AJ and Twilight stared at me, only enhancing the already uncomfortable atmosphere. They whispered something to each, something that caused Twilight to frown like she'd just eaten something sour. But to be honest with myself, I was far beyond the point of that worrying me any further.

I felt strange. I could feel parts of me changing as I sat there. The surface of my skin becoming more sensitive as I grew fur, the strange fish eye effect I suffered as my cone of vision widened until my brain could adjust, and the increasing sense that I wasn't going to like the end result (not that I would have normally.) Unfortunately it would turn out that I was more accurate than I first thought.

My concern ended right about the time I suddenly passed out. I could hear the panicked voices of Twilight and AJ as my vision slowly faded. I didn't have the energy, or the bone structure to struggle against it. My mind raced, was I dying? Or was this just another stage of my mutation?

How do you describe being unconscious to other people? You're there one moment, and you wake up later feeling as if no time has passed. Imagine that, except from that moment where you blink and fade off, you awaken a second later to the feeling of your limbs being in the wrong place, and pointed in the wrong direction, and the feeling of something missing downstairs.

I paused there, where the fuck was my dick?

I nearly jumped out of the bed I'd been placed into. I have to say, finding a hole in place of where your penis usually is far better than any coffee. I pushed back the bedsheets and spread my legs. Yeah, that was definitely a vagina.

"Twilight!" I yelled, in a much higher, more feminine voice.

I could hear the sound of running hooves as she dashed upstairs and into the room. She skidded to a halt next to the bed and stared a hole through my abdomen, wait, maybe she was looking at...

I pulled the sheets back up with a scowl.

"Twilight, where the fuck... is my dick?"

Twilight looked to the ceiling, "Gone?"

"What do you mean gone! Are you seriously telling me that it changed my fucking gender too? Changing into a pony is enough, but it has to go the extra mile too? This is absolute bullshit."

"Well... at least you aren't dead." she offered.

"I don't know if you realize this Twi, but I really liked having a dick, considering it was attached to me for a few decades and all."

"I mean I was worried you died when you passed out, but the changes seem to have accelerated very rapidly in the past few hours. I have to say it's quite amazing that we get to see a full body transformation like this outside of Changelings."

"Are you even listening to me Twi? I want my dick back."

Twilight sighed, "I don't know if we can do that."

"So this world of magic and mythical creatures can't give me a sex change. Because why the hell would it?" I was too angry to cry about it. At the point where we were, the sex change aspect really didn't make things much worse. "Get me out of this bed so I can fucking strangle you."

"There's no need for violence Gerry," she chided as if it were a joke. "I understand your frustration with these... changes..."

"No you don't, if you did you'd change yourself into a stallion and whisk yourself off into another dimension so I never have to talk to you again."

"...But as I've said, there really isn't much we can do right now. We should just be happy that there are no adverse effects."

Small comfort to me at the time. Did I mention I was a little horse now? Seems like an adverse effect to me. I took a deep breath. "How long was I out?"

"Hm. About eleven hours."

"And where's AJ?"

"She had to go back to the farm."

"And now what am I going to do?"

"You're going to wait here in bed until the Princess gets here."

"Oh, so now the ruling nobility are coming down to laugh at my lack of penis."

"I'll have you know Princess Celestia is very compassionate and understanding, she'd never laugh at the misfortune of others!" Twilight declared like a fan-girl.

"Well unless she can send me home, tell her to not bother."

She didn't listen to me, obviously. The sound of wheels outside the window sent her scrambling down the stairs in a mad hurry. I could hear a new voice downstairs, mature and regal. Two sets of hooves trotted to the room as I grew increasingly nervous, I really didn't want anybody to see me. The door swung open and Twilight shuffled through, followed by a white mare with hair that blew in an invisible wind.

"You're really tall..."

Did I just say that out loud? I blushed under my fur, that familiar feeling of regret and embarrassment coming back after a long hiatus. The white mare smiled gently and drifted to the bedside. I noticed that she had wings and a horn too, all in all, I got the impression that this was somebody I didn't want to piss off.

"I am Princess Celestia. One of the ruling monarchs here in Equestria."

Okay, be polite for once in your life Gerry.

"Uh, very nice to meet you your Highness. I'm Gerry."

"An odd name for a pony, sounds more fit for a Griffon, to be honest," she mused. What the hell is a griffon? Can they talk too? Now, to say that being naked in front of royalty is embarrassing is an understatement. Wrapping myself up in the sheets was a struggle considering the state of my hands. Furthermore it seemed that the transformation hadn't completed itself yet, leaving me laid out like a piece of celery. I had an oddly proportioned body with a long midsection and short chest.

Celestia frowned and looked to her student, "Is she okay? There's something strange about her body."

"Gee, thanks for the observation," I muttered. I was far beyond the point of caring about what this white horse thought.

"He's still undergoing some changes, he used to be... taller. He stood on two feet, actually I even took a sketch to record it," Twilight pulled out a piece of paper with a crude sketch of my human self on it. An artist Twilight is not.

"How curious," The Princess replied, squinting at the paper. She paused for a moment, "He?"

Twilight blushed, "He isn't happy about that."

Celestia frowned, "How terrible." I grunted. She sighed. "I suppose I should officially welcome you to Equestria. I am Princess Celestia," she smiled. I didn't feel like smiling. "I know that this isn't an ideal situation for anypony to be in, but we're going to do our best to assist you in any way you desire."

"How about sending me back?"

Celestia tutted, "Hm. Well I suppose we could look into that, I'm thinking about the more immediate future."

"You can teleport and levitate things but you can't send me home," I complained.

Twilight hopped into the conversation, "It sounds like we're joking, but we're not. Teleportation is very simple for a skilled unicorn as long as you know the location well. As you can imagine, teleporting somebody not just to a location you can't visualize, but even see or find is another thing entirely. You could end up on another world, and they're not guaranteed to be as friendly as us."

"The universe is a large place," Celestia nodded, "Even my sister, with her mastery of the skies, would struggle to pick out a single star among the quilt of billions of others. That is to say that we're even in the same space as one another. It's possible that you've crossed dimensions."

"What? That sounds even crazier! How can I cross a dimension?"

"Magic is complicated, but it allows us to manipulate space and even time. The barrier between the realms is thinner here than anywhere else I can think of, it's what allows us to access our magic. The spirits of the past can easily traverse that barrier for example. It's possible that something has gone horribly wrong, and you've been dragged through that barrier to here," Celestia explained.

"The odds of doing that are... miniscule. Even accidentally, and it would requite an immense amount of power," Twilight objected.

"Starswirl's rudimentary time manipulation was an accident, but he was capable of recreating it. Not that the spell has much use, time is a hard fabric to cut." Twilight cringed and looked away. That must have been a jab at her.

"Irregardless, the truth will be hard to uncover in this case. All we know is that you're from another place entirely different to ours," Celestia continued, "it will be, how do they say it? A needle in a haystack?"

"A very large haystack," Twilight nodded, "Although you did mention a lack of magic Gerry, maybe that could help us."

"Perhaps, if we search by magical potential, a place with no magic would certainly stand out."

"Ugh, just give it to me straight."

"We can only theorize where you came from and how, and finding your home will be incredibly difficult even without considering how to send you there."

"And why am I turning into a pony?"

Twilight looked to Celestia for answers. She gave a nervous grin, "I'm... not quite certain on that." Twilight frowned, it seems that Celestia usually has the answers in this kind of situation. "Sometimes magic works in strange ways. I can only say that not every species in this world can access magic directly like Ponies can. Despite this, I've never seen a creature from a place with no magic at all."

"I've already run tests on him. He seems to be taking in magic at an alarming rate. I've already theorized that this would be the case."

"But why a pony specifically? Why not just let me keep my old body... and my old gender."

"I don't know," Twilight shrugged, "Maybe the hoo-man body doesn't have the capacity to take in magic like a native species does. Unfortunately it's a bit too late to test that theory now."

"But why a girl though?" I asked again, becoming increasingly impatient.

"Magic can do amazing things, but it cannot destroy."

"You mean like conservation of mass?" I added, feeling like a smart boy... girl... mutant.

"What? Anyway, magic cannot destroy something. It can vaporize it, burn it, but it cannot remove something from existence. The closest you could get is sending an object to another plane, but then it could be recovered by an equally skilled mage. In this process of your body changing, perhaps it must create a body that matches your old one."

"So conservation of mass," I stated again, Twilight tilted her head. "Ugh, it's a rule from my world that mass, uh, the thing that makes everything, can't be destroyed, only changed or transferred. So you burn a piece of wood and the resulting elements are the same."

I'm a fucking agriculture expert explaining basic scientific concepts to small coloured horses, shoot me.

"You really must tell me about these scientific theories you know about, that sounds very interesting," Twilight chided.

"I don't even know if that's true here! Everything I know could be completely useless."

"We're getting off topic, this process is trying to create a body that matches your old one. So in a sense it's matching you in the best way possible, so it's decided to allocate the... mass of your old body to create this new one. It seems that making you a female was the way it decided to go."

"So you're saying that if I was a bit fatter I'd still have a penis right now?"

"Potentially. But looking at you now... you're very large," Twilight gulped. Does she think I'd be annoyed at her mentioning my weight?

"Indeed, you are one of the largest ponies I've seen in many years," Celestia commented.

"So you're saying that it doesn't matter anyway and this malevolent magic force just wanted to turn me into a girl?"

Twilight sighed, "Maybe."

I threw my stubby hands in the air and collapsed onto the bed with a dramatic groan. Twilight and Celestia gave each other a sideways glance.

"Besides all of that, I'm willing to extend a full offer of Equestrian citizenship to you. It's the least I can do in return for what has happened here."

"And that does?"

"It gives you a lot of little benefits, you can run for mayor or court, hospitals don't charge you, you can become a guard..." Twilight rattled off a list that mostly went over my head. It seemed Celestia noticed my dead eyed look and intervened.

"...And I'm also willing to help you acclimatize to life here in Equestria. That or my student will be very happy to help you with any questions you have."

Yeah, because she answered so many of them before this.

"But the first order of business should be a name. I know this sounds harsh, but I don't think many will believe the name Gerry when they see you."

"As the Princess said, that's a griffon name. Do all humans have names like that?"

"Well it's short for Gerald. Humans can have all sorts of names, some mean things in certain cultures and languages, but where I'm from they don't mean anything. Gerald is just a name."

"Well Ponies name their children after significant parts of their lives. A colour, an occupation, an object or location," Twilight informed me, "My name for example, my dad works as an astronomer. His favourite time of the day is the twilight hours."

"And Applejack likes apples?"

"Yep, her entire family actually. Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, Big Mac..." Twilight rattled off a list at least a mile long, causing me to zone out again, "...and Apple Crumble! Their family has been a major part of our farming industry for centuries. They have farms all over the country, so it only makes sense that they'd name themselves accordingly."

How do they keep track of families in this place?

"Or you could base it off your appearance. My friend Rainbow Dash, as you can guess, has a rainbow coloured mane. It's quite incredible."

"You certainly won't struggle to pick her out of a crowd," Celestia smiled. "I feel that an appearance based name would be the best, don't you think?"

"Hey! Who said I was going to change my name! It's important to me."

"I understand that Gerry, but not everypony else will. It'll just be easier in the long run for you to take up a name."

I sighed. "Fine. You guys pick one for me, I'll just be indecisive."

"Well, judging from your appearance now you have a nice brown mane, orange eyes and light brown fur, nearly orange," Twilight hummed to herself, "And you're also very large."

"Perhaps a food item would be best. It averts some of the expectations that might be put upon you based on your name."

"Hm, you could say that it's your parent's favourite food. It's a common thing to do," Twilight clapped her hooves together. "I know! How about Chocolate Log!"

I laughed before bursting out into a coughing fit, not a good idea to do that while your chest and midsection are collapsing. Celestia seemed to understand my mirth and shook her head, "Perhaps that has a more... explicit connotation for our friend here."

Twilight blushed, "Ah. How about Toffee then?"

"Hm, it's suitably imposing of a word for a mare of her stature, and it does describe her colour well. What do you think of that?"

"Sure whatever," I waved it off after a short time thinking. At least it didn't make me sound like a turd. And it wasn't some overly feminine garbage either. Heck, I even liked a bit of toffee now and then back home. It sounded as good a name as any. "But that's only a first name."

"A first name? Do you perhaps mean that there's only one part to it? There are many ponies with such names, the position of each word does not have any significance," Celestia explained. "You can change your name later if you go to the mayor's office if you desire."

"No, that's fine. Just wondering."

"Well if we're settled here, I'd like to extend a formal invitation to Toffee, to join the Equestrian Kingdom with the full rights and responsibilities that entail. You will act with good character and kind heart, and contribute to the whole of the Kingdom through your labour and relationships with others."

I nodded along. Until she pulled out a letter containing the speech she just gave, a wax seal and a dotted line.

"Uh, Twilight?"

"Oh!" She scrambled away and brought back a quill, "He's not in any condition to write, would I be okay for me to do it?"

"Royal testimony is more than enough," Celestia nodded. Twilight used her magic to scribble out my new signature before handing it back to the Princess.

"I must leave for royal business, but it was nice to see you my student," the two hug each other before Celestia turned back to me. "If you ever have any problems, do not be afraid to ask Twilight for assistance, she has proved herself to be very capable these past few years.

"We will attempt to ascertain the location of your home, but be prepared for the potential for us to not find it. Might I suggest making a habit of exploring the town when you are ready. There is much to see and do here, and you may find something to enjoy."

"Thank you," I nodded. Well aware of what she was implying, start getting comfortable.

"Farewell Twilight, I hope to see you at this year's ball," the two hugged once again before leaving the room together. I stared at the ceiling as the sun peek through the curtains, I could hear them talking downstairs. I briefly wondered what it was about before discarding the thought. Did it really matter?

Author's Notes:

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