The moment of truth had arrived. Or was going to arrive in a few hours. It was the evening of the Grand Galloping Gala, the premiere socialite party in Equestria. And a pair of apple farmers were going to show up and wreck the place. Our party consisted of me, Twilight, and Big Mac. Twilight was a bit surprised that Mac was coming along. I had to assure her that we weren’t on a date.

Why would she even think that? The man was pulling an entire cart with him so he could sell some apples.

“You look good, by the way.”

“Thank you Twilight. I was worried that Rarity would make a dress.”

“Did she make it as a gift? You were one step ahead of me the whole time!”

We were enjoying a bumpy ride on the train up to Canterlot. The train was fairly empty due to the late hour and the lack of reason for most ponies to go up there. We’d taken over corner of the carriage. I stole the window seat so I could look at the scenery pass by. It was stunning – the entire line ran along the side of a huge mountain. There was always something interesting to look at.

It took my mind off of things for a little while. Confronting somebody with something that they clearly didn’t want spoken off or aired came with a discomfort that pricked my skin with pins and needles. Wouldn’t she be angry with us? Sending Twilight the book must have been a way of separating herself from the issue.

We passed through a tunnel and my centre of gravity shifted forwards as the train began to slow to a stop. The platform was lavish and well maintained, everything in the city was. The three of us passed through the streets, scaring a few of the locals in the process. The crowds grew denser and denser as we approached the towering spires of the palace, and my nerves were only put further on edge by the number of ponies watching.

“Are you sure she’s going to be happy to see us?” I asked.

Twilight tensed up, “Uh, I’m not sure about happy.”

I don’t know why I expected any better. It was clear that Celestia was trying to avoid the subject. What was really worrying me was that Celestia might just pretend that she had nothing to do with it. What could we say to her then? We had no evidence that directly linked her beyond the provision of the artefact that brought me here.

In an ideal world her honesty would win through, but the leader of a country has a lot more interests than being honest. Lying by omission is practically their job. Twilight wouldn’t dare say a bad word about her unless she was certain of it. A land of harmony and peace where nobody ever fought or killed or stole – too good to be true. But nobody had a bad word to say about the Princess. If this was Earth, she’d have been put into a guillotine by now.

We pushed through the throngs of ponies on the way to the steps. Me and Mac were by far the largest people there – we towered over everyone else like a pair of giraffes. There were red banners and carpets laid out that led upwards towards a grand door that was left open. We showed the golden tickets to a pair of guards and ascended the steps.

The interior of the ball was exactly what I expected it to be, gaggles of ponies in elaborate outfits preening and chattering away without a care in the world. At the head of the sea with a halo of her own followers was the Princess. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and my lowered stature put into perspective just how tall she really was.

“Strange, Celestia usually greets every pony who attends.”

A stallion next to Twilight scoffed, “Not this year I’m afraid – it seems the Princess tires of such a tradition.” I shot the stallion a glance, which caused him to flinch in genuine fear.

“Should we go to her now? She looks busy.”

Twilight studied the crowd, “Hm. We can wait. The gala lasts for several hours.”

“I’m goin’ off now. See you later,” Mac mumbled, turning back and heading to the outside area. He pulled the cart with ease, but I wasn’t sure if any of the nobles would buy an apple off a ‘hick’ like him. It was a mean thought, but I was in the mind that they would probably be much worse than I could imagine.

Me and Twilight stood around for a while, but the crowd around Celestia didn’t seem to thin much at all. The boredom was interrupted by the sound of a voice from behind Twilight, “Twily? You didn’t tell me you were coming to the gala!”

Twilight seemed surprised to see him. “Shining! I thought you’d be busy,” the two shared a hug. The unicorn stallion was tall and stocky and had white fur and blue hair. I could tell that they were related to each other.

“And who is this? A friend from Ponyville?” He looked to me, but his face scrunched up as he tried to process what he was looking at. The tallest damn mare he’d probably ever seen wearing a suit at Equestria’s high society ball.

“I’ll do introductions! This is Toffee, she’s… a friend – The Princess asked me to help them with something.”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Twilight’s brother and captain of the guard, Shining Armor.”

Twilight scooted closer, “Sorry I didn’t write, but I wasn’t sure we’d be attending until a few days ago.”

“That’s okay – you’re a fully grown mare now! With your own house… and job…”

“You’re making me feel old.”

“Are any of your other friends here with you?”

“No, it’s just us this time.”

“They stayed away huh. Don’t tell the others, but I find this a little boring too,” He whispered.

“You find this boring? Don’t you spend most of your time stood outside doorways?”

“No – I have a lot of paperwork to do instead.” He winced as the once unspoken words left his mouth, “You’re huge.”

I chortled. That one was too much for me. “Shining,” Twilight admonished him, “No wonder you have so much trouble with mares.”

“I’m used to it by now,” I sighed.

“I thought you were a stallion, because of the suit! Not because of anything else!”

“Don’t worry about it,” I smiled, “There’s a reason why I’m wearing this.”

“Sorry. I don’t really have time to stick around right now, we have a rollcall in a few minutes. Come find me later Twily!”

“Of course, see you later.”

Shining walked back into the crowd. “Your brother’s a dork.”

“I know.”

“Does that run in the family or…”

She shushed me and pointed to where Celestia was stood, she’d noticed us. Her pink eyes burned a hole through us both, and it was clear to me that she expected us to be here. “Let’s get this over with.”

Me and Twilight approached and Celestia made her desire known, “Excuse me, I’m going to have a moment with my student.” The surrounding gentlemen dispersed into smaller groups, and Celestia did not say another word before leading us through the ballroom, past a pair of armed guards and out onto a balcony overlooking the lower garden. Somewhere private for us to have this discussion.

“Twilight.”

“Princess.”

“I take it that you are here to question me.”

I held my hoof out in front of Twilight and shook my head, I was the one who needed to say it. “Were you the one who turned me into this?” Celestia’s sullen face told the entire story.

“Yes. I did.”

“Why? I’ve been through hell and high water because of you.”

“To many ponies my actions are opaque, they are not capable of understanding. But I’m sure that you do. Humans know the pain of living better than anypony else.”

“You knew humans who weren’t me?”

“Occasionally. A crossing of the stars, or an unfortunate accident involving the arcane. Many of the species that live here in this world are the same. I have met a number of humans throughout my many years of rule. And within them I found a profound sadness. The process of which a species occupies this world is one of chance. Humans have seldom arrived in pairs.”

“Is that why? Because I’d be lonely?”

Celestia looked to the sky, “Yes. One of those humans was a close friend of mine, and in the end, he could not bare the weight of his life. I sat idly by and did nothing to save him. I swore from them that I would not allow such a thing to occur again under my watch. I did something foolish; I pilfered the deepest areas of our archive and when I learnt of your arrival, I used you as a test.”

Twilight was a rainbow of emotion. Disappointment, sadness, fear? This was the mare she looked up to as a second mother, the spotless and flawless immortal leader, admitting to a mistake.

“I have made my own share of terrible mistakes. Some graver than others. Twilight’s letters alarmed me. And I realized that I could not protect my pride over your safety. That is why I sent the book to you.”

“You don’t know how it feels. You’re just going to stand there and spout a load of fucking shit at me.”

“Words are the only thing I have. When you ask me why, I give you my reasoning.”

“You took away my body Princess. My identity. Loneliness is one thing, but dysphoria is another. If anything it’s deadlier. You only put me at risk by doing this, I don’t even want to talk about what I was thinking this whole time.”

“I can only apologise.”

Things had gotten tense. Twilight obviously wanted to interfere. So I stepped back and allowed her to say her piece. “Princess… I don’t know what to say. While I understand that you are capable of making mistakes, I do not understand the need for all of this secrecy. I dedicated a lot of my time to trying to help Gerry.” Celestia remained tight lipped.

“…Whatever. Can I get turned back or am I fucked?”

“Any spell that can be cast, can be reversed with enough will. Although we will need more than just that. The reason I acted so quickly and in haste, was because your body gave me only a short opportunity to cast the spell. Any later and the concentration of magic flowing into your body would render it moot. Even the power of an alicorn cannot endure the burden of casting the spell for long. Your assumption was correct Twilight, the self-replication of this kind of magic is forbidden knowledge.”

I scoffed, “So you knew how much trouble it causes, but you used it on me anyway?”

“Yes. I did. I saw it in my judgement to use it for what I thought was a good deed.”

“I’m disappointed in you.”

Celestia seemed shocked by Twilight’s words, but it wasn’t the kind of shock that was entirely negative. In fact, she seemed pleased that Twilight was arguing with her like this. It was something that I couldn’t understand at the time, I didn’t know enough about their relationship. She bowed her head to the both of us.

“Forgive me. No matter my intention, I should have never forced this on you without your permission.”

Twilight seemed placated by the admittance of error, but I wasn’t going to be convinced by a few kind words. I needed to know that I could change back first. I didn’t need to say a word, Twilight was already on top of it.

“I believe that Gerry would like to save the apologies for when he’s fixed.”

“Of course. If you need any assistance, it is yours.”

Was there anything else left to say? The anger that had filled my mind and body when I first arrived had been snuffed out like a candle. What else was to be done? Celestia had apologised and offered to help fix it. But I couldn’t be sure that she really understood. For as virtuous as Celestia presented herself as, she was capable of irrationality just like me.

She was a woman who’d lived for thousands of years – seeing the movement of mountains and the deaths of generations. Did she see us as toys to play with? Or was her head full of hubris, that she understood us like programmes in a machine. A spiral of repeating behaviours and mistakes and wants and fears. She prided herself on making people happy. If she wasn’t making me happy, did it tear her up on the inside? A pre-emptive strike against depression and the grievances of the common man.

So she could keep her words to herself. Forgiveness was not on the menu. The quality of her character was something that I’d discover in due time – now that Twilight had opened pandora’s box and let her know what was happening.

No, she’s not a dictator, or a god. She’s a damn coward.

"Enjoy the rest of the ball."

She's all smiles though.

Author's Notes:

A huge thank you to:
Evo
Korenav

For supporting me on patreon.

The confrontation isn't as explosive as Gerry expected - and as you can probably guess things are going to take a turn for the strange soon.