Rarity had nothing against bars, or alcohol in general for that matter. She enjoyed a nice glass of wine as much as the next pony, or perhaps more than the next pony, as Ponyville seemed typically devoid of the types of ponies who enjoyed wine over, say, beer or whiskey. But even that wasn’t really a problem for her; Sure, she didn’t care much for lager or bourbon, but if another pony enjoyed such things and wanted to indulge in them, that wasn’t really any business of hers.

She had her own habits that she indulged fairly regularly, after all, like the many trips to the spa she took even without Fluttershy, or the small black cigarette case and holder she kept hidden away in the top drawer of her dresser, from which she very occasionally took a celebratory cigarette when finishing a particularly trying order. Rarity was allowed to have her vices, so it was only fair that she allowed other ponies to have theirs.

Right now, however, Rarity couldn’t believe her eyes. She’d just witnessed her friends enter Salty Dog’s Backwater Saloon; Or, as she knew it, that bar where all the ponies who are named something distinctly other than Rarity go. She’d been to bars with her friends before, but they always went to places that had interesting selections and hygienic business practices, like La Verte or The Top Shelf; Upscale bars where the very idea of a porch covered in vomit was unheard of.

And yet, right now, she was standing in front of just that. She could barely bring herself to approach the door; She wasn’t even sure she wanted to any more. She’d gone 22 wonderful years without setting foot inside this place, and sullying such a record seemed awfully uncouth.

“So what now, Rarity?” Spike asked from beside her. Rarity cringed. What was she supposed to do?

She had finally convinced herself that her friends weren’t lying to her, and now… This. Whatever this was, she could feel it building a great deal of nausea in her stomach.

“We have to go in there, Spike. We have to see what’s happening.” Rarity wasn’t even sure she was the one who said it, but since it wasn’t Spike, and nopony else was around, she had to conclude it had been her after all.

“Umm, I can’t go in there,” Spike said, raising a claw. Rarity turned to look at him.

“I’m not particularly thrilled with the idea either, Spike, but if I can do it, you certainly can too,” Rarity said, surprised with how resolved she sounded.

“No, I mean I literally can’t go in there. I’m underage, remember?”

Rarity groaned and brought a hoof to her forehead. “Right, right. Okay, then…” She thought quickly as she formulated a plan. “You stay out here and watch the exits. If one of them leaves, call for me as loud as you can. Otherwise, just… wait for me here. I’ll be back out shortly.”

Spike nodded. “Okay, Rarity. Good luck.”

Rarity swallowed hard as she turned back toward the door. “... Thank you, Spike,” she said as she stepped up and pushed it open.

The inside of Salty Dog’s Backwater Saloon was everything Rarity had ever feared it would be; A small, cramped wooden establishment with a host of unsavory looking types lining the bar, a few small wooden tables with rickety chairs, an unending fog of cigar and cigarette smoke, and a sticky layer of spilled liquor coating every inch of the floor on which she stepped. The wood on the door frames wasn’t even painted. How such an establishment could be allowed to exist was something Rarity could barely even contemplate, much less comprehend. She had to push through, though; She had to find her friends and find out what was going on.

As she did not see the five mares anywhere in the bar’s main room, if it could even be called that, she headed off to the only doorway she saw that didn’t lead to a bathroom (which, she noticed as she recoiled in disgust, lacked doors, instead opting for an open view of the stalls from the doorway.). As she peeked around the corner, she saw a few more tables set up. Around one of these tables stood five ponies she knew very well, each clutching a small shot glass, and a bottle of amber-colored liquor sitting in the center.

Rarity stopped her advance, choosing to instead watch and listen from the doorway. It wasn’t too noisy here, so she found she could pick out individual voices if she tried hard enough.

“Here’s to Gravity!” Cheered Pinkie Pie, raising her glass. The others joined her with a few ‘here here’s and ‘amen to that’s, and the five ponies tipped back their glasses, following that with coughing fits of various degrees of intensity.

“Mmm, that’s the stuff.” Applejack said as she placed her glass back down and wiped her lips with a hoof. The others ceased coughing as she poured out another round of shots.

“Oh my, that’s… strong,” Rarity heard Fluttershy squeak, and she could still barely believe her eyes. Even Fluttershy, her spa partner, was tolerating this level of squalor?

“That’s an interesting get-up you’ve got on there, sugar.” Rarity heard a voice come from behind her and turned her head to look. Standing there was a blue stallion with a white mane that she did not recognize, but rather immediately found herself disliking.

“If that was an attempt to ‘neg’ me, I recommend you reevaluate your strategy and find a new target. I’m busy.” Rarity said, turning her attention back to the five ponies in the other room.

“You’re not even going to let me offer you a drink?” The stallion said in a mockingly sad tone.

Rarity didn’t even bother turning her head again as she replied in a harsh whisper, “No, I am not interested.” With this buffoon wasting her time, she couldn’t even hear what her friends were saying as they raised their glasses again.

“Come on, why don’t you take a load off, join me over here at the bar, and we’ll-”

Rarity didn’t wait for the end of his sentence, because she suddenly felt a hoof touch her rump. She spun around and sent a hoof directly into the stallion’s jaw, causing him to stumble backwards into the bar and slide to the floor. He looked shocked more than anything as he rubbed the forming bruise.

“Do NOT touch me, you filthy cretin!” Rarity shouted, paying no mind to the group of surprised stallions lining the bar. “How you could even dare to put a hoof on me uninvited is… is… absurd! Have you no respect!? Clearly you have no class, being in this pig’s stye, but have you no decency!?”

“Rarity?” She heard her name from the other room.

… Ponyfeathers.

Rarity turned around to see all five of her friends staring at her, having come around the corner during her tirade at the stallion, who it appeared had now fled the scene.

Rarity wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to say; Where was she supposed to begin, anyway? She’d caught them red handed, but now that she was here, she found her various ‘Gotcha!’ speeches were evading her mind. Unable to come up with something better, she settled for yelling the first thing that came to mind.

“BETRAYAL!”

Thankfully the bar had been practically silent since her altercation with the stallion, so she now had no trouble hearing it when Twilight responded. “Uh… Betrayal?”

“BE-TRAYAL!” Rarity shouted again, pointing a hoof at all five of them. Sure, this lacked the usual grace she put into her words, but at least she could get the point across succinctly.

“What are you talking about?” Twilight asked, glancing at their friends, who wore concerned expressions of varying degrees. "Rarity, we-”

“-BETRAYED ME,” Rarity cut her off. “You five have betrayed me, and I caught you! What have you to say for yourselves?”

Pinkie Pie squirmed. “Rarity? You’re kind of making a scene…” She said, glancing nervously at the bar. Rarity followed her gaze and saw the bartender, an older gray pony, giving them a displeased look.

Rarity turned back to her friends and stamped her hoof. “I don’t care. What is going on here? You told me you would be bowling!”

None of her friends responded immediately, so Rarity chose to continue staring them down while they exchanged glances. Perhaps they had left her out of developing telepathy too? Eventually Twilight spoke up. “We were going to go bowling, but, when you and Spike decided not to come, we… changed our minds?”

Rarity shook her head. “You expect me to believe that? And what were you doing Wednesday night anyway? I swear, if you say you were playing Ponopoly, I’ll…” Rarity trailed off. She wasn’t sure what she’d do, but whatever it was, it’d be bad, like fastening unmatching buttons on their dresses, or bringing store brand salad dressing to their next picnic.

“Alright, we weren’t playin’ Ponopoly,” Applejack sighed. “We were drinkin’, just like tonight.”

“But… Why would you hide that from me?” Rarity sniffled. “I don’t care if you want to engage in these activities, but it hurts that you wouldn’t even tell me.”

Fluttershy crept forward. “We’re sorry, Rarity, we just didn’t want you to be mad…”

“But why would I be mad? I don’t understand why you would think that about me.”

“Not to be mean,” Pinkie said, “But sometimes you can be a smidgen… Judgy. Just a smidgen.”

“Judgy!?” Rarity gasped. “Why… I… Name one time I have judged you!”

Pinkie glanced at her friends, and they all shared an incredulous look.

“Well, there was that one time you told me trampolines don’t belong in bedrooms. You were pretty judgy then.”

Rarity winced. But that was true, wasn’t it? “Okay, fine, then name two times.”

“How about the time when you said the Sisterhooves Social was uncouth?” Applejack suggested, eyebrow raised.

“Alright… Three times, then.”

“How about…”

All in all, her friends were able to come up with 134 times she had been ‘a smidgen judgy’ before Rarity finally realized she should stop challenging them on it. Perhaps she was a tad judgmental; She would keep that in mind in the future and try to reel it in when it wasn’t appropriate. “Fine, so maybe I am ‘judgy’. But it’s only because I care about you all, and I don’t want to see you denied opportunities due to your behavior.”

Twilight nodded solemnly. “And we appreciate that, Rarity, we really do. But sometimes-”

“You’re a buzzkill,” Rainbow said flatly.

Rarity gasped. “I’m a what!?”

“A buzzkill; You kill our buzz. You never want to do anything fun.”

Rarity wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She tried another gasp, but her lungs were still full of air from the previous one, so she quickly exhaled and gasped again. “I am no such thing!”

“Rainbow!” Twilight reprimanded with a serious look, “That’s not nice.”

Rarity could feel water gathering in her eyes. “How can you say I never want to do anything fun, Rainbow? I love having fun as much as the next pony,” She choked out.

“Yeah, but your idea of fun is, like, going to the spa for a hooficure,” Rainbow paused to gag, “or modeling dresses.”

“And what’s wrong with that? Those are very fun activities!” Rarity huffed indignantly.

“See? That right there is the problem! You’re such a buzzkill, you don’t even know what fun is!” Rainbow said, waving a dismissive hoof.

Rarity was about to gasp again, but realized she was getting dizzy from the recent oxygen influx, and chose to shake her head instead. She glanced to the rest of her friends, who wore sheepish expressions. “Do you all feel this way too, then?”

“Well…” Twilight began, her eyes downcast. The four of them began to hem and haw a bit, but none of them refuted the sentiment.

“I see.” Rarity nodded, closing her eyes. “Very well. I shall let you get back to your ‘fun’, then, and not risk ‘killing’ another of your ‘buzzes’, as it were.”

“Rarity, you don’t have to leave. You can join us, if you want,” Fluttershy offered, but Rarity just laughed.

“It is okay, dear Fluttershy, we all know I do not belong in this place. I shall simply take my leave.” Rarity turned toward the door and began to walk out.

“Rarity, wait!” Pinkie called, but it was too late; The door swung idly, signaling her departure.

Back at Carousel Boutique, Rarity fumed. Perhaps it was a bit unkind of her to simply run past Spike as he asked what had happened, but she found herself utterly unable to face his questioning at the moment. No, she could not waste time retreading ground right now.

Her friends may have thought she was a buzzkill; They may have even been right. But not any more!

Those ponies don’t think I can have fun? Well, Rarity chuckled to herself, they are in for a rude awakening.

“I’m going to show them just how fun I can be… Whether they like it or not.”