“I don’t like her.”

“Oh come on Toffee, she isn’t that bad!”

I gave Twilight the stink eye.

“Okay, maybe she went too far this time. I don’t know what she was thinking!”

“She wasn’t. She took one incident from the past and decided that it was permission to mess with anybody else who ever came through a god damn hole in the sky.” My brain was elsewhere. I wondered if the book that Celestia had sent us would actually help. If it did, then it still wouldn’t be no harm no foul – I hurt myself because of this. Whether I intended to or not.

Me and Twilight passed through the crowds and eventually exited out onto a long balcony that was covered with greenery, in the distance I could see Mac stood there behind his small cart. Contrary to my expectations it was looking busy. A blue stallion with green eyes was being dragged away, a veritable buffet of food in between his arms.

“What happened over there?”

“Oh, that’s Soarin! From the Wonderbolts. He’s a big fan of the Apple family, as you can see.”

“Is he the big name that Applejack was talking about?”

“Yes. Outside of royalty you don’t get much bigger than them.” As the queue of high-class ponies cleared, Mac waved me over.

“How’s the business Mac?”

“Good.”

“Hm, last time Applejack had a terrible time selling here,” Twilight mused.

“These kinds of ponies always have to follow the new trend, right?”

“Yup. I’m plumb out.”

“Careful Mac, Granny Smith might hit you for saying that.”

“Ain’t that kinda’ plum, stupid.”

“It sounds the same though.”

Twilight looked between us with a suspicious look, “When did you two become such good friends?”

“What do you mean? We live together. It’d be weird if we weren’t friends.”

“Yup.”

“This is the most I’ve ever heard Mac talk. It’s giving me the chills.”

My ears twitched, an unsettling sensation I still hadn’t gotten used to, as I heard a whiny voice griping about us, “Who invited the hicks? This is the most prestigious party on the annual calendar, and riff raff like this can get invited?”

“Psh, hicks?” I murmured. “I’m probably smarter than that guy.”

“Hm, probably. The average Canterlot socialite doesn’t have much room left for facts in between names, faces, and which butler they asked to shine their windows.”

“Who made you the princess of sass?”

Twilight blushed, “Oh! I’m sorry, that was very rude!”

“Aren’t you technically high society too? This is your home, and your brother is the captain of the guard.”

“I got ahead of myself. But it is true that many of the ponies in Canterlot don’t really work. Some of them live off of the money made by their families, years in the past. My father and mother still work. We’re a very studious family. Shining had to read five times his weight in books just to apply to be the captain, and he was only doing the bare minimum.”

“You have to apply to be the captain?”

“Yes. The tradition from many years was that the Princess selected them, but they formalized the system a few decades ago. Now you must prove yourself to the fellow guardsmen and complete a test that displays your knowledge and skill!” We’d gotten wildly off-topic. Twilight loved her little tangents about facets of her life and her family. I swore that I knew them personally at that point even though meeting Shining was the most exposure I’d ever gotten.

Mac took down the stand and packed it back into the cart. What a convenient little thing it was. Mac had managed to sell every single thing that he brought with us. “You think that they’ll start talking about our stuff?”

“Yup.”

“Get the money flowing. Those other ponies aren’t complaining about us hicks, huh?”

Mac nodded. Twilight saw fit to butt in again, “Didn’t you go into higher education?”

“Yes, I mean, by my standards anyway.” I was about to ask Twilight how the schools worked, but stopped myself when I remembered that I was next to Bic Mac, who didn’t know the whole hairless ape thing yet. I was curious though. Did Equestria have universities and colleges? Or was every school for a specific vocation? Twilight had mentioned the magic academy she attended once before.

“Ya’ll know where the colt’s room is?” Mac asked, “I ain’t had a break.”

“It’s back the way we came, isn’t it?”

“I’ll show you Mac, I know this castle very well after all.”

“I’ll try not to get into a fight while you’re gone.”

Twilight led Mac towards the bathrooms and left me alone for the first time that night. I felt exposed – under the eyes of all of the nobles at the ball who had nothing nice to say to me. “I say, where did you find that fetching outfit?” Or maybe I’d be approached by an affable looking stallion wearing a pair of sunglasses.

“Uh, a friend made it for me. Rarity from Ponyville.”

“Ah! You’re a friend of Lady Rarity’s, I should have guessed. She’s the only designer I know brave enough, in a good way that is, to push the boundaries of an… an…”

“Androgyny.”

The stallion seemed surprised at my knowledge, “Well read! Well read! I tried to get my manager to let me host a show about it – but she was an awful drag. Said it wouldn’t sell.”

“It’s not much of a fashion statement to me.”

He shook his head, “Isn’t that a simple matter of perspective? One pony’s life is another’s fashion statement.”

I didn’t really want to get into this debate with a stranger. The matter of how masculine I wanted to present myself was something that you don’t generally bring up at a party. I knew that this guy worked in fashion at least since he knew Rarity.

“Anyway. That is a quality piece of craft! Rarity has outdone herself again.”

“She should have some other dresses around here somewhere. I saw a few of them when I went to pick this up.” I scanned the crowd and spotted something I recognized, “Like that.” I pointed in the mare’s direction. The stallion took the bait hook line and sinker.

“Oh! I say, that is exquisite. Thank you! I shall speak with them as well.” The stallion left to accost another attendee and I breathed a sigh of relief. Some of the ponies are the ball were very pushy. At least he didn’t decide to insult me randomly. I was halfway to shoving a hoof up the fellow who called me a hick earlier.

At some point I started to wonder where Mac and Twilight had gone. The walk to the restrooms was a short one, and they should have been back by that point. I decided to become a big boy and look for them myself instead of waiting any longer. Back the way we came, through the lavish gold arch of the balcony doorway and into the main ballroom. My heart skipped a beat as I witnessed Twilight and Mac enduring a conversation with one Princess Celestia. I approached quickly, not wanting to miss anything between them.

There was a pause as I made my presence known, a question left hanging in the air as Celestia gave me a polite bow of her long, long neck. “Am I interrupting something?”

Twilight laughed it off, “It’s nothing. Celestia just wanted to talk with Mac.”

The Princess, for her part, said nothing more on the matter, “The Apple family have been around almost as long as I have, but unfortunately it’s a rare event indeed for them to visit during the gala.” I could tell that something had been mentioned that they didn’t want to tell me. Twilight was terrible at hiding a secret, especially when it was something she found embarrassing. But I’d had enough arguing for one day and let it slide. I’d have to press Twilight later.

“I must be away, enjoy the rest of the gala!”

The Princess excused herself once again and floated to another group of ponies nearby, who seemed very excited to be in her presence. Mac and Twilight didn’t seem interested in staying much longer. “You think we can catch the train back?”

Twilight looked up to the clock, “Maybe. The hotels in Canterlot are terribly expensive.”

“Yup.”

“Let’s get gone.”

Damage report.

My dignity, my willingness to attend another boring party hosted by the Princess, and a whole lot of trust in the leadership of this country. Twilight was insistent that we get to the business of trying to turn me back as soon as possible. I followed her and Spike out to a quarry on the edge of town, which Twilight said was the nearest appropriate location to attempt the method she’d come up with.

“Are you sure about this Twilight?”

“No, not really. I don’t know if this will work. But I hope it does.”

“How are we going to do it?”

Twilight pulled out the old tome that Celestia gave us and held it up with her magic. “Magic travels at a certain speed in the air, like any other gas. That means that normally we don’t have much control over its travel. There are no materials that we can obtain that can block it.”

“But since I was sucking it in so fast, Celestia could cast the spell on me.”

“Correct. Celestia used this research and a self-replicating principle to push you over the edge and transform you permanently. Your body was a vacuum, pulling it in at an accelerate rate. When there’s an empty space magic will flow in to fill it. In order for us to cast the spell again we have to empty the area of ambient magic – get you inside of that empty space and cast the spell again.”

Twilight marked out several locations with chalk, moving rocks and debris so that we had a clean space to work with. I stood where she told me and then stood completely still. “The spells will be powerful, but you need to stay right here no matter how much you want to move.”

“Are you sure you can do this alone?” Spike asked, Twilight’s discarded bag clutched between his small claws.

“Normally it wouldn’t be possible. But various spells that Celestia directed me to pull a large amount of magic from the air instead of your own reserve. On top of the replication spell that we learnt – I could set a magical fire that lasts for hours.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” I mused.

“A fire won’t be enough, think more… explosive.”

“I’m going to die.”

“Don’t you worry! I know exactly what I’m doing,” Twilight leant down to whisper something to Spike, who gave a look that told me that she really didn’t. I stood on my designated spot while Twilight weaved several small spells that started purple fires from nothing. Magic fires didn’t need fuel, only magical energy. Fire after fire was lit around me, raising the temperature from bearable to sweaty in an instant. I felt like I was about to be eliminated from a cheap reality TV show.

Boom!

I nearly jumped high into the air as Twilight’s first explosion detonated. I could feel it sucking in the air around it. Boom! Boom! More of them. I could feel myself getting short of breath, a dash of light-headedness that I couldn’t specify.

“Okay, the magic levels are thinning! Here it comes Gerry!”

Thick tendrils of violet energy reached out towards me. The pebbles and dirt on the ground defying gravity as an electric sensation passed through my body. How Celestia managed to cast this on me without me noticing was a mystery that would remain unanswered. They touched me.

I don’t really remember what happened after that…

Author's Notes:

A huge thank you to:
Evo
Korenav

For supporting me on patreon.

Writing this chapter was incredibly difficult. I've been in a terrible, non-conductive to writing mood for two weeks. Still, here it is, warts and all. I'm sure there are 50 mistakes that you fine people will direct me to in the comments; but for now I just want this out of my wip folder.