Oh man, where's that kid. I shifted from my usual placid tone to a more gruff, throaty, gravel like tone, "Apple Bloom, where are ya!?" They said it sounded like I turned into the cookie-monster, screw em though I ain't no puppet, "Apple Bloom get over here,"

"Comin!" The young filly scrambled into the workshop door, "Sorry Mr.Tacks," I changed my last name when I applied to live here, Jack Brass Tacks. She stood in the doorway waiting for me to say something.

Deepening the gravely texture of my voice I leaned over the table I was working on, "Well, come on get over here!" She gave a quick giggle, part of the reason I changed my voice was for fun, making the ponies laugh always brought me a warm fuzzy feeling. The downside to doing the voice meant it tore the shit out of my throat, "Oh- god," I said starting to change back to my normal voice, "*Cough* man...actually, can you get me a glass of water," I said pointing her back to the door to my main house.

She gave a quick smile before scampering off, "Sure,"

"Ah...good girl," I rubbed my throat trying to banish the burning sensation, "Really have to stop doing that though,"

I finished nailing down the second leg on the table, "Sturdy enough *Cough*," I said, accidentally shifting back to the novelty voice. I grabbed at my throat again, before going into a small coughing fit.

"Mr.Tacks are you okay?" A pair of bright orange eyes broke my vision, "Here," She turned revealing a glass of water sitting atop her back.

"Thanks- thanks," I said slipping in and out of the voice, "*Cough* just...give me a second," I quickly drained the glass of water, partial relief flooding my throat, "Oh dear god...so much better, thank you most excellent assistant," Yet again causing a giggle from the small filly, "Now, let's see if you have the- wheres your shoe?"

"Oh-" She looked curiously down at her bare hooves, "The Farrier said I should try to wear the shoes as little as possible," Oh right, she just barely got them replaced.

"Well...go get it, now would be the time," She quickly ran to my workbench and snagged her saddlebag and dragged it over, "Bring it here," She handed it off and I found the shoe, "Alright, come here," I met with her farrier a while ago and had one flat metal shoe made for her right fore hoof, it was basically a multi tool. A hammer, nail remover, file, and protective glove all in one, It even had a leather hood that hung over the entire lower half of her hoof. Four screw in and she was ready, "Alright, lets finish up the table," I held the nail in place on one of the supports and let her stamp it into place, "Yes, good work," I quickly nailed in the opposite support, "One more,"

We quickly finished up the basic work and flipped it over, "Ok, time to check the sturdiness," I jammed my arms under Apple Bloom's fore legs and scooped her up and onto the table, laughing all the while, "Alright so how is it,"

She quickly shifted back and forth trying to wobble it, "Hmm needs some trimmin on the front left ah think," I stuck my hand onto the table and sure enough it felt like the front was slightly off kilter.

"Apple Bloom," Ah perfect timing, "Tacks," I set the filly down and removed her horseshoe.

"Good work today, doing great so far," I said leading her into my house and to the front door. The workshop was basically in place of a garage, "Same time tomorrow," I pushed my door open revealing a robust orange mare, "All done for the day Applejack,"

"Uh, you alright there,"

"Oh- sorry, get stuck like that sometimes,"

"Uh huh, well come on Apple Bloom," She always was rather suspicious of me, from what I've heard Apple Bloom tells stories about me, I can see how it might seem a bit odd for a recent arrival with such an odd story to take a young filly into his workplace/home. Chris Hanson can keep away though, no way I'd hurt that adorable little girl. I might be a maniac but I'll eat my own bollocks before I turn into a pedo.

"Alright, bye Mr.Tacks," She said waving a hoof as they went.

I just wave back before heading back inside. I planned on finishing up the table, washing up, and going out for a drink. Maybe I'll see a pretty girl tonight...."Heh, maybe a good ass or mare..." Stupid jokes are one of my small pleasures. I walked back into my workshop and grabbed my tools, I quickly found the cause of the wobble and shaved it down flush with the others. All that was left was to sand it down and add a finish.

Screw that though, I needed to relax. With the basic work done I went into my kitchen a grabbed a quick snack before walking outside. Toast in hand I slowly walked to the local bar. Only been here once before and I don't remember that so well. I managed to finish the toast before stepping into the bar. Crumbs barely brushed off my jacket before the door closed behind me. I walked over too the bar choosing to sit next to a plum colored mare with a rather appealing backside. Lecherous, me, no way.

"Hello there~ what are ya drinkin," She just looked over at me with a slightly wobbly smile, glass of wine resting next to her hoof, "Barkeep, more wine and two beers!"

"Oh hoow nice of yoou, my names...Berry," She said, barely able to keep from falling over. An extremely early drinker. Oh god, can I do this without being a total bastard...I must try.

"So come here often," I asked as the barkeep brought the drinks and I slid him the bits.

"Ever- *Hic* every day...except- for Thursdays," Oh man, I feel a little bad about try to do this.

"Well, expect to see a lot more of me, name's Jack," I took the first drink from my beer, first impressions: thick...oddly thick, not bad mind you, "Oh, well that's interesting,"

She started laughing, "What ish that?" I couldn't help but smirk.

"Oh this, just the voice I use for pretty mares," smooth like month old milk.

"Aww thash soo sweet," Man she really was drunk if she actually thought that was funny. The next few hours were filled with broken conversations held by two increasingly drunken people. Drink by drink, hour by hour.

"I caan't believe yoou draank the whoole bottle," I said swaying in my seat.

"I dunt usually drink s-so much, but it's a celebra- cele- thing,"

"Ooh en why'sh that,"

"Beacush, I have a new hum-en friend, the last one stopped showing up," She sounded somewhat bitter about it.

"Whell schrew that guy- girl- thing,"

"Ya know...I don't really shink I can make it home by myself~" She cooed, "I might need shom help gettin inta bed~"

"Yesh, come on, I live around tha corner," I shoved off the bar counter and almost fell backwards off my stool, I stumbled down to the door, "Come ooon," I said clutching the doorframe.

She eventually reached me and we trundled sloppily down the street, "Sooo whadya think of this," she threw her hoof around erratically.

"I don get it,"

"Like, Ponie Ville, ponies, yoou knoow,"

"Oh- well I did- *hurk* did move here- oh hey look," I pointed to the worn door of my home, "Finnaly I jush need-" I fished around in my pocket for my key, eventually finding it after spilling the last of my bits on the ground, "Well...fuck it," I jammed the key in and pushed inside, "Welcomes to ma home,"

She gave a few quick sniffs, "Smellsh like shawdusht in here,"

"Did I mention I work with wood," Perks of being a carpenter meant I could get as drunk as I want, so long as I can swing a hammer and make measurements.

She started snickering, "..So do I,"

"Oh- oh! oh...i fergot, my bedsh upstairsh," I tried to take the first step up and immediatly lost my balance and fell backwards, landing on my back, "Ow....I really....shoulda not gotten soo drunk..." I felt something press into my chest.

"Jusht let me," She said laying her head down on my stomache, "Jusht~" I felt something tug at my pants for a few seconds before giving up.

"Hello," I asked trying to lift my head up. My body wasn't having any of that. I ended up just laying on the floor with the mare half on and half off my gut. I slowly slipped into a comfortable sleep on the hardwood floor. Maybe this didn't play out like I thought but I can certainly think of worse ways to fall asleep. Next Chapter: Tuesday Estimated time remaining: 13 Minutes