Buzzkill
Chapter 5: It's MY Birthday and YOU Get A New Chapter To Read? That's ****ed Up.
Previous Chapter Next ChapterFluttershy loved Sundays. For one thing, Sunday had ‘Sun’ in its name, so it was off to a good start before one even considered the day itself. Furthermore, Sunday was the most peaceful day of the week. Many shops in town were closed Sundays, so instead of hustling and bustling about town or working all day, the ponies of Ponyville would happily take walks and play games in the park, or bask in the sun by the swimming hole. Even Applejack tended to take it easy on Sundays; Of course, for Applejack, ‘taking it easy’ still meant doing at least a half day’s work, but that was Applejack in a nut shell.
For Fluttershy though, Sunday meant her weekly Spa Date with Rarity, something she wouldn’t miss for the world.
However, today it was met with no small degree of trepidation; She hadn’t seen Rarity since Friday night when she left the bar. She even went over to Carousel Boutique on Saturday to check on her, but was met with a ‘Closed’ sign, and no answer to her knocking. She’d thought about lingering to see if Rarity was simply out and might return soon, but the newly installed sign next to the door which read ‘No Cutie Mark Crusading, No Scooter Riding, No Loitering’ caused her to question whether or not that would be considered loitering long enough that she’d realized she probably was loitering, and should just go home in case a police pony walked by. She didn’t want any trouble, after all.
Therefore it came as a great relief to Fluttershy when she opened the door to the spa and saw Rarity sitting in her usual spot in the lobby, leafing through a magazine. She let out a sigh she hadn’t even realized she was holding when Rarity looked up and waved to her.
“Fluttershy, how lovely it is to see you. I trust you are up for the usual? I dare say my pores feel positively clogged with oil, and it is most unpleasant.”
“Hi Rarity. The usual sounds nice,” Fluttershy replied, sitting down next to her friend.
“Excellent. I am sure Lotus and Aloe will be ready for us in just a minute,” Rarity said as she resumed reading her magazine.
Fluttershy nodded. For a moment, she thought about picking up one of the magazines and looking for an interesting article, but Rarity had said Lotus and Aloe would be ready in ‘just a minute’, and that probably didn’t leave her time to even find an article she wanted to read, much less read it. Of course she could pick up the magazine anyway, but then if she did find an article that she really wanted to read, she’d have to put it down before finishing it, and then she might be plagued with curiosity about what the article would have said for her entire spa treatment; That wouldn’t be good. She could try to read quickly, and finish it before going in for the treatment, but she didn’t want to hold up Rarity’s treatment just because she wanted to read something that could always be read later.
That wouldn’t be fair. Fluttershy frowned.
Maybe she could pick up a magazine and just look at some of the pictures? There was a mane styling book there, she could admire the pretty mares' manes for a few minutes while she waited, and then put it down when it was time to go in. Then there was no risk of an unfinished narrative to haunt her.
Of course, if she did that, Lotus or Aloe might walk in and see her looking at it, and then ask if she wanted to pick out a new mane style, and Fluttershy really didn’t want to have to explain that she was just using the book to pass the time while she waited. It was mean to get ponies’ hopes up about something for no reason.
And what if some other pony walked in right after she picked up the book who did want to pick out a new mane style, but couldn’t because Fluttershy was using it to pass the time? Why, at that point it wasn’t just mean, it was unethical! Then that pony would see her deny wanting a new mane style, and might be upset with her for the inconvenience of having to wait to pick out her own!
Fluttershy shook her head. No, she’d have to find another way to pass the time.
She could try to make small talk with Rarity, but she didn’t want to interrupt. Rarity looked like she was quite interested in whatever it was she was reading, after all. Even if she did decide interrupting her was worth it, what would she say? She could comment on the weather, maybe, but why would Rarity want to talk to Fluttershy about the weather when she had an interesting article about the latest fashions to read?
Fluttershy gasped. What if, by interrupting her, she prevented Rarity from learning about a very important new fashion trend, and then Rarity never found out about it until it was too late, and then Carousel Boutique went out of business due to the missed opportunity!? Fluttershy would have ruined her friend’s entire life just because she wasn’t content waiting through a minute of silence?
Rarity raised her eyebrow as she looked up at Fluttershy. Fluttershy felt her heart stop for a moment. Oh no! I distracted her! Fluttershy tried to steady her breath, but found it quickly increasing in pace well beyond normal.
“Fluttershy, is something wrong, dear?” Rarity asked.
Fluttershy frantically searched her mind for a response. She needed to reassure Rarity nothing was wrong in as few words as possible so that she could go back to reading and not miss anything, but each moment she spent searching for a response would be one moment less Rarity had to find out about the newest fashion. She could say ‘No, Rarity, nothing’s wrong,’ but what if she skipped saying Rarity’s name? That would save three syllables, and Rarity already knew she was the one Fluttershy would be speaking to, so that was certainly economically sound. However, Rarity had used Fluttershy’s name, and it might come across as rude if she didn’t do the same for her friend, as if she didn’t even consider Rarity worth naming. That was the furthest possible thing from what she wanted!
Fluttershy had just finished preparing to say ‘No, Rarity, nothing’s wrong,’ and just chance the extra syllables when she realized another problem; What if Rarity didn’t believe her? What if Rarity thought she was just covering up her problems for the sake of being polite and there actually was something wrong? That would be even worse!
Then Rarity would insist that Fluttershy tell her what was bothering her, and Fluttershy would have no answer to that because what was bothering her was that she was distracting Rarity from her reading, but she couldn’t say that because there was no possible way that Rarity would believe it and they’d get into a long drawn out conversation about what was or wasn’t bothering her and Rarity wouldn’t get to read anything else and she’d miss an important detail in one of the articles and Carousel Boutique would be doomed and Rarity would hold it against Fluttershy for the rest of her life and one day on her tombstone it would read “Here Lies Rarity, who would have been something if not for Fluttershy,” and Fluttershy didn’t think she could handle that kind of guilt and oh gosh what was she supposed to do there had to be a better response but what was it if only she could think a little bit faster she could--
“Ve’re ready for you! Miss Rarity, Miss Flootershy, if you vould please come zis vay,” Aloe spoke from the doorway. Rarity turned to look at Aloe and put down the magazine, getting up out of her chair.
“Oh, they’re ready for us dear! I’m so excited, I’ve been waiting all weekend for this,” Rarity said gleefully.
Fluttershy exhaled. That was a close one, she thought as she got up and approached the door.
“Now zen, ve shall start viss ze sauna,” Aloe said as she approached the large wooden steam chamber.
“Please enjoy yourselves, and let us know if you need anyzing,” Lotus smiled as the two ponies stepped inside.
Fluttershy sighed as Rarity poured some water over the rocks in the center of the room, kicking up a fresh wave of steam. She recalled the time she mistakenly called it a ‘steam bath’, which she thought made sense given the steam, but Rarity had made it very clear to her that a sauna with water and hot rocks with which to create steam was entirely different from a steam bath, which would have an external oven pushing steam into the room instead. Fluttershy had to take her word for it.
“So Fluttershy, tell me, how was Gravity Appreciation Day?” Rarity asked as she sat back down.
Fluttershy felt her entire body stand alert. Why would Rarity ask about Gravity Appreciation Day? She seemed pretty upset about it before… “Umm… It was nice. But we missed you,” Fluttershy smiled as she tried to relax her muscles again.
“Do not be nervous, dear, I’m just making small talk. I promise, I bear you no ill will on the subject. You girls were certainly right; It would not kill me to loosen up from time to time.” Rarity shook her head.
“Oh… Okay.” Fluttershy felt her face make a puzzled expression. Normally Rarity had a very… dramatic way of reacting to what she felt were slights against her character; It was entirely unlike her to simply brush something aside like this without fighting it kicking and screaming first.
“Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you all had a good time in the end. I felt absolutely dreadful that I might have ruined the celebration for you all with the scene I caused, so I took the liberty of ordering an extra surprise for you today.”
“Umm… Extra surprise?” Fluttershy asked, unsure what that might mean.
“Yes,” Rarity said with a wink, “but I will not tell you what it is. I’m certain you’ll love it.”
“That’s very kind of you, Rarity, but you didn’t have to do that.”
“I know I didn’t have to, I wanted to! Really Fluttershy, it’s the least I could do.”
Fluttershy paused, chewing on her lower lip. Was it possible that Rarity really had just let the whole thing go? It was surprising, certainly, but not impossible. And given how she was acting, it seemed like that was how it was.
“Okay, well, thank you very much. I’m sure I’ll love it. Whatever it is.” Fluttershy smiled back.
Fluttershy’s wings felt amazing. Rarity had paid for her to get the “Deluxe Preen” treatment, something that she had never gotten for herself before; Fluttershy was used to preening her own feathers, as it didn’t make terribly much sense for her to spend that many bits on something she could accomplish with a little patience and diligence, but she had to admit that it had been incredible. After all the normal spa treatments she usually received, she was pretty sure she’d reached some level of nirvana by the end of it. Fluttershy couldn’t recall the last time she felt so refreshed; She was almost tempted to fly home, but didn’t want to ruin the lovely work Aloe and Lotus had just done, so she thought she’d wait and just enjoy the absence of any ruffled plumage for now. She could always fly later, if she wanted to.
Rarity had departed before the preening began, saying it was her special gift, and while Fluttershy felt a little guilty that she was getting more spa-time than Rarity, Rarity had insisted that she deserved it for being such a good friend, and Fluttershy wasn’t one to argue with her friends when she could avoid it. She accepted the gift and made a mental note to go thank Rarity at the first opportunity she had.
For now, though, she had to go home and feed her animals. She could always go over and thank Rarity after dinner.
Fluttershy sighed contentedly as she walked across the small bridge leading to her cottage. It was so peaceful on Sundays, there weren’t even any birds chirping; Fluttershy supposed they must have been taking a nap. They’d probably all wake up as soon as they realized she was putting out their dinner.
As she approached the door, she heard the unmistakable sound of a tapping rabbit’s foot on the other side. No doubt Angel was already wondering where his dinner was. Fluttershy chuckled; She could always give him an extra carrot on top of his salad for waiting patiently.
“Hello Angel, I know I’m late, but–”
Fluttershy froze as she opened her door. Staring at her was not only a foot-tapping Angel, but also Harry the bear, a flamingo, a flying squirrel, a seal, a group of otters, a kitten, a bat, a falcon, a hawk, a family of beavers, a small armada of chipmunks, and even a moose. Of course, Fluttershy recognized all these animals; They were all her animal friends, after all. What she didn’t recognize was what they were wearing.
Pink tutus. Every single one of them wore a pink tutu. And none of them looked happy about it.
Fluttershy looked down at Angel and saw him holding a small envelope, which he quickly threw into her face. A feeling of overwhelming dread taking hold, Fluttershy carefully opened it and pulled out a small white piece of paper with one word written on it.
Fun!
Fluttershy swallowed hard.
This won’t end well.
Next Chapter: Now Kiss! Estimated time remaining: 40 Minutes