"Twilight, this isn't funny," I grouched from my position on the ground, my rear not-so-gracefully flagging in the air. Twilight struggled to contain her laughter, which was quite cruel considering that she was trying to teach me how to walk on four legs.

"I-I'm sorry. It's just... you look like a newborn foal."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Twi, I'm glad I have your support." I slowly stand on wobbling legs and sigh to myself, you'd have thought that whichever fucked up god had decided to fuck with me would at least have given me the courtesy of knowing how to walk. But since when was anything ever easy in my life? I'd spent the last hour wobbling around like I'd just suffered a stroke.

"Don't worry too much about it, I'm sure you'll get it soon."

"Soon isn't soon enough." I stood on shaking legs, slowly and deliberately placing each bastard limb in the correct location in an attempt to cross the floor of the library. How the hell do these ponies even live like this? "Here's an idea Twi, how about I cut off two of your legs and force you to learn to walk upright?"

"That would be... very unpleasant," she frowned; that was kind of the point.

"So how about a little understanding? This is twice the limbs I'm used to you know."

It took many frustrating hours, but eventually I became proficient enough to easily walk around the floor of the building. God help me if there was a flight of fucking stairs though. Twilight clapped along as I finally completed a lap of the library like a condescending shit.

Now that I was stood at my full height I finally realized the size difference between me and Twilight. Applejack had mentioned it before, but seeing it for myself was a different story. If Twilight looked straight ahead she'd be in line with my upper chest. Not to mention that I was appropriately wide too, I still looked like I worked on the farm.

It was actually pretty cool being the tall one for once. "Jeeze, you're a stallion and a half," Twilight commented, "I guess we know where that body mass went."

"It's rude to call a lady fat you know," I quipped. Twilight began apologizing profusely, "That was a joke."

The blushing Twilight cleared her throat, "A-anyway, now that you're capable of walking on your own, how about we go outside and get some fresh air! I'm sure you'd like to get out of this library."

"Alright, but we aren't going to attract a lot of attention right?"

"I'm not sure, this town is pretty skittish at best. I'm sure they'll be okay with a new pony moving in! They're all really friendly once you get to know them!" Her (somewhat) forced enthusiasm didn't fill me with confidence. "Keep an eye out for Pinkie, she'll be jumping at you as soon as she spots you."

"Why?"

"She has to throw a party for everything and everyone who comes through town, it's what she does."

"I'll keep it in mind."

Twilight smiled and opened the door to the centre of town. A lot of other ponies, of all shapes, sizes and colours milled around the quaint looking buildings. Up above a few pegasi flew between the clouds. It was my first time seeing them fly with my own eyes, man, why couldn't I do that?

I followed Twilight along the dirt roads as she rattled off the names of major landmarks and places with practised precision. Ponies looked over curiously, but none dared to approach until... a white and purple thing approached us. Was that horse wearing eye shadow? I turned away and spied on the buildings around me, there were a few market stalls selling their wares which I watched with interest. Maybe this place wasn't that different from earth after all.

"Hello Twilight, I haven't seen you out and about in a while," the white one says with a posh, faux-British accent.

"Heh, sorry about that Rarity, I've been busy doing something for the Princess."

"And would that something be welcoming a stallion into town?" she teased. I twitched slightly and turned to face her properly. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the look of shock on her face. Despite my size, my face still made it obvious what gender I was.

"I'm not that masculine am I?" I asked with a very feminine voice. Rarity sputtered for a moment, evidently not used to setting off on the wrong foo- hoof? I'd have to ask about my idioms later. Despite her awkward demeanour Twilight caught onto what I was doing immediately.

"Hm, well you do have that manner of speaking."

"I-I'm so very sorry dear!" she pleaded. I got the impression that she wasn't used to such a blunder.

"Don't worry about it," I said off... hoofedly? Is that even a thing?

Rarity, still flush in the cheeks from her mistake, bowed her head slightly. "I-I have to say, I've never met a mare of your stature before."

"I know right?" Twilight agreed. "This is Toffee, she's new in town so I'm giving her the tour!"

"How wonderful! I'm always happy to see a new face in Ponyville. I'm Rarity, local fashionista. If you ever need any clothing made, feel free to visit me at my boutique. I'd cherish the opportunity to work with somebody with such a unique look."

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I just nodded along. I'd rather die than wear a dress anyway. Rarity squinted her eyes, "Are you not a member of the Apple family? You're certainly tall enough."

"Nope."

"She looks like one doesn't she? Toffee is a farm worker herself actually."

"Hm, you'll get along well with Applejack."

"We've already met."

"Well I suppose you'll be staying in town for a while? I'm sure we'll be talking more in the future, especially if Pinkie finds you. Don't be a stranger." She said her goodbyes and went on her way.

"That went well," Twilight stated. "See, easy as pie!"

"Interacting with people isn't a challenge Twi."

"It was for me," she mumbled.

I saw a flash of pink in the corner of my vision. What the hell was that?

"I'm surprised you handled that so well," Twilight said pulling my attention away from the pink blur.

"Twilight, I was a stallion," I reminded her.

"Oh right."

"Anyway, it's quite fun. I wonder if I can do it to anybody else."

"Don't be mean," Twilight chided me.

The tour dragged on an hour too long for my taste, and contrary to the impression that Twilight and Rarity gave me the other ponies in the town were a lot more hesitant to approach us and say hello. Twilight had waved it off, before telling me an anecdote about another friend of hers who was a zebra and couldn't walk into town without everybody fleeing in fear.

That's pretty fucked up.

Anyway, eventually we reached the outskirts of the town, where rows and rows of trees stretched along the dirt roads. It was a beautiful place. In fact, everything in town was beautiful. These ponies put a lot of effort into their presentation. In the distance on one of the hills was a large red barn, covered in ornate designs and... apples. A bit on the nose.

"This is one of the biggest farms in Equestria."

"I think it's quite small actually."

"Well, most farms are still owned by families like the Apples, and they rarely hire outside help. Most ponies aren't skilled enough to work on a farm. They're all over the country, and they're very close to each other."

"I guess without some of the machines from home it's harder to work on such a big farm," I pondered, noticing the lack of tractors or other modern conveniences.

"Hm, machines on a farm? How strange," Twilight said, stopping outside one of the wooden shacks that surrounded the barn.

"And back home they always hired people to help out during peak season. I was one of them. If you're into complete isolation and bad living conditions it was pretty good money."

Twilight rounded me and gasped, "Oh, I almost forgot to mention this." She poked my butt to draw my attention, "This is your cutie mark, a toffee apple, appropriate right?"

"How did... it know?" I asked. Twilight had decided on the name... when did I get this? Was it even there earlier?

"That's a question the greatest scholars in Canterlot can't answer. Magic sure works in mysterious ways sometimes. A cutie mark is a representation of who we are, it can be something as simple as a tool that you use, or something more profound. They all have their own meaning but generally represent where we'll go in the future."

"When did I get this? Did you notice it earlier?"

"It was there from the start... I think. It must have slipped my mind since everypony has one," she dismissed my worry out of hand... hoof? I was seriously starting to freak out, I felt like I was forgetting something important. When the hell did I get it?

"Never mind that, we're here to see Applejack."

"Oh, what for?"

"To get you a place to stay, hopefully. I don't have any spare rooms, it's a library after all."

Hadn't I been sleeping in a room this entire time?

"So... we're going to ask AJ to put you up for a little while until you'll be able to get a place to call your own. She can help you get used to Ponyville too, she's been here her entire life."

"I'm going to end up working on this farm aren't I." Twilight's smirk faltered for a moment, I'd seen right through her scheme. "It's not like I mind, it's what I'm educated in. But I'm still not very good with my hooves am I?"

"You can only get better with them though, and what better way to train yourself than with some manual labour?"

"Did AJ put you up to this?"

Twilight sighed, "Stop being so suspicious Toffee. I'm trying to help you." The kind of statement that only draws suspicion from people like me. She approached the door and knocked and stepped back, it took a minute before anybody responded. The door swung open to reveal a very large red stallion, who was the first pony I'd met that was taller than me.

"Oh, Big Mac. Is Applejack here?"

"Yup."

"But not in the house?"

"Nope," he responded with a long drawl.

"Okay, is she out back?"

"Yep."

Is this guy slow? Twilight thanked him and dragged me out back. "He's not a very talkative one," I observed.

"Never has been," Twilight said.

"He's tall."

"He works on this farm all the time, I barely ever see him in town. I think Granny fed him well too."

"That's all genetics Twilight. I bet his parents are tall too."

"Genetics?"

"Never mind."

"Just so you know, AJ and Mac's parents aren't around any more. I don't even know what happened to them, so try not to bring it up around AJ or Mac, or Applebloom either."

"I'll try not to."

We approached a pigsty, filled with some very happy looking pigs. Applejack stood nearby, placing down a bucket that she'd probably just used to feed them. Why do they keep pigs anyway, aren't ponies herbivores?

"Howdy there Twilight," she let out a holler at the sight of me, "Darn she's a large un'. Who's this?"

"It's me, Gerry." Applejack's eyes widened.

"Well ah' don't believe it, you really turned into a pony?"

Twilight butted in, "She's going by Toffee in public, but yes, this is Gerry."

"Has Mac seen ya', what did he say?"

"Nothing much, does anything faze him?" Twilight said.

"Well you can't rightly tell unless you've lived with him a few years. Ah' can tell when he's surprised by something, you gotta' pay attention."

"We're here to talk about giving Toffee something to do now that she can leave the library. I'm hoping there's a spot for her helping on the farm."

Applejack rubbed her chin, "Hm, harvest season is coming up soon."

"And I'm hoping it's going to help her fit in better."

"I suppose I could give you a shot," Applejack hummed to herself. "How good are ya'?"

"I know how to do farm work, not so much about how to use these hooves."

"Well that's good enough for me, let's take this inside," Applejack insisted, pulling us back around the side of the barn.

Author's Notes:

i breath

me write chapter

filled with error

still not pony

where gilda