interrupt you this time?”

“No,” Rainbow sighed, “no, it’s gone now…” With a sigh she turned back to Rarity “You pranked Fluttershy, okay? And it wasn’t cool.”

Twilight gasped. “Rarity did what!?”

Rarity gulped. “I… I can explain, really.”

“It really wasn’t a problem,” Fluttershy choked out as she landed next to Twilight, panting heavily. “I mean, we don’t all need to get in a fight about it. I’m fine, and Pinkie’s right; my animal friends will come back… Eventually.”

“That’s not the point, Fluttershy,” Rainbow said. “It wasn’t even a good prank.”

“I don’t know, we weren’t even there. It could have been funny,” Pinkie said, nonchalantly trotting up to the group.

“What? Pinkie, you’re the one who made the rule about not pranking Fluttershy!” Rainbow moaned.

“Oh yeah. Well, it wasn’t a great prank. It left a lot to be desired.” Pinkie said with a nod.

“You had a rule about not pranking me?” Fluttershy asked with a frown.

Rainbow blanched. “Well, yeah, because we didn’t want to hurt your feelings, or–”

“You don’t have to ‘protect’ me, Dashie. I’m not some chineigh doll that’ll break if you poke me too hard.” Fluttershy scowled.

Rainbow cocked her head. “Wait… Are you mad at me now?”

Fluttershy sighed. “No, I’m not mad. Just… Disappointed."

Rainbow grunted in frustration. “You see what you did, Rarity? You made Fluttershy mad at me!”

Fluttershy flared her wings. “Rainbow, I just said–”

“You’re such a buzzkill,” Rainbow forged right ahead, ignoring Fluttershy’s interjection, “that you simply trying to have fun results in nopony having fun, ever! You’re like fun dark matter!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Did you mean fun anti-matter?”

Rainbow shook her head. “Whatever, I don’t care!” Rainbow shouted, flying right up to Rarity’s face and glaring with all her might. “What do you have to say for yourself!?”

“Hang on, Rainbow,” Twilight said, dropping Rarity from her magic field and pulling Rainbow back by the tail instead. “I’ll have you know, Rarity and I had a slumber party last night, and we had plenty of fun.”

Pinkie gasped. “You had a slumber party without me!?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah? What’d you do, read the Egghead’s Guide to Having Fun?”

“No,” Twilight protested. “Not that it’s any of your business, but we used Slumber 102: Even More Things You Wanted To Know About Slumber Parties, But Were Afraid To Ask.”

Rainbow howled with laughter. “See!? My point exactly! You barely even know how to have fun without a book!”

Twilight scowled. “Books are valuable resources, Rain–”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I don’t care,” Rainbow said, flicking Twilight’s horn to dispel her magic grip on her tail. Twilight yelped in surprise, but Rainbow was already back to facing Rarity. “I ask again: What do you have to say for yourself?”

Rarity looked to each of her friends in turn; Twilight grimacing as she rubbed her horn, Fluttershy glaring with frustration at Rainbow, Pinkie looking sad and muttering to herself, and Rainbow herself, smirking right in her face.

“I am not a Buzzkill,” she said.

“Prove it,” Rainbow sneered.

“How?” Rarity asked.

“Prank War. You and me. Starts tomorrow.”

“Rainbow, stop it!” Fluttershy shouted. “You’re being mean!”

“Just ignore her, Rarity,” Twilight called. “You don’t have to prove anything to her!”

“Of course, you don’t have to if you just admit that you’re a buzzkill,” Rainbow practically sang.

Rarity bit her lip as Rainbow’s insufferable smirk grew larger.

This could not stand.

“Fine,” she snarled.

Rainbow spat into her hoof.

“It.”

Rarity spat into her own hoof.

“Is.”

They slammed their hooves together.

“On.”

She only freaked out about how unsanitary it was for a minute, tops.